these little wonders
Ellitheria
Summary:
"Things are a little complicated with your daddy right now," she whispers, her thumb brushing over her warm skin. "But we're gonna figure it out. We have to. Foryou."
She imagines all of the milestones — the doctor's appointments, finding out her pants don't fit anymore, feeling their baby kick, the baby'sbirth— and she'sso fucking uninterestedin doing it alone that she fumbles for her phone, firing a quick text off to Tim before laying down.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
We need to talk.
OR
What if Lucy was pregnant when Tim broke up with her?
Chapter 1
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain
Little Wonders - Rob Thomas
Lucy
Lucy drives home on auto-pilot after Tim promises to spend the rest of his life making things up to her, the just-purchased pharmacy bag clutched tightly in her free hand.
Shewantsto be overjoyed by his promise.
Shewantsto be hopeful.
And, if it were just her, she would be.
She'd beover the moon.
She wouldn't give in quickly, of course. She's not necessarily the type to make him beg, but sheisthe type to make him prove his dedication to her first.
He'd broken her heart, regardless ofwhyhe'd done it, and she would make sure of his intentions before starting over with him.
She knows he's worth the effort, is the thing.
She knows he's a good man, anhonorableman, and sheknowsthat he hadn't broken up with her with malicious intent.
Sheknowsthese things, but it doesn't make things any easier.
And now…nowher decision is about to be a hundred times harder.
She sits in her car for a long time after parking in front of her building, working up the courage to ascend the stairs and walk into the apartment she now shares with a well-intentioned but somewhat nosy roommate.
She doesn't think Celina is home yet — she doesn't see her car in the parking lot, at least — and she knows she needs to hurry before the other woman arrives. She needs to do this and process and figure out what thefuckshe's going to do before she has to make small talk and pretend that everything is alright.
She blows out a breath and glances down, her hand already unconsciously resting on her stomach.
"Let's do this," she whispers to her uterus, and then, with a dramatic heave, hauls herself out of the car, tosses her backpack over her shoulder, and quickly jogs up the stairs two at a time. She opens her apartment, kicks off her shoes, and then heads straight into the bathroom.
She locks it behind herself just in case, gathers her dress in her hands, and then sits on the toilet, box clutched tightly in her hands.
It takes less than a minute before she's finished, the capped test sitting innocently on the counter as she chews on her bottom lip.
How will she feel if it's negative?
What will she do if it'spositive?
She knows that Tim will have mixed feelings.
The Tim of a few weeks ago would have been overjoyed, but this new Tim? The Tim that's been uncovering repressed trauma, the one who saidI don't recognize myself anymore?The one who walked away from her even though she'd never imagined, in her darkest nightmare, that he would?
She doesn't know whatthatTim will think.
"We can do this on our own if we have to," she murmurs to himself, because she already knows that, if the test is positive, she's keeping the baby.
Her baby.
Tim'sbaby.
She'll raise them alone if that's what it takes, though she doesn't imagine there's a single universe in which Tim won't be a part of their life.
Even broken, shattered, doubting-himself Tim will be a better father to this child than his was to him.
Lucy watches as the liquid slowly seeps up the test, her heart speeding in her chest as it passes the first line.
She knows she's supposed to wait the full three minutes, but she finds herself staring at the little window of the test in anticipation, lip between her teeth as it slowly saturates itself.
The pink line comes quickly.
Soquickly.
Itimmediatelyturns a deep, dark pink even though the control line is barely visible yet, and Lucy squeaks in surprise as she reaches out and gathers it in her hand, holding it up to the light.
Two lines.
Two lines.
Oh, god, she's pregnant.
WithTim's baby.
Herex-boyfriend'sbaby.
She feels tears in her eyes but she can't tell of they're tears of fear or of happiness.
She's wanted this for,god,forforever.Since her first date with Tim she's imagine little babies with her skin and his eyes running around, their faces filled with mischief and their little hands reaching out to her.
Two girls, she thinks.
And a baby boy that looksjustlike Tim.
Shewants them.
She hasalwayswanted them.
But not like this.
Notnow.
Not when he's so far out of her reach.
But…
I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, in whatever small doses you will allow.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Lucy grips the test tightly in her hand and tosses the trash, making sure to cover the pregnancy text box with the pharmacy bag and then a few wads of toilet paper just in case. She flushes the toilet and then walks into her room, quickly changing from her dress into the t-shirt of Tim's that she still sleeps in.
She sits heavily on the bed in the t-shirt and panties, staring at the test, one hand on her belly beneath the cotton fabric.
Ababy.
"Hi," she whispers, pushing the material of Tim's t-shirt up far enough that she can see her still-flat belly. "Hey, baby. I'm your mommy."
Tears spring to her eyes as she sits there,alone,talking to her child.
Tim should be here.
Damn it,Tim should be here!
"Things are a little complicated with your daddy right now," she whispers, her thumb brushing over her warm skin. "But we're gonna figure it out. We have to. Foryou."
She imagines all of the milestones — the doctor's appointments, finding out her pants don't fit anymore, feeling their baby kick, the baby'sbirth— and she'sso fuckinguninterestedin doing it alone that she fumbles for her phone, firing a quick text off to Tim before laying down.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
We need to talk.
She closes her eyes, one hand splayed over her belly as she imagines a little tiny person growing inside of her, no bigger than a grain of rice.
They'll figure it out, she muses, sighing as she feels her phone vibrate in the bed next to her.
They have to.
Notes:
Oooooh nooooooo I started another WIP.
OH WELL, 8 MONTHS IS A LOOOOOOONG TIME. I'LL FINISH THEM ALL.
Kudos and comments feed the muse! I love feedback (as all writer's do!) and I love hearing from you.
Chapter 2
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim is still sitting in his truck, the words he'd said to Lucy echoing on an endless loop in his head, when his phone dings with the arrival of an incoming text message.
He almost doesn't answer it.
I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, in whatever small doses you allow.
He wants to go back to those moments in the elevator and tell Lucymore.
There was so muchmorehe wanted to say, so much he's kept inside since he walked away and broke her heart.
I love you.
I regret what I did.
Please, god,pleaseforgive me.
He'd wanted to beg her to take him back, to give him another chance, but he hadn't.
It had seemed like too much, too soon, and he knows that he needs to give her time.
"Fuck," he grunts quietly, and he sighs as he brushes a hand over his weary face, wincing when his fingers catch on the wound above his eye. He reaches for his phone with his uninjured arm and taps the screen to light it up, his heart catching in his throat when he sees who the text message is from.
Lucy.
His fingers hover above the screen, trembling almost imperceptibly as he hesitates.
She hadn't responded in the elevator or the parking garage, and he's worried that, now that she's had time to think, she's going to tell himno thank you.
He's worried that he hurt her beyond repair.
Only one way to find out,he muses, and he taps on the notification, his eyes greedily reading her short message.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
We need to talk.
He stares at the phone, his heart thundering.
We need to talk.
Nothing good hasevercome before those four words.
His eyes are burning with emotion as he responds, his fingers shaking so badly he has to backspace and rewrite his sentence several times before it's written in proper English with no typos.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I can call you or come over tonight, or we can talk tomorrow. Up to you.
Everything is up to her, he thinks, chewing on his bottom lip as he waits for those telltale three dots to appear.
Including whether or not there will ever be athemagain, though he desperately hopes she'll give him another chance once he heals himself enough to deserve her.
She doesn't respond for a few moments, and Tim is just turning his truck off and beginning to climb out when he hears his phone ding again. He pauses, half in and half out of the cab, his injured arm aching as he leans it against the truck so he can reach his phone and unlock it.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
We should talk in person. Um. Celina will be home soon, though, so maybe tomorrow?
Tim sighs as he reads her words, his stomach sinking.
He won't sleep at all tonight, he knows.
Not withoutknowing.
It's her choice, though —everythingis her choice, now, and he would wait a million years for her if that was what she wanted.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I'll bring coffee and donuts to the station. We can talk and eat before shift. Is that okay?
Lucy's response is almost immediate, and Tim would feel pathetic at the way he eagerly devours her words, but he's just happy she's talking to him now.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Nevin's?
He rolls his eyes, fighting a smile as he reaches for and slings his backpack over his good shoulder, texting as he walks toward his front door. Kojo is about to gnaw the baseboards off as he whines and prances inside of the house, and he pauses to open the door, lay his bag down, and greet Lucy's dog before responding.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Of course Nevin's. I'm not a heathen.
He imagines Lucy smiling at his teasing, and he wishes he could hear her laugh as she reads his words.
He sends a second message before she responds, though, letting Kojo out to do his business while he waits for her to text back.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Chai tea latte? Chocolate croissant?
He knows her order like the back of his hand. He even keeps extra Lactate on him in case she forgets so that she doesn't have to deal with cramps and upset stomach from the chocolate.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
You know me so well.
He smiles softly and remembers the last time she'd uttered those words.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Too well.
Lucy doesn't respond after that, and Tim doesn't blame her.
He's overwhelmed by memories of the past, his heart aching as he remembers sitting beside her hospital bed as she'd eagerly devoured the veggie burger with extra pickles. He remembers her smiling at him despite what she'd just gone through.
He'd loved her then, too, he now knows, though he hadn't let himself realize it for a long time.
He wishes he could go back to easy smiles and soft teasing, the anticipation of forbidden love simmering between them for so long.
He wishes he could go back toit's a better story for the grandkidsandunless it is.
He wishes he could go back tothat nightand go home with her.
If he could do it again, he thinks he would.
He'd have climbed into her tiny car, folded himself into the uncomfortably seat, and gone home with her.
He'd open up to her, tell her everything, let her see the ugly parts of him.
He'd let her hold him, reassure him that he was stillgood.
But he can't.
Hecan'tgo back.
He can't unbreak what he's already broken.
He can only hope that she's willing to let him try and put it back together, piece by piece.
She still hasn't responded when Kojo comes barreling back inside, and Tim sighs as he locks the door and turns off the lights. He climbs into bed without changing, laying on his back, arm in the uncomfortable sling and muscles aching, and sends Lucy one more text message before closing his eyes.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Goodnight, Luce. Sleep well.
The next morning Tim feels like a nervous schoolboy, waiting on the concrete benches outside of the station with coffee and donuts.
It's a beautiful morning, sunny and breezy, and as he watches the flowers and reeds bending in the wind, he remembers the last time they'd sat here together.
It's not worth the risk… right?
Unless it is.
He'd made a promise to her, then, unspoken as it was.
He hates that he's broken it.
"Hey."
Tim looks up, startled, when he hears Lucy's voice.
She's standing in front of him, her hair blowing gently in the wind, her curls loose and wild. Her brown eyes are soft and she's biting her lip nervously, her hands clasped in front of her as she waits.
She's beautiful.
Stunning.
Ethereal.
"Hey," he whispers, scooting over to make room for her next to him. He reaches for her chai while she sits, handing it to her and sucking in a breath when their fingers brush. He glances up to meet her eyes and then away, clearing his throat as her lips, shining with lip gloss, wrap around the lid of the cup to take her first sip. She sighs in contentment, her eyes fluttering closed, and Tim feels warmth bloom unfettered in his chest because he'd made herhappy.
Baby steps.
"Here," he murmurs, handing over the croissant. She takes it but doesn't eat it, resting it on her lap instead. "Do you need… I have Lactate," he says, but Lucy shakes her head.
"No, I just… my stomach."
"Oh," Tim says, frowning. "Are you sick?"
She shakes her head and puts her coffee beside her, curling one foot under her so that she can turn to meet his eyes.
"No, I…"
Tim waits, his panic barely concealed as she bites her lip and considers her words.
"Lucy," he murmurs after what feels likehours."It's okay, you don't have to —"
She pauses him by holding a hand up, though, and he closes his mouth so quickly that his teeth audibly clack.
"I'm just…" she sighs, trailing her eyes slowly up his body until they meet his. "I just need to know… did youmeanwhat you said last night?"
Tim nods without conscious thought.
"Yes."
"You want to make it up to me?"
"Yes, Lucy. I will… god, I'll doanything."
Lucy smiles, reaching for one of his hands. He sucks in a breath when her hand touches his, his stomach clenching and fluttering as she wraps her fingers around his thumb and holds on tightly.
"I just need to know that you meant it. That you'll fight forme.That it's not just because…"
She trails off and Tim has no idea what she means, but he knows one thing for certain.
He turns, angling his body toward her, and clears his throat.
"Lucy, I meant every word. I will doanything.I'll spend the rest of my life — the next forty years, fiftyyears— making it up to you. And I know that you can't trust my words right now and that's okay, that's… that's my fault. But I'm going toshow you.I'm going toshowyou that you can trust me." He pauses and chuckles, one side of his lips turning up into a boyish half smile. "I'm a show-you kind of guy after all, anyway, right?"
Lucy smiles and nods, but there's still something lingering in her gaze that gives Tim pause.
"What is it, Luce?" he murmurs, catching her eyes and holding her gaze as he waits. "Is there… what can I do? What can I say?"
Lucy shakes her head, though, tears pooling in her beautiful brown eyes as she sniffles once.
"No, it's not that, Tim," she whispers, and he nods though he's still hopelessly confused.
"What, then?"
Lucy sighs and shrugs, squeezing his thumb and then dropping her hand back to her lap.
"I just wanted to make sure that you were… that you are in this forme,too. Forus,and not just because…"
Tim nods dumbly as she trails off, not understanding.
"I am," he murmurs softly, his knee brushing hers as he scoots closer. "I fucked up, Lucy. I know I did. I ruined everything. I betrayed your trust. But if you'll give me another chance, I won't take it for granted. I'll prove it to you. I'll show you through my actions and words. I'min this."
Lucy laughs, a choked little noise, and reaches up to brush tears from her eyes as she meets his gaze once more.
"Good," she says, her voice more steady now as she slides her free hand to press against her stomach. "Because I'm pregnant."
Notes:
Omg I was BLOWN AWAY by the response to the first chapter! I'm so glad people are interested in this story, I was worried it was going too similar to others. THANK YOU for the support and love!
Let me know what you think!
Kudos and comments are love. They mean more to us writers than you know!
Chapter 3
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy shares the news that she's pregnant (in what is maybe the most inelegant way possible, unfortunately) and then panics a little bit while Tim stares at her, eyes wide and lips parted, hand and coffee cup frozen mid-air.
She honestly hadn't meant to drop it on himquitelike that, but… well, he'd been so sweet and concerned and it had seemed like a good moment, but now he's notspeakingand she'sfreaking the fuck out.
"Say something," she whispers, her eyes boring into his as she scoots closer on the bench. She reaches out and touches her fingers to his thigh, but he doesn't react even as she brushes her thumb over his jeans. "Tim,please."
She'd laugh if the situation weren't so serious, because she's seen him like this before.
The night that started it all — the night they'd kissed topracticefor undercover.
The night she'd come up with a sexy backstory for them.
He'd stared at her then like he's staring at her now, though the situation is much more serious in this moment than it ever was before.
"I…" he tries, but he has to pause to clear his throat when his voice comes out high and squeaky."Pregnant?"
Lucy nods, biting her lip as she pulls her hand back from his thigh. He quickly puts his coffee down and then grabs her hand with his, holding tightly as he licks his dry lips and sucks in a deep, shuddering breath.
"Yeah," she whispers, swallowing past the lump in her throat as she searches his gaze for any indication of how he's feeling. "I know it… it wasn't planned, and that this is maybe theworstpossible time for this to happen, and it's okay if you're not excited or you don't want to be involved, but—"
Tim cuts her off mid-ramble, scooting closer to her on the bench and pressing their clasped fingers over her lips.
"Lucy, just…"
He trails off and she falls silent, biting her lip to keep the flood of words inside as he processes.
Eventually he speaks, his lips twitching as he tries to fight a smile, and while Lucy can barely concentrate on his words, the sparkle in his eyes says more than enough.
"I'm… I'msurprised,"he begins, and Lucy nods because hell, she had been, too. "But I wouldnever…Lucy, I'dneverabandon you or our baby."
"Okay," she breathes, the word torn from her as he drops her hand so that he can cup her cheek. His thumb, warm and dry, brushes across her cheek, and Lucy knows that anyone walking past can see them but she finds that she just doesn't care.
"I…god,Luce, ababy?"
She nods, fighting her own smile now as Tim finally seems to fully process her words.
"I know it's not… it's not a good time," she murmurs, but Tim just shakes his head as his brain comes fully back online.
"It's not," he agrees, but his expression, the elated smile that erupts over his entire face, betrays his excitement. "But it's… it's agoodthing, right?"
Lucy nods slowly, her stomach churning with excitement (and probably morning sickness, to be honest) as a million different emotions flash across Tim's face.
She sees the exhiliration, but she also seesdespair,and she wants to pry but now that Tim has found his voice, he can't seem tostoptalking.
"I'll be involved however you want me to be," he says, his voice earnest as he drops his hand from her cheek to hover over her stomach. Lucy smiles softly and takes his hand in hers, pressing it over her shirt even though she knows he won't be able to feel anything yet.Shecan't even feel anything yet, with the exception of the nausea that's plagued her for days and the tenderness of her breasts. "I'll-I'll go to appointments, I'll hunt down whatever midnight cravings you have, I'll build the crib and I'll dowhateveryou want me to, Luce. I'min this,okay? I was in it when I was just trying to winyouback, but now that I'm trying to win youandour baby back? I'll doanything.I'll do anything to deserve you."
Lucy smiles, tears in her eyes as Tim drops his forehead against hers.
She'd hoped he would be excited, but his reaction is everything she hadn't dared even hope for and more.
It'sperfect.
"Okay," she whispers again, sniffling and reaching up to wipe at her eyes as Tim pulls back and stares at her with absolute adoration. "Okay, but… slowly, Tim, okay? I'm… youhurt me."
Some of the light in Tim's eyes dims at the reminder that they're broken now, that they're doing this all backwards and that this announcement, this realization that they're having a baby, isn't what either of them had imagined.
She'd had an idea of how it would go in her head since their first date, how they'd take the test together and then cry with happiness when it was positive. She'd imagined him taking her to bed afterward, worshiping her body and kissing her belly and talking to their baby with tears in his eyes.
She'd imagined so many things, but she hadn't ever, in a million years, imagined they'd bebroken up.
"I know," Tim whispers, his expression subdued now as he reaches for and hands her coffee back. She sips at it as she watches him process, as he comes to a decision and meets her gaze again, his expression resolute. "I hurt you, Lucy, and I'm not asking forgiveness for what I did. I'm just asking for a chance. A chance to make it right, to try again and prove to you that I'm worth the effort."
Lucy's heart skips a beat as she remembers his words all those months ago, when they'd been standing on the precipice of whatever this is.
You deserve someone who's worth the effort.
She wants nothing more than to launch herself into his arms, to kiss him and tell him heisworth the effort.
She wants to tell him she loves him, that she neverstoppedloving him.
She wants him to hold her, to kiss her, to cradle her body in his strong arms the way she'd loved so much during their time together.
But she doesn't.
Slowly,she reminds herself, because it's not justheranymore.
It's not justherheart she has to protect.
"You can come with me to the first appointment," she murmurs, and she sees his face light up again as she invites him to such a momentous occasion. "I called my doctor on the way here, and she fit me in this Friday at noon."
"I'll switch shifts so I can be there," Tim promises, nodding. "I'll be there, no matter what, Lucy. I promise."
"Okay," she whispers, nodding. "That's a start, then. We can… we can start there."
"I'll show you I mean it," Tim says, his blue eyes intense as he stares deeply into her eyes. "I'll show you, little by little, that I'm changing. I… I'm looking for a new therapist. Gray said he'd talk to Luna and get some recommendations. For someone who's not, you know, a dirty cop."
Lucy snorts despite the fact that Dr. London being dirty isn't actually very funny at all.
It'sironic,yes, that Tim had spent 40 years denying therapy and then, the second he decides to get help, his therapist turns out to be evil.
It's not funny at all, but the way he says it, deadpan and dry, makes her laugh.
"That's a good start," she says, hiding her smile behind her coffee cup. "And Tim… can you… can you ask her to find someone who takes individualsandcouples? I think it could help us work on our communication."
Tim nods wordlessly and they both trail off, simply staring at each other as the weight of everything said this morning settles over them.
They know their time together is coming to an end, that they both need to make their way inside to begin changing for shift, but neither of them wants to move, to destroy the little bubble of hope they've created in the same space that they'd decided to first take a chance.
Eventually they have to, though.
Tim is the first to stand, and Lucy watches as he places his coffee cup down before reaching out with his good hand, the one not in the sling.
An offering.
She smiles and takes it, lets him pull her to her feet.
"See you after shift," she murmurs, and Tim nods as he picks his coffee back up and walks beside her into the building, a careful foot of space between them.
Lucy changes into uniform, spending probably longer than is necessary marveling at the fact that her stomach is still perfectly flat, no indication that there's ababygrowing inside of her, and then slides into roll call with only a few moments to spare.
"We have a few new faces joining us this morning," Gray announces, and Lucy perks up, curious, as he turns his gaze toward the front table where there are, in fact, two new officers sitting. "Officer Juarez has just completed her six month exam and will be graduating to short sleeves, and the Academy has sent us a few mid-year rookies. Officers Herndon and Janes, please stand."
Lucy watches, eyes wide, as a young man and woman stand. The young man looks like he's barely graduated high school, floppy hair and freckles and a smile far too wide. The woman looks a little older, maybe early thirties, and has long, curly blonde hair and bright green eyes.
"After six months together in the Academy, you've earned the right to be here. But you'll have to prove yourself to stay," he begins, and Lucy's lips twitch into a smile as she remembers him uttering those words toherall those years ago. "The way we do things matters. Protocol and tradition are the metal from which every cop in this city is forged. Understand?"
The two new officers nod and chorus, "Yes, sir!" as Grey watches them with what Lucy now knows is a sparkle of excitement in his eyes.
"All right, sit down. It's time to play the Training Officer match game, though things are a little … unsettled on that front, and you can expect to work under several training officers during your twelve months of training. First up, we have Officer Herndon," he begins, and Lucy watches as the young man sits up a little straighter in his chair. "Who is the polar opposite of Nolan and was theyoungestcadet ever to graduate from the Academy. You scare me, son, considering the fact that you were still wearing diapers while I was already patrolling the streets. To that end, you will be starting out with Officer Wrigley, who will give you acalmintroduction to being an Officer. After a few months, hopefully, we'll move you on to a new training officer who has a little more… spice."
Sergeant Gray turns and stares directly at Lucy as he says this, and she pauses, Chai latte halfway to her lips as he winks at her.
He doesn't linger, though, and Lucy is left to be confused in silence as he moves on.
"Officer Alicia Janes, you will be training under our most seasoned Training Officer, who stepped away from being a TO for a while but is now back. Don't expect his brief vacation from training to mean he'll take it any easier on you, however. Tim Bradford, you get Officer Janes. Try not to wash this one out, please. She shows promise."
Lucy glances back at where Tim is sitting, arms crossed over his chest, her eyes wide as she takes in the way he simply nods as if this isn't news to him.
He's atraining officeragain?
Gray continues speaking but Lucy is distracted, an unfamiliar feeling swirling in her belly as she glances between Tim and his new rookie.
Shewas supposed to be his last.
God, she feels like she's going to throw up.
Roll call dismisses a few moments later and Tim stands, throws a smile in her direction, and then turns toward his new Rookie.
"Boot!" he calls, and Lucy feels something likejealousyflash through her veins as he directs the word at someone who isn't her. "Go set up the shop! I'll be there in ten minutes, and it had better be perfect."
Officer Janes scurries to obey, and then Tim walks over to where Lucy has yet to rise from her seat.
He trails his fingers across her back, a subtle, simple movement, and then leans down to whisper, "Be safe today."
Lucy nods but doesn't respond as she watches him walk off in the direction his new boot had gone.
Notes:
1. There are treats for anyone who catches the several pieces of foreshadowing I put into this chapter.
2. I had this fic set up so only registered users could comment, which I DID NOT mean to do! A03 now sets fics up that way automatically, but I fixed it so ANYONE can comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and kudos and comments keep the muse happy.
Chapter 4
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim runs Officer Janes through the usual check of the shop before beginning their shift, but try as he might, he can't force himself to be as present as he usually is.
Usually there's arushwhen he has a new rookie, anexcitementthat's unparalleled. The excitement of training someone new, of getting to shape them and teach them the way that thingsshouldbe done, not the way they're told to do things in the Academy.
And the excitement is there, of course, it's just buried under the unbridled, all-consumingjoythat he hasn't been able to tamper down since Lucy had whispered those two simple, life-changing words.
I'm pregnant.
In short, he'sdistracted,and it doesn't help that he sees Lucyeverywhere.
There's movement in the corner of his eye and he smiles, turning toward his passenger expecting to seeher.
But there's blonde curls that should be dark, green eyes when he should see Lucy's deep, soulful brown ones, and a crushing sense of disappointment as reality settles over him when he remembersoh, yeah, Lucy isn't riding with me anymore because I ruined our relationship.
Officer Janes is a perfectly fine rookie so far, of course.
She hasn't fumbled a single question he's thrown at her, and she doesn't seem ruffled by his prickly persona.
He's a big softie,he remembers Lucy saying, and he clears his throat and tightens his hands on the wheel as they pull up to their first crime scene.
He has tofocus.
"All right, Officer Janes," he says, unbuckling his belt and opening his shop door. "Dispatch called this in as a 459. Tell me the difference between a 211 and a 459."
Officer Janes clambers out of the shop and runs to keep up with his long legs. She tucks an errant strand of blonde hair behind her ear as she catches up to him, and Tim makes a note to remind her that her hair should be secured out of her face at all times.
"A 211 is a robbery and a 459 is a burglary," she says confidently, and Tim nods.
"Right," he says, voice firm. "But I did not ask you what theywere,Officer Janes, I asked you what thedifferencewas."
She flounders for a second as Tim holds open the door for her, and he can see her thinking as she walks through, her lips moving silently as she tries to recall the difference between the two basic crimes.
"Study your rook book tonight, Officer," he snaps, because she should have this memorized by now.
Lucyhad.
"The key difference is that a burglary involves entering a home or establishment illegally with the intent to steal, whereas a robbery involves taking property from a person through threats or fear of harm. Our current call is classified as a burglary because someone broke in during the night and merchandise was taken. No one was present or harmed. If you miss the next question I ask, I'll write up a blue page on you."
"Y-yes, sir," she stammers, and Tim sighs as he walks toward the counter of the store, one of those hippy-dippy, natural-remedies places that he used to mock.
Lucy wouldlovethis place,he thinks, and he makes a note to bring her here sometime as he approaches the owner.
"Good morning, ma'am," he greets her, and he offers her a smile as she wrings her hands nervously. She's older, her hair streaked with grey and her eyes tired and worn. "I'm Sergeant Tim Bradford, and we're here in response to a call you made about a break in?"
The woman nods and walks out from behind the counter. Tim watches her carefully, noting the dried tear tracks on her cheeks and the way her eyes are still wet and red. He slouches down a little bit to put himself more on her level, and channels his 'inner softie', as Lucy had so delicately put it, as he tries to put her at ease.
"Officer Janes and I are going to be collecting statements and canvassing, and my friend Detective Lopez will be here soon to begin the investigation. Do you have any idea who might have done this?"
Angela walks in just as the woman is tearfully finishing her story, and Tim waves her over.
"This is my friend I was telling you about," he says, winking at the woman. "She's pretty good at her job."
Angela rolls her eyes and punches him in the shoulder playfully. "Justpretty good,Bradford?"
Tim chuckles and the owner of the store finally cracks a smile.
"We can't let your head get too big, Lopez," he warns. "But ma'am, I promise you're in good hands. Now, Detective, how can my rookie and I assist you?"
Angela sweeps her eyes across the store, her eyes lighting up when they land on his newest rookie.
"She's pretty," she comments, but Tim just shrugs.
Sure, she's attractive.
He'd have to beblindnot to notice.
But it's not like he'slooking.
"I guess," he says, shrugging. "But she's incompetent. I asked her the difference between a 211 and a 459. She couldn't tell me."
Angela winces and very obviously stares at Officer Janes, her eyes assessing the younger woman.
"Yeah, that's not a good look fresh out of the Academy. For herorfor them."
Tim grunts in agreement and then sighs, resting his hands on his utility belt.
"Yeah. So, this one may wash out sooner rather than later if she doesn't take her studying seriously. She has the right temperament — she's quiet in the shop, and not much seems to ruffle her. But we'll see how she does later this morning with her first Tim Test."
Angela snorts inelegantly and rolls her eyes.
"I can't wait to hear about it. For now, though, can you and your Rook canvas up and down the strip? See if there are any working security cameras, if anyone was open that time of night?"
Tim nods sharply, once. "On it, Detective."
Angela smiles and turns toward the shop owner and Tim drops his arms from his utility belt, turning toward his rookie.
"Officer Janes! Come on! We have work to do."
She scurries to follow him, and Tim grins, sauntering on ahead with a plan in mind for how he's going to test her after they're done canvassing.
He's almost out of the store when he sees the display, and he remembers Genny saying something several years ago about ginger helping when she was nauseous.
Lucy.
He reaches for a pack of the ginger chews, turning them over to read the back. They claim to be all natural and helpful for a variety of issues, including morning sickness.
"Huh," he murmurs, and he knows he should come back later when he doesn't have a rookie and a best friend watching him, but then he remembers the look on Lucy's face when he'd passed her the chocolate croissant this morning and he finds himself turning back toward the register, the candies clasped tightly in his hand.
"Can I buy these?"
Officer Janes doesn't ask about the ginger candies until much later.
"Are you, uh, are you not feeling well, sir?" she asks, motioning toward the bag sitting innocently between the seats.
Tim turns to her, one eyebrow raised, and then back toward the street.
"What exactly have I done this morning, Officer Janes," he begins, clearing his throat and straightening up in his seat. "To give you the indication that I'm inanyway interested in talking about my personal life with you?"
She swallows and opens her mouth to respond, but Tim isn't finished.
"There is no personal talk in the shop, Boot.Ever.Got it?"
"Yes, sir," she whispers, but despite her claim to understand, she's opening her mouth to asksomething else,and Tim decides that this is as good a time as any to test her geographical knowledge of their hometown.
He steadies himself and then slams on the breaks, his lips curling into a smile as Officer Janes squeaks in surprise and pitches forward, her seatbelt the only thing keeping her from face planting into the dashboard.
"Where are you, boot?!"he cries, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back his amusement as she turns toward him, eyes wide and panicked.
"W-what? Sir,what?"
"I'm bleeding out and you have to call for help! Where are you?!"
"Um, uh—"
She turns in her seat, looking for a street sign or any other landmark that will give her an idea of where they're at, but just like all the rookies that came before her (with the notable exception of Jackson), she draws a blank.
"Where are you?" he asks one more time, his tone commanding and stern.
He gives her a few more seconds and then sits back in his seat, one side of his mouth curling into a smirk.
"Now I'm dead, and it's your fault. Get out."
Tim pulls the shop slowly into a parking space outside of the food trucks, his new Boot still walking behind the shop, her face red and the wayward strands of hair that had fallen out of her bun earlier now stuck to her face with sweat.
He'd tossed her a water bottle about twenty minutes ago, but it's not his fault she has almost no knowledge of downtown LA.
He parks the shop and climbs out, stretching languidly as Officer Janes comes to a stop in front of him, lips set in a thin line and green eyes murderous.
"You're buying," he says casually, and then he walks off toward the table he sees Lucy and Aaron at, dropping down into one of the seats with a smile on his face.
Lucy raises her eyebrows, and despite the fact that she's trying not to grin, her twinkling eyes betray her amusement.
"Ah, the Tim Tests have returned," she murmurs, and he chuckles as his eyes flicker toward where his sweaty boot is standing in line at the taco truck.
"It's not my fault she doesn't know her armpit from her knee," he says, and Aaron chokes on a taco as he tries to hold in his laughter. "She's been walking for an hour and a half."
Lucy smirks.
Tim continues, his tone light and his words meant for Lucy as he says, "Only took you twenty minutes."
He watches as she preens under the praise, the sun dancing across her face as she leans back in her chair, her hands clasped together and laying across her stomach. He remembers the ginger chews he'd shoved in his pocket before exiting the shop, and leans in to whisper to her as he notices her full tray of food.
"Not feeling good?" he asks, his voice low.
Lucy catches his eye and shakes her head minutely, biting her lip as she eyes her almost untouched tacos.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls the bag out, passing it to her under the table so that Aaron won't notice. She glances down at the ginger candies as her fingers dance across the label, and then smiles at him, her eyes soft as she watches him from under her lashes.
"Thanks," she whispers, and he nods as he leans back, eyes closing as he lets the sun wash over his face. He hears Lucy unwrap and pop one of the candies into her mouth, and he basks in the knowledge that he's made her smile twice in one day now.
Baby steps,he reminds himself.
"Here you go, sir."
He opens his eyes when his rookie drops a tray of tacos in front of him, and he has to give her credit — fish tacos are, without question, the best.
"See you after lunch," he says, and he waits until she's sitting at a table with her rookie buddy before he turns to see Aaron and Lucy staring at him. "What?"
"Nothing, sir," Aaron says, shrugging as he polishes off the last of his tacos before noticing Lucy's almost untouched ones. He points to them and then to himself, and when Lucy nods, reaches for the basket.
Tim nearly slaps his hand as he steals Lucy's food, his eyebrows scrunched together as he frowns, but he refrains.
"We just didn't know you were going to be a training officer again, that's all," Lucy says, sighing as she reaches for her lemonade. She takes a small sip, and Tim watches her carefully.
He knows she feels sick, but she has toeat.
Maybe he can bring her dinner tonight after shift. Soup, or something else that will be easy on her stomach.
"I didn't know, either," he says, shrugging as he piles pickled onion onto his taco before biting into it. "Gray called me after I got home last night, said we had a fresh batch of rookies coming in and he needed me. I feel sorry for Herndon, though, being stuck with Wrigley."
Aaron chuckles as he scarfs down Lucy's tacos, and a hush falls over them as Tim continues to eat.
He's not even finished with his second taco when Lucy and Aaron are called out, though, and as he watches them toss their trash and climb back into their shop, he sighs.
"Be careful," he murmurs to himself as his heart drives off without him.
"Let me cook for you tonight."
Lucy turns to glance at Tim as he falls into step beside her after shift. Their paperwork is done and the rookies have been sent home for a scant few hours of sleep before their second shift, and he's just finished reporting to Gray about how Officer Janes had done.
Lucy hums but doesn't respond, and Tim waits nervously as they round a corner and come out into the bullpen.
"My stomach..." she begins, and he nods as he cuts her off.
"Doesn't feel good, I know. I noticed you didn't eat breakfast or lunch, but uou need to eatsomething.I… I researched some, while Officer Janes was doing our paperwork. I found some recipes that you might be able to eat. At least, there were a lot of good review from… you know, people who… have…"
He trails off, unsure how to phrase the rest of his sentence without outright sayingpeople who have morning sicknessin the middle of the station.
Lucy seems to understand, though, and places a hand on his arm to cut off his rambling.
"That's sweet," she says, and he offers her a boyish grin as he shrugs.
"It wasn't a problem," he murmurs.
She stares at him for a long moment, considering, and Tim waits with his heart in his throat.
Is it too fast? Should he have just said goodbye and gone home? She'd just told him she'd give him a second chance this morning, and he doesn't want to push her too far, too fast.
"Okay," she finally whispers, nodding. And then, "Will Kojo be there? I miss my boy."
Tim chuckles and nods.
"Yes, the boy will be there. How about seven? I need to go shopping for some ingredients."
Lucy nods, and she's opening her mouth to respond when Gray pokes his head out of his office, scans the bullpen, and then catches her eye.
"Chen!" he calls. "My office!"
Tim offers her a sympathetic smile and a shrug.
"Seven," he reminds her, and she smiles and nods before turning and jogging toward Gray.
Tim watches her until she closes the Watch Commander's office door behind herself, and then heads to change out.
"Hey."
Tim raises an eyebrow as Officer Janes rushes to catch the elevator. She slides in beside him just as the door is closing, and Tim takes a moment to observe her out of uniform. She's pretty, as Angela had said, her hair wavy and free, her eyes sparkling, and she's wearing a lowcut sundress that, in the past, would have drawn his eyes to her cleavage.
Now, though, he gives her a professional once over and then turns his attention back to the now-closed elevator doors.
"Officer Janes," he greets.
She laughs and bumps her shoulder into his.
"We're off the clock. It's just Alicia now."
Tim frowns, internally sighing.
It's not the first time one of his rookies has had a hard time keeping things professional, and he's sure it won't be the last. But itisthe first time it's happened while he's trying to patch things up with his estranged, pregnant girlfriend, and hecannotlet there be any doubt as to his intentions.
"It's still Officer Janes, and it willbeOfficer Janes until you graduate the FTO program," he says, lips pressed into a thin line as he meets her gaze briefly. "I am Sergeant Bradford to you, and there is no personal talk in the shop."
Officer Janes raises one eyebrow. "We're notinthe shop right now,sir."
Tim's frown deepens as he takes a step away from her.
"The rule extends to anywhere my person is, and we are not having this conversation."
The elevator doors open and Tim moves forward quickly, his strides long as he heads toward his truck without another word to the younger woman.
He knows he'll have no trouble putting Officer Janes in her place — he's had to do it more than once, and if he can't keep things between them professional, he'll ask Gray to give him the baby cop instead.
It's notthatpart that he's worried about.
It'sLucy.
She'd been jealous of Katie Barnes when Tim had been training her, and he knows that, with pregnancy hormones on board, hecannotallow her to see his rookie flirting with him like this.
He'll just have to keep whatever's happening under wraps until he makes Officer Janes understand in no uncertain terms that he is off limits.
Notes:
Idk if this update speed will continue, but I DO know what motivates me. Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
Chapter 5
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy watches as Tim disappears around the corner to the locker rooms, and then turns and closes Sergeant Grey's office door behind her.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
Grey nods, templing his hands under his chin as he observes her from across the room.
"You and Sergeant Bradford seem to be on better terms," he observes, and Lucy flushes as she rememberswhythey're suddenly talking andtryingin a way they haven't been over the past few weeks.
"Yes, sir," she acknowledges, entwining her fingers behind her back to keep herself from touching her belly. She's only known about the baby for 24 hours, but she already can't seem to stop marveling at the fact that there's ahuman lifeinside of her. "We're … talking again."
It's not the whole truth, but it istrue.
Theyaretalking, trying to work things out for the sake of their child.
"Good. I was worried I was going to have to transfer him to West Hollywood for the sake of the entire station. We can't handle the moping, Chen, so whatever you're doing, keep it up."
Lucy chuckles, fighting a smile as she nods. "Yes, sir. Will do. Is that why you wanted to see me?"
Grey shakes his head and leans forward in his chair.
"No, I have something else I'd like to speak to you about. Please, take a seat."
He motions toward the chairs in front of his desk, and Lucy frowns, pulling one out quickly as she meets Grey's eyes across the desk. He seems serious, his lips pressed into a thin line and his gaze unwavering as he watches her.
"I want you to become a Training Officer," he says without preamble, leaning back in his seat and settling his clasped hands on his stomach.
"I— come again?" Lucy squeaks, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as she leans forward.
Becausesurelyshe heard Sergeant Grey wrong.
Her?
Atraining officer?
Absurd.
"I failed the detectives exam, though," she whispers, shaking her head. She drops her gaze from Grey's, biting her lip as she shrugs. "Why … why would you wantmetraining rookies?"
Grey leans forward, his gaze piercing when she finally glances back up to meet his eyes.
"You didn'tfail,Officer Chen. In fact, on the written portion, you placedfirst.The only reason you got seventeenth place, to my understanding, is because of the officer who took offense to your meddling, and that tells me two very important things. Number one, you're damn smart and you'reexactlywho I want training my rookies. Number two, you fiercely love and care for your people. I know you did that five player trade for Tim, but I have no doubt that you would have set things in motion foranyof the people you love. That tells me you're smart, dedicated, and loyal —everythingI want in a training officer. We would beluckyto have you as part of the FTO program."
Lucy leans back in her chair, eyes wide and lips parted.
She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, and her heart hammers in her chest as Grey's words echo in her head.
Smart, dedicated, loyal.
She doesn't often believe those things about herself, but hearing thatSergeant Greybelieves them about her?
She's inshock.
"I…" she whispers, and she shakes her head because thewhydoesn't matter so much right now. More importantly …"How?The exam isn't for another thirteen months, sir."
Grey smiles as he leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk in front of him.
"Allof the LAPD is currently hurting for training officers, every single station. The number of rookies graduating the Academy is currentlymuchhigher than the number of qualified training officers, so they're approving an emergency exam for next month and fast tracking qualified officers through the process. The hope is to have the next group of TOs trained and ready to begin after the current rookie class graduates in six months.Myhope is to haveyouready to take over Officer Herndon's training within the next six to eight weeks. I know you're smart, and I know you can be ready to take the exam before next month. I just need to know if this is something you'd want."
Lucy sits back in her chair, flabbergasted.
"I… Iaminterested, sir," she says, but then immediately winces.
She's interested, yes, but she's alsopregnant.
She'll be on desk duty within the next six months, easily, and then out for maternity leave for eight weeks after that.
Shit.
"You paused, Officer Chen. Tell me what's on your mind."
Lucy glances up at Grey and offers him a small smile that doesn't really reach her eyes.
"I'm sorry, sir, I just… there are some… personal issues to consider. I'm not saying no, but… can I have some time to think about it?"
Grey nods and then stands, and Lucy scrambles to follow suit. She watches, biting her lip, as Grey reaches into his desk and pulls out a stack of books.
"You have thirty two days before the exam. Take all of the time you want, but start studying in the meantime. It can't hurt to have the knowledge even if you decide not to go for it. But, Lucy, there's one more thing."
Lucy makes a noise to indicate that she's listening, but she can't find words to respond to Grey verbally.
She's overwhelmed, shocked that he wants her to do this, and torn because she's not sure she logically and logisticallycan.
"One of the requirements for the fast track is to spend a week shadowing a qualified Training Officer. And I would like that Training Officer to be Sergeant Bradford. Officer Nolan is …"
He trails off and Lucy has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.
Nolan has a good heart, she knows, but it's been six months and Officer Juarez still has a LOT to learn.
"I understand, sir, and… and that wouldn't be an issue."
Grey raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. "If you're sure…"
"Like you said, sir, we're doing better now. We'll be okay, and we will keep it professional. You know, if I decide to go for it."
Grey nods, and then motions toward the door of his office.
"Think it over, Officer. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns, and if you decide to take it, I'll get you on the list ASAP."
"Thank you, sir," Lucy murmurs. She offers him one last smile of thanks, and then walks out of his office quickly, her head full and her heart aching.
Shefinallyhas a realistic prospect for upward movement, and the best thing in her life, the little lifeshe'screated, may be the thing that stops her from going for it.
She makes it all the way to Tim's without coming to any definite conclusions.
She knows she could take the test and be ready to begin training Officer Herndon within six weeks, and that she could stay with him up until she's forced onto maternity leave, which would hopefully be at her eighth month or later. By then, Nolan would be done training Officer Juarez, and he could take over the rest of Herndon's training while she's on maternity leave.
"And," she tells Tim as he shoves a smoothie into her hands and forces her to take a long sip."And,I could be back from maternity leave by the time the new batch of rookies is even ready for their six month exam.Oh my godthis is delicious. Whatis it?"
Tim chuckles fondly as he leans against the counter, a dish towel thrown over his shoulder as he watches her with a small smirk playing on his lips.
"It's a coconut water and banana smoothie. There's honey, oatmeal, and ginger in there, too. It's supposed to be really hydrating and easy on your stomach."
Lucy takes another long sip through the straw, waiting a moment after swallowing to see how it's going to settle.
Tim cock his head to the side, waiting, and when she smiles, he smiles, too.
"Good?"
"Mmm," she hums, already going back for more.
"You must be starving," Tim murmurs, pushing off of the counter to approach her. He sets out the bottle of coconut water he'd used for the smoothie and pushes it close to her, encouraging her to drink it, too. "And probably dehydrated. Did you eatanythingtoday?"
Lucy shakes her head guiltily, wincing at the reminder.
"No, I just felt sonauseous.I know I have to eat, I just…"
Tim whips the towel off of his shoulder and uses it to take a pan off of the stove. Lucy watches as he stirs the soup, sprinkling in a little salt, pepper, and nutmeg into it as he does.
"It's okay," he says, glancing up at her briefly before turning back to the food he's preparing. "I'll bring you a smoothie in the morning, too."
Lucy melts a little bit as she sips on the drink he'd made for her the second she'd walked into his house. "You don't have to do that," she whispers, even though the thought of him bringing her a smoothie every morning makes her belly warm with happiness.
"I want to," he murmurs. He lifts the spoon and holds it out, one hand underneath it to catch any drops. "Here, try this."
Lucy leans forward and lets him feed her the dark orange soup, humming as the various flavors explode across her tongue.
She moans a little bit at the taste, and she's not afraid to admit it.
Tim grins, cocky and smug.
"Yeah?"
Lucy nods and licks her lips, chasing the savory, salty taste.
"Yes.What is it?"
"It's butternut, carrot, and ginger soup. The website said it has a ton of nutrients and it stores and reheats easily, so I can package the leftovers up for you. It should be gentle on your stomach, too."
Lucy sighs in happiness as she watches Tim dip two bowls of the soup and bring them to the table. He guides Lucy to her chair with a hand on the small of her back, and doesn't start eating until she does.
Neither of them speak much for the next few minutes minutes, Lucy too busy devouring the first thing she's been able to eat in over twenty four hours and Tim too busy watching her. Eventually, though, her spoon scrapes the bottom of the bowl and she sits back, full and content.
"So, do you think I should do it?" she asks.
Tim pushes his bowl away and rests his elbows on the table, his gaze not wavering from hers.
"Yes," he says simply. "I do. I think you'd beamazing.Eventually we'll have to tell Gray about the pregnancy, anyway, so it might as well be now. I honestly don't think it'll hurt your chances of being considered. Headmiresyou, Lucy, and he will be willing to work around your maternity leave. Wrigley can step in once you're out, take Janes off of my hands for a while, and I can take a turn with Herndon. We can play Training Officer roulette, swap them around so that they get everyone's expertise."
Lucy hums, nodding in agreement as she thinks about Tim's new rookie.
"How is she?" she asks, sipping at her smoothie as her eyes drop away from Tim's. He makes a soft noise of confusion, and Lucy clarifies, "Your new rookie. Officer Janes."
"Oh," he says, and Lucy glances up just long enough to see him settle back in his chair, his posture a little rigid. No one else would notice, she doesn't think, butshedoes. "She's fine, but nothing like my last rookie."
Lucy smiles despite herself, twirling her straw around in her mostly empty smoothie cup.
"You mean Officer Barnes?"
Tim rolls his eyes playfully."No,Luce. I meanyou."
Lucy grins, her cheeks heating up at the inherent praise in his voice.
"So, she's just…fine?"
Tim raises an eyebrow. "She needs to study her rook book. She didn't know the difference between a 211 and a 459 today. But she's good under pressure and doesn't let much bother her. She might make a good cop, as long as she studies and focuses."
Lucy hums and puts her glass down, her hands falling to her lap. She plays with her own fingers nervously as she tries to squash her own insecurities.
"She's pretty," she eventually murmurs, the words torn from her throat without her permission.
Tim hums in consideration, and Lucy knows he's trying to meet her eyes but she can't make herself look up.
"Yes, and?"
Lucy shrugs.
She doesn'twantto compare herself to Tim's new rookie, but it's hard not to. This new girl is tall and skinny, blonde and preppy. She reminds Lucy of Isabel, of Ashley, and she doesn't know if it's the hormones from the pregnancy or the insecurity from the breakup, but she hasn't been able to quiet the niggling sense of doubt all day.
"Lucy, look at me."
Lucy startles a little when she glances up, because Tim is no longer in his seat. He's crouched in front of her, reaching for her hands. She lets him take them into his, and she feels a little stupid as she meets his gaze, watery brown eyes meeting brilliant blue.
Stupidhormones.
She's been battling them since before the breakup, she now knows, and it's nice to knowwhyshe suddenly can't keep her emotions in check.
"She may be pretty, butyouare gorgeous. Every time I turn in my seat and look at her, I think howwrongit is that there aren't beautiful brown eyes staring back at me, or I thinkhuh, her curls are the wrong color.You are the one I want next to me, every day. But because… because we're doingthis,because we're having a baby, I can't have you in the shop with me."
"I know," Lucy whispers, sniffing.
Tim stares at her with love and concern shining in his eyes, and Lucy knows that he means every word he's saying.
"But I get you in mylife,which is infinitely better. I get a second chance. And Lucy, I won't risk that chance foranything,anddefinitelynot for a leggy blonde who can't even tell me what a 459 is."
Lucy laughs and then clears her throat, taking a second to get her emotions under control. She blows out a breath and then nods, meeting Tim's eyes again as he brushes his warm, dry thumb across her knuckles.
"Are we good?" he asks.
"Yeah, Tim. We're good. And… and thank you for dinner, and the ginger candies, and the smoothie. You're taking such good care of me."
Tim grins a toothy grin, his eyes sparkling.
"Baby steps, right?" he asks, and she nods.
She wants to lurch forward and kiss him senseless, but she holds herself back.
"Baby steps," she agrees softly.
Notes:
I know it seems like Tim is suddenly like 100% better, but DON'T YOU WORRY, we get some of his POV on things next chapter and in the coming chapters as he processes the fact that, if he hadn't broken up with Lucy, this pregnancy would be going VERY differently.
Let me know what you think! Kudos and comments feed my soul. Leave me a little something to wake up to on my first day of Summer School tomorrow!
Chapter 6
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Today is Lucy's first ultrasound appointment, and Tim is excited.
He's alsolate,which is way more important than his excitement because he'd promised Lucy he'd be there and hecannotbreak another promise to her.
Hecannotlet her down again.
"Donotleave this diner until I come to pick you up. Sit, eat fries, and study your rook book."
Officer Janes nods, eyes wide, and Tim glares at her one final time just to make sure she knows he's serious as he backs out of the diner. He knows that Officer Herndon will be here soon, too, considering that Wrigleyalwaysdrops his rookies off at the dinfer so that he can go home and eat mac and cheese in his undies. So, it's not like he'sabandoningher, and besides, he'll be back soon.
"Stay," he says one final time, not unlike he'd command Kojo, and then he's turning and basically jogging back to the shop, phone in one hand as he simultaneously texts and backs out of his parking spot.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I'm on my way, Luce. I couldn't get my shift covered, but I dropped Janes off at Wrigley's diner and am using lights and sirens. I'll be there soon.
He's notactuallyusing lights and sirens, but heisspeeding.
It's already 12:07, and while he knows that doctor's offices always run behind, he also knows that heshould have been there.
Lucy responds as he's sitting impatiently at a red light just around the corner.
It's always been easy to read her, even though text message.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Okay.
She's mad.
Tim sighs and parks the shop before jumping out, still in full uniform, to jog into the building. He takes the elevator to the fifth floor and skids to a stop in front of the receptionist's desk at 12:16 pm.
"Lucy… Chen," he gasps, out of breath in a way he'll never admit to anyone. "I'm here for Lucy. Is she already…?"
The woman turns to her computer, unconcerned with the fact that Tim is sweaty, out of breath, andclearlyin a hurry.
"And you are…?"
"Tim Bradford. I'm on all her paperwork," he says, directing the full force of his TO glare her way. "What room is she in?"
The receptionist looks up, pops her gum between her teeth, and then says, "Through the door and to the left. Room 7."
Tim doesn't bother thanking her. He just turns and hurries down the hallway, his eyes scanning the doors until he stops outside of the one Lucy is in. It's cracked open a few inches, but he knocks anyway.
"Lucy?"
"In here, Tim."
She doesn't soundtoomad, at least.
"Hey," he murmurs, smiling cautiously as he walks inside. She's sitting on the edge of the bed, her doctor in front of her and her pants already off and folded on the chair next to her. There's a sheet covering her lap, and Tim winces internally because whatever is happening that requires her pants to be off can't be pleasant.
"We were just finishing up with Lucy's symptoms. Everything seems normal so far, no cause for concern. If the morning sickness continues, though, I can prescribe something for it. I'm Dr. Kovac, by the way. Nice to meet you."
Tim introduces himself and shakes her hand before quickly moving to stand by Lucy's side, his hand falling to the bed to lay over hers. She turns and smiles up at him, her eyes a little guarded but still sparkling with happiness, and Tim wants to lean down and kiss her the way he would have only a few weeks ago, but he knows that he shouldn't.
Everything atherpace.
"Thanks for coming," she whispers.
Tim nods, brushing his thumb over her knuckles as he responds, "Of course, Luce. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
"Is this dad?" Dr. Kovac asks, and Lucy nods as she turns back toward the other woman.
Tim nods, too, though his throat is suddenly thick and his eyes misty as he registers her words.
Dad.
He's someone'sdadnow.
"Yeah," he whispers, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat. "Yeah, I am."
Lucy turns to glance up at him, and Tim thinks that, if he hadn't broken up with her, this would be one of the best moments of his life.
And it stillis,in a way, because they're having ababy.
But it's not what itshould be.
They should have come to this appointment together.
They should bein thistogether.
But instead he hasn't seen her since Tuesday when they last had a shift together and he doesn't know how she's been feeling. He doesn't know if she felt sick this morning or if she's feeling better, he doesn't know if she's having any cravings, and he hasn't had the chance to caress her belly and talk to their baby.
Hehates it.
It's all his fault, of course.
Hedid this to them.
But it still hurts.
"Ready, Lucy?"
Tim tunes back into reality just as Lucy is laying back on the table and scooting her ass toward the edge. Tim raises an eyebrow, not sure what's happening as Dr. Kovac helps her position her feet in the stirrups and pushes the sheet covering her lap up toward her knees.
"This may be cold," she murmurs, and Tim has a flash of horrifying realization as she lifts up a long, white wand covered in lube.
"Oh,"he whispers, and both women laugh at him as he eyes the wand with a wince.
"You're early enough in your pregnancy that we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound today. We can see better this way, get a nice, good look at baby."
Tim nods, holding tightly to Lucy's hand as Dr. Kovac inserts the wand into her vagina. Lucy winces and arches her back a little bit as he tries to find a more comfortable position, squeezing his fingers as the doctor murmurs her apologies.
"You okay?" Tim asks quietly, and Lucy nods as she blows out a long, slow breath.
"Yeah. It doesn't hurt, exactly, it just feels… weird."
Timwantsto make a crack about how the wand isn't much bigger thanheis, but he doesn't think Lucy would find him very funny right now. Besides, the wand is cold and hard andnotin the fun way.
"It'll be worth it in just a second, mama," Dr. Kovac says, smiling as she turns a screen toward them. "I've just about found…ah, ha! There's baby!"
Tim stares, mouth wide open, as the screen flickers and then slowly comes into grainy focus.
"It looks like a real baby!" he says in wonder, and Lucy laughs wetly, tears in her own eyes as she watches the screen.
"Yes, it sure does," Dr. Kovac agrees, nodding as she begins to take some measurements. "You're further along than we anticipated, Lucy. We were expecting you to be around 6 or 7 weeks, when baby doesn't look like much more than a blob, but… I'm seeing arm and legs buds, a well formed head, and the umbilical cord. See here? Nice and thick, good attachment. And here you can see…"
She continues talking, but Tim doesn't hear much of what she's saying as he watches the little baby-shaped blob on the screen move around. It's active, little feet and arms waving and kicking.
"Can you feel anything?" Tim asks, curious, but Lucy just shakes her head.
Dr. Kovac chuckles as she freezes the screen, dragging the mouse across to take a measurement of the baby from head to rump.
"No, Lucy won't be able to feel anything for another ten weeks or so. At this point, baby is measuring right at an inch and a half. About the size of a strawberry."
Tim chokes on his own spit as he looks from the screen to Lucy's belly and then back up.
"Astrawberry?"
Dr. Kovac nods, smiling as she unfreezes the screen.
"Yes, and they weigh about a fourth of an ounce. They won't be big enough for Lucy to feel until about twenty weeks."
"How far alongamI?" Lucy inquires, and Dr. Kovac pauses as she types a few notes into the computer.
"Based on baby's size, I'd put you right around 10 weeks."
Tim counts back in his head and flushes when he realizes when their baby was most likely conceived.
"The wedding," Lucy whispers, and Tim nods in agreement. "When we…oh."
Their baby had been conceived in a bathroom at Nolan's wedding, theone timethey hadn't used protection.
He'sneverliving this down.
Lucy giggles and turns her head into his stomach, holding tightly to his hand as her cheeks slowly darken.
"Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" Dr. Kovac asks, and all of Tim's embarrassment disappears as he nods his head.
"Yes,please."
Dr. Kovac clicks a few buttons and suddenly the room is filled with a fastswooshingnoise, the sound of their baby's heartbeat surrounding them and echoing in their ears.
"Oh, wow," Lucy whispers, and Tim nods, unable to form words as he listens to the proof of their baby's life.
There really is a baby in there, he marvels, wiggling around and growing slowly into a teeny, tiny human.
"That's…" he whispers, but he finds he doesn't have words.
Lucy squeezes his hand as they listen, and while everything in their lives is a little bit tumultuous,thisseems easy.
Loving this baby will be the easiest thing he's ever done, with the possible exception of loving its mother.
They leave the doctor's office with twin copies of the ultrasound picture in hand', and Tim smiles as he pauses right outside of the office to pull his wallet out. He slides the picture inside, front and center, and then grins at it stupidly for a long moment while people move around their motionless bodies.
Lucy's hand sliding into his brings him back to the present, through, and he turns to grin atheras he remembers the rapidswooshingof their baby's heart.
"That was…"
"Amazing,"Lucy whispers, and he nods because yeah, that's the word.
Amazing.
"We're really doing this, huh?" he whispers, and Lucy nods as they walk hand-in-hand toward the elevator. She presses the button and then turns toward Tim, smiling up at him. She seems less guarded than before, her gaze now filled with excitement and happiness, andthatis what this should be like, Tim realizes.
Smiles, happiness, slow, happy kisses in the doctor's office.
They should be going hometogether,staring at the picture of their baby andcelebrating.
But instead, she's going home alone and he's going back to work.
He won't see her again today (unless he asks, and he doesn't want to push her). He won't hold her while they sleep, won't press a protective hand over her belly or whisper to their baby in the darkness of the night.
They'll both sleep alone tonight, and it feelswrong.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, but before Lucy can ask himwhy,the elevator door is opening and there stands QuigglyfuckingSmitty, slurping on a big gulp and raising an eyebrow as his eyes roam over their clasped hands and the obvious, ten foot long sign announcingObstetricsthat's right above their heads.
Tim winces, and wonders how they're getting out of this one.
Well.
Fuck.
Notes:
Oops! What will Smitty do? Will Tim ever talk to Lucy about how he's feeling so down about everything? Will he find a therapist?
More to come soon! Kudos and comments feed my soul!
Chapter 7
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Smitty.
Offuckingcourse it's him.
The man iseverywhere,all of the time.
"What are you doing here?!"
Lucy glances back and forth between Tim and Smitty as they both demand answers simultaneously. Tim is frowning, his eyebrows scrunched together in concern, while Smitty is smiling brightly, his lips turned up in amusement around his straw as he sips his drink noisily.
"My acupuncturist is on the floor below us," Smitty says simply, shrugging as he steps off of the elevator to let it close behind him.
"That doesn't explain why you're on theobstetricsfloor," Tim growls, glowering at the other Sergeant.
Smitty's smile grows in equal proportion to Tim's annoyance.
"It also doesn't explain whyyou'rehere, and with the lovely Officer Chen, too, I might add."
There's a twinkle in his eyes that Lucy knows means he's already put the pieces together, andof coursehe has a functioning brain when she wants to hide something from the entire station but not when sheneedshim for somethinguseful,like a case.
"I… we…uh—" Tim tries, but Lucy can tell immediately that nothing helpful is going to come out of his mouth.
And besides, can they reallydeny it?
Why would they be here, other than the obvious? If she were in uniform like Tim, she might be able to brush it off as case related, but she's not, and she's sure that Smitty is clever enough to realize Tim's rookie isn't with him and so this must not be work related.
"I'm pregnant," she says, sighing and giving into the inevitable as she holds up the ultrasound photo she hasn't yet been able to slide into her pocket.
Tim makes a noise of disbelief beside her, and Lucy smiles shakily at him before turning her attention back to Smitty.
"But youcannottell anyone, Smitty. And Imean it."
"Awww, a little Bradford and Chen baby!" Smitty coos, reaching for the photo while simultaneously ignoring Lucy's words. She snatches the picture out of his grasp, though, glaring at him until he drops his hand back to his side where it belongs. "But wait — I thought you two were broken up?"
Tim rolls his eyes.
"Youdoknow how this works, right? We only broke up four weeks ago, Simtty."
Smitty looks confused for one long second, and then he smiles and snaps his fingers as comprehension dawns in his eyes. "Ooooooh, I see. You got a little freaky in the sheetsbeforebreaking up, and now… oh, man. This is too good!"
Tim rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to the carefree Sergeant, his expression murderous.
"Look, Smitty. This isnoneof your business. So whatever you think you saw today? Forget it, or I'll sicLopezon you, and I believe she was…quitegraphic about what she'd do to you if you spilled the beans about our little secret operation. Imagine how mad she'd be if you upsetLucy."
Smitty's gaze flickers between Tim's murderous glare and Lucy's beseeching eyes. He has a soft spot for her, she knows, and she tries to look as small and sweet as she possibly can. Maybe good cop, bad cop will work on Smitty — and Tim isdefinitelythe bad cop in this situation.
(Andothersituations, too, though she's trying not to let her mind wander there even though Tim's power pose and the uniform combined aredoing thingsto her).
"All right," Smitty finally decides, nodding decisively as he sips at his big gulp. "I won't say a word. Cross my heart and hope to die.But…"
Tim's glare is back in full force, the little relief he'd let show on his expressiongoneas Smitty pauses, letting the silence linger between them.
"I swear to god if you ask for a favor…" Tim growls, and Lucy winces as she remembers thelastfavor she'd done for Smitty.
She still sees his trailer in hernightmares.
"Nah, nothin' like that," he says, eyes twinkling now. "I was going to say, I'm happy for you guys."
"Oh," Tim murmurs, falling back, his expression no longer homicidal. "Oh. Well… thank you? I guess?"
Smitty salutes them and then points his thumb behind himself.
"I gotta go. I have an eye appointment," he says, and Lucy nearly slaps her own hand to her forehead in exasperation when she turns and sees theOptometristbehind them, sharing the floor with the Obstetrics department.
Fuck.
They could have said she was here for new contacts, though she isn't sure how she'd explain Tim's presence.
Oh, well.
Too late now.
They watch Smitty go, silence trailing in his wake as his whistle and the slurping from his big gulp disappear in the distance.
Tim is the first to move, reaching out to press the elevator button again, but neither of them speak until they reach the first floor and then wander outside into the sunshine.
I'm sorry,Tim had whispered, and Lucy's about ninety percent sure he wasn't apologizing for the break up, though he's done that plenty in the past few days. He'd been staring at the ultrasound picture when he'd said it, and now that she's not panicking because of Smitty's presence, she's wonderingwhy.
Is he sorry about the baby?
Or just sorry because of how things with the baby are going down?
"I should get back to the diner and pick up Officer Janes," Tim murmurs, and Lucy knows she should let him go but she can't help the unease and anxiety roiling in her stomach.
"Wait," she whispers, and it would be comedic how quickly Tim comes to a halt at her command if she weren't so worried. "Um."
He takes a step toward her, his gaze concerned, one hand reaching out to settle on her arm.
"What's wrong?"
Lucy takes a deep breath and then forces the words past her lips, even though her heart is thundering with the possibilities.
What if heissorry about the baby?
Sorry she's pregnant?
Sorry that he hadn't been able to make a clean break like he'd wanted?
But no, she thinks.
He had beenincandescentlyhappy when she'd told him about the baby,andhe'd asked for a second chance with her before he'd even known she was pregnant.
She knows it's notthat.
"We said we'd work on our communication," she murmurs, and Tim nods even though he still looks confused. "And I'm trying. So… you saidI'm sorrybefore Smitty interrupted us. What… what are you sorry about?"
Tim blows out a breath and takes a step back, and Lucy feels the anxiety crawling slowly up her throat as she waits for him to gather his thoughts. The wind blows softly through her hair as she waits, and she watches Tim through strands of wavy, brown hair as it flies through her vision.
He looksbeautiful,she marvels, as the sun dances across his skin. His blue eyes are so bright and deep that she could get lost in them.
She loves him still,desperately,even if she's not quite ready to trust him with her heart again.
"I'm sorry," Tim begins slowly, his voice soft but certain. "Not because you're pregnant, because that's…god,it's the best thing that's ever happened to me." He pauses, shaking his head as he steps back into her space, his hand landing on her arm again. "Wait, no. The best thing that's ever happened to me isyou,but this is easily thesecondbest. So I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry because… this isn't how I imagined this happening, Luce, and I'm sure it isn't how you imagined it, either."
Lucy shakes her head slowly.
No, it's not.
She'd imagined they'd betogether.She'd imagined a house all their own, a ring on her finger. And sure, she'd thought about it happening before that by accident because they weren't alwayscareful,but even then, she'd imagined that he'd behersstill.
She'd imagined him by her side througheverything.Every morning spent worshiping the porcelain throne, every craving, every single moment.
There are tears in her eyes as she shakes her head slowly.
"It's not," she whispers, her voice barely traveling the distance between their two bodies. "It's not what I imagined. I wanted…"
She trails off, though, because everything she'd wanted is simply too big for words.
Tim understands, though.
Healwaysunderstands.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry that I got in my head and pushed you away. I'm sorry I left you in that parking lot. I'm sorry that I decidedfor youthat you'd be better off without me. Dr. London may have been a pawn in Monica's game, but she made me realize a few things, and one of them was that I had no right to make that choice for you."
"No, you didn't," Lucy agrees, but despite her words, she's still in Tim's space, his hand on her arm, her fingers playing with the material of his uniform shirt. "I wanted tohelp you,Tim. I wanted to help you get better, to stand by your side as you figured things out. But…"
Tim nods, his own eyes wet with unshed tears now. "I know. And I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for it, but I know now that what I did was wrong. And Luce, I'm not better yet. I'm not the man I want to be yet. But… but I see now that I should have let you stay by my side, supporting me along the journey — if that was what you wanted."
