The icy wind that swept across the frozen courtyard of Roswaal's mansion carried with it a gentle swirl of snow, setting a peaceful backdrop for a world where hearts were anything but tranquil. Dusk settled in slowly, streaking the sky above Lugunica with faint orange and pink hues. White flakes drifted lazily over the parapets and columns, accumulating in corners and on windowsills, as if to remind each onlooker of the unrelenting march of winter.
Emilia stood atop the veranda's marble steps, gazing out at the horizon. Her silver hair caught the last embers of daylight, shimmering in the gentle swirl of snow. She wore a simple lavender cloak over her usual white-and-purple attire—an outfit far lighter than one would expect for the biting cold. Yet, her expression was distant, as though her thoughts carried burdens that her shoulders could barely bear.
Emilia's day had started no differently from any other. She had awoken in her private chambers at the mansion, her daily routine set: a light breakfast, a few quiet moments of magical training, and occasional meetings with the villagers from Arlam who had come seeking her help in small disputes. She spent most of the day performing these duties with the grace and kindness expected of a candidate for the royal selection. Yet, beneath the surface, she felt a subtle disquiet stirring—a restlessness she could not name.
Subaru had left on an errand earlier that day, presumably to assist Otto with some procurement in the village. Over the past few weeks, he had been busier than ever, diving wholeheartedly into supporting Emilia's campaign and the welfare of the domain. Subaru's diligence, unwavering devotion, and bright enthusiasm served as the bedrock for Emilia's ambitions. She was grateful—truly—but also felt the weight of his expectations pressing down on her. There were moments she felt undeserving, times she questioned if her own sense of self could withstand the intensity of Subaru's feelings.
The gentle crunch of boots on snow alerted her to the presence of another. Turning, she found Julius Juukulius—once Subaru's rival of sorts, yet now an ally who had shared in more than one harrowing adventure. His light purple hair and pristine knight's uniform cast a stark contrast against the white expanse. A faint smile tugged at Emilia's lips, somewhat surprising her.
"Evening, Lady Emilia," Julius said politely, a courteous bow accompanying his greeting. In his voice, she sensed genuine concern. "Are you out here alone? The temperature is dropping."
Emilia let out a small laugh. "Yes, it's cold, but the quiet helps me think. I needed a moment away from…everything."
She did not say the wordSubaru, but somehow it sat there in the unspoken quiet. It had been Julius's habit, lately, to check on those around him. Ever since their conflict and eventual cooperation against darker threats, Julius had shown a more empathetic side—particularly towards Emilia.
He stepped onto the veranda, arms folded. "I understand. I often find a walk in the cold can clear one's mind, though I recommend warmer attire."
She crossed her arms, more defensively than she intended. "I am fine. Spirit arts keep me from freezing." Her voice was soft, though laced with an underlying tension. "It's more about…my worries. Where do we go from here? How do I keep everyone safe? How do I not disappoint those who believe in me?"
Her amethyst eyes darted to Julius. For a moment, she wondered why she was confiding in him. Perhaps it was the neutrality of his stance—he was neither a childhood friend nor a constant caretaker like Subaru. Julius felt like an equal, a knight from another faction who still had a stake in the well-being of the kingdom.
Julius gave her a compassionate look. "Those are not small questions, Lady Emilia. I can only answer from my perspective, but…" He paused, choosing his words carefully. "If there is one thing I learned from Subaru, it's the power of unyielding commitment. But it can also be a burden, especially for the person at the receiving end. Could it be that you…feel smothered by his unwavering dedication?"
A sudden rush of guilt hit Emilia. She blinked, turning her gaze away. The last thing she wanted was to sound ungrateful towards Subaru. Still, the question ignited something she had repressed for weeks.
"It's not that I don't appreciate him," she said quietly, "but I feel guilty—I don't know if I can return his feelings in the exact same way. Sometimes he seems so certain about his devotion, and I'm still learning what it means to live among others, to see them as equals."
She turned back to Julius, searching his eyes. A swirl of snow settled on his hair, lending him an almost ethereal appearance. "I…admire Subaru, but his presence can be overwhelming. It's like I'm torn between gratitude, duty, and the uncertainty of my own emotions."
Julius nodded solemnly. "That's understandable, Lady Emilia. Feelings can be contradictory. I've noticed Subaru's boundless energy and fervor. It's his strength, and also… I imagine it can be a pressure cooker of sorts for you."
Emilia gave him a hesitant smile. For a time, both stood side by side, gazing out into the swirling snow, neither fully grasping the turbulent undercurrents that would soon upend their fragile equilibrium.
For the next few days, Julius lingered at Roswaal's mansion under the pretext of collaborative training with Subaru, practicing swordplay and magical synergy. Yet, Julius often found himself speaking to Emilia more than expected—about politics, the nature of her magical training, the responsibilities of a ruler. What began as short, cordial conversations soon evolved into lengthy dialogues that extended late into the evening.
When Subaru and Otto took occasional trips to the village for supplies or small negotiations, Julius and Emilia often ended up sharing solitary dinners in the mansion's grand dining hall. At first, it felt awkward—both were aware of Subaru's importance in Emilia's life and in Julius's personal journey. However, their conversations soon found a steady rhythm, pivoting away from trivialities to more genuine, personal topics.
Emilia's heart felt lighter during these talks. With Julius, she discovered a sounding board who didn't see her merely as a figure to be protected or idolized. He listened, corrected her gently when her political knowledge needed refining, and challenged her to think beyond her comfort zone. In turn, she found herself curious about his experiences: the duties he shouldered as a knight in service to Anastasia, the complicated relationship he had with Subaru, and his own aspirations for Lugunica.
One evening, as the mansion's staff prepared for bedtime, Emilia and Julius remained at the large, polished wooden table. Candles and a lone chandelier provided a warm golden light against the hush of the late hour.
They had been discussing a hypothetical scenario—how to handle negotiations if Anastasia and Emilia's interests clashed in the future. Emilia was reluctant to explore the idea of clashing with someone who had aided them in crises before. But Julius, ever the realist, pointed out that alliances often shift with the tides of power.
"There may come a day," he said, swirling the lukewarm tea in his cup, "when you'll have to stand your ground firmly, even against Anastasia or Crusch. Even against me, perhaps."
Her gaze dropped to the table. "I know. But it hurts to think about fighting people who helped us."
"That's politics," Julius said softly, sympathy in his eyes. "Yet you have Subaru's unwavering loyalty. You have the people of Arlam. You have strong relationships with the likes of Otto, who is surprisingly shrewd. And you also have—"
He paused, as though weighing the significance of his next words. "—you also have me, in a sense. I respect you deeply, and in a scenario where lines are drawn, I would… want to see your cause succeed, if it's in the best interest of Lugunica."
Emilia looked up, her cheeks warming. The dinner hall suddenly felt more intimate than it should have been. Something tugged at her heart. She realized it was the closeness she felt to Julius, the easy companionship and mutual respect forming between them. A little seed of guilt pricked her thoughts—Is this how I should be feeling, given Subaru's devotion?
Yet she chose not to dwell on it, or perhaps she silently convinced herself this was mere friendship.
Late that night, Emilia couldn't sleep. Thoughts circled around her like snow flurries in a winter storm. She tossed in her bed, thinking about the day's conversation, about Julius's sincerity, about Subaru's unyielding fervor. A heaviness settled on her heart.
Why do I feel so conflicted?she it because I'm just tired, or is there something deeper?
A soft knock at her door startled her. Slipping on a robe, she hesitated. It was nearly midnight—who would visit at this hour?
When she cautiously opened the door, Julius stood in the hallway, a surprised and perhaps apologetic look on his face. He wore a simple shirt and breeches, a stark contrast to his formal knight's uniform, and in the dim corridor light, he appeared almost boyish—vulnerable.
"I—apologies for the hour," he began, voice low so as not to wake the household. "I wanted to speak to you about some final points regarding tomorrow's negotiations with the merchant. Otto asked me to—"
Emilia blinked. "Oh. S-sure. Come in."
She motioned him inside. Her room was modestly furnished, with a small bookshelf, a wide bed, and a dresser, plus a window overlooking the courtyard. The ambiance was comfortable but clearly too private a space for a guest at such a late hour.
They spoke in hushed voices about the merchant's requests, verifying documents Otto had prepared. The conversation was short, but neither seemed eager to end it.
At last, Julius exhaled softly. "You should rest, Lady Emilia. You're clearly tired. I only came because Otto mentioned you might have a revision for the negotiation points. I didn't mean to disturb you."
Emilia clutched the edge of her robe, feeling an odd sense of relief just to talk with him. "It's all right, Julius. Actually, I… I'm glad you came. I couldn't sleep."
He tilted his head. "Is something on your mind?"
Emilia considered deflecting, but the honesty in his gaze felt inviting. "I—I suppose it's about Subaru. He gives me everything he has, and I'm grateful. But I also feel this…pressure. Sometimes, I find it hard to separate whatIwant from what I feelobligatedto want, because of how good he's been to me."
Julius nodded, listening attentively. "A relationship born of debt—emotional or otherwise—can be complicated."
She offered a wistful smile. "I appreciate him so much. Yet, I'm not sure if my heart is as certain as his is. I feel guilty, as if I'm betraying him by having doubts."
A heartbeat of silence followed. Julius reached out and, in a moment of uncharacteristic tenderness, placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Your feelings are valid. Love shouldn't be weighed on a scale of who owes whom. It should be about equality, mutual understanding. Sometimes we need to realize that we're not ungrateful for wanting to explore our own emotions."
Emilia felt a flutter of warmth travel up her arm, then settle somewhere beneath her collarbone. She looked up at Julius. In that fleeting moment, a current of shared understanding passed between them.
Time stretched like taffy. She realized, with a pang of self-awareness, how close their faces had become, how she could see the faint silver flecks in his violet eyes. She felt the pull—subtle, yet undeniable.
Julius, noticing the same, started to withdraw, but not before Emilia moved closer. It was a small motion, barely more than an instinctual lean forward. The space between them evaporated. Their lips hovered a breath apart.
A wave of conflicted emotion crashed in Emilia's chest: desire mingled with guilt, curiosity mixed with fear. She thought of Subaru's unwavering devotion, of how he would do anything for her. The knowledge of betraying that trust clashed with a present, urgent longing for solace in someone who understood her need for personal clarity.
And so, in that moment, Emilia closed the distance. Their lips met in a gentle, uncertain kiss. It lasted only a second, a brief brush that left them both wide-eyed and breathless.
Julius instinctively pulled back, his voice a whisper laced with worry. "Lady Emilia… w-we can't—Subaru—"
Emilia looked away, shame and panic flooding her face. "I… I'm sorry."
But something had ignited—a small spark that refused to be extinguished by the weight of guilt. Despite the shock and moral lines they both knew they were crossing, the closeness did not vanish. It lingered in every glance, every breath, in the trembling brush of Emilia's hand against Julius's.
Outside, snow fell steadily. Unseen by all, it blanketed the world in silent, hushed acceptance.
The next morning brought a fresh tension to the mansion's halls. Emilia and Julius avoided each other's gazes during breakfast, speaking only in polite, formal tones about the schedule. Otto was too occupied with finalizing the day's errands to notice anything amiss, but one person did pick up on the unusual dynamic: Ram.
She eyed them both with mild suspicion, though she said nothing. The pastel-haired demon maid was rarely one for idle gossip; she simply observed.
Subaru, returning late in the morning from a quick supply trip, was his usual boisterous self. He clasped Julius's shoulder in a companionable gesture. "Yo, Julius! You ready to face that merchant? I heard he's the stingiest in the territory. We might need your silver tongue to handle this one."
Julius forced a small smile. "Of course. I'll do what I can."
Emilia, who stood nearby, tried not to cringe at Subaru's casual closeness to Julius. A swirl of guilt churned in her stomach. Her mind flashed to last night's brief, stolen kiss, replaying it with both yearning and regret.
"Emilia-tan!" Subaru turned to her with a bright grin. "You're looking lovely as always. Everything all right? You're a bit quiet."
She managed a soft smile. "Just tired, Subaru. I had trouble sleeping."
He laughed lightly. "You should nap after we finish meeting with that merchant. No point in pushing yourself so hard!"
She nodded, tension pulling at her chest. "Thank you, Subaru."
Over the course of the day, she found excuses to keep busy, not wanting any idle moments that might prompt conversation about deeper feelings. The guilt weighed on her, as did an unexpected sense of anticipation—she couldn't deny the allure of what she had felt in Julius's presence. It frightened her how easily she could think about it again and again.
By evening, she resolved to bury the event in her heart. It had been a momentary lapse, she told herself. It wouldn't happen again. She would reaffirm her dedication to Subaru, reorient her feelings, and maintain a healthy boundary with Julius.
However, such resolutions are easier made than kept.
Days turned into a week. Emilia did her best to avoid any private moments with Julius, but her efforts were continually thwarted by the nature of mansion life. Whether it was group dinners, strategy discussions, or unexpected run-ins in the corridor, they found themselves face to face more often than either found comfortable.
Their interactions buzzed with unresolved tension. A fleeting touch of their fingers while passing documents would send a jolt through both of them. A soft brushing of shoulders in the hallway caused heated glances that lingered a moment too long.
Meanwhile, Subaru remained blissfully unaware. He spent his days traveling between the mansion and the village, assisting Otto with trade negotiations. Part of him worried about the upcoming royal selection trials, about supporting Emilia's public image. Yet, he never suspected that within the walls of Roswaal's domain, the woman he adored and the knight he respected were grappling with emotions they had not foreseen.
Otto, though less perceptive than Ram in some social matters, began to notice a shift. He observed how Emilia sometimes grew quiet or flustered if Julius was around. He also observed how Julius avoided meeting Subaru's eyes for prolonged periods. A sharp and intelligent merchant, Otto found the changed atmosphere puzzling. Though he didn't jump to conclusions, a seed of suspicion began to grow.
One late afternoon, Otto approached Emilia in the courtyard. She stood beside a frosty rosebush, staring at the thin layer of ice that coated the rose petals.
"Lady Emilia," Otto said in a friendly tone, "might I have a word?"
She turned to him, her expression guarded. "Of course, Otto. Is this about the negotiations?"
He scratched his cheek. "It's partially about negotiations, but… also about you."
Emilia's brows furrowed slightly, an apprehension forming in her chest. "What do you mean?"
Otto chose his words carefully. "You seem tense lately, and I've noticed you and Julius seem—well, let's just say it feels like there's some unspoken discomfort."
A pang of alarm shot through her. She forced a calm front. "It's nothing, Otto. Julius and I—maybe we just had a small disagreement."
Otto nodded slowly, not fully convinced. "I see. Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk. And—if there's something Subaru should know, or if I can help mediate, please let me know."
She tried to smile but ended up with an awkward grimace. "Thank you. I appreciate your concern."
That evening, as a light snow drifted over the courtyard, Emilia's resolve fractured once again. She had been in the library, pouring over old texts about spirit arts, trying to drown her mind in study. A candle's flame flickered with the draft, and she found her eyes drooping despite the tension coiled in her chest.
Just as she considered returning to her room, she sensed a presence behind her. Turning, she spotted Julius standing at the library's entrance, his posture hesitant.
"I'm sorry," he began quietly, "I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just—"
Emilia offered a weak smile, though her heart pounded. "You don't have to apologize, Julius. This library is for everyone."
Silence pressed between them, thick and palpable. Each remembered the kiss, the lingering confusion, the unspoken longing. At length, Julius broke the quiet, stepping closer.
"Emilia," he said softly, dropping the formal title for once. "We should address what happened. I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, I can't talk to Subaru properly—I'm tormented by guilt."
She felt her eyes burn with unshed tears, her voice trembling. "Me too. I feel terrible for betraying his trust, for feeling these…these things for you that I can't ignore. But I also—"
Julius moved closer, capturing her trembling hands in his own. "I didn't plan this. I never wanted to hurt Subaru, or you. Yet, every time I see you, I can't deny there's something between us."
A tear slipped down her cheek. "It's not fair to him."
"No," Julius agreed, "it's not. But if there's a chance we can find out what this means… I don't know."
Emilia squeezed his hands, her tears streaking silently. She knew the moral lines she was crossing. She was fully aware of the heartbreak it would cause Subaru. But in that moment, the conflict gave way to a raw, desperate need—for acceptance, for reassurance, for an intimacy built not on the pedestal of worship, but on a bond of mutual discovery.
As the candle in the library guttered, they stepped into one another's embrace, letting their regret and urgency guide them into a forbidden moment. Soft words drowned in the hush of the snow outside. In the cloistered warmth of the library's old tomes, Emilia and Julius surrendered to impulses that neither had the strength to resist.
They did not speak Subaru's name or consider the repercussions that would undoubtedly follow. In that instant, all that existed was the silent library and two souls seeking solace in each other's arms.
Dawn's pale light crept through the mansion's corridors, slow and unassuming. Emilia awoke in her own bed, but the memory of the night lingered on her skin. A wave of shame and confusion welled up. Her mind replayed every caress, every whisper. Though not explicit, the intimacy they shared was enough to leave her reeling from the weight of her betrayal.
She rose, dressed quietly, and left her room with the intention of finding a quiet space to gather her thoughts. Before she could make it down the corridor, she nearly collided with Otto, who looked more than a little concerned.
"Lady Emilia," he said, eyes scanning her face, "you look unwell. Are you all right?"
She forced a tight-lipped smile. "Just…didn't sleep well."
Otto's lips thinned. He glanced toward Julius's room, then back at Emilia. Clearly, suspicion gnawed at him. "Subaru was looking for you earlier, but you weren't in your room. Were you in the library all night?"
Her stomach flipped. The color drained from her cheeks. "I—yes, I fell asleep there, reading. Then I came back to my room, but… it was late."
Otto studied her, but he did not press further. "I see. Well, Subaru mentioned he wants to go to the capital soon for some errands. He'll want your input. When you're feeling ready, perhaps you can talk to him."
Emilia nodded stiffly. "Of course. Thank you for letting me know."
Otto offered a short bow, departing with a gaze that was far from convinced.
At breakfast, Emilia maintained a veneer of normalcy. Subaru's bright chatter washed over her like a tide, and she responded as best she could. Julius showed up late, looking tired and preoccupied. The two avoided direct eye contact, focusing on neutral topics.
Subaru glanced between them, frowning slightly. "You two look exhausted. Are you guys sure you're not overworking yourselves? Maybe we need a group day off—like a spa trip or something. I hear the capital has hot springs in a nearby district!"
Emilia almost choked on her tea. The thought of going on a relaxing trip with both Subaru and Julius was almost too painful to imagine now. "That might be a nice idea, Subaru. Let's… discuss it later."
Julius merely nodded, uncharacteristically quiet.
Otto watched the exchange in silence. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
And so, a tentative truce of lies formed under the mansion's roof. Emilia and Julius continued to meet in the secrecy of late hours, torn between their guilt and a deepening connection. Each encounter heightened the tension, piling up the consequences like tinder waiting for a spark.
Subaru, sweet and oblivious, kept forging plans for Emilia's future, unknowing that the fragile foundation of trust between them was cracking beneath his feet. Otto lingered in the background, suspicion burning bright behind his thoughtful eyes.
Winter's chill deepened, but the real storm brewed within the hearts of those ensnared in a web of betrayal, duty, and unspoken truths.