"Jack?"

He looked up in surprise. He hadn't seen Sam for over a week, and some days wondered if she would decide not to come back. He felt a rush of pleasure, then pain, then discomfort.

"Sam," he said gently. "I – uh – hope you're feeling better?" He hadn't known whether to pretend he believed she'd been sick or simply ignore that she'd been gone. He decided the former was easier for both of them.

She gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry. I just needed some time. Uh, can we talk?" The store wasn't busy that morning, at least not yet, and their other staff could handle any customers. Jack looked uncomfortable at her words but nodded. They both knew they had to address how they were going to work together.

They stepped out of the store and walked a little way down the street. Without saying anything they had mutually agreed not to go to their usual spot in the garden at the back.

It was still early, so few people were out, although those that were nodded and called good morning. After a few minutes Sam began to speak.

"I – wanted to thank you for being honest with me last week," she said in a rush. "I know that must have been terribly difficult for you, so your trust in me means a lot." She paused and took a deep breath but kept walking and not looking at the man at her side. "What you went through – and what you're dealing with now – I can't imagine. But I want you to know, that even if," she stopped and took another breath, afraid that her voice would break with anguish, "even if we can never be more, I want to continue to be your friend. You mean too much to me to lose you."

"Sam -", he stopped and closed his eyes, wanting to cry out with the pain and the regret. "I don't – I never wanted to hurt you."

"Of course you didn't, Jack," she said in surprise. "I knew that – I know that. I know you're doing what you feel is right and, even if I don't like it, I'll respect it. But please – can we not stay friends, even if we can never be more than that?"

Jack was silent, not because he didn't – desperately – want to say yes, but he didn't know if he could handle it. Being around Sam, when he loved her and wanted nothing more than to spend his life with her, was agonizing. But would it be less agonizing if he were to never see her again? He didn't know.

"Jack?" she asked, sounding afraid.

Jack finally stopped and turned towards her. "Carter – Sam – you mean more to me than anyone else in this world, or any other," his lips quirked in a quick smile, "and I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you just said. Your friendship is important to me. If I didn't answer right away it was because - "

"Because you don't know if you can bear seeing me If we can be nothing but friends," she continued for him, so softly he could barely hear. "I spent the week wondering the same thing," she told him. "In the end, I decided the pain of not seeing you and not being friends, was worse than being nothing but friends. Jack, we've managed for years to keep our feelings to ourselves. We can just pretend that the regs are still in existence."

"But we're not in the military here, Sam," he told her. "Our relationship is different."

"Yes, but it can be good."

He thought for a few more moments, knowing it had taken courage for her to speak to him, hell, even to show up back to the store. Could he throw her friendship back in her face? But could he live with seeing her every day and do nothing but yearn for her? He closed his eyes and finally nodded.

"Yes, let's keep our friendship," he held up his hand, "but with one condition."

"What's that?" she asked fearfully.

"You will promise me that, if you meet someone, someone who likes you and is a good man, you will give him a chance. I want you to find love and happiness with someone and, if you want, have a family. So, you have to promise me that you will not let me stand in the way."

"What if we find our way home?" she asked, not wanting to even contemplate finding someone here on Hjem.

"Then – that will be even better," he said. "We will go on with our lives and hopefully you'll find someone on Earth to love and who loves you." When she didn't speak, he grasped her arms with his hands. "Sam, promise me? It is the only way we can continue. You have to let me go, Sam – as anything more than your former commander and now friend. Can you do that?"

She regarded him seriously, but then nodded. Keeping his friendship was worth the promise, although in her heart she knew she could never find anyone to replace Jack O'Neill. "I promise," she said. What she didn't let Jack see, or know, was that her fingers were crossed behind her back. It may have been childish, but she didn't care. She was going to find a way to keep Jack O'Neill in her life.

It took all his courage to knock on the door. He stood outside, for the longest time, until people walking down the street started looking at him strangely. Someone was going to call a security officer if he didn't move.

He wanted to laugh at himself. He could throw himself into battle with the fiercest enemies with less fear than he was experienced standing outside the healer's door. "Move your ass, O'Neill," he muttered to himself. The woman walking past him looked at him with fear.

"Just talking to myself," he told her. She hurried away and he grimaced, but it was the impetus he needed. He knocked.

The door opened and a tiny little woman answered the door. She had gray hair, and her skin was bronzed and wrinkled. She also had a lovely smile and motioned him inside.

"Jack O'Neill, welcome. I was just about to come and drag you inside. My neighbors were probably wondering who was planted outside my door."

"Sorry," he grimaced as he followed her inside. This was obviously her home as well as office. It was small, like her, but clean and bright. There were flowers everywhere and it smelled fresh and clean. He felt himself relax just a bit.

"It's okay. A lot of people are fearful the first time they come. But then they see me," she grinned. "I look like everyone's favorite grandma, and that helps."

He laughed. That's exactly what he'd been thinking, and he'd even wondered how she could possibly help him. But he suddenly had a suspicion that she was much tougher than she appeared.

"Come, have a seat," she pointed to comfortable chair that looked just his size. She took the chair across from him and it was much smaller and daintier. She would have been lost in the bigger chair. "Are you comfortable?"

"Mmm hmm," he told her. At least physically he was comfortable but the rest of him was wound tight. He hated shrinks and he figured that's what she was, even if they called her 'healer' here.

"No, you're not," she smiled, "but that's okay. This is hard for most people. There are drinks beside you – juice and water. If you get thirsty, help yourself. There are also tissues beside you if you need one."

"Thank you," he nodded, but didn't move. He knew his hands would shake if he were to take a drink and there was no way he was going to need a tissue. He was just going to sit here and try and appear calm and fearless. He was pretty sure that right now he didn't look either.

"So, I understand you are here to deal with some pain in your life," Kisamor said gently. "I know nothing more than that, so why don't you tell me whatever you would like to share. And know that anything that is said here, stays between the two of us."

He nodded, knowing without her saying anything, that he could trust her. It was strange, but he suddenly felt more relaxed than he had when he first arrived. Maybe it was because she did look like someone's sweet grandmother – or maybe there was truth in her being a healer. Whatever it was, he could feel the fear start to fade away and a small bit of hope begin to grow in his heart.

"You are looking well, Jack," Magnus was striding alongside him as they made their way from the local Bolspel game. He had introduced the game to Jack, and together the two men would try and attend any games they could. Jack enjoyed this time spent with his friend immensely. He didn't have to think about anything other than the players on the field and spending time with Magnus.

Bolspel was similar to soccer – or futbol – although the rules were slightly different. It hadn't taken Jack long to catch on, and he already had his favorite team. They had made it to the finals, so today's game was a big one. His team had won, which added to his pleasure.

"Am I?" he finally answered. "I thought I looked like I always do," he grinned at his friend.

"No – you look – lighter somehow. Are things going well?"

Jack stopped suddenly and looked at the other man. "Uh – things are fine. Why do you ask?"

Magnus looked at him in surprise. "Because it is good to see you looking well. I care about you, my friend. I have been worried, but it appears as if you are beginning to find yourself once more."

"Find myself?" Jack frowned. "Do you – did Ethan say anything to you?"

"Ethan? He has said nothing to me about you. When he first found you, we both worried – and I admit I have worried about you until lately. But no, Ethan has said nothing." He paused. "I am sorry if I have offended you."

"No," Jack chuckled and gently slapped his friend on the shoulder. "You did nothing wrong, Magnus. I'm just a bit – touchy."

"Touchy?" Magnus frowned, clearly not understanding what Jack was saying.

"Touchy – it means – uh – sensitive." Jack wrinkled his nose, somehow not liking to think of himself as "sensitive".

"Oh, I see." Magnus didn't say anything more, but when Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friend was terribly curious. With a sigh, but also a fond chuckle, he decided it was time to confide in his friend.

"I've been seeing a healer,' he said suddenly. "I think – it's been helping."

"I am glad," his friend answered, grasping his shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze. "You are a good man, Jack O'Neill, and you deserve to be happy and well."

"Hmm – I can't say as I'm quite there yet," Jack answered seriously, "and to be honest, I don't know if I'll ever get there, not completely, but I am feeling better."

"That is good. May I ask – and do not tell me if you had rather not – who is the healer you are seeing?"

"Her name is Kisamor."

At that Magnus grinned, so wide it looked as if his face would split. "Yes!" he said and Jack could almost imagine his friend pumping his fist. "She is the one," he said. "You do not need to worry, Jack. You will – uh 'get there' as you said, with her guiding you."

"She's that good?" Jack smiled, not really believing his friend, although he did like her.

"She is more than 'good', Jack. She is special. I know of no one who has seen her who's life hasn't been changed for the better. You are in good hands, my friend. Oh, I am so happy."

Jack felt somewhat bemused as he walked beside his friend. Magnus was beaming. He felt grateful and somewhat humbled that his friend cared so much for him. But he was also curious about Magnus' view of Kisamor. His reaction had been strong, and it made Jack wonder. After a few minutes, however, he shook himself. Kisamor was good at her job, and she was a kind lady – but she was no miracle worker.

"I will not say anything," Magnus suddenly announced. "You need not worry that this will get back to – to anyone."

"Not even Magda?" Jack grinned.

His friend groaned. "She will kill me if she ever finds out, but no – not even her. I hold your words sacred, Jack. Thank you for honoring me with your trust. And I truly am happy that things are looking better for you."

"So am I," Jack responded quietly. He didn't have the confidence of Magnus, that everything would suddenly be okay – but he was feeling better. He would take whatever he could get.

"Let us stop for a drink and celebrate, Jack."

"Celebrate what?" he looked at his friend suspiciously.

"That our team won," Magnus answered guilelessly. It was only as they were walking into the local equivalent of a pub, that Jack was sure he heard his friend mutter, "and that my friend is finding himself."