"I did," Lucy confirms, nodding as her fingers tighten in his shirt. "I did want that."
She knows he won't walk away right now, but she can't convince her fingers to loosen in the material.
"I know you're not healed yet," she says, sniffling as she glances up to meet his gaze. "AndI'mnot over how you handled it, either. I'm still mad. I'm stillhurt.And I still don't… I don't fully trust you with my heart again. I'm not ready forthatagain yet."
Tim nods, his lips pressed into a thin line and his jaw tight as he tries to keep the tears falling from his eyes.
"I know, and it's my fault so I can't even really be upset about it."
Lucy licks her lips and glances at the parking lot behind Tim's body, gathering her thoughts as she breathes slowly through her nose to try and control the wave of emotion that threatens to overtake her.
"We're both hurt, and we're both a little broken," she continues, and Tim nods slowly in agreement as he watches her carefully. "But I want to healtogether,Tim. Can we please do this together? Imissyou."
Tim nods, finally losing the battle with his tears as he lurches forward and wraps his arms around her body, pulling her as tightly against him as he can with his duty belt in the way. One hand comes up to cup the back of her head, and Lucy's whole bodysagsin relief as he holds her tightly, their hearts beating together as they breathe in the silence.
She holds him for a long time, breathing him in and trying to memorize his scent, the scent that's faded from the t-shirts she sleeps in and the blankets on her bed. The scent that's slowly but surely disappeared from her house over the past for weeks.
The scent sheloves.
When she pulls back her eyes and cheeks are wet, though any self consciousness about it disappears when she takes in Tim's face.
He lookswrecked.
His cheeks are red and wet, his eyes bloodshot.
He looks every single second of his forty-two years and then some.
Lucy wants to pull him into her arms again, but she knows that they don't have time.
"Come over tonight and I'll let you make me dinner again," she whispers instead, and Tim is nodding frantically before she's even finished speaking. "Bring Kojo."
She doesn't know if she wants to ask him to stay the night yet, but she definitely wants Kojo cuddles.
Andshe wants to have theoptionof asking him to stay, if it feels right in the moment.
"I'll be over as soon as my shift is done," he promises, resting his hands on his duty belt even though it looks for all the world like he wants to reach out and touchher.
Lucy smiles and takes a step back, wiping a hand across her cheeks to clear the stubbornly clinging tears.
"See you soon," she whispers.
She can feel Tim's eyes on her all the way back to her car.
Notes:
They're TALKING, which is a step in the right direction! Will Celina be home? Will they tell her? Will TIM STAY THE NIGHT? So many questions.
Kudos and comments make me smile! Love you guys! Love the support for this fic and I love writing it!
Chapter 8
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
As soon as his shift is over, Tim marches Janes to one of the desks in the bullpen and drops their paperwork in front of her along with a pen, a snack, and a soda.
(As much as he denies it, hehasbecome softer since Lucy entered his life).
"This is your next test, Boot. I'm very generously allowing you to do our paperwork all by yourself today. Leave it on my desk and I'll check it over in the morning. Each mistake made is 50 push-ups. Good luck."
Officer Janes stares after him with wide eyes and lips parted in surprise, but Tim pays her no mind.
He'll come in early to check her work. He doesn't mind setting his alarm thirty minutes earlier.
Hedoesmind spending a single second longer away from Lucy, though, and it's with a spring in his step that he changes out and walks to his truck.
He can be at Lucy's apartment in less than twenty minutes, he knows, but he pauses as he climbs into the cab and starts the engine.
Baby steps,he thinks, and he smiles as he turns his truck in the direction of the store instead of Lucy's apartment.
It's fifty five minutes later that he shows up, but he's armed with caramel ice cream, a bouquet of Lucy's favorite flowers, Kojo, ingredients for dinner, and a little gift basket of bath bombs, bubble baths, and other assorted goodies. She loves to wind down with a nice, hot bath, and he knows she must be more stressed than ever right now.
"Hey."
Lucy greets him with a small, soft smile that only grows as each of the gifts is given and accepted.
Kojo, as expected, gets the biggest reaction, and Tim watches fondly as Lucy sits on the floor, laughing brightly as the boy wags his tail and licks her face, his paws in her lap and on her shoulder.
He lets it go on until Kojo begins inching his paws up her stomach to reach her face better, and Tim falls to the floor next to them, gently removing the dog before he can stick a paw in her belly.
"Be careful, bud," he murmurs, patting Kojo on the head as Lucy wipes dog slobber from her face. "Mommy's got precious cargo in there."
Kojo whines and then licks Lucy's hands, nudging her with his head as he sniffs her midsection.
"A little brother or sister for you," Lucy adds, and Tim basks in the simple moment of happiness as they both pet their co-parented dog.
Eventually Tim stands, holding out a hand to help Lucy off of the floor as Kojo begins to sniff around the apartment, his ears perked and his tail wagging at light speed as he explores all of the new scents and objects. He sneezes violently when he finds Celina's herbs, and both Lucy and Tim chuckle at him as Lucy settles onto a stool at the counter at Tim's insistence.
"You saidIcould cook," he murmurs, and she rolls her eyes playfully but takes the seat that Tim all but lifts her into.
They fall into a comfortable routine as he hands her vegetables to chop, the sounds of cooking filling the apartment as Kojo collapses into a happy puddle at Lucy's feet after sniffing every inch of the apartment he has access to.
Tim watches them both and feels something warm and heady settle in his stomach seeing them together again.
They're all together again, and it feels almost normal.
Almost.
"Tell me about your day," he requests, and Lucy glances up at him as he begins to saute the onion she's just chopped.
"It was boring," she says, but she's smiling as she begins to cut red and green bell peppers into long, thin slices. "After our appointment I went to that natural food store you recommended and stocked up on those ginger candies. They actually help a lot. Then I did laundry and cleaned the house. Nothing very exciting."
Tim nods as he stirs the onions to keep them from burning.
"How wasyourday?" Lucy asks, and Tim smiles as he turns to take the peppers from her, adding them to the pan and enjoying the way the oil sizzles as he does so.
"A little more exciting than that, but not much. We had a few routine calls and then I spent an hour quizzing Officer Janes on the most obscure police codes I could think of. She only got seven out of twenty five correct, so she has a lot of studying to do if she's not going to wash out."
"Well," Lucy says, and Tim can sense that she's a little subdued at the mention of his rookie, but he's not going to bring it up if she isn't. "Not everyone can beme."
He laughs, shaking his head as he adds diced, raw chicken to the pot. Chicken that he'd boughtalready skinned and slicedbecause he didn't want Lucy to have to deal with raw meat.
"No, they sure can't," he agrees. "What was it?The best rookie I've ever trained,I believe?"
Lucy grins widely at the mention of the audiobooks she'd made him while he'd been studying for Sergeant.
"And you'd better not forget it," she threatens.
"I wouldn't dare," he whispers, and how could he possibly?
He listens to her audiobooks every time he misses her, only able to relax when he hears her voice echoing in his head, her laughter and indignant comments on the more sexist, out-of-print books making him smile even on the hardest days.
They finish cooking the (very lightly spiced) fajitas that Tim knows she loves, a mostly comfortable silence settling over them as they chop and stir together, and as he cooks, Tim lets himself think of all the things he wants to say but hasn't been brave enough to until now.
Lucy had been brave earlier, stopping him in the parking lot and asking him if they could heal together.
Lucy hasalwaysbeen the brave one.
He wants to be brave now, too.
"Let's eat in the living room," he murmurs, and Lucy nods as he gathers their plates and glasses of water and carries them to the couch. They settle on opposite ends, more space between them than there has been since the night they'd "practiced" for their undercover assignment, and they spend the first few minutes mostly eating in silence.
Tim watches her, chewing slowly as he mentally practices the words he wants to say.
The words he hasn't been brave enough to say up until this point.
"Luce?" he whispers.
She glances up, a red pepper caught between her lips, and Tim feels a love so intense that it takes his breath away.
"Hmm?"
He smiles and watches her for a moment, besotted.
How had he ever walked away from her?
How had he ever said goodbye?
He knows she deserves better, but he's been learning in therapy that he deserves to be loved, too.
He doesn'tbelieveit yet, of course, but he's trying.
"I want to be brave," he murmurs, and Lucy looks at him, her head cocked to the side in confusion as he sets his plate down on the coffee table and turns more fully toward her."Youwere brave earlier, in the parking lot.Youwere brave when you kissed me in this very room, so many months ago.Youwere brave when you invited me inside. I … Ihaven'tbeen brave. I was so scared, Lucy, that I kept dating Ashley even though I knew she wasn't the one for me. God knows how long I would have let it go on if she hadn't ended things. And yes, I asked you out, but that was easy. When it came to the hard stuff — thereallyhard stuff — I chickened out. I walked away. But now… now I want to be brave."
Lucy swallows the bite of chicken she's been thoughtfully chewing on and then sets her plate down, too.
"Okay," she whispers, nodding as she places her hands in her lap and gives him her undivided attention. "Be brave then, Tim."
He clears his throat and scoots forward, reaching for her hands.
"I feel like we've been dancing around this. Me in the elevator, you in the doctor's parking lot. We've said things, but we haven't reallysaidanything, or at least nothing concrete. But I want to make itabundantlyclear, and then I'm going to step back and let you make the next move, okay?"
Lucy nods, and Tim draws in a slow, steadying breath, much like he had in the station parking lot before he'd whispered the words that changed both of their lives.
Do you want to get dinner sometime?
"I love you," he whispers, and the little gasp of surprise that passes Lucy's lips makes his heart stutter in his chest. "I love you, Lucy. I neverstoppedloving you, and I never will. I made a mistake, and I want to make up for it. I want you back. I want us to date again, to be together again. Not justhealtogether, butbetogether. And I feel like you might have known that's what I meant when I said I'd spend the rest of my life making it up to you, but I just wanted to make it completely clear what I want. I wantyou.All of you. If you'll still have me."
Lucy doesn't speak for a long moment, but Tim finds that he's actually very calm about the whole thing.
He's laid all his cards on the table, and now it's up to Lucy.
"I want that, too," she finally says, and Tim feels his lips twitch into a smile as she squeezes his hands where he's holding hers. "I love you, too, Tim. I want us to be together,reallytogether, too. And I'mtryingnot to be mad, but I still am, sometimes, because we had somethinggreatand you took that away from us."
"I know," Tim whispers.
Even if they're together for fifty years, he thinks he'll always remember walking away from her and breaking her heart.
"I've forgiven you," Lucy continues, rubbing her thumb across Tim's knuckles where they're still a little bit bruised. "But I can't forget. Not yet. Baby steps, remember?"
"Okay," Tim whispers, nodding. "That's more than I hoped for, Luce. That's more than Ideserve.And you can be mad all you want. You can yell at me and throw things and even hit me if you want to."
"Oh, Tim," Lucy whispers, shaking her head.
There are tears in her eyes, and Tim wants to brush them away but he doesn't want to let go of her hands.
"I'm mad," she continues, scooting even closer to him on the couch. "Iam.But just because I'm mad doesn't mean I want to hurt you. I'dneverhit you, not in anger. I don't want to scream and throw things. I'm not…"
I'm not him.
She doesn't say the words, but Tim hears them anyway.
"I'm working on that in therapy, too," he whispers, because he knows that believing everyone who is mad at him wants tohurthim is a product of his childhood that he needs to shed before the baby comes. "Or… I was. With Dr. London. I'll keep working on it with the new therapist, too, I promise."
"Did you ever find someone?" Lucy asks.
Tim senses the shift in conversation, but he lets it happen.
They've said what they need to say.
They've clarified what they want, and that it will take a while for them to get there.
He's happy to wait as long as she needs.
"Yeah," he confirms, squeezing her hands before dropping them and reaching for their food. He hands hers back to her first and then takes his own. "Dr. Keller is going to see me, and he referred us to his colleague, Dr. Yarrow, for couples counseling. I have their numbers so you can check them out, if you want."
"I'd like that," Lucy murmurs, nodding. "I'll add it to my never-ending to-do list."
Tim hums as he takes a bite of his chicken.
"What can I help with? To make your to-do list lighter?"
Lucy sighs and shrugs as she balances her plate on her lap.
"There'ssomuch to do for the baby. I can… I can sit down and write some of it out so that you can help, if you want."
Tim nods enthusiastically.
"I'll so anything you want me to," he promises.
"A lot of it I have to do by myself," Lucy continues. "I need to talk to Grey, begin studying for the TO exam, and set up a shadowing schedule with you. I need to start looking at apartments because this one isdefinitelytoo small for me, Celina, and a baby. Plus I don't even know if she's going towantto live with a baby, so I for sure need to think about moving out. I need to start reviewing car seats, because I want one that can do extended rear facing. I need to find good, discrete breast pump, I need —"
Tim cuts her off with a finger pressed gently to her lips, because he feels like if he doesn't, she'll just keep going.
He'ssureher mental to-do list is a mile long, and he can help her with a lot of it, but the baby still has to cook for another 30 weeks andthey have time.
"Some of that can wait," he says, chuckling as he finishes off his dinner and then gathers his and Lucy's empty plates. "In fact,allof it can wait until at least tomorrow. Tonight you should relax. Top Chef?"
Lucy nods, smiling softly as Tim takes their dishes to the kitchen, rinses them, and puts them in the dishwasher. He brings back two bowls of ice cream for them and a bone for Kojo, and they spend the next two hours watching episodes of Top Chef that she's had on her DVR for weeks, unable to watch without bursting into tears.
They watch until Lucy's eyes begin to slip closed, and Tim chuckles as she lurches forward, her eyes snapping open as her head bobs for at least the tenth time in the past five minutes.
"You should go to bed," he murmurs. "And I should get the boy home."
Lucy whines and reaches out for him, and Tim chuckles as she blinks sleepily.
God, she's cute.
"Stay," she whines, and his breath catches as she finally makes contact, one hand on his arm and the other tangling in his shirt as she pulls him closer to her. "My bed doesn't smell like you anymore."
"Okay," he whispers, because making the decision to stay with her is as easy as breathing. "Let's go to bed then."
He sleeps better that night than he has since he walked out of her apartment so many weeks ago, because while the sound of her voice in his ear is like a balm to his soul, sleeping with her beside him,touchinghim, is even better.
Notes:
Fun fact: there is a single line in this chapter that sets up the Big, Grand Gesture that Tim does that leads to Chenford's first kiss. Tim's grand gesture is the scene that lead to the very creation of this story. Kudos if anyone can guess it!
As always, comments and kudos are appreciated and make me write faster!
Chapter 9
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING:Worries of miscarriage, bleeding while pregnant (no actual miscarriage)
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy doesn't invite Tim over again for the next few weeks.
Shewantsto, of course, because the night she'd spent in his arms had been the best night of sleep she'd had since he walked away from her in that damn parking lot.
But she doesn't.
She knows they both need time to heal and growseparatelybefore they try and be together again. Tim is in therapy, she knows. He's gone to three sessions already, and he likes his new therapist. He's told her about each session briefly but not gone into detail, and that's okay — she knows that what he talks about in those sessions is his business.
She's back in therapy, too, with the same therapist who had seen her through the nightmares after Caleb had kidnapped her.
Who had seen her throughJackson's death.
She's making progress— she's been able to let go of some of her anger — but she knows she has a long way to go. Forgiving is easy, in light of everything she knows is going on in Tim's head. The trauma, the abuse, the PTSD — it's a miracle he hadn't broken downyears ago.
Butforgettingis proving to be much more difficult.
Still, even though she doesn't invite him over, they see each other at the station and thetensionis back.
It feels almost like it had in the weeks between coming back from their undercover mission and Tim asking her to dinner.
There's excitement.
Anticipation.
The realization that there's the possibility formore,just around the corner.
"Good morning," Tim murmurs as he comes to a stop in front of her table at roll call, and Lucy smiles up at him, her hands clasped over her stomach on her duty belt, as he passes her a large coffee cup from Nevin's.
"You went twenty minutes out of your way for coffee?" she asks, but she accepts the offering for what it is, breathing in the sweet, spicy scene of chai before taking a long sip, humming happily as the perfectly warm liquid touches her lips.
Tim shrugs, one corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile as he sips his own (plain, black) coffee.
"Nevin's is always worth it," he says, and Lucy hums as she eyes the bag he's holding in his free hand. Tim notices and chuckles, holding it up to eye level and shaking it. Lucy's eyes follow the brown sack, almost completely certain there's a chocolate croissant in there for her.
Timlovesher (he said so himself) and he's been doing so many sweet, little things recently.
Small doses,she remembers him saying.
Baby steps.
"Tiiiiim," she whines, and his smile grows as he dangles the bag in front of her. "Gimmie."
"What makes you think this is for you?" he asks.
Lucy levels him with athoroughlyunimpressed look, one eyebrow raised.
As if he'd come to her empty handed.
Tim hands it over, smirking as he does.
"If you're done flirting, Bradford, I'd like to start roll call," Grey snaps, and Tim nearly jumps as the older man's booming voice fills the room. Lucy hides a smile in her Chai latte and watches as Tim scurries back to his chair, properly chastised by the one man on earth who can elicit a fear response in him.
"So, you and Tim seem like you're back on good terms," Nolan whispers, leaning over to talk without being overheard by Gray.
He's only been back on duty for a few days, his ass deemed healed enough to sit in a shop for an extended period of time. He's been on edge, though, worried about Bailey with the escape of Oscar and Elijah.
Everyone'sbeen on edge a little bit, as a matter of fact. Lucy, however, has been too distracted by everything happening with Tim and the baby to focus on anything else.
"We're… working on it," she confirms with a small nod.
"That's good, Luce. I always wondered why you broke up anyway — it's clear to anyone with eyes that you love each other."
Lucy shrugs and turns her attention forward, her eyes on Grey even though she's barely taking his words in. "Sometimes love isn't the problem."
Nolan doesn't respond, and Lucy's thankful.
She's not really ready to talk about this with anyone other than Tim and her therapist andtheirtherapist, with whom they have an appointment later in the week. It's complicated and has layers —Timhad layers that she knows even he doesn't understand yet.
But they'reworking on it,and she's hopeful that they'll be in a better place, both as individuals and a couple, before the baby arrives.
She's on patrol when it happens, stopped at her second favorite coffee shop for a refill.
"I'll be right back, Whitney," she tells the barista who is in the middle of making her half-caf latte. "Yours is one of the only bathrooms in the area that has floor to ceiling stalls, so I have to take advantage of it while I can."
Whitney nods and Lucy turns to head into the restroom, wincing at the wetness between her thighs. She'd been warned by her doctor that discharge was common early in pregnancy, but she wasn't prepared for this level ofdiscomfort.
The bathroom is empty when she checks all the stalls, and she sighs in relief as she turns the lock and removes her duty belt. She hangs it off of the hook on the back of the door and then pulls her pants down to sit on the toilet, but before she can even begin to feel the sweet release of emptying her seemingly always full bladder, she feels panic shoot through her whole body, her fingertips tingling with anxiety and her chest tight as she eyes the sight before her.
Blood.
Her underwear are covered inblood.
"No," she whispers, her hands shaking as she reaches for toilet paper to wipe. It comes away with only a few small streaks, but she's still panicking because even if it's stoppedalready ithappenedandoh got her baby.
She wipes again and then stuffs her underwear with toilet paper, not bothering to put her duty belt back on as she reaches for her radio with one hand, the other shoving first the stall door and then the bathroom door open. She blows past Whitney who is holding out her coffee, already talking into the radio as she climbs shakily into the shop and tosses her belt into the passenger seat.
"Dispatch, show me 10-6 personal. Send an additional unit to Cedars Sinai to recover my duty belt and shop and clock me out. I'll be out for the rest of the day."
She drops the radio, barely registering the confirmation that someone is on their way to meet her as she pulls onto the street.
She has 7 missed calls and 21 text messages when she arrives at the hospital, and she shouldn't be surprised that Tim is already there, pacing in front of the emergency room doors when she pulls up, but she somehow still is.
"Stay with the shops, boot!Both of them!"he yells at Officer Janes, and then he's sliding an arm around Lucy's waist and guiding her inside, his voice soft in her ear as she tearfully explains to the receptionist what's happening.
"I'm-I'm bleeding," she whispers, wiping tears from her eyes as she grips onto the counter for dear life. "I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and I'm bleeding."
Tim holds tightly to her hand as they're immediately shown to a room, their uniforms and Tim's glare helping move things along much more quickly than they would otherwise.
"A doctor will be with you within a few minutes," the nurse promises, and Lucy nods tearfully as Tim helps her sit on the edge of the hospital bed.
"How many of those missed calls are from you?" she asks, sniffling as she settles in, her fingers shaking as she unlocks her phone and navigates toward the messages and notifications she's not ready to deal with yet.
They provide a distraction, though, that she and Tim both desperately need.
"Probably all of them," he whispers, and Lucy glances up to watch him pace the length of the room. He's frowning, his brow furrowed, and Lucy wonders if she loses the baby, will she lose him, too?
Is she, alone, worth fighting for?
"They are," she confirms, holding her phone up.
Every single one of the seven missed calls is from Tim, each one spaced one minute apart.
"I was terrified," he whispers, coming to a stop in front of her. "I heard you call that in over the radio and I knew, logically, that you must be okay if you weren't calling for an RA, but I panicked. I … I lost my head. I thought, if it's not Lucy, it must be the baby. And…"
And it is.
Neither one of them finish the thought, though, and Lucy reaches out to hold onto Tim's hand as she glances at the text messages.
Three are from Nolan, six from Angela, one from Grey, two from Nyla, and the remaining 9 are from Tim.
Tim's are the only ones she opens, sighing as she lays her head on his shoulder.
"Can you let everyone else know I'm okay? We'll… we'll probably have to tell them, after this. But for now I don't want them to worry, and I don't want them…here."
Tim nods and takes out his own phone, and Lucy bites her lips as she opens the messages from Tim, scanning them as tears slip slowly down her cheeks.
Each message is a little more worried than the last, and Lucy canfeelhis panic building as his words grow more and more concerned.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Are you okay?
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Lucy, answer me.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Lucy.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Please, baby, answer me.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Are you hurt?
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Is it the baby?
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Please,Luce. Please answer me.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Lucy!
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I'm almost at the hospital. I love you. I love you so much.
"I love you, too," she whispers, squeezing his hand more tightly as there's a knock on the door. They both put their phones down, and Lucy bites her lip in anticipation as a young doctor walks into the room.
"Hello, my name is Dr. Patel. You must be Lucy Chen?"
Lucy nods tearfully.
"Yes," she whispers, the hand not clasped in Tim's falling to her stomach. "I am."
"And what seems to be the issue today, Ms. Chen?"
Lucy bites her lip and looks up to Tim.
She can't say it again.
"She's twelve weeks pregnant and bleeding," he whispers, and Lucy's heart breaks a little bit more when she hears the emotion in his voice.
He'sterrified,she knows, but he's trying not to show it.
"About how much blood would you say you lost, Lucy?"
Lucy shrugs.
"I … I don't know," she murmurs. "I stopped for coffee and … and my underwear were pretty wet. When I wiped there wasn't too much, though. It... it had mostly stopped by then."
"That's good. That's very good. Did you pass any tissue? Blood clots?"
Lucy shakes her head.
"Alright, I'm going to step out for a moment. I'd like you to undress from the waist down, and I'd like to see the amount of blood on your undergarments, too, if that's okay."
Lucy nods, standing to her feet and dropping Tim's hand as she begins to unbutton her pants. Her fingers slip on the zipper several times before Tim's hands replace hers, and she nearly sobs in relief as he helps her undress. He can't hide his reaction when he sees the blood, though, and Lucy is crying again as she climbs back onto the bed and covers her legs with the provided sheet.
"You can come back in," Tim calls into the hallway, and in mere moments, Dr. Patel is back.
"We're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound," he says, sanitizing his hands and then reaching for gloves. "To check on the fetus. Most likely, with the minimal amount of bleeding I can see on your clothing, it's nothing to be concerned about. But we'll do all of the normal tests to make sure. Did the nurse take your blood yet?"
Lucy shakes her head 'no'.
"I'll have her check your hCG levels, make sure they're still where we want them, as well as run all of the other standard labs."
"Okay," Lucy agrees, and as she positions her feet so that Dr. Patel can begin the ultrasound, she turns to Tim beside her. He's silent and as still as a statue, his hand holding tightly to hers as he watches the doctor's every move.
They've only known she's pregnant for a few weeks, but Lucy knows without a shadow of a doubt thatlosingthe baby will break both of their hearts beyond repair.
"This may hurt," Dr. Patel murmurs, but Lucy doesn't care.
"It's okay," she whispers, though she can't help the wince when he inserts the ultrasound wand and begins to move it around, searching for their baby.
It's a long, tense few moments before Dr. Patel sags in his seat, smiling as he flicks a switch.
Suddenly the room is filled with the fast, flutteringthump thump thumpof their baby's heart, and Lucy turns in surprise when Tim makes a deep, guttural noise and begins sobbing openly in the middle of their ER room. His hand is holding so tightly to hers that it almost hurts, but she doesn't care.
"Our baby's okay?" she whispers, disbelieving.
Dr. Patel nods.
"Everything seems fine, for the moment. We'll keep rechecking the baby's heartbeat in normal intervals, but as of right now it's a strong 145 beats per minute, which is fantastic. Measurements seem good, and movement is as expected. Nurse Jamie will be back in to take your blood down to the lab and we'll keep you updated, but settle in. You're with us for the next several hours at the very least."
"Thank you," Lucy whispers, and then she turns her attention to Tim as the doctor removes the ultrasound wand, cleans her up, and then exits the room.
"Hey," she whispers, holding tightly to his hand and pulling him closer to her. "It's okay, Tim. We're okay.Our babyis okay."
Tim nods, unable to form words, and then reaches for her, pulling her into his arms and holding on tightly. He buries his head in her neck and she can feel the wetness of his tears on her skin, and she sighs as she wraps her arms around him, holding him tightly as he sobs against her.
"We're okay," she whispers, running her fingers through his hair. "We're all okay."
Notes:
I hope ya'll didn't get TOO used to all that fluff…
As always, comments and kudos make me smile! ️
Chapter 10
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim knows there are still tears clinging to his cheeks when he finally pulls away from Lucy, but being vulnerable in front of her doesn't feel as scary as he thought it would.
It never has, not since he told her about Isabel, not when took her to his father's nursing home, not even when he walked out of his father's room for the last time and she literally held him together.
"Hey," she murmurs, reaching up to wipe away the moisture still clinging to his cheeks. She shifts on the bed and a flash of skin reminds him that she's naked from the waist down, so he wipes away his tears and smiles softly at her before walking around the bed and grabbing her uniform pants. He stares at them and winces because he knows that they are not evenremotelycomfortable and she deserves to be comfortable right now.
"I could go home and get you some clothes," he murmurs, and while his (currently incorrect) use of the wordhomefills him with some indescribable hope that one day theywillshare a home, he's using the clothing issue as a distraction and he knows thatsheknows it.
"I'll be fine, I'll just have to strip again next time they come to check on us," she murmurs, though she does reposition on the bed, tucking the sheet more carefully around her body. "Come here, Tim."
Tim turns away from her discarded clothes and back toward her slowly. He knows his eyes are red rimmed and bloodshot, and despite feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable in front of her, he still feelssomethingabout the way he'd broken down when he heard the baby's heartbeat.
Regardless he sits on the bed, turning toward her as she folds her legs under herself and reaches for him again.
"Are you okay?"
Tim shrugs.
He doesn't know.
Hedoesknow that one of the things Dr. Keller has been encouraging him to be isvulnerable,though, so he sucks in a steadying breath and tries.
The baby is worth it.
Sheis worth it.
"I thought I might lose you," he whispers, shrugging again and dropping his eyes from hers as he plays nervously with the sheet covering her lap. "When I heard that call…"
Lucy makes a soft noise and takes his hands between her own. His hands are larger and her fingers barely cover his, but her touch iscomfortingregardless.
"The baby's okay, Tim," she whispers, smiling as she glances at the screen that is still frozen on the image of theirchild."They'refine,and… and Dr. Patel said that a little bleeding is normal, right?"
Tim nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat before continuing, because this isn't just about thebaby.
"I was scared I'd loseyou,"he whispers again, stressing the word and glancing up to meet Lucy's eyes again as he does. Her breath catches, and he feels his own heart thundering in his chest as he continues, his voice soft in the bustling noise of the hospital. "I heard you call it in and my mind went a million different places. Stuck in a room. Stuck in abarrel.Shot. Car accident. Aggressive suspect. My brain even came up with a millionridiculousideas, too, like appendicitis and food poisoning. I knew… Iknewyou were probably fine because you were talking and not calling for an RA, but I couldn't calm the panic. I … Ifreaked out,Lucy. I lost focus. I abandoned a call in the middle of responding, and my rookie isstillstanding outside with our shops unless the responding officer took her back to the station."
"Oh," Lucy whispers, and Tim frowns because of all the reactions he was expecting,ohwasn't one of them.
"What do you mean by that?" he asks, confused.
Lucy is the one shrugging now, unsure of herself. She slips her hands off of his and drops them back into her lap.
Tim reaches for her, though, not letting her retreat the way she wants to. "Dr. Keller told me that… that in order to make this work,us,work, I have to be open,reallyopen with you. The reason I left in the first place is because I didn't tell you what I was thinking, what I was feeling, and what was happening to me. And… and the breakup wasn't in any wayyourfault, but being open ishelping,Luce. So… tell me what you're thinking, please."
Lucy doesn't speak for a long moment, but Tim doesn't push her anymore.
She'll talk if she's ready.
And if not…
"I was scared," she whispers, and Tim is about to open his mouth and tell herof courseshe was, but before he can, she's continuing. "I was scared that if I lost the baby, then you wouldn't want…"
She doesn't finish her sentence, but she doesn't have to.
Then you wouldn't wantme.
Tim feels his heart clench and then slowly shatter, becausehecaused this.
It'shisfault she's doubting herself this way.
Hebroke them.
"Oh, Lucy," he whispers, and he canhearthe tears in his voice but he doesn't care what kind of spectacle he's making. "Oh, sweetheart. I … I obviously would have beenshatteredif we lost the baby, but nothing could make me not want you.Nothing.I loveyou,okay? I love the baby, too,somuch. But I loved you first and I'll love you forever, no matter what."
Lucy sniffles but doesn't respond.
"And I'm sorry that I've given you cause to doubt my dedication," he continues, his stomach sour with the thought. "But I will show you, again and again, that I mean it. Small doses, right?"
Lucy finally looks up and offers him a small smile, and Tim wants to blurt out everything he's planning, everything that he's been working on setting into motion, but he doesn't.
Not yet.
Not until he'ssure.
It's kind of abig"small dose" but he thinks she'll appreciate it regardless.
"Okay," Lucy whispers, and Tim takes the offering for what it is.
She's acknowledging his words but not ready tobelievethem yet, and that's okay.
One step at a time.
Doctors and nurses come in and out of the room what feels like a hundred times over the next few hours while Lucy and Tim try to put out fires.
Tim is in charge of handling Angela, Grey, and his rookie, while Lucy is messaging Nolan and Nyla, trying to convince them that they're okay. Nolan is easy to convince because he's basically a golden retriever, and long after Lucy has put her phone down and curled up in just her white t-shirt and a pair of hospital scrub pants to rest, Tim is still working on Angela.
Grey had been easy —
To: Sergeant Grey
From: Tim Bradford
I'll fill you in tomorrow, sir, but for now everyone is fine.
— and he'd responded within a minute sayingokayand not much else.
Angela however…
To: Angela Lopez-Evers
From: Tim Bradford
Lucy is fine, we'll talk to you tomorrow.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Angela Lopez-Evers
Bullshit, I heard her over the radio and Iknow
fear, okay? I'm coming to the hospital.
To: Angela Lopez-Evers
From: Tim Bradford
You absolutely arenotdoing that.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Angela Lopez-Evers
Then you'd better give me a damn good
reason not to.
To: Angela Lopez-Evers
From: Tim Bradford
Lucy had a little scare and they're
monitoring her, but she's fine.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Angela Lopez-Evers
If she's fine, she wouldn't be in the fucking hospital,
now would she? What does she want for dinner?
Does she need clothes? I'll bring her some clothes.
She was in uniform when she called in. See you soon.
Tim glares down at his phone, his brow furrowed.
"Angela might show up here," he says, and the noise Lucy makes isdistraught.
"I'm not ready to tell her. To tellanyone,"she whispers, and Tim wishes he could shield her from this but he doesn't think they have a choice.
"I know," he whispers. "Me, either. But… we have to tell peoplesomething.They're all worried, and they care about you."
Lucy sighs and sits up slowly, brushing a hand over her face.
"I feel sick," she murmurs.
Tim is moving before she's even finished speaking, reaching for one of the puke buckets on the wall with the array of medical equipment he can't name. He holds it under her chin and brushes her hair out of her face as she gags into the bowl, nothing but bile coming up.
"Still having morning sickness?"
Lucy nods, miserable, but accepts the cup of water Tim offers her. She uses it to rinse her mouth out and then spits into the bucket, and then he's taking everything away and tossing it, her own personal knight in standard issue police uniform.
"Yeah. Dr. Kovac said it should be ending soon since I'm in my second trimester, but… Ugh."
Tim sits on the bed next to her and takes her hand.
"If Angela does show up…" he trails off, but they both know it's more of awhenand not anif.
"We can tell her," Lucy murmurs, sighing as she lays her head on Tim's shoulder. She repositions, the scrub pants swishing and scratching noisily as she curls into a ball at Tim's side. "About the baby. About the scare. I knew we'd have to eventually, but…"
Tim nods, simply holding tighter to Lucy's hand.
He can't take this away, but he can support her.
Angela shows up while Lucy's legs are spread in the stirrups that all women have collectively and passionately hated since their first pap smear, transvaginal ultrasound in uncomfortable places and her baby's heartbeat filling the room.
She stands there, mouth open and arms full of clothes and dinner, her eyes wider than Tim thinks he's ever seen them.
"Oh. My.God."
Tim winces, drops Lucy's hand, and quickly rounds the bed, pushing Angela out of the room as Lucy winces and rearranges the sheet over her legs, her face flushed and her eyes turning toward the ceiling, not meeting the detective's gaze.
"Oh mygod,Tim! Oh myfucking god!"Angela hisses.
Tim nods, pulling the door closed behind them as he watches his best friend vibrate in the middle of the ER hallway.
"Lucy's pregnant," he says unnecessarily, and the noise Angela makes reaches a decibel that only dogs should be able to hear as she drops dinner and clothes and pulls Tim into a bone-crushing hug.
It only takes a few moments for the reality that Lucy and Tim are in thehospitalto set in, though, and then she's pulling back, her face falling.
"Oh, fuck. Oh, god. Is the baby okay? Issheokay?"
Tim nods, running a hand through his hair as he glances back toward the room.
"Yeah, they're fine. Dr. Patel wants to do one more check in about two hours, but he said that if everything is looking okay then he's going to send us home after that. Baby's heartbeat is strong and … and Lucy's labs are all pristine. Everything seems fine."
Angela nods, bends down to gather everything back into her arms, and then turns back to Tim, her eyes sparkling with happiness.
"I know things are messy right now," she murmurs, and Tim nods because she doesn't even know thehalfof it. "But I'msohappy for you, Tim. A baby! I know I was a little hesitant with both Jack and Emmy, but they're thebestthings that have ever happened to me. You're going tolovebeing a daddy, Tim. Oh, I'm so happy for you and Lucy!"
Tim smiles despite the fact that this is not how he wanted to tell his best friend.
(To be fair,noneof this is happening quite how he wanted it to, but he's learning to roll with the punches.)
Her happiness is contagious, and he'ssoexcited about being a father.
"Tim?"
Tim turns toward the sliding door, pushing it open as he nods his head, inviting Angela inside.
"Wanna hear my baby's heartbeat?" he asks, and she nods vigorously as Tim slips back inside, immediately taking his place at Lucy's side again while Angela drops her handful of clothes and dinner into one of the empty chairs. Dr. Patel is still sitting on a stool between Lucy's legs, ultrasound in hand. He's smiling, though, so Tim knows that everything must still be okay.
"Youneverforget this sound," Angela murmurs, taking the hand Tim isn't holding as they all watch the screen. Lucy squeezes Tim's hand tightly and he smiles down at her, nodding. "I'm so happy for you guys. This is … this isamazing."
Lucy cracks a smile for the first time since Tim told her Angela may be showing up, and he feels lighter than he has since he first heard her voice over the radio.
They've told one friend, and the world hadn't ended.
Now they just have to telleveryone else.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!Coming Soon:
1. What is Tim planning?
2. How will they tell everyone else?
3. WHAT IS TIM PLANNING?
Comments and kudos make me smile.
Chapter 11
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
After Dr. Patel leaves with the promise to check back in soon, Lucy turns to Angela, her cheeks red and her gaze bashful as she eyes the bags the other woman had brought with her.
"Um. You said you'd bring clothes?"
Angela nods, offering Lucy a small, soft smile as she starts rifling through the bags.
"This one is Tim's, and —"
"Oooh, gimmie," Lucy says, reaching out as Angela pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a soft, worn t-shirt.
Tim makes an indignant noise.
"What amIgoing to wear? Your little leggings won't fit me, Luce."
Lucy shrugs, uncaring as she begins to wiggle around under the sheet, pulling his sweatpants on over her bare ass before tossing the sheet to the side. She tugs off her white uniform top, smirking at the choked noise Tim makes when she's mostly naked, and then tugs his t-shirt on over her head, sighing happily when she's finallycomfortable.
"When you carry the baby, you get the sweatpants," she says, and Angela laughs as she shrugs.
"Don't argue with mama," she advises, and Lucy grins cheekily up at Tim once she's engulfed by his clothing. It smells like him, like his spicy cologne and his laundry detergent.
It smells likehomeandsafe,and she sighs as she leans back in the uncomfortable Emergency Room bed, cocooned by Tim's scent.
"Okay," Tim says simply, and Lucy turns to stare at him with soft eyes, knowing that he'd never actually been upset in the first place.
He'd give her the shirt off of his back if she asked, she knows.
Especiallynow.
She reaches for his hand and holds it tightly as he sits in the too-small, uncomfortable chair he's taken up residence in over the past six hours. He winces and shifts around to get comfortable, and Lucy squeezes his hand as she turns back to Angela.
"I believe there was talk of food...?"
Angela chuckles and reaches for the third bag she'd brought alongside both of their go bags from their lockers. She opens it and Lucy nearlymoansat the scents wafting toward her as Angela begins to hand out smaller bags from one of Lucy's favorite diners.
"A veggie burger and fries, extra pickles for mama," she murmurs, handing Lucy's hers, which she eagerly accepts. "And a double cheeseburger with onion rings for dad."
Lucy watches a smile stretch Tim's lips as Angela refers to him asdad,and she can't help her own answering smile.
"Thanks for coming," she whispers, because while she'd been hesitant and nervous before, now she's justgladthat their friend is here, supportive, smiling, and with delicious dinner offerings.
"That's what friends are for, babe," Angela murmurs, and then she's pulling out a salad for herself and settling in, clearly here for the long haul.
No one speaks for a few moments while they eat, and Lucy is thankful for the quiet and calm. Today has been alot,and it's nice to eat in silence with the people she loves most by her side, her baby tucked safe and warm inside her body.
Once the food is eaten, though, Angela begins to twitch in anticipation, and while Lucy knows she's about to be peppered with a thousand questions, she's full and comfortable, warm and content in the knowledge that the bleeding she'd had today wasn't anything serious.
She'shappy,and so she invites the inevitable flood of questions with a smile.
"Go ahead. Ask whatever it is you're dying to ask," she tells Angela, and both she and Tim chuckle as a rush of words questions from her lips in rapid succession.
"When did you find out? How far along are you? Are you guys back together?Am I the godmother?!"
Lucy balls up her trash and tosses it in the direction of the trash can, doing a happy little wiggle when it goes in. She takes a long sip from the iced tea Angela had brought her while she processes all of her questions, and then turns toward her friend, tackling the easy ones first.
"I found out about three weeks ago and told Tim right away. I'm about twelve weeks along, and yes, you're godmother and Wes is godfather."
She and Tim haven't talked about it since she'd found out about the baby, but they had talkedbefore.
(Before Ray, before Tim walked away in the parking lot,before).
They agreed without hesitation that they wanted Angela and Wes to be their children's godparents. They'd decided that, should anything happen to them, they wanted their babies to grow up surrounded byfamilyandlove,and while they know Angela doesn't want to physically have any more of her own children, they also know she'd welcome theirs without a second thought.
"Thank you," Angela whispers, tears in her eyes as she reaches out to clasp Lucy's hand in hers.
She's so overcome with emotion that it takes her a moment to realize that Lucy hadn't answered one of her questions, and Lucy winces when she sees realization dawn in her eyes.
"Wait," she says, holding up a hand.
Tim chuckles quietly and Lucy sighs, resigning herself to answering Angela's final question the best way she knows how.
"We're not…nottogether?" she says, though it sounds more like a question than a statement. "We're… working on it."
"Baby steps," Tim adds, and Lucy nods as he squeezes her hand. "We never stopped loving each other. I just… I got in my head about everything that happened with Ray, and I made a stupid, rash decision that I've regretted every day since. Lucy is giving me a second chance, though, and Iwill notfuck it up. I'm in this, one thousand percent, for her and the baby."
Angela nods, one corner of her lips lifted in an amused smile. "Good. So, I don't have to give you the shovel talk, then."
Tim scoffs, eyes wide as he leans back, his free hand resting on his belly.
"You'remybest friend!" he says, his voice high and disbelieving. "You're supposed to be onmyside!"
"I thought adult men didn'thavebest friends," Angela shoots back, and Lucy sighs happily, relaxing into the mattress as they lob insults at each other from opposite sides of the bed.
"That's not thepoint,Lopez."
"I'll always be your friend, Tim, but I will 100% take Lucy's side in the divorce if you pull that shit again."
Tim's hand tightens around hers, and Lucy lazily rolls her head to the side to see him staring at Angela, lips pressed into a thin line and all traces of amusement gone.
"I will never hurt her like that again," he vows, and Lucy feels her stomach swoop at the intensity in his words.
"Good," Angela murmurs, leaning back in her own chair and lifting her feet to rest on the edge of Lucy's bed. "Because I know how to hide a body, Bradford. Do not test me."
Tim scoffs and rolls his eyes, and Lucy smiles as she lets her own flutter closed, relaxed enough to begin drifting away as Tim and Angela's voices fade to echoes in the background.
"Tim. Quitfussing,"Lucy snaps, and Tim stops mid-step, his bottom lip sticking out as he slumps in the middle of her bathroom, suddenly looking more like a kicked puppy than any grown man has the right to.
"I just want to help," he murmurs, and Lucy sighs as she kicks her discarded sweatpants into the corner. She walks over and wraps her arms around him, feeling the tension leach from his body as he sags into her, dropping his head to her shoulder.
"I know," she whispers, sighing as he holds her tightly against him. "I know you do, Tim. But I'mfine,I promise. I'm not an invalid. I can get undressed all by myself like a big girl."
Tim grumbles something unintelligible into her shoulder, but Lucy doesn't pry.
"I love that you want to be here, tohelp,"she says, and Tim sighs as he turns to press his nose into her neck. "But I promise I can get into the bath by myself."
"I just want to help," he repeats, sighing as she runs her fingers through his hair, her nails scraping along his scalp gently. "I thought… I thought I might lose you and the baby today, and…"
Lucy sighs and closes her eyes.
She knows he won't be able to relax for a while, anddoingthings, even if those things are driving her nuts, is his way of coping.
"How about you make us something light to eat," she murmurs. She's not particularly hungry, but the veggie burger Angela had brought her almost four hours ago before she'd been discharged is the only real food she's eaten today. "Soup, maybe. Or a salad. And … and can you make me some tea?"
Tim pulls back, already nodding, his gaze determined.
"What kind of soup?"
Lucy smiles and reaches for the hem of the t-shirt she'd stolen from him.
"Chicken noodle? Please?"
Tim nods and slides his hand down to her hip, reluctant to let go.
"Okay," he says, and Lucy whispers her thanks as she turns toward the bath full of steaming, lavender scented water that Tim had run for her as soon as they'd gotten home. She waits until Tim has left the bathroom, closing the door softly behind himself, before stripping off the t-shirt and her bra, her panties long ago thrown in the trash. She steps into the water and moans, the heat immediately doingwondersto relax her tense muscles.
She can hear Tim moving around in the kitchen and she sighs, sinking further into the warmth of the bath as she closes her eyes as she listens to the sounds of him moving around in her space so naturally.
It's been five weeks since he was last here, but it seems like just yesterday.
She wants himback.
She wants to wake up with him and argue with him and listen to him in the kitchen as she gets ready. She wants him in her spaceall of the time,and it's getting harder and harder to remind herself why she shouldn't just give in and invite him back into every faucet of her life.
Baby steps,she reminds herself, sucking in a breath before submerging her head underwater. She lets the water flow over her skin and soak her hair and then lingers there, wondering if this is how her baby feels before she slides back to the surface, sucking in a breath as water trickles down her face.
There's a knock on the door just as her fingers are beginning to prune, and Lucy turns her head lazily to see Tim standing in the doorway, his eyes on the wall opposite her.
She can tell it's taking every ounce of self control he has not to lookather, and it's weirdly sweet that he's keeping his eyes to himself because he's seen her naked a thousand times and she wouldn't even particularly mind if he looked now.
"Soup's ready," he murmurs.
"Thanks," she whispers, and he nods before turning and closing the bathroom door behind himself as she stands to exit the tub. She pulls the plug and wraps a towel around herself, eyeing the sweats in the corner and biting her lip in consideration.
She wants to wear Tim's clothes again, but they smell likehospital.
In the end she leaves them in the corner to be washed and returned (ornotreturned) later and pulls on a pair of sleep shorts and one of her old academy t-shirts. She runs a brush through her hair and then walks into the kitchen, something warm and heavy settling in her stomach as she watches Tim move around her kitchen like he's been doing it foryears.
He smiles when he sees her, holding up the bag of tea he's just pulled from the cupboard.
"Chamomile?"
Lucy nods.
"Sounds good."
Tim grins and pushes a bowl of soup toward her, and she thanks him softly as she climbs onto one of the bar stools, reaching for the spoon and taking a bite of the warm, savory liquid.
She moans as the flavors burst across her tongue, and Tim smirks as he seeps her tea.
"Good?"
"Mmm hmmm," she replies, and he chuckles quietly as she pulls the bowl closer, dipping the spoon in and chasing a noodle across the bowl. She's just about caught it when Tim's phone lights up with a text where it's sitting on the counter beside her, and she's opening her mouth to let him know he has a message when her eyes flicker across the words.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Hollie Benton
I'm free tomorrow at 2. I can't wait to see you!
She frowns, the noodle dropping off of her spoon as she quickly reads the words for a second time.
"Tea?"
Lucy looks up, startled, Tim's screen going black as he holds out a mug toward her.
"Uh… yeah," she whispers, the words echoing in her head as she takes it from him. "Thanks."
He smiles, light and carefree, and Lucy tries to smile back but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
Who isHollie?
Notes:
Oops.
Kudos and comments make me smile! ️
Chapter 12
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I caught Grey and told him we need to talk
after roll call. Is that still okay? Do you want
to wait for another day?
Tim stares at his phone, nervous as the three dots that indicate Lucy is typing appear and then disappear again several times. He knows Lucy is still hesitant to tell Grey about the pregnancy, but they'd decided last night after dinner that he needed to know just in case something happened again.
The three dots appear again just as Tim leans down to pull on his uniform boots, and he glances at the screen as he laces them up.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Today's fine.
Tim frowns as he reads her response.
She's been a little…off,since the hospital.
He knows that what had happened scared her and then he'd annoyed the hell out of her byhoveringall night, but the short text responses he's been getting from her since leaving her apartment make him uneasy.
He tries to think of what else could be bothering her as he ties his other shoe, but his concerns about Lucy take a backseat to hisownworries as he slides into roll call, meeting Grey's eyes as he takes his seat.
The older man raises an eyebrow at Tim as Lucy enters the room, tucking hair into her bun as she sits down, travel coffee mug in hand and uniform top still partially unbuttoned.
"Running late, Officer Chen?"
Lucy grimaces as she finishes buttoning her black uniform top over her white t-shirt.
"Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."
Grey tries to look stern, but Tim knows the older man has a rather large soft spot for Lucy and that there's no way she's in any actual trouble.
"See that it doesn't, Officer," he warns, though Tim sees when his lips twitch into a small smile as he shuffles his papers and begins roll call. "All right, we have a busy day today. We have four open cases from the night shift, which honestly isn't that bad considering they haven't done much lately other than sit on their own damn thumbs. So, here we go. Sergeant Bradford, since you're taking a half day, you and your rookie are on canvassing duty for Detectives Lopez and Harper this morning," he begins, and Tim nods and tries to ignore the confused look Lucy throws in his direction as Grey mentions his half day.
He doesn't want to give away his plans, to spoil things before he has a chance to surprise Lucy.
He's meeting Hollie at two this afternoon, and he's hopeful that today's the day.
Lucy stares at him a few seconds longer before turning around as Grey continues.
"Officers Nolan and Juarez, you get to talk to the bank managers at Bank of America Financial Center. They swear they had a break in last night but can't find anything missing, so have fun with that. Chen and Thorsen, you'll ride together today and follow up on a domestic call that came in last night. The wife declined to press charges, but it was noted in the file that she seemed hesitant because the husband was there. Visit her today and do a wellness check."
Lucy nods and Tim swallows around the sudden lump in his throat.
God, hehatesdomestics.
He hates whenLucyhas to deal with them, too.
"And, finally, Wrigley and Smitty, you have averyimportant mission today."
Smitty sits up a little straighter, and Tim smirks as he turns to look at the man. Grey stares at him, too, his lips pressed into a thin line as he tries to hide his amusement.
"Our coffee shipment didn't arrive on time, and as of twenty minutes ago, we're out. You two are to take the department credit card to Sams Club and stock us up. Andthis time,donotget decaf. If you do, you're on cavity searches for a week."
"Sir, yes, sir!" Smitty says, grinning as he salutes their boss. "I won't let you down!"
Grey stares at him for a second longer, and Tim thinks that anyone with even average intelligence would beterrifiedby that look, but Smitty just grins more brightly.
"All right," Grey says, nodding as he walks down the aisle to hand out the case files. "Be safe out there today. Keep your eyes peeled and be on alert. The heat makes people do crazy things."
Tim stands when everyone else does, his eyes trailing toward where his rookie is waiting for his orders.
He almost rolls his eyes when he sees her staring at him, waiting.
Three weeks in, and she still doesn't know what he expects of her each morning after roll call unless he explicitly tells her.
"Go set up the shop, boot! Don't just stand there," he snaps, and he nearly chuckles as she jumps in surprise before scurrying out the door.
"Think she's going to make it?" Grey asks as he walks toward where Lucy and Tim are lingering.
Tim shrugs. "I don't know, sir. She has good instincts but she needs to study and she doesn't take initiative. We'll know by plain clothes day, if not before."
"Well," Grey says, smiling as he comes to a stop in front of them, his hands resting on his duty belt. "I'd hate to be the rookie that had to follow in Officer Chen's footsteps. That's a hard act to follow."
Lucy smiles, ducking her head in pleased embarrassment as she gathers her things and stands.
"No one can live up to me," she says cheekily, and Tim finds himself smiling when she smiles.
(It's a little concerning how quickly his own happiness has become tied to hers, but one problem at a time.)
"You wanted to speak to me?" Grey asks, and Tim nods as he moves closer to Lucy.
"Yes, sir. Can we talk in your office?"
Grey nods and then turns to lead them into the glass-walled room, closing the door gently behind them. He leans against his desk, crosses his arms over his chest, and eyes them warily.
"Before you speak," he begins, holding up a hand as Lucy's lips part. "Is this conversation going to end with me transferring one of you to West Hollywood?"
Tim grimaces.
"I don'tthink so,sir," he says cautiously. "But… there's a chance."
He and Lucy have already talked about the possibilities, and if anyone has to move, it's going to be him. He already has a solid reputation and she's pregnant, and he doesn't want her to have to start from the bottom again when she'll be out for maternity leave before she knows it. Plus, Grey had beenjust aboutto tap her for TO.
They hope, of course, that they can both stay at Mid-Wilshire, but heisin her chain of command again and he knows it could cause issues.
Grey sighs.
"All right. Lay it on me."
Tim is opening his mouth to perhaps gently lead Grey to the news that one of his superior officers had knocked up a subordinate, but Lucy beats him to it.
"I'm pregnant," she blurts, and then she winces as her words echo loudly in the room.
Whatever Grey had been expecting, Tim knows, it wasn't this.
He stares at them, shocked and processing, and Tim grimaces as he fills the silence with nervous chatter.
"You told me to figure it out, sir, and we are. I'm in therapy — with someone who'snotcrooked this time — and we're trying again. Slowly, this time. But… yes, the baby was a surprise, and we know it could cause issues, but —"
Grey holds up a hand and Tim closes his mouth so quickly his teeth clack together noisily.
"Well, first off… congratulations."
Lucy smiles shyly as she glances at Tim, whispering a quietthank you.
"We had a scare yesterday," Tim murmurs, an uneasy feeling filling him as he remembers thepanicthat had overtaken him when he'd heard Lucy's voice over the radio. "And we wanted you to be aware in case anything else happened. Also, you know, for… for maternity leave and everything else."
Lucy nods, biting her lip as she nervously rubs her hands together.
"Right. And… I know you had talked to me about possibly testing to become a TO next month, and I wanted to make sure this wouldn't affect things. I've thought about it a lot, and if I test and take on Officer Herndon when I finish shadowing Ti— I mean, Sergeant Bradford, then Nolan would be finished training Celina when I go on maternity leave and he could seamlessly transition in and take over while I'm gone. I'd be back right in time for their graduation and I'd be able to take on a new rookie right afterward."
Grey raises an eyebrow as Lucy trails off.
"Thought about it a lot, have you?"
Lucy chuckles, nodding.
"I want to do it," she says shyly, smiling. "I want to become a TO. But, obviously, the baby is more important, so if I need to wait until the next test is given, then I can do that, too."
Grey regards them for a long moment.
Both Lucy and Tim are tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"We'll take it one day at a time," he finally says, smiling at them both. "This does complicate things, Officer Chen, but if your dates line up, then… then that plan could work. We'll have to wait and see how things go, of course, because pregnancy can be unpredictable."
"And… and neither of us needs to transfer?" Lucy asks nervously.
Grey shakes his head.
"At this point, no. You are both professionals and I haven't seen anything to indicate that you can't handle working patrol at the same time. And while Timistechnically your superior and a Sergeant, he's currently serving as a TO. If all goes according to plan,youwill be a TO next month, too," he says nodding at Lucy as he speaks. "Which means that the chain of command issue wouldn't be an issue anymore. So, one day at a time. We'll re-evaluate if we need to, but for now… congratulations, you two. I mean it. Dominique was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wish you both all of the happiness in the world."
"Thank you, sir," Tim murmurs, finally allowing himself a relieved smile as Grey steps toward them. He holds out a hand and Tim shakes it, and then laughs when the older man hauls Lucy into a hug. She squeaks and then hugs him back, and Tim watches them with fond eyes as Grey pulls back and whispers something into Lucy's ear. She nods and winks at him, and Grey brushes his hand down her shoulder as he steps back.
"All right, you two. You'd better get to it. Officer Janes is eager to get back out there after her day on desk duty. Remember to thank Officer Lopez for bringing herandyour shop back to the station yesterday, Bradford," he says, and Tim promises he will before he opens the door for Lucy and then walks out after her.
"Well, that went better than expected," he says, and Lucy hums as she falls into step next to him on the way to the garage.
"Surprisingly well, actually," she agrees, her voice soft.
"What did he say to you?" Tim inquires, and he watches from the corner of his eye as Lucy's lips twitch into a smile.
"Something along the lines oflet me know if I ever need to have him do Saturday night cavity searches."
Tim groans playfully and rolls his eyes.
"Good to know whose side everyone is on in the divorce," he says, though he doesn't blame them.
He'd be on Lucy's side, too.
Lucy bumps her hip into his and Tim grins down at her, the worry and unease from this morning evaporating at her good mood.
"Be careful out there today," he whispers, and Lucy nods, smiling up at him as she pauses by the garage door. Tim knows that both of their shops are ready, Aaron and Officer Janes waiting for them on the other side of the door.
"You, too," she says, and she's reaching out to put her hand on his arm when his phone dings with an incoming message.
"Sorry," he murmurs, reaching for his phone and fighting a smile when he sees Hollie's message pop up.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Hollie Benton
I have a full afternoon planned for us, Tim!
Be ready to go at 2, I think I may have found
exactly what you're looking for!
"Who's that?" Lucy asks curiously, craning her neck to see his phone as he locks it and slides it into his pocket.
"No one," he says, shaking his head.
He can'twaitto surprise her.
Lucy gives him a funny look though, and then blows out a frustrated breath.
"Fine, then. Don't tell me. See you later," she snaps, and Tim watches, confused, as she pushes open the door to the garage and walks through, not even sparing him a backwards glance.
What thehelljust happened?
Notes:
Poor, clueless Timmy. He's trying to do something nice for his baby mama but inadvertently making things worse. He could use some help.
(Be nice to Tim, he's a bit of a dummy even in canon. Remember when he tried to have Angela's bachelorette party at a bar? And be nice to Lucy, she's dealing with hormones and not trusting the love of her life post break-up).
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 13
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Tim is hiding something.
She'ssureof it.
"But, like,whatwould he hide?" Aaron asks, and Lucy sighs as she shrugs in frustration while driving slowly through mid-day traffic.
"I don'tknow,Aaron, which is why I'm ranting toyou.But he's getting text messages from some woman namedHollieandgrinning at his phone,and I want to believe he's not stupid enough to cheat on me, but with his recent track record, who knows anymore?"
Aaron scoffs and shakes his head vigorously. "Hell no. That man knows what he has — he's not cheating on you. Even when hebroke up with youit wasn't because there was another woman. He's completely gone on you, Lucy, ofthatyou can be sure."
Lucy tries to hide the little smile that Aaron's words bring to her lips because she'smad,dammit.
"But he is hidingsomething,Aaron," she murmurs, the little smile he'd managed to get out of her fading as she remembers the way he'd hid his phone and saidnothing."I have never heard him mention aHolliebefore. Not his therapist, notourtherapist, not his sister, nothing."
She tries not to think about how she'd never heard him mentionRaybefore, either.
"I just… I don't know," she whispers, sighing in defeat. "And we have our first couples therapy session tonight and I don't want to go in there guns blazing, but I'mmad,okay? Because he walked out on me and ghosted me over a phone call and now he's getting text messages from an unknown person and not telling me who it is."
"That's… yeah, that's a little shitty," Aaron agrees, but then he's turning toward her with a solemn look on his face. "But, Lucy, I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I think he just doesn't realize how it might look, you know? Because he loves you and I know he doesn't want to hurt you. He's probably just… not thinking. Because he's a man."
"And mensuck,"Lucy grumbles.
Aaron chuckles.
"We do, and I apologize on behalf of the less-evolved sex."
Lucy cracks a smile again, considering his words for a long moment.
"So, you think I should just talk to him?"
Aaron nods without hesitation.
"Yes. Just ask him point blank, and maybe remind him about what happened before and how not knowing who he's texting is making you jealous."
"I'm notjealous,"Lucy snaps, and Aaron holds up his hands in surrender.
"Fine. Anxious. He's making youanxious."
Lucy bites her lip.
Sheisanxious.
Every time he gets a phone call or text message, she's immediately on edge, her sympathetic nervous system wreaking havoc on her body. When his phone rings like it hadthat night,she immediately has sweaty palms, her heart races, and she feels like she might throw up.
She's been working on it in therapy, on deep breathing exercises when her body reacts that way and on coming up with positive affirmations to remind herself that Tim loves her and won't leave her again, but it takestimeand she's not there yet.
"Yeah," she whispers, slumping in her seat as she brings the shop to a slow stop at a red light. "Yeah, I get anxious whenever he gets a call or a text or has to leave suddenly."
"Right," Aaron says, nodding now. "And you need to tell him that, because Tim may be a cluelessmansometimes, but he's not vindictive. If you tell him, he'll make sure to be more aware of what he's doing. I mean, at leastIwould, if I were in his place."
"Yeah," Lucy agrees, nodding as the light turns green. "You're right."
Aaron smiles, content in a job well done, and then switches the topic to a TV show he'd watched the night before. Lucy listens only attentively enough to respond with the occasional nod orhmmoryeah?
Most of her mind is otherwise occupied, though, distracted with thoughts of couples therapy.
Tonight.
Tonight.
She's not sure she's ready.
She has alotof feelings inside of her, pushed down and ignored, and she's terrified that they're all going to explode out of her like a volcano of anger and frustration and insecurity.
Ready or not, though…
"Ready?"
Lucy nods even though she doesn't think she is.
Tim offers her a small smile and then his hand, and even though she's still annoyed at him for walking away from her this morning after answering another message fromHollie,she takes it.
She needs the support, desperately.
"Ready or not," she whispers, and Tim chuckles as he opens the door to the office of Dr. Yarrow, their couples therapist. The inside is nice, the walls painted an eggshell color and the furniture all matching dark wood. The lighting is low, no overly bright LED lights blinding her, and she breathes a sigh of relief as she shuffles across the carpet.
There's no receptionist, just a sign indicating that they should make themselves comfortable and that Dr. Yarrow will be with them soon.
"So we just… wait?" Tim asks, raising an eyebrow.
Lucy nods.
Her personal therapist has an office much like this.
"Yes. She likely has a separate exit from this entrance so that patients don't cross paths with each other. It's a confidentiality thing, and it gives her patients more privacy. I… I like when they do it this way. My therapist does it this way."
Tim hums as he takes a seat in one of the large, plush chairs. Lucy sits beside him and drops her hands into her lap, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as her leg bounces in anxiety.
Tim reaches out after a few moments and places his large, warm palm on her knee.
"Hey," he says, his thumb brushing the outside of her knee as he turns to meet her eyes. "It's going to be okay. You told me when we first scheduled this that it's like… it's like we're just talking to each other, but with someone to help guide us."
Lucy nods, finally offering him a small smile as her leg bouncing slows and then stops.
"You remembered," she whispers, and he nods.
"I was nervous, and you made me feel better about it. Nowyou'renervous, so it's my turn."
Lucy drops her hand over his as she smiles, her frustration taking a backseat to the overwhelming love and adoration she has for him.
She knows he's terrified to do this, but when he saw thatshewas nervous, he put that aside to help her feel better.
He's not cheating,she muses.
She knows that forsure.
She just doesn't know what heisdoing.
"Lucy Chen and Timothy Bradford?"
They both glance up, startled, to see that the solid oak door has opened and that there's an older woman watching them with a small smile. She looks friendly, a little bit like a TV grandma, and Lucy feels immediately more comfortable.
"That's us," she says.
She stands, still holding tightly to Tim's hand as they walk through the door into an open, comfortable room. There are floor to ceiling windows on the far wall, gauzy curtains allowing in a large amount of natural light, and a long couch across from the chair she knows Dr. Yarrow will sit in.
"Make yourselves comfortable," she says, motioning toward the couch. "Can I offer you water? Tea?"
Lucy wants tea, but she shakes her head 'no'.
"I'm okay," Tim says, clearing his throat as he sits down next to Lucy, only a few inches of space between them.
Dr. Yarrow notices their closeness and smiles.
"So, tell me about yourselves," she opens, and Tim sighs as he rubs his palms up and down his jeans.
Lucy speaks first.
"We're both cops," she begins, and she can't help but smile as she thinks about her and Tim's story. "Tim was my training officer during my first year, and during that time I wormed my way under his skin. He was a little rough around the edges when I met him."
Tim clears his throat, nodding as he takes over.
"I had just… my wife, at the time, had… she was a cop, too," he begins, and Lucy isso fucking proudof him for opening up that she almost forgets to be mad at him. "She was an undercover cop and she got hooked on drugs and left me in the middle of the night. I searched for her for over a year, and on Lucy's second day, I found her. Lucy saw me at myliteralworst, and… and for some reason, she still thinks I'm worth loving."
"Youare,"Lucy says, closing the final two inch gap between them to press her shoulder against his.
"I don't feel like it sometimes," Tim whispers. "And… and, uh, that's what caused all of this, Dr. Yarrow. It's why we're here, kind of."
Dr. Yarrow leans back in her chair, her legs crossed and her hands palm up in her lap.
"Tell me more about that. What do you mean that's why you're here?"
Lucy glances at Tim.
She doesn't want to tell his story, not unless he wants her to.
He nods at her, though, and she takes over for him until he can find his voice again.
"Tim has been through a lot, and he's already seeing another therapist for those issues. I know our shared sessions aren't going to focus on that trauma because he's already seeing Dr. Keller for that, but itdoesplay into what happened that led us here."
"Go ahead and tell me about it," Dr. Yarrow invites them. "If I understand where you're both coming from, I can help you better."
"There's a lot," Tim says, shrugging. "From childhood abuse to my time in the military, and it all contributes to me feeling unworthy. But the specific situation that caused this started about twelve years ago. I won't go into all of the details, but my actions led to several of my men getting killed. They died because ofme.And I never dealt with it. I shoved it down, ignored it, tried to pretend that it never happened. Except about five weeks ago, my past came back to haunt me.Literally.I got a call in the middle of date night, and…"
Lucy takes over here, and as she speaks she feels some of her earlier frustration building back up.
"He got a call and then he left. He said he'd call me when he could, but he didn't. For 36 hours."
"I couldn't—" Tim begins, but Lucy shakes her head, cutting him off.
"No, Tim, youcould have called.You had nothing but time. Anything, even a text letting me know you were alive, would have been better than what you did."
Tim hangs his head, and Lucy feels anger and frustration churning in her stomach.
She hates that she feels like she'shurting himby stating the truth.
"You could have called, but you didn't. Instead you showed up thirty-six hours later and pretended everything was fine."
Tim doesn't speak, and Lucy sighs as she scoots away again.
"And then after that, he broke up with me."
"To protect you!" he snaps, and Lucy rolls her eyes as she turns her body so that she can meet his eyes.
"I made my choice, Tim, when I walked into Angela's house and told you that I was on your side. I knew what could happen if the truth came out, and I decided to stick by you anyway. And thenyoumade a choicefor mewhen you walked away, and I might be alittle bitmore angry about that then I had realized."
She trails off and sucks in a breath through her nose, trying to calm her heart.
Dr. Yarrow doesn't speak for a long moment, and when she does, it's only one word.
"Tim?"
Tim shrugs, still staring at his feet as he responds.
"She's right. I made a choice for her, decided that she deserved better and didn't give her any say. I chose for both of us, and destroyed what we had."
"And now I'mpregnantand I'm having trouble trusting him but we have a baby on the way and we need to get this figured out," Lucy says, sagging back into the couch as she finishes what is averyabridged version of their story.
Dr. Yarrow digests their words for several minutes, and as Lucy waits for her to speak, she glances at Tim out of the corner of her eye. His hands are clasped together, his elbows on his knees and his head hanging between them.
He looksdefeated.
"All right," Dr. Yarrow finally says, leaning forward as she meets Lucy's gaze and then glances at Tim. "So, there's a lot of threads I could follow here and we'll cover them all eventually, but for right now I want to focus on something that Tim just said. He said'I destroyed what we had'.Lucy, is he right? Is it destroyed? What is our goal here? Are you two wanting to come back together, or are we working on being able to co-parent your child harmoniously?"
Lucy bites her lip and turns to see that Tim is staring at her.
Despite the fact that she's told him repeatedly that she loves him, he's still holding his breath as he waits for her answer.
"We're not broken," she says, and the relieved breath he lets out causes her heart to ache. "I love Tim, and he loves me. I want to be together again, romantically, but we both acknowledge that it's going to take a lot of work."
"Okay, good," Dr. Yarrow says, smiling as she turns her body. "And you, Tim?"
Tim nods.
"I wanteverythingwith Lucy. This baby,morebabies one day, marriage. I want to grow old with her. She's it for me, doc. There's no one else."
Lucy smiles, and then feels her lips slipping when she remembersHollie.
Dr. Yarrow continues on before Lucy can decide if she wants to mention the text messaging issue right now or not.
"Today I want to come up with some goals," she says, reaching for a notepad of paper on the table beside her. "As well as a timeline. Normally I don't like to operate on a timeline, but the baby kind of makes some of the goals we're going to set time-sensitive."
Tim chuckles as he nods, his hands clasped together now as he sits up a little straighter.
"What kind of goals?"
Dr. Yarrow taps her pen against her lips.
"Where would you two like to be, as a couple, before this baby arrives?"
Lucy chews on her lip as she thinks, but it's Tim that speaks first.
"I just want Lucy to trust me again, to trust me with the baby and her heart and our future."
Lucy reaches out to take Tim's hand, though she doesn't look at him.
"I want to be able to trust Tim," she whispers, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "I want to not panic every time his phone rings. I want to trust that, if he's late getting home, that he's just held up at work. I want to be able to trust what he says."
Tim's hand tightens around hers, and Lucy knows it hurts him that she doesn't currently trust him with any of those things, but it's her reality.
Shedoesn'ttrust him, at least not in that sense.
She trusts him with herlife,but not herheart.
"Well, it seems like your goals align," Dr. Yarrow says, smiling as she makes notes. "We'll also want to work on co-parenting goals and therapy goals for once the baby is born, because new parenthood is hard but therapy isimportant,especially in those weeks and months after birth. They can be exhausting and isolating, and it'sveryimportant that you keep coming to me during that time. We don't have to do this all today, though, and in fact, I'd like to end our session here soon, a few minutes early. I'm going to give you a homework assignment, though, and I'd like to see you again this week, Friday if possible. I think because you're on such a tight schedule with the pregnancy that I'd like to see you twice a week to begin with."
"Okay," Lucy whispers, nodding.
Tim, though, raises an eyebrow."Homework?"
Dr. Yarrow chuckles.
"Not like you're thinking. Not pencil-paper, essay-type homework. More… communication exercises. What I want you to do is this. I want you to schedule time with each other just to talk, every single day. Not about what happened that led to the breakup, unless you feel comfortable navigating that outside of therapy. Mostly I just want you totalkto each other. To get to know each other again, tolearneach other. Lucy, you feel like there's this huge part of Tim's life that you know nothing about, correct?"
Lucy nods.
"I want you to schedule time each day to justtalk.I have some talking stems and questions you can use if you'd like, to help introduce topics and bring up things you might not think to bring up on your own. I'll e-mail those PDFs to the addresses you filed with me."
"That sounds easy," Lucy murmurs, and Tim nods in agreement.
Dr. Yarrow, however, chuckles.
"It does seem easy, doesn't it? It should be. But there's a second part of this homework assignment that will be a little more challenging. When you're talking about the hard things, I want you to use 'I feel' language. Take responsibility for your feelings and actions, and acknowledge thatyou'rein charge of them. So instead of 'you make me feel so angry' try 'I feel angry when this happens'. It takes the blame out of your statements, and you'll be able to communicate more effectively. It's human nature to protect ourselves when others accuse us of things, so removing that from the equation opens up the possibility for deeper communication."
Lucy nods, mouthing the wordsI feelas she turns to Tim.
I feel upset when you don't tell me who you're texting.
I feel angry when you keep secrets.
She doesn't say either of those things, though, because they only have a few minutes left with Dr. Yarrow and she knows the conversation will take longer than that.
Instead she shoves it down and smiles, thanking their therapist as she stands.
They barely make it out of the door of Dr. Yarrow's office before Lucy finally can't hold it in any longer.
Tim turns his phone off of silent and when it immediately dings three times in rapid succession, everything she's been shoving downerupts.
"Who is Hollie?" she blurts, and then winces when Tim comes to a grinding halt next to her.
"Who?" he tries, but Lucy just rolls her eyes.
"I saw the text message, Tim, when you were making dinner.Hollie Benton.She saidI can't wait to see you.And I know you're not cheating, butI feelfrustrated when you keep secrets from me."
Tim gives her alook,obviously hearing the stressed words in her sentence.
"I… it's not what you're thinking, Lucy," he says, shaking his head as he holds his phone in the air between them, both of them wincing when it dings for the fourth time. "It's a surprise. Foryou.Trust me, please?"
Lucy considers it for a second, but then shakes her head.
"No, Tim. Idon'ttrust you," she whispers, and he sighs as she shakes her head. "I wish I did but I don't becauseeverysingle timeyour phone goes off, I'm thrown viscerally back to that night when you left. And I'm working on it, Iam,but right now I need to know who Hollie is and who you're texting because I … I'm not there yet."
She trails off, her gaze not wavering from Tim's as he stands there, his phone between them a physical representation of everything that's wrong in their relationship.
"Okay," he whispers after what seems like a small eternity. "All right. I'll show you."
"Showme?" Lucy asks, confused.
Tim nods.
"Yes, I'llshowyou. Get in the truck and I'll show you what I've been doing and who I've been talking to."
Lucy is more confused than ever, and shedefinitelydoesn't want tomeetwhoever this Hollie person is, but she trusts Timjustenough to follow him to his truck and climb inside.
Whatin the worldis he planning?
Notes:
GUYS THE SURPRISE IS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER AND I AM EXCITEDDDDDDD! Also remember things have to get worse before they get better, and we're about to get MESSY in therapy!
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 14
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
The drive is, in a word, tense.
Lucy is curled into the passenger seat of his truck, knees pulled up to her chest. Her arms are wrapped around her knees and she keepslookingat him in a way that makes his heart clench.
He knows it's his own fault that he's lost her trust, but every reminder still hurts.
He wants to earn it back, but he feels like he's fucked things upmoreby keeping this secret.
He'd just wanted tosurpriseher, but he should have looked at the situation from her point of view.
Taking personal days.
Secret text messages.
Fuck,the messages.
Just like with Ray.
"I'm sorry, Luce," he whispers, his hands tightening on the wheel as he turns the truck onto a quiet, residential street. "I should have considered how trying to surprise you might come across. I should have told you I was planning a surprise, at the very least, so you knew that was why I was texting people and spending so much time away from you and from work."
Lucy shrugs. "It's okay," she whispers, but Tim shakes his head.
"No, Luce, it's not. I need to be more aware of your perspective if this is going to work between us. I didn't even consider how it might look, which was stupid."
Lucy turns her head toward him, resting her ear on her knee as she watches him drive. Tim canfeelher gaze, but he keeps his eyes on the road as he navigates the streets slowly.
She doesn't speak for a long time.
"I was worried you might leave again," she finally whispers, and her words confirm Tim's suspicions that everything he'd been doing had reminded her of when he'd left her because ofRay.
"I'm sorry," he says, clenching his jaw.
God, he just keeps fucking up.
"I really… I really just wanted to surprise you. I wanted to… well, you'll see. We're here."
Lucy glances up, her feet sliding down the bench seat until they're on the floor, her body turning so that she can glance out of the passenger window.
They're sitting in front of a cute, one story house, a winding path leading to the door. It's surrounded by garden beds with mature flowers, vines, and bushes, and there's a huge, crooked tree in the front yard that nearly covers the bright red door from their view.
Lucy turns to Tim, confusion painted on her face as she looks around the quiet, quaint neighborhood.
"What… what are we doing here, Tim?"
Tim smiles and climbs out of the truck, quickly walking to her side and opening her door. She takes the offered hand, and then they walk to stand in front of the white picket fence surrounding the house. The sun is beginning to set, and the lights from inside glow softly as fireflies zip in front of their faces.
Tim watches as comprehension begins to dawn on Lucy's face.
"Did you buy us a house?" she asks, her voice high and disbelieving.
Tim smiles and shrugs.
"Yes, and also no," he says, grinning crookedly as Lucy shoots him an annoyed look at his non-answer.
"What doesthatmean?" she asks, and Tim's smile grows as he reaches out to open the picket fence and usher her inside of the yard. The path leading to the door is cobblestone, and he watches as Lucy walks along it, her eyes darting from the red door to the ancient, crooked and gnarled tree in the front yard.
"It means Iam goingto buy a house. I learned my lesson, Luce, about making decisions for you, so I'm not going to buy you a house without yourinput.I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb. So I had Hollie — my realtor — do all of the legwork. I gave her all of your non-negotiables, my budget, and a deadline, and she found six houses that meet all of the criteria. I was going to bring you to tour them next week when we had a day off together."
Lucy finally tears her gaze away from the house, turning to Tim with parted lips, her brown eyes bright and filled with emotion.
"You're going tobuy us a house?"she asks again, and again, Tim shakes his head.
"No, Luce," he murmurs, sliding his hands from his pockets so that he can rest one on her hip and brush hair out her gaze with the other. "I'm going to buyyoua house. Your name is the only name on the contract. You said you need more room for you and the baby. So, I'm giving you more room. This one is three bedroom, two bathrooms, but Hollie found a few with all of your specifications that have up to four bedrooms."
Lucy holds up a hand between them, shaking her head despite the smile that's slowly inching its way onto her lips.
"Hold on. How do youknowmy non-negotiables?"
Tim blushes at this, his gaze leaving hers as he studies the tree in the front yard intently.
It would be a nice tree to hang a baby swing from...
"Remember that one night a few months ago, when we were laying in bed and talking about our dream homes?"
Lucy nods slowly.
"You told me everything you wanted in a house. An open floor plan, lots of natural light, room to have family and friends over, and a backyard made for nights with loved ones."
He knows there's more but he's running out of fingers to tick them off because he refuses to move his hand from her waist.
"You remembered?" Lucy whispers, disbelief coloring her words.
Tim smiles bashfully.
"After you fell asleep, I wrote it all down," he admits, and he hears the soft noise of emotion Lucy makes before she wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his chest. He wraps his arms around her and smiles into her hair, rocking them side to side as the fireflies surround them.
"I'm biased to this one, Luce, because the backyard isbeautiful.It's… god, you're going to love it. But there are five more to look at, too. Hollie can take us on a tour of all of them when we're both off work and you can choose your favorite. I'll put an offer in and it'll be yours before you know it. We can get you moved in before the baby gets here, decorate a nursery together."
"Youshould love it, too," Lucy murmurs, and Tim smiles because while he's planning on buying it forher,he hopes he'll live in the house she chooses one day, too.
"I love all of them," he says, and it's true.
There's not a single house he and Hollie had looked at that hehadn'tloved, that he couldn't imagine himself raising a family with Lucy in.
If he's honest, though,thishousehas his heart.
He loves its red door and its backyard and the slanted ceilings in the master bedroom, the wooden cabinets in the bathrooms and the open kitchen and living room area.
He can imagine little feet running through the halls, and long nights on the back porch and in the little garden with friends and family.
He can imagine growing old here, with Lucy and their babies and Kojo.
"I love this one," Lucy whispers, and then she freezes in his arms before pulling back, her eyes wide with sudden realization. "Oh, god, Tim, themoney!Houses are so expensive right now, you shouldn't… youcan't…"
Tim shushes her with a finger on his lips.
"I have the money from selling my dad's house, and I can't think of a single betterfuck youto him than to buy a house to raise a family in with it."
Lucy stares at him for a long moment, and then she's grinning, her eyes sparkling with emotion and unshed tears.
"God, I love you," she whispers, and then she's pushing onto her tiptoes and grabbing his face in her little hands, pressing her lips to his as she crowds into his space, her body warm and soft andperfectagainst his.
She kisses him for a long moment and then falls back to her feet, her cheeks pinks and her expressionincandescentlyhappy.
"This is…Tim,"she whispers, and he shrugs as he smiles softly at her.
"You deserveeverything,"he murmurs softly, brushing his thumb across her cheek before leaning down to press his lips to her forehead. "You deserve a beautiful house to raise our baby in, a neighborhood where you can walk with them and they can ride their bikes on the street. You deserve a house full of nothing but love, Lucy, and I want to give that to you. I want your family,ourfamily, to be everything my family never was, and a house to raise those babies and dogs in is just the tip of what I want to give you during the rest of our lives together."
Lucy's openly crying by the time he finishes speaking, but her lips are pulled into a wide smile that reveals her dimples. Tim leans down and kisses each one, and then catches her gaze. She nods, and then he kisses her again, slow, soft, her lips warm and soft and wet under his.
"I love you," he whispers, and she stifles a sob as she lays her head on his chest.
"I love you, too," she breathes, and he smiles toward the sky as his hand cups the back of her head the same way he had when he'd walked away from her in that goddamn parking lot.
Lucy pulls back from the hug eventually, though, pressing one finger in the middle of his chest as she meets his gaze, her own sparkling in the bright pink sunset that's painted across the sky.
"But you're puttingboth of our nameson the contact, Tim. This isn'tmyhouse, it'sour house."
Tim nods slowly, already knowing he'll do whatever she wants.
"I wanted it to be your choice," he whispers. "This isn't asmall dose,Luce. It's ahugegesture. And I didn't want to push you too far too soon or scare you away. It'syourhouse until you're ready for it to beour house,no matter how long that takes. Not a second sooner, Luce. I'll live at my house or one of the extra bedrooms or even in a tent in the backyard until you're ready, okay?Yourpace."
Lucy nods slowly, smiling wetly as she turns to press her back against Tim's chest as she stares at the house in front of him.
Tim kisses her head and then wraps his arms around her, both hands settling over her belly as they stand there together, swaying in the evening air.
"It's a beautiful house," she whispers, and Tim has to hide a grin in her hair because he's secretly hoping she'll choose this one.
It looks beautiful, but more important, itfeelslike it could be theirhome.
Notes:
I hope Tim's surprise didn't disappoint! Comments and kudos make me happy! This is the chapter I imagined when I first started writing this fic, and I'd love to know what you think!
The house:
Chapter 15
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
The next several days fly by, and while Lucy knows that she and Tim have a lot more healing to do, a lot more messy, complicated issues to tackle in therapy, she'sexcited.
Ahouseseems like a very solid, important step forward.
Surely Tim wouldn't buy them —her— ahouseif he weren't in this for the long haul.
(She knows that he is, logically, but she's having trouble getting her heart to agree.
The house, somehow, makes it easier).
The day before they're supposed to view all of the houses, Tim catches her outside of the locker room after a long shift, and she smiles at him as she slings her backpack over her shoulder.
"Is tomorrow still good for looking at the other houses?" he asks, and she nods as she moves closer to him to let another officer pass by.
"Yes," she agrees easily.
She's already fallen desperately in love with the one he showed her, though. After going their separate ways that night, he'd emailed her the link with photos of the inside of the house, and it'sperfect.
The only reason she'd let him talk her into viewing the others is because some of them have four bedrooms, and she knows that, one day, they mayneedthat extra space.
Shehopesthat one day they'll need that extra space, at least.
But the first house…god,she loves it. And three bedrooms will tide them over forat leastthree kids, because if they have multiples of the same gender, they can share until they're older.
It would be a good house tostarttheir family in, at least, and they could always look for a bigger house or renovate down the road if needed.
"I'll pick you up at eight," Tim says, and when Lucy groans at the thought of waking up so early on her first day off in over a week, he chuckles softly. "I'll make it worth your while, Luce. I can bring Nevins," he offers, and while the idea of waking up early is a terrible one considering the exhaustion this pregnancy is plaguing her with, the thought of seeing houses with Timanda chai latteanda chocolate croissant is almost enough to make up for it.
Tim grins like he knows he has her hooked, and she rolls her eyes as she swats her arm.
It's notherfault the baby is hungry for chocolate croissants.
"I want—" she begins, but Tim chuckles again as he drops his hand to her elbow to begin leading her in the direction of the parking garage.
"A chai latte and a chocolate croissant," he recites, having long ago memorized her order. "Anything else? Anything for the baby?"
Lucy considers his offer carefully.
Normally she'd feel self conscious ordering more food than normal, but it turns out that once the pregnancy nausea had begun to pass, an all consuminghungerhad hit her.
Growing a whole new human, apparently, makes youhungry.
All of the goddamn time.
And it's not like she's gaining a bunch of weight or anything (less than her doctor had expected, even), so she knows the extra calories are going toward growing extra organs and hearts and bones.
Still, she feels nervous asking formore.
She doesn't want to seem greedy.
"Can you bring me one of their bear claws, too?" she whispers, biting her lip as she glances toward the ground.
Looking at houses from eight to noon soundsexhausting,and while Tim had promised her lunch afterward, she knows she's going to be hungry halfway through.
Tim nods easily as they walk into the elevator together. He punches the button for the parking garage and leans against the wall next to her, the space between them just a few weeks ago completely gone.
"Of course I can," he says. "I know that you've been more hungry than normal recently and that touring six houses will be exhausting after seven back-to-back patrol shifts."
Lucy smiles and turns to let her eyes linger on the way he's leaning against the back wall of the elevator, his hands in his pockets and his lips turned up in an easy smile.
"Thank you," she whispers, reaching out to touch his arm. Her fingers linger for a long moment on the soft material of his henley, but he doesn't seem to mind.
She very much wants to kiss him, but she hasn't since they'd stood outside of the house he'd brought her to.
The house he wants tobuy for her.
"Anything my girls want," he murmurs, and she chuckles as she drops a hand to her belly.
"We don'tknowthe baby's a girl, Tim," she admonishes him.
He just shrugs.
"I have afeeling,"he says, and Lucy laughs again because of all the people in the world, sheneverwould have expectedTim Bradfordto be the one to base his predictions on afeeling.
"What if it's a boy?" she asks, because she doesn't have any strong intuition one way or the other, and she knows she'll be happy either way.
She hopes Tim will be, too.
His smile slips a little bit, though, and Lucy's fingers tighten on his arm.
"I… I'll be honest," he whispers, his eyes not meeting hers any longer. "I'd be a little nervous if it were a boy."
"Why?"
The elevator dings to announce their arrival to the parking garage but neither of them move for a long moment. Lucy eventually sticks a hand out to keep the door from closing, and then tugs on Tim's henley where she's still resting her hand.
He follows her out of the elevator and then shrugs as they stand in the middle of the concrete structure.
"My father," he says, and Lucy's stomach swoops as his words, whispered softly, wash over her. "He… I don't know how to explain it, but… but what if I can't be a good dad to a boy because of him?"
Lucy makes a noise and pulls Tim toward her, wrapping her arms around him and resting her cheek on his chest. She can feel his heart beating rapidly under her ear, and she sighs as she feels him tentatively return her hug.
She remembers the night she'd stood outside of his father's hospice room, the way she'd held him then, too.
"You'renothinglike your father," she whispers fiercely, pulling back to meet his gaze as she continues. "Tim, you will be anamazingfather to this baby, no matter what. Boy or girl, you're going to love them fiercely. You will never,everbe likehim."
Tim clears his throat and nods, and while Lucy knows he doesn't believe her words yet, she knows they're true.
He's going to be thebestdaddy to their baby.
She resolves to bring the issue up in therapy before their 20 week appointment, just in case their babyisa boy.
"I promise," she whispers, smiling softly as she brushes her thumb across his cheek. "Iknowyou, Tim, and whilewehave had our ups and downs, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you willneverhurt our child the way your father hurt you."
Tim nods, and Lucy knows he doesn't believe her but she's willing to let it drop for today.
He'll see.
Once their baby is in his arms…
"I'd kind of like a little girl, too," she says, purposely changing the subject as they begin to walk in the direction of their vehicles. "So, you know, if we don't get one on the first try…"
Tim chuckles and smiles down at her, and while it doesn't quite reach his eyes, it's an improvement.
"Yeah? You want more than one?"
Lucy nods eagerly. "Yeah. Not right away, of course. Not until we are in a better place. And I'd like to get settled into being a TO and see if it's what I want to do long term before getting pregnant again, but I was an only child, Tim, and I don't want that for our baby."
"I want three," he says, pausing as they reach her car. "I always have. More would be okay, too, but I've always wanted at least three kids."
Lucy grins. "I can work with that."
Tim smirks, and Lucy wonders if he's thinking about the baby-making process the way she suddenly is.
She's willing to put in the work to build their family, and she knows Tim will be, too.
After all, they'reverygood at it.
"So, when we look at houses tomorrow, we should keep that in mind," he murmurs, and Lucy nods despite the sudden warmth filling her stomach.
Thinking about having more babies with Tim isdoing itfor her.
Tim smiles, his eyes roaming her face lazily, and Lucy knows her cheeks are pink but she's refusing to acknowledge that fact.
As much as she loves Tim and wants him back in her life (and her bed), she knows they need to keep things chaste and slow for now. They haven't evenkissedsince they'd stood outside of the house he'd shown her, and despite how much she wants it, she's determined to do thisright.
"See you tomorrow," she whispers, and despite wanting to haul Tim homewith her,she lets him go, watches as he walks to his truck and climbs inside.
Baby steps.
Small doses.
She just wonders how long she can keep goingslowlywhen the pregnancy is making her hormones go wild.
The next morning Lucy is still partly asleep andverygrumpy when Tim shows up.
He raises an eyebrow at her and she grunts, taking her Chai Latte from him before walking back into her bedroom and kicking the door closed behind her. She can hear him chuckling as he stands in her kitchen, but she ignores him as she goes back to staring at the explosion of clothing covering her bed and dresser and floor.
Although, considering this ishis fault,maybe sheshouldn'tignore him.
Maybe she should yell at him.
"This is your fault!" she shouts, slamming the door open again and glaring at Tim as she motions toward where her jeans no longer button. She's wearing a sports bra and had been in the middle of trying to get dressed when she'd realized that the pants she'd chosen no longer fit, and she'd almost made it through her entire wardrobe of bottoms before Tim had knocked on her door.
"Oh," Tim whispers, and Lucy thinks that maybe he missed thevitriolin her voice because he's grinning widely as he walks toward her.
"My pants don't fit," she clarifies, just in case he hadn't realized her intention."Noneof them, Tim. It's too damn early in this pregnancy for my pants tonot fit."
"You…god,you're beautiful," he whispers, and Lucy makes a small, confused noise as he stops in front of her, his hand hovering over her belly.
Which…
Oh.
He hasn't seen her naked inweeks.
He hasn't seen the soft swell of her lower stomach.
It's not even abumpyet.
She doesn't even lookpregnant,really.
She just looksbloated,a teeny-tiny swell right below her belly button making it difficult to wearanythingin her closet.
But Tim seems to bein awe,and she feels the anger slowly seep from her body as he catches her gaze, asking for permission before he touches her. She nods, and then watches as his hand fits over her belly, covering the entire swell of her lower stomach with one palm as he gasps in surprise.
"That's our baby," he whispers, and fuck her hormones because she goes fromangryto nearlysobbingwith emotion in less than a second.
"It's probably mostly the burrito I ate at three in the morning," she whispers, and Tim chuckles but shakes his head.
"I'll buy you new pants," he says, smiling as he brushes his thumb along the little swell that may or may not be bean burrito. "We can go shopping after lunch."
"I can wear a dress for now," Lucy murmurs, and Tim nods as he follows her back into the bedroom. His hand drops from her stomach as she wiggles back out of her pants, but he doesn't stay away for long. Once her jeans are discarded he's back, his fingers trailing along the skin just above her panties, tracing the swell of her stomach as she scans her closet.
"We'll have to start telling people soon," he murmurs as she swats at his hand so she can pull on a yellow sundress. "Other than Grey and Smitty, that is. Once you start showing more."
Lucy feels a mix of excitement and fear at the thought of telling all of their friends, but she pushes it aside because it's not an immediate concern.
"We have a while," she says, shaking her head as she settles the sundress. It falls halfway down her thighs and then stops, and she has to admit that it's comfortable,muchmore comfortable than trying in vain to button her jeans. "I won't be showingthat muchfor a while. Though I will have to requisition more uniform pants soon…"
Tim reaches for her again, his hand settling over her sundress, and she chuckles as she lets him touch her belly for a long moment before reaching for her Chai again.
"Although if you keeptouching me,you're going to give it away," she says, raising an eyebrow as she takes a long sip of her latte.
"I can't help it," he whispers in wonder, his palm settling over her stomach. "That'sour baby,Luce. We did that."
Lucy grins into her coffee, letting one of her hands fall and press over Tim's.
"Yeah, we did, huh?"
Tim holds her for a long moment and then sighs, stepping back so that she can pull on sandals.
"Let's go find this baby a house," he says, and Lucy smiles, her bad mood completely gone as she follows him out of the apartment.
Notes:
This was mostly fluffy, sorry not sorry. But also, Ididdrop some hints in this chapter for future events and reveals.
Kudos and comments make me smile! Love you guys!
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
They're late to the first listing, and Tim has no one but himself to blame.
He can't help himself, though — Lucy is beautifulalways,but Lucy who is obviously pregnant with his child?
It's a miracle they made it out of the apartment, honestly.
Even now he almost turns the truck around because she's just sitting there,radiantin the light from the sun. She's wearing that damn yellow sundress that brings out her eyes and looks gorgeous on her, smiling and sipping her latte, her sour mood from the morning completely gone.
He watches her every chance he gets, at every stoplight, every stop sign, every time he can possibly take his eyes off of the road for a single second, and by the time they arrive outside of the first house Hollie is scheduled to show them, Lucy is flushed and embarrassed.
Tim exits the truck and quickly heads to Lucy's side, offering her his hand as she hops down. She rolls her eyes and he knows she can do these things for herself, but hewantsto spoil her and their baby.
"Ready?" he asks.
She nods, brushing a loose curl behind her ear as her eyes take in the house before them. This one is a quaint, two-story house with a large porch and a freshly manicured lawn. It's one Tim likes because of the size and location, but it hadn'tentrancedhim the way the house on Meadowlark had. The red door, the fairy lights in the backyard, the ancient tree in the front that he can already imagine putting a baby swing on — helovesthat house, and he hopes that, once Lucy sees the inside, she'll love it, too.
But he wants her to seeallof the houses, wants her to have as many choices as possible.
"Good morning!"
Tim is torn from his thoughts as Hollie approaches them, and he smiles as he slides an arm around Lucy's waist.
"Hey, Hollie," he greets, nodding at the older woman as Lucy tears her eyes from the house to greet their realtor. He notices her shock when she realizes how old Hollie is, and he almost chuckles because he knows she'd been jealous when she'd seenHolliehad been texting him, but he doesn't. "This is Lucy."
"Oh, sweetheart, it'sso niceto meet you," Hollie gushes, bypassing the hand Lucy offers and pulling her into a hug. "I've heard so much about you from Tim, and I have to say, you're even more beautiful than he described."
Lucy blushes and smiles, ducking her head as she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.
"It's nice to meet you, too," she murmurs. Tim buries his smile in her hair as he kisses her head, inhaling her shampoo as he guides her up the steps to the first house.
"So, we're on a tight schedule today," Hollie says as she unlocks the front door. "Six houses in one morning is no small feat. However, I think this is a good starting place. This house has four bedrooms and three bathrooms and is around 2,500 square feet. It has a nice backyard and is in a good school district. I understand that will matter soon."
Lucy nods and brushes her hand over her belly.
"In a few years, yes."
Hollie winks at her and then sets the combination lock on a small table just inside of the door as they enter. "Well, this house has it all. Let me show you around."
Tim dutifully follows Hollie through the house, though he's already seen it once.
It's nice and it has all of their requirements, but it's just a house.
It's not ahome.
By the time they're standing on the front porch again, Lucy seems to agree.
"It's beautiful," she says, but she doesn't have to say anymore because Hollie has been doing this for a long time and can read between the lines.
"But it's notthe one.That's okay! Let's keep looking!"
The second house they visit is an almost immediate "no" because Lucy doesn't like the neighborhood. The house itself is amazing, but it's not a place either of them really want to raise a family.
The third house is the first one that Tim had seen, a one story, ranch style home with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. It has a large back porch and plenty of room for both Kojo and kids to run, mature flower beds and large, towering trees.
"It's beautiful," Lucy murmurs once they finish the tour, and Tim has to agree.
"It's big enough to grow into, as well," Hollie adds, smiling at them as she shows them the fourth bedroom. "The schools are great, and it's a very family friendly neighborhood. There are always kids out playing and families walking around."
Tim can tell that Lucy really likes the house, but he doesn't want her to settle just yet.
They have three more to view, after all, and he wants her to see them all.
With any luck, she(they,hopefully soon) will be living in whatever house she chooses for a long, long time.
"Let's keep looking," he whispers, brushing his lips along the shell of her ear and smiling when he feels her shiver under his touch. "We can come back after lunch if you want to view it again after we see the others."
The fourth house is a 'no' because it doesn't have a large enough backyard, which Lucy declares is a requirement because she wants a swing set and a pool and plenty of room for their children to be in the sunshine and fresh air.
Tim has to pause and breathe deeply for a few moments when she mentionschildren,because despite the fact that they're taking thingsphysicallyslow, neither of them seem to be able to slow down when they're picturing their future.
A family.
Babies,plural.
He's already so overwhelmed by the idea of her carrying their first child that he can barelybreathewhen he imagines more.
He's always wanted children, but he hadn't realized how badly he'd wanted themwith Lucyuntil she'd told him she was pregnant.
The drive to the fifth house takes almost half an hour, which Tim had worried would be a dealbreaker, but he'd loved it because it wasaway.
Away from the city, from the noise and the pollution.
Away from the chaos and the crime and general pandemonium of their daily lives.
As much as he loves the house with the red door, he lovesthis housebecause it'squiet.
"I can hear birds," Lucy whispers as she climbs out of the truck, and Tim smiles as he nods.
"It's … peaceful."
They follow Hollie up the path to the front of the house, and Tim watches as Lucy's excitement fades when he sees how much work the place needs.
"It's definitely a fixer-upper," Hollie says with caution as she leads them through the living room and kitchen. "It's had a few price reductions in the past several weeks because the amount of work to be done is… substantial."
"This wallpaper…" Lucy muses, and Tim nearly laughs because he already knows what words she'd used to describe it if it were just them in the room.
Hideous.
Ruinous.
"It would have to go," he agrees, and Lucy nods adamantly as she wraps her hands around his bicep. She holds on as they walk through the rest of the house slowly, and when they come to a stop on the wrap-around front porch, she sighs and bites her lip.
"It's…"
Tim waits patiently, because he'd gone through the same juxtaposition of emotions when he'd seen the house the first time.
"If it weren't for the baby…" she continues, and he nods.
"It's going to take a lot of time and money," Hollie confirms as she re-locks the front door. "The area is beautiful and honestly its main selling point. There's land and it's soquiet,something you don't get a lot of in the city. But the house itself is a long-term project."
One Tim isn't sure they want to take on with a newborn underfoot.
"Let's see the last house," he suggests, and Lucy nods eagerly, the sparkle returning to her eyes as she remembers the house with the red door he'd taken her to only a few days before.
Tim had saved it for last because he wanted her to view the others with an open mind before touring his favorite.
The drive to the house takes a while, and Tim sighs as they return to the noise of the city.
He loves the quiet, but he also lovesthis.
"What do you think so far?" he asks, reaching out to brush his hand along her knee as he drives.
Lucy hums and considers for a long moment, staring out the window as she thinks. Tim allows her time to put her thoughts in order, to really process all the different houses they've seen today.
"None of them arehome,"she says, and he nods in agreement as she continues. "The first one was beautiful. It was big enough for a growing family and had everything we wanted. So, it's honestly near the top of the list. The third house, the one with the huge backyard, that one was nice, too. Those are the only two I could see myself living in, but…"
Tim turns to smile softly at her as he slows the truck to a stop at a red light.
"But none of them havespoken to you,have they?"
There's only a small amount of teasing in his voice as he asks the question because as much as he likes to make fun of her for her morespiritualapproach to the world, at least in this case, he understands.
The house with the red door hadspokento him, and it was really the only one he could imagine coming home to every day, the only one where he could imagine raising babies with Lucy.
"No," she agrees, and Tim is about to ask her about the house he'd taken her to the night she'd demanded to know who Hollie was when her stomach growls loudly.
They both laugh as Tim reaches for the forgotten Nevin's bag with her bear claw in it. He hands it to her and she thanks him quietly, smiling at him when she thinks he isn't looking as she chews thoughtfully on the pastry.
"I'd want to put a swing in the tree out front," she murmurs between bites, and Tim feels his heart clench in his chest because he wants to put a swing in the tree, too.
"Yeah?"
Lucy nods as she curls her feet under her on the truck bench. Her sundress rides up, and Tim feels just daring enough to reach out and rest his hand on her naked thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on her warm skin. She sucks in a breath but doesn't pull away, and Tim feels drunk on the feeling of her skin as he navigates the streets to what he hopes will soon be their home.
He knows, before they even go inside, that this is the one.
Lucy sighs and smiles, relaxing against him as they walk the little, cobblestone path to the front door.
"It feels like coming home, doesn't it?" he whispers, and Lucy nods as Hollie unlocks it and opens the door for them.
They tour slowly, taking in every detail of the combined kitchen and living room area. The dark wood, the natural light shining in through the windows, the hardwood floors.
"All of the appliances are new and come with the house," Hollie adds as Lucy opens the dishwasher. "The island was installed just a few years ago, and it really pulls the whole area together."
Tim follows behind the women slowly, his hands in his pockets as he watches Lucy take in the slanted ceilings in the living room and the fireplace in the corner. He watches her eyes sparkle when they reach the master bedroom, and chuckles when she squeals in delight at the clawfoot tub. There's a huge walk-in closet in the master, as well as plenty of linen storage in the hallway outside.
"The additional bedrooms are separate from the master area," Hollie says, her lips curled into the smile of a realtor who knows she has her clientshooked."But there's a small office right across from the master bedroom that could be used as a nursery. It's not advertised as a bedroom because it's only eight by ten feet, but it's close by and accessible for those midnight feedings."
Lucy pops her head into the room, and Tim knows she's imagining where she'd put the baby's crib and a rocker to soothe them to sleep on.
"Itwouldmake a sweet little nursery before the baby is ready for their own room far away from us," she murmurs.
Hollie eventually drags them to view the second bathroom as well as the other two bedrooms, and then she opens the doors to the backyard and steps onto the porch and if the inside hadn't sealed the deal, Tim knows,thiswould.
"Oh… my god," Lucy whispers.
Tim watches her take in the space with a small smile playing on her lips. The wooden back porch is big enough to entertain on and there's an additional concrete area for a grill and a fire pit. There's a small garden off to the side, and a large enough grassy area for everything she'd mentioned — a pool, a swing set, maybe even a garden. It's all fenced in, private, and he can imagine long nights with friends and family under the light of the moon in this backyard.
Lucy turns to face him with tears in her eyes, and Tim makes a distraught noise as he reaches for her, his hand cupping her cheek.
"This is it," she whispers softly.
"Yeah?"
She nods, her lips pulling into a sweet smile as she glances around the backyard.
"Yeah. This is our home, Tim."
Tim pulls her into his arms, smiling into her hair as he breathes her in.
Home.
It's something he hasn't had for a long,longtime, but he's hopeful that, soon, he'll share this one withher.
After putting an offer in on the house, Tim takes Lucy to lunch as promised. They get a table at a small cafe near the house with the red door, and they sit outside in the sunshine as they slowly sip iced tea.
"This feels good," Lucy says.
Tim raises an eyebrow in question, unsure what exactly she's talking about.
"The house. The baby.Us.I feel like… like we're finally headed in the right direction," she clarifies, and Tim smiles because yeah, it does feel like that.
"I think we are," he agrees softly, though he knows they still have more work to do. Couples therapy has beenheavy,and his individual sessions are just as hard.
It's worth it, of course, but he knows that healing comes in stops and starts.
"Promise me we'll keep at it," Lucy says, reaching for his hand on the table while the other falls to her belly. She brushes her hand over her dress, cupping her stomach in that way all pregnant women do, and smiles as she tightens her fingers around his. "Even when it's hard."
"I promise," Tim murmurs. "Even on the hard days.Especiallyon the hard days. We're worth it. Our family is worth it."
Lucy can't stop smiling even as she sips at her tea, and Tim watches her languidly.
He's not in a rush here.
He's not in a hurry or on a schedule, and he can take as much time as he wants justlookingat her.
He can —
"Sergeant Bradford?"
Tim startles, nearly sloshing iced tea out of his glass as he sets it down quickly. He turns, his simple slipping into a frown when he sees Officer Janes standing on the other side of the fenced in area of the cafe, her eyes flickering between his face, Lucy's hand on her stomach, and their clasped hands on the table.
Well, shit.
Notes:
There's quite a lot of drama/angst coming up soon, and not all of it to do with Officer Janes!
Comments and Kudos make me smile!
Chapter 17
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"So, are you and Officer Chen, like,dating?
Tim slams on the brakes of the shop and relishes in the press of the seatbelt against his chest, knowing that the shock to Office Janes will be much greater. He grins when he hears her sharp grunt, and then schools his expression before turning to face her, a scowl in place of the previous amusement.
"Have I given any indication that I want to talk about my personal life, Boot?"
"No, but —"
Tim cuts her off before she can protest.
"What you saw this weekend was mypersonal life,and therefore I do not want to talk about it with you. I didn't want to talk about it then, and I don't want to talk about it now. All I wanted on Saturday was to enjoy my sandwich and tea in peace, but instead, myBootshowed up out of nowhere and interjected herself into my conversation instead of walking past with her head down like all my previous Boots knew to do. And now you're bringing it upagain?"
Officer Janes sits in the passenger seat with her mouth gaping open, and when she doesn't speak for a few seconds, Tim assumes it's safe to proceed and pulls the shop off of the shoulder he'd driven it onto to yell at Janes.
He feels a little bit like the old TO Tim Bradford, and while Lucyhadmade him soft in some ways, he knows that he can't give a trainee like Janes even an inch or else she'll take a mile.
Case in point…
"I just think it's unprofessional," she continues once the shock has worn off. "You know, forher.Is she not thinking of hercareer?"
Tim clenches his jaw tightly enough that he can hear his teeth grinding as he sucks in a long, deliberately slow breath through his nose.
He can't actually wash a rookie out for talking to him, as much as he wishes he could.
He can, however, write up a blue page on her for unprofessionalism if she keeps this up.
Before he can decide what to do about the situation, though, his phone rings, and he takes the distraction for the blessing it is and answers the call before he verbally eviscerate his rookie.
"Bradford," he snaps.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?"
Tim winces and blows out a breath as he drives the shop with one hand. He briefly considers putting Hollie on speakerphone, but he doesn't want to give Janes anymore insight into his life than he already unwittingly has.
"No, it's fine. I apologize for being short with you."
"No worries, I figured you might be at work and I was prepared to leave a message, but since you answered, your offer has been accepted! If you have time to come down and sign the paperwork we can get the ball rolling on everything and get you and Lucy moved in as soon as possible!"
Tim smiles despite himself, the news that his offer on Lucy's house has been accepted going a long way to sooth his irritation at his rookie.
"I can come sign now. I can be at the office in ten minutes."
Hollie thanks him and then hangs up, and Tim reaches for the radio between the seats without even looking at Janes.
"This is 7-Adam-100 calling in 10-6 personal, we'll be on call for emergencies and back within thirty minutes."
Immediately after calling out, Tim reaches for his phone and dials Lucy, knowing that his words likely put her on edge the second she heard them over the radio.
"Hey."
He can hear the stress in her voice, and he feels something warm settle in his stomach at the realization that she'll always be worried about him, just like he will for her.
"Hey," he murmurs, biting back the softLucethat wants to follow his greeting. "Our offer was accepted, and I'm going to sign papers on the house. I didn't want you to worry."
"Thank you,"Lucy says, her voice suddenly much lighter."I appreciate that, Tim."
He's been working on communicating with her about his whereabouts and what he's doing whenever he can. He's trying to be more aware and respectful of how much worry he'd caused her when he disappeared to go after Ray, going as far as to share his location with her and never turn it off. She can see where he is at the press of a button, and it's given them both some much needed peace of mind.
"I'm putting your name on the paperwork," he says, glancing at Janes out of the corner of his eye as he flicks on his turn signal and heads toward Hollie's office.
"Yours, too, Tim,"she reminds him, and he chuckles softly.
"I know. But yours isprimary."
Sheis going to own the house, he's already decided, and when she's ready,theywill. In the meantime they're going to make equal payments on the part of the mortgage his down-payment hadn't covered.
"Okay,"she murmurs, giving in just as easily as the last time he'd demanded she be the primary owner."Dinner tonight?"
Tim smiles and nods to himself. "Yeah. I'll pick you up after shift."
"See you then. Love you."
"Love you, too," he murmurs, and then he's hanging up and gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands as he drives.
Janes doesn't speak for a long time, but when she does, his blood fuckingboils.
"She just doesn't seem like your type, is all," she says, flipping her hair out of her face and smiling as she meets his gaze. She slowly slides one hand over his arm, her fingernails scratching his skin as she wraps them around his wrist. "It seems silly of her to risk her career for, you know, afling."
Tim slams on the brakes harder than he means to as he pulls into a parking spot in front of Hollie's office, wrenching his arm from her grip and holding his wrist in his other hand as if her touch had actually burned him.
Itfeelslike it had, and not in a good way.
He stares resolutely forward, his teeth clenched so tightly his vision swims and his headaches.
If he were the Tim Bradford of three years ago, he would have already washed her out.
Yelled at her, tossed her out of the shop, and verbally humiliated her.
And hewantsto, but Dr. Keller has been working with him on calming down before reacting.
"Do not leave this shop," he snaps as he opens his door and climbs out. He meets Officer Janes eyes briefly as he glares at her, and her smug smile melts into something a little more concerned when she sees the obviousangerradiating off of him in waves. "Anddo notpresume to know details about my personal life, Boot. Especially do not presume to knowmy type,and never, I repeat,neverspeak about Officer Chen like that again."
"Sir—"
Tim doesn't let her finish.
He'sdonelistening to her.
"When I get back, we're going back to the station and I'm writing a blue page on you, Boot, for acting in an unprofessional manner toward a senior officer."
He slams the door and stalks inside of the office, pausing just inside of the door to take a few deep, calming breaths.
In for five, out for five.
Breathe.
He's only marginally calmer when he walks into Hollie's office, but there's something about signing the papers for his and Lucy's futurehomethat sets his mind at ease. He's even almostsmilingby the time he heads back to the shop, and it's only partly because he's going to officially write Officer Janes up and let her see the wrath of Sergeant Grey.
"I'd like to formally request to switch rookies with Officer Wrigley," Tim says, his lips pulled into a frown and his hands clasped behind his back as he stands in front of Sergeant Grey.
The older man raises an eyebrow as he lowers the official written reprimand he's been looking through since Tim handed it to him.
"Because of the contents of this blue page?"
Tim nods shortly.
"Yes, sir. I find Officer Janes actions and words to be disrespectful and unprofessional. She has on more than one occasion shown sexual interest in me, and today she took it a step further. It's all on the shop cams if you need to review it, Sir, but she made inappropriate comments about my and Lucy's relationship and touched me in an unprofessional way. Nothing that would cause me to make a formal complaint of sexual harassment, but she knows how to skirt the line. I don't believe continuing with me as her training officer is in either of our best interests."
Grey hums as he finishes reading the contents of the file, his gaze then flickering toward where Officer Janes is sitting at one of the desks in the bullpen. Tim follows his gaze, frowning when he realizes that Janes is staring right at them.
She should becowering,but she's not.
She's even almostsmiling.
What the fuck is herproblem?
"I would approve the switch in a heartbeat," Grey says, breaking Tim from his thoughts."Exceptfor the fact that, within the next month or so, Officer Chen will be taking over training for Officer Herndon."
Tim sighs, deflating as he realizes the implications of Grey's words.
"Which would mean that, if we switch andItake Officer Herndon now, Lucy would be training Officer Janes after she passes her test."
Grey nods solemnly, crossing his arms over his chest as he glances out into the bullpen once more.
"The other option, of course, is to wash her out," he says, and Tim sighs again as he brushes his fingers through his hair. "Are we there yet?"
Hewantsto say yes, of course, and a few years ago he would have without hesitation.
But Lucy has had more of an influence over him than he'd ever realized, and he knows that washing her out right now would be harsh.
"No, sir, not yet. If she continues then yes, in a heartbeat, but the kicker of all of this is she may actually make a good cop. It's …frustratingthat she's behaving in such a way that her career may be in jeopardy, because with proper training, she could be agoodofficer."
Grey drops the file onto his desk and meets Tim's eyes.
"Send her in to talk to me, son, and we'll go from there. If this behavior continues we can either transfer her to an entirely new station or wash her out, but for now, let me try talking to her."
Tim nods, smirking.
He's been on the receiving end of afewof Grey's "talks" over the years, and he has firsthand knowledge of how listening to Grey yell at you can make you rethink all of your life choices.
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
He walks out of Grey's office and turns toward the bullpen, his arms resting on his utility belt as his eyes slowly find Janes.
"Boot!"
She flinches and stands at attention, and Tim jerks his head toward Grey's office.
"Sergeant Grey wants to see you, and after you're done talking to him, you're desk bound for the rest of the day. Do our paperwork and don't make asinglemistake, or you'll be jogging behind the shop all day tomorrow."
"Yes, sir."
Tim watches as she hurries into Grey's office, and even after she closes the door, he can hear the loud, booming voice of their watch commander as he lays into her.
He just hopes Grey can talk some sense into her, because Lucy will be doing her week of ride-alongs soon, and if Janes says any of that shit while Lucy is in the shop, Tim willruinher.
Notes:
Sorry for the wait! Real life has been kicking my butt! I hope you like this chapter anyway!
A few little sneakies:
(1) Officer Herndon will be coming back soon!
(2) Lucy has her next OB appointment and an ultrasound coming up soon. Do with that information what you will.
(3) Lucy cakes her TO test within the next few chapters!
(4) Angst is coming, ya'll. Prepare yourselves! (Not relationship angst, though).
Comments and kudos make me happy!
Chapter 18
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of possibly sick fetus, discussions of selective reduction.
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
As Lucy approaches fourteen weeks pregnant the nausea leaves, but in its place comes theirritation.
Everything irritates her.
Every.
Single.
Thing.
"Celina, please for the love of god,stop."
Celina looks up from where she's innocently chewing her pancakes, her eyes wide and her mouth half open from shock.
(She hadn't beenchewingwith her mouth open, of course, because if she had Lucy would have lost it three bites in).
"W-what?" she asks in confusion, swallowing nervously as she lays her fork back down on her plate. "I'm sorry, what am I doing? I'm sure I don't mean to. I mean, I know I left my laundry in the washer for a whole day but Irewashedit and it was during my week of night shifts, so honestly I can't really even beblamedfor that. I—"
Lucy sighs and brushes a hand down her face as she repositions on the uncomfortable barstool.
"I'm sorry, it's not you. It's me. I just… nevermind. I'm sorry, I should just go back to my room."
She points behind her as she bites her lip, almost wishing shedidhave work today so she could use getting ready as an excuse. But both she and Tim had taken off in anticipation of their prenatal appointment, and now she doesn't even have a good reason to abandon her roommate who had just been trying to make pleasant conversation with her.
Celina reaches out before she can bolt, though, her hand settling on Lucy's arm as she looks at her with concern.
"Are you okay, Lucy? You've seemed kind of…offrecently, and your aura…woof.Talk aboutfluctuation.It's all over the place! I'd say it's because of the breakup, but you and Tim seem to be doing well recently,so…"
Lucy grimaces, her eyes not meeting Celina's as she grapples for an excuse.
"I…"
Nothing is coming to mind, though, and she deflates as she takes her seat on the barstool again.
The truth it is, then.
"I have to tell you something," she whispers, playing nervously with the string on her blouse as she stares at the countertop. "But you can't tellanyone.Okay? No one."
Celina nods, pushing her pancakes away and turning to give Lucy her full attention.
"I swear on my Abuela's grave," she says, her eyes wide and earnest.
Lucy sighs and sucks in a steadying breath, raising her gaze to meet Celina's as she whispers, "I'm pregnant."
Celina gasps, pressing a hand over her mouth as she leans back on her stool.
"Oh my god, that's so exciting! I mean, itisexciting, right? If it's not let me know and I'll try again. I can react differently if I need to."
Lucy laughs, some of her tension gone as Celina worries.
"No, itisexciting. It's okay, you reacted perfectly."
"And it's Tim's, right?"
Lucy rolls her eyes.
As if she's been sleeping around.
"Yes,it's Tim's. He knows and we're happy. We're … we're working on it, and we hope to be in a better place by the time the baby arrives. I'm about fourteen weeks, and I have an appointment today."
Celina squeals and then envelops Lucy in a hug which she happily returns.
Eventually she pulls back, though, her face concerned again.
"Okay. What did I do, though, that made you go off? I know pregnancy is hard, and whatever I did, I didn't mean to. I'll try not to do it again."
Lucy giggles, the tension and irritation from earlier completely gone.
"I doubt you'll be able to keep from doing it again," she says, blushing as she remembers what Celina had done to irritate her. "Um. You were… you were chewing too loudly."
Celina looks shocked for a moment and then bursts out laughing, and as Lucy joins her, she realizes that perhaps telling people won't be so bad after all.
"So, Celina knows."
Tim chokes on the other end of the phone, and Lucy winces as she realizes that he'd probably just taken a sip of coffee.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"She was chewing too loudly," she defends herself.
"Again: I'm sorry.What?"
Lucy laughs and flops back onto her bed, only one sock on and both shoes still on the floor. She's been trying to get dressed for the better part of the last ten minutes, but the only thing that fits is a dress and the only shoes that are comfortable are tennis shoes, so it's been a struggle to mesh the two clothing choices.
"She was chewing too loudly and the baby is making mecranky,Tim, so I snapped at her. And then I didn't really have a good excuse and I don't want her to think I'm an asshole and a terrible roommate, so I … I told her."
"Oh,"Tim whispers, and Lucy winces.
"Are you mad?"
"No!"he says quickly."No, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all. It's about time we start telling people, probably. Angela and Grey already know, and now Celina, so…"
"Hmmm," Lucy murmurs, smiling up at the ceiling as she considers. "Can we maybe have a bar-b-que? At the new house? We could tell everyone then, both about the babyandthe house. Plus, it would be fun."
"That's a really good idea, Luce. We close in about three weeks. Think we can keep the secret that long?"
"I think so," Lucy says, though she frowns down at her belly as she considers. "As long as my uniform pants still fit, we can keep it a secret."
"Surely the baby can't growthatmuch in three weeks,"Tim says.
Lucy chuckles. "You'd be surprised how quickly they grow, Tim. I'm going to getbig,andfast.I'll be a whale before you know it.
"A beautiful whale,"Tim murmurs, and Lucy feels ridiculous that she finds his words endearing no matter how stupid they are.
"You're going to be at my appointment, right?" she asks, sighing as she sits up to put her other sock on.
"Of course. I just dropped Janes at the front desk and I'm getting ready to change out."
"Perfect. I'll see you there?"
"See you soon, Luce. Drive carefully, okay?"
Lucy rolls her eyes but promises she will, and then sighs as she stares down at her shoes.
Why is puttingshoes onso exhausting?
She doesn't know, but she has a feeling it's going to get much worse in the coming months.
"So, tell me more about your emergency room visit."
Dr. Kovac is scrolling through Lucy's online chart and pauses when she gets to the entry about her hospital stay. She looks up at both of them before scanning the information that Dr. Patel had put into the computer.
"We had a scare," Tim murmurs, and Lucy nods as she reaches for his hand. He's standing next to her as she sits on the exam table, and she craves the comfort he offers as she talks about what had been one of the most scary times in her life.
"I was bleeding," she says, blowing out a breath. "It was a lot but it was over pretty quickly, but I went in anyway. They kept an eye on me for a few hours, but they didn't see anything concerning so they sent us home. Is… is the baby okay?"
She's been trying not to worry but she hasn't been able to help the nagging feeling that something could bewrong,the paralyzing fear that in the weeks since being in the emergency room, her baby's heart could have stopped beating.
"We're going to do an ultrasound today to check," Dr. Kovac says, smiling as she scoots her rolling chair closer to the exam table. "Normally we don't do another ultrasound until week 20, but since you had a scare a few weeks ago we'll do one today to put your mind at ease. And this one won't even be transvaginal!"
Lucy chuckles as Dr. Kovac motions for her to lay down on the exam table.
"Thank goodness forthat,"she whispers, squeezing Tim's hand more tightly as she scoots up to place her head on the pillow at the top of the bed.
"Shirt up," Dr. Kovac directs, and Lucy watches the currently blank ultrasound screen in anticipation as she pulls her blouse up to rest under her breasts. "This will be cold."
Lucy nods but barely reacts as she squirts the gel on her belly.
"Is everything else okay?" Tim asks, his free hand resting on the bed by Lucy's head as he, too, leans toward the screen.
"All of Lucy's blood work looked excellent, and she's gained about six pounds, which is a little more than expected but nothing concerning. You're in wonderful shape, Lucy, and from what you've told me your diet is exactly what it should be. Keep doing what you're doing and keep taking your vitamins."
Lucy nods, and then gasps when Dr. Kovac presses the ultrasound wand to her stomach, spreading the cool gel and applying pressure as she flicks the machine on.
"A little pressure here, Lucy," she warns, and Lucy nods but pays little attention as she watches grey and black and white flicker around on the screen. She doesn't know what's happening or exactly what she's looking at, but she takes comfort in the fact that she can see movement and what she thinks is her baby's head.
"Is everything okay?" she whispers.
Dr. Kovac is quiet for a long moment.
Long enough that Lucy can feel Tim beginning to twitch next to her.
"Doc?" he asks, leaning over Lucy to get a better look at the screen.
Lucy isn't one hundred percent sure what she's seeing, but shecansee the rapid beating of her baby's heart, so she knows that whatever has Dr. Kovac pausing can't bethat bad.
"It's…" she says, but she pauses as she moves the wand. "It's just that… baby seems kind of small, smaller even than noted in Dr. Patel's file, but…oh."
"Oh?" Tim asks, his voice slipping into the territory of TO Tim for a moment. "What do you meanoh?"
Dr. Kovac turns to them with a smile on her lips, her eyes sparkling.
"Look here," she says, touching the screen and tracing the shape of the baby's head."Thisis Baby A."
Baby A?Lucy wonders, but she doesn't have time to be confused before Dr. Kovac is continuing.
"Andthis,"she pauses and moves the wand again, and Lucy can see the ultrasound flickering before settling on the shape of a slightly smaller head. "Is Baby B. Congratulations! You're having twins!"
Lucy gasps and turns to Tim, her eyes wide and her heart thundering.
Twins?
She's havingtwins?
"Oh my god," she whispers, and Tim nods but he's not able to verbalize his response. He's just standing there, his mouth open and his hand slack in hers.
Twins.
"Twins?" she asks, turning back toward Dr. Kovac, her voice high and panicked. "Twins? As intwo babies that I have to push out of my vagina?"
That finally startles a laugh out of Tim, though he still looks spooked andfreaked outas he meets her gaze.
Dr. Kovac laughs, too, as she continues to take measurements on the screen. "Yes, Lucy.Twobabies. Do twins run in either of your families?"
Both Tim and Lucy shakes their heads, though Lucy winces and pauses when she remembers.
"Um, I don't actually know? I don't know my biological father. So… maybe?"
Dr. Kovac hums and then clicks and drags the arrow across the screen, and Lucy turns back to Tim, her eyes sparkling with tears as she glances between him and the screen that showsbothof their babies.
"Is everything okay? IsLucyokay?" Tim asks, finally finding his voice as his beautiful blue eyes fill with tears. "Aren't twin pregnancies more risky? Early delivery, low birth weight, and—"
"Tim," Lucy whispers, squeezing his hand to cut off his rambling. "It's okay. We'reallokay, right?"
Dr. Kovac turns to look at them, and Lucy hadn't thought anything about her long silence after asking if twins ran in their families, but now she's wishing she had.
"You are perfectly healthy, Lucy," she says slowly. "And Baby A is measuring right on track, even for a twin pregnancy."
Tim stiffens, and Lucy feels new tears,differenttears, fill her eyes.
"And Baby B?" she asks, voice low and quiet.
Dr. Kovac tries to smile but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"Baby B has a strong heartbeat. Here, listen," she murmurs, and with the flick of a switch, the room is filled with the echoing,thump thump thumpof a rapid heartbeat. Lucy gasps and closes her eyes, letting the sound wash over her as Tim leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead.
"But?" Tim asks, and Lucy thanks him soundlessly for asking because she's not sure she can do anything but listen to the proof that her baby is alive.
"Butthey're measuring a little bit small. Small enough that I'm going to send you for further testing, Lucy. They could just be small because sometimes twins are small."
Lucy nods, reaching up with her free hand to wipe the tears off of her cheeks.
"Or?"
Dr. Kovac continues taking measurements on the screen, humming as she types numbers into the computer.
"Orit could be a case of fetal growth restriction, which is actually fairly common in twin pregnancies."
She finishes the ultrasound, prints off a few stills for Tim and Lucy, and then hands her a wipe.
"Here. Clean up, and then we can talk, okay?"
Lucy nods and sits up, watching as Tim wipes the gel from her stomach before he bends down to press a kiss right below her belly button. Her hand slides over where his lips had been, cradling her babies as she reels from the dual realizations that there aretwo of themandone of them could be sick.
"Tell us," Tim requests, and Dr. Kovac nods as she flicks through the stills she had taken. She begins to point out the measurements of each baby, and even though Lucy isn't an expert, evenshecan see the clear difference in size.
"So, at 14 weeks the fetus should be about 3 to 3 and a half inches long. Baby A is measuring right on track — 3.35 inches from head to rump. Baby B, though, is measuring small at 2.76 inches. Like I said, it could be normal and it's possible that Baby B will continue to grow and catch up to their sibling by your twenty week ultrasound, but I'd like to do further testing to make sure. I'm going to send you for an ultrasound with one of my colleagues, a specialist in fetal growth restriction, to check on the placenta and blood flow of the umbilical cord, as well as an MRI to make sure there are no structural abnormalities that could be limiting blood flow to Baby B."
"Okay," Tim whispers, nodding as he brings his and Lucy's clasped hands to his lips. He kisses her skin and then holds their hands over his heart, and Lucy can feel the rapid beating underneath her hand as he tries to put on a brave face. "And… and what do we do if itisgrowth restriction?"
"Well," Dr. Kovac says slowly as she turns off the ultrasound machine. "There are options and risks that we can talk about if and when my diagnosis is confirmed by a specialist."
"I want to know," Lucy whispers, and though her voice is soft it's resolute. "If you don't tell me I'm going to go home and google everything and freak myself out. So… please. Just tell us."
Dr. Kovac sighs but nods as she rolls her chair closer, and though she's smiling, Lucy can tell that it's a facade she's putting on to try and not worry them.
"Please keep in mind that all of these possibilities are onlyifwe confirm the diagnosis. But basically there are two possible situations — one in which the growth restricted twin is not affecting the healthy twin, and one in which theyare.If the unhealthy fetus is negatively affecting the healthy one, we can consider endoscopic surgery to try and correct any abnormal connections between the twins, and if that doesn't work and the healthy fetus is in danger, we can consider selective reduction. If Baby Bisn'taffecting Baby A, we monitor you and let them grow as much as possible before we deliver. We will be keeping averyclose eye on all three of you, Lucy, and we'll take it one step at a time."
Lucy bites her lip to try and hold back the wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm her.
She doesn't understandeverythingthat Dr. Kovac had said, but she understands enough.
Selective reduction.
"I can't lose my babies," she whispers, her voice thick and wet. Tim wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, pressing his lips to her hair as Dr. Kovac smiles encouragingly at them.
"We don't even know for sure yet if the fetusisgrowth restricted," she murmurs, though Lucy knows it's highly likely if she'd mentioned it in the first place. "We'll start with the extra testing and go from there. Try not to fall down the worst case scenario rabbit hole, okay? Take a few minutes to yourselves, and come out when you're ready. We can schedule further testing with my colleague whenever you're ready."
Lucy nods against Tim's chest, barely noticing when Dr. Kovac stands and leaves the room.
She's gone from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in less than ten minutes and she feelswrecked.
"It's okay," Tim whispers, though Lucy can feel his tears in her hair as he kisses her head and rocks them both back and forth. "It's going to be okay."
She sniffles and nods, tightening her fingers in the material of his shirt.
She only hopes he'sright.
Notes:
SO? WHAT DO YOU THINK? Two pretty big reveals in this chapter!
Comments and kudos make me happy!
Chapter 19
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of selective reduction/pregnancy termination.
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Hey, Luce. How are you feeling today?
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
I'm fine.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Do you want company tonight? I feel like we
haven't seen each other all week.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
I really need to study.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
You've been studying too hard. You need to
take a break. Let me take you to dinner.
It won't take all night, so you can take a
breakandstudy.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
I'm okay, Tim.
I don't need to be micromanaged.
I'm fine.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I know you're worried, Luce. I am, too.
I know you're throwing yourself into
studying to ignore what the doctor said.
But we need to talk about it.
Please?
Lucy doesn't respond and Tim sighs as he drops his head back on his couch, staring at the ceiling with wet, hazy vision.
She's barely talked to him since Dr. Kovac told them they were having twinsandthat one twin could be sick.
It had been a day of high emotion, and after crying herself out in his arms in the doctor's office she'd basically shut down. She'd scheduled the follow up appointments with the specialist in two weeks time and was silent the entire drive back to the station where she proceeded to get in her own car and drive home.
He's seen her in the hallway at the station a few times since then, but they haven'ttalked.
She hasn't evenacknowledgedthat they're having twins.
Twobabies!
(He knows it's to protect herself in case something happens to Baby B, but healsoknows that they need to talk about it or it's just going to be one more issue simmering between them).
He wipes at his eyes and grabs his phone again, his heart racing when he sees a new message from Lucy pop onto the screen.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
I don't know if I can.
He replies with shaking fingers, backspacing and re-typing when he messes up.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I know it's hard. Don't you realize
I'm terrified, too? That I can't sleep?
That I spend every waking moment
scared out of my mind for you and our
babies? Because I do.
I love you and I love them,both of
them,and I'm so scared.
But I can't do this alone.
I don'twantto do this alone.
She doesn't respond and Tim sighs in frustration, tossing his phone onto the couch cushion as he stands and paces the length of his living room, biting his lip until it's raw and bloody as he tries to hold back the tears.
Twins.
He's havingtwo babies.
(Hehopeshe's having two babies).
He wants to be excited,ecstatic,even, but he hasn't been able to feel much other than soul-crushing fear and trepidation becauseLucy isn't talking to him anymoreand she broke him, damn it,she'sthe one who opened him up to talking about his feelings again and now whenhewants to talkshesuddenly doesn't.
"Fuck!" he screams, and his vision is blurry as he lashes out, his fist connecting with the drywall in his living room. It cracks but doesn't break, and the pain lacing through his knuckles is sharp and grounding. He hisses and shakes his hand out, and then sighs as he drops back onto the couch, the game he'd put on to try and distract himself with nothing but white noise in the background.
He checks his phone (nothing) and then drops his head into his hands, and then allows himself a single moment to give in to his worry and fear, the crushinganxietythat's plagued him since they walked out of the doctor's office over a week ago.
"She won't talk to me about it," Tim murmurs, and he shrugs as Lucy shoots him a glare that would bring a lesser man to his knees.
"I don'twantto talk about how one of my babies may die," she snaps, and though Tim can hear the pain in her voice, he also hears theangersimmering just beneath the surface.
Dr. Yarrow hums and leans back in her chair, her lips pressed into a thin line as she surveys them.
"Lucy, I hate to take sides as a general rule, but on this one… I'm afraid that Tim is right. You two need to talk about this, and this is a safe place to do that."
Lucy stares forward defiantly, tears in her eyes, and Tim hates himself for pushing her but he knows that they need to talk to each other, to share their fears and their worries. Nothing is concrete yet, of course, because their specialist appointment isn't for another six days, but they need to talk about thewhat ifs.
"You're the one that taught me that it's okay to have feelings," he whispers, and he sees Dr. Yarrow perk up at his words but she doesn't interrupt them. "Lucy,youtaught me that it was okay tofeel.You taught me that it was okay to be angry at my dad, tonotforgive him for what he did to me. You taught me that it's okay to be sad and to cry, that it doesn't make me less of a man. You taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable, to share the weak parts of myself, to let people in. And now… now I'm askingyouto share those parts of yourself with me. It's okay to be sad, Luce. It's okay to—"
"I'm not sad," Lucy interrupts with a sniffle as she turns to meet his gaze. "I'mangry."
Tim swallows.
"Are you angry at me?"
Lucy bites her red, swollen lip as she considers, but eventually shakes her head.
"No, not really?" she says, and she sighs as she shrugs, tearing her gaze from his as her tears begin to fall. "I'm justpissed.Ateverything.And okay, yes, atyou.I'm fucking pissed at you for breaking us apart. I'm pissed at you for ruining what was the best relationshipof my life.I'm pissed at the universe for giving me these babies and then trying to take one of them away. I'm angry at the fucking station and everyone in it because I was supposed to be adetective,Tim, but now I'm stuck studying for the TO Exam. And it's a good career path, it's great, even, but it's not what Iwanted.What Iwantedwas ripped from me because of an old white man's fuckingego.I'mfucking madat Primm, at a system thatletsold, white men dictate the entire career paths ofgood cops.I'm mad at Grey for not going to bat for me and fighting Primm even though I know it's notfairto be mad at him. I'm mad at Angela and Nyla because they have sway with Detective Caradine but they never eventried,never even said a word to him about me.I'm mad atmyselffor putting everything on the line for a man who walked away from me. I ruined my career for you, Tim, do you realize that? And then you walked away. Youleftme. And I know you didn't ask me to do any of it but I'm mad at myself for believing you when you said we were worth the risk and I'm mad at myself because I'm supposed to be moving on,weare supposed to be moving on, but I can't seem to."
Tim sits, frozen, as Lucy's chest heaves with her rapid breathing. Her cheeks are red and there are tears streaming down her face.
"And I thought I was moving on," she says, her voice falling to a whisper as her anger peters out. "I thought we were doing okay. I was… I washappy.Ecstatic to buy a house. Hopeful that we were on the right path. But then we got the news about the babies, and… and it's like everything I had been working on justcrumbled."
Silence falls for a long moment, a silence that Tim doesn't even have the first idea how to fill.
He's frozen in place, his chest aching and his eyes burning.
I'm pissed at you for believing you when you said we were worth the risk.
Oh, god.
"And Iwantto be happy, Tim," she says, her voice a mere whisper now. "I'm excited about being a TO and I'm… I'moverjoyedby the fact that I'm going to be a mom. I just… I don't know where all of thisangercame from but it's been simmering and…"
She trails off and doesn't continue even after several long moments.
Tim doesn't speak, either.
What can he evensay?
She's right, and she's justified in her anger.
Dr. Yarrow eventually fills the silence, which Tim is eternally grateful for.
"Lucy, you just shared a lot of feelings. Veryvalidfeelings. And I want you to realize that healing,moving on,isn't linear. You were happy last week when you and Tim bought a house. That's real and valid. Just as real and valid as the anger you're feeling now. Hurt and healing take time. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon, and that marathon isfullof ups and downs. One day you'll be happy and you'll thinkI forgive Tim for what happened.And the next day you're mad and wondering how you'll ever move on, how you'll ever be happy with him again. But eventually the days of anger will lessen. They'll become more infrequent and the anger will be less sharp."
Lucy sniffles and nods, and Tim closes his eyes as he breathes in slowly throughout his nose.
He knows Dr. Yarrow is right.
Heknewthe happiness he and Lucy had been experiencing was too good to be true.
He just hadn't expectedthis.
"The truth is that Tim made a mistake. He hurt you. And he's admitted and apologized for that, which is the first step. How you react and deal with your feelings is the harder part, because it takes a moment to break what will takeyearsto fix. Youwillget there if you stick to it, I promise. Keep communicating.Tell himwhen you're mad and need space. But at the end of the day, remember the love. Remember that you love him and he loves you, and that you both decided it was worth the work to fix your relationship. And Tim, be patient with Lucy. She's dealing with both the trauma of having her heart brokenandthe physical symptoms of a pregnancy. A difficult, high risk pregnancy, at that. Be there, but if she asks for space, give it to her."
Tim nods, turning toward Lucy with red eyes and his heart on his sleeve, his mind echoing one of Dr. Yarrow's sentences over and over as he watches her cry beside him.
You both decided it was worth the work to fix your relationship.
"Is it?" he asks, and then at her confused look, clarifies."Is itworth fixing? Do you think we're worth it?"
Lucy stares at him and for a long moment Tim is convinced she's going to saynoeven though they'd just picked out a house a few weeks ago.
"Yes," she finally whispers, nodding as she scoots across the couch and throws herself into his arms. "God help me, butyes.Yes it's worth it, Tim, because you're the love of my life. You're the man I'm going to grow old with, who I'm going to raise babies with. And it's worth the time and effort now, it's worth the anger and the confusion,everything,because I still want that future with you. I wanteverythingwith you, even if it's hard and confusing and I'm mad at you right now."
"Okay," Tim breathes, and then he's gathering her against his chest, holding her close as they both cry silently. He can feel her tears soak his shirt and he knows she can feel his tears in her hair, but neither of them mention it.
Eventually they pull back, though they don't go far.
"Now," Dr. Yarrow says softly, quietly. "I do think you need to talk about the pregnancy. The twins. And I think it would be beneficial to do it here, in this safe space."
Lucy nods and reaches for a tissue, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes before curling her feet up under herself on the couch.
"Okay."
Tim takes the tissue box from Lucy and cleans his own face before clearing his throat.
"Do you want to start?"
Lucy shrugs, biting her lip as her beautiful brown eyes slowly fill with tears again.
Tim takes a deep, steadying breath, and decides to be the brave one this time.
"I'm fucking terrified," he begins, and Lucy makes a noise of surprise as she turns to him, blue meeting brown as they sit across from each other and bear their souls. "I'm so scared, Lucy, that one of our babies is sick. I was so excited for a few wonderful,amazingseconds when Dr. Kovac told us we were having twins. It was only a moment before she delivered the bad news, too, but in that moment, I planned a whole life. Two little girls, matching outfits, tea parties,everything.And I know what you're going to say — I can'tknowit's two girls, but it's what I imagined. And then Dr. Kovac told us that Baby B is too small and we need further testing, and Ibroke.All of those dreams I had just vanished. So, yeah, I'm scared. I'msoscared, baby."
"Me, too," Lucy whispers, wiping her hand across her face before reaching for his hand. He entwines their fingers and holds on tight, her skin against his the only anchor in the storm keeping him from blowing to pieces. "I'm scared, too, Tim, because I did research even though I wasn't supposed to and we may have to… we may have tochoose.To… toterminateone of our babies so the other can thrive, or to choose to deliver early so the smaller twin can get care in the NICU. We may have to make a choice that could lead to our baby's death andhow can I live with that?I… Ican't,Tim. I can't make that choice."
"I know," Tim whispers, nodding as he holds on tighter. "I know, Luce. But we'll make that choicetogetherif it comes to that. Together, okay?"
He doesn't have any answers for her.
He wishes hedid.
But he doesn't, and all he can do in this moment is reassure her that she's not alone, that he's scared, too.
"I'll give you a moment," Dr. Yarrow murmurs, and Tim nods as she stands, walking from the room to give them some privacy as they linger in the heaviness of everything they'd laid out.
"I'm still mad at you," Lucy whispers, and Tim laughs a little hysterically as he kisses her head.
"I know," he says. "And that's okay. But I love you and we're going to get through this together, okay?"
Lucy nods and then sighs, pressing her ear over his heart as his hands slide around her waist, settling on her stomach, right over their babies.
Notes:
WOOF.
There's a lot to unpack in this chapter! But at least they're communicating! they continue!
Kudos and comments make me smile! I don't always have time to respond but I read and appreciate every comment.
Chapter 20
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
"Tim."
She pauses him with a hand on his arm and he turns immediately, always so in tune to her, so easily moved by her words and touches.
He catches her eye and waits, knowing she has something to say.
"We should… we should keep talking, right?" she murmurs, biting her lip as she drops her gaze to the ground. "About what I said. About being angry."
She can hear Tim audibly swallow as she reminds him of her little outburst. She wants to feel bad about hurting his feelings, but she doesn't. It needed to be said so that they couldtrulymove forward. She's not nearly as angry at him as she is at the entireuniverse,but it comes and goes in waves and today was a bad day.
She wants him to know that she doesn'thatehim, and she's notalwaysthat angry.
"Yeah, we should," he agrees softly, and Lucy nods as she glances back up and meets his gaze. His blue eyes are still red-rimmed after their intense session and the crying they'd done afterward, but his expression is lighter than she'd expected it to be. Notlight,exactly, but not burdened and heavy like she was anticipating.
"You can come over," she offers. "Celina is with Aaron tonight playing Dungeons and Dragons, so she won't be back until some ungodly hour, if she even comes back at all. After… everything that happened, sometimes she just stays in his spare room."
"Okay," Tim agrees easily, nodding.
Lucy knows he's been wanting to talk to her fordays,and he won't pass up the opportunity to spend time with her even if it's uncomfortable. "I can grab us dinner, and I have an errand I want to run first. I'll meet you there in an hour. Thai?"
Lucy's stomach rumbles excitedly at the idea and she nods quickly.
"Yes, please. My usual order."
Tim smiles and reaches out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Okay. See you soon," he murmurs, and Lucy nods, watching him for a long moment as he walks around his truck and climbs inside before turning toward her own car.
An hour sounds like the perfect amount of time to take a nice, long soak in the bath.
There's a knock on the door just as Lucy is climbing out of the bath.
"Just a second!" she calls, fighting a smile as she throws on a robe and wraps her hair in a towel. She ties the strings around her waist tightly, making sure that nothing will come undone mid conversation.
As much as Tim enjoys seeing her whole world, she knows now is not the time or place.
They need totalk.
(Even though her hormones have been demandingother thingsfrom Tim forweeks.)
"You can use your key, you know," she murmurs as she opens the front door. Tim grins at her and holds up the various reusable bags in his hands, shrugging as he walks inside.
"My hands were full," he says, and then, "And I don't want to overstep. It's not the same anymore."
Lucy closes and locks the door behind him and then turns to follow him into the kitchen, rubbing the towel over her hair as she surveys the bags he'd dropped on her kitchen counter. There's the promised Thai food, but there's also a box of her favorite tea that she was running low on, a bottle of alcohol-free wine, and a hastily wrapped box with a bow on top.
She goes for that first.
"For me?" she asks, and Tim nods as he reaches out to snatch it up before she can.
"Yes, but food first," he says, a twinkle in his eye as he sets the box on top of the fridge where he knows she can't reach without help.
She pouts but allows him to dish her up her favorites from their go-to Thai place, and her hunger wins out over her curiosity as the scent of the food reaches her nose. She inhales and then moans, reaching for the plate Tim holds out and digging in enthusiastically as he chuckles and dishes his own food. He puts the wine in the fridge and then joins her on the stool beside her own, watching her for a moment before he begins eating his own food.
She's nearly finished with dinner when she's able to slow down, and she sighs as she drops a hand to her belly, still mostly swollen looking but becoming more and more bump-like every day.
She won't be able to claimbloatingfor much longer.
People willknowsoon.
"I'm notthatmad," she murmurs, sighing as she brushes her hand over her stomach to cup the swell of their babies.
Tim startles a little bit at the sudden change of conversation but recovers quickly.
"It's okay if you are," he says, shrugging as he places his plate on the counter and turns toward her, giving her his full attention. "What I did was rash and stupid and it hurt you more than I ever imagined. Ineverwanted to hurt you like that, Luce, but I did becauseIwas hurting and was blind to the devastation my words would cause. There's no excuse for what I did, but Dr. Keller has been working with me on understandingwhyI did it, and you need to know that I'm not in that headspace anymore. I hated myself so much in that moment that I was self-sabotaging."
Lucy cocks her head to the side in interest, always eager to learn more about Tim's therapy sessions but unwilling to push him to share more than he wants to.
She knows therapy is private andhard,and that you have to bare and confront the ugliest parts of yourself to begin healing.
"What do you mean?" she asks gently.
Tim sighs and brushes a hand over his face.
"Dr. Keller and I have talked a lot about that. About what I think I'm worth and how I sometimes sabotage myself if I find myself doing better or having more than I think I deserve. It's a defense mechanism, he said. And for a while, before Ray, I hated myself less, so I let myself havemore,but afterward the self-loathing was at an all time high. I believed that I didn't deserve you, I didn't deserve to be in Metro, I didn't deserve the support of my friends and family, so I made sure I hadnoneof that. I ruined it all, so that I had exactly what I thought I deserved: nothing. And it doesn't excuse what I did but itexplainsit, and now that I understandwhydid it,whyI turned my entire life upside down, it's easier to keep myself from going to that dark place again. Dr. Keller said I'm making great progress, and … and that if I start feeling like that again, to use the action plan we put in place."
Lucy reaches out and takes Tim's hand, holding tightly to it.
She remembers making heraction planin therapy, back when she'd been buried alive, and again after Jackson had died.
When you're at your lowest low, you can't think straight, and so the action plan had to be memorized and engrained.
Who do you call?
Where do you go?
If you're a danger to yourself or others, who can help?
"So anyway," Tim murmurs, brushing his hand across his short hair. "It's okay if you're angry at me. I know why you're mad and I know it's not because you don't love me. We've talked about that, too, about how I automatically assume the worst when you're upset. You don't hateme,you hate whatI did,and knowing that helps.I'mmad at myself, too."
Lucy nods and pulls Tim closer to her by their clasped hands.
"Iammad. And today I wasso pissed,Tim. I was researching about the twins again, and I wasalone,and I kept thinking about how things would be different if you hadn't walked away that night. We'd probably live together by now, what with the babies coming and all. You'd have been by my side in bed while I googled, and you'd have stolen my phone from me and told me to stop worrying like you did when I got stuck by that needle. And as I thought about how things would be so different, not necessarily with the health of the twins but how we'redealing with it,I got more and more andmoremad until I was consumed with it. I walked into that room with Dr. Yarrow primed to explode."
Tim nods slowly, swallowing as he catches her eye briefly and then looks down.
"I'm sorry," he whispers.
Lucy doesn't tell him it's okay or that there's nothing to apologize for, because thereis,but she does climb off of her chair and lean her head on his shoulder.
"You're here now, and the anger is fading."
Tim breathes a sigh of relief and wraps his arms around her. They stay there for a long moment, him sitting on the high island stool and her standing between his spread thighs, leaning her head on his chest.
Eventually, though, Lucy can't help but become distracted by the gift sitting on top of the fridge.
Tim isso goodat giving gifts, and she's curious about what he got her this time.
Tim notices where her gaze is and chuckles, pulling away so he can stand and grab the gift. He holds it out to her but doesn't hand it over.
"This may produce mixed feelings," he murmurs, and Lucy nods as she waits, confused but willing to hear him out.
"How so?"
"Open it," Tim encourages.
She takes it and pulls at the bow with shaking fingers, her stomach in knots as she lifts the lid.
Inside is a folded baby onesie, off white and covered in little red and grey roses.
It's simple and sweet.
"What…?"
Tim reaches over her shoulder and pulls the onesie out, and Lucy sees that, underneath it, is a second one that looks exactly the same.
She whimpers, her heart constricting.
They don't even know if they'll be bringing hometwobabies.
"We don't have anything for the babies yet," he whispers, laying them both flat on the counter and then producing the matching bows sitting in the bottom of the box, smoothing them down carefully with his large, rough fingers."Andwe don't know if they'll be girls, but just as I believe with my whole heart that we're having two precious baby girls, I believe that we're bringing two babies home from that hospital. I don't… youknowthat I don't put a lot of stock in superstition andfeelings,but Lucy, I cansee it.I can see our future so clearly, and in it we havetwobabies. Two perfect little girls with your skin and my eyes. And… and I wanted to gift you my hope, because I know this is hard but I believe and I wantyouto believe, too."
He presses his lips to her hair as he finishes talking, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her to him before resting his large palms over her belly.
Eventually Lucy turns around in his arms, sniffling as she meets his gaze with watery brown eyes.
"You're really good at giving gifts, you know," she says, smiling despite the emotion in her eyes.
Tim chuckles.
"Only foryou."
"This may top all of the rest," she says, eyeing thetwoonesies on the counter. "You're giving me yourhope,Tim. That's…"
A little corny, she thinks.
Butverysweet.
"I don't know what those tests will show next week," he says, his face soft as he holds her. "But I'm going to do everything humanly possible to make surebothof those little babies come home with us. No matter how much money it costs, no matter what."
Lucy sighs and nods, pressing her ear over his heart again.
"I'm not quite so mad at you anymore," she murmurs, and he laughs again as he tucks her head under his chin. "Damn you and your charm."
"There's always tomorrow," he promises, and Lucy giggles a little bit, too. "Give it time, baby. Give it time."
Somehow, though, Lucy thinks she won't be mad at him tomorrow, either.
Notes:
I'm only like 1/3 of the way though what I want to accomplish in this fic, btw. So it may or may not be like 50-60 chapters long. Hope you're in this for the looooong haul!
Comments and kudos feed my muse!
Chapter 21
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"That's all. Be safe out there today. Oh, and Officer Chen? Sergeant Bradford? Will you hang behind for a moment?"
Tim glances over at Lucy but she just shrugs as she grabs her coffee and weaves her way through various officers to reach the front. Tim is already standing in front of Grey when she falls into step beside him, and he chances one more confused glance at her before addressing Grey.
"Sir?"
Grey finishes organizing his files on the podium and turns to them.
"Good morning," he greets, offering them a quick smile before he glances over their heads to where Officer Janes is standing by the roll call room door, the amusement melting off of his lips as he addresses her. "Officer Janes? Go set up your shop. Your TO will be there in a moment."
She scurries away and Tim just barely holds back an eye roll.
Grey watches her go and then turns back to Tim, raising an eyebrow.
"How is she doing?"
Tim sighs and shrugs, his hands falling to his utility belt. "Better since we last talked," he says, though that's not saying much. "What do you need us for, sir?"
Grey's lips twitch back into something resembling a smile as he turns back toward the two officers.
"Officer Chen," he says, and Tim feels Lucy stand at attention next to him as Grey addresses her. "Your TO Exam is in a week. How are you feeling?"
Lucy swallows and nods nervously as her hands flail in the air in front of her before folding together over her belt. "Um. You know, about… about as good as-as I can feel, I think? I only had a month to study, but I've had Tim quiz me and he says I'm ready, so…"
"Good. That's good. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."
Lucy smiles. "Yes, sir."
"Idothink it would be beneficial to have some on-the-job experience before the test, though, and it will definitely help with the oral portion of the exam, which is why I had you and Tim stay behind this morning. How would you feel about doing a few of your TO shadowing days before your test next week? I know you have some experience with helping train Officer Juarez, but I think a few days shadowing Tim would be helpful."
Lucy turns to Tim and he shrugs, his lips curling into a small smile as he nods minutely.
Itwouldbe beneficial, he thinks, and he's glad that Grey had thought of it.
The only thing he's wary about is having Lucy and Officer Janes in the same vehicle for a twelve hour shift. Janeshasbeen more professional recently, though — she hasn't tried to talk about his personal life evenoncesince he wrote that blue page on her.
Still,though.
He's apprehensive about what the young rookie might say while Lucy is in the shop with them.
"I— that would be wonderful, Sir. Thank you," Lucy says, and Grey smiles as his posture relaxes.
"Good. So, you're with Bradford today, then. Observe and learn, but if you see a teachable moment and want to step in, speak up. This road to becoming a TO is very untraditional, and while I have no doubt in your abilities, you're receivingfarless training than most of our training officers, Officer Nolan not included of course."
Tim suppresses another eye roll at that.
He doesn't think the man should have gotten a golden ticket in the first place, but then he goes and uses it on being atraining officer?
Tim loves the job, he does, but it's notgolden ticketworthy.
"Thank you, sir," he says, and then he's pressing his hand lightly to the small of Lucy's back to guide her out of the roll call room.
"I'mexcited,"Lucy whispers once they're out of Grey's ear-shot, turning to grin up at him with sparkling eyes.
Tim chuckles and turns to stare down at her as they walk, his expression far softer than he normally allows himself within the walls of Mid-Wilshire.
"Yeah? A few days ago I wasn't sure that this was something you really wanted to do."
Lucy pauses them in the middle of the bullpen, her hand on his arm as she catches his eye.
"It's true that it wasn't my first choice," she murmurs. "But those things I said in Dr. Yarrow's office, you have to realize that I wasangry,Tim, and I sometimes say things in anger that aren't the whole truth. I was mad, yes, and becoming a training officer wasn't myfirst choice,but it's a noble job and I know it's not forever. It's fornow,until Primm retires or until I move divisions or until I retake the Detective's Exam in two years. Everything I said that day is true, but it's not thewhole truth,so if… if I said something that you want more clarification on, please ask me. I don'thatethe idea of becoming a training officer, I'm justfrustratedbecause it's not what I originally wanted."
"Okay," Tim whispers, nodding as he glances around them. He sees Officer Janes in the distance watching them from the equipment counter, but other than that, they haven't drawn the attention he'd feared. "I may take you up on that later. I may ask you about… about some of the things you said the other day. But for now, we should…"
He points toward the shop and Lucy nods, dropping her hand from his arm as they continue walking.
Officer Janes notices them and hurries toward the shop, opening the passenger door and climbing inside just as they enter the garage. Tim glares at the passenger side and opens the door before snapping, "Back seat, Boot!"
Lucy rolls her eyes playfully and smacks him on the arm.
"I'll sit in the back, Tim. She has to learn and I'm just along to observe."
Tim stares at her and then his shocked boot before sighing and slamming the passenger door. He opens the back door of the shop and watches as Lucy climbs inside and makes herself comfortable, and then walks around to the driver's side.
"Sir, what is—" Officer Janes begins, but Tim cuts her off.
"Officer Chen is joining us today to shadow me as a TO. She is taking the exam next week and it's one of the requirements. You will address her as 'Ma'am' or 'Officer Chen' only, got it?"
He glares in a way that he hopes communicates that she should not, under any circumstances, try and bring up their personal lives, what she had seen that day at the cafe,orwhat she'd overheard when he'd taken that phone call from Hollie.
"Yes, sir," she says, though Tim catches her eyeing Lucy in the rearview mirror as he pulls the shop out onto the streets. Her eyes are squinted and her lips are pressed in a thin line, and if he didn't know better, he might think that Janes doesn'tlikeLucy.
Which is an absurd thought, really, because the two women have barely evenmet.
"It's nice to meet you," Lucy says, smiling as she leans forward in her seat. There's a metal grate between the front and back because they hadn't known in advance that she'd be with them, otherwise Tim thinks she might have stuck her hand out to shake or even gone in for a hug because that's just the kind of person she is. "Tim tells me you're going to make a really good officer one day."
She conveniently leaves out the part where Tim had said something along the lines ofif she can get her head out of her ass long enough to get through her rookie year, that is.
He doesn't bring it up, though.
Janes smiles, glancing between Lucy and Tim.
"Really? Because he's kind of …"
She trails off and Lucy laughs, and Tim's frown deepens because he doesnotneed these two bonding.
"Oh, he's really just a big softie," Lucy says, shaking her head, and Tim growls as he turns to meet her gaze in the mirror.
"Quit spreading misinformation, Officer Chen," he snaps, trying his best to look annoyed.
Lucy gives him alook,though,one that's full of sass and challenge, and Tim can't help the quick quirk of his lips.
"There's nothingsoftabout him," Janes mutters, and Tim knows he wasn't meant to hear it but hedoesand the tips of his ears turn a light pink.
Lucy laughs and leans back in her seat, happier than he's seen her since their last disastrous appointment at the OB's office.
They make it through two calls before he can hear Lucy's stomach rumbling, and he sets a course for Nevin's without thinking too hard about it.
Lucy hasn't been able to eat first thing in the morning since the morning sickness began, and while she's mostly over that (thankgod),she still isn't able to eat without discomfort before ten in the morning.
It's eleven-fifteen now, and he knows she must be starving.
"Watch the shop, Boot," he snaps at Janes, not bothering to check and see if she's following his order as he climbs out. He opens the back door for Lucy and they walk inside Nevin's together, and he smirks as he hears her groan of appreciation as the scents of the coffee shop wash over them.
He orders their coffees quickly and then tells the teenager behind the counter to add on whatever Lucy picks out from the pastry cabinet. She glances over and mouthsthank you,and then, when she sees onlytwocoffees on the counter, scoffs.
"Get something for Officer Janes, Tim. If you're not going to let her come in and order for herself, you have to bring something to her."
Tim grumbles but reluctantly adds on a third coffee, plain with sugar and cream because he doesn't know what Janes likes, and then pays for the coffees and the croissant and donut Lucy picks out. He adds on a donut of his own and then takes the bag he's handed, tossing it to Lucy immediately because he knows she's going to want to eat at least part of it right away.
Growing two brand new humans is a lot of work and he knows that she needs to be upping her calorie intake in the second trimester.
He can't do much to help with the actual pregnancy, but hecanmake sure she's fed and happy.
She's already munching on her chocolate croissant as they climb back into the shop, and if Tim weren't so busy digging through his glove compartment for her Lactate so she doesn't end up with a milk-induced stomach ache later, he might have been able to stop what happens next.
"Are you sure you should be eating all of that?" Janes asks, raising an eyebrow as Lucy sets the bag of donuts on the seat beside her, chocolate croissant already half gone.
Lucy makes a confused noise as she licks chocolate from her lips.
"What?"
Janes points to the bag and then the croissant that Lucy is still holding.
"I mean,Iwouldn't, but I'm watching my weight. Taking care of my body is important to me."
Tim slams the glove box with more force than necessary, turning his fiery gaze on Janes as he clutches the package of Lactate in his hand so hard that some of the plastic shell casings pop open.
"I…" Lucy begins, lowering the croissant, her gaze falling for a brief moment.
Tim is going tokillhis rookie.
"I'm just saying, you've put on a little weight around the middle since I started here. You should watch what you're eating."
Janes sits back in her chair and sips her coffee nonchalantly, and Tim stares at her, fire burning through his veins as Lucy deflates a little bit in the backseat.
"Officer Janes," he says, and he's proud of how even his voice is as he turns to speak to her.
He doesn'tfeelcalm, but he's glad to know he can still fake it when it counts.
"Get out of the shop.Right now."
Officer Janes turns to him, confusion painted across her face as she licks a drop of coffee from the edge of her coffee cup, eyes wide and portraying too much innocence to be anything but deceitful.
"What?"
"Isaid,"Tim begins, but he feels Lucy's fingers poking through the metal grate of the shop and touching his neck before he can continue.
"I'll deal with this," she murmurs, and though Tim wants to tear into his rookie he nods, forcing himself to stay in his seat.
Lucy can fight her own battles.
He breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, and then turns to watch as Lucy addresses his rookie.
"Like Sergeant Bradford said, out of the shop, Boot. I'd like to have a word with you outside."
Notes:
Ope.
Officer Janes fucked upppppp.
I ended it here because I want to write the next part through Lucy's POV!
Comments and kudos make me happy!
Chapter 22
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Character Injury
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
After Officer Janes closes the door of the shop, Lucy takes a moment to breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
"I'm going to fuckingwash her out,"Tim growls, and the situation is so absurd that Lucy has to choke back a laugh as she brushes her fingers along his hairline through the grate of the shop.
"Write up a blue page on her," she murmurs. "For inappropriate behavior and unprofessionalism. Let Grey deal with it."
Tim grumbles under his breath some more, and Lucy steels herself as she opens her shop door, brushes crumbs of chocolate croissant off of her uniform, and then rounds the shop until she's face to face with a nervous looking Officer Janes.
She meets her eye, unwilling to back down, and clears her throat.
"I don't know what kind of superior officers you had in the Academy," she begins, and she's proud of how steady her voice is. "But here in the LAPD, we don't think it'scuteorfunnyto be insubordinate. What you just did, what you just said to me, goes beyond unprofessionalism."
"Ma'am, I—"
Lucy doesn't let her finish.
She holds up a hand to halt the Rookie, and then rests both hands on her utility belt, right over her (yes, somewhat larger than normal, but she's growing not one buttwo babies,for goodness sake!) stomach.
"Forgetting the fact that we're on duty, that I am yoursuperior,andthat Tim and I are in a personal relationship that youknow about,what you did was disrespectful and despicable, speaking as one woman to another. What right do you have to comment on my body? What right do you have to police what I eat? What right do you have to presume you know my life, my medical situation, or anything else about me?"
Janes swallows, her expression twisted into something between chagrin and annoyance.
Lucy isn't anywhere near finished, however.
"You knownothingabout me. You don't know that I haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon because I've been sick to my stomach, the fact that I was so hungry you could hear my stomach echoing in the shop, or the fact that I've struggled with eating and body image issues since I was a child due to my overbearing parents critiquing everything I ate. I'm in a good place now, but if I were weaker and as insecure asyouseem to be, your little comment could have put me in a bad place. Your words were disrespectful and horrifyingly inappropriate. They were meant to hurt me, to shock me, and I can't possibly think of what I've done to make you dislike methis muchsince you've been here."
"Officer Chen—"
Lucy shakes her head, though, her eyes fiery as she watches the blonde rookie squirm under her gaze.
She'sthoroughlyworked up now, and she has just a little bit more to say.
"All I can think of is the fact that you have, on multiple occasions, come on to Sergeant Bradford in a sexual manner despite the fact that he's made himself perfectly clear that he's not interested in you that way. The only thing that makes sense is that, because we're in a relationship, I somehow threaten you. I don't know if you're trying to drive a wedge between us or make him think that you're a better choice than me, but all you've accomplished is earning a second blue page and losing Sergeant Bradford's respect. Calling mefatand telling me that I shouldwatch what I eatwhen I'm pregnant and one of my babies isalreadytoo small is—"
Lucy doesn't realize what she's said until she hears and registers Officer Janes' gasp of surprise interrupt her little rant.
Oh.
Ohfuck.
She winces and lets her eyes flutter closed for a brief moment, running her own words over in her head and trying to decide if she can spin them as a joke or take them back.
When I'm pregnant and one of my babies is already too small…
She sighs and drops her head, ignoring the elephant in the room so that she can finish her dressing down of Tim's rookie.
"I'll be filing a complaint and Sergeant Bradford will be writing you up.Again.A third blue page is cause for beingdismissedfrom the program, so watch yourself Officer Janes, or your career is going to be over before it even begins."
She turns and stalks away, her palms sweaty and her heart racing.
Shit.
Not only had she just told Officer James she was pregnant, she'd even revealed it wastwins.
God.
"You okay?"
Tim's soft murmur breaks her from her thoughts as she climbs into the back passenger seat, Officer Janes still standing in shock outside of the shop.
"I was," she whispers, shaking her head as she buckles her seatbelt with trembling hands. "I worked myself up into a pretty good rant before accidentally revealing that I'm pregnant."
Tim's wince is audible and Lucy nods as she catches his eye in the mirror.
"Yeah. So…"
Tim flexes his fingers on the steering wheel as he watches Lucy pick up her half eaten chocolate croissant and munch at it half heartedly.
"Well I'm sure she deservedevery wordyou said to her," Tim says, his voice low and comforting. "And we'll deal with the other thing. I'll tell her she's not allowed to say anything. Grey already knows, so if she tries to use it to get us in trouble or something…"
Lucy nods as Tim trails off, and they both turn to stare at the Rookie in question as she finally opens the passenger door and climbs back into her seat.
She doesn't apologize, not that Lucy had expected her to.
Tim, apparently, had.
"Two things, Officer Janes. Number one, youwill notbe repeating any new information you learned today or I will wash you from this program quicker than you can evenblink.Secondly, isn't there something you'd like to say to Officer Chen?"
Lucy stares at Janes and chews very pointedly on her croissant.
She's not ashamed of being hungry and eating something that both nourishes her and her babiesandtastes good, andfuckOfficer Janes for making her feel like sheshouldbe ashamed of enjoying her breakfast.
Officer Janes clenches her jaw and turns toward Lucy in the backseat.
"I apologize, Officer Chen, for being unprofessional," she forces out.
Lucy smiles tightly as she finishes her croissant.
"Think before you speak next time," she says, glaring pointedly right at the Rookie. "It may just keep you from gettingfired."
Their next call is routine but the one afterthatis the one that effectively ruins Officer Janes' career.
"7-Adam-100, this is Dispatch. We have a 211 in progress near your location at the gas station on Jackson and Anders. Please respond."
Tim reaches for the radio, his eyes flickering to Lucy's in the backseat as he speaks.
"This is 7-Adam-100, show us responding. We're two minutes out."
"Proceed with caution, 7-Adam-100, reports of shots fired at your location."
Tim's jaw clenches as he flips on the lights and sirens, his hands flexing on the wheel as he glances back at Lucy.
Sheknowshe wants to tell her to stay back when they get there, but she also knows that he'll never actually ask.
"Vests," he murmurs as he slows to a stop a few meters away from the gas station. He turns off the light and sirens and opens his door, moving quickly and quietly to the back to hand out the tactical vests from their war bags. He double checks Lucy's and then catches her eye, and she can see the fear in them plain as day.
"I'll keep back," she murmurs, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'll let you and Janes take point. I'll provide backup and cover fire if necessary."
"Thank you,"he whispers fiercely, and Lucy is shocked when he reaches out to cup the back of her head and press a forceful kiss to her forehead.
She knows there's so much more to be scared for, now.
It's not justher.
It's herandtheir babies.
She knows that he could lose all three of them in one terrible accident, so while she knows he'd neveraskher to stay back,offeringto do so is the easiest thing she's ever done.
Tim stares into her eyes for one more, long second, and then he turns to Janes, communicating silently and efficiently that she should cover the back and he'll take the front. Lucy watches as Janes nods and they both take off, feet light and silent as they run to press against the gas station wall.
"Police!" Tim calls, announcing himself as he reaches the edge of the stone wall. "Show yourselves!"
Lucy watches in trepidation as Tim sticks his head around the corner to quickly take stock of the situation before pressing back against the wall. He signals her and she nods, sliding around the other side of the shop so that she has a better view.
Two inside, one armed.
No hostages that she can see.
"Show yourselves, or we're coming in!" Tim calls again, and Lucy swallows, her eyes darting between where he's pressed against the wall and where she can see Janes at the back of the gas station.
This could go badlyso quickly,she knows, and her heart is in her throat as Tim holds his weapon out and rounds the corner.
It's over quickly after that, the two men inside giving up after Tim knocks one of them against the wall and disarms him.
Janes comes around the side and begins cuffing them, and Tim deflates as he turns to signal to Lucy that it's okay for her to approach. She reaches for her radio as she does, calling it into dispatch because they're going to need additional shops to transfer their prisoners.
"Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-100, we are code four. We have two in custody. We need two additional shops to our location as ours cannot carry passengers today."
"Copy, 7-Adam-100. We have additional shops headed your way."
Tim kicks one of the weapons away from the first suspect as Lucy enters the gas station, her eyes sweeping the perimeter as she takes in the damage.
"Was anyone hurt? Where is the owner?"
Tim shakes his head.
"No, it appears the owner ran. It was nice of them to let him go. Lots of property damage, but no injuries."
One of the men scoffs and Tim kicks him in the boot.
"We ain't tryin' to hurt anyone, man!" he cries, shaking his blond, floppy hair out of his eyes as he struggles against his cuffs. He's the younger of the two, and definitely not the brains of the operation if Lucy has to guess. "We was just tryin' to make some cash, you know?"
"Shutup,Liam," the older one growls, and Tim raises an eyebrow as he surveys them.
Janes finishes cuffing them and comes around to stand next to Tim.
"What do we do now, sir?"
Tim raises an eyebrow.
"I don'tknow,Boot. Whatdowe do now?"
Lucy has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.
Janes is silent for a moment and then says, "We make sure the scene is secure and call for additional units or an RA if needed."
"Is it needed?"
Janes shakes her head. "No, sir, no major injuries were sustained during the take down. So we call for additional units to transfer them and then write it up back at the station."
Tim nods, his own eyes roaming the room.
"Is the scene secure, Officer Janes?"
Janes is nodding without looking around, opening her mouth to verbally tell Tim that, yes, it's secure, when the older of the two men wrenches his hands out of his too-loose handcuffs and lunges for the gun that's only a few feet away from him, the one that Tim had kicked away from the blond boy.
There are two shots in rapid succession before Tim makes it to him, and while the man is crying out in pain from the likely broken wrist that Tim has just given him, Lucy is left gasping as white hot pain slices through her shoulder.
Her vision swims from the pain and she drops heavily to her knees as she feels blood, warm and thick, pouring from the new hole in her uniform.
"Tim," she whispers, and he turns, eyes widening as he takes in the way she's pale and shaking, blood pulsing through her fingers and trailing down her arm, blending in with the black of her uniform sleeve until it reaches her wrist and stains her palm.
Shit,that's a lot of blood.
Is there a major artery in her shoulder?
She knows she shouldknow,but everything is a bit fuzzy right now.
"Tim," she gasps again, and then she's pitching forward.
"Lucy!"
She doesn't remember hitting the ground.
Notes:
Welp.
Janes isdefinitelygetting fired after this, right?
Comments and Kudos feed my muse!
Chapter 23
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Depictions of injury, major character injury
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
The first thing Tim feels is panic.
Blinding, all consumingpanicthat causes fire to race in his veins and his feet to freeze to their spot.
Lucy.
Oh, god.
"LUCY!"
He drops to his knees beside where she's fallen, his hands pressing over the rapidly bleeding wound in her shoulder. She cries out in pain when he applies pressure, but he shushes her as he quickly assesses the situation.
There's an exit wound on the back of her shoulder so it was through and through, but he knows that if she's bleeding this much and this quickly that the bullet probably hit the artery and likely the bone.
She's going to need surgery.
She's pregnant,he reminds himself, and he has to furiously blink away tears as he turns back to yell at Officer Janes.
(The second thing he feels isanger,but it's slow to build around the fear overtaking him).
"Call for an RA,right now!"
Janes scrambles for her radio as Tim pulls Lucy's head into his lap, pressing harder on her wound even though it makes her cry out and try to push his arms away with weak hands.
"I'm sorry, baby," he whispers, his fingers trembling as he tries to stem the flow of blood. "I'm so sorry I'm hurting you, I'mso sorry,but I have to. I have to keep it from bleeding."
He knows the statistics, and he knows that, based on the location of the gunshot wound, it's likely her axillary artery that was hit.
Without intervention she could bleed out withinminutes.
Officer Janes finishes calling for an RA and then drops down beside him, her hands hovering uselessly in the air over Lucy's prone body.
"H-How can I help?" she asks, her voice quiet and shaky.
Tim's gaze snaps to hers, tears blurring his vision as his fingers slip through Lucy's thick, warm blood.
"You could havedone your fucking jobin the first place and tightened the cuffs appropriately!" he yells, his voice cracking as he gives into the anger for one brief moment. He pushes it down ruthlessly, though, because there will be time to yell later when Lucy is in the hospital receiving the care she needs. "Get me the medical kit,now.We need… I need the Celox granulesimmediately."
Janes nods and pushes off of the ground, running toward the shop as Tim turns his attention back to Lucy.
She's staring up at him with big, wet eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks as he hurts her to help save her.
"Hurts," she moans, and he nods, swallowing thickly as he holds pressure with one hand while tearing at the already ripped fabric of her uniform top with the other.
He needs access to the wound, to herskin.
"I know," he whispers. "I know, baby. I promise that the ambulance will be here soon and they'll make it stop hurting. But Ihaveto do this, Luce. I have to keep your blood inside where it belongs. You and the babies need it, okay?"
Lucy nods but moans in pain as Tim pulls on her uniform top again.
He needs access to her skin so he can apply the Celox when Janes gets back.
"JANES!"
She skids to a stop beside him, opening the medical kit in such a hurry that supplies scatter across the floor of the gas station, but Tim doesn't care. He sees the granules he needs and reaches for the package with his free hand, using his teeth to tear it open.
"Hold on, Luce," he murmurs, and she nods as he takes his hand off of the wound, his heart nearlystoppingwhen he sees how much blood wells up as soon as he removes the pressure. He quickly applies Celox to the front of her shoulder, and then helps her rise into a sitting position so he can do the same to the back. Once applied, he tears open a package of sterile gauze and presses it over her wound, packing it in as tightly as he can before pressing his hands front to back, holding the Celox granules and gauze in place.
"Just hang on," he begs, and Lucy nods weakly as she drops her head to his shoulder.
He can hear the sirens in the far distance and counts down the seconds until they arrive, his heart in his throat and his fingers stained with Lucy's blood.
The ambulance and their backup arrive at nearly the same time, and the EMTs swarm quickly as the responding officers haul the two robbers from the floor of the gas station.
Tim recognizes Officer Jan and pulls him to the side, wincing as he leaves blood behind on the man's arm.
"Bag the gun," he croaks, his voice hoarse as he stands to walk beside the stretcher they now have Lucy strapped to. "It's evidence. And bring Officer Janes and our shop back to the station. She's not to go anywhere or doanythinguntil I talk to Grey.Nothing,do you hear me? She's to stare at a fucking wall and not say aworduntil I make my official report."
Officer Janes swallows nervously, but Tim doesn't give her even a second glance as he runs to catch up with the EMTs as they load Lucy into the ambulance. He climbs in beside them and takes Lucy's hand as they close the rear doors, and then the ambulance is roaring off, lights and sirens blaring as they race toward St. Stephens Hospital.
"Good job using the Celox," the EMT murmurs as he begins inserting an IV into Lucy's left arm, tossing the trash and medical waste to the floor without care as a second EMT finishes inserting a second access IV into the crook of her right elbow. "She likely would have bled out if you hadn't thought quickly."
Tim nods, only half paying attention to the young man as he begins pushing medicine through the IV. A clotting agent, Tim knows, to help stop the bleeding, and probably something for the pain as well.
"She's pregnant," he whispers, though he knows that they're going to have to take the risk and give her the medications that will save her life regardless. "About 17 weeks, twins. High risk pregnancy."
The EMT nods and turns to his partner, murmuring something in a low voice as he flushes Lucy's IV.
"We'll note it in her file, but she's going to need surgery," he says, nodding toward the wound. "Based on the amount of bleeding and where she was hit, it's likely that her axillary artery was nicked, though of course the doctor will be able to tell you for sure."
Tim nods and then brings Lucy's limp hand up to press his lips to her knuckles.
"Luce," he murmurs, but she doesn't respond.
She's barely conscious, he knows, and she's saving all of her strength to stay awake and alive.
"We're almost there, baby," he whispers, his eyes welling up with tears once more as he feels the ambulance slow down as they approach the ambulance bay. "You're gonna be okay. Youhaveto be okay, understand me? Ineedyou. I need youandour babies. Two little girls, remember? You have to be okay so I can sayI told you sowhen they're born."
He lets out a soft, watery chuckle, and then closes his eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath as the EMT stands and opens the back of the ambulance.
She's going to be taken from him, he knows, and the thought nearly sends him intoanotherpanic spiral.
"Sir," the EMT murmurs, and Tim nods as he squeezes Lucy's hand and then leans down to brush his lips against hers.
"I love you," he whispers, and then she's gone, taken from him and the ambulance, whisked away into the life-saving surgery he knows she so desperately needs.
He's left alone, covered in her blood and wondering if his entire world is about to be taken from him.
Grey finds him as he's trying desperately to scrub blood from underneath his fingernails.
It's hard to see, though, because his eyes are so blurry with tears. He knows he's missing a lot of the blood but he can't clear his vision long enough to make sure he's gotten it all. He'd long ago thrown his uniform top and vest away and borrowed a pair of scrub pants from one of the passing nurses. The skin under the scrubs is covered in blood that had seeped through his uniform, and he knows what he needs is a steaming hot shower, but he refuses to leave until Lucy is able to leave with him.
"Tim," Grey murmurs.
Tim turns, his blue eyes swimming with emotion, and tries to smile.
He ends upsobbing,though, and Grey sighs as he pulls him into his arms, hugging him so tightly that Tim fears he may break.
"I can't— Ican't lose them,"he cries, and Grey nods as he cups the back of Tim's head and tucks his face into his shoulder.
He hasn't been held this way since he was a small child, and while part of him wants to pull away and pretend that he'sfine,that he'sstrong,he finds that he doesn't have the energy or the will to do so.
Hecravesthe comfort that Grey officers, and so he allows himself to break down in the arms of a man he considers more of a father figure than his own ever was.
Grey holds him until he runs out of tears, and then helps him finish scrubbing blood from his arms.
"It's going to be okay," he murmurs.
He doesn't sayshe's going to be okay,Tim notes, though he doesn't call the older man out on his choice of words.
Instead he lets Grey lead the way into the waiting room, and Tim's breath catches when he sees all of the people gathered for Lucy.
He always knew she could draw a crowd.
She hasso manypeople who love her, he knows, and his heart won't be the only one that's broken if she doesn't pull through.
She's going to pull through,he tells himself.
He takes a shaky breath in and then lets himself be enveloped by all of the people who love Lucy.
Angela first, and then Nyla.
John.
Juarez.
Officer Jan.
Aaron.
Grey.
They're all in uniform or have badges clipped to their clothes. They'd likely all come in from patrolling, and while Tim knows they won't be able to stay, he appreciates the gesture.
He knowsLucywould appreciate the gesture.
Willappreciate the gesture, that is, because he's going to tell her about it when she's out of surgery, when she wakes up.
(When, notif).
"Thank you," he murmurs, his voice hoarse and thick. "I'll keep everyone updated as soon as we know something."
Their friends nod and thank him, and there's another round of hugs before first Nolan and Celina and then Angela and Nyla peel off from the group. Officer Jan and Aaron are still sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chairs, though, and Tim knows that spending your lunch break in the hospital isn't a glamorous choice but he appreciates the support.
Grey, too, doesn't leave.
"Thank you, sir," he begins, clearing the emotion from his throat as he turns to address his boss.
He feels naked in just his white t-shirt and the borrowed scrub pants, and he shuffles nervously as he meets Grey's eye.
"I—"
The words of gratitude freeze in his throat, though, when a movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention.
Another officer.
(He can tell from the uniform).
Janes.
All of the thanks and gratitude he'd been feeling only moments beforeevaporateat the sight of her, and he turns, his chest puffing and his vision blurring withangeras he stalks toward her.
"Tim," Grey murmurs in warning, but Tim brushes his hand off of his arm as he invades Janes' space and glares down at her, his blue eyesfiery,his hands clenched into fists at his side.
(He's never punched a woman before, but today might be the day).
"Whatthe hellare you doing here?" he growls, and to her credit, Janes shrinks back, trying to put some space between them as he towers over her.
"I… I wanted to check on Lucy," she says. "Like everyone else."
Tim seesred.
"You shouldn't be here," he growls, stepping even further into her space until she's backed up against the wall, her eyes wide with fear. "You don'tdeserveto be here.Youare the reason she's hurt,OfficerJanes, because you failed to clear the scene correctly. And I do notgive a shitthat you're a rookie, properly tightening handcuffs is one of thefirstthings you learn in the academy. It is something every single rookie knows before they step foot inside of their station, and youwill notget a pass because this is your probationary year. You aredone,do you hear me?"
Officer Janes whimpers, her green eyes wide and beginning to fill with tears.
Tim doesn't give a shit.
"You are finished, Janes. You will never,ever,be a cop. To fail to secure a scene like thaton top ofthe way you've treated both me and Officer Chen, is too heinous a mistake to be forgiven. She coulddie,Janes. She and my babies coulddieand it will beyour fault."
Tears begin to slip down Janes' face, but Tim pays them no mind.
Feeling sorry for her actions after the fact will do Lucy no good.
"You were distracted going into that call because you were being unprofessional and inappropriate, and Officer Chen already had to talk to you. But failing to properly secure those handcuffs could cause the LAPD to lose one of their finest officers and could cause me tolose the love of my life.And if she dies, Officer Janes? I willruin you."
Janes lets out a soft sob as Tim turns and stalks away, emotion rising so fast inside of him that he knows he's going to break downagain.
He stalks toward the men's bathroom, slamming the door behind him as he presses his back to the wall and begins to cry
Notes:
My birthday present to you, FERAL TIM! Hope you enjoyed! Janes won't be around much longer after this, BUT we get to know the other rookie, Herndon, a little more! Poor boy has been stuck with Wrigley this whole time.
Comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 24
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
It takes three hours and seventeen minutes (and a handful of seconds, but Tim can't count those or he'lltrulylose it) for the doctor to come through the swinging double doors and ask for the family of Lucy Chen.
Tim stumbles to his feet, ignoring Angela (the officer currently on Tim-Duty, though there's been a rotating cast for the past several hours) as he stumbles toward the young surgeon.
"I'm … it's me," he says, tripping over his own words as he runs his hand through his already messy hair. "I mean, I'm her medical proxy, and… and her boyfriend. Tim Bradford."
The surgeon flicks through his iPad and then nods, satisfied, as he meets Tim's eyes.
He offers him a small, encouraging smile, and Tim feels his heart racing as he waits.
"She made it through surgery," the doctor begins, and Tim relaxes so suddenly that his knees buckle and it's only Angela's hands on him that keep him from collapsing to the ground. His ears are ringing and his eyes, bone dry for the past several hours, begin to water again.
"She's … she's okay?"
The doctor makes a noise and some of Tim's relief evaporates as he shakes his head and makes a face. "She's not out of the woods yet, no, but she's stable for now. We're going to keep her in the ICU overnight and then possibly transfer her to the floor tomorrow. The surgery went about as well as could be expected. We had to transfer three units of blood because of the volume she lost, but we repaired the damage to her clavicle and stop the bleeding. She has both internal and external stitches, but our main concern right now is her blood pressure. It tanked during the operation and we struggled to bring it back up, and she's still hovering at 70 over 50. We won't transfer her to the floor until it's stable."
Tim nods, trusting Angela is listening for all of the details because he can barely think pastshe's stable.
"And the babies? Are they… are they okay, too?"
The surgeon nods.
"Both are stable right now. We have her on continuous monitoring to keep an eye on them because one of the fetus's heart rates dropped during surgery. It's back up now and we expect everything is stable, but we'll keep monitoring her for at least 24 hours."
Tim nods and then stumbles backward, hands reaching out behind him to grip onto the handles of one of the waiting room chairs before he drops heavily into it.
"Oh my god," he whispers, dropping his head into his hands as the dam breaks and he beginssobbingonce more.
He'd spent the last three hours imagining the worst case scenario (a world in which he loses Lucyandtheir babies) and now that he realizes he doesn't have toliveit, he feels weak and shaky.
The surgeon flips through Lucy's information on his iPad and continues talking as Tim tries to get himself under control.
"We're setting her up in a room now and she can have visitors soon, though we don't allow overnight visitors."
Tim scoffs.
"Yeah, that's not a thing. I won't be leaving her."
Angela reaches out and squeezes Tim's shoulder.
"It might be a good idea to get some rest and take a shower," she murmurs softly, but Tim shakes his head.
"No. I'm not leaving. I won't get in the way and I won't cause trouble, but I'm not leaving."
The surgeon sighs as he tucks his iPad under his arm, his eyebrow raised in amusement.
"I'm just her surgeon, Mr. Bradford. You'll need to take that up with the floor nurses. They can be mean and I'm not about to get on their bad side because they can make my life and my job very difficult."
Tim glances up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "It'sSergeantBradford, and I'm more than happy to get on their bad side. Can I see her yet?"
"Not yet I'm afraid. They're settling her in and because it's right at shift change, they won't accept any new visitors until they've given report. They'll come get you when she's ready, but for now, sit tight. It could be a few hours. The cafeteria is on the first floor but I recommend the coffee shop across the street for caffeine because the stuff here is awful."
Tim nods and thanks him and then drops his head back against the wall, his eyes fluttering closed as the surgeon walks away.
Now that he knows Lucy is okay, that thebabiesare okay, everythingelsethat's fucked up in the world begins to try and crowd out his worry for most pressing issue.
Janes.
Revealing the pregnancy in front of Officers Thorsen and Jan.
Janes.
He has to make an official report, he knows, and probably be interviewed by IA to begin the process of terminating his rookie.
Shit.
"I need to go to the station," he whispers, though the thought almost makes him physically sick.
He can't leave Lucy.
Hecan't.
Except he has to.
"I'll stay," Angela murmurs softly as she sits in the chair next to him and presses an encouraging hand to his arm. "There's a chance you'll be back before they even allow visitors, anyway. Take care of what you need to take care of, and then come back. She's okay, Tim, and she's not going anywhere."
Tim nods and swallows, and then glances down at the blood still underneath his fingernails. He can feel it pulling at the skin and hair under his scrubs, too, and he knows he needs a shower before he sees Lucy.
She shouldn't have to see her own blood all over his skin.
"Thank you," he whispers. He stands and then leans over Angela, cupping her head in his large hands and pressing a grateful, overwhelmed kiss to her forehead.
He doesn't know how he landed her as a best friend, but he would be honestlylostwithout her.
Angela smiles and then waves him off, making a show of settling into the chair and pulling out her phone as if Tim had doubted for even a second that she would leave before he comes back.
He stares at her for a long moment and then at the double doors he wishes he could just barge through, and then turns and stalks off down the hall, already creating a mental to-do list in his head so that he can get back to Lucy as soon as possible.
After what is possibly the hottest, fastest shower of his life during which he scrubs at least two layers of skin off, Tim dresses in the extra clothes from his go bag, bribes a female officer into getting Lucy's from the women's locker room, and then walks with a purpose toward Grey's office.
"Oh, good, IA is already here," he says, nodding as he closes the door behind himself. "Sir, I'd like to officially request that Officer Janes be removed from the FTO program due to repeated unprofessional and careless behavior. She's put the lives of multiple officers at risk, and I think she should be terminated before lives are actually lost."
Grey raises an eyebrow and temples his hands under his chin as he leans back in his chair.
"Come on in, Sergeant Bradford," he says, and Tim almost smiles at the dry sarcasm.
Hehadbarged in without knocking, and he wants to feel at least a little bit bad but he doesn't.
"Sorry, sir," he says, his expression chagrined as he clasps his hands together and stands a little straighter, feeling underdressed in jeans and a henley while both Commander West and Grey are in full uniform. "I apologize for interrupting."
Grey waves a hand in the air. "It's fine, son. IA Commander West is here because of the situation today, actually, so it's actually good that you're here. We were going to call you soon, but this is better."
Tim nods, turning his attention toward Commander West as he clears his throat.
"Sir, I will be making an official report as soon as I'm able to, but Officer Janes has shown a pattern of disrespect and careless behavior, and I would like to terminate her position with the LAPD."
Percy West raises an eyebrow as he regards Tim.
"I heard about what happened today, Sergeant Bradford. How is Officer Chen doing?"
Tim swallows and resists the urge to slide his gaze away from West's and toward the ceiling. He blinks back the emotion threatening to overtake him and takes a moment to center himself before nodding. "She's out of surgery, sir. Stable but still in the ICU. The surgeon said her blood pressure is dangerously low and they're going to keep her in the ICU until it comes back up, but … but she's alive and she's stable."
West nods and Tim can see the relief flood the older man's gaze as he processes Tim's words.
He can't imagine how Commander West had felt when he'd lost Jackson, and he knows the man thinks of Lucy like a daughter, too. He knows Lucy still has dinner with the whole family at least once a month, and he realizes not for the first time that he's not the only one whose heart would have been broken if she hadn't pulled through.
So manypeople love Lucy.
She's like the sun in the middle of the universe, all the other planets revolving around her and basking in her light, and Tim knows that, if her light had gone out, a dark shadow would have fallen over Mid Wilshire.
"That's… that's good," Commander West finally says, and Tim nods as he swallows past the lump in his throat.
"Yes, sir, it is."
Commander West nods again and then motions for Tim to take one of the seats in front of Grey's desk. He does, watching with trepidation as Commander West sits beside him.
"Unofficially, tell me what happened today as well as about any past incidents," he requests. "I'll wait for your report before doing anything official, but I'd like to know what we're looking at here."
Tim nods and blows out a breath as he tries to remember all the way back to the first time Officer Janes had acted in an unprofessional manner.
"The first incident was within her first week as my rookie. She acted in a way that was distinctly unprofessional, though it would be difficult to prove. We weren't on the clock and it was in the station elevator, which has video footage but no audio. She came on to me but I turned her down and made it clear her behavior was unprofessional."
Commander West nods but doesn't interrupt, and Tim mentally runs through the various shifts he'd spent with Janes.
"The second incident was during shift so there's body camera footage. She came onto me again and made unprofessional comments about my and Officer Chen's relationship and touched me in an unprofessional manner. I wrote a blue page on her that time, which is in her file. The third and fourth incidents were both in a single shift, today actually, and…"
He pauses and breathes slowly through his nose, trying to control the panic and nausea welling up inside of him as he thinks about the incident at the gas station today.
She's fine,he reminds himself.
She's stable.
The babies are stable.
Everyone is okay.
But he has to do this because next time, someone mightnotbe okay.
"The third and fourth incidents were today," he continues, his voice low and emotional. "Officer Chen began shadowing me today as she's… well, at least shewasgoing to take the TO exam next week. I guess… well, that may not happen. But anyway, she was with us. We stopped for coffee and pastries, and when we got back in the shop, Officer Janes made several rude and unprofessional comments to Officer Chen. They exited the shop and Officer Chen put her in her place. I was planning on writing a second blue page for unprofessional behavior, but before I could, we were called to a 211 at a gas station. We responded, took out the suspects, and I told Officer Janes to secure the suspects. She cuffed them both, and then I was quizzing her on whether or not the scene was secure. While I was doing that…"
He trails off, pausing again and fighting the bile that rises in his throat when he remembers how Lucy had called out for him before falling,bleeding…
"She failed to tighten the cuffs on one of the suspects and he broke free, grabbed a gun, and shot Officer Chen. I subdued him and then provided first aid until the ambulance arrived. Her … her careless behavior nearly cost Officer Chen's life, and I don't believe that she could continue being an officer."
Commander West studies Tim carefully when he finally falls silent, his lips pressed into a thin line and his eyes stormy and worried.
"How much of this can be backed up with body cam footage?" he asks.
Tim frowns and considers each incident carefully.
"Most of it except for the first incident in the elevator," he says. "Why, sir?"
Commander West blows out a breath and brushes his hand over his hair, turning to meet Grey's gaze, his own grim.
"Because as of an hour ago, Officer Janes has also filed a formal complaint againstyouand Officer Chen for mistreatment due to your personal relationship. She's claiming she's been unfairly punished and discriminated against, and we have to investigate."
Notes:
I'd say I'm sorry but that would be a lie, I thrive on creating chaos much like Janes does, apparently.
Kudos and comments make me happy!
Chapter 25
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy wakes to pain.
It's not the pain she passed out to, though, and she's thankful for that.
This time, it's a deep,achingpain, a pain that seems to come from her verybones,and she groans as she pries her eyes open only to be met with bright, blinding lights.
"Ouch."
There's a chuckle from her right, and then suddenly Tim is in her view, blocking some of the harsher lights from her vision. He's smiling but his eyes are wet with unshed tears, and it looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days.
Lucy smiles and brings up her good hand to brush along his chin, sighing happily when she feels the stubble underneath her fingertips.
She secretlylovesTim with a little bit of stubble. The salt and pepper hairsdo somethingto her, plus an unshaved Tim is a relaxed, lazing-around-home Tim, and that's herfavoriteTim.
"Hey, baby," he murmurs, reaching up to cover her small hand with his own. He entwines their fingers but leaves their clasped hands on his face, turning so that he can press a kiss to her palm. "You scared theshitout of me."
Lucy laughs and then immediately regrets it, the deep-seated ache in her shoulder spreading out to the rest of her body. She moans, her eyes slipping closed as she tries to fight back tears.
Tim immediately drops her hand and reaches for the nurse call button, and before she knows it, there's something rushing through her IV and everything feelswonderful.
"Love you," she mumbles, and then she's falling back under, the darkness taking her once again.
It's not until the next time she wakes up that she remembers thebabies,and her second awakening is filled withpanic.
Tim is there(of coursehe's there, he always is) and he tries to calm her down as she screams and cries, her fear blinding her to everything else.
She realizes later that part of her meltdown is medication induced, but in the moment all she can do is cry and scream, her words unintelligible as she tries to ask about her babies.
Herbabies.
"It's okay, Luce. You're okay," Tim murmurs, but Lucy sees the tears in his eyes and she doesn't know if they're because she woke upscreamingor if there's something worse.
Did she lose one of the babies?
Did she lose themboth?
"Tim!" she cries, her voice wet and frantic, her fingers digging into his skin as she tries to pull him closer. She can see the marks she's leaving, her nails digging so deeply into his skin that some of them are evenbleeding,but she can't stop.
She can barelybreathe.
"You're okay," Tim whispers again, both hands cupping her face as he stares into her eyes. There are tears making their way slowly down his cheeks, and Lucy wants to brush them away but she can't pull her hands from his biceps, can't make herself do anything, can'tbreathe."You're okay, Luce. Thebabiesare okay, see?"
Lucy makes a pained noise, a broken, shattered sound, but lets Tim move her head to the side until she's staring at a monitor, two unique hearts beeping steadily, separate from her own.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Oh.
Oh.
This time her tears are tears of relief as she drops her hands from Tim's biceps to her belly, her barely-there belly, cupping her babies as she listens to the sweet, sweet sound of the monitor beeping steadily, the babies heart rates not in sync but no less beautiful because of it.
"They're fine," he murmurs again, dropping his lips to her forehead as she watches the monitors jump in time to her babies hearts, her vision blurry as the panic recedes. "They're okay. You'reallokay."
Lucy sniffles and nods, one hand leaving her belly so she can wrap it around Tim's where he's still holding her face.
She watches the monitor until she blacks out, the pain receding as a nurse pushes something into her IV, and this time, shewelcomesthe darkness.
The third time she wakes up is far less dramatic.
It's slow, like a lazy, sleepy morning with Tim, the light filtering in through the window less harsh than before. It's muted, the sun either going down or coming up, and the lights in her room are low.
Tim is still there, of course, holding her hand, but this time,he'sasleep, his head on her hip and his large body contorted in a way that she knows must be uncomfortable.
She doesn't wake him, though, because she can see the worry lines on his forehead and the exhaustion in his face.
He likely hasn't slept since she'd been brought in, and uncomfortable or not, he needs the rest.
She watches him for a long time, her pain muted enough that she can rest without needing intervention this time. Her shoulder aches, of course, but it's not the deep-seated ache of before, the ache that made her nearly vomit with pain.
I was shot,she remembers, and she sighs as she slides her hand over her belly.
She's going to be out for several weeks, and then on desk duty after that. By the time she's allowed back in the field, she's going to be too big and miserable to patrol effectively.
She's going to have to wait to take the TO exam.
Or, if Grey will let her take it next week anyway, she'll have to wait tobe a TO.
Tears spring to her eyes as she realizes that, once again, her plans are being put on hold.
Herlifeis being put on hold.
Twenty-three more weeks of pregnancy,ifshe can go all the way to her due date, and then another twelve weeks or more of maternity leave.
Almost nine more months before she can eventhinkabout being a TO.
It'sfrustrating.
She doesn't regret her babies, of course, but she feelsdefeated.
It seems that, no matter what she does, her dreams are always crushed,ruined.
First being an undercover cop and detective.
Now being a TO.
It seems that no matter what she aims for, shefails,and it's hard not to take it personally after so long.
Her mom had said she would fail.
Maybe she should have listened.
By the time Tim begins to stir and eventually wakes up, Lucy is crying silently, her hands balled into fists, her lip bitten until it's red and swollen.
"I'mmad,"she whispers when he gives her a concerned look, straightening up with a wince to scoot closer to her side. "No matter what I do, Ifail.I failed at becoming an undercover cop. I failed at becoming a detective. I failed at becoming a TO. I failed in our relationship. No matterwhatI do, Ifail,Tim. I just…god,why can nothing in my life go right?"
She wants to scream and throw things and maybe even storm out dramatically, but she's even failing at that.
She can't evenget out of bed.
Tim's expression is shattered, though he tries to hide it as he climbs onto the bed behind her and pulls her into his arms. He's careful of her shoulder, immobilized and in a sling, as he tucks her head into the crook of his neck and lets her cry.
The pain in her shoulder pales in comparison to the pain in her heart, anyway, becausegod,she just keepsfailing.
"You did not failanyof those things, Lucy," he murmurs, his lips pressing to her hair as he pauses before continuing."Youdid not fail in our relationship,Idid. You didn't fail becoming an undercover cop or detective, either. That was, again, because ofme."
"Because ofPrimm,"Lucy hisses angrily, becausethatat least wasn't Tim's fault.
"Because of Primmandme," he murmurs, tightening his arms around her. "And you didn't fail at becoming a TO, Lucy. I won'tletyou fail. Grey will let you take your test next week, I'll make sure of it, and once these babies are here safe and sound, I can stay home with them while you go become a kick ass TO. Getting shot doesn't mean youfailed,Lucy.Ifailed you. Janes failed you. Butyoudidn't fail."
Lucy sniffles and feels a little better as she burrows further into Tim's arms.
He's warm and comforting, and she'smissedhim holding her like this, tucking her entire body into his and surrounding her in a way that makes her feelsafe.
"You'd really stay home?" she asks eventually, the fingers of her good hand playing with the material of Tim's henley.
Tim nods and presses his cheek to her hair.
"Yeah, I would. I've been thinking about it, actually," he murmurs. "You'll need to take twelve weeks, minimum, to heal from the birth. But after that,Ican take a turn. It's high timeyouhad a chance to show everyone at the station what a badass you are. I can stay with the girls until they're old enough for daycare."
Lucy bites her lip and purposely doesn't tease Tim about his steadfast belief that both of their babies are girls. "I don't want them going to daycare until they can talk," she whispers, though she knows it's a huge ask.
Tim would be home with them for a year,at least,if not two.
"Yeah?"
She nods slowly. "Yeah. Until they cantell usif something is wrong, or if something happens, I don't want them with anyone but friends and family."
She's heard horror stories.
She'srespondedto horror stories of babies being abused and hurt in daycare, unable to speak or advocate for themselves.
"I know it's a long time. You probably don't want to stay homethatlong."
Tim's heart beats reassuringly under her ear as he taps his fingers against her back.
"It's longer than I was envisioning, yeah. But… I don't hate the idea. I'd make a pretty hot stay at home dad. DILF, I think it's called?"
"Yeah?" Lucy asks, her lips curling into a smile as she giggles. "Have dinner ready when I get home? Rub my feet?"
Tim chuckles.
"Whatever you want, babe."
They're silent for a long time until Lucy pulls back to meet his gaze.
"What's a DILF?"
Tim's cheeks redden as his gaze slides away from hers.
"I think it's 'dad-I'd-like-to-fuck," he says, his lips curling into a smirk as he meets her eyes again. "You can thank Angela for that one."
Lucy hums and presses her hand over his heart, a smile playing at her lips as she eyes him up and down slowly, her lip between her teeth.
"I can't argue with that one," she whispers, and she's known Tim long enough, has beenwith himlong enough, to see the heat in his eyes.
They haven't eventalkedabout taking that step in their relationship again, but she's been silently fantasizing as the pregnancy hormones have ravaged her body.
Shewantshim.
Heisa dad she'd like to fuck.
"As soon as your arm is better," he promises, his voice rough, and Lucy giggles as she buries her face in his chest.
"Promise?"
Tim nods, his hand sliding away from her back to cup her cheek as he guides her eyes back to his.
"Iswear,"he murmurs, his voice dripping with heat andwantas he stares at her unflinchingly.
She has to break their gaze eventually, though, because she's in actual danger of pushing him down onto the bed and climbing him like a tree, injury be damned, and besides, she's too dizzy.
Falling off of the bed and hurting herotherarm while in the hospital would bemortifyingand she doesn't think she'd ever live it down.
"Get some rest," Tim murmurs, feeling the shift in her body language as she melts into him. "Your pressures are still low and I know you must be tired. I'll be here when you wake up. We have a lot to talk about later."
Lucy yawns and nods, closing her eyes as she relaxes her body against him.
She wants to ask Tim what they need to talk about, but before she can, she's drifting off into a dreamless slumber.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed the heck out of this little reprieve, because the drama is back full force soon and next chapter we get to see what happens with Janes!
(Also Tim is totally a DILF. Argue with the wall. )
As always, comments and kudos make me smile! Let me know what you think!
Chapter 26
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Lucy wakes up for a fourth time just as the sun is setting, and Tim smiles as he brushes his fingers through her hair. She stirs slowly, making sleepy little noises and shifting in the bed like she does when she wakes up in the morning.
She's always fought waking up, and it makes Tim smile.
It's one of the things he loves about her, how she sets four different alarms so she can turn them off and go back to sleep, how she moans and begs forjust five more minuteswhen her final alarm goes off and he tries to bribe her out of bed with kisses and pancakes.
"Hey," he murmurs, pressing his lips to her temple as she finally blinks her eyes open.
"Hi."
Her voice is hoarse and he can tell immediately that she's in pain, so he hits the nurse call button silently as she licks her dry lips.
"Water?"
Tim hums and reaches out for the white Styrofoam cup on her bedside table. He angles the straw so she can slide it between her lips, and holds the cup steady while she takes small, slow drinks.
Once she's done she collapses back against him, tired from the simple movement. He continues to scratch his fingernails across her scalp as she relaxes against him, shifting occasionally from the pain.
The nurse enters the room just as Tim is about to go andfind one,and he breathes a sigh of relief as she walks over to them.
"Hey. Someone called?"
Tim nods.
"She's in pain. Can she have more pain meds yet?"
"She can have a little bit," the nurse says, smiling as she logs into the computer to order the medication. "We're trying to keep her on the lowest possible dose so that we can taper off easier once she no longer needs it."
"I'm okay," Lucy whispers, pressing a hand over her belly. "I don't want to hurt the babies."
The nurse smiles at her reassuringly. "It won't hurt them, hon. The main risk is withdrawal and we plan on tapering you off completely before you leave us. We'll have you switched to Tylenol soon, but you need a few days of the good stuff to heal. Toughing it out isn't any better for the babies. If you're stressed, they're stressed."
"Oh," Lucy whispers, and she sighs as she slumps back against Tim.
The nurse nods and logs out of the computer.
"I put the order in, and someone should be here soon with something to help you feel better. Ring if you need anything, hon."
Tim and Lucy both nod and thank her, and then they're alone again.
They lay together in silence until Lucy finally whispers, "You said we needed to talk?"
Tim sighs and slides out from behind her, rearranging her blankets and tucking her in before perching on the side of her bed.
He wants to be able to see her face for this.
"Yeah," he murmurs. "A lot… a lot happened. How much do you remember before you got shot?"
Lucy bites her lip as she thinks, her face screwed up in concentration and confusion.
"Not much," she finally admits. "I remember staying back and then approaching the scene when you said it was clear."
Tim nods, swallowing thickly as he remembers the events that had led to the shooting.
He wishes he could go back in time and tell Lucy to stay where she was.
He could havepreventedher getting shot, if only he'd known.
"Officer Janes failed to secure the suspect correctly," he says, brushing a hand over the stubble on his jaw as he glances at Lucy's thickly wrapped and immobilized shoulder. "The cuffs were too loose. He got free, got the gun, and got two shots off before I disarmed him."
Lucy's expression slowly morphs from confused to angry, but she doesn't speak.
"I went to Grey and asked to have her removed from the FTO program. Commander West was already there. He…"
He trails off and swallows, blowing out a breath as his eyes wander the room. He doesn'twantto tell Lucy this part, not after she'd just had a breakdown about everything she feels she's failed, because what if this is justone more thing?Heknowsher, and he's afraid that she'll blame herself for Officer Janes being distracted and sloppy.
"What, Tim?" Lucy murmurs.
She bridges the space between them and takes his hand into hers, brushing her thumb over his knuckles as he slowly returns his gaze to hers.
"He told me that Officer Janes had already submitted a complaint. Against… againstus."
Lucy's confusion is back, but this time it's mixed with disbelief andanger.
"Onwhat grounds?"she growls, sitting forward quickly. She winces when her shoulder is jarred, and then moans as she presses a hand to her forehead, slumping back against the bed as her vision spins. "That'sbullshit,Tim, and surely Commander West and Sergeant Grey know that. She hasno groundto stand on, she's just trying to salvage her career. What abitch."
Tim cracks a small smile as Lucy rants, chuckling as her cheeks redden from frustration.
"That's exactly what she's doing, but unfortunately IA is required to investigate, anyway. I didn't want to tell you, but… Commander West said he was going to come see you later, both to see how you're doing and take your official statement about what happened. But… I wouldn't worry too much, Luce. We have body cam footage to back up what happened. We haveneverbeen unprofessional while on duty, at least not to any level that would get us in trouble. Bantering and sass aren't discipline worthy."
Lucy snorts and shakes her head as she massages her temples with her free hand.
"This is sostupid.She's been coming on to you forweeks,has been unprofessional multiple times, and fucked upbadlytoday. Or, wait. Was it yesterday? God, how long have I even been out?"
Tim smiles and rests his hand on her thigh.
"Yesterday. You slept through the day and night and most of today, too."
Lucy groans and Tim sighs.
"That's not all, though."
"What else could therepossibly be?I was shot and Officer Janes is somehow trying to make itmyfault."
"I…" Tim winces, licking his lips as he remembers how he'd shouted at Officer Janes in earshot of both Officers Jan and Thorsen. "I may have outed us. About the babies, I mean. I didn't mean to, but Janes came into the hospital before we heard anything and I kind of lost it on her. I yelled. A lot. And there was something in there about the babies, and Iknowthey heard but neither one of them has said anything."
Lucy moves her hand from her face so that she can meet Tim's eyes.
"Oh. Well, that's not that big of a deal. We were going to tell them soon, anyway, and both Jan and Aaron know how to be discreet. They'll probably wait untilwesay something to bring it up."
"At this point, it's probably a running joke that we think peopledon'tknow," Tim grumbles, chuckling lightly as he begins ticking names off on his fingers. "Grey knows. Angela, too, and Celina and Smitty. Smittyalonehas probably told four-fifths of the station. It's gonna be like when we finally told people that we were dating."
Lucy snorts inelegantly.
" 'We know.'I mean, they could have at leastpretendedto be surprised."
"Is this supposed to be news?"Tim says, a near perfect imitation of his best friend. "God, Angela wasinsufferablefor weeks."
Lucy giggles and meets Tim's eyes as she lays her hand over her stomach. The bands wrapped around her belly get in the way as Tim places his hand over hers, warm and secure over their babies.
"It's okay if they know. Iwantthem to know, you know?"
Tim nods slowly.
He wants people to know, too.
He'sproudandexcitedfor his babies and he can't wait to show them off. He's going to parade them around the station and make everyone admire how perfect they are, how wonderful Lucy is for giving him such a gift.
Heis going to be the insufferable one this time.
"Well, I'm glad you're not mad at me," he murmurs. "I was worried because I knew you wanted to tell everyone at a barbecue at our new house."
"Mmmm," Lucy hums, smiling as she turns her head and catches Tim's eye. "I did. Ido.But if they know, they know. We can justcelebratethe babies and the house andusat the barbecue instead."
"That sounds good," Tim says, watching as Lucy wiggles a little to get more comfortable. She winces when she moves her shoulder, and he wishes there was something he could do to take away her pain but he knows there's not.
He's still staring at her, his eyes soft and his stomach warm and swirly with everything he feels for her, when there's a knock on the door, and their happy little bubble is popped in mere seconds when he glances up to see Sergeant Grey and Commander West standing in the doorway.
"We come bearing gifts," Grey says, and Lucy chuckles weakly as she smiles at them. First Grey and then Commander West give her careful side hugs, and then they're presenting flowers and cards and various, small gift bags.
"Everyone at the station wanted to send something," Grey tells her softly.
Lucy nods, overcome with emotion as they surround her in the physical proof of how much she's loved.
Gift cards and teddy bears and handwritten cards and even a soft, fuzzy blanket to keep her warm.
"Tell them thank you," she whispers.
Grey promises he will, and Tim steels himself as Commander West takes over the conversation.
"I wish we were just here to deliver gifts," he begins, and Lucy sighs as the smile slips from her lips.
"I know. Tim told me," she says. She reaches for the controller to her bed and raises herself up until she's mostly sitting. Tim re-tucks her blankets around her body, knowing she'll likely get cold if she doesn't have them, and then perches on the edge of her bed, his hand settling over hers where she's picking at a loose thread on her sheet.
"Officer Janes is filing a formal complain against you and Tim for unprofessional behavior, basically stating that she's being unfairly treated due to your personal relationship," Grey murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches them. "Which we all know is bullshit."
Commander West sends him a sharp glare, and Grey chuckles as he shrugs.
"It's true and you know it. You just can'tsayit because your IA."
West doesn't confirm nor deny Grey's statement, but his lips do twitch as if he's trying to hold back a smile.
"She wrote in her report that she forgot to tighten the handcuffs because she was 'distraught' by you yelling at her because you were jealous of how Tim interacted with her."
Lucy rolls her eyes. "That's not true and the body cameras will back me up."
"Janes' body camera was off," West says.
Tim's jaw clenches.
"That should beanothermark against her," he says, frowning.
"There's nothing in the regulations saying it has to be on at all times," Grey supplies. "Just when you're responding to a call, and she turned it on as soon as dispatch contacted you."
"Butminewas on, right?" Lucy asks, her voice small.
If it wasn't and they can'tprovewhat was said…
"Yes," Commander West confirms, nodding. "Yours was on the whole time. We've already reviewed the footage."
"And?" Tim asks.
Commander West raises an eyebrow. "You know I can't reveal that, Sergeant. Our investigation is ongoing. I'm here today to hear Lucy's side of the story about the conversation between her and Officer Janes as well as her version of the shooting."
Lucy sighs and takes a few slow, deep breaths as she tries to recall all of the details.
"It started out like a normal day," she begins, licking her dry lips as she speaks. Tim reaches for her water cup without being asked, letting her take a few slow sips before continuing. "We responded to a few calls with no incident, and then Tim noticed I was hungry and we stopped for coffee and pastries. Tim and I went inside while Janes waited in the shop. When we got back I was eating my chocolate croissant and Janes said something along the lines of 'are you sure you should be eating that' and then told me I'd gained weight. I told her to get out of the shop and we had a conversation where I told her that her words were inappropriate and unprofessional. I may have gotten a little heated, but I didnotverbally abuse her. After that we got back in the shop and then received the call for the robbery. When we got there, I decided to stay back because of reports of gunshots. I was only supposed to be observing and I'm pregnant, as you know. I determined the risk wasn't worth it and offered cover fire. After Sergeant Bradford subdued the suspects I approached. Officer Janes was cuffing the two men at that point. Shortly after, one of the men broke free and I was shot. That's all I remember."
Commander West nods, his face solemn as he brushes his hand over his chin in thought.
"Your story matches Sergeant Bradford's as well as the video camera footage, so I don't believe that Officer Janes will have a leg to stand on for that portion of her complaint."
Tim's head snaps up.
"Excuse me?That portionof her complaint? What else is there?"
Grey sighs and drops into one of the chairs beside Lucy's bed, rubbing a hand across his bald head.
"Officer Janes amended her report this afternoon, said she was too scared to come forward before now."
"Aboutwhat?"Lucy asks, voice incredulous.
"She reported that, on more than one occasion, Sergeant Bradford indicated that she would score better on her evaluations if she were to do him…favors."
Tim's jaw drops open and Lucy lurches forward in the bed, groaning as pain explodes behind her eyes.
"He would never!" she cries, her voice distraught. "There's no proof! Tim would… hewouldn't do that!"
Tim swallows and presses his heels into his eyes until he sees stars.
Fuck.
He'd had a bad feeling about this woman since the first day.
He should havesaidsomething.
"I wouldnever,"he whispers incredulously.
Even when he'd been half in love with Lucy during her rookie year, he would haveneverdreamed of making a move.
Never!
Grey sighs, and though Tim knows he doesn't think him capable of taking advantage of his rookies, he's not surprised by his next words.
"Regardless, we have to investigate. She said that all of the interactions took place while out of uniform, so we're reviewing the station's camera footage and tracking your movements within the building over the last months. So far we haven't come across anything unprofessional or reallyanyconversations between the two of you outside of uniform, but there's a lot of footage to cover. We also need to interview your former rookies and her instructors and peers at the academy, see if there's a pattern of behavior fromeitherof you. It's… this will be ongoing, and you're on paid leave until we come to a decision."
Tim nods and drops back in his chair, his heart heavy and his stomach sinking like a stone.
"You won't find anything on my end," he promises.
Commander West nods. "I'm counting on that, son, but maybe we can find a pattern of behavior onherend. Grey will keep you updated as much as he's allowed, but you can expect this to take a week or two."
Tim swallows and nods, his hand blindly finding Lucy's and holding on tight as he stares at the floor.
"Thank you, sir. Thank you, Commander West."
They both nod and stand to leave, and Tim catches Lucy's eye as they walk out of the door after wishing her a speedy recovery.
"Tim," she whispers, and he shakes his head as he stands, bending over to kiss her tears away.
"Hey, baby, it's okay. We're going to be okay, all right? This… this will pass, because there isnotruth to her words. You know that, right?"
Lucy nods and then wraps her good arm around Tim, dropping her head to his chest as they hold each other in the fading light of the sun outside of her hospital room.
Notes:
I promise Janes is gone soon!
Kudos and comments feed my soul and my muse!
Chapter 27
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"Timothy Alexander Bradford, I swear togod—"
Tim grimaces and holds his hands up in a universal sign of surrender. He eyes Lucy like she's some sort of wild animal that may pounce at any moment, and begins to back away slowly as she glares at him from her blanket cocoon on the couch.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes, though he's notentirely certainwhat he's apologizing for. "I just want to help."
Lucy continues to glare for a moment longer, and then deflates as she sighs, pulling her blanket tighter around her body with her one good hand.
"No,I'msorry," she whispers, leaning her head back until it thumps on the back of the couch. "I'm just… I'mcranky.I have two days before my TO exam and I feel like shit. My shoulder hurts because I wasshot,my back hurts and I'm moody because I'mpregnant,and I've been cooped up at home or in the hospital forfive days.I'm worried about my babies and their upcoming tests and I'm about to go stir crazy. And to make it a hundred times worse, I don't even have the stress relief option available that I had when I was studying for the detectives exam!"
Tim raises an eyebrow and chances a single step closer to his radioactive girlfriend.
(Isshe his girlfriend? The lines have becomesoblurred recently).
"What stress relief option is that? I can go get it for you, whatever it is," he says, eyeing the array of things he's already brought her. Tea, Tylenol, snacks, her computer, books, highlighters, index cards, and about a million empty mugs that he needs to take to the sink and wash.
He's beginning to reach for the closest empty mug when Lucy stares directly at him and says,"Sex,Tim. I don't havesexas a stress relief option anymore."
Tim drops the mug he's just picked up (it doesn't break, thankfully) and chokes a little as she eyes him like he's a particularly delicious steak she wants to devour.
He stares at her and she stares at him, and if they could fuck by staring into each others eyes, they'd already be metaphorically naked.
"I mean, wecould—"he begins, but before he can finish propositioning his ex-girlfriend (maybe sort-of current girlfriend?) and baby mama, his phone rings.
He turns to glare at it as Lucy moans and flops as dramatically as her injured arm will allow.
"Soclose," she grumbles as Tim reaches blindly for his phone, brain still partly broken becausesex sex sex. "And yet,so far."
"H-hello?" he stutters, pressing his phone to his ear as he stares at Lucy, flushed and frustrated and so,sobeautiful.
"Tim? Are you okay? You sound like you're out of breath."
Tim grimaces and says goodbye to any and all sexy thoughts as Sergeant Grey's voice washes over him.
"Yes, sir," he says, clearing his throat as he tries desperately to push thoughts of a naked Lucy from his mind. "I was just… running."
Lucy laughs at him and he glares at her, mouthingthis isyourfaultas he tries to concentrate on what Grey is saying.
"What can I do for you, sir?"
There's a sigh on the other end of the phone, and Tim braces himself for whatever bad news Grey has to offer.
"You going to need to call me Wade for this conversation, son, because I'm not calling as your Sergeant. I'm calling as your friend."
Tim sits down on the edge of the couch and puts the phone on speaker, settling it between his body and Lucy's because whatever Grey has to say to him, he can say to Lucy as well.
"All right, Wade," he agrees. "We're listening."
"Internal Affairs hasn't come to anofficialruling, but they are conducting their final interview today."
Tim nods and catches Lucy's eye. He can see that she's just as anxious as he is, worry clouding her features and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Tim knows he looks much the same, because despite the fact that theyknowthey've done nothing wrong, there's always thewhat ifs.
"And?" he murmurs finally, though he's not entirely sure he wants to hear what Grey has to say.
"I think you'd be interested in listening in on this interview. Not officially, of course, but if you happened to be in the station and observed the interrogation…"
Tim raises an eyebrow.
"Who is it, Wade?"
"Officer Janes,"he says.
Tim's eyebrow reaches new heights as he stares at his phone.
"And why would I want to sit in on that interview after everything she's done and said?"
"Because Commander West has some… interesting new information to present to Janes in the interview. He's going to give her a chance to withdraw her complaint and leave the LAPD peacefully, and if she doesn't take it…"
Tim feels a smile begin to stretch his lips, because even though Grey hasn't outright told him IA's ruling, he's givingplentyof hints to lead them in the right direction.
"So, if Lucy and I were to come into the station today to talk about her medical leave, or about her upcoming exam…"
"I might catch you in the hallway and ask if you wanted to watch from the observation room."
Tim glances up at Lucy to see her smiling, too, her brown eyes sparkling at the prospect of getting to witness Janes' downfall.
She's not a vindictive person, Tim knows, but Janes had messed with thewrongpeople because Lucy isfiercelyprotective of those she loves, and he's fortunate to count himself among those people.
"Sounds good, Wade. We'll see you soon, then."
"See you soon."
Tim hangs up the phone and catches Lucy's gaze, smiling crookedly as he cocks his head to the side.
"Want to go watch Janes get her ass handed to her?"
"Hellyes!"
Tim offers a hand and pulls Lucy to her feet, smoothing her sweater down and brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. He smiles at her for a long moment, charmed by her even when she's in an over-sized sweater with her hair in a messy bun. He presses his palm to her cheek and brushes his thumb over her warm skin, and she smiles as she turns her head and presses her lips to his wrist.
"Let's go and end this."
Grey stands with them in the observation room, watching as Janes fidgets with her hands, alternatively staring at the door and the camera in the corner.
She looks nervous, like a caged animal, and it makes Tim smile.
He'snot a vindictive person either, usually, but the way Janes had treated Lucy set his blood on fire. And on top of that, she'd tried to ruin his career.
He's not likely to forgive her anytime soon, and he knows she deserves everything that's about to happen to her.
"Here we go," Grey murmurs, and Tim watches as the interrogation room door opens. Janes jumps and then pastes on a fake smile, greeting Commander West with the same happy expression that's set Tim on edge since day one.
"Good afternoon, Commander," she says, her voice sickly sweet.
Commander West raises an eyebrow as he sits down and drops a file on the desk separating them. "Whether it's a good one or not remains to be seen."
Janes cocks her head to the side in confusion and Tim smirks from behind the window.
"Now, Officer Janes, I brought you here to clarify some details of your complaint," Commander West begins, flipping open the file. "I wanted to make sure that you don't want to revise or redact anything from your official report before we begin, however."
Janes makes a face. "And why would I want to do that? How Officers Bradford and Chen treated me was a disgrace, and I stand by every word in my report."
"Sergeant Bradford," Commander West says.
"What?"
"He'sSergeantBradford."
Janes makes another face as Lucy reaches out to press her hand against his arm. Tim turns to her and smiles, taking a step closer to her as they watch.
"Whatever. I stand by every word of my report. I wasveryuncomfortable with the way he treated me and came on to me, and I believethat'swhy I was distracted and didn't tighten the handcuffs of our suspect properly. It'stheirfault Officer Chen was shot, andIshouldn't be punished for it."
Commander West hums as Tim feels Lucy's fingers tighten on his skin, her nails digging in as she tries to hold back her frustration.
"Well then, Officer Janes, our investigation was completed this afternoon, and I'm here to tell you our findings."
She smirks, confident that she's going to be pleased with the outcome.
"Are they going to be disciplined?" she asks, leaning forward in her seat.
"No," Commander West says simply, his own lips twitching into an aborted smile as he turns the file he'd put on the desk toward her. "In fact, it'syouwho is going to be disciplined, Officer Janes, and not only for submitting a false report and failing to secure a scene that resulted in major injury to an officer."
Janes' smile slowly slips as her eyes rake over the papers in front of her.
Commander West sets his elbows on the desk and leans in closer as he continues speaking.
"You see, Officer Janes — or should I sayAlicia,since as soon as we're done here you'll no longer be an officer — part of our investigative process is to dig into the lives of both the accused and the accuser and see if we can find patterns of behavior. We interviewed eleven of Sergeant Bradford's previous rookies, and all of them told us the same thing — there's no way inhellSergeant Bradford would proposition you for sexual favors. However, when we looked intoyourpast, specifically your time at the academy, we foundseveralinteresting patterns."
Officer Janes pushes away the file sitting in front of her and swallows, her eyes wide and panicked, her skin flushed and sweaty.
"Stop," she whispers, but Commander West ignores her.
"We found that you should have failed multiple classes during your six months. Wealsofound that you suddenly somehow got passing marks in those classes overnight, from three different instructors. We honestly should be thanking you, because we cleaned house at the Academy and our new recruits coming in after this should bemuchbetter prepared. It turns out thatyouwere the one offering sexual favors to get what you wanted. You even threatened to tell Instructor Lions' wife about your little affair when he told you he wasn't comfortable changing your grade after the fact, so we can add blackmailing to your list of crimes. It seems, Alicia, thatyouare the one that has shown a pattern of unprofessional behavior, and that you're used to getting your way."
"No," she whispers, shaking her head, but Commander West barely lets her get a word in edgewise.
"Give me your badge and gun."
She swallows and stares at Commander West, her eyes wide, wet, and pleading.
"Please don't do this," she whispers. "I'm-I'm a good cop! Icanbe a good cop! It's just that Officer Bra— I mean,SergeantBradford isn't a good instructor, I was just trying to salvage my career since he cared more about fucking his subordinate thantraining me,and—"
"Stopright there."
Tim jolts in surprise as Grey's voice joins the conversation, glancing around the observation room in shock to realize that, at some point, he'd left them alone.
Officer Janes' mouth snaps shut with an audible click as Grey enters the room and stands behind Commander West, his arms crossed over his chest.
"We've heard adifferentstory from Sergeant Bradford about howyouwere coming ontohimsexually, a story that has been backed up by body cameras, shop cameras, and the cameras here at the station. Once he made it clear he had no interest in you, you tried to ruin his life.Trust me,Officer Janes, youdo notwant to make this worse than it already is. You can leave here and build a new career, but if you continue this line of mistruth, Sergeant Bradford may want to slap you with a slandering lawsuit and it could very well ruin your life. So, hand over your badge and gun. You are dismissed from the LAPD effective immediately."
Janes stares at both men with tears slipping silently down her cheeks.
She doesn't move to reach for her badge, though, and Tim reaches for Lucy's good hand as they wait, their hearts in their throat, to see what she's going to do.
Eventually she sniffles and stands, reaching with shaking hands to unclip it from her uniform. She slams it onto the table and then reaches for her gun, and Tim feels Lucy's body deflate in relief next to his.
"It's over," she whispers, and Tim nods as he turns, no longer interested in watching Janes' little show, to take Lucy into his arms. He holds her carefully so as not to put pressure on her injury, the sling thick and bulky between them as he tucks her head into his neck and kisses her hair.
"It's over," he agrees, sighing as he lets the relief wash over him.
Lucy's safe andalive,and Janes has been dealt with.
Now all he has to worry about is buying Lucy's house and helping her move, and their two precious babies.
And her TO exam, of course.
God,he can't wait to catch a break.
But this is a start, he thinks, and he smiles as he watches Janes storm out of the interrogation room.
Notes:
Did you like Janes' downfall? I couldn't have Tim punch her without him being written up but I decided verbal evisceration and some public humiliation would work just as well!
As always, comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 28
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
"Lucy, you need to take a break."
Lucy glances up, pen clenched tightly between her teeth, to see Tim leaning against the counter and staring at her with furrowed brows. He looks worried, his arms crossed over his chest and his lips pulled down into a deep frown.
"I'm fine," she murmurs, shaking her head as she shuffles her index cards.
"No, you're not. You wereshota week ago."
She winces at the reminder, rolling her shoulders and groaning when theachesettles deep in her bones. She's off of the good meds now, both for her sake and the sake of the babies, but she's maxed out her dose of Tylenol and itstillhurts.
Mostly she's just been trying to ignore it.
"My test is tomorrow," she murmurs, shaking her head as she begins going through her index cards again.
Allof her tests are tomorrow, actually, her TO test first thing in the morning followed by the tests that Dr. Kovac had ordered with the fetal medicine specialist in the afternoon.
"You've been studying for this test since the moment Grey told you that you were going to take it," Tim argues, sighing as he pushes off the edge of the counter. He walks into the living room, looking unfairly sexy in jeans and a grey henley, and sits on the edge of the couch before reaching out to cup her chin and force her to meet his gaze. "You'reready,Lucy. You're going to do fine."
Lucy just shakes her head, though, unable to verbalize her thoughts as she stares at the index cards she had long ago memorized.
She's not worried about the TO exam.
She's worried about theultrasound,and the only way she can keep her mind off of it is to distract herself with studying.
Tim sighs and drops his hand from her face, tugging the index cards from her grip.
Lucy squeaks in indignation and glares at him, reaching with her one good hand to try and take them back as he holds them out of her reach.
"That's not playing fair and youknow it,"she grunts, kicking him in the shin as he holds them higher in the air each time she reaches for them. She only has one arm to work with, the other still completely immobilized by the sling, and he has a considerable height advantage over her as well.
"I know," Tim confirms, smirking like the asshole he is as he waves the cards in the air. "But if playing dirty is the only way I can get you to take a break…"
Lucy slumps back onto the couch in defeat, a pout on her lips as she glares at him from the little nest of blankets she'd made this morning to study in.
She'd been perfectly happy studying away her morning before Tim had shown up with coffee and breakfast and had proceeded to pester her about taking a break.
"Imuchprefer the way you got me to take breaks when I was studying for the detectives exam," she grumbles, and she can see the exact moment her words register in Tim's brain. His pupils dilate and he sucks in a breath, his lips wet and open as his eyes dart across her body.
She recognizes the heat in his gaze, had spentmonthsresponding to that heat on every possible surface in every possible room before he'd broken up with her.
She shifts in her little blanket nest, suddenly hot andwetin places she wasn't before.
Damn these pregnancy hormones.
Damn Tim fordistractingher.
"Lucy," he groans, and she bites her lip as she glances up at him, a strangled moan in her throat when she sees thefirein his gaze.
"Tim,"she challenges.
His fingers dig into his own thighs as his beautiful blue eyes rake over her. She can almost physically feel his gaze on her, setting her body on fire, and she wants to grab his hand and haul her into the bedroom but more than she needs an orgasm, she needs toknow.
She doesn't have to be the brave one this time, though, because Tim is already two steps ahead of her.
"You almostdied,"he whispers, his voice thick as he unclenches his fingers from his jeans and brushes his open palms down his thighs. She can see that he's notunaffectedby their little cat and mouse game, though, his jeans tented in obvious arousal despite the seriousness of his words. "You almost died, Lucy, and I … I realized that…"
"That you didn't want to waste any more time?" she murmurs, finishing his sentence as she glances at him from underneath her lashes.
Tim smiles and licks his lips, wetting them in an unfairly alluring way as he nods.
"Yeah. Yeah,exactlythat. Yesterday before Grey called, I was thinking and… we've already blurred a lot of lines, you know? And I was wondering… I can still make it up to you if we're dating, right? I plan to continue making up for my mistakes forthe rest of my life,Lucy, and I was wondering…"
He trails off again and Lucy bites her cheek as she scoots closer to him on the couch. He sets her index cards down and shealmostreaches for them so that she can triumphantly claim them as hers again, but she knows this conversation is too important to brush off even if it is for a good cause.
Shealsoknows she's going to have to be the one to make theofficialmove here because he won't.
He's letting her takeeverythingat her pace, including when they become athemagain.
(Though they've been athema lot longer than she thinks either of them realizes, the lines blurred by the house and the babies and the hospital).
"If we could continue to heal togetherwhiledating?" she murmurs, finishing his thought.
Tim swallows thickly and nods.
"Yeah. So… what do you think?"
Lucy sits back and bites her lip, considering.
She knows Tim won't accept anything other than a well thought out answer, despite the fact that it's clear he wants her as much as she wants him.
She loves him.
That's the most important thing, of course.
But if she were talking to the Lucy of a few months ago, the Lucy who was hurting in the immediate aftermath of Tim walking away, there would beotherconditions, too, before she'd even consider taking him back.
Therapy, for one. With arealtherapist, not a dirty one with ulterior motives.
Couples therapy, too.
Communication, signs that he's in this for the long haul, signs that he's sorry about what he did.
She'd requireallof those things, but the thing is…
Tim's alreadydoneall of that.
He's in therapy,they'rein therapy, and he bought her ahouse.
Notthem.
Her.
He boughthera house, and the only reason he'd reluctantly put his name on the paperwork was because Lucy told him he had to.
He'd had no ulterior motives there, no grand plan to get back in her pants. He'd bought her a house because she'd said, in passing one day, that she'd need more room to raise the baby. And then he'd planned it all out andbought her a houseso that she could raise their babies in a nice neighborhood with lots of room to run and play.
"You bought me a house," she whispers, her lips stretching into a smile as she reaches out to take one of his hands into hers.
Tim makes a confused noise, unable to follow her train of thought.
Lucy giggles and scoots closer, pressing her hip to his as she places one hand on his chest, right over his rapidly beating heart.
"Youbought me a house,Tim. You'rein this,aren't you?"
He smiles now, clearly catching on. His eyes are half lidded and so full of love that it makes her heartache,and she nearly whimpers when he reaches up to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her jaw gently, lovingly.
"Yeah, Luce. I'min this.I always have been. Breaking up with you was a split second thought from averybroken man, and while I'm still a little bit broken, I'm healing. I'm making myself a better man for you and our babies."
"Okay," Lucy whispers, smiling as she turns her head to press her lips to Tim's palm.
"Okay what?" he breathes, unwilling to hope despite the silly grin stretching his lips.
"Okay… yes. Yes, you can keep making it up to mewhilewe date."
Tim sucks in a breath through his teeth, his heart beating rapidly under her palm as she tightens her fingers in the material of his henley.
"So… you'll be my girlfriend again?"
Lucy rolls her eyes playfully, giggling as she swings one leg over Tim's so that she's straddling him on the couch.
"What are we, middle schoolers?Yes,Tim, I'll be your girlfriend again."
"Awesome," he whispers, and then he's leaning forward, bringing his lips to hers and stealing her breath away.
It's not like they haven't kissed since the breakup, but each time he'd pressed his lips to her cheek or her forehead or even, memorably, herlipsthat one time, there had been the immediate realization ofwe're not together anymoresimmering just underneath the spark of happiness his lips had caused.
But now?
Now he'shers,and she doesn't plan on ever letting him walk away again.
She surges forward, her chest pressing to his as her hands cup his face, her eyes fluttering closed as she sucks on his bottom lip. Her tongue is tracing the warm, kiss-bitten skin, and shefeelsmore than hears him groan as he slides one hand under her shirt, his fingers splaying across her back, large and warm, holding her body to his. She whimpers as she pulls back just long enough to suck in some much needed air, taking in his glazed expression and the way his lips hang open, waiting for hers again.
She wastes no time kissing him again, her fingers digging into his hair as she digs her knees into the couch on either side of his lap. She can feel him hot and hard between her thighs, and she doesn't feel even an ounce of shame as she rocks in his lap, her shorts and his jeans doing little to blunt the pleasure he sparks in her.
"Tim," she moans, breaking away to breathe. He chuckles against her ear as he kisses a path across her neck, his free hand sliding along her thigh and helping her move on top of him.
"Yeah?"
She grunts when the hand on her back slides around to her belly, cupping their babies for a long moment before sliding up her rounded belly and tracing the underside of her breasts.
"Tim."
Her voice is urgent,needy.
She knows what she wants but she doesn't know how to ask for it.
Tim understands, though.
He always does.
"Use me, baby," he whispers into her ear, his palm cupping her breast as his other hand slides into her shorts. Hegroanswhen he feels no resistance and she smirks, congratulating herself on her choice this morning to not wear any panties. "Come on, Luce. You need this, don't you, baby? You need to get off, torelax.So come on, baby, rock yourself on my lap. Take what you need from me."
Lucy moans and bites her lip, throwing her head back as Tim's fingers slide down her mound, cupping her and pressing against her clit. The pressure of his fingers and the way the seam of her shorts is sliding against her as she rocks over his erection isperfect,and she moans into Tim's ear, long and loud, as she shakes apart, her body gettingexactlywhat she's needed for so long.
Tim continues to gently pet her as she comes down from her high, his calloused fingers causing her to tremble each time he presses against her clit, until eventually she has to swat his hand away.
He grins at her,smug,proud of himself for being able to so thoroughly distract her from whatever was worrying her.
"Did you come?" she murmurs.
Tim shakes his head as he captures her lips again, smiling into the kiss as he caresses her belly.
"No, but it's okay," he says, his eyes sparkling as he presses his forehead to hers.
Lucy, though, just shakes her head.
"Nope," she says, giggling as she climbs off of his lap with shaking legs. "We havehoursbefore Celina is off shift, and I think you have quite a lot of time to make up for, mister."
She begins sauntering off to the bedroom, biting her lip to contain her grin as she waits for Tim's reaction.
She doesn't have to wait for long, though.
She squeals as Timliterallysweeps her off of her feet, clutching her close as he carries her into her bedroom, closing the door firmly behind them with a kick of his foot.
Notes:
So much to celebrate this chapter!
Chenford is officially back togerher!
Woo for Lucy FINALLY getting some stress relief!
The true question is, exactly HOW spicy do we want to go here? Do we need some smut before we hit the drama of ALL of Lucy's tests in one day?
As always, kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 29
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of loss of a baby
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim drops Lucy onto the bed (gently, always gently) and then stands back, his lips parted and his eyes half lidded as he stares at her, at the way her chest heaves and the way her cheeks are already stained a deep pink.
She'sbeautiful.
"Fucking gorgeous," he growls, and Lucy chuckles as he whips his shirt off in one smooth motion. He tosses it to the floor and stalks forward until his knees hit the mattress, and Lucy's giggles turn to shrieks of laughter as he grabs her ankles and pulls her forward until her thighs are around his and he's leaning down to capture her lips in a brief, but no less fiery, kiss.
When he pulls back he stares at her, one hand cupping her cheek while the other pushes her shirt up under her armpits. His breath catches when he sees her belly naked and on display, rounded and firm beneath his fingertips as he runs them from the bottom of her bump to the top.
"Lucy," he whispers, his voice thick.
She smiles and reaches her good hand down to cover his where it lays over their babies.
"Pretty amazing, huh?"
He nods and drops to his knees on the floor beside her bed, and Lucy's breath catches as she leans up onto her good elbow, watching as Tim stares at her in complete and utter awe. He catches her gaze as he leans forward, hands on her hips, to press his lips just below her belly button.
Lucy sucks a breath in as his lips begin a path downward, tracing first the taut skin of her belly before dipping lower, his tongue teasing at the edge of her panties. He grins and glances up, his stomach swooping when he sees that she's no longer even able to hold herself up on her elbow. She's flopped back onto the bed, her arm over her eyes as she breathes harshly in the silence of her bedroom.
Tim presses a kiss over her clothed mound and then slips his fingers beneath the band of her shorts.
"May I?"
"Yes."
Lucy's voice is needy, tight and high pitched as Tim begins to slide her shorts down. He lifts one leg and then the other, letting them fall limply back to the bed as he guides them out of the material. She's left laying there with her t-shirt rucked up beneath her armpits and her panties, simple and cotton, stretched across her wide, full hips, and Timgroansas he takes in the sight before him.
"GodI've missed this," he whispers.
Lucy chuckles and removes the arm covering her eyes, and Tim smiles up at her as he places a soft, chaste kiss over her panties.
"Tim," she gasps, and he hums in acknowledgement as he peppers kisses over her panties and down her thighs, spreading her legs wide for him as she reaches down and tangles her fingers in his hair. "Tim, get up here. I want…"
He knows what she wants.
Hell,hewants that, too.
But first…
Lucy cries out as he slides her panties off and touches her, and Tim grins, somethingferalawakening in him as her thighs clench around his shoulders.
He's missed this so much.
He misses taking her apart with his hands and mouth before finally giving her what she wants.
He misses kissing every inch of her body while she whimpers and whines.
He misses their bodies pressed tightly together, holding her afterward, breathing in the combined scent ofthem.
He's a man starving, and he fully plans on taking his fill tonight.
"Tim!"
Lucy shudders, her thighs tightening around his head as he pulls back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he wrings a second orgasm from her.
He feels smug, his lips twisted into a smile as he kisses her inner thighs and then over her mound, his nose bumping against her belly as he stares up at her, at the way she pants and tangles her fingers in her own hair.
"That was…" she pants, and Tim nods as he reaches down to unbutton his own jeans. Lucy groans and reaches down to help him, their fingers tangling as they unzip and unbutton, trying to shove the material out of the way but really only managing to shove at each other.
Tim laughs, kissing Lucy before he steps back to deal with his pants on his own.
"Take your shirt off," he murmurs, and Lucy nods, quickly sitting up to deal with her own shirt and bra, tugging them off and then growling when they get caught in her sling. Tim watches her, pupils dilated as he stares at every inch revealed to him, and nearly trips over his own feet as he kicks his boxer briefs off.
"Get over here, Tim," Lucy demands, and Tim chuckles as he mock salutes her.
"Yes, ma'am."
He climbs onto the bed and between her legs, one hand falling to her waist as he cups her face and kisses her, his hips spreading hers wide as he settles between them.
He kisses her for a long moment, lazy and slow, his tongue tangling with hers as he drinks hers in the way he's been missing since he walked away from her so long ago.
"Love you," he murmurs, dragging his lips from hers as he kisses a path down her neck. Lucy moans and turns her head to the side, letting him lick and suck at her tattoo as he works between them, sliding his fingers inside of her to tease her for a long moment before she rakes her fingernails down his back, causing pain to spark behind his eyes.
"Tim, I love you, too," she groans, scratching the back of his head as he grabs her hips and pulls them toward him. "But Ineed you,now.Ihaveneeded you for so long, soquit teasing me—"
They both groan as he slides home, stretching her wide as he joins their bodies in a way that seems as easy as breathing.
Hemissed this.
He missed her, her body, her sass,everythingabout her.
Lucy throws her head back onto the pillows as Tim kisses down her chest, his lips wrapping around her nipple as his hands cover her belly, caressing the taut skin as he sets a slow, easy rhythm.
Lucy runs her hand up and down his sweaty back, her fingernails digging into his skin as he makes love to her slowly the way he's wanted to do formonths.
The way he hopes he can continue to do every day of the rest of their lives together.
"Love you," he whispers into her ear, sliding his hands behind her back and pulling her body to his, their sweaty skin sliding together as he holds her close and makes love to her slowly.
He wants it to last forever, but he knows there's no way that he's going to be able to hold on much longer.
Thankfully he knows Lucy is just as close as he is, and he groans as they find their release together, their bodies still in sync the same way they were all those months ago.
Afterwards, Tim holds Lucy.
He holds her close, his hands never idle as their heart rates slow and their breathing returns to normal. He touches her everywhere he can reach, caressing and kissing her the way he's dreamed about every single night since he walked away from her.
"Mmmm that was amazing," Lucy murmurs slowly, her voice thick like syrup as she runs her foot up and down his calf.
Tim chuckles and nods, humming as he rolls over, bringing her with him. He settles her on his chest, being careful of her arm and the sling and her belly, and then pulls the blankets over their bodies as their sweat slowly begins to cool.
"Yeah, we're still pretty damn good at that, huh?"
Lucy nods and props her chin on his chest, staring up at him with sparkling eyes as her one good hand trails the muscles on his chest.
"Wealwayshave been," she says. "Ever since that first night."
Tim grins, his chest hot and tight at her words of praise as her little body writhes on top of his.
"Careful, baby," he murmurs, stilling her hips with a hand on her ass. "If you keep moving like that we're going to end up going for round two sooner rather than later."
Lucy presses a kiss to his chest between his nipples and smirks up at him.
"Who says that's not what Iwant?You have alotof time to make up for, Bradford," she says, and he chuckles as she nods her head toward her bedside table. "These damn hormones have been driving mecrazy.I've tried my vibrator, my fingers,everything —nothing compares toyou,Tim."
"I will gladly pay my penance," he says, heat in his gaze as his hand travels the swell of her ass. "But I need a minute, Luce. I'm not thirty years old anymore."
"You do just fine, if memory serves," she murmurs, raising an eyebrow at him as she wiggles her lips pointedly.
Tim smirks and pats her ass, his other hand playing with her hair.
"You arequitethe inspiration, babe," he says. "I'll be ready in a sec."
Lucy hums and lays her head on his chest, and though Tim knows she isdeadlyserious about him having time to make up for, healsoknows there must be something else on her mind.
Therehas beensomething else on her mind all evening, he knows, but he hadn't wanted to push her earlier. He'd asked once, and when she'd told himnothing, I'm fine,he'd let it drop.
Now, in the calm of the afterglow, he tries again.
"What's going on in your head, baby?"
Lucy sighs and doesn't respond, and Tim is about to resign himself to focusing on distracting her from whatever is wrong instead of talking about it when she finally shrugs and speaks.
"I'm worried about tomorrow," she whispers, not meeting his eyes.
Tim nods and considers his words carefully, not wanting to belittle her feelings but also not wanting to make her worrymorethan she already is.
"About what, specifically?" he finally murmurs, his fingers scratching at her scalp in the way he knows she loves, the way that always reduces her to a puddle. "What's yourbiggestfear about tomorrow, Luce?"
She sighs. "Well, obviously I'm worried about all of it. I'm worried about my TO exam, because what if I fail this one, too? No one willevertake me seriously if I failtwoexams, Tim. And don't tell me I didn't fail the Detective's Exam, because Idid.It doesn't matter that I only failed so badly because of Primm's grudge, in the eyes of every single person in the station, I gotseventeenthplace. It was posted for everyone to see. And if I failthisexam, too…"
Tim hums to let her know he's listening, but he also knows she's far from done.
"And I'm worried about the ultrasound, too, and the MRI. What if … what if they show that one of our babies is sick? What are we going to do if one of our babies doesn't make it, Tim? I can't… I don't know how I'll move on from that. I don't know if Ican."
"I don't know if I can, either," he whispers, his heart clenching at the mere thought of losing one of their babies.
Every single time he's imagined their future, he's imagined them withtwobaby girls, not one.
He wantsbothof his little girls, damn it.
"I don't know, Luce, but there's no point in worrying before we know more. Maybe there is something wrong, but maybe everything is fine. Dr. Kovac admitted that she's not an expert. Maybe when we go in tomorrow the tests will show that Baby B has caught up with Baby A and they'll tells us that we have two perfectly healthy little girls."
Lucy snorts the way Tim knew she would.
"Wereallyneed to find out if we're having girls or boys," she says, chuckling as she lays her ear over his chest to listen to his heart.
"It's two girls," he says confidently. "I know it is. Daddy's intuition, remember? And we're going to bring hometwo girls,Luce. We're bringing them both home, okay? If… If Baby Bissick, we do whatever we have to do. Surgery like Dr. Kovac said, or… or bed rest, or… whatever. I'll pay for any doctors we need to see, whatever surgeries you need or medications orwhatever. We'll do whatever it takes, okay?"
Lucy sniffles and nods, and while Tim knows that she doesn't believe him, that she can'tmake herselfbelieve him, he also knows that she takes strength in his certainty and so he makes himself sound sure in a way he sure ashelldoes not feel as he reassures her.
"It's gonna be okay. We'll go to your appointments tomorrow and they'll tell us exactly what we need to do to make sure we bring homebothof our little girls, all right?"
Lucy nods and then shifts, meeting his eye as he stares at her with so much love that his heart aches with it.
"What if we have a boy?" she asks, her voice deadly serious.
Tim chuckles, not expecting that line of questioning at all.
"Then we'll just have to keep trying because daddy want his two baby girls," Tim murmurs, smiling as he pats her ass. "But it's a moot point, because they're both girls. You'll see."
Lucy rolls her eyes playfully and Tim smiles as he pulls her up for a kiss.
"We've got this, Luce. No matter what,we'vegot this. We'll face it together, just like we've faced everything that's come before before this."
Lucy nods, and though Tim can see that she'stryingto appear strong, there are still tears in her eyes as he gathers her close to his chest.
He runs his fingers through her hair and murmurs comforting words to her, but despite the fact that he's trying to appear strong, he's terrified, too.
Heneedshis baby girls.
And he doesn't know what he'll do if he loses one of them.
Notes:
Sorry I meant to have this out sooner. It's been a hell of a day! I wish I had a stress reliever like Tim Bradford. If only we could bottle him up and sell him...
As always, kudos and comments make me smile! Each comment is like a shot of dopamine.
Chapter 30
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Lots of talk of fetal growth restriction.
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy wakes upstressed,and despite the multiple orgasms Tim gives her in the shower, she's not able to calm herself before it's time.
"Are you ready for today, Officer Chen?"
Tim shoots Grey a glare as Lucyimmediatelytenses at his words.
Lucy elbows Tim in the side and rolls her eyes at her overprotective boyfriend.
(It'snice,calling him her boyfriend again).
"Yes, sir," she murmurs softly, smiling at Grey. She's nervous, yes, but this is theleaststressful part of her day. She knows the material and as long as the oral portion of the exam goes better than the Detective's Exam, she's going to be okay. "I'm excited for this opportunity."
Grey nods and cocks his head to the side, motioning toward the room Lucy knows has been set aside for the written portion of the exam. She and three other officers are taking it today, though Tim had confided in her that one of the officers, Officer Wood, is an idiot and he doesn't expect him to pass.
"Good luck, Luce," Tim murmurs, pulling her into his arms despite the various officers milling around the station. Lucy would normally care but right now sheneedsthis, this one final hug from Tim and his reassuring words in her ear. "You've got this, babe. March in there with your head held high and show them what a badass you are."
Lucy nearly chokes on a laugh, smiling as she pulls away.
Her stomach is still tight with anxiety and her throat nearly closed, but somehow, Tim always makes it just a little bit better.
"Love you," she murmurs.
Tim stares at her with naked fondness in his eyes, his hand connected to her arm for as long as possible as she begins to slowly pull away.
"Love you, too. I'll be back at noon to pick you up."
Lucy nods, wincing at the reminder of herothertests coming up today, and then turns and walks into the room for her first exam.
The written portion iseasy.
Almosttooeasy.
Lucy glares at her paper suspiciously for a long moment before sighing and standing. She walks it to the front, turns it in to the bored officer who is playing Candy Crush on his phone, and then exits the room, sucking in a deep, steadying breath as soon as she's free.
"Feel good about the test?"
She startles for a moment at the sound of Angela's voice, and then shrugs as she eyes the officer leaning casually up against the wall outside of the room.
Tim.
This hasTimwritten all over it.
"I don't need to be babysat," she grumbles, but she accepts the coffee Angela holds out regardless.
Angela laughs.
"I won't insult your intelligence by trying to pretend he didn't send me here to wait for you,butI will say that it's multipurpose, really. I needed a break from the case Nyla and I are working on. It hits a little too close to home, you know?"
Lucy is dying to ask for details, but she knows it's not her place.
She's not adetective,and she never will be.
(She still feels bitter about it sometimes, and today is a hard day. She makes a mental note to bring it up in therapy later in the week, though, because she and Tim already have enough on their plates without her being angryagain.)
"Yeah," she murmurs instead, throwing Angela a small smile as she sips at the chai tea latte she knows Tim told Angela to buy for her. "I get it."
Angela hums and falls into step beside her as she heads toward the break room.
"You have two hours until your next session, right?"
Lucy nods absentmindedly.
The oral portion.
God,she'snervousabout the oral portion.
"Good. You need a break. Let's go shopping, mama!"
Lucy expects Angela to haul her to one of her favorite clothing stores (retail therapy is good for the soul, after all) so she'ssurprisedwhen they stop outside of a little boutique that carriesbaby clothes.
She pauses for a moment outside, her hands tightening around her coffee cup.
She doesn't know how many babies she's going to need to buy for, is the thing.
She's been avoiding baby shopping for that very reason.
"Tim said you don't have anything for the baby yet," Angela murmurs, a gentle hand on her back as she guides her inside. Lucy nods, clocking her singular use ofbabyas she allows herself to be manhandled into the store. She's thankful that Tim hadn't told Angela all of the details yet, about their twins and the slow growth of their second baby.
"No, not yet," she agrees, her eyes slowly taking in the rows upon rows of baby clothes.
Onesies, dresses, itty bitty socks, hats, impossibly small pants, and shirts.
"You're about 18 weeks, right?"
Lucy nods, reaching out to touch a set of plain onesies, each in a different color of the rainbow.
They're impossiblysoft,and Lucy makes a surprised little noise as she imagines holding her babies in these, their soft skin and the soft material against her chest, and she makes a vulnerable little noise as she pulls the set off of the rack and holds it close to her heart.
Angela pauses, her smile slipping a little when she notices how red and wet Lucy's eyes are.
Lucy knows she won't ask, but she finds that she wants to tell her friend, anyway.
"We're having twins," she murmurs, and though she can see the immediatejoyin Angela's eyes, she also sees the hesitation, because Angela is a detective, after all, and she knowssomethingmust be wrong for her to be this upset about it.
Lucy clears her throat and continues, tracing the outline of the tiny onesies with her finger as she speaks. "The last time we were at the doctor, she said… she said one baby was too small. We have more tests today to see what's going on."
"Oh, Lucy."
Angela's voice is soft, her embrace even softer as she reaches out to pull Lucy into a hug. Lucy sniffles and lets her friend hold her, the little rainbow onesies clutched between their bodies.
"If those babies are anything like you and Tim, they'reresilient,"she murmurs. "Their momma survived a deranged serial killer and their daddy's been shot five times. They'resurvivors,just like you guys."
Lucy sniffles and nods as she slowly pulls back from Angela's embrace.
"That's… um. That's partially why we haven't bought anything yet. We don't know how many babies we're shopping for. We don't know what we need yet."
"You're shopping fortwobabies," Angela says, nodding with absolute surety as she reaches out and grabs a second packet of the rainbow colored onesies. She grabs the set in Lucy's hand and walks them to the register, pays for them, and then hands them back to a speechless Lucy. "And when they're born, you can tell them that their godmother Angela bought them their first clothes."
Lucy chuckles and holds the impossibly tiny garments against her belly.
"Okay," she whispers as she rubs the material between her thumb and forefinger.
Angela wraps her arm around her waist and leans her head on her shoulder, and Lucy sighs as she holds the onesies close.
"How did it go today?"
Lucy smiles at Tim as she climbs into the truck, her mind more on the bag of baby clothes she'd bought and less on the tests she'd taken.
"It was fine," she murmurs, and she honestly believes itwas.The oral portion hadn't been very difficult, either, which she mostly attributed toPrimmnot being on the panel. She'd been able to clearly and concisely answer each question, as well as pepper in some of her own experiences and wisdom. Her time as an acting TO to Celina had helped, and she was able to use the situation at the hospital to show off her skills.
"Just fine?" Tim asks, raising an eyebrow.
Lucy hums and shrugs. "I think it went as well as it could have. It seemed almost too easy, you know? So… we'll see."
Tim nods and reaches for her hand and she lets him hold it for a long moment as they drive slowly down the road toward the hospital where their appointments are. Eventually, though, her excitement wins out and she takes her hand back, digging into the boutique bag that she'd brought with her.
"Look what Angela and I found," she murmurs.
Tim glances over while they're at a stoplight and Lucy sees his eyes light up when he registers what she's holding. She has the onesies draped over her tiny baby bump, caressing them so that they take the shape of her stomach.
Tim grins widely, his eyes sparkling as he reaches out to touch the cloth.
He has wanted to go shopping a couple of times, but both times, Lucy had saidlet's wait.
"What changed your mind?" he asks, his voice high and filled with awe.
Lucy shrugs.
"Angela kind of made me buy them. But… it feels good, you know? Having something for them."
"Yeah," Tim murmurs, reaching for her hand again and bringing her knuckles to his lips. He kisses each one and then drops their clasped hands to her belly when the light turns green.
They smile the rest of the way there, the anxiety not coming back full force until they're being called back and Lucy is given a gown to change into. She kisses Tim goodbye tearfully as she's taken for the MRI, and then, afterward, refuses to let his hand go while they wait for the doctor.
"It's gonna be okay," Tim murmurs, and Lucy nods tearfully as they wait in the oppressively silent room for their doctor.
Eventually there's a knock on the door and a young man pops his head in, a smile stretching his lips as he waves.
"Good afternoon! I'm Dr. Lake, fetal medicine specialist. You must be Tim Bradford and Lucy Chen?"
Tim offers his hand and introduces himself, but Lucy doesn't bother. She only has one good hand right now, the sling still restricting her movements, and she refuses to let go of Tim's hand to greet their doctor.
"According to your chart, you're here for concerns regarding selective fetal growth restriction, correct?"
"Yes," Tim answers, nodding. "Dr. Kovac noted a discrepancy between the size of the twins, and said it was great enough that she was concerned. She referred us to you."
Dr. Lake nods as he clicks through the notes in the computer.
"I see, I see. Yes, Dr. Kovac recorded Baby A as being 3.35 inches long and Baby B as 2.76 inches head to rump at your 14 week appointment. We'll need to do new measurements as you're now 18 weeks along. At your previous appointment, Baby Bwasmeasuring below the 10th percentile, but there wasn'tquitea 25% difference in their weight, which is required for a diagnosis of fetal growth restriction. We'll re-run all the numbers today as I do your ultrasound, and then look at your MRI results before we come up with a plan of action. Sound good?"
Lucy and Tim both nod. Lucy squeezes Tim's hand more tightly as he helps her raise her shirt, and they both wince as the cool gel is squirted onto her stomach before the wand is pressed against her lower abdomen.
Dr. Lake keeps up a continuous stream of conversation as he works, which Lucy is thankful for.
"All right, Lucy. 18 weeks means that the twins should be measuring right around five and a half inches each. A little bit smaller isn't any cause for concern with twin pregnancies, as they can grow a little slower than a singleton. Anything above five inches keeps them above the 50th percentile. Oh! Here we go. Here's Baby A…"
Dr. Lake trails off, his lips still moving as he takes measurements of the fetus from head to rump. Lucy watches, her eyes wet with tears, as her little baby bounces around on screen, little feet kicking out and arms waving.
It'samazing,really, that her teeny tiny baby is already moving around in there and she can'tfeel them.
"Baby A is 5.34 inches long, right on track," Dr. Lake says, winking at them as he turns the screen to begin pointing things out. "Head circumference is on track, femur length perfect. Estimated to weigh about 239 grams, which is right at the 75th percentile. Baby A is healthy as can be."
Lucy nods and swallows hard.
She's never beentrulyconcerned about Baby A.
"And Baby B?" Tim asks, his voice soft and low.
Lucy turns to him and feels her heart constrict when she sees the way his eyes are red-rimmed, his beautiful blue eyes swimming in emotion.
Dr. Lake hums and begins moving the wand and Lucy watches, entranced as the image on the screen begins to flicker and change.
"Oh!" Dr. Lake says, smiling as he points to the screen. "Interesting to note but maybe not diagnostically relevant, but you have Monochorionic-diamniotic twins, Lucy. That means that both babies share the same placenta, but they each have their one amniotic sac. Likely identical."
"Can you tell if they're girls?" Lucy asks, glancing at Tim as she asks. He smiles at her and squeezes her hand more tightly, bringing their clasped fingers up to kiss her knuckles as they wait.
"I should be able to. Would you like to know now?"
Lucy gasps, her lips parting as Tim nods immediately.
"We do, but…" She trails off, squeezing Tim's hand to get his attention. "Can we do a gender reveal?" she asks, though she knows that Tim won't be nearly as excited about it as she is. "The fact that I'm pregnant is a well known secret at the station, but… we could use the barbecue as a gender reveal?"
Tim smiles and kisses her hand again, his eyes shining with love. "Of course, baby. Anything you want. It doesn't matter; I already know they're girls."
Lucy scoffs and they both laugh softly as they turn back toward Dr. Lake.
"I can put the information in an envelope for you to give to a friend," he tells them, winking.
"Thank you," Lucy murmurs.
The excitement of knowing their baby's sex wears off as Dr. Lake locates Baby B and begins to measure, and suddenly the crushing anxiety is back, making it hard to breathe as they wait.
"Well, Baby Bismeasuring smaller than Baby A," Dr. Lake begins, and Lucy feels her heart fall to her stomach, any hope she'd had of Baby B catching up to Baby A before their appointmentcrushed.
"How small?" Tim asks.
Dr. Lake hums as he finishes measuring.
Lucy's eyes are glued to her second baby, to the little kicks and movements that seem exactly like the first baby's.
How can one baby be sick, and the other healthy?
How is itfair?
"Baby B is measuring 3.72 inches long," Dr. Lake finally says, frowning as he types numbers into the computer. "Head circumference and femur length are in proportion to height, but small for gestational age. Weight is estimated at 192 grams, which is right at the 10th percentile."
Lucy closes her eyes, tears beginning to trail down her cheeks as Dr. Lake types into the computer.
"The babies are sharing a single placenta," he continues, the wand digging into Lucy's belly as he continues to take measurements. "Fetal growth restriction is common in cases of Monochorionic twins. Oftentimes one baby has more than an equal share of the placenta, which causes uneven growth."
Tim clears his throat, his words watery as he drops his forehead against his and Lucy's clasped hands.
"What are… what are the baby's odds? Does this mean that we'll lose Baby B?"
Dr. Lake shakes his head, finishing up the ultrasound and cleaning Lucy's belly as he scoots his chair closer to the bed.
"No, not necessarily. Based on the MRI results, there are no abnormal connections between the blood vessels of the twins, which is good. That means no surgery. But thereisan uneven sharing of the placenta. All that means is that Baby B will grow more slowly, and will likely be underweight at birth. If they keep growing at this rate and you make it full term, Baby A will weigh an estimated 8 pounds, 6 ounces, and Baby B will weigh around 6 pounds."
Oh.
"Oh!" Lucy murmurs, perking up.
Six pounds isn't bad!
Jack had only been seven pounds, once ounce when he was born!
"But,"Dr. Lake continues. "Most cases of Monochorionic twins don't go full term. We consider 34 to 36 weeks above average in these cases, which would put the babies around 5.4 and 3.9 pounds respectively."
Oh.
Lucy breathes in deeply through her nose as she closes her eyes.
"We'll monitor you and babies closely throughout your pregnancy," he continues, smiling despite the fact that both Lucy and Tim are crying silently. "Dr. Kovac and I will work together and see you every few weeks until you hit your third trimester, and then we'll see you weekly. I'm going to go ahead and recommend light duty which means no more working, mama, and I'm going to increase your caloric intake and change your prenatal vitamins up a little bit to try and grow those babies. We're going to try and get you as close to full term as we can, Lucy, so that we can deliver twohealthybabies when the time comes."
Lucy nods, but despite the million and one questions running around in her head, she can't make herself speak.
Tim takes over for her, thank goodness, thanking the doctor and asking for his information so that they can forward their questions as they think of them. He also accepts the envelope with the sex of their babies, and then helps Lucy sit up on the edge of the bed once Dr. Lake leaves to give them a moment.
He kisses her softly and then drops his forehead to hers, meeting her watery gaze with his own.
"Tim…" she whispers, her voice breaking.
"I know," he murmurs, one hand on her belly and the other on her back, holding her close to him. "I know, Luce."
Lucy stares into Tim's deep, beautiful blue eyes for a long moment and then remembers the onesies still sitting innocently in the truck, and it's the thought that one of their babies is going to befartoo small to wear them that pushes her over the edge.
Shesobs.
Tim holds her tightly his tears mixing with her own as they cry in the silence of the hospital room.
Notes:
LOTS to unpack in this chapter! Lots of medical stuff, if I got anything wrong, feel free to let me know! Research a nurse sister only go so far!
Let me know what you think! Your comments make me smile!
Chapter 31
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
They're both silent on the way home.
Lucy stares out the window while Tim sends a message to Grey requesting the rest of the day off, and after that, Timwantsto talk but he doesn't know how to start the conversation.
So instead he drives silently, guiding his truck through the streets that lead to Lucy's apartment as he thinks, his stomach churning with the possibilities. He glances at Lucy every chance he gets, but she's not looking at him — instead, she's staring at the bag of baby clothing between them, her beautiful brown eyes wet and wide as her fingers trace the bright colors sticking out of the top of the bag.
Tim knows what she's thinking, because heknows her.
One of their babies won't be able to wear the adorable little onesies for several months.
Three pounds, nine ounces.
He knows it's just an estimate, of course, and that if Lucy can go longer than 36 weeks, their baby will be bigger.
But the number — so astonishinglysmall— scares him anyway.
What if shecan'tcarry the pregnancy to 36 weeks?
Will their baby besmallerthan three pounds?
He grips the steering wheel tighter as he imagines a baby so small they can fit in the palm of his hand, and the rest of the drive is spent panicking inside at the thought that he's going to be responsible for taking care of someone so small, sofragile.
"I'm tired," Lucy murmurs once he's parked the truck. Her small, soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he swallows thickly as he nods.
"You should take a nap when we get inside," he whispers, clearing his throat as he opens his door. He rounds to Lucy's side quickly and helps her out, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing his lips to her temple as he guides them inside.
He purposely leaves the bag of baby clothes still sitting on the bench of his truck.
Lucy doesn't even glance at them or attempt to bring them inside.
Celina isn't home, thankfully, when Tim uses Lucy's key to unlock the apartment door. He drops their things on the island and guides Lucy straight into her room, his hands busy as he helps her change into one of his large t-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. He pulls her into his arms after she's changed and drops his forehead to hers, one hand settling on her belly as he breathes slowly.
He wants to talk to Lucy about their appointment, but he knows that shedoesn'twant to talk.
She's always so strong, so resilient.
But he knows, at least right now, that she can't take much more.
She doesn't…
Tim pauses and bites the inside of his cheek as he remembers his therapist's words.
She doesn't have the mental space forhisworries right now, and he doesn't begrudge her that.
She'salwaystrying to make space for everyone else, to helpthem,and now it's his turn to help her.
"Rest," he murmurs, kissing her forehead as he pulls back. "Take a nap, and afterward, we can order dinner in."
Lucy nods, stands on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Tim's lips, and then crawls under the blankets, her tired eyes closing the second her head hits the pillow.
Tim watches her for a long moment and then steps out of the room, turning the lights off and closing the door softly behind himself before reaching for his phone, a half baked idea in his brain giving him the perfect distraction from his worries.
He dials Angela as he walks into the kitchen, searching through Lucy's drawers until he finds the pad of paper and pen she keeps for leaving notes.
She'd left him alotof notes when he'd basically been living here, silly little sentences and poems whenever she had to leave before him or when he would be home late.
He'd saved every single one.
"Hey, Tim."
Tim deflates a little at the sound of Angela's voice, the only voice he's really heard since the doctor's office.
"Hey, Ang."
"How did the appointment go?"
Tim pauses with the pen hovering over the paper as he considers how he should respond.
Honestly, it hadn'tallbeen bad news.
It's just that the bad parts had hit a hundred times harder than they'd expected.
"Not good," he murmurs, shaking his head. "But not terrible, either. I can tell you more later, but one of the babies was diagnosed with fetal growth restriction and Lucy has been put on … not bed rest, exactly, but Dr. Lake told her she can't work in the field. He was even hesitant about desk work, but I know Lucy needssomethingto do or she'll go crazy, so we're going to talk to Grey."
Angela laughs on the other end of the phone as Tim begins scribbling on the notepad.
"She will, yeah. If she gets put on bed rest, though, I promise Nyla and I will bring her all of our case files and she can help us solve mysteries from bed."
Tim chuckles. "She'd love that, Ang."
"Yeah, I bet she would. Anyway, why are you calling? Is there something I can do for you and Lucy?"
"Kind of," Tim murmurs, finishing his note and signing it with his name and a heart. "One of the babies is likely going to be pretty small when they're born. Dr. Lake estimated 3 pounds, 9 ounces if Lucy can make it to 36 weeks."
"Oh, wow, and I thought Jack was small…"
"Yeah. So, the baby clothes you and Luce bought today won't fit the baby. And Lucy was staring at them the whole way back, crying. I know it's bothering her, so I wanted to know… what store did you guys go to? And do they have… you know, smaller sizes?"
Angela makes a soft cooing noise on the other end of the phone and Tim rolls his eyes.
"Just answer the question, Ang.God."
"Yes, Tim, they have preemie sizes. We went to Jellybeans Boutique, it's close to the station."
"Thanks," Tim murmurs. He says his goodbyes and hangs up the phone before ripping the paper off of the pad and tiptoeing into Lucy's room to set it on the table next to her pillow. He leans down to kiss her hair gently before he steps back and out of the room, taking a deep, steadying breath before he grabs his keys and wallet and heads back out to the truck.
The preemie clothes are even smaller than he'd imagined.
He stands in the middle of the aisle, the same bright, rainbow colored onesies laid out over his palm, and has to use every relaxation technique that his therapist has taught him becauseholy shithe cannot be responsible for a life thissmall.
He'd almost panicked when he'd thought of being responsible for a baby the size Jack had been when he was born, butthis…
He's just about worked himself into a proper panic when a petite, peppy sales associate pops up at his elbow.
"Hello! My name is Penny. How can I help you?"
Tim's first instinct is to tell her he doesn't need help, thank you very much, and to leave him alone.
But…
Well, hedoesneed help.
He wants to do this right.
He wants to do something for Lucy.
She'd beenso excitedabout those baby clothes.
"I…"
He pauses and turns to face the woman — girl, really, she barely looks a day over sixteen — and blows out a breath as he runs his free hand through his hair.
Penny saves him from himself, eyeing the preemie clothes in his hand and extrapolating.
"How big is your baby? I can help you find the right size!" she chirps.
"Uh, we don't… we don't know just yet," he says, shrugging. "My girlfriend is pregnant with twins, and… and one of them is going to be small, the doctor said. Like 3 pounds."
"Well," Penny says, smiling as she begins to rifle through the display of rainbow onesies. "We carry lots of different sizes, and we're one of the only boutiques in all of Los Angeles thatdoes.Most don't carry sizes smaller than preemie in store. You have to order online, which issomuch less fun. So you're in luck! We have micro preemie, teeny, preemie, and newborn."
Tim sucks in a breath through his nose, his eyes closing as he considers the new revelation that there are baby clothessmallerthan the ones currently sitting on his palm.
"Um," he says, but Penny doesn't let him flounder for long.
"Micro preemie is for babies between 1 and 3 pounds, Teeny is for 2-4 pounds, and Preemie is for 3-5 pounds. I'd suggest going with Teeny, since it would cover your baby if they're a little smaller than predicted or even if they're a little bit bigger."
Tim nods and hands her the preemie onesies he'd picked out, tears springing to his eyes when she replaces them with evensmallerones.
"These ones have side clasps, which makes things in the NICUmucheasier. There are a lot of wires and stuff for babies that small, and the side clasps allow the doctors to have easy access if needed. I recommend…"
Penny continues talking but Tim eventually tunes her out, his sole focus on the tiny bits of fabric in his palm.
Is his baby really going to bethissmall?
How can a baby this small evensurvive?
(How can a babysmaller than thissurvive? The Micro Preemie clothes are no bigger than his palm, though he's trying not to focus on that).
"... are you okay, sir?"
Tim shakes his head to clear his thoughts and nods, his fingers tightening around the new onesies in his palm.
"Sorry," he whispers, clearing his throat as he returns to the present. "This is perfect, I'll… I'll take these."
Penny nods, though she still looks a little concerned as she leads Tim to the front of the store to check out.
He goes through the motions on auto-pilot, swiping his card, signing the receipt, and taking the bag she hands him.
He barely makes it outside of the store before he's fumbling for his phone, firing off a text to his therapist that he needs an emergency session.
He can't unload all of this on Lucy, though he knows that theydoneed to talk eventually.
Right now, though, he needs someone he can break down to, who he can unload all of his worries and guilt and fear onto, and it's not fair to ask Lucy to be that person.
He wants to be in a better headspace before they talk.
Dr. Keller responds almost immediately.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Keller (Therapist)
I can see you today at 4pm. Will that work for you?
Tim sends back a thumbs up emoji and climbs into his truck, reaching for the bag of clothes Lucy had bought earlier. He swaps out one of the sets of rainbow onesies for the new ones, marveling at the difference in size, and then carefully folds and puts the other newborn size set into the bag he'd just gotten to store for later.
Lucy is awake when he gets home.
She's sipping a mug of tea with the note he'd left beside her bed on the counter, and he smiles as he enters, glad that she'd seen his message right away and hadn't worried about where he was.
"Hey."
Lucy glances up to meet his gaze, and though she still looks tired, she doesn't look ashauntedas before.
"Hey, babe."
Tim walks toward her, gift in one hand and her new prenatal prescription in the other. He drops both on the counter, though, so that he can pull her into a hug. He holds her tightly, one hand cupping the back of her head as he presses his lips to her hair and breathes her in.
"Did you sleep well?"
Lucy nods, offering him a small smile.
"Yes. Thank you."
Tim hums as he brushes his thumb along her cheek, noting the bags beneath her eyes and wondering if maybe being restricted to a desk will begoodfor her.
She needs to rest, for her sake and the sake of the babies.
"What's this?"
Tim follows Lucy's line of sight to the gift he'd brought her, no longer in the bag from the boutique but instead in a little gift box he'd found at the pharmacy while picking up her vitamins. It has a sparkly silver bow on top, and Lucy's already tugging at it before he can explain.
"I wanted… um, I wanted to have the right sizes," he whispers, watching her carefully as she lays out the onesies side by side on the counter, newborn and teeny, one half the size of the other. "So that we can dress our baby girls the same."
Lucy fingers the teeny onesies, the side clasps, and then turns to Tim with tears in her eyes.
"Oh, shit, I didn't mean to make youcry,babe," he murmurs, but Lucy just laughs as she pulls both sets of onesies to her chest. She hugs them close, her lips turned up in a smile, and Tim relaxes a little as he reaches into the box and pulls out the other purchase he'd made at the pharmacy.
Sets of bows.
Two of them, in every color imaginable.
"Pretty certain we're having girls, huh, Bradford?" she teases, and he shrugs as he fingers the lace of the bows.
"Our girls," he says, because he'scertain.
Heknows,deep in his bones.
His girls.
Lucy leans up and kisses him, her lips dry and soft on his, and Tim sighs as he slides one hand around her back to hold her close as he deepens the kiss for a moment.
"You like it, then?" he asks when he pulls back.
Lucy nods.
"I do. Iloveit, Tim, thank you. I was… on the way home, I was thinking about how I couldn't dress our girls to match like I wanted to because they wouldn't fit, but you… you went and fixed it, effortlessly, like you always do."
Tim hums as he remembers the text he'd sent to his therapist.
"Not effortlessly," he murmurs, shaking his head as he helps Lucy take the tiny onesies off of their hangers. She folds them carefully, making little stacks of matching colors. "I'm… I'm having a hard time, Luce. I messaged my therapist. I have an emergency appointment tonight, to… to process. It's soon, actually. I'll have to leave here pretty quickly."
Lucy reaches out to take Tim's hand in her own, stopping his movements as he unfolds and refolds the tiny clothes.
"I'm proud of you," she whispers, and though she's told him several times how proud of him she is that he's willingly seeking our therapy, it still takes him by surprise. "You've been so strong for me, Tim, and… and I can't thank you enough for that because sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall apart. But I'm glad you have someone to talk to, too."
Tim nods, sighing as he leans into Lucy's side.
"Do you need a session with your therapist?" he asks. He doesn't know how often Lucy sees her therapist anymore, but he knows she still has one.
"We have couples therapy Thursday," she says, shaking her head. "I'll be okay until then, as long aswecan talk tonight or … or even tomorrow, depending on how you feel after therapy tonight. But for now, you should shower and get ready for your session. I'll start looking through takeout menus and figure out what the girls want for dinner."
Tim grins when she saysthe girls,because as much ashebelieves, he knows she's more skeptic.
"Love you," he whispers, pressing his lips to hers in a quick, chaste kiss.
Lucy smiles and kisses him back before reaching for her mug of tea, holding it close as Tim walks into the bathroom to get ready.
Notes:
I said this on Twitter but I know not everyone follows me on there, but as I'm working on the outline for this fic, I'm finding that it has the potential to be 50-60 chapters if I really focus on the day-to-day and therapy of Chenford. And, of course, there's still a LITTLE (more than a little...) bit of angst and drama to come. NO relationship drama, though, beyond regular couple stuff!
As always, comments and kudos make me smile! I love reading each thought!
Chapter 32
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy wakes slowly, her eyes fluttering open to the bright morning sun.
Two arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her body back against a strong line of warmth, and despite everything, despite the pregnancy complications and the looming desk duty and the unpacked house that needs to be completely packed within the next three weeks, she smiles.
"Good morning," Tim murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.
Lucy sighs and melts back into him.
For weeks,monthseven, she's woken up alone, Tim's side of the bed cold and empty.
She knows they have more work to do on their relationship, but she's happy they're in a place where she can wake up in his arms every morning again. She'd gotten used to it, had taken it for granted, and once it was gone, oncehewas gone, she'd realized how much she'd come to love sleeping with someone else.
"Morning," she whispers, her eyes fluttering closed as she turns in his arms, grunting with exertion as her belly gets in the way. Tim chuckles, one of his hands moving between them to caress the taut skin.
"Hey, babies," he murmurs, and Lucy nearly chokes on a sob when Tim shuffles down the bed and presses his lips over her belly button, his hand still caressing her warm skin. "I'm your daddy. I'm so excited to meet you."
Lucy blinks back tears as Tim kisses her belly all over, his lips warm and wet. It's doing things to her, both to her heart and her body, and by the time he kisses his way up to her lips, she's breathing harshly.
Seeing Tim be a good daddy ishot.
He raises an eyebrow when he sees her cheeks flushed and feels the warmth between her legs as she wraps one around his waist, bringing his boxer clad groin against her own.
"Yeah?"
She nods, lurching up to capture his lips in a fiery kiss as he drops one hand on the mattress by her head, repositioning until he's settled comfortably between the vee of her thighs.
"We don't really have time," he murmurs, but he doesn't stop kissing her as she reaches and shoves his boxer briefs down his thighs, freeing his rapidly hardening length from the cotton confines.
"This won't take long," she promises.
Tim chuckles and Lucy's blush deepens. He's well versed in her current libido at this point, the hormones not only making her horny but also incrediblyeasy.He kisses down her neck as he slides one hand under the large t-shirt she's wearing, pushing it out of the way so he can kiss his way across her sternum.
"We can't be late, we have to talk to Grey this morning—"
She cuts Tim off by rocking her hips against him. He groans, dropping his head to her chest as Lucy quickly shoves her own panties out of the way.
"Donottalk about Sergeant Grey when you're about to get me off," she grunts.
Tim snorts against her chest as he sucks one of her pert, brown nipples into his mouth.
They can be quick, she's sure of it.
They won't bethatlate.
"We areverylate."
Tim throws Lucy alookas they walk into the station side by side, Lucy still in plain clothes because there's no point in wearing a uniform that barely fits if she's going to be on desk duty for the foreseeable future. Tim had quickly changed while she'd scoped out the snack situation in the break room, and they'd met back up outside of Grey's office with only minutes to spare.
"And whose fault is that?"
Lucy bumps her shoulder into his, smiling as she remembers the way Tim had very easily persuaded her to stay in bed just alittlebit longer.
"Well, it started out as my fault, butsomeonejust had to go for seconds. We only have a few minutes before roll call."
Tim smirks as he reaches a hand up to knock on Grey's glass office door.
"This won't take long," he promises, pulling the door open when Grey motions for them to come in. "Good morning, sir."
Grey looks up from the case files on his desk.
"Good morning Sergeant, Officer," he greets, leaning back in his chair as Tim steps inside and holds the door for Lucy. She walks in beside him, eyeing Grey carefully as he immediately clocks her lack of uniform. She winces, and then immediately begins to blurt everything out because she's always been a talker when she's nervous.
"I need to be on desk duty starting immediately," she says, sighing as she plays with one of her curls. "Or early maternity leave. We saw the specialist yesterday and he said I can't be in the field anymore for the sake of the babies, and—"
Tim cuts her off with a gentle hand on her back. He rubs up and down her spine, and she takes a deep breath in as he smoothly takes over her rambling.
"We wanted to talk about options, sir," he murmurs. "I know I've told you some of what's going on but not everything. Lucy is pregnant with twins, and one of the babies isn't growing like they should. Dr. Lake put her on light duty, which means…"
Grey sighs as he leans his elbows on the desk, clasping his hands together as he eyes them.
"Desk duty," he agrees, nodding. "While we hate to lose you on the streets, Officer Chen, your health and the health of the babies is top priority. Congratulations, by the way, on the twins."
Lucy smiles brightly and drops her hand to her stomach.
She's showing more now, enough that anyone who looks closely enough willknow.
They still haven't told anyone, though she has a strong suspicion the pregnancy is a lot like their relationship — the station's worst kept secret.
"Thank you, sir," she says. "I hate to do this with little to no warning, and Iknowit's going to mess things up with me becoming a TO. I won't be able to finish my shadowing until I come back from maternity leave, but… I should still be ready to go before the next group's six month exam, so…"
She trails off, biting her lip as she thinks about the very real possibility that Grey will decide she's just not worth the effort.
He needs training officersnow.
That had been the whole point of the expedited testing, after all.
By the time she's able to be back in the field… well, at that point, she might as well have just waited for the next official exam.
"We can work around that," Grey says, shaking his head as he stands. "Yes, it throws a kink in our plans, but the health of your babies is more important. You can start light desk duty today, Officer Chen. I'll let Detectives Lopez and Harper know you're available if they need you, as well. We'll keep you busy."
Lucy wants to lurch forward and hug Grey, but she just barely manages to hold herself back. She grins, her brown eyes sparkling as she caresses her little bump.
"Thank you, sir."
He smiles and pats her on the shoulder as he walks toward the door, opening it and motioning for them to walk through.
"Of course, Officer. Now, we all need to get to roll call before we're late. Officer Chen, you'll still sit in each day to keep up to date on the goings on of the station. Afterward, I'll set you up with a desk and maybe some tip lines to get your day started."
Lucy grimaces at the thought oftip lines.
"Lovely," she murmurs, low enough for only Tim to hear.
He chuckles and presses his hand gently to the small of her back, the touch light and short as they walk into the class-walled roll call room. He peels off from her, though, to sit with the other TOs, and Lucy takes her usual seat, ignoring thelooksshe gets for still being in plain clothes.
"Good morning, officers," Grey greets the room, dropping the pile of case files on the desk as he speaks. "We have a lot of open cases this morning from night shift, so listen up. Before I begin, however, Officer Chen is going to temporarily be desk bound due to… medical reasons, so if you have any work for her to help keep her busy, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Now…"
Lucy props her head on her hand and sips her coffee as Grey continues to talk, his voice fading into the background as she tries not to dwell on the fact that she's out of the field for rest of her pregnancy.
It's going to be alongseveral months.
Tim checks in on her at lunch, which she's grateful for.
"Save me," she moans, pushing her rolling chair away from the desk and spinning in a dramatic circle. He chuckles as he takes her hand, hauling her out of her desk chair in one smooth motion that'smuchmore graceful than anything she's managed on her own today. It's her first time standing since she went pee an hour ago, and she takes a moment to regain her balance, stretching to work out the kinks in her back.
She feelshugeand uncomfortable, though she knows it's only going to get much worse. She's only recently started showing, her bump still mostly hidden by loose, flowy clothing.
"I'm a whale," she grunts.
Tim chuckles as he smiles down at her, his expression soft —toosoft, considering they're still in the station and surrounded by cops.
"Want to get lunch with me?"
Lucy's stomach chooses that moment to grumble loudly, answering Tim's question for her.
"Can we get Thai?" she asks, pressing one hand to her aching back as they walk toward the front doors together. "I've been craving a good pad thai forhours."
Tim hums as he nods, turning her in the direction of his truck as they exit the front doors.
"Of course," he says, nodding.
Lucy smiles to herself as she climbs into the passenger side of the truck.
She basically gets whatever she wants these days, Tim always eager to feed her and the babies whatever she's craving.
"I need to stop by the realtor's office on the way," he says, turning to smile at her as he guides the truck out of the station parking lot. "I need to sign some final paperwork for Hollie."
"That's fine," Lucy murmurs, watching Tim as he drives one handed through the streets of LA. His other hand is on her leg, his thumb caressing her inner thigh in a way that makes her shiver. "When is the closing date again?"
Tim hums as he thinks. "June 11th. You have 19 more days until you're a homeowner."
"Untilwe'rehomeowners," Lucy corrects him.
Tim smiles at her but doesn't respond, and she sighs.
She'll make him talk about it eventually.
In fact, she's not sure why he hasn't put his house up for sale yet.
He's spent every single night since they decided to be together again at her place, and she'd thought that they'd continue that way — that he'd continue to stay with her.
That he'dmove inwith her.
Maybe he's waiting for her to explicitly tell him, though, and she bites her lip as she considers how she could go about that.
"We should start planning the barbecue," Tim murmurs eventually, breaking the silence. Lucy turns to him and smiles at the reminder.
"It's going to be less of a pregnancy reveal and more of a moving-in party at this point," she says, because though they haven'ttoldpeople, they're assuming they justknowlike they did about their relationship. "I gave Angela the envelope today. I gave her full creative license on the gender reveal."
Tim groans, though Lucy knows he's just as excited as she is to find out if they're having the girls he's dreamed of or not.
"Send a message to everyone," Tim suggests, his hand squeezing her thigh before he returns it to the wheel. "You move in June 11th, so… maybe that weekend? It'll give us Tuesday through Friday to get everything moved in and organized, and then we could do it Saturday, maybe?"
Lucy nods, already navigating to her calendar to see the date.
"Saturday the 15th," she murmurs, opening a new text and beginning to type names.
Angela and Wes, Nyla and James, Nolan and Bailey, Aaron, Celina, the Greys…
Ah, fuck it.
She's never going to remember everyone. This is a good start.
To: Angela Lopez-Evers, Wesley Evers, and 7 more
From: Lucy CheN
BBQ at the new house June 15th 6pm! Everyone bring a side dish and spread the word.
She sends a second message with the address, smiling down at her phone in happiness as response messages begin to flood in.
To: Lucy Chen
From: John Nolan
This is so exciting, Lucy! Bailey and I will be there! We'll bring my famous macaroni. Dairy free, just for you.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Nyla Harper
If James and I can find someone to pawn the girls off on, we'll be there.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Sergeant Grey
Luna is out of town that weekend, but I'll be there.
Sheheartreacts every message, but frowns in confusion when she reads the last one.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Angela Lopez-Evers
Donotlet it slip, people. Ask Smitty the things I threatened him with if he didn't keep his mouth shut.
Huh?
She shows the message to Tim as he pulls in the realtor's parking lot, but he just shrugs.
"She probably sent it to the wrong chat. Don't worry, babe."
Lucy reacts with a?but doesn't send a response.
Tim's probably right, of course.
Besides, she has bigger things to worry about right now, like signing these papers so she has a house tohavethe barbecue at!
Notes:
What is Angela up to?
Comments and kudos make me happy!
Chapter 33
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"Whatare you doing."
It's a statement more than a question, and Tim has to fight the smile that wants to raise his lips when Lucy pauses, hands midair and full of books. Her eyes are wide, the epitome ofdeer in the headlights,and it's both endearing andannoyingthat she's apparently been packing behind his back.
"Um…"
"Weren't you told totake it easy?"
Lucy grimaces, quickly shoving the handful of books she has into the box in front of her before dropping her hand to her stomach. Tim's eyes follow their path, and this time he can't fight the smile as he watches her brush her shirt over her belly, cupping the little baby bump that's been steadily growing over the past several weeks.
"I only have twelve more days," she defends herself, grimacing as Tim walks over and surveys the small pile of boxes she's managed to pack while he's been at work. "Imoveintwelve days,Tim! I have to pack! I'm not ready, I have too much to do, I —"
Tim cuts her off with a sweet kiss, his lips pressing softly to hers as his hand drops to her hip. He sways into her space, smiling as he feels the fight drain from her body as he kisses her. She makes a little noise that goes straight to his groin and then presses herself further against him, her bump pressing into his belly.
"I said I'd help you pack," he murmurs, pulling back and cupping her cheek as he smiles at her. "We have almost two weeks, baby. Please,pleasedon't overwork yourself."
Lucy huffs and glances at the boxes she's packed.
"Tim. I've only done seven boxes overfive hours.Believe me, I'm taking it easy."
Tim surveys the rest of the living room, noting the multiple tea cups on the coffee table and the blanket fort Lucy has made on her side of the couch. The TV is on but on screensaver, theRokulogo bouncing from corner to corner.
"I watch an episode and then I pack a box," she explains, sighing as she lays her head on his chest, her ear over his heart. "I'm already on desk duty when I'm at work, Tim. I can't take anymore downtime or I'll gocrazy."
Tim sighs and drops his lips to her forehead, pressing a long kiss into her skin as he glances around the apartment.
"All right, babe. Butonlylittle bits at a time, okay? I'm here now, so let me take over. Sit. Direct me, since you like telling me what to do so much."
Lucy giggles and walks back to the couch, rearranging her blankets around her body and reaching for the fresh cup of tea she's just brewed. She sips at it as she surveys her living room critically, and then points to the pile of moving boxes she'd had him pick up the other day.
"Let's just finish packing the books for now. I want to wait until Celina is home from work to box up much else from out here — I don't know how much I want to take. She'll need the furniture, you know, so…"
She trails off, shrugging as she sips at her tea while watching him slowly arrange books in a box.
Timwantsto ask what she's planning on doing for living room furniture if she leaves everything here, but he doesn't want to seem like he's pushing her.
Hehas a perfectly nice, almost brand new living room set, of course, a nice tan sectional with plenty of room for both of themandthe girls, and he'd bemore thanhappy to move it into the new house the second she asks him.
But it'sher choice.
Everything at her pace.
If she's not planning on moving the couch or entertainment center, though, he wonders ifshe'sbeen thinking about it, too..
He finishes the books quickly and then moves to the coffee table, cleaning up the snack mess and empty mugs from her TV binge. Lucy watches him, grimacing at the mess she's made throughout the day, and then stands to help.
"No, sit," he murmurs, shaking his head. "I've got this, Luce."
Lucy huffs and rolls her eyes as she falls back onto the couch.
"I'm not an invalid, you know," she grumbles.
Tim just chuckles and bends down to kiss her cheek.
"I know, babe. You're doing the very hardest job, after all. Growing our girls big and strong."
Lucy rolls her eyes at him but her cheeks are pink and her lips are stretched into a small, pleased smile.
"Sap,"she teases.
Tim just shrugs, not even bothering to deny the accusation.
For her and their girls?
He'sdefinitelya sap.
"Speaking of ourgirls…"Lucy begins, turning to watch him as he tosses the trash and puts her mugs in the sink. He fills them with water and a little bit of soap to soak, and then tosses a cup towel over his shoulder as he turns to the fridge to see what she has in the way of dinner ingredients. "I gave Angela the envelope. For the barbeque, you know. And I told her that she had full creative control."
Tim chuckles and raises an eyebrow as he begins taking out the ingredients for steak, potatoes, and vegetables that are sitting on the top shelf.
It's a veryhimmeal, and he wonders if she ordered the ingredients because she knew he'd like it.
"Fullcontrol?" he asks.
Lucy buries her face in the back of the couch and Tim smiles, enjoying her flushed cheeks and bashful smile.
"Yeah. I figured… why not? She knows what she's doing. She's done thistwice,after all."
Tim begins slicing the steaks into neat, four ounce portions, setting them aside as he reaches for a pan and the butter she has sitting on the counter. He watches as Lucy squirms on the counter, clearly wanting to help but not wanting to be toldno, sitagain.
"Come here," he murmurs, pulling out a cutting board and an extra knife. He watches as Lucy bounces up and joins him at the counter, bumping his hip with hers as he hands her the onions and peppers. He smiles softly at her (heisa sap. He'ssucha sap) and drops his hand to her hip, guiding her onto one of the barstools. "Cut the veggies. Nice and thin, okay?"
Lucy takes the knife without even teasing him about telling her how to cook, immediately beginning to skin the onion and remove the seeds from the peppers.
"You're a good cook, you know," she says.
Tim hums as he covers both sides of the steaks in a generous amount of butter. He puts the pan on the stove and drops them in but doesn't turn it on yet, knowing the steaks will cook faster than the potatoes.
"I needed something to do," he confides in her as he begins peeling potatoes. "After Isabel disappeared. Cooking is… it was a nice distraction, you know? I was too focused on the recipe and temperatures and not burning things. Eventually it became like second nature and I didn'tneedthe recipes anymore, but in the beginning… it was nice. Structured. Easy to lose myself in."
Lucy hums but doesn't interrupt as he shrugs and slides the potatoes into nice, thin pieces.
Scalloped potatoes sound good, and Lucy has the dairy-free milk and butter she prefers, so she'll be able to stomach it well.
"It was something I did with my mom, too," he continues, his hands and knife steady as he makes perfect, even cuts. "We'd hide in the kitchen from my dad, sometimes. Genny wasn't much help, but she was agreattaste tester."
He pauses, the potatoes sliced carefully, and then sighs as he puts the knife down.
"I want to cook with the girls," he murmurs, smiling. "But… you know, I want their memories to be happier."
"That sounds nice," Lucy says, her hand dropping to caress their babies. Her thumb brushes the taut skin, and Tim wants to press his hand over hers, feel their babies beneath her skin, but more than that, he wants to make sure she has a healthy meal for dinner, to nurture herandtheir babies.
"I want to make all of their baby food," he adds, blushing a little bit as he drops his eyes back to the counter. He reaches for a glass pan, pre-heats the oven, and then begins arranging the potatoes into it. "I… saw a Baby Ninja when I was looking at stuff to put together a registry. It blends fruits and veggies. We can make all their food at home, and it'll be healthier for them."
Lucy makes a softawwwnoise as she finishes slicing the onions and peppers, and Tim harumphs as his cheeks heat even more.
"You're gonna be such a good daddy," she whispers. "I'm so glad I'm doing this with you."
Tim smiles down at the potatoes.
He still has doubts about what kind of dad he'll be, but hewantsto do better than his own father did, and he knows that, with Lucy by his side, helping him, hewill.
Celina comes home halfway through dinner, and Lucy eagerly dishes her a plate and practically bullies her into joining them at the island. Tim slides one of the extra steaks onto her plate as Lucy piles scalloped potatoes beside it, and he smiles as he watches the two friends chat about their respective days.
"And I see youfinallystarted packing!" Celina says, surveying the living room with a smile. "I was afraid you were going to wait until the last moment and then freak out about it."
Lucy rolls her eyes but doesn't deny it.
"Lucy wanted to talk to you about the furniture," Tim says, nodding toward the living room as he chews. "She's not sure what she's going to take. Once you two talk it out, I can finish packing the living room up."
Celina pauses with her fork halfway to her mouth.
"It'syourfurniture, Lucy. Are you not taking it?"
Lucy shrugs.
"I don't know. The new house is… bigger. This one little couch won't be enough to fill the space, and… I don't know, I was kind of thinking about starting over, you know?"
Celina nods.
"I get that. Our possessions can hold a lot of memories and bringing the furniture from here where, you know… a lot of stuff has happened… I mean, I understand not wanting to bring that bad juju into the new house."
Tim bites his cheek to keep from rolling his eyes, and despite not always believing in Celina's talk aboutaurasandenergies,he does understand wanting to start over.
A lot has happened here over the years.
Jackson.
Tamara.
(Tamara moving out,leaving).
Chris being left to die by Rosalind.
Ray.
Hegets it.
(Though he can't deny that he's alittlebit disappointed that not wanting to bring her furniture apparently doesn't have anything to do withhimand wanting him to move into the new house with her.)
"Do you have any prospective roommates in mind?" Lucy asks.
Tim half listens to their conversation as he piles more vegetables and steak onto Lucy's plate as she clears it. She throws him a look and mouthssap,but she begins munching on the broccoli without complaint.
"I don't know yet," Celina murmurs, shrugging. "I'd like to live on my own for a while, but… you know, living on a rookie's salary…"
"Oh, that's not an issue," Lucy says, waving her hand in the air between them. "I'm paying my half of the rent through the end of the lease. So you're not in a rush. Take some time to live by yourself,enjoyit!"
"Enjoy thesilence,"Celina adds, tossing Tim a glare as she does.
Lucy flushes but laughs. "Exactly! You have almost eight months before the lease renewal. When it's up, you can find a roommate or move somewhere else. But I'll pay my portion until then, and it should give you plenty of time. Just because I'm moving out doesn't mean I'm going to leave you in ."
Celina smiles and reaches for Lucy's hand, squeezing it.
"Thank you."
Tim mutterswe're notthatloudas Celina rolls her eyes. Lucy just laughs, her face flushed at the reminder that, since getting back together with Tim, they've been just as bad as Celina's previous roommates.
After dinner, Tim hauls Lucy into the bedroom, whisperingpacking can waitas he kisses her soundly and kicks the door closed behind them.
Lucy gives in easily (shealwaysdoes, but especially now that her hormones are running the show) and lets Tim back her up toward the bed, his mouth demanding as his hands slide under her shirt, quickly ridding her of it as he climbs onto the mattress and scoots up against the headboard. Lucy crawls into his lap, thighs on either side of his, and smirks as she kisses him again, her own hands busy ridding him of his t-shirt and unbuttoning his jeans as he peppers her chest in kisses, his hands caressing her belly lovingly as he sucks one of her nipples into his mouth.
"Is this about Celina's comments sayingwe're loud?"
Tim scoffs, but doesn't deny it.
"Wearethat loud, Tim," she murmurs, chuckling as she slides her fingers into his hair and tugs. Tim pulls off of her nipple with apop,smirking as he slides his hand into the back of her shorts to cup her ass.
"Youare that loud, baby."
It's Lucy's turn to roll her eyes as she shuffles around, undignified and clumsy, to try and remove her shorts and panties. Tim helps her and then shucks his own, and when she settles on his lap again, this time they're both gloriously naked.
"You cantryand be quiet, if you want," he murmurs, smirking as he kisses her again, lining their hips up so that when she rocks in his lap theybothgroan in pleasure. "But once you move… you can be asloud as you want."
Lucy moans and Tim chuckles, sliding a hand between them to line things up.
Lucydoestry to be quiet, but it's a lost cause.
(Andneitherof them can meet Celina's eyes in the morning as they make pancakes.)
Notes:
Moving time is getting sooo close! Now if only these two idiots can figure out that theyBOTHwant to live together by then...
As always, kudos and comments make me smile!
(Also this level of fluff is giving me a cavity. I need some DRAMA soon!)
Chapter 34
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Things go so well throughout the week (despite the constantboredomof being on desk duty at work and under Tim's watchful eye at home) that Lucy almost forgets that they have couples therapy on Thursday and that one of her babies is sick.
It hits with a crushing weight as she sits in Dr. Yarrow's office, and she reaches for Tim's hand with tears in her eyes.
Maybe sheshouldhave met with her therapist like Tim had suggested.
Maybe sheshouldhave gone in for an emergency session, because it feels like she's at a disadvantage, here.
Tim has already talked and processed with Dr. Keller and he seems… not atpeacewith what's happening, but he seems morecalm,and she feels like she's lost at sea, just barely treading water.
She's going to be amessin this session, and she's not sure if she's going to scream or cry or some horrible, embarrassing combination of both.
"You okay?" Tim murmurs softly. He brings their clasped hands to his mouth, his lips caressing her knuckles gently as he turns his body in his chair so that he's facing her. She clocks the exact moment he notices her tears, and the soft, broken noise he makes only causes her to cry harder.
"I'm just…" she tries, but she can't find the words. She blinks and more tears trails down her cheeks, salty as they drip past her lips. Her tongue darts out to capture them, and she shudders as she shakes her head. "No, Tim. No. I'mnotokay."
"Do we need to postpone? Do you need to go home?" he asks, concern etched on his beautiful face as he stares at her, his blue eyes soft, the crinkles around his lips deep as he frowns in worry.
Lucy shakes her head.
"No, I need… I need to be here. I just… I think I've been pushing everything down, and now that we're about to meet with Dr. Yarrow, it's…"
Tim hums and nods in understanding, tugging on their entwined hands until Lucy scoots from her chair and into his, nearly in his lap as he wraps his arms around her.
"I'm a mess, too," he whispers, pressing his lips to her temple as he rubs a hand up and down her back. "Talking with Dr. Keller the other day helped, but… but nothing takes away the worry, you know? Right now our babies are safe and sound, warm and protected inside of you. But I worry, every single day, about when they enter the world."
Lucy sniffles and nods, tightening her fingers in Tim's t-shirt.
"I can't lose my babies," she whispers, but she doesn't have time to elaborate or continue before the door opens and Dr. Yarrow pokes her head out of the door. She smiles when her eyes land on them, and Lucy tries to smile back but it's forced and watery.
"Come on in," she says.
Lucy stumbles out of Tim's arms and then holds onto his shoulder until she's able to stand without worry of unbalancing.
Pregnancy iswild.
Her center of balance is alwaysoff,and she has a feeling it's only going to get worse as her babies grow.
A small price to pay, she thinks, for her babies to grow big and strong.
Tim stands once she's steady, his hand falling to her hip to guide her as they walk toward Dr. Yarrow. Lucy appreciates the gesture, the warmth of his hand seeping into her skin and steadying her as they enter the office. They take a seat on the couch together, and this time, Tim sitsrightnext to her, his leg pressed against hers from hip to knee. He throws his arm around her shoulder and pulls her against him, kissing her temple as she searches for his other hand, clasping it tightly in her own as Dr. Yarrow hands them each a water bottle and then takes her own seat.
"Tim messaged me and told me the basics of what's going on," she begins, and Lucy nods, breathing unsteadily as she reaches for her water and twists it open with shaking fingers.
She appreciates how Dr. Yarrow doesn't beat around the bush, but she'snot ready.
Thankfully Tim speaks up, opening the conversation, and she's never been more thankful for his strength as she is right now.
"We saw Lucy's OB on Monday," he murmurs, entwining their fingers and pressing their palms together. "We're having twins, and… one of them isn't growing appropriately."
"I did some research," Dr. Yarrow says, smiling softly as she studies them. "On selective fetal growth restriction. One twin has a larger share of the placenta, correct? That's what's causing the uneven growth of the babies?"
Tim nods.
"Right. So, there's nothing to be done, really. It just… it happens sometimes, I guess."
Lucy swallows past the lump in her throat, her eyes filling with tears again as her greatest fear, her greatestshame,slips past her lips without her consent.
"It's my fault."
Both Tim and Dr. Yarrow pause, turning to her in shock.
Dr. Yarrow doesn't seem phased, but Tim looksshattered.
She glances away from him, staring at the floor as she sucks in a deep breath, a sob breaking free from her throat as she tries to pull air into her lungs.
She doesn't meet his eyes even when he tugs at her hand, their clasped fingers still tying them together in a way she's not strong enough to pull away from. Shecan'tlook at him, though, because she doesn't think she'll be able to handle him looking at her with the shame she knows is coming.
She sniffles and shrugs, scooting away from Tim on the couch as the feeling that's been niggling in the back of her mind since their most recent appointment makes itself known. "I didn't know I was pregnant forten weeksbecause I wasn't tracking my cycles. I was… I was stressed about the Detective's Exam and Ray andyou,and-and I drankwineand I wasn't sleeping or eating right, and—"
Tim cuts her off mid-rant, pulling her into his arms despite her resistance as she sobs.
She's worried, ever since she found out about Baby B being smaller, that this is somehow her fault.
She just hasn't been able to put it intowords.
"This isnotyour fault," Tim murmurs, shaking his head as he presses his lips to her hair. "Lucy, nothing you did or didn't do could have caused this. Youcannotblame yourself for this."
Lucy sniffles and pushes at Tim's chest, trying to put space between them again despite herneedto be in his arms.
"But what if itis?"she argues, turning to shove away from Tim but instead putting herself directly in his gaze. His beautiful blue eyes are wide and wet, tears trailing slowly down his cheeks as he stares at her.
Not withshame,though.
Not withhate.
"Have you been carrying this around all on your own?" he whispers, reaching out to touch her but letting his hand fall between them when she jerks away from his touch. He's staring at her with impossibly soft,sadeyes, his expression shattered and solovingall at once. "Baby, have you beenblaming yourselfall this time?"
Lucy hiccups and shakes her head.
She hasn't, not really.
It hadn't even become a fully formed thought until after their latest appointment.
At first it was just a worry, but then, like an infection, grew andgrewuntil it was all she could think about, and then it hit her like a fuckingbullet traintoday when she'd been sitting outside of Dr. Yarrow's office, sick with anxiety.
"N-no," she stutters, a great, heaving sob escaping after her denial. "No, just… it just occurred to me, a-and I realized that Imightbe the problem. I could havecaused this,Tim. I could… it could bemy faultthat our baby is sick!"
Tim turns to Dr. Yarrow, his eyes pleading, and she clears her throat as she prepares to step in.
"Lucy, sweetheart, youdid notcause this. Like I said, I did my research. I wanted to be prepared for your session today, and everything I read — all of the peer-reviewed, in-depth studies,all of themagreed that there's nothing the mother can do to prevent this from happening. It's how the fetus develops in the first few weeks, how the umbilical cord and placenta develop. It happens alotin twins who share a placenta. It justhappens,and I promise you, being stressed and drinking an occasional glass of wine didnotcause this."
Lucy sniffles and shakes her head, though, because if she didn't cause this,what did?
She needsanswers.
"You wouldneverhurt our babies," Tim murmurs, reaching out again.
This time Lucy doesn't pull away, and as Tim pulls her to him, as she falls into his arms and listens to his heart beat under her ear and feels the rise and fall of his chest, she begins to calm.
She sniffles and hiccups and sips at the water Tim offers her.
Eventually she's able to breathe without sobbing, and theembarrassmentbegins to set in.
She flushes and buries her head in the crook of Tim's arm, breathing in his scent.
God, she's such a hormonalidiot.
Sheknows,logically, that she couldn't have caused this, but once the idea took root…
"I'm sorry," she whispers, her words muffled by Tim's shirt.
He kisses her head and brushes his fingers slowly through her hair.
"Don't apologize, Luce," he murmurs. "It's okay."
"He's right," Dr. Yarrow says, smiling encouragingly at Lucy as she chances a glance around the room. "Emotions are running high right now, Lucy, and you've got a double dose because of the pregnancy hormones. You probably know in your head that you didn't cause this. But you're not sleeping well, you're worried about your babies, and you're awash in hormones. You have every right to have a moment of illogical worry, but Tim is right, and I'm sure he'll remind you as many times as you need to hear it:this isnotyour fault."
Lucy sniffles and reaches for the tissues beside the couch, curling back into Tim's arms after she blows her nose.
"I just want my babies to be healthy," she whispers. "I want to bring hometwobabies from the hospital."
"Me, too," Tim agrees, kissing her head as he rubs a hand up and down her back. His other hand, squished between them, runs softly from the top of her belly down to the bottom, caressing their babies as they slumber.
"As long as you keep talking," Dr. Yarrow says. "You'll be okay. It's important to acknowledge that high risk pregnancies are very stressful. Keep talking, keepcommunicating,and keep coming to therapy."
Lucy nods, her cheeks still warm from embarrassment at her little breakdown.
"Now, on that topic," Dr. Yarrow continues, flipping through her notes as she offers them an encouraging smile. "Let's talk about communication."
After their session, Lucy can't settle.
She takes a deep breath and turns to Tim, watching him for a moment as he drives. The sun is shining through his window, lighting up his dark blonde hair, and she pauses for a moment to take him in, to run her eyes over his handsome features, his strong jaw, his thick arms.
"You okay?"
Tim turns to her and smirks, clearly having felt her gaze on him.
"I'm…" she pauses, remembering Dr. Yarrow's words about communicating, theirhomeworkof trying to put their feelings into words so that they don't build and fester like her worries about the babies had. "I can't relax. I need todosomething."
Tim hums in consideration, tapping his fingers on the wheel as he considers. He glances at the clock and Lucy follows his gaze, sees that it's only four in the afternoon and that they have plenty of time left in their day.
"How about we bring stuff to the house?" he murmurs, smiling. "Hollie told me we can bring boxes over, we just can't occupy the house before our closing date. No one is currently living there, so…"
He trails off, but Lucy is nodding before he's even finished speaking.
"Yes.Yes,let's do that. And, oooh, we can get dinner afterward."
Tim chuckles and smiles at her, his eyes crinkling, and then nods.
"All right. Boxes and dinner it is."
Because Lucy is still on restricted duty,Timends up carrying all of the boxes down the stairs by himself while she sits in the back of the truck and sucks on a popsicle to beat the early evening heat. She makes no attempt to hide the way she's checking him out, his muscles bulging as he carries boxes of books, the neckline of his shirt becomes soaked in sweat.
He'shot.
And he's allhers.
Tim rolls his eyes but gives her a little show, flexing his muscles more than necessary as he sets the final box in the back and then holds out a hand.
"Milady?"
Lucy giggles and holds out a hand, letting him help her down from the truck bed. He kisses her softly, pressing his sweaty body to hers, and then guides her back to the passenger side.
"Let's get dinner on the way," he suggests when he starts the truck. "We can eat it picnic style in your new home."
Ournew home, she wants to say, but she's already been vulnerable enough today and she's feeling veryraw— she doesn't think she can handle him sayingnoornot yet.
Not that she thinks he would, but… she can't chance it, not right now.
They have time.
It can wait.
They pick up Italian, alfredo and shrimp scampi and breadsticks, and Lucy gets to repeat her little peep show when Tim brings all of the boxesinside.Except this time she's more distracted, spending half of her time looking around her new living room and kitchen, peeking into the bathroom and bedroom. The master bedroom ishuge,and she's already planning on buying a king size bed for it so that she and Timandthe girls can all sleep together when they're old enough to co-sleep.
Eventually Tim drops the last box on the living room floor, wiping his forehead and glancing around the space.
They have so much to do — so much to move, to pack and thenunpack— but Lucy knows that, in the end, it'll be worth it.
"Hungry?" Lucy asks, smiling as she begins unpacking the paper plates and plastic utensils. She's sitting in the middle of the empty hardwood floor, opening bags and breathing in deeply as the aroma of delicious pasta fills her nostrils.
"Yeah," Tim agrees, but he pauses, staring at the empty wall beside the door before he reaches into his pocket. He walks over to one of the boxes and tears off a piece of tape, and Lucy watches, confused, as he presses a small square piece of paper to the wall and fixes it in place with the recycled tape before standing back and admiring his work.
Lucy's breath catches when she sees what he's hung up, tears springing to her eyes as he grins at the little piece of paper, his blue eyes sparkling and her favorite smile crinkles coming out full force.
"Nowit's home," he whispers.
Lucy nods, barely noticing as Tim sits down next to her and kisses her cheek, reaching over her to grab the container of Alfredo.
It's a picture.
A picture of theirbabies.
Their most recent ultrasound, their babies heads and feet and little, teeny tiny hands clear and distinct.
And he'dhung it upin her new home.
She sniffles and smiles, reaching over to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
She can't wait until she can share this home with himandtheir babies.
Notes:
Two chapters in one day? This is unheard of. It's been a shitty day, but writing these two brings me joy.
Also enjoy the fluff (can we call this chapter fluff?) because the road gets a little bit bumpy in a few chapters!
Comments are appreciated more than you know!
Chapter 35
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Before either of them can blink, they're closing on the house and moving the rest of Lucy's things in with the help of their friends and their various trucks. Tim takes most of it, going back and forth between the apartment and the house at least once a day, if not more.
When it's all moved in, he glances around the living room, a smile playing on his lips as he looks at the boxes of partially unpacked books and dishes, knick knacks and decorations.
It's a mess, but it's a home.
Hopefullytheirhome, soon, and not justhers.
"What amess!"Lucy exclaims, walking into the living room with a box of towels in her hands.
Tim makes a noise and takes it from her, frowning because she's not supposed to bemovingthe boxes. They'd come to a compromise wherehemoved the boxes andsheunpacked them, but she's clearly either already forgotten or she just doesn't care.
"It weighs like three pounds, Tim," she says, rolling her eyes. She glares at him with her hands on her hips, and he knows she's supposed to look fierce but she mostly just lookscute.She's almost twenty one weeks pregnant and she'spoppedrecently, her belly sticking out in almost all of her clothing with the exception of large sweaters and Tim's t-shirts that she's stolen.
They know that almost everyone at the station knows, but they haven't bothered to make an announcement.
Within the next few days, everyone close to them will know if they don't already, and that's all that matters.
"I know you'recapable,"he murmurs, sliding the box out of her hands and setting it on the kitchen island before drawing her into his arms. She drops her hands from her hips to wrap around him, settling low on his back, and he smirks as her fingers play with the waistband of his jeans. "But I'm here, Luce. You don'thave to.Tell me to move boxes around to your heart's content — I'll even flex while doing it, if that would help."
"But will you take your shirt off?" Lucy asks, glancing up at him through her lashes. She smiles, her eyes sparkling, and Tim laughs as he backs up just enough to reach for the hem of his henley. He pulls it up and off in one smooth motion and Lucy hums happily as she runs her fingers across his stomach.
"Will you letmemove the boxes now?" he asks, eyebrow raised.
Lucy hums but doesn't speak, too busy to admiring Tim's pecs to formulate a response. Tim just smirks at her, trying not to get too excited about Lucy's warm little fingers on his naked skin because there'sstuff to dobefore the barbecue this weekend.
They only have a few days, and —
"Oh, fuck," he grunts, sucking a breath in through his nose as he lets his head fall back.
Lucy has replaced her warm little hands with her mouth, sucking one of his nipples into her mouth.
She grins when she pulls back, the sensitive flesh caught between her teeth. She tugs on it and then lets it go, and Tim groans as he drops his hands to her hips.
"You'retrouble,"he murmurs.
Lucy laughs and presses her palm flat over his chest.
"Yes, I am.But… we should do at leastsomework before we get distracted."
"Mmm?" Tim questions, distracted by the way the sun dances across her freckled cheeks as he brushes his thumbs over her hips. "Yeah? Like what?"
"Like…" Lucy pauses, biting her lip to contain her glee as she glances back toward the master bedroom. "Like putting the new bed together. That shoulddefinitelybe priority number one."
Tim glances down the hall where the frame of Lucy's new king-sized bed is in pieces leaning against the bedroom wall. The mattress and box spring had been delivered this morning and are still in the living room, but the frame still needs to be put together and it's going to behell.
He still remembers putting together the new Queen sized bed they'd picked out after they'd ruined her old canopy frame.
He sighs and Lucy chuckles, easily following his line of thought to the cussing and frustrationthatbedframe had caused.
"I know it's going to be a pain," she murmurs. "But when you're done… imagine how muchroomwe'll have.So much room, know… for sleeping."
Tim snorts and leans down to kiss her gently.
"Right.Sleeping."
Lucy slides her hand down his chest and sticks her fingers inside the waistband of his jeans, though he doesn't let them stay there for long. If he does, he's going to lose complete control of the situation, and he supposes she's right — they probably should dosomework if all of their friends will be over in a few days time.
"All right," he agrees, nodding as he slides her hand out of his jeans and into his own. "We'll put the bed together. And then…"
Lucy grins and tugs on his hand as she leads them toward her new, much larger, bedroom.
"And then,"she agrees.
It takes them entirely too long to put the bed together.
Well, it takesTimentirely too long.
Lucy brings in one of the camp chairs he'd brought over since she'd decided not to bring the couch and plops down in it, snacking on popcorn and generally being unhelpful as Tim tries to make sure the frame is steady enough for them.
He canfeelher eyes on him as he works, as he pauses to wipe sweat off of his forehead and as his muscles bulge from holding up the heavy pieces.
"I feel objectified," he murmurs, though he's smiling as he says it.
Lucy chuckles and tosses a piece of popcorn at him. He grabs it off of his chest and pops it into his mouth, winking over at her as she repositions in her chair.
"Do you object?"
Tim hums and watches her for a moment. She's squirming in the camp chair, her feet folded underneath her ass, her cheeks flushed and her eyes a little bit glassy.
Him putting together her bed frame isdoing itfor her.
He smirks.
"No, no objections."
Lucy smiles and eats another handful of popcorn as Tim lays on his back on the floor, his arms stretched out above him as he screws the metal mattress frame into the wooden headboard. He gives it a good, hard shake when it's done, just to check. It's sturdy —plusthey'd bought those little anti-shake stoppers to keep the bed from banging into the wall, which theyshould havebought back at the old apartment because he's sure her neighbors hated them.
Lucy finally hops up from her chair as he finishes the frame. He stands, too, wiping his forehead with the back of his arm as he walks the perimeter of the frame, making sure all the pieces are in the right place and sturdy.
"Final touches," he says, holding up the package with the anti-shake stoppers. Lucy laughs and takes it from him, opening it before handing him one and taking the other. They split up and move to opposite sides of the frame, their eyes meeting as they smile like lovesick teenagers.
They're easy to install and are in place in less than ten minutes, and Lucy grabs the headboard to try shaking it as Tim heads into the living room for the box spring.
He barely has the box spring and mattress in place before Lucy is practically climbing him like a tree, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as she drops her forehead to his. Tim grips her hips tightly, helping her wrap her legs around his waist as he walks them toward the bed.
"We're tempting fate by not putting the sheets down."
Lucy huffs in annoyance as he drops her to the bed.
"I don't know where they areeeee," she whines.
Tim laughs and cups her cheek, kissing her slowly as he tries to keep himself from crawling into the bed right after her.
"Sheets,Lucy. We can get… messy."
Lucy sighs and flops back dramatically onto the mattress as Tim musters every ounce of self control he can possibly find. He backs out of the bedroom, eyes on Lucy as he does.
"Stay," he says, much like he would command Kojo. She doesn't look like she's getting ready to go anywhere, but he doesn't want to have to hunt herandthe sheets down.
Speaking of sheets… they'd had to buy new ones for the King Size bed, so he knows they have to be in one of the bags instead of boxes. He ruffles through them, trying to remember which store they'd gotten them at.
Walmart, Target, Home Goods… Ah ha!
"Yes!"
He can hear Lucy giggling in the bedroom as he holds the sheets up, the waterproof cover in one hand and the fitted and flat sheet in the other.
Lucy jumps off of the bed as soon as he's in the room, and he winks at her as he quickly puts the waterproof sheet on and then takes the fitted sheet out of the packaging. He's unfolding it to spread it out when he catches sight of Lucy, and he nearly swallows his tongue as he watches her wiggle out of her panties and toss them onto the floor.
"Oh,fuck."
Lucy smirks and saunters over to him, completely naked, her hands sliding around his waist to unbutton his jeans. He fumbles the sheet twice as she's slowly pulling the zipper down, her fingers brushing along his hard length as she does.
"Fuck it," he decides.
The waterproof sheet is on, and that's the most important.
He grabs Lucy around the waist and throws her (gently) onto the bed, swallowing her laughter as he climbs in after her, settling between her thighs as he runs his hand from her hip to her neck, cupping her cheek as he kisses her slowly, sweetly.
"God I love you," he murmurs, tasting her smile as she uses her feet to shove his jeans and boxer briefs down. He kicks them off, not caring where they land, and then rolls them over until Lucy's on top. She smiles down at him, her cheeks bright red and her hair falling around their faces, creating a perfect little privacy curtain around them.
"I love you, too," she whispers, and then she's kissing him again and there are no more words shared between them for a long,longtime.
Later (much later), they lay together on the dry spot of the bed, slowly catching their breath as the sweat cools on their bodies. Lucy is draped over his chest, her fingers tracing nonsensical patterns over his skin as he runs his fingers through her hair.
"Tim?" she murmurs.
"Hmm?"
"Why haven't you mentioned moving in with me? Do you… do you not want to?"
Tim sits up, causing Lucy to squeak as he displaces her from his chest. She scrambles to sit next to him, her knees pressing into his stomach as he wraps his arm around her naked waist.
"What made you thinkthat?"
Lucy bites her lip and shrugs.
"Tim, I made you put your name onallof the papers. This is… this isour home, not just mine."
Tim stares at her, at the best thing that's ever happened to him, and smiles as he runs his hand up and down her arm comfortingly.
"I didn't want to pressure you, I guess," he whispers, shrugging as Lucy takes his free hand and plays with his fingers. He grabs the pillows he'd thrown haphazardly onto the bed between rounds one and two and sticks them behind him, settling back and settling Lucy on his chest once more before he continues. "This is all atyourpace, remember?"
Lucy hums and doesn't respond for a long moment.
Tim doesn't push her; he knows it sometimes takes her a few seconds to put her thoughts in order.
"I think it's atourpace, now," she finally says, turning her head so that she can meet his eye without taking her head off of his chest. "Things are different.We'redifferent. We're working on it. So… if you're ready, I'm ready. You can put your house up for sale. We can move your things this weekend if you want, and—"
Lucy squeaks again as Tim lurches out from under her, crawling across the huge bed and standing on the floor as he searches around for something.
"Whatare you doing?" she asks, settling back on the pillows with a laugh as Tim finally finds his jeans.
"I'm calling our realtor," he tells her.
Lucy reaches out and grabs his hand, pulling him back onto the bed as she laughs, her eyes crinkled and her cheeks flushed.
"Notright now,Tim! Get back here and cuddle me! God, is the concept ofafterglowlost on you?"
Tim chuckles and tosses his phone onto the bed beside the pillows, pulling Lucy into his arms and kissing her as he reaches for the blanket that was abandoned around round three.
"Later," he vows, and then he seals his promise with a kiss.
Notes:
Yay! Chenford is communicating and talking doing so well. Surely nothing can go wrong, right? The next two chapters are pure BBQ Fluffiness but then after that we get back on the rollercoaster. Hold on tight!
As always, kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 36
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
She's shopping for hot dogs when it happens.
"Oh!"
She pauses in the middle of the meat aisle and presses a hand to her belly, her heart thumping heavily in her chest at the weird feeling in her stomach. She frowns and waits to see if it'll happen again, ignoring the looks from the various people maneuvering their carts around her suddenly still form.
She's about to chalk it up to pregnancy gas when she feels it again, and the panic builds slowly, crawling up her throat as something tugs at her belly. It feels weird, like she has indigestion or something. It doesn'thurt,necessarily,but she's on high alert for anything concerning her babies after their scare.
She reaches for her phone and calls Tim, biting her lip as she presses her hand to her belly, palpating the taut skin as she waits for him to pick up.
"Luce? Is everything okay? If this store is out of hot dogs, too, then I can pick some up from the grocery store by the station on the way home."
Lucy blows out a breath and shakes her head, her vision blurring as she feels itagain.
"Tim," she whispers, and while his tone had been light and teasing before, he's suddenly serious.
"Lucy, what's wrong, babe?"
"I… I don't know. I just felt somethingweird.I was just walking along,and-and… oh god."
"Hey, hey, babe. Take a deep breath, okay?"
Lucy nods even though she knows Tim can't see her, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth a few times until she can find her words again.
"I'm at the store and I felt something weird, Tim. It doesn'thurt,but it feels different than, like,gasor something. It feels likemore."
"Okay. Don't panic yet, Luce. Just… hold on, I just saw Angela. Let me get her. Maybe she knows what it is."
Lucy sniffles and moves her cart out of the way so that a mother with three toddlers in her own cart can get to the hot dogs. She watches them, holding her belly and hopingdesperatelythat it'll behertrying to wrangle a whole cart full of kids one day.
"Hey, we're back, Luce. Tell Ang what you felt."
Lucy can hear the tension in Tim's voice and shehatesthat she's worried him, but she's panicking at the drop of ahatwith this pregnancy no matter how calm she tires to be.
"Hey, Ang. So, um, I'm at the store and … and all of a sudden I felt something weird in my belly. Like, right behind my belly button? It was … god, I don't know how to describe it."
"Does it feel like bubbles popping? Or like butterflies? I think I might know what's going on."Angela asks, her voice calm and soft.
Lucy blows out a breath and winces when it happensagain.
"Kind of? But like…angrybutterflies, I guess, because it's strong. It feels likefirecrackersor something."
She can practicallyhearthe smile in Angela's voice when she continues."Remind me how far along you are, Luce."
"Twenty one weeks."
Both Tim and Lucy respond at the same time, and Lucy can't help the little chuckle that passes her lips.
"I think… and I'm not a doctor so if you'rereallyworried, you should call your OB. But I think it might just be your babies moving."
Lucy's heart nearly stops beating as it happensagain,the tears clinging to her eyelashes suddenly falling as she presses her hand over her belly again.
Her babies.
Oh!
"Oh,"Tim whispers on the other end of the phone, and Lucy hears Angela's soft laugh and a short scuffle as Tim takes the phone back from her."Luce, are… are our girls moving? Can youfeelthem?"
Lucy bites her lip and presses her fingers to her belly again, poking around to try and make it happen again. She feels the firecrackers again when she pokes right above her belly button, and she smiles as she imagines a teeny tiny foot kicking her hand, annoyed that she's interrupted their nap.
"Hey, babies," she whispers, rubbing her hand across her belly now.
"I wish I was there,"Tim murmurs, but Lucy just shakes her head as she feels her babies kicking again.
"You probably couldn't feel them," she whispers, staring at her little bump in wonder. "I can't feel it through the skin, just… just inside. It'sweird.Like I swallowed alotof carbonation or something."
Tim chuckles, but it's a wet sound.
"I still wish I was there."
Lucy wishes he was here, too, but only she'd had the day off. He'd managed to wrangle the early shift so he'd be off before the barbecue, and him leaving their brand new, king sized bed this morning had almost been as bad as him missing this moment.
"I wish you were, too," she murmurs, propping the phone between her shoulder and ear as she moves her cart back toward the hot dogs. She still has one hand on her belly, and she rubs right over their little girls as she begins piling different types of hot dogs into the cart. "But you'll be home soon, right?"
"As soon as Herndon and I finish this paperwork,"he agrees.
Lucy hums and turns the cart toward where she knows the ground beef is.
"We'll see you soon, then," she murmurs, speaking for herselfandtheir babies.
"Love you,"Tim says, and she can practicallyhearthe smile in his voice."All three of my girls."
Lucy nearly cries again when his words wash over her, but she manages to hold the tears back as she finally turns the cart toward the checkout.
"Love you, too," she whispers.
She feels the fluttering in her belly again and wonders if their babies are saying goodbye, too, and then hangs up the phone so she can check out and get home to Tim as soon as possible.
Tim comes through the front door just minutes before Lucy is expecting the first of their guests to arrive, and she smiles as she glances up from the salad she's making.
"Welcome home, babe," she murmurs.
The smile that lights up Tim's face is like thesun,and Lucy sighs in happiness as he drops his keys in the bowl on the table before walking up to her and pulling her into his arms for a deep kiss. She melts against him, her belly between them, and wraps her arms around his shoulders, her fingers scratching through the short hairs at the nape of his neck as she returns his kiss.
Tim pulls back when the need to breathe becomes too overwhelming to ignore, but he doesn't go far. He drops his forehead to hers and his hands to her belly, cupping both sides of her bump as he meets her gaze.
"How are daddy's girls?" he asks, his voice a low murmur.
Lucy reaches down to press her hand over his, wishing more than anything thathecould feel the babies, too.
"They calmed down a while ago," she says, smiling as she remembers the constant bubbles, the littleswooshesof their girls moving around. "It's… it's amazing, Tim. I can't wait until you can feel them."
"Me, either," Tim whispers, and then he's kissing her again, holding their babies between them as he presses her back against the fridge.
Lucy giggles and slides her hand underneath his shirt, searching for skin even though she knows they won't have time for anything before their guests arrive.
She's proven correct when Angela bursts through the door only moments later, making a loud noise of annoyance when she catches them making out against the fridge.
"Oh, come on!"
Tim turns to her, his kiss swollen lips pulled into a frown as he glares.
"God, have you ever heard ofknocking?"
Angela cackles as she sets down a large box on the kitchen island before coming around to wrap Lucy in a brief hug.
"Are you excited for tonight?"
Lucy nods, her eyes sparkling as she glances at the box.
"Is that the … gender reveal… thing?"
She doesn't actuallyknowwhat Angela has planned. She doesn't know if it's a cake or poppers or something else entirely, but she'sexcited.
Tim almost has her convinced they're having girls, but she wants toknow.
Angela shakes her head. "Nope, Wes is bringing that stuff inside; this is for you. But not yet. And also, shouldn't you be sitting down? You're growinghumans,Lucy. Tim can finish making this salad."
Lucy laughs as Angela tugs her onto the back porch, shoves a drink in her hands, and then drops down beside her while Tim dutifully takes over party preparation.
After Angela and Wesley arrive, it's like the seal is broken, and for the next hour Lucy isn't left alone for a single moment. Nolan and Bailey come by to congratulate her, then Nyla and James. Grey arrives next, then Tamara, and before she knows it the sun is beginning to set and their back porch is filled with all of their friends and family, the smell of cooking meat, and laughter.
Lucy hasn't lifted her finger for a single thing, Angela constantly refreshing her non-alcoholic punch while Tim brings her snacks. The pile of boxes and gift bags on the kitchen island grows until it's about to take over the entire house, and despite knowing she and Tim don'tneedanything for their new house, she can't help but feel loved that all of their friends brought housewarming gifts.
"Are you ready to find out if you're having a mini Chen or Bradford?" Nolan asks, dropping down onto the outdoor couch beside her.
Lucy grins, her eyes sparkling in the fairy lights as she nods.
"How does everyone know I'm pregnant, anyway?" she asks, addressing her question to the group at large.
Grey laughs, a full, deep-bellied laugh, as he responds.
"It's common knowledge at this point," he says, shaking his head as his lips twitch up in amusement. "Also, Smitty told the entire station a few weeks ago. Literally theentire station,all the way from IA to the garage."
Tim groans from where he's manning the grill.
"I'm going tokillhim," he growls, but Lucy just laughs.
"Everyone is just waiting for you to announce it," Grey continues, smirking as he leans against the wall next to Lucy's spot. "No one wanted to push you or take the moment away from you, but… yeah.Smitty.He started a pool and everything."
Lucy rolls her eyes but she can't help the smile that stretches her lips.
Smitty and hisbetting pools.
"What's the pool about?"
"Whether it's Bradford's or not," Grey says, smirking, and the growl that comes from Tim this time ismuchlouder.
"I willgut him."
Angela and Nyla cackle.
"As if we'd let that continue," Nyla says, rolling her eyes. "We took care of it weeks ago, babe. He changed it to a due date pool on threat of death."
"Thank you,"Lucy murmurs, shaking her head in amusement. "He's amess."
"What does he evendobesides cause chaos?" Tim asks, still sullen as he brings Lucy a plate with a burger and salad.
"Veggie?" she murmurs.
Tim gives her alook.
"With extra pickles," he says, winking. "I know what momma likes."
Lucy grins and bites into it as Angela holds up a hand. She finishes the bite she's chewing and then claps her hands together.
"Speaking ofmomma!"she says, handing her plate to her husband so that she can reach down into the box they'd brought outside. "We have arevealto do! And I think it's dark enough now!"
Lucy sits up straighter, her heart suddenly racing as she reaches for Tim's hand. He smiles at her and entwines their fingers, handing the spatula to Grey so he can take over the grill.
"Dark enough?" he asks, raising an eyebrow as Lucy stands beside him. "Are you blowing something up, Lopez?"
Angela grins."Kind of,though there are rules about explosions within city limits, so I had to make do. Instead, we didthis."
She reaches into the box and grabs two long tubes, colored half blue and half pink, a long wick at the end. She hands one to Tim and one to Lucy and then steps back. "They don't explode, but they're like … sparklers oncrack.There will be a lot of smoke and a lot of sparks, but nothing explodes."
"How will we know?" Tim murmurs, tuning the tube over in his hand.
"The smoke," Wesley explains, smiling as he wraps his arm around his wife. "Pink or blue."
Lucy turns around to put her plate down, and then wraps both of her hands around the tube.
"One for each?" she asks, and while Angela nods, Nolan makes a noise of surprise where he's standing with his arm around Bailey's waist.
"Each?Whateach?"
Tim chuckles. "Did Smitty not spreadthataround, too?"
"Spreadwhat?"Nyla asks.
Angela smirks, and Lucy sends her a silent wink and smile in thanks.
Everyone had known she was pregnant, but at least she gets to surprise them withthispart.
"It's twins!" she announces, and her laughter is immediately drowned out by everyone cheering and congratulating them. She accepts a hug from Tamara and a handshake from James, and then turns back to Tim, tube clasped in her hands.
"Ready?"
Tim nods, his smile small and soft.
"Ready. Though I already know we're having girls."
Lucy rolls her eyes as everyone makes a large half circle around them. Angela brings a lighter and has them hold the wicks together so that they'll hopefully go off at the same time. Tim leans down and presses a soft kiss to Lucy's lips before they turn, pointing the tubes away from their friends so no one gets covered in smoke and sparks.
"I'm so nervous," she whispers, even though she knows she'll love her babies no matter what.
Tim smiles at her, his eyes so,sosoft, and she nearly cries from the obvious love in his gaze.
Before she can, though, the tubes begin smoking, sparks flying from the ends as the smoke puffs out and fills the air, gray at first but slowly changing color.
Cheers erupt behind them as the smoke, now bright pink, engulfs both of them, but Lucy doesn't have eyes for any of their friends.
She can only stare atTim,who is openly crying, tears pouring down his cheeks as he glances at first his sparkler and then Lucy's, the pink smoke puffing from both of them confirming his daddy's intuition that they're having babygirls.
"Luce,"he whispers, his voice hoarse and emotional, and she smiles, tears in her own eyes as he chucks the tube he's holding and pulls her into his arms. She squeals, dropping her own tube as she buries her face in his neck.
He picks her up and spins her around, the fairy lights in the backyard blurring in her vision as he swings her in happiness.
"I love you so much," he murmurs, pressing his lips to hers once her feet are back on the ground. Their kiss tastes like salt and happiness, and Lucy nearly chokes on emotion as Tim drops to his knees and presses his lips to her belly, her white sundress swaying in the breeze as he kisses her stomach, his large hands completely covering their babies. "And I loveyou,my girls."
He stands and pulls Lucy back into his arms, kissing her as he holds all three of his girls tightly in his arms.
Notes:
BABY GIRLSSSSSS! AND Lucy felt the babies kick?
I hope you liked this chapter, I've had it planned for a while! The next one is just as sweet or sweeter, so make an appointment with your local dentist if needed!
Comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 37
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim hasn't been able to stop smiling since they'd discovered his intuition was correct and they are having two baby girls.
Two!
He's havingtwobaby girls!
He's hoped and he's spent the past several weeks beingsure,but it's different now that heknows.
Healsohasn't been able to stop touching Lucy, even though Angela and Nyla have been giving him non stop shit about it.
Right now he's sitting beside her on the cushioned outdoor couch, and she's practically in his lap, her sundress swirling in the wind as he traces nonsensical patterns over her belly. Her head is resting on his collarbone, and he's smiling as he thinks about her and their babies.
Theirgirls.
Allthreeof his girls, in his arms, happy and as healthy as they can be for the moment.
Tim presses a kiss to Lucy's hair, his smile growing as she glances up at him, pausing in her conversation to pucker her lips and demand arealkiss. Tim obliges her easily, ignoring Angela's eye roll as he softly kisses his girlfriend. Lucy smiles at him as their lips part, her eyes sparkling, and then goes back to talking animatedly to their friends.
Tim barely hears a word.
He's in his own little world, where only he and Lucy and their babies matter.
He lifts his free hand and takes a sip of his beer, letting the liquid burn its way down his throat as he noses at Lucy's skin. She smells like outside and smoke and lavender, and he wants nothing more than to kick everyone out of his house —their house —so that he can take Lucy inside and worship every inch of her.
"Where are you?"
Tim comes back around to Lucy's sweet, soft voice, her hand on his cheek as she angles his face until he's meeting her gaze.
He smiles and turns his head, pressing a kiss to her palm.
"Just thinking about how fucking lucky I am," he murmurs, gazing down at her like she's the only thing in the entire world. "A few months ago… Lucy, I losteverything.I fucked everything up and I was completely…utterlyalone. But now I have youandyou're giving me two precious baby girls? I…"
He pauses, trailing off and swallows thickly, his eyes misty as he stares down at her, at her brown eyes sparkling in the moonlight.
"I ambeyondlucky that the universe saw it fit to give meyou."
Lucy smiles and stretches up to kiss him, and Tim sighs as he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her further into his lap.
"As much as Ihateto break up this … disgusting little love fest," Angela announces, clapping her hands together loudly enough to startle Tim and Lucy apart.
Timglaresat the interruption, but Lucy just laughs.
"It's present time!"
Lucy climbs off of Tim's lap and stares out at all of their friends in turn. Tim mostly just stares at her, watches as she nearly over balances before pressing one hand to her belly while the other shoots out to hold onto something. There's nothing close enough, but Tim moves quickly, stepping into her side and wrapping his arm around her to help her steady herself.
"Thanks," Lucy murmurs softly to him, and then, to Angela, "We don't need any housewarming gifts, you guys! We're combining two households already. You really shouldn't have."
Angela's eyes sparkle in a way that lets Tim know she's up to something, but he doesn't have long to ponderwhatshe could be up to before she's grinning and bouncing in place, her eyes sparkling.
"They're not housewarming gifts. They'rebabygifts!"
Lucy glances up at Tim, confused, but he's at a loss, too.
"Baby gifts?" she asks, cocking her head to the side. "We aren't having a baby shower, though?"
"Yes, you are! You just didn't know about it!" Angela announces, smiling as she grabs Lucy's hand and begins to haul her inside. They're still not fully moved in, bits and pieces of furniture and boxes everywhere, but they have bar stools at the island counter and Angela shoves her into one of them before ushering everyone else inside, too. Nolan and Bailey lean on the other side of the island, Bailey with a pencil and pad of paper in her hands, while everyone else pulls up various pieces of furniture to perch on. Nyla and James take the camp chairs that Tim had brought over weeks ago, while Tamara, Grey, and Celina pile onto the part of Tim's sectional that he'd managed to move in the night before.
It's ridiculous, and Tim has to fight back a laugh as he watches his little ragtag family sit haphazardly around his disastrous new house.
"You guys didn't have to do this," Lucy whispers, surveying the literal mountain of gifts on their kitchen island with tears in her eyes. Tim doesn't speak, doesn't really know what to say, so he simply stands behind Lucy, one hand on her hip and the other on her shoulder.
"We wanted to," Angela says, smiling as she hands Lucy the first gift bag, a plain silver bag with glitter lining the top. "We know you don't have much for the babies yet, and we know you haveso manyother things on your plate. Wewantedto take this stress off of you. The big things are in the SUV — cribs, car seats, and a twin stroller. Wesley and I were the only ones who knew you were having twins, so we got the things you needed double of so we didn't give the surprise away. Everyone else worked off of a copy of the baby registry we had for Jack when I was pregnant with him."
Lucy sniffles and Tim leans down to press his lips to her hair. He closes his eyes and breathes her in for a second, overwhelmed by the love their little found family has for them, the love their babies will be born into.
"That's… that'stoo much,"Lucy whispers, and Tim agrees silently because he'sseenthe prices of car seats and cribs.
"I can pay you back," he murmurs, but Angela shakes her head as she reaches over and slaps him upside the head.
"No youcan not,"she snaps, hands on her hips. "Wesley isloaded,Tim. Don't eventhink about it."
Tim wants to argue, wants to growl that he can pay for his own babies, thank you very much, but he holds himself back, swallowing down his knee jerk reaction.
He knows his friends aren't doing this because they think hecan'tprovide for his family.
They're doing this because theylovehim and Lucy and the babies already. And, though he still struggles with it sometimes, he's been learning that he isworthyof that love.
"Thank you," he whispers instead.
Angela smiles, nods, and then turns back to Lucy.
"Open it!"
"Okay," Lucy says, grinning widely as a small giggle escapes her lips. She quickly removes the tissue paper, setting it to the side, and then reaches into the bag. She pulls items out one by one, cooing over the tiny sleepers, one with dogs on it that look suspiciously like Kojo, one with rainbows, and one plain yellow, followed by impossibly tiny socks and a package of pacifiers.
"That was from me," Celina says, smiling as she holds up a hand, and Bailey writes it down in the notebook as Lucy presses the tiny sleeper to her face, sighing at the softness.
"Thank you," she whispers, her eyes wet as she carefully, lovingly, folds each sleeper before returning them to the bag. Once she's set everything carefully inside, Tim takes the bag and sets it on the floor, pressing a kiss to Lucy's cheek when he stands back up.
Lucy opens a gift from Aaron next, a bag filled to the brim with newborn clothing in various neutral colors. It's all high end stuff, name brands Tim has never evenheardof, and he nearly laughs as Aaron explains each one and how their babies will be the best dressed at any event.
Tim doesn't even want to know how much all of it cost, but it's not like Aaron can't afford it.
He thanks the man, and then hands Lucy the next bag.
This one is from Grey, and it's a baby monitor system that rivals Tim's home security.
"There's a pad that goes under the crib sheet. It monitors the baby's breathing and movement, and alerts you if anything is wrong," Grey explains, smiling as he points out all of the gizmos and gadgets. "There's two monitors in there but only one home base, because it can record both babies. Let me tell you — If we'd had something like this when Dom was a baby, Luna would have sleptmuchmore soundly."
Lucy's eyes are sparkling as she studies the back of the box, and Tim knows that having this, having something that will alert them if the babies stop moving or breathing, will offer a lot of comfort during the long nights.
"Thank you," he murmurs, shaking Grey's hand firmly as Lucy carefully puts it back inside of the gift bag.
Grey nods and takes his seat again, watching the couple with a soft smile as Angela hands them the next present.
"This one is from Nyla and James," she explains, and Lucy pauses to thank the other woman before she even opens it. There are the expected sleepers, onesies, and teeny tiny little hats and socks, but there's also what looks like a top of the line breast pump.
"Pumping when you go back to work is a pain in theass,"she explains, and Angela nods solemnly as she turns to her husband, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks to Lawyer Boy over here, we have averynice fridge to store it in, but this are like thecadillacof breast pumps. They'll drain you in twenty minutes,andthey're super discreet."
Tim's cheeks turn red as he thinks about Lucy's breasts anddraining her,and he hides his expression in her hair as she turns the box over in her hands.
"Every mama needs these," Nyla finishes, nodding. "Plus there's a few hundred storage bags in there, which should get you started."
The next gift is from Nolan and Bailey, and Lucy begins crying the second she opens it.
It's a picture, and for a few seconds, Tim is confused.
"What…"
Lucy turns around and shows it to him, pointing to the note on the bottom.
Luce,
Your new rocking chair is too big to fit in this bag! Plus I'm not done staining it just yet. I'll deliver it to you when I'm finished. Every parent needs a good, solid rocking chair to rock their babies to sleep in. This baby is so lucky to have you as its mama.
Love,
Nolan & Bailey
Tim feels his own eyes watering a little bit as he stares at the solid, hand carved rocking chair Nolan had made for them, and he smiles softly as he looks up at the older cop, the man he thought was nothing more than an annoying golden retriever when he met him.
"Thanks, man," he whispers, holding out a hand.
Nolan grins (not doing much to dispel the golden retriever allegations) and shakes Tim's hand firmly.
"Of course. I made my wife one when we had Henry, and he still has it. He's said going to use it withhisfirst kid."
Lucy sniffles and wipes an arm across her eyes as she traces the outline of the chair in the photo.
"Thank you," she whispers.
Nolan comes around the island to hug her.
"I'll make a second one," he murmurs. "One for each girl, so you and Tim can both rock them."
"That's not necessary —" Tim tries to say, but Nolan shakes his head firmly.
"Iwantto, Tim," he says. "Let me. Please?"
Lucy takes Tim's hand and squeezes, and Tim sighs, giving in with a smile.
They spend the next thirty minutes opening gifts, and when the gifts run out, Angela starts handing them cards from people at the station they barely know. There's a stack of gift carts for Walmart, Target, and Amazon filling their table when she's done opening and reading them all, well over several thousand dollars for them to spend on their babies.
"We figure that will cover you for diapers and wipes for… you know, a month or so," Angela says, and Tim laughs a little hysterically as he eyes the huge pile of gift cards.
Amonth?
Surely babies don't shitthat much.
Lucy lays down the final card and then launches herself into Angela's arms, holding on tightly.
"Thank you,"she whispers, her words fierce. Angela glances up at Tim as Lucy hugs her, and he smiles as he steps forward and wraps his arm around his best friend and the love of his life. He holds them both tightly and repeats Lucy's sentiment, whispering his thanks as well.
"You're welcome," Angela says, sniffling as she pulls back. "We all wanted to pitch in and help out. We love you guys."
Tim pulls Lucy into his arms as she continues to cry, her beautiful brown eyes wet with emotion as they survey their friends.
No, theirfamily.
"Thank you for loving us so well," Lucy murmurs, smiling from where she's curled into Tim's side. "We really can't say thank you enough."
Tim presses a kiss to her hair and holds her, letting her speak for the both of them.
He's unable to put everything he's feeling into words, but in agoodway.
He's never felt this loved in his entire life, and he feels overwhelmingly thankful that his baby girls are going to be born into a family that loves so well, so completely.
Notes:
This is nothing but fluff.
FLUFFFFFFFFF.
Don't worry, drama comes back next chapter! and the fact that I am GIDDY about it is probably concerning.
Comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 38
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: Pregnancy complications
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Desk duty is boring.
And sure, she's made little games out of it and it'sexcitingto help Angela and Nyla on some of their cases, but the fact remains that she'sstuck.
She can't go outside for anything more than a quick walk becausesomeonehas the entire station watching her every move. Officers she doesn't evenknowhave offered to carry her things for her or bring her coffee or a snack, and Tim seems toknowthings even if he's not been in the building.
He's turned everyone into aspyand it'sannoying.
Today, though, she's getting a little bit of payback. She's on her phone, Angela's case already solved and the paperwork done for her on the desk next to her, and she's been googlingbizarrebaby names and sending the most random ones she can find to Tim all while acting like she's completely and utterly serious.
She knows he's losing his mind a little bit while on patrol and she'll stop the second she hears dispatch call his shop, but for right now, she's enjoying making him squirm a little bit.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
What about Gertrude? My great aunt was named Gertrude.
She absolutelydoes nothave a great aunt named Gertrude, but she knows that, if the name has a personal connection to her, Tim will give it more than two seconds of thought.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Some traditions are best left behind, babe.
Lucy snorts and bites her lip to contain her glee as she repositions in her chair, glancing up at the computer website she has pulled up before responding.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Okay, how about Helga? I saw it in the baby name book and it's cute.
She puts her phone down while she waits for a response, her eyes sparkling as she peruses the website of names she's pulled up. Not all of them are bad — Noelle and Piper are cute, she just doesn't see herself using those names. And some are just old fashioned, like Agatha and Edith.
But some of them …whonames their childJizzabelle?Andwhywould you add so many letters to your child's name that they can't spell it until they're in middle school?Brookelynneis just alittlebit much.
Her phone dings with a response from Tim and she grabs it with a little cackle, holding up a finger to pause Angela who has just walked back toward her desk.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Are you fucking with me, Luce?
Angela raises an eyebrow at the way Lucy is laughing as she watches the mother-to-be reposition on her chair again, wincing as she presses a hand to her back.
"Do I want to know?"
Lucy smirks and puts her phone down without sending a response, because Tim deserves to stew in the possibility of Helgas and Jizzabellas for a moment.
"Yes you do, because I am a hysterical genius. Tim has everyone at the station spying on me for him — don't deny it, you know it's true — so I'm getting him back. See?"
She holds up her phone for Angela to scroll through, smiling smugly as her friend glances through the increasingly bizarre text messages. She snorts when she reads Tim's last reply, and then passes Lucy her phone back.
"Brilliant. He deserves every bit of that. Hey, did you have a chance to look at that case file I dropped by?"
Lucy nods absently as she rubs her aching back —godit hurts today — and thenreaches for the file to hand to Angela while typing one-handed.
"Yep. Solved it — all the info is on the last page. I also filled out the paperwork and a warrant request and sent it to Judge Henderson because I know he has a soft spot for these types of cases."
Angela doesn't respond right away and Lucy glances up mid-text to see that she's flipping through the file, her eyes wide and her lips parted.
"Yousolved it?"
Lucy smirks.
Maybe everyone involved in giving herseventeenth fucking placeon the exam will see how capable she is and eat their own fucking shorts.
"Yeah, it wasn't that hard once I made the connection between the dad and the dealer. I didn't even have to leave my chair, so make sure you tell Tim that when he checks in on me later."
Angela rolls her eyes but doesn't deny it, and Lucy feels not even a single bit bad as she returns to her message.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
No! I love old fashioned names! I can't believe you think I'd take something like our daughters' names so lightly.
She bites her lip to keep from laughing as she puts her phone down and turns back to Angela. The movement causes the pain in her back to intensify, and she groans as she presses one hand to her belly and one to the small of her back.
Angela raises an eye. "You okay?"
Lucy nods, wincing as she stands and tries to stretch. "Yeah, just… these chairs aresouncomfortable. I've had a backache all day, it's just…oooh."
She moans, her words cut off by a sharp pain running down her belly. Her stomach feels almost hard to the touch, and she massages it as she waits for the pain to dissipate.
"Yousure?"Angela asks, dropping the file on the desk and walking closer, concern written all over her face. "Because Tim told me I have to tell himimmediatelyif something is wrong."
Lucy rolls her eyes as the pain begins to slowly fade. "Iknew it!Youarespying."
Angela doesn't dignify that with a response, just raises one eyebrow as she wraps her hand around Lucy's elbow and ducks down to meet her gaze. "Tell me what you're feeling, babe. What's wrong?"
Lucy blows out a breath and straightens up as the pain passes. She feels a little better now, her back aching less, her abdomen no longer tight and hurting.
"It feels like… I don't know how to describe it. Like everything was really tight? Like a really bad period cramp, kind of. My stomach and back hurt for a second, but… it went away. It feels okay now."
Angela hums, frowning as she considers Lucy's words.
"That sound a little bit like contractions, but you're too early. It's probably false labor – Braxton Hicks contractions. The doctors say that they're supposed to help your body prepare for labor, butnothingprepares you for the feeling of a watermelon evacuating your uterus.Nothing."
Lucy cringes in horror at the vivid picture Angela's words paint, the realization that she's going to be evictingtwowatermelons eventually causing her to shudder.
"Yeah, it's probably just—oh, fuck!"
Lucy doubles over this time, whimpering as the pain radiates from the top of her belly all the way down to the bottom. She grabs her stomach, moaning long and low as the pain ripples all the way down her inner thighs.
"Thatdid not sound like false labor," Angela says, her voice high and tinged with panic."Fuck.We need to call Tim."
Lucy shakes her head, but she can't open her mouth without screaming in pain so she doesn't even bother.
Honestly, Angela probablyshouldcall Tim.
This isn't… this can't benormal.
She overhears Angela talking in low tones to another officer and then hears her dialing, but she can't form words for several long minutes as the pain crests and then, thankfully, begins to disappear again.
Fuck.
Shecan'tbe in labor!
"It's… it's too early," she whispers.
Angela nods, her lips pressed in a tight line as the phone rings. Another detective, the one Lucy recognizes as having gotten third on the exam, comes running over, her eyes wide.
"An ambulance is on the way, ma'am!"
Angela thanks her and waves her off, hanging her phone up once she hears Tim's voicemail and then immediately dialing while reaching for Lucy's phone. She shoots off a text before handing it back, and then wraps her arm around Lucy's waist to begin escorting her toward the front. Lucy glances down at her phone, at the message Angela had just sent Tim, and then at the little italicizedreadletting her know Tim has seen it.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
SOS
He doesn't respond but hedoespick up Angela's call this time.
Lucy can't hear exactly what he's saying, but he soundsfrantic.
"Hey, Lucy is having some symptoms that seem kind of like labor," she says, and though she sounds calm, Lucy canfeelthe panic and fear lacing her words. "You need to meet us at the hospital immediately."
"Let me… let me talk to himmmmmm—"Lucy tries to say, but she's cut off when another pain shoots through her belly.
This is too fast!
Too soon!
"Tim," she whimpers, tears in her eyes as she hears the wailing of the ambulance in the distance.
Angela pulls her close, wrapping her arms around her as she helps her breathe through the pain.
"He's on his way," she promises, her words low. "He'll be with you soon, Luce."
Tim arrives right after they finish the ultrasound, his rookie trailing behind him as he bursts through the ER room doors.
"Where is she?!"
Angela bolts into the hallway to halt whatever panic-induced rage he's about to go on to find Lucy. She grabs his arm and hauls him through the trauma room doors, pushing him toward Lucy before turning back to his rookie, ushering Herndon out of the room to give them some privacy.
"Tim," Lucy whimpers, reaching for him with both hands. She has tears steadily trailing down her cheeks, her brown eyes stained with emotion. Tim reaches for her and pulls her into his arms, hugging her close as one of his large hands cups their babies between them.
"Hey, baby," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead when he pulls back far enough to see her face. "Hey, Luce. Are you okay? I'm here now."
Lucy shakes her head, sniffling as she wipes a shaking hand across her face.
She'snot okay.
How could shepossiblybe okay?
"It's too early," she whimpers, and Tim nods as he blinks back tears of his own.
She's 23 weekstoday.
Justbarelypast the age of viability.
If she'd given birth to her babies yesterday, most doctors would have put them on comfort care and declined intensive intervention.
Today, theymighthave a chance.
"I c-can't…" she begins, but she doesn't even know what she can't do. She trails off, a fresh round of sobs breaking free from her throat, and then buries her face in Tim's chest as he holds her awkwardly, her body contorted to be as close to him as possible despite the fact that she's in a hospital bed and hooked up to a million monitors.
There's a knock on the door only moments later, and Lucy glances up, blinking rapidly to clear her vision.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Chen. I'm Dr. Janice and I'm going to be sending you up to labor and delivery as quickly as possible. Based on your exam, youaredilated a little bit, but because you're only 23 weeks gestation, we're going to do everything we can to stop any more forward motion. I'm going to hand you over to the experts, okay? Dr. Fowler is fantastic; you'll be in the best hands possible. He'll meet you up there."
Lucy nods tearfully, glancing up at Tim as a two nurses enter the room and begin disconnecting her from the monitors. Tim nods and grabs her hand in his, holding it tightly.
He's not goinganywhere.
They make it up to Labor and Delivery in record time.
Dr. Fowler is waiting at the elevator doors, and he immediately begins quizzing the nurses and Lucy about her symptoms when the doors open.
"We did an exam downstairs," one of the nurses says, pulling her iPad from where she'd stashed it behind Lucy's pillow and opening it up. "She's 2 centimeters dilated and having intermittent pain but she's not in active labor. Ultrasound showed that she's not lost any amniotic fluid and both fetuses are stable."
Dr. Fowler nods, holding up a hand to pause the nurses and turning to address Lucy as they stop in the middle of the hallway.
"I know this is all happening really fast, sweetheart," he murmurs, and Lucy nods, fresh tears filling her eyes as the older man smiles softly at her. "But we need to do what we can to help you keep these little ones inside as long as possible, okay? I'm recommending an emergency cerclage. It seems you have what's called Cervical Insufficiency. The pain you're feeling is likely your cervix opening. Not everyone has pain with it, but it's actually lucky you did. It helped you get in here as quickly as possible."
Lucy nods, gripping Tim's hand more tightly as she listens to intently to the doctor's words.
"Can you … can you help my babies?" she whispers, her words soft and her tonescared.
She'sterrifiedfor her baby girls.
"Yes, I believe I can," Dr. Fowler murmurs, nodding. "I want to do what's called an emergency cerclage. It's a quick, surgical procedure to stitch your cervix closed. It's not always recommended with twin pregnancies, but I believe in this case the benefit greatly outweighs the risk as your babies are too small to survive. Most cerclages can delay preterm birth by 5 or 6 weeks, which would push you right up to 30 weeks. Does that sound good?"
Lucy nods quickly, glancing up at Tim to see that he's nodding, too, his blue eyes wide and wet.
30 weeks.
5 to 6 more weeks for her babies to grow big and strong.
"Yes," she whispers, nodding quickly. "Yes, please, do it."
Dr. Fowler smiles and nods, moving to take over for the nurses as they push her bed through the hallways.
"We'll get your signature on all of the forms as we prep you for surgery. We don't want to delay any longer. Daddy, you have to wait here."
Lucy glances up, her eyes widening when she realizes that they've stopped outside of a set of double doors. Tim is still standing beside her, his fingers wrapped tightly around hers, and she feels a wave of panic wash over her when she realizes thatTim can't come with her.
"Tim," she breathes, but he shakes his head as he swallows and forces a small smile onto his face.
It doesn't reach his eyes, and Lucy knows he's just as scared as she is.
"Hey, baby, it's okay," he whispers, dropping her hand so that he can reach down and kiss her. He presses his lips to hers, and then to her cheek and her forehead, closing his eyes as he breathes her in. "I'll be right here waiting, okay? Everything is going to be fine."
Lucy nods, sucking in a desperate breath as Dr. Fowler and the nurses begin pushing her bed through the doors.
"Tim!" she cries out, glancing back, tears staining her vision once again. "I love you!"
"I love you, too!" he cries out, and despite the smile he's trying to hold onto, Lucy can see the utter, overwhelmingpanicin his eyes as the double doors shut behind her, cutting her off from his view.
Notes:
I'm so sorry!
Kudos and comments make me write faster!
Chapter 39
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
The forty seven minutes they have Lucy behind thosedamn doorsfeels like an eternity, and Tim spends every single second of it worried that he's going to lose his baby girls or, worse, his baby girlsandthe love of his life.
He thinks he'd survive losing his babies,somehow.He'd pick the pieces up eventually and move on, though he'd never forget them.
But he doesn't think he'd survive losingLucy.
It takes him less than five minutes to work himself into a proper panic.
He can see the nurse behind the desk in labor and delivery eyeing him warily so he tries sitting down, but less than thirty seconds later his knee is bouncing nervously and he's barely able to contain his agitation. He runs his fingers through his hair, messing up the carefully styled locks as he glances through the waiting room.
He's not the only one here, but heisthe only one in this shape, and he wonders how anyone canrelaxordrink coffeeortalk to their friendswhile their loved one is in surgery or in labor.
"Fuck!" he cries, startling the occupants of the room as he stands to his feet and resumes his pacing.
He thinks, if it weren't for Angela, he might have gotten himself kicked out.
"Hey."
Her voice pulls him from the pit of anxiety he's fallen into, and he startles as she touches his arm. She's no longer wearing her badge, and Tim knows she's taken off the rest of the day to be with him and Lucy.
Fear and gratitude make his throat swell with emotion, and he turns to her, tears in his eyes as she guides him back into his chair.
"How is she doing?"
Tim blows out a breath, and when Angela sees that he's not quite ready to talk, fills the silence herself.
"I took Herndon back to the station and planted him at the front desk. You know, I'm going to have to start charging you a Boot Handling Fee — this is thesecondtime I've wrangled one of your Boots after you've abandoned them."
Tim huffs out a breath of amusement but doesn't respond.
"Grey says you have today and tomorrow off, and if you need more, just let him know. Herndon will go back with Wrigley or, worst case, handle the front desk for the foreseeable future. Grey says not to worry about him."
Tim nods and continues breathing in and out slowly, bringing his heart rate and respiration down as he listens to Angela ramble.
He finally manages to speak around the time she veers onto the topic of Lucy solving her case for her, and he sighs as he sits back, letting his head thump against the wall.
"She was two centimeters dilated," he whispers, though he knows Angela knows this. She was in the ER with Lucy, after all. "Dr. Fowler told her that… that she needed emergency surgery. A … a cerclage, I think? He's going to sew her cervix shut to keep the babies inside."
Angela makes a sympathetic noise and reaches over to grab his hand. Tim holds on tightly, her touch the only thing grounding him.
"He said it could keep the babies in for another five or… or six weeks. That would be good, right?"
Angela hums and nods, wrapping her other arm around Tim's back. He's still in uniform and he knows he's going to have to ask her to take his duty belt back to the station and bring him his go-bag eventually, but he doesn't want her to leave just yet.
"That would bereallygood, Tim. That would get her to 28 or 29 weeks, which means the babies would besmallbut they'd probably be just fine. I did alotof research when I was pregnant with Jack and Emmy because youknowI like to know the worst case scenario, and if I remember correctly at 28 weeks baby is about 2 and a half pounds and by 29 weeks they can be up to three pounds. That'sreallygood."
It still sounds impossibly small to Tim (and he knows that Baby B is going to be even smaller) but Angela says it like it's a positive thing.
He's not convinced, though, but because his best friend knows him so well, she pulls her arm back to reach for her phone. She types quickly and then presses it into his hands, and he sucks in a breath as he reads the information once and then again, and finally a third time before he comprehends it.
"Ninety-percent of babies born at 29 weeks survive," she murmurs, rubbing Tim's back. "I know this is scary, but if it's what Lucy needs to keep those little girls cooking longer, it's agood thing."
Tim nods slowly, unable to speak again as his throat swells with emotion.
He drops his head to Angela's shoulder, and he lets her hold him as they wait.
Dr. Fowler walks out of the double doors forty seven minutes and thirty two seconds after he takes Lucy away, and Tim nearly jumps out of his chair, his heart pounding as he hurries toward the doctor.
"Family of Lucy Chen?"
Tim nods, swallowing. "I'm her… boyfriend. The father. Tim Bradford."
Dr. Fowler nods, a small smile of recognition stretching his lips as he consults his iPad quickly.
"All right, Mr. Bradford."
"Sergeant," Tim interrupts, then nearly slaps himself because that issonot important right now. It's just a knee jerk reaction.
Angela comes to stand by his side and takes his hand as they wait.
"The procedure went perfectly and Ms. Chen is now resting. We're going to do a repeat ultrasound and exam to make sure everything is in good shape when she wakes up, but you may want to go ahead and prepare for an extended stay with us. We're going to keep her for a few days at the very least, and possibly as long as the remainder of her pregnancy depending on how she does."
Angela squeezes Tim's hand before dropping it.
"I can go pack her a bag," she murmurs, rubbing Tim's arm. "And one for you, too. I've been in the hospital a couple of times; I know what she'll want. Do you have a key?"
Tim nods wordlessly and takes it off of his key ring, pressing it into her hand.
"Everything is a little messy. We haven't finished unpacking," he whispers, but Angela just shrugs.
"Mess is mylife,Tim. I'll be fine."
Tim thanks her and she heads out after giving him a final hug, and then Dr. Fowler holds open the door to the Labor and Delivery ward. Tim follows him through it, his heart in his throat as they walk toward Lucy's room together. The ward is brightly colored and he can hear babies crying and women screaming, and he winces as he walks into the room Lucy is set up in.
"Oh, Luce," he murmurs, and he feels tears in his eyes as he hurries toward her bedside, taking her hand in his. He presses his lips to her knuckles, falling into one of the chairs beside her bed as Dr. Fowler pauses to check her vitals.
"She's handled the procedure like a champ," he reassures Tim, pressing a hand on his shoulder and offering him a small, encouraging smile. "When she wakes up we'll repeat all those tests. Just press that button there when she starts coming to, okay?"
Tim nods and settles in, prepared to wait as long as it takes.
"There's Baby A," Dr. Fowler murmurs, pointing to the screen.
Tim is still by Lucy's bed, holding her hand tightly as they both watch the screen with great trepidation. The physical exam had gone perfectly and Dr. Fowler had declared the procedure a success, and now they're waiting with baited breath to see how their girls are doing.
"She's not moving," Lucy whispers.
Dr. Fowler smiles and shakes his head. "Not to worry, she's likely just experiencing some sedation from the general anesthesia. If it affects mom, it affects the baby, too. She'll be up and moving in no time, and while her heart rate is a little bit slower than we'd like to see, it's strong."
Tim swallows and presses his lips to Lucy's knuckles, glancing at her quickly before staring at the screen again. Dr. Fowler is taking measurements, murmuring quietly to the nurse beside him so that she can input them into Lucy's chart.
"Baby A is measuring right on track," he announces with a smile. "12 inches long, estimated one pound, two ounces."
Tim sucks in a breath through his teeth, his eyes fluttering closed as he thinks about the fact that, if Lucy had delivered,bothof their girls would have been too small to survive.
"And Baby B?" Lucy asks.
Dr. Fowler hums as he searches. Tim watches the screen raptly, not really understanding what's going on but unable to breathe until he sees it flicker before the image of his second little girl fills the screen. She's moving a little bit, unlike Baby A, and Tim finds himself smiling as he glances over at Lucy.
"Heart rate is up to 130, Baby B is more awake than Baby A. She's afiestyone," Dr. Fowler confirms, winking at them as he begins taking measurements. "About eight inches long, estimated 12 ounces."
Lucy's sob breaks Tim from his thoughts, and he glances over at her, his heart thumping heavily in his chest as he stands and cups her cheek.
"What's wrong, baby?" he murmurs, his voice low and concerned.
Lucy reaches up to cover Tim's hand with her own, turning her face into his palm as she cries.
"They're t-too small," she whimpers, rubbing her belly with her free hand. "If they're born now, they'll…"
Die.
They'll die, Tim knows.
"They're not going to be born today, Ms. Chen," Dr. Fowler comforts her, handing Tim a wipe to clean the gel off of her stomach as he shuts off the ultrasound. "Your procedure was a success. Now all we have to do is concentrate on keeping them right where they are. Every single day we keep them inside gives them a better chance. Ouridealgoal is to keep them right where they are until thirty-four weeks, but arealisticgoal is probably twenty-seven to twenty-eight weeks. You should start mentally preparing for a NICU stay, but… I'm cautiously optimistic."
Tim nods, pressing his lips to Lucy's forehead before turning back toward the doctor, knowing that he's going to have to be the one to ask the questions. Lucy is still tired and sluggish from the anesthesia and, though he can barely fathom it, has had a much harder day than he has.
"What can we do to help?" he asks.
Dr. Fowler leans against the railing of Lucy's bed and scrolls through his iPad.
"We're going to start Lucy on corticosteroids just in case, to help strength the babies lungs. We're going to do everything we can to make sure these little girls make it here strong and fighting. We're going to keep you on continuous monitoring to make sure the cerclage is holding, but if youdogo into premature labor, I want you to know that we have one of the best NICUs in the country here. Your little girls will bewelltaken care of."
"And… and am I going to be staying here?" Lucy asks, sniffling as Tim helps her sit up in bed. He slides in behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, cupping her belly in his hands as he rests his chin on her head.
"For now," Dr. Fowler confirms, nodding. "If you're doing well after we monitor you for a few days, we'll discharge you home on complete bed rest. And that meanscomplete,Lucy. You do not get up unless it's to pee or to shower, and even then, I want someone with you. You are medicallyrequiredto let Tim pamper you, do you hear me?"
Tim chuckles as Lucy nods.
He knows bed rest will drive her absolutelycrazy,but he also knows she'll do it without a second thought if it's what's best for their girls.
"Yes, sir," she whispers, cracking a small smile for the first time since she'd first felt the pain in her belly this morning.
Tim kisses her hair and then turns back toward the doctor.
"What… what do we do if she goes into labor again?"
Dr. Fowler tucks his iPad under his arm and sighs. "We'll go over all of the warning signs in more detail before you leave, because if you go into labor while the cerclage is in, we consider that a medical emergency and the stitches must be removedimmediately.Some of the signs are continuous lower back pain, bleeding or spotting, cramping and pressure. My rule is, when in doubt, check it out."
Tim can see Lucy mouthing the warning signs, likely trying to commit them to memory.
"Thanks, doc."
Dr. Fowler nods. "I'll let you rest for now. Nurses will be in and out to monitor you and the babies," he says. "If you have any questions or concerns, press the red button."
Lucy nods and thanks him, and Tim sighs as they're finally left alone for the first time since she'd woken up.
"You okay?" Lucy asks, and Tim laughs hysterically as he presses his lips to her hair.
"AmIokay?" he asks, his voice high and disbelieving. "Lucy,youare the one who just had surgery.I'mfine. Areyouokay?"
Lucy chuckles softly as she rubs her hands over his where they're cupping her belly. She turns to smile at him and Tim catches her lips, kissing her softly as he repositions them to where she's more comfortable.
"I am now."
Notes:
This is going to be a bit of a bumpy ride, but Chenford has each other! Never fear!
Also, side note: HOLY MOTHER-FORKING SHIRTBALLS. Almost 5,000 kudos? I love you guys and the support for this fic more than I can ever say!
Comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 40
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
"Well, Ms. Chen, I think we're going to be sending you home today!"
Lucy startles, her eyes cutting from the ultrasound machine to Dr. Fowler, her heart suddenly thumping so heavily in her chest that she feels lightheaded.
Home?
Withoutdoctors surrounding her?
Home?
Without the constant heartbeat checks to make sure her babies are okay?
Home?
Without someone doing pelvic exams to make sure she isn't dilating again?
"W-what?" she whispers, her voice high and panicked. She turns to see Tim is in much the same state she is, his eyes large and worried as he processes the doctor's words. She can see thefearpainted across his expression, even though she knows no one else would notice, and her heart aches for the worry she's causing him. "I… I don't want to go home," she whispers.
Dr. Fowler smiles softly, chuckling as he begins moving the wand around on her belly.
"I know being here gives you a sense of safety, Ms. Chen, but you've been astellar 're not dilating, there are no signs of labor, and your babies are doing great. Both girls have grown this week, and they have strong heartbeats. I feel confident sending you home. I wouldn't discharge you if I weren'tcertain,Lucy, I promise."
Lucy swallows past the lump in her throat as she rubs the top of her belly, careful to avoid the ultrasound gel and the wand that Dr. Fowler is still moving across her stomach.
"What if something happens, though?"
Tim squeezes her free hand more tightly, listening raptly as Dr. Fowler explains.
"We've gone over the warning signs, right? Tell me what to look out for, Lucy. You know this. Be confident in yourself."
Lucy blows out a breath and goes through the mental list she's had memorized for days. "Bleeding, spotting, cramping, lower back pain, and pressure. If I feel any of those, I'm to come in to get checked out no matter how slight it is."
"And you promise you'll tell Tim or call 911 if you haveanysymptoms at all?" Dr. Fowler checks.
Lucy throws Tim a glare when he chuckles; he apparently thinks it'samusingthat every single nurse and doctor had caught onto her stubbornness right away.
"Yes,"she promises, rolling her eyes as Tim leans down to kiss her forehead. "I won't take any chances with my babies. When in doubt, check it out."
"Then you're ready," Dr. Fowler proclaims. He smiles at the worried parents-to-be as he finishes making notes in her chart, and then flicks the ultrasound machine off. "Baby A is twelve and a half inches and has an estimated weight of one pound, four ounces. Baby B is nine and a half inches, estimated weight of fourteen ounces. Remember, everyday we keep them inside improves their chances. So, when I saycomplete bed rest —"
Lucy grimaces as she wipes the gel off of her stomach and then sits up with Tim's help. "I know, I know — I don't get up unless it's to pee or shower, and you want someone with me even then."
Dr. Fowler laughs. "Good girl. I think you're going to do just fine. Just to be safe, though, we're going to schedule weekly check-ins. You'll come see me and I'll check on those stitches, make sure they're staying where they need to, and we'll get updated weights on those little girls. Keep eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, and put Tim to work. You're growing the babies, here — he can set up the nursery and prewash a million tiny outfits. Do not, no matter how much you want to,do it all by yourself."
Lucy grimaces as she imagines spending the next (hopefully) four to six weeks laying in her bed, unable to doanything.
"I promise," she whispers, because as much as she knows she'llhate it,it's what's best for her babies.
Dr. Fowler offers them a final smile as he finishes charting and clicks his iPad off.
"All right, then. Nurse Amy will be in soon with discharge instructions, and then you'll be on your way."
He leaves the room and Tim slumps against Lucy, blowing out a breath that ruffles her hair. Lucy turns and presses her lips to the underside of his chin, tugging on their clasped hands until he joins her in the bed.
She knows he's worried, but she is, too.
She doesn't know what to say to calm his nerves, so instead, she just lays her head on his chest and revels in the comfort his closeness brings.
"No, a little to the left… a little bit more…perfect."
Lucy pops a strawberry in her mouth and chews slowly as she watches Nolan and Tim make marks on the wall to mount the TV. She's never had a TV in her bedroom before, but since reading and binge watching her favorite shows are going to be some of the only things she can do for the foreseeable future, they'd decided to move the one from her apartment into their room. It's the smaller of the two; the big TV from Tim's house will stay in the living room.
"Let me just get the screw gun, be right back," Tim murmurs. Nolan nods as he begins separating the pieces for the wall mount, and Lucy sighs as she slumps back against her pillows.
"This is torture for you, isn't it?" Nolan asks.
Lucy groans loudly and flops her arms on either side of her.
"Yes!"
Nolan's laugh is soon joined by a more feminine one, and Lucy turns as Angela enters the room with a freshly washed basket of baby girl clothes.
"Emmy has already outgrownallof her newborn, 0-3 month,and3-6 month clothes," she says, dropping down on the bed by Lucy's feet and putting the basket between them. "I know your girls will likely be in preemie for a while, but once they are able to wear these, they should beset.Wesley's mom goes…wayoverboard with baby clothes, and the firstgirlgrandchild?Woof.We haveat leasta hundred outfits just in newborn alone. This loadandthe next one are just newborn size."
Lucy scoots forward a little bit, piling pillows behind her so that she's comfortable as she reaches for one of the little outfits.
It seems impossibly tiny — but she knows her babies are going to be even smaller.
"We need to go shopping for preemie stuff," she murmurs, folding the first onesie. It's an off white one, covered in little daisies. The one under it is a beautiful coral pink color, and the next one bright yellow.
Angela hums as she begins making separate stacks of onesies, sleepers, swaddles, and impossibly tiny socks.
"We can go online shopping as soon as we're done folding this stuff," she says, winking. "The boys can do all the heavy lifting. Speaking of which, Wesley will be here with the fridge soon."
Lucy raises an eyebrow.
"Fridge?"
Tim enters the room with the toolbox, smiling when he sees Lucy surrounded by the teeny tiny baby clothes.
"Tim sent him to buy a mini fridge for your bedside. Water, snacks, juice — it needs to be on hand so you can eat when you're hungry in case Tim is at work. Plus, you can use it when you're pumping after they're born. It'sso niceto just be able to put the milk in the fridge, the baby in the bassinet, and then go back to sleep."
Tim leans over and presses a kiss to Lucy's cheek before moving to join Nolan.
"Remember, Dr. Fowler said that you're medicallyrequiredto let me pamper you," he says.
Lucy rolls her eyes but can't help the smile that pulls at her lips.
She feels coddled andloved,and while it would normally drive her crazy, she's kind of… enjoying it. She knows she can't do the things she'd normally do, and while part of her is already screaming with the inactivity, she knows she'd go on bedrest foryearsif it meant her girls would be okay.
"Speakingof Tim being at work," Nolan says, his voice muffled around the screws he's holding between his teeth. "When are you taking your paternity leave?"
Tim doesn't answer right away, the noise of the screw gun too loud to hear him over. He pauses after the second screw, though, biting his lip as he considers his response.
"I kind of want to start itnow,"he says, but Lucy quickly shakes her head.
"Oh,hell no,"she says. Angela has to press a hand over her mouth to contain her laughter as Lucy sits up, the onesie in her hand forgotten. "You'll drive mecrazy,Tim, with the hovering and coddling. I love it, don't get me wrong — I feelsoloved and cared for. But Icannothandle it 24/7. Plus, Grey needs the TOs. He doesn't have enough without having to throwSmittyin the mix, and no one wants that."
Tim frowns as he finishes placing the next two screws.
"I want to be here for you, though," he mumbles, his tone grumpy.
Lucy sighs as she folds the itty bitty pair of overalls in her hands and places them on the bed beside her.
"I know, babe, and I love that you want to. But youhover.I can handle laying in bed without help, I promise."
Tim's frown deepens.
"What if you have to go to the bathroom? Dr. Fowler said he wanted someone here with you to help you."
"We can take turns," Angela offers, shrugging. "There are enough of us that we can check on her throughout the day and help as needed. Plus, youknowyou're going to make like Wrigley and start dropping your rookie off at the diner so you can come home and bug Lucy on your lunch break."
Tim doesn't deny it and Lucy feels a rush of love for him.
She wants to get up and hug him, to reassure him that she understands his worries and that they're valid, but that she can take care of herself.
"How about this," she offers, and she watches as Tim perks up a little bit, his eyes on the mount he's putting up but hisattentionon her. "You stay for four more weeks to get the rookies to their six month exam. By then, Celina will be done with her training and Nolan can take Herndon so he doesn't have to go back to Wrigley."
Tim sighs but doesn't immediately disagree. Lucy knows he can see the logic in her words, as much as he hates it.
"All right," he finally concedes, nodding as he turns to pick up the TV. Nolan helps him settle it on the mount, and they're all quiet for a few moments as they get it screwed in tightly. Once it's stable, Tim plugs it in and repositions it so Lucy has the best view. "Four more weeks,unlesssomething happens before then."
Lucy nods. "I accept the compromise."
Angela chuckles as she finishes folding the last tiny outfit, a little ruffled sleeper with a matching bow.
"Enjoy your last few weeks, babe. You're going to miss it," Lucy murmurs, wincing as she repositions on the bed now that all of the baby clothes are folded. "Who knows how long you'll be home."
They haven't talked much more about Tim being the one to stay home with the babies after her maternity leave, but she can't imagine he's changed his mind. Plus, with the babies most likely spending their first few weeks or months in the NICU, she doesn't even know how longshe'llbe out.
She bites her lip as she considers.
They're going to need to do some creative financial maneuvering, she thinks, with the hospital bills she knows are coming. And they're only going to get bigger when the babies come and require so much intensive care. They're going to beenormous,probably more than the sale of Tim's house would even cover.
It's a problem for another day, she knows, but she feels the little pit of worry in her stomach grow as she watches Tim and Nolan finish up with the TV.
Having this much time on her hands to think and worry, she muses, is not going to be a good thing.
Later that night, after everyone as gone home and Tim has helped Lucy take a nice, hot shower, they crawl into bed together.
Lucy sighs and curls up close to Tim in a way she hadn't been able to do in the hospital. He'd slept by her side each night, of course, but the bed was small and uncomfortable. Here, athome,their bed is huge and she can surround herself with a million pillowsandcuddle her boyfriend.
Tim chuckles as he kisses her hair and wraps his arms more tightly around her. One settles on her belly while the other plays with her hair, and Lucy sighs as she melts into him a little bit, warm and comfortable andcontent.
"We'll figure it out, you know," Tim murmurs. Lucy makes a little noise to indicate she's listening, and he continues, "My leave from work. Your maternity leave. The money — it'll all work itself out."
"Plus we're going to be in debt for the rest of our lives because of this pregnancy, anyway," Lucy murmurs, her voice muffled by Tim's t-shirt. "We may as well just make the minimum payments and not worry about it."
Tim chuckles as he traces little patterns on her stomach.
Letters,she thinks, and she wonders if he's thinking of names for their little girls.
"The sale of the house should give us plenty of savings to work with while we're both out," he murmurs. "We won't worry about the hospital bills for now. They're just going to keep growing, so I say let 'em. They'll get paid when they get paid, and if they don't like it, oh well."
Lucy giggles as Tim dips his fingers into her belly button.
"That's what I was thinking," she murmurs, her own hands running up and down Tim's back, her fingers tracing his spine and then moving around to his stomach and dancing across his abs.
"It'll all be okay," he whispers, and Lucy nods as he flattens his hand on her belly.
They both fall into a comfortable silence, and Lucy is just beginning to doze off when she feels Tim startle.
"Oh!"he whispers, and she makes a noise of confusion as she pulls her head from his chest and meets his gaze. He's grinning ear to ear, his blue eyes wide and wet with emotion as he presses his hand harder against her stomach.
"What?" she murmurs.
A single tear slips down his cheek as he caresses the taut skin.
"Was that… was thatthe babies?"
"I… I'm not sure," she admits, her voice low and sleepy. "I was kind of dozing off."
She presses her own hand beside Tim's, barely breathing as they wait for the next movement.
She doesn't have to wait long before one of the babies is kicking her, and it'sweirdto feel the movement from both the inside and the outside. She hears Tim laugh, his voice high and light, and then he's scooting down the bed, pressing his lips to her belly.
"Hey, baby," he whispers, entwining his fingers with hers before pressing them over the same spot, hoping to feel another movement. "I'm your daddy. Hi in there. Can you high five me again?"
There's another movement under his hand and they both laugh softly.
"It could have been a foot, you know," Lucy murmurs, but Tim just shrugs.
"I don't care. It'samazing,"he whispers, poking at her belly to get it to happen again. "I wonder which one it is?"
Lucy hums as her eyelids become heavy once again. "Probably Baby B. She's a little spitfire."
"My fierce little girl," Tim whispers, and Lucy smiles, pressing herself closer to him as he kisses and caresses her belly, waiting eagerly for each little movement. She can feel her eyes beginning to slip closed, but she forces herself to stay awake as long as she can so that she can listen to Tim whisper to their babies, his voice soft and deep and beautiful.
She falls asleep between one word and the next, and dreams of walking along the beach,bothof her little girls swinging between her and Tim in the sunlight.
Notes:
Flufffffff. I hope you enjoyed it! Leave me a little comment to let me know what you thought!
Chapter 41
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Riding with Herndon is completely different than with Janes but somehowjustas frustrating.
Tim is thankful, at least, that this rookie isn't an HR violation waiting to happen, but he's slower and less confident than Janes had been and it's annoying that he can't decide which incompetence he'd rather deal with.
Herndon second guesses himself and always looks to Tim for reassurance, and he supposes he should have expected as much out of someone who couldn't legally drink six months ago, but he had hoped that the Academy would have beat it out of him or, at the very least, the last two weeks riding withhim.
"Is that right… sir?"
Tim sighs and represses the urge to beat his head against the steering wheel.
He counts to ten slowly in his head, and then back down to zero when he glances over and sees his rookie staring at him with giant, wide cartoon eyes.
"Officer Herndon," he says slowly, gripping the steering wheel as he stares straight ahead. "What did I tell you about second guessing yourself?"
Herndon swallows and Tim grimaces at the hurt that flashes in his eyes.
"You told me that if I have to ask, I'm probably wrong."
Tim nods once, tersely.
Herndon blows out a breath and glances out the window.
"So, try again," Tim says, his voice firm as he leans back in his seat. "Tell me the procedure before we step out of this car and approach the man we just pulled over."
As Herndon purses his lips and thinks, Tim begins planning the conversation he's going to have with Grey about both the Academy and Officer Wrigley.
Herndon is almost four months onto the job and no more ready for the streets than he had been on day one.
"There are seven steps to pulling someone over," Herndon finally begins, and Tim nods as he turns to his rookie. "Number one, greeting and identification. Second, statement of violation committed. Third, identification of driver and check of conditions of violator and vehicle. Four, statement of action to be taken. Five, take action stated. Six, explain what the violator must do. Seven, leave."
Tim nods once, confirming that Herndon is correct. "Most traffic stops are simple and routine, as I'm sure you discovered while riding with Wrigley. But sometimes they can go sideways. Always pay attention and use your cop eyes. If something seems off, it probably is."
Herndon swallows and nods, and then reaches for his door handle at the same time as Tim. Tim climbs out of the shop, closes his door, and takes a brief second to roll his eyes and make the face he's wanted to make for the past twenty minutes before moving to the front of the shop and nodding at Herndon.
He's not ready to let the rookie take the lead yet, so he steps up to the driver's side door of the vehicle and smiles at the teenager inside.
The stop takes less than ten minutes, and Tim sighs as he climbs back into the shop and turns it on.
"See? Routine. Kid just got his license and went for a little joyride fifteen miles over the speed limit, which you should know all about seeing as you just got your license last week."
Herndon squeaks in indignation but Tim ignores him in favor of turning toward his suddenly ringing phone.
Lucy.
A bolt of panic flashes through him as he reaches for it, tapping on it to answer and then pressing it to his ear.
"Hey, Luce. What's up?"
His heart doesn't calm until he hears Lucy's voice, calm and collected (if a little bored) in his ear.
(He always worries that it's going to be bad news when she calls, but so far, the babies have stayed exactly where they should.)
"I'm huuuuungry,"she complains, and Tim laughs as he leans back in his seat, ignoring Herndon's probing looks as they sit on the side of the road, lights still on from their traffic stop.
"Do you have any snacks left in your little fridge?"
He always makes sure to stock it for her before work, but her hunger levels are unpredictable. Some days she eats all of her snacks by noon, and other days she doesn't eat anything until he comes home and makes her.
"Yes, but I don'twantthose snacks."
Tim chuckles despite himself, completely besotted.
"What do you want, babe?"
Lucy hums as she considers, and Tim waits, smiling as he imagines her in their bed, wearing his sweats and t-shirt (the only things that fit her right now, considering she refuses to shop for maternity clothes) and rubbing her belly. He imagines she's riling their girls up, rubbing their little feet when they kick her, and he knows he promised her to stay on for another four weeks but all he wants to do is go home and crawl into bed with her.
"I want a veggie burger. Ooooh, with extra pickles! Can you bring me one home after work?"
Tim chuckles and glances at the clock.
11:32am.
God, he still has almost seven hours left in his shift.
"Of course," he murmurs, though he's already formulating a plan to bring her one forlunch.Unless there's an emergency he should be able to swing it, but LA is unpredictable and he doesn't want to get her hopes up. "Fries?"
"Yes, please, with some of their ranch dip! It's not the same as the stuff you buy at the store, Tim."
It absolutelyis,but there's no way Tim is going to argue with her.
"Okay, Luce. I can do that. Anything else?"
"Tell your daughter to get off of my bladder."
Tim's laugh startles Herndon.
He wants to request that Lucy put the phone to her belly so he can tell their daughter exactly that, but a glance over at his rookie's curious face stops him.
"Sorry, Luce. Remember to take your phone if you go to the bathroom, though, okay? No one's there today, so—"
"I know, Tim, just in case something happens. I know the drill. I'll even text you when I'm back in bed, if you want."
Tim blows out a breath as he smiles, biting back a small chuckle. "Yes, please. So, veggie burger with extra pickles, fries and ranch. Have a snack in the meantime, though. You need to eat."
Lucy grumbles but acquiesce, and Tim sighs as he glances over at Herndon again.
"We gotta go, babe," he murmurs. "Sorry."
"It's okay. Be safe, please."
"Absolutely. Love you."
"Love you, too."
He hangs up the phone and slides it back into his pocket, and then turns the shop on and pulls out into the street without saying a word.
He can practicallyfeelHerndon's curiosity, though, so he sighs as he flicks the lights off and merges back into traffic. "That was my girlfriend and that's all you need to know. You need to focus on your training and not my personal life if you're going to make it to your six month exam without me washing you out."
Herndon nods, turning to stare straight ahead.
"Yes, sir!"
Tim groans and rolls his eyes as he flicks the blinker on, already heading in the direction of Lucy's favorite burger place.
It's going to be a long two weeks before he can finally go on paternity leave and be with her and the babies.
Tim's plans to surprise Lucy with a veggie burger and fries for lunch goes spectacularly sideways when they make a traffic stop less than three miles from the house, her burger sitting innocently in the space between the two seats.
He and Herndon climb out of the shop together, and Tim lets the rookie lead on the way to the driver's side door of the truck.
"Your lead, Boot," he says, and though Herndon looksnervoushe can't stop smiling as he approaches.
Tim stands a few steps behind him, observing.
"Good afternoon, sir," Herndon greets, and Tim nods, mentally checking steps off the list as Herndon holds up his badge to identify himself. "Do you know why we pulled you over?"
The man behind the wheel glares and rolls his eyes, and Tim winces.
Probably not thebesttraffic stop to finally let Herndon lead on, considering this man looks like he weighs more than the truck itself.
"No, cause I wasn't doing anythingwrong,you little bitch."
Herndon swallows and glances back at Tim.
Tim takes a step forward but doesn't take over yet, nodding for Herndon to continue.
He's going to have to learn to deal with the less pleasant side of LA eventually if he's going to make it as a cop.
"Um, sir," Herndon continues, his hand falling to his duty belt as he motions toward the back of the truck. "Your temporary license plate expired eight months ago. You are required by law to register and insure a new vehicle purchase within 30 days, so..."
The man spits out the window and Tim drops his hand to his stun gun, just in case.
"Registration is just a damnscam," he snaps, his eyes flashing angrily. "A money making scheme so corrupt pieces of shit like you can line their pockets. I alreadyboughtthe damn truck, I'm not spending four thousand fucking dollars toregisterit."
Herndon turns back to Tim again, his eyes wide and full of trepidation.
"Sir," Tim says, sighing as he steps forward to take over the stop. "You are legally required to register your vehicle. I don't make the rules but I do have to enforce them. So, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to write you a ticket, but if you register your truck within the next 48 hours and bring it and proof of registration to the courthouse, the fee will be waived."
The man drops hand from the steering wheel and Herndon gasps, standing back as the truck door swings open and he jumps down.
Tim groans.
This is not going to go well.
Lucy's burger is gettingcold,damn it.
He just wants to go home and have lunch with his girlfriend.
"Sir, please step back in your vehicle," he requests, though he knows before he even speaks that The Hulk here isn't going to listen to him.
He lays his hand on the butt of his stun gun as he speaks, just in case, taking a step back to let the monster of a man unfurl to his full height. He's taller than Tim by a good bit, his arms as thick as milk jugs, and as Tim watches him cross his arms over his chest and glare down at them, he finds himself having flashbacks to The Hammer.
Shit.
"I said, I'm notdoing that,"he growls, and Tim groans internally, mentally preparing for the way he's going to have to wrestle Godzilla to get him in cuffs.
"Sir, you can either step back inside of your vehicle and accept the ticket I'm about to write you, or we can do this the hard way and I can bring you down to the station."
The man steps forward, uncurling his arms from his chest, and Tim groans.
Well,fuck.
Less than twenty minutes later, The Hulk is sitting in the back of his shop cussing up a blue streak while he sits on the back of an ambulance, holding an ice pack to his head.
Herndon is flitting around him, eyes wide and hands shaking, opening and closing his mouth as if he wants to say something but he either doesn't knowwhatto say orhowto say it.
Tim doesn't care.
His only concern is that Lucy's burger isdefinitelycold by now, and he'sdefinitelynot going to be able to drop it by the house for lunch.
Bailey appears from the side of the ambulance, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"So can I go now?" he asks, though he knows before the words are out of his mouth that the answer is a firm, resoundingno.
"You hit your head, Tim.Hard,"Bailey says, sighing as she peels the ice pack off and then grimaces at the no doubt impressive shiner he's working on. "Policy says that we have to take you in to be checked out. You could have a concussion."
She glances at the shop behind her, which is shaking with the furious movements of the fucking Troll he has in the backseat, and then back at Tim.
Tim sighs and reaches for his radio, glad that Lucy is at home and not listening as he calls it in.
"Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-100, we are code 20. I need an additional unit sent to my location to escort my rookie and my shop back to the station. One in custody."
Bailey waves her hand to the stretcher in the back of her rig but Tim ignores it and instead climbs inside to sit on the bench beside her.
Beside the knock to his head, he also took a pretty bad hit to the stomach and his ribsache.He also has a cut across his cheek, and he knows that there's no hope of hiding his injuries.
"Lucy isnotgoing to be happy with me."
Notes:
Herndon may be just as bad as Janes, only in a WHOLE different way! This isn't the last we'll see of him, and Lucy most DEFINITELY won't be happy!
Kudos and comments make me smile! I love reading every single comment!
Chapter 42
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"When can I go home?"
The doctor raises an unimpressed eyebrow at Tim but doesn't otherwise respond as he browses the results of the MRI on his iPad.
Tim groans and drops back against the bed, immediately regretting his flair for the dramatic when his headpulses,his vision blurring as he suppresses the urge to throw up.
Fuck.
He has a concussionfor sure.
"Well, Sergeant Bradford, you have a concussion."
Tim grunts and throws an arm over his eyes, blocking out the harsh ER light.
"No shit, Sherlock."
The doctor lets out a quick, humorless chuckle as he rounds the bed and checks on Tim's vitals. "You definitely took a hard hit, and it's serious enough that I'm keeping you overnight at theveryleast. So, we're going to get you admitted, and then—"
"No," Tim groans, shaking his head despite the pain. "No, I can't stay the night."
"You don't really have a choice, Sergeant, unless you plan on signing out against medical advice, which I do not recommend. You have a level three concussion, with considerable swelling and there's an ambiguous spot on your MRI thatcouldbe bleeding. If I send you home and it gets worse, you could die."
Tim sighs and closes his eyes, clenching his fingers into a fist where his hand is pressed over his face.
Lucy is going to bepissed— or emotional, he's not sure which, and honestly, he's not sure which he'd prefer, but she'lldefinitelykill him if he signs out against medical advice and then goes home and dies.
"Fine,"he grunts, finally removing his hand from his face as he searches around for his phone. The movement causes his stomach to lurch and he pauses, eyes fluttering closed as he tries to hold back the vomit.
The doctor holds out one of those little puke buckets but Tim shoves it away.
Hewill notthrow up.
He'sfine.
The doctor shakes it in front of his face and Tim gives in, reaching for it and positioning it under his chin as he swiftly relocates the contents of his stomach into the stupid little bowl.
He groans and drops back to the bed, cursing The fucking Hulk under his breath as he breathes slowly through his nose.
Once it feels like he's past the danger of puking again, he reaches for his phone, clumsily dials, and presses it to his ear.
"Yo, Bradford. We got your rookie and that troll you arrested back to the station without incident. How are you feeling?"
Tim rolls his eyes (and regrets it immediately) and then sighs. "I have a concussion. Look, Lopez, can you go and be with Lucy? She won't be able to come to the hospital and I'm stuck here overnight at the least. I don't want her to be alone."
Angela makes a sympathetic noise on the other end of the phone."I can stay with her for a while, sure, but I probably shouldn't leave Wesley alone overnight with Emmy and Jack…"
Tim sighs and presses his palm to his forehead, groaning as the beeping of the machine and the general noise of the ER causes his head to pound.
"Okay, yeah… yeah, that would be good. Be with her for at least a little bit, and then… fuck, we'll figure it out."
"She's not going to be happy, Tim,"Angela warns, and Tim sighs because heknows. "Mostly because she can't come and be with you. She's going tohatethat she's stuck at home while you're hurt and in the hospital. And I know you're used to Lucy being strong and a badass, but she's going through a lot right now, Tim. She's emotional and hormonal and … with everything happening with the babies and nowyou,it may not be pretty."
"I know," Tim whispers, the churning in his stomach returning as he imagines Lucy working herself into a panic. "I know. I should… god, I should call her."
"Good luck with that. I'll finish up here and head over there. Should I bring anything?"
Tim thinks back to the burger he'd bought for Lucy.
It's probably cold and gross by now, still sitting between the seats of his shop.
"A veggie burger," he whispers, closing his eyes as a wave of emotion overtakes him. "With extra pickles, fries, and ranch."
"From her favorite little burger joint? Sure, I can do that. Let me know if there's anything I can bringyou,too, okay?"
Tim grunts. "I'm fine. I just want to go home."
"Soon, Tim, and hey, bonus! You'll be out the rest of the week because of the concussion, and then you just have one more you have to survive before you're on paternity leave."
Tim doesn't tell Angela that he's seriously consideringskippingthat last week, because what will one more week matter, anyway? Herndon is probably going to wash out, too, so does it really matter that he'll be stuck behind a desk for the final week before his 6 month exam?
He doesn't say anything, though, because as much as he wants to quit and be home with Lucy, it is just one more week.
He should finish what he promised to finish, and what could possibly go wrong in a week?
"Talk to you later, Ang. And thank you."
"You're welcome, Tim. Feel better, okay?"
Tim promises he'll try and then hangs up the phone, taking a few seconds to breathe and try and calm down the pounding in his head and the roiling of his stomach before he dials Lucy.
"Hey, babe. Are you almost home?"
Tim glances at the clock and sees that it's 6:20 pm, and he winces as he realizes that heshouldbe headed home with her veggie burger by now.
"So, about that…"
There's silence on the other end of the phone, and Tim waits, the nausea growing as Lucy slowly puts the pieces together.
The strain in his voice.
The background noises of the ER.
The beeping of his heart rate monitor.
"You're hurt."
Her voice is quiet, laced with panic that Tim wishes he could take away.
"I'll be fine, just… There was this guy. He would have given The Hammer a run for his money."
He tries to laugh at the end, but it comes out weak and strained.
"Tim,"Lucy whispers, and hehatesthat he's the one causing the stress in her voice."What happened? How are you? I… I can come to the hospital. I'll be right there, and I can —"
"No, you can't come here, Luce," Tim says, sighing as he closes his eyes and presses the heel of his hand into his forehead. "You're on bed rest and I'm okay, I promise. It's just a little concussion. They want to keep me overnight for observation but I'mokay,babe. Iswear."
He doesn't mention the part where it's a grade three concussion or theambiguousspot on his MRI.
It's probably nothing, anyway, and he doesn't want to worry her.
"Tim."
He can hear the tears in her voice, thefrustration,and he hates himself for being the one to cause it.
"I'm okay, Luce. I'm just gonna sleep it off and they'll let me out first thing in the morning. Angela is coming over to bring you your burger. Extra pickles, right?"
"I don't care about the burger, Tim!"she cries, sniffling."I care aboutyou!You got hurt!"
"Yeah, I did," he murmurs, his voice low and comforting. "It's a hazard of the job, remember? But I'm just a little banged up. I'll be fine, I promise."
Lucy is silent on the other end of the phone for a long time, and Tim sighs as his doctor enters the room again, chart in hand.
"Hey, babe, I have to go. They're getting ready to admit me."
Lucy sniffles and Tim can hear the hitch in her voice when she responds.
"Okay."
He sucks in a breath through his nose, slowly, tears in his own eyes.
"I love you, Luce."
She's silent for a long time, the only noises on the other end of the phone her sniffling and the occasional hiccuping sob.
"Love you, too."
"Tell the girls goodnight from daddy."
Lucy sobs again and Tim hates himself a little bit.
"Okay. Call me if anything happens, Tim.Anything,okay? I just… I wish I could be there."
"I know," Tim murmurs, sighing as the nurses begin disconnecting him from various monitors so that they can move him. "I really have to go, but I'll call you back later, okay? I love you so much and I'll see you soon."
"Okay,"Lucy whispers, and then the phone line goes dead and Tim has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from either screaming or crying, he's not sure which.
Maybe a combination of both.
"Let's get you up to the floor," the doctor says, smiling sympathetically at him. "We'll see if we can get you out of here by tomorrow morning, okay? Get you home to that worried wife of yours."
Tim doesn't correct the man, doesn't tell him that Lucy is just his girlfriend.
He just leans his head back and lets them move him through the halls of the hospital. His head aches, his eyeballs arepulsing,and he just wants to lay down in a dark room and sleep for a few million hours.
He just wishes he could do it withLucyby his side.
They don't release Tim the next morning but theydospring him that afternoon after running a repeat MRI and going through a long laundry list of possible side effects and signs to watch out for.
"It's not my first rodeo," he tells the doctor, but she's not impressed.
"Come back if you have any more vomiting, if you lose consciousness, have blurred vision, or if your headache gets suddenly worse. Take it easy, rest, and drink lots of fluids. Be careful not to hit your head again, as it could cause worse symptoms."
Tim nods, sighing as they push him through the halls in the reviled hospital wheelchair.
"Is your ride here?"
Tim nods and points to Angela's car. She's leaning against it, arms crossed and lips pursed in worry. She helps him out of the wheelchair and into the car without comment, though, and Tim sighs as he settles back into the seat, the air conditioning blowing on him a nice respite to the stuffiness of the hospital.
"Last night was bad," she warns him when she climbs inside, and Tim nods because heknows.
He'd called Lucy back after taking a nap, and she'd basically just cried on the phone for the entire twenty minute call.
"She's stressed," he murmurs, grimacing as he presses his hand to his still aching head. "About the babies. And she's going stir crazy while on bedrest, and then I went and got hurt. She's…"
"She's not herself," Angela finishes, and Tim nods.
"Yeah."
"Pregnancy will do that to you."
"I know," Tim says, nodding as she pulls into the pharmacy drive through for his medications. "But it's not just that. She's had ashittyyear, Ang. The whole detective thing, Tamara moving out, Ray, me breaking up with her… and now she's dealing with a high risk pregnancy, being stuck at home, and…god,the universe won't give her a break and Ihatethat I'm adding to it. How much more can she take?"
Angela hums in response before turning toward the pharmacy window. "Prescriptions for Timothy Bradford," she informs them, rattling off his date of birth and address while he sits in the passenger seat, eyes closed. She doesn't speak again until the prescriptions are in her hand and she's pulling back onto the road. "She can take more than you think she can, Tim. She's strong. Resilient."
"She shouldn'thave to be,"Tim murmurs, because sheshouldn't.
She shouldn't have to deal with all of thisshit.
"She shouldn't," Angela agrees, nodding. "But she is. And it's going to get better, okay? But … for now, it's hard. And she may be a mess when you get home. Just roll with it, okay? Don't try and mansplain anything to her, don't tell her it's not a big deal, just let her process her feelings and be supportive."
Tim nods slowly. "How was she last night?"
Angela sighs. "She went back and forth. She waspissedfor a while, ranting and raving about Herndon and risks and being mad at you for getting hurt, and then she wassobbing.It was back and forth and she didn't fall asleep until nearly eleven. I tried to comfort her as best as I could, but…"
Tim swallows and eyes their road with trepidation as Angela approaches his house.
"All right. Andthank you,Ang, for everything. For being there for her. For picking me up."
Angela smiles and reaches over to squeeze his hand.
"That's what friends are for, right?"
Tim nods and then runs a hand through his hair, his thumb brushing across the bandage on his forehead as they pull into the driveway.
Angela helps him inside and then into the bedroom, and Tim's breath catches when he sees Lucy sitting up in bed, her eyes wet and tear-stained, her cheeks bright red.
She's clearly been crying.
"Hey, babe," he murmurs, wincing as he sits next to her.
"Tim," she whispers, scooting forward, her hand cupping his cheek. She touches the bandage on his forehead and then surveys the rest of him with wide, wet eyes, looking for injuries.
"I'm okay," he says, leaning into the warmth of her touch. "It's just my head. And my ribs ache a little bit, but it's just a bruise. No broken bones."
"Good," Lucy sniffles, and then she's sitting back and slapping his shoulder.
"Hey!" he gasps.
She frowns and wipes a hand across her nose, a fresh wave of tears falling from her eyes as she struggles to remove herself from her blanket burrito and stand up.
"Where are you going, Luce? Get back in bed."
"I'm mad at you!" she cries, sniffling as she reaches for her pillow and then yanks one of the blankets out from under him. She sways a little, her 25 week pregnant belly throwing off her center of balance as she glares at him. The effect is ruined a little, he thinks, by the way his sweatpants and t-shirt dwarf her, her wavy hair a mess from laying in bed.
She'scute,but he knows she won't appreciate him telling her that right now.
"You're mad atme?"he asks, frowning. "What did I do?"
"You got hurt!"
Lucy stands there in the middle of their bedroom, short and indignant, and Tim loves her so much but he knows that right now, her feelings toward him are not so positive.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, because heis."I didn't mean you get back in bed now?"
Lucy shakes her head and then turns, waddling toward the door with her blanket and pillow clutched tightly to her chest.
Tim sighs and nearly calls out for Angela, but she's either gone or waiting out their little reunion in the kitchen.
"Where are you going, Luce?"
"The couch!" Lucy grunts, kicking the door shut as she exits the bedroom. "Until I'm not mad at you anymore!"
Tim can hear her arranging herself on the large sectional and he sighs, collapsing back into their king size bedalone.
"Fuck," he grunts, throwing an arm over his eyes.
That did not go the way he was expecting.
Notes:
First fight post getting back together. I can't help it, the mental picture of indignant Lucy Chen dressed in Tim's clothes just makes me smile. She's probably cute when she's mad!
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 43
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
"And you'resureyou'll be okay if I leave?"
Lucy nods, not meeting Angela's gaze as she sips on the tea that the other woman had brought her.
She already misses Tim.
Fuck,why had she walked out of the bedroom?
All she wants is to be in his arms, to lay her head on his chest and listen to his heart beating.
She wants to count his breaths and know he'salive.
She wipes at her eyes and sniffles, glancing toward the bedroom door where she knows Tim is laying,hurt,without her.
"Go to him," Angela murmurs, smiling softly down at Lucy as she pauses beside the couch. She drops her hand to Lucy's shoulder and squeezes, offering silent support as Lucy turns to meet her gaze.
"I'm just…"
Mad?
Upset?
Worried?
All of the above?
She's not sure.
All she knows is that he'd beenhurtand there wasn'tanythingshe could do to help him.
She couldn't even go and sit by his fucking bedside!
"I just … need a minute," she murmurs, and Angela nods as she slings her bag over her shoulder.
"Believe me, I know how annoying Bradford can be. But… give him some credit on this one. It really wasn't his fault, so don't let him sweat it out too long."
Lucy nods, sighing as she melts further back into the couch, the blanket she'd stolen from her and Tim's bed wrapped tightly around her shoulders. She watches as Angela leaves and then buries her nose in the material of Tim's t-shirt, breathing in his scent.
It's nice, but it's not the same.
She wantsTim.
She glances up at the bedroom door and bites her lip.
She's not reallymad,she doesn't think.
At least not at him.
And it'sridiculous,she thinks, that he's the only one she wants and she'dstormed out.
She stands, her blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and begins to shuffle toward the bedroom. She's only made it a few steps, though, when the door opens, and she pauses, her breath caught in her throat as Tim stands there, his mouth parted and his eyes wide.
She's suddenly,viscerallyreminded of a time so long ago when she'd stood up from a couch and walked toward Tim just as he'd moved toward her, and though it feels like alifetimeago, she remembers how she'd felt then, too.
Back then she'd wanted the comfort of being in his presence just like she does now.
The strength of his arms.
The scent of his cologne.
The warmth of his safety.
The feel of his heart beating under her ear.
"Tim," she whispers, tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat, and he makes a vulnerable noise as he moves toward her, wrapping her in his arms the second she's close enough.
"Hey, baby, I've got you," he murmurs, and Lucy nods as she buries her face in his chest, taking in deep, greedy breaths of air to fill her lungs with him.
"I'm sorry," she whispers.
Tim hums and presses a kiss to the top of her head, the gesture familiar and comforting,grounding.
"Come on," he murmurs, and Lucy nods as he guides them back toward the bedroom.
There's a shuffle as they both try and fuss over the other, Lucy cupping Tim's cheek and trying to see his wound while Tim presses his hand to her belly and murmurs something about her needing to relax. They get tangled up as they reach the edge of the bed, and Lucy giggles as she pulls back, smiling despite the way her eyes are still wet with tears.
"Let'sbothget in the bed. Let'sbothrest," Tim murmurs, and Lucy nods, quickly pulling back the quilts. Tim groans as he sits and then shuffles himself under the covers, leaning up against the headboard and holding his arms open wide.
Lucy stares at him for a moment, her eyes trailing his body as she looks for signs of injury beyond the laceration to his head.
"I'm fine, babe," he whispers, smiling as he pats the bed next to him. "Just my head and my ribs, like I said. Now come on. Nothing a few cuddles can't cure."
Lucy rolls her eyes and crawls into the bed, sighing as she curls into his side. She throws one leg over his and lays her head on his chest, and it takes a few moments to settle in but once they both stop moving, she lets out a long sigh of relief.
Thisis what she's wanted since Tim first called her yesterday.
Thisis what she'd been searching for beneath all the panic and anger and frustration.
Tim.
Just Tim.
She's silent for a long time, her pulse slowing as she listens to the comfortingthump thump thumpof his heart under her ear.
He's alive.
He's here.
"I hate that you're out there while I'm…stuck,"she finally whispers, and while Tim doesn't speak right away, she can feel the uptick in his pulse and hears the low sigh he lets out.
"I know," he says, sighing again as he brushes his hand up and down her arm, the rough pads of his fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. "I'd feel the same way if the roles were reversed."
He pauses, and Lucy knows that he's thinking the same thing she is.
Hewillfeel the samewhentheir roles are reversed.
Whenshegoes back to work, andhestays home with the babies.
"It sucks," she murmurs, and he chuckles humorlessly as he presses another kiss to her hair.
"Yeah, it does."
Lucy bites her lip, the rest of what she wants to say stuck in her throat.
Tim notices, because of course he does.
Healwaysnotices.
"What is it, baby?"
Lucy blows out a breath and turns to glance up at him.
In for a penny, she thinks.
"I've always worried about you, Tim.Always.I started worrying about you during our second shift when you were shot and I haven't stopped since. But it's… it's so muchworsenow, because… because I can't do this alone."
Tim glances down where she's caressing her belly, her fingers dancing over where their girls are sleeping peacefully in her stomach, safe and sound.
"I can't raise them alone," she whispers, her voice breaking as she imagines a future in which she and her girls have to live withoutTim."Ican't,Tim, okay? I …cannotdo it."
Tim pulls her closer as she begins to cry again, and honestly, she's getting a bitsickof crying so much recently.
God,these hormones are no joke.
"You won't have to," Tim reassures her, shushing her when she opens her mouth to argue. "No, Luce, listen — there isno worldin which you have to raise these girls alone. None, do you hear me?"
Lucy shakes her head, pushing away from him as she pulls her feet under her. She can meet his eyes this way, and while she can see he believes every word he's saying, she knows he can't make that promise.
"You can't say that, Tim," she says, shaking her head again. "You can't promise that! You can't promise that you'll always come home!"
"No, Luce,listen,"he says, brushing a hand down his weary face as he leans forward into her space. "Listen. There's no way that you'll be alone,ever.Even if I die. Even if I die today, do you really think you'll bealone?That you'll raise these girls alone?"
Lucy sniffles as Tim continues.
"As if Nolan won't be here building them bunk beds when they graduate from their cribs. As if Nyla won't make sure they're the best dressed kindergarteners in the entire city. Grey will make sure they have a college fund set up and Angela will make sure you go out for spa days to retain your sanity. Lucy, don't you see? Even if something happens to me, you willneverbe alone."
Lucy stares at him, at his beautiful blue eyes, and while she registers everything he says, she's stuck onif I die today.
"You can't die," she whispers, shaking her head. "Tim, I know I wouldn't be alone, I know I would have my entire village, but I don't want to do this withoutyou."
"You won't, Luce," he murmurs, sighing as he pulls her back into his arms. "I will do everything within my power to come home to youalways.And… andifHerndon gets too careless, if he's dangerous, I will ask Grey to reassign him, okay? This wasn't his fault, butifthat happens, I won't risk it. I promise."
Lucy stares at him for a long moment and thencollapses,curling into Tim's side. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her head, his breath puffing across her cheek as they breathe together in the silence.
"Now, can wepleasetake a nap?" he asks. "My head hurts."
Lucy chuckles and nods, wiping away a few errant tears as Tim helps shuffle them down the bed until their heads are on the pillows.
"Yeah, we can," she whispers, brushing her lips over the bandage on his forehead as he pulls the blankets over them.
Tim sighs in happiness as they settle under the quilt, her thigh pressed between his and her belly squished between them. She can feel one of the girls moving around, but it's a sleepy, slow movement, and she smiles.
"We did well for our first fight since we got back together," she murmurs, and Tim chuckles as he tugs on one of her curls.
"Yeah, we did, huh? We reallyaregood at arguing, aren't we?"
Lucy laughs and buries her head in Tim's chest, breathing him in and comforting herself with the knowledge that he's here, he's safe, he'salive,and that he'll always do his best to come home to her and their little girls.
Notes:
Oh if only Timmy hadn't jinxed himself with that "I only have a week left, what could possibly happen" last chapter.
Comments and kudos make me smile!
Chapter 44
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Tim stares down at his phone as he takes the final bite of his sandwich, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
Best not to send Herndon the wrong message or anything.
Can't have the rookie thinking he'shappybeing here or anything, even if hasalmostbeen impressing him since their call with The Hulk.
He wipes his hands on his uniform pants and then quickly types out a response to Lucy's message, which is basically a poorly hidden attempt to make sure he's okay. She's been texting multiple times a day to check in since his first shift back after his concussion.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I'm doing fine, Luce.
Nothing exciting is happening out here, anyway.
She responds before Tim even has a chance to take a sip of his drink.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Oh god you just tempted fate!
Tim chuckles, losing the fight with his smile as he imagines his girlfriend at home, cuddled up in their bed, worrying about him.
It's sweet.
He hasn't had someone care about him like this for a long time.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
What? What did I do?
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
You basically just said the Q word!
TIM!
You said nothing exciting was happening!
That's like the SAME THING.
Tim shakes his head, glancing around at the almost empty courtyard.
Nothing excitingishappening, not even at lunch.
Hissandwichwas even a little underwhelming.
He'd never say the 'Q' word, he knows better, but even he can't deny that this is shaping up to be the most boring shift he's had in years.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Sorry, babe.
To: Tim Bradford
From: Lucy Chen
Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day worrying.
My doctor said to keep my stress low.
You need to start paternity leavenow,Tim.
Tim sighs as he sets down his empty cup, ignoring the inquiring looks from Herndon as he types.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
I only have two shifts left, Luce.
After today, one.
We'll make it. Just do some meditation, take a nap.
I promise I'm fine.
Lucy doesn't respond right away, not that Tim expects her to.
She's been having some issues with anxiety recently, and Dr. Kovac had warned her that she needed to take it easy, not just physically but also mentally. Any stress on Lucy is stress on the babies, she'd said, which had, ironically, only stressed Lucy out evenmore.
He knows that, right now, she's probably doing some deep breathing exercises to calm herself.
He begins typing another message, just to reassure her, and he's just barely hit thesendbutton when their radio goes off.
To: Lucy Chen
From: Tim Bradford
Herndon has been showing more initiative since the incident.
He may actually survive training if he keeps it up.
He's run all of our calls today with no issues.
"7-Adam-100, this is dispatch. We have a 211 in progress at West Mid-Wilshire Bank. The silent alarm has been tripped. No further information; proceed with caution."
Tim reaches for his radio as he chucks his trash into the trash can, sliding his phone into his pocket as he responds.
"Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-100, show us responding. Send backup and RA; we're two minutes out."
Herndon jumps into the passenger seat just as Tim throws the shop into gear, and then they're speeding down the road, lights and sirens on and blaring until they reach the block the bank is on.
"Sir?" Herndon asks, watching with confusion as Tim turns off the sirens and slows the shop to a crawl.
"We don't know what's happening, Boot," he explains, nodding toward the bank. "We approach silently, assess the situation, and make a plan. Backup should be here soon. We don't move until then."
Herndon nods and swallows, climbing out of the shop as Tim parks it across the street and down the road from the bank.
There's nothing suspicious from the outside as far as Tim can see, and he bites the inside of his cheek as he draws his weapon while running across the street. Herndon follows, and they both press their backs against the glass windows of the shop on either side of the bank.
Tim draws in a slow breath, inching forward until he's right next to the bank windows, only a thin brick wall separating the bank from the boutique next door. He carefully keeps himself out of sight as he turns, quickly taking stock of what he can see through the glass.
He knows immediately that something is wrong.
There's no one in the bank.
No one.
No civilians, no bank tellers, nothing.
Fuck.
He reaches for his radio, speaking quietly into it as he presses back against the boutique wall.
"Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-100, we're on scene. Unable to confirm anything at this point, but something is definitely off. There is no one inside the bank as far as I can tell. If they're under duress, they might be in a back room or the vault."
"7-Adam-100, this is dispatch. We have additional units headed to your location along with SWAT and a hostage negotiator. Please do not engage."
Tim nods and replaces his radio, his eyes flickering back toward the window when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye.
"Officer Herndon,do not move,"he hisses, but when he turns to glare at his boot who is standing on the other side of the bank, he hasn't twitched even an inch.
Thenwhat…?
Oh.
Tim cusses, his eyes fluttering closed as he sees a small child run through the lobby of the bank, his eyes wide and wet with tears. He's screaming, Tim knows, based on the shape of his mouth, but he can't hear anything from outside the window.
Fuck.
"Fuck!"
Herndon turns to Tim, eyes wide, as the toddler pushes against the glass of the front door, his little hands smudging the glass as he pushes in vain.
He's not strong enough.
He can'topen it.
Tim moves without thinking, one hand on the butt of his gun while the other wrenches the door of the bank open. The toddler screams and falls on his ass, and Tim is reaching for him to haul him outside to safety when he hears the clicking of a gun next to his ear.
"Do. Not.Move."
Well shit.
Lucy isdefinitelynot going to be happy about this.
Less than two minutes later both Tim and Herndon have joined the civilians they couldn't see from the outside of the bank inside a small, cramped workroom.
"Sorry, sir," Herndon apologies, his voice a whisper as he eyes the AR-15's their captors are holding, but Tim just sighs as he runs his hand through his hair.
"Not your fault, Boot," he says, shaking his head. "I knew better than to engage. I just… I saw him, you know? And I reacted.Ifucked up."
Herndon stares at him with wide eyes, and Tim grimaces as he glances around the workroom.
He fucked upbig time.
But he'd seen that little boy, not more than a few years old, and he'd just reacted. He'd seen a baby who needed help and when he'd last looked there hadn't been anyone else in the lobby.
He'd made a bad choice, and now heandHerndon are in danger.
"Backup is on the way," he murmurs, and then he grimaces when their captor turns on them, a black ski mask covering his face.
"I said no talking!" he snaps, hitting the metal barrel of his gun against the door frame as he glances around the room. Tim follows his gaze, quickly counting the civilians in the room, noting their ages and injuries as he does so.
Nine people, including them. All adults except for the toddler, two injuries. One of the tellers has a nice size gash above their eye, and a man who Tim easily pegs as military has a heavily bleeding arm and an even heavier glare directed toward their guard.
He was shot, Tim assumes.
Probably tried to stop the robbers.
Everyone else is young, scared, and probably won't be much help if Tim comes up with a plan.
"Herndon, stay here," he murmurs, his voice low enough that their captor can't hear from his space beside the door. "I'm going to head toward the man over there, the injured one? See what I can find out from him."
Herndon nods, his eyes on the man with the gun as he holds the toddler against his knee. The child's mother is standing next to them, too, silently crying the way she has been since they'd all three been thrown back into the room. Tim doesn't know how the child escaped, but he's certain his mother must have beenterrified.
He moves slowly, an inch at a time when the thug with a gun isn't looking, until he's leaning against the same wall as the injured man.
"Hey," he greets, keeping his eyes forward as he whispers out the side of his mouth. "Sergeant Bradford, LAPD."
The man chuckles humorlessly. "Lieutenant Lowe. Lot of good you do us in here, Sarge."
Tim winces.
He isn'twrong.
"Yeah, sorry about that," he murmurs, grimacing as he runs his hands through his already messy hair. "I saw the kid and reacted, you know? But backup should be here by now. SWAT, too. I assume that they're assessing the situation and trying to contact the robbers right now."
As he speaks, he hears one of the phones in the lobby begin ringing, and takes advantage of their captor's distraction to move closer to Lowe.
"What happened? How many are there? Any information would be helpful."
Lowe sighs and then grimaces, tightening the cloth he has wrapped around his upper arm.
"I was trying to deposit a check, saw them come in. Pegged them as suspicious immediately. I took one down, didn't see the others. They shot me and used me as an example. But you should see the other guy. He was gut shot."
Tim nods slowly.
Maybe he can use that, if he can manage to negotiate with their captors.
"Will he need immediate medical care?"
Lowe nods.
"Oh, yeah. I got him good."
"How many are there?"
"Four, including the one I got. Two big, burly men, a woman, and the guy I shot was young and gangly. It's the big ones we need to worry about. I think the woman is here to crack the vault, honestly. She didn't have weapons, seemed real nervous around the guns."
Tim nods, quickly processing the information as he glances toward the door.
The phone in the lobby rings again, and the man guarding them sighs in annoyance and yells into the hallway.
"Anything else?" he asks Lowe, his gaze flickering back to Herndon as he begins scooting back toward the rookie.
"No. It all happened so fast, man. You said backup is on the way?"
Tim nods and pats his knee reassuringly.
"Yeah, hold on tight, okay? Don't try to play hero again, you already helped out enough by taking one of their men down."
Lowe chuckles dryly and motions toward his arm.
"Yeah, a lot of good it did me."
Tim winces and nods, and then turns his gaze back toward the door as their guard clangs his gun against the mental door frame again.
"Hey! Who the fuck is Bradford?"
Tim turns, eyes wide, and struggles quickly to his feet.
"That's me."
The man grunts and points at Tim with his gun, grinning as he nods his head toward the door. "Phone call. Get the hell over here. Someone wants to talk to you."
Notes:
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 45
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
"Don't panic."
Lucy freezes with a strawberry halfway to her mouth, her previous good mood from seeing Angela's name pop up on her phone completely vanishing at the obvious strain in her voice.
"I was going to ask you to bring me a veggie burger," she says, dropping the strawberry and pressing her heel into her eye as she tries to calm her suddenly racing heart.
"Well, maybe we can all have burgers afterward."
Lucy draws in several slow, carefully measured breaths.
Don't panic,she reminds herself.Stress is bad for the babies.
"After what?" she asks, her voice carefully measured.
Angela sighs on the other end of the phone."First things first, Tim isfine.But… he's ... a little bit caught up in a hostage situation at a bank."
Lucy loses the battle with her heart, panic clawing up her throat as Angela's words echo in her head.
Hostage situation.
Oh, god.
"Ang," she whispers, her throat thick with emotion as she pushes blankets off of her lap and slides her feet off of the bed. "Where?"
"I shouldn't… you're on leave…"
"Where?"
There's a long pause in which Lucy stands, groaning as she presses her hand to the small of her back to relieve some of the pressure the twins are causing. She waddles over to the dresser and grabs a pair of Tim's sweatpants, pulling them on over her panties and then tearing her t-shirt off over her head. She's pulling a sports bra on over her head as Angela finally answers.
"West Mid-Wilshire Bank,"she says."But Lucy, I only called to keep you updated. We have it handled, I promise. SWAT is here and they're trying to get Tim on the phone to help negotiate."
"I'm coming," Lucy says, her words muffled as she pulls on one of Tim's t-shirts over her head. His clothes are the only things that fit right now, and she knows she looks ridiculous but she doesn't care. "So you can either come pick me up or I'll drive, but I'm coming."
"It's not good for the babies,"Angela whispers, causing Lucy to pause mid-step as she stalks across the bedroom floor. She bites her lip and cups her belly, remembering the panic when she'd gone into labor and thought her babies would die.
She's twenty-seven weeks now, but she knows her girls are still in danger.
So is Tim,she reasons, and she has to stifle a sob as she thinks about Tim stuck in a bank with guns pointed at him.
"I need to be there," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion as she eyes her bed and then the door to her and Tim's bedroom. "I need…Ang."
Angela is silent again for a moment, though Lucy can hear muffled voices over the phone as if she's talking to someone. She waits, her heart in her throat, torn between making sure her babies are okay and making sure their father is.
"I'll be just as stressed out here, waiting." she whispers, though she's not sure if Angela is listening or if she's talking to herself. "Maybemorestressed. Ineedto be there."
Angela finally comes back on the phone, and Lucy holds her breath as she waits.
"Bailey said she can come pick you up in the ambulance. If you agree to stay in the ambulance with constant monitoring on your blood pressure and vitals, you can come be here while SWAT and Metro handle it."
Lucy nods to herself as she collapses back onto the bed.
"Okay, yeah. Yeah, I promise. I just need to be there."
"I know, babe. Okay, Bailey is leaving now. She'll come get you. We'll see you soon."
Lucy nods and then drops her phone when Angela hangs up.
After this, she isdefinitelydemanding that Tim start his paternity leave.
It's best for her, him,andthe babies.
"Your blood pressure is just a little bit elevated," Bailey murmurs, and Lucy nods becauseof courseit is.
She's sitting outside of the bank that Tim is being heldhostagein, and the SWAT negotiators haven't been able to get anyone on the line. They haven't heard or seenanything,and each minute that passes causes her unease to deepen, her panic to grow.
"Can I give you a light sedative?" Bailey asks, her voice soft and calming. "Nothing that will knock you out. Just… something to calm you down, to help your blood pressure lower and your heart rate to slow."
Lucy bites her lip as she rubs a hand over her belly.
"Yeah," she whispers, nodding as she swallows around the lump in her throat. "Okay, yeah. That sounds good. That's… that's good for the babies."
"Everything else is fine," Bailey continues as she quickly draws up the medication and slides the needle into the crook of Lucy's arm. "Your cerclage is holding just fine and there's no sign of labor. You just need to stay as calm as possible."
Lucy nods.
She'strying.
Being here is helping, somehow, because she's not stuck at home imagining the worst. She'shere,and she can see and hear everything that's happeningasit's happening.
She'll be on site if…
Well,if.
"Thanks," she murmurs, smiling up at Bailey as she stares out the back of the ambulance. They're behind the police tape but she can still see SWAT, can still see Angela and Nyla, Grey and Nolan.
She knows the best people are on the job,andtheir family is there. None of them have to be, of course — none of them are trained for this, but they'reherefor Tim and Officer Herndon should something happen.
"Waitingsucks,"she murmurs, and Bailey chuckles as she nods.
"Yeah, it does," she agrees, rubbing a hand up and down Lucy's back as she eyes her husband where he's standing beside Grey. "It's hard knowing he's out there every day risking his life. And I know he worries about me, too, but it's not the same, you know? I'm not… his job ishigh risk,and I worry every day he may not come home."
Lucy nods slowly, her hand brushing over the little foot that's kicking her from the inside.
SheandTim both have high risk jobs.
What will happen to their girls if the worst happens?
What will happen to herandthem if Tim doesn't make it out?
"Look, Metro is here," Bailey murmurs, and Lucy deflates a little bit more because seeing people she knows, people shetrusts,helps calm her panic.
Even if he's no longer in Metro, she knows every single one of those guys has his back.
"Okay," she says, nodding as she blows out a breath. "Okay, things are moving now."
Tim
"Phone call. Get the hell over here. Someone wants to talk to you."
Tim scrambles to his feet, automatically pressing his hand to his hip where he normally carries his gun. It's not there, of course, and he grimaces as he walks toward the man holding the AR-15 at his side. The man reaches out and tangles his hand in Tim's collar and hauls him forward, and Tim has to suppress every instinct that he has to keep from punching the man out.
"In here," he growls, and Tim nods as he glances toward the windows of the bank as they pass quickly through the lobby and into one of the offices.
He sees SWAT, Metro, patrol, and several ambulances outside, all with their lights flashing, bathing the bank in the blue and red he's so used to, but he knows how easy it is for something like this to go sideways.
He wonders if he can get this man alone, take him out, and then…
"Here."
A phone is shoved into his hands before he can formulate a plan, and he sighs as he leans his elbows on the desk and answers.
"This is Bradford."
"Sergeant Bradford, it's Lieutenant Pine. How are you?"
"I'm fine, but the situation here is… dicey."
"Tell me."
Tim blows out a breath and glances at the man standing next to him. He's glaring, his eyes hard, and Tim knows that he has to tread lightly here.
"We have nine civilians, including a child," he murmurs, glancing at the man before turning back to the phone and quickly adding, "Four suspects. All are armed with AR-15's and —"
He's cut off with a grunt when said AR-15 is slammed into the side of his head.
"Hey!" the man shouts. "Shut up!"
Tim rubs at his head, wincing when he feels the split skin and the blood slowly seeping down his forehead.
"You okay, Bradford?"
He grunts and throws the man next to him a glare. "Yeah, but Happy here apparently doesn't want me sharing too much information. Gonna be hard if they want to negotiate their way out of here if we can'ttalk,though."
Pine chuckles humorlessly as Tim rubs his head.
"Tell her our demands," the man says, shoving a piece of paper into his hands. He glances down at the crumpled paper and the messy handwriting, reading it swiftly before snorting.
"Yeah, that's literally not gonna happen," he says, which earns him another smack to the head with the butt of the gun.
"Tell her!"
"God,fine,"he grunts, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. "Happy says they want a helicopter and a secure path out of here, and that…"
"Read the second part," Happy grunts, and Tim sighs as he drops his forehead into his free hand.
"And that they'll shoot a hostage every thirty minutes that their demands aren't met."
He hears Pine's sharp intake of breath and lets his own eyes flutter closed as he glances from the phone to the man standing next to him.
"This isn't realistic," he says, waving the paper in the air."Maybeif you make a show of good faith. Release the mom and kid, and thenmaybethen they'll be willing to play ball."
Happy grunts but doesn't respond, and Tim sighs as he turns his attention back to the conversation with Pine.
"You have to stall them,"she says, her voice strained and tense. Tim can hear background noise, knows that everyone is working together to get the hostages out alive, but he also knows that situations like this often go wrong.
Terriblywrong.
God, he should have started his paternity leave early.
"I can try," he murmurs. "But I'm not sure how much good it's going to do."
"Do what you can. Metro is working on ingress points. We have building plans and are thinking of using the underground tunnels. If you can tell us where the hostages are and where the robbers are stationed, that would be helpful."
Tim glances back at Happy, who is glaring at him and making a 'hurry up' motion with his hand.
He sucks in a breath and tenses, preparing for the hit he knows is coming.
"They're in the workroom. One man is in there with them, the others are in the vault, and —"
The phone is wrenched from his hand and the butt of the gun shoved into his face again, and Tim grunts in pain as his nose gushes blood.
Fuck, Lucy is going to bepissed.
"Shut up!" Happy growls, and Tim groans as the phone is thrown at his head.
It's still connected, though, so he tries once more.
"One of them is gut shot, so they're down a man. Tell Lucy I love her!"
Happy roars as he hangs up the phone and pulls Tim from the chair, his fingers tangling in his collar so tightly that it restricts his breathing until his vision blurs. He feels faint as he stumbles along, and this time as he's hauled through the lobby, he searches the faces of each of the men and women standing at the police line.
He sees Grey and Angela and Nolan, Lieutenant Pine and all of his Metro guys.
He doesn't seeLucy,though, and while he hadn't expected to, he feels a pit in his stomach as he's shoved back into the workroom with the rest of the hostages.
If he dies…
She won't even get to say goodbye.
Officer Herndon glances up and gasps at the sight of Tim's bloody face, but Tim doesn't pay him much attention.
Hehasto figure out a way out of here.
Hehasto get back to Lucy and his girls.
No matter what.
Notes:
I have moderated comments on this fic because of some comments last chapter. One negative comment was made and it suddenly turned into a situation where everyone was discussing the negatives in my comment section and it tore me down. I know that probably nobody meant it that way, and I get the want to discuss new updates with others, but there's a better place to do it than my comment section where I read it all. No one would DM Melissa/Eric and talk about all the negatives of an episode in their messages, they'd do it with their friends away from the actors.
Please keep in mind that I KNOW not every chapter will be everyone's favorite. Not everyone will like where I take the fic, and that's OKAY. But it's MY fic, and I'm going to write it how I want to write it. Telling me you don't like it or it's not your favorite chapter doesn't do anything but hurt my feelings, which I am entitled to have about the fic I'm writing.
I know I'm not perfect and my fic isn't perfect, but 1) saying negative things without any constructive criticism isn't helpful, and 2) telling me all the negatives while also telling me not to get upset about it ALSO isn't helpful. You can't have half a comment saying all the negative things and half a comment saying "don't let it upset you".
It's okay to not like my fic. If you don't like it, don't read it. There's THOUSANDS of Chenford fics to read. Here's the door if you don't like it. No negative comments will be approved.
Chapter 46
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
"You okay, Sergeant?"
Tim nods and then immediately regrets it. His head is pounding and he feels sick to his stomach, not unlike when he'd been concussed by The Hulk, and he decides that if he survives this he isdefinitelygoing to go on paternity leave early.
"Yeah, I'll be… I'll be fine," he tells Herndon, though he's not entirely sure that heisas he leans against the wall and drops his elbows to his knees. He blows out a breath and tries to will the nausea away, closing his eyes against the black spots that are swimming in his vision.
"You don't look so good," Herndon ventures, but Tim just hums in response as he stands back up, resting his head back against the wall as he eyes the man at the door who had hit him repeatedly with the butt of his gun.
"Happy over there basically used my head as a punching bag. Got me good a couple times. But I'm okay. We need to… we need to focus on getting out of here alive. They have some pretty ridiculous demands that include executing a hostage every thirty minutes. Something tells me I'm gonna be the first to go, too, considering that I told SWATwaymore than he wanted me to."
"Yeah?" Herndon asks, glancing nervously around the room. He's twitchy but holding it together better than Tim had thought he would, which will earn him points on his evaluation if they make it out of here. "So, are they going to be able to... you know, get everyone out?"
Tim blows out a breath and shrugs. "I don't know. I told them how many men there were, that they're armed, and where the hostages are. So… we'll see."
Herndon nods and then begins wringing his hands nervously, but Tim doesn't pay him much mind as he begins surveying the room.
He needs to take Happy down if they have any chance of getting out of here.
He just doesn't knowhowhe's going to do it.
The bank workroom doesn't have much he can use, and he'lldefinitelyneed the element of surprise if he plans on taking this asshole down. He's huge, easily half a foot taller than Tim,plushe isn't dealing with an unfortunate head injury.
"We have to do something," Tim murmurs, and Herndon nods in agreement as he eyes the little boy who they'd got caught trying to save. "I may need a distraction at some point. Think you can come up with something?"
"Yeah, for sure," Herndon says, swallowing as he glances around the room. "Are you gonna try and… and get his gun away from him?"
"Something like that," Tim says, rubbing a hand across his face. "The others are in the vault, so if we can take him down we may be able to get the hostages out of here and then SWAT can handle the rest. Has anyone else been by? What about when the two of us were gone answering the phone?"
Herndon nods slowly. "Yeah, another guy took his place. Shorter, seemed kind of jumpy. He left as soon as you guys came back."
Tim nods and falls silent as he slowly begins to canvas the room.
Most everything is bolted to the walls, but there are a few tables with chairs, a large, industrial copier, and various appliances like a coffee maker, toaster oven, and microwave.
Nothing he can really use as a weapon.
He's going to have to rely on his hand to hand combat training, which…
Well, at least it's only one man.
"We don't have a lot of time," he murmurs to Herndon, nodding toward the clock. "It's been almost fifteen minutes since we came back from the phone. If they're serious about executing hostages, we don't have long. So, here's what I'm thinking. I need a distraction — something loud but not something that will put anyone in danger. He's a little too excitable with that gun. I need his attention diverted, and I'm going to come up from behind."
Herndon nods, already scanning the room for something that he can use as a distraction.
"Just let me know when, sir," he murmurs.
Tim nods and begins scooting down the wall, careful not to draw attention to them as he positions himself behind the guard at the door. Herndon begins moving slowly in the other direction, eyeing the appliances on the table beside the industrial copier.
Tim quickly realizes what he's going for, and he finds himself smiling involuntarily at the rookie's quick thinking. Knocking over the glass coffee pot as well as the toaster oven should cause enough chaos without putting a bullseye on anyone else. If anything it'll put a target onhim,but Tim is hopeful that the guard doesn't havethattwitchy of a trigger finger.
He knows that they have to do this, but he really doesn't want to get his rookie shotjustwhen he thought they might have a chance of getting him through his training.
Herndon meets his eye across the room and Tim gives him a short, nearly imperceptible nod.
It all happens fast after that.
Herndon bumps into the table, causing both appliances to fall to the ground with an ear-shattering noise. Glass shatters and metal clangs, and in the nearly silent workroom erupts into chaos. The little boy screams and hides in his mother's arms, and two of the young tellers begin sobbing, thinking that the noise is gunfire.
The guard, thankfully, takes the bait easily, and Tim blows out a breath as he prepares to move.
"Hey! What the fuck is going on over there?!"
He moves in the direction of Herndon, who is going a great job pretending to be a scared, bumbling idiot. He's sweeping the glass and metal into a pile, making even more noise as he profusely apologizes. His eyes are wide and his hands are shaking, and Tim knows that at least some of his fear has to be real.
If they make it through this, he's going to makedamn surethat Herndon receives some kind of recognition for this.
The boy is literally putting his life on the line.
My turn,Tim thinks, and he gives himself a single second to prepare himself mentally to charge unarmed toward a man who is holding an AR-15, and in that single second, he thinks about Lucy and their babies, the little girls that he hopes with everything in him he'll get to see grow up.
I love you, Lucy,he thinks, and then he's charging toward Happy, pushing aside the dizziness and nausea that have been plaguing him since he'd been hit in the head. He wraps one arm around Happy's neck, the other moving quickly to push his gun arm away from the cowering group of hostages.
It takes less than a second to realize that he won't be able to take the man down on his own, but in the end, he doesn't have to.
Herndonsteps up, quickly moving in to grab the barrel of the gun, turning it toward the floor and then wrenching the man's finger away from the trigger.
After that it's only a matter of seconds before the man is on the ground, Herndon on his back and Tim staggering to the side, dizzier than he thinks he should be.
"Good work, Boot," he says, smiling as Herndon grins up at him. He has the man's arms behind his back already, tied with the tie from his uniform. "I may keep you in long sleeves forever, that was quick thinking with the tie."
Herndon grins and chuckles in relief, sitting back once Happy's arms are tied tightly and the AR-15 kicked away from him.
"All right," Tim murmurs, bracing a hand against the wall as he turns to the hostages. "We have averysmall window of opportunity to get the hell out of here, so listen closely. No one is in the main lobby because the walls are glass and they don't want SWAT picking them off, so we're going to use the main entrance as our egress point. Single file line, women and kids in front. Herndon will lead and I will bring up the rear, but once we're outside, we're free and clear. So let's move."
It's easy to line up the hostages, to make sure the little boy is in the front and covered by the adults.
"Come on, come on, come on," he murmurs, his heart in his throat as Herndon quickly leads their line through the lobby of the bank.
The door opens and he can hear commotion from the outside as the hostages begin to trickle out. SWAT and the EMTs both swarm the boy and his mother as they exit, and Grey quickly grabs Herndon, pulling him behind one of the squad cars and immediately questioning him. Tim can't hear what they're saying, of course, but both men are gesturing toward the bank where Tim is bringing up the back of the line.
"Almost there," he murmurs, but as the last man exits ahead of him, he feels some of the adrenaline drain from his body and he stumbles, his head aching and the dizziness almost overwhelming. He stumbles and hits the wall, the breath knocked out of him as he struggles to stay upright.
Fuck!
He's so close.
He's less than five feet from the door, but it's already closed behind the other hostages.
He'sso close!
"Hey! YOU!"
"Shit," he whispers, his hand clenching into a fist as he tries to push away from the wall.
"What the fuck are you doing out here? Where is Nathan — what thefuck?"
Tim closes his eyes, grateful that it's just him in here.
Everyone else got out.
He needs to make a run for it, he knows.
He needs to run.
Run!
"Get back here!"
He hears the man behind him raise his gun and he swallows down the nausea that's rising in his throat, tries to blink back the black spots in his vision.
Lucy.
His little girls.
He has to go.
It takes every ounce of strength he possesses, but he manages to stumble through the door just as the man behind him begins firing. The bullets his the plaster above the door and then the glass, and he winces as he feels some of the shards biting into the skin of his face.
He's free.
He's out of the bank.
He just has to get away from the bullets —
"Bradford!"
"Are you okay?"
"Is everyone out of the bank?"
Tim sucks in a breath and nods as he stumbles toward the safety the rows of police cars will provide.
"Everyone… everyone is out!" he yells, and as soon as the words are out of his mouth he hears the thundering echo of guns, bullets flying past him from both inside the bank and out as SWAT returns fire.
Good,he thinks, and he's almost made it to the line of police cars when he feels something bite into his shin, knocking his leg out from under him as he dives toward the pavement.
Arms reach for him and pull him to safety, though, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Nyla and Angela hovering above him.
Good,he thinks.
He made it out.
He'salive,at least for now. Lucy may kill him when she finds out, but that's a problem for later, he decides.
"I'm retiring," he whispers, and he's not entirely certain he's joking as he feels someone begin to press against the wound on his leg. "Gotta… gotta see my girls grow up."
He hears Angela's wet laugh from where she's already busy applying pressure to his shin, and he groans as his visions swims. "You'll have to take that up with Grey and Lucy," she murmurs. "For now, though, we've got you. You did it, Bradford. You got them all out safe."
Yeah, he did.
He lets out a soft chuckle and then gives in to the darkness threatening to overtake him.
Everyone is out and alive, and he can worry about the rest later.
Notes:
Thank you so much for the support after the negative comments I received! I love the outpouring of love from this fandom whenever I'm feeling down.
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 47
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Lucy sees Tim go down and it's the hardest thing in the universe not to run to him.
"Iwill go check him out," Bailey says, her grip on Lucy's upper arm tight and unyielding. "But from what I saw, it's just his leg. He'sfine,Lucy. He's hurt but he's going to be fine and you need tocalm down."
Lucy nods and closes her eyes, one shaking hand over her chest as she tries to slow her heart.
Bailey squeezes her arm and begins to loosen her hold, and part of Lucy wants to take the opportunity and run to Tim, but the other part knows she'srightand she needs to stay right where she is for the sake of her own health and her babies.
"Okay," she whispers tearfully, nodding even though it's takingeverythingin her not to run to the love of her life. "Okay. Can he… can he come inyourambulance, with us?"
"That's the plan," Bailey promises, and then she's jumping from the back and jogging over to Tim with her bag on her shoulder. Lucy watches through tear stained eyes as his leg is packed and wrapped, and then they're lifting him onto a backboard and the stretcher and finally,finallyhe's headed toward her.
"He's unconscious," Bailey warns her as they load him into the back. "But his vitals are stable and strong." She climbs in, closes the back doors of the ambulance, and then slaps on the divider that separates them from the driver to let him know they're ready to go. Lucy spares a glance for their friends waiting outside the ambulance before all of her attention is on Tim. She reaches for his hand and holds on tight, two fingers pressing over his pulse point as she counts the beats of his heart.
"How… how is he doing?" she whispers, bringing her and Tim's clasped hands to her mouth. She kisses each of his knuckles one by one, taking comfort in his warm skin and the feel of his heart beating underneath her fingers.
"He took a few hits to the head," Bailey murmurs as she works around Lucy, cleaning cuts on Tim's face and bandaging a particularly deep gash in his temple. "Which I'm not thrilled about, considering the recent concussion. And he was shot in the leg but it was through and through, clean entry and exit wounds. I expect he won't even need surgery."
Lucy nods, glancing down at Tim's tightly wrapped leg before shifting her gaze to his beautiful, beaten up face.
"He was hit in the head?"
Bailey nods as she continues disinfecting all of Tim's new wounds.
"It looks like it, yeah. The butt of a gun, maybe? Either way they're going to need to send him for a CT immediately since hejusthad a concussion. That's our biggest worry right now, not his leg."
Lucy swallows and tries to hold back the fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over.
"Okay," she whispers, kissing his knuckles again as the ambulance speeds through the streets toward the hospital.
Bailey reaches for Lucy's free hand and gives it a squeeze.
"Just try and stay calm, Lucy. Remember? For those little girls. We'll take care of Tim. You just worry about yourself and those babies."
Lucy nods, takes a deep breath, and begins counting in her head.
She's only at 87 when they roll up to the hospital, but when they take Tim away from her, she has to start counting all over again.
Despite her many protests Lucy finds herself in the ER, too, being checked over by a physician despite the fact that she feelsfine.
"You need to have that cerclage checked," Bailey says, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. "You are supposed to be onbed rest,Chen, which today most definitely wasnot.So, you're getting checked out, too, and then I am escorting you home."
"But Tim —"
"Isfine,"she stresses, cutting Lucy's protests off before she can even really get herself worked up. "They've already triaged him and sent him for a CT, but they decided his leg doesn't need surgery, just sterile dressings, antibiotics to prevent infections, and time to heal. I bet he'll be in the hospital a few days because of his head, but he'saliveand he'sfine,and so nowyourfocus is those babies."
Lucy swallows and nods, blinking back tears as she lays back on the exam table.
"Can… can you stay with me?" she asks, turning to Bailey with wide, wet eyes.
Bailey smiles softly and nods. "Yeah, I can stay unless I get a call."
Lucy blows out a breath and reaches for her hand, squeezing it tightly as the doctor asks her to put her legs up into the stirrups. She does, parting her knees andhatinghow on display she always feels during cervical exams.
"All right, hon, I'm just gonna get in there and check to make sure your cerclage is holding," the doctor murmurs, and Lucy nods as she turns her eyes toward the ceiling. She winces when the doctor begins the exam, squirming on the table as she checks her cervix.
It doesn't take long but she always hates it, no matter how quick or painless it is.
"All right, no dilation, which is good," the doctor murmurs, narrating her actions as she works. "Stitches are great, no leaking of amniotic fluid… I'm cautiously optimistic that things are holding well. We'll do a quick ultrasound to check on those little ones, and then we'll have you on your way back to bed in no time."
Lucy blows out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, melting in relief as her doctor pulls back and snaps her gloves off.
"Thank you," she whispers.
"Your blood pressure is alittlebit high, but considering the stress of the day, I'd say that 130/92 isn't bad. We're going to keep you here until it returns to baseline, though, just to be cautious."
"I gave her a little bit of Propofol in the field," Bailey says. "It helped a bit."
"Propofol is generally safe for pregnancy," the doctor says, nodding. "I can give you a little bit more if you think it would help?"
Lucy bites her lip, considering, and then nods becauseyes,it probably will help, at least until she can see Tim with her own eyes and know he's okay.
"Yes, please."
The doctor smiles softly and quickly types into the computer, putting in the order.
"All right, time for that ultrasound."
"Now, you have tostay in bedthis time," Bailey warns, glaring playfully at Lucy as she helps her settle onto the mattress.
Lucy rolls her eyes. "As long as Tim doesn't get himself into any more hostage situations or kidnapped or anything, I promise, I won't go anywhere."
Bailey laughs as she sits on the mattress beside Lucy's legs, tucking the blanket in around her.
"He's tucked in at the hospital, safe and sound."
Lucy sighs and bites her lip, shrugging as she stares down at the blanket she and Tim had picked out together for their new bed, in their new home.
"I just wish I got toseehim," she whispers, her teeth digging into her lower lip as she tries not to cry. "I know he's safe because you promised me he was, but … but seeing him with my own eyes would have made me feel a lot better, you know?"
Bailey hums, rubbing her hand over Lucy's leg where it lays under the covers. "I know, babe. But he was held up with all those tests, and you needed to come home. You shouldn't have beenoutin the first place, but we made it work, and now that he's out safe and alive, you need to be here,resting."
"I know," Lucy whispers, shrugging as a single tear finally escapes her eye and trickles down her cheek. "Iknow.I just…god,Bailey, first he was a hostage and then he made it out and wasshotand I couldn't do anything! All I could do iswatch.I haven't evenseenhim, Bailey. I haven't gotten to see him or talk to him or-oranything.All I can do is take everyone else's word for it because I'mstuck here and Ihate it!"
At that, Bailey finds herself suddenly smiling.
"ThatI can help with," she says, holding up a finger to pause Lucy as she unlocks her phone. "Angela is with him, texted me an update a few minutes ago that they're settling him into a room. If he's all settled in, then…"
Lucy bites her lip, craning her head to try and get a look at Bailey's phone.
"Hey, Ang!" Bailey greets, smiling down at her phone as it's picked up. "Is Tim all settled in?"
"He's just been brought to a room,"Angela confirms, and Bailey's smile grows as she moves to sit on the bed beside Lucy, the phone between them. Angela is on FaceTime, monitors and IVs and typical hospital paraphilia behind her, but Lucy doesn't care about any of that.
"Tim!"
She grabs the phone from Bailey's hand, her heart rate skyrocketing as Angela laughs at her. The phone shakes and there's a fair amount of grumbling on the other end, but within seconds, she's staring atTim.
Finally.
Tim, who isaliveandsmiling.
"Hey, baby."
"Tim," she whispers again, and she realizes as she glances at herself in the top corner that she's crying, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Oh, god, I'm so glad you're okay. Youareokay, right?"
Tim chuckles as Lucy searches his face for injuries. There's a knot the side of a golf ball on his forehead and several butterfly bandages holding together smaller gashes, one on his cheek and one right over his nose. His left eye is swollen and it looks like he's going to have a hell of a black eye in the morning, but he'ssmiling,his blue eyes sparkling as he stares at her through the phone.
"I'm okay, Luce,"he reassures her."A few bumps on the head earned me another night here, but my leg is fine. No surgery, just rest. Before you know it I'll be home joining you in that big bed of ours, and we can be on bed resttogether."
Lucy sighs in contentment as she stares at Tim with wide, wet brown eyes. "I can't wait. I … Tim, I wasso scared."
"Believe it or not,"Tim murmurs, one eyebrow raised."Herndon saved the day, kind of. Without him, I don't know that we would have made it out of there. It was a team effort."
"Maybe we'll actually get one rookie through training this round," she says, laughing wetly as she rubs her eyes. "God, it's been a wild ride these past few months. You areneverallowed to get yourself into a hostage situation again, do you hear me?Never."
Tim chuckles and then groans, pressing a hand to his head."I promise I'll do my best. Can't say I recommend it. But you don't have to worry about me, Luce, not for a long, long time. I'm out after this. Paternity leave is officially starting, and you know I'm not going back for a while after the girls are born."
"Thank god forthat,"Lucy says, sighing in relief. "I can't take much more of thisworrying,Tim."
"As if watchingyougo out into the field is any easier for me,"Tim murmurs, watching her with soft, affection filled eyes. He's smiling dopily, and Lucy knows that part of it's the pain medication but part of it is also justTim.
She loves the way he looks at her, not bothering to hide his love anymore.
"Well, neither of us has to worry for a while," Lucy says, shaking her head as she wiggles herself further under the blankets of the bed that she hopes Tim will join her in soon. "We've got several weeks, hopefully, before these girls come, and then… and then it'll just be the four of us for a while."
"I can't wait,"Tim says, sighing happily as his eyes begin to flutter.
"Hey, Luce, I'm gonna take the phone from Tim before he drops it on his face,"comes Angela's voice.
" –'m fine,"argues Tim, but even Lucy can see that he's about to fall asleep so she shakes her head.
"You need to rest, Tim, so you can come home to us," she murmurs. She blows him a kiss and then sighs. "I love you so much, Tim.So much."
"I love you, too, Luce. I can't wait to come home to you."
Lucy kisses her fingers and then presses them to the screen, and then stares at Tim for as long as she possibly can before Angela takes the phone back.
"I'll take good care of him, Lucy, and I'll bring him home in one piece. We'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Lucy agrees, swallowing thickly as she waves. Tim waves back and then his eyes begin fluttering closed, and it's with a much lighter heart that she hangs up the phone and passes it back to Bailey.
Tim will be home soon, and that's all that matters.
Notes:
All right, we're getting ready to head into the final arc of this story, which is the twin's birth. There will be some more drama to come, but Tim won't get kidnapped again so there's that! I can't believe that we're getting closer to the end of this one, but there's a good 10-15 more chapters so no worries!
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Chapter 48
Chapter Text
Tim
"Well, Sergeant, I don't see any reason you can't return to work."
Tim perks up and Lucy rolls her eyes, immediately slapping his shoulder from where she's sitting next to him on the exam table.
"Exceptfor the fact that you nearlydied,"she mutters, eyeing the physician's assistant that's conducting Tim's final follow-up appointment, a woman named Kim that they've never seen before, with more than a little bit of irritation. "And the fact that you were taken hostage.Andthe fact that you were shot."
Tim chuckles as he stretches his leg, relieved to find that there's no longer any pain when he moves it. The healing wound that will soon turn into a scar still pulls a little, but it's notpainful,which he's thankful for.
"Those were all related," he points out, smirking when Lucy slaps his shoulder a second time. "So really they should all count as a single reason."
"Paternity leave,Tim," she says, poking a finger in his shoulder. "If you go back into work it will stress me out and that's bad for meandthe babies."
"Plus you want a bed rest partner."
Lucy smiles and ducks her head, trying to hide her suddenly pink cheeks.
He knows he's notwrong,but he can't blame her, really.
He'sonly been on bed rest for a few weeks and he's been going slowly insane. Lucy is nearing week eight of forced relaxation, and while he knows she'd do itindefinitelyif it's what's best for their babies, he knows it's taken a toll on her. She's restless and cranky, short tempered some days and overly emotional others.
She's not at all like the Lucy she'd been before pregnancy, not that he'd tell her that.
He likes all of his body parts attached, thank you very much.
"I can't promise that I'll stay in bed," Tim says, holding up a hand to stall Lucy's protests when she opens her mouth to argue. "But Iwillstay home. I can work on the nursery with direction from you and be at your beck and call while you relax."
Lucy reaches to take Tim's hand in her own, squeezing to let him know it's nothimshe's frustrated with.
"I amso tiredof relaxing,"she grumbles.
Kim laughs at her words as she continues typing notes into Tim's file before closing it out and opening Lucy's.
"With twins on the way, you'd better enjoy thehellof that, hon. You won't relax again until they're in high school. Probably not even then, honestly. Now, lay back. Your turn."
Lucy sighs as she lays back on the bed, lifting her shirt from her midsection. She already feels huge and somehow gets bigger every single day, and the twins are currently tap dancing on her bladder which she doesn't love.
"Thirty one weeks today," Tim murmurs, smiling softly as he settles in at Lucy's side, reaching for her hand and entwining their fingers as Kim squeezes gel on her belly and presses the ultrasound wand into her skin.
"Thirty one weeks is a great milestone," she says, winking as she begins taking measurements. "Babies should be just over 3 pounds, which is huge. If they make it to four pounds, youmighteven be able to avoid a long NICU stay."
"Oneof the babies will be three pounds," Lucy says, sighing as she turns toward the screen and lets her eyes wander the outlines of her little girls. They've seen them so many times already, at least triple the amount of times normal pregnant women get to see their babies on ultrasound, but it still hasn't lost itswonder.It's amazing, seeing them kick and move around inside of her. "The other is measuring small. Fetal growth restriction. It's… it's all in my file."
Kim hums and nods as she types into the computer.
"Well, regardless, your cerclage is holding and the babies are growing everyday. Everything you can do to keep them cooking even adaylonger is good. Babies at this point in pregnancy put on about a third to a half a pound each week, so feel free to grump and complain all you want about bed rest, anddefinitelyput your husband to work, but keep doing what you're doing."
Lucy opens her mouth to correct Kim, to tell her that Timisn'ther husband, but before she can find the words the physician's assistant is continuing.
"Baby A is measuring right at 3 pounds, 2 ounces, sixteen inches long. A healthy, chunky little girl."
"And Baby B?" Tim asks, the fingers of his free hand tracing Lucy's ring finger as the wordhusbandechoes in his head.
He has a ring.
Hehashad it since before he walked away from her in that damn parking lot, and he'd thought, for severalterribleweeks, that he'd never get a chance to use it.
But now…
"Baby B is measuring a little smaller, as you know," Kim says, nodding her head toward the ultrasound screen. "1 pound, 9 ounces, 12 inches long. Baby B is, for all intents and purposes, measuring about six weeks behind Baby A. So, today, we'd compare her to a 25 weeker, and while chances of survival at 25 weeks are nearly 80%, so are the chances for lifelong complications. That drops to about 10% at week 28, so that's a milestone to look forward to."
"I can't fuckingwaitfor that day," Tim says, sighing as he squeezes Lucy's hand. "This whole thing has my nervesfrayed."
"Yournerves are frayed?" Lucy asks, her voice high and squeaky as she turns to Tim. "I'm worried about the babies and then you go and get yourselfshot,Tim Bradford. I can't handle much more excitement. I'm about tapped out."
Tim chuckles and resists the urge to roll his eyes as he brings their clasped hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to Lucy's knuckles.
"I promise, Luce. No more excitement. The most thrilling thing that's going to happen in the next few weeks is picking a color to paint the nursery."
"I'm going to hold you to that," Lucy says, raising an eyebrow before turning back toward Kim. "Two more weeks? I can do that. Iwilldo that."
Kim winks at them and Lucy smiles, pressing a hand to the side of her belly.
She's already been doing this bed rest thing for eight weeks.
Two more should be a breeze.
Right?
"Oh my god,look at your little belly!"
Lucy laughs, her eyes sparkling as Tim helps settle her into one of the rolling chairs in the bullpen. He pulls a second over and settles her feet into it, and Lucy sighs in contentment as she settles back into the chair.
"My belly isn't at alllittle,"she says, grinning as Angela and Nyla immediately surround her, excited and happy to see their friend back in the station even if it is just for a few minutes.
"I'm going to talk to Grey," Tim murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he nods his head in the direction of the Watch Commander's office. "Stay here. Don't move; doctor's orders. If you need something, Lopez or Harper can get it for you."
"What if I have to go pee?" Lucy challenges, raising an eyebrow.
Tim chuckles and shakes his head.
"Then they can roll you into the bathroom. Seriously,stay.This shouldn't take me long."
Lucy nods and settles back into the chair as he begins walking away, and Tim tosses a glance over his shoulder to make sure she's following his orders as he moves slowly toward Grey's office. The wound in his leg still twinges a little bit, but he knows that moving it around and using the muscles is the best thing he can do for his healing.
He's just raising his hand to knock when Grey glances up and spots him through the glass windows, and Tim's smile mirrors Grey's own as he moves out from behind his desk and opens the door.
"Sergeant Bradford, aren't you a sight for sore eyes."
Tim chuckles as he enters the office, closing the door behind himself to block out the noise and distraction of the station.
"Well, take your fill, because I'm not going to be back for a bit."
Grey perches on the edge of his desk and clasps his hands together in his lap. "I figured as much. When you were getting patched up at the hospital Lucy was pretty worked up about you going on paternity leave."
"Yeah, I got cleared for work today but I don't plan on coming back until after the babies are born."
Grey sighs and leans over, opening his desk and pulling out a stack of forms.
"I've got your paperwork right here," he says, handing over the manila folder. "Just fill it out and drop it by any time. Any idea how long you'll be out?"
Tim winces at that, dropping his gaze to the folder as he plays with the frayed edge.
"About that…"
Grey groans.
"All right. Just give me all the bad news at once, Bradford, as long as you're not planning on retiring or anything dramatic."
Tim chuckles and shakes his head. "No sir, no retirement just yet. But Iamplanning on taking an extended leave of absence. After Lucy's maternity leave, I plan on staying home with the girls until they're ready for daycare while she comes back to work."
"So… ten weeks? Sixteen, maybe?"
Tim glances up to meet Grey's eye.
"More like… a year and a half? Maybe more."
His words stun the Watch Commander into silence, and Tim feels his heart begin racing as he hurries to explain.
"Doing the work we do…seeingwhat we see… Lucy doesn't want the girls going to daycare until they can talk, until they cantell usif something is happening to them. She was on that call last year," he says, eyebrow raised as he thinks back to one of the calls they'd responded to while Lucy was still his aide. "The baby who died at daycare? There was a pattern of abuse and neglect. She doesn't… and I can't blame her. I don't want them going to daycareever,but …"
Grey sighs and leans further back as he watches Tim carefully.
"I'm sorry if this puts you in a tough spot with TOs," he continues, shrugging. "But Juarez graduates soon and Nolan can take Herndon on, and once Lucy is back she'll be ready to start, so…"
"We'll figure it out," Grey murmurs, cutting Tim off with a raised hand. "We will miss you around here, Tim, but we'll survive. Your family is more important. And, well, I always knew Chen would replace you one day."
Tim rolls his eyes as he laughs, slapping the manila folder on his knee as he stands from where he's been perching on the back of one of Grey's office chairs.
"Who are we kidding, she's going to replaceus all.She'll run the entire station one day — Captain Chen."
CaptainBradford,he hopes, and as he thinks about Lucy's future he also thinks abouttheirs.
Maybe he'll get to put that ring to use one day soon, after all.
He should probably go ahead and pull it out of its hidden spot in the top of the closet where Lucy can't currently reach.
"She's definitely one of a kind," Grey says, shaking his head fondly as he glances through the glass at where Lucy has melted into the desk chair Tim deposited her in. She's smiling widely, laughing at something Lopez has said, and it makes Tim smile, too. "You take care of her, son, you hear me?"
Tim nods as he turns his gaze back to Grey's.
"Yes, sir. Will do."
"And keep us updated, please. Let us know when she goes into labor, and let us know if there's anything else we can help with."
"I will," Tim promises, nodding as he reaches out to shake Grey's hand. "I'll get this paperwork filled out and turned back in as soon as possible, sir."
"Whenever you have time," Grey says. "For now, you have more important things to do. Get your girl home and take care of her."
Tim nods and salutes him with the paperwork, and then turns and walks out of Grey's office for what will probably be the last time for quite a while.
Chapter 49
Notes:
Trigger Warning: Pregnancy complications, blood
(See the end of the chapter formore notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
She's read every book in the entire house, binge watched all of her favorite shows, and even tried a few that turned out to be truly horrific.
She's officially and trulybored.
"Tiiiiiim."
She hears him laugh from the other room and rolls her eyes.
She's notthat bad.
In fact, considering the fact that she's been lying in this bed for everything except to pee and shower formultiple months,she thinks she's doing pretty damnwell.
"What do you need, my love?" Tim murmurs, smirking as he walks into the room, a cup towel over his arm and his jeans riding low on his hips. His limp is almost completely gone. The physical therapy he's been doing has worked wonders on his wound and, though she won't say it, she knows it's even helpingoldinjuries he was too stubborn to get help for.
"I don't even know anymore," she says, sighing as she gestures to the piles surrounding her. There's pregnancy and baby books, puzzle books, remotes, her phone, snacks, several empty water bottles (because if she drinks more water, she gets to get out of bed more often), and even a few trashy magazines Tim had given her shit for but had gone out at 6am to buy nonetheless. "I'm justso bored,Tim."
Tim makes a soft, understanding noise as he slides into the bed next to her. Lucy immediately turns and makes herself comfortable against him, her huge belly resting comfortably against his abs.
"I wish I could do this part for you," he murmurs, kissing her head as he drops one hand to her belly.
"I just want it to be over, you know? I'mso bored.But I also hope that it lasts forever, because that means our little girls are getting bigger and stronger."
Tim nods and hums in agreement as he rubs her belly, his fingers pushing her t-shirt up until he can reach warm, bare skin. She's getting larger every day and her center of balance is now completely shot. Each time she gets up she nearly falls over and, once she's regained her balance, shewaddles.
It's cute, but he knows better than to say it.
She'd cried the last time he'd mentioned her waddling, and he has no urge to repeat that.
"I want to shower just for the novelty of getting out of bed," she grumbles, sighing as she lays her head over his chest. She can hear his heart beating steadily, and it's soothing. "But I showered last night and I know I shouldn't be making up reasons to be up and about. I know I need to stay right here, but…"
Tim hums again as she trails off.
"How about…"
He pauses and she turns, glancing up and letting her eyes travel the line of his sharp jaw.
She wants to kiss it, to kisshim,but the things she wants to do to him (the things that will inevitably follow said kiss) woulddefinitelybreak the rules of her bed rest.
"How about I draw you a warm bath? That way you're still off of your feet, but it's a change of sceneryandit would do wonders for your aching muscles."
Lucy nods enthusiastically as Tim leans down and presses his lips to her forehead in a sweet, chaste kiss.
"Yes,please," she says, smiling as she tries to move off of him so that he can make good on his promise. "But … only if you join me."
"No funny business," Tim warns, one eyebrow raised. Lucy holds up her hands and gives him her bestI'm innocentlook, one that he most definitely doesn't buy, and they both chuckle as he helps her reposition so that he can crawl out of the bed.
"Be right back."
Lucy sighs and melts back into the bed, her eyes following him and appreciating the curve of his ass as he walks into the en suite bathroom and leans down over the tub. She bites her lip, one hand on her belly as her heart rate speeds up.
Damnbut that man can fill out his jeans.
"Lucy," he warns, and she makes a surprised, indignant noise as he turns and glances back at her, amusement dancing across his face.
"I'm justappreciating the view,"she defends herself. "I miss your ass. Sue me."
Tim laughs and shakes his head, removing his ass from her line of vision as he turns on the tub and sticks his hand under the flow of water to make sure the temperature is just right. Lucy continues watching him, appreciating the line of his jaw, the swoop of his hair, and the way his muscles bulge as he squeezes some bubble bath into the water and then stirs it with his arm.
She loves him so much, but shemisseshim, too. Misses the way he lights her skin on fire and worships her body.
When the doctor had saidthatwas off limits, she'd nearly cried.
She'd do anything for her girls, of course, but she can't wait until their babies are here, safe and sound, and she can climb her boyfriend like a tree again.
"Ready?"
Lucy startles, torn from her thoughts as Tim speaks from right by her side. She looks up, his little knowing smirk making her stomach do something funny as he reaches a hand out and offers it to her.
"Ready," she agrees, taking his hand and letting him pull her off of the bed. His smirk grows as she wobbles and then waddles, but she just rolls her eyes.
It'shisbabies that are causing her to not be able to move without looking like a duck, after all.
He helps her strip and then into the bath, and all thoughts of funny business disappear when she steps into the deliciously warm water.
Forget marrying Tim one day.
She's going to marrythis bathtub.
"Oooooooh," she moans, her eyes fluttering closed as she sits down and lets the water cover her belly and her chest all the way up to her neck. Thankfuckthey sprang for the claw foot tub. There's so muchroom,and while she'd been thinking ofother activitieswhile eyeing the bathtub when they'd toured the house, she now appreciates is in a whole new way.
"Yeah?" Tim asks, raising an eyebrow as he pulls his t-shirt over his head. Lucy nods, not even tempted by his abs as he tosses it to the floor.
(Okay, she's alittletempted).
"This isfucking amazing."
Tim chuckles as he unbuckles his jeans and then motions for Lucy to scoot forward so that he can climb in behind her. It takes a few moments, but eventually he's leaning against the back of the tub with Lucy laying against his front, and they both sigh in contentment as they let the water wash over them.
They sit like that for a while, silently enjoying the heat and warmth, but eventually Lucy turns her head to lay her ear against Tim's shoulder, her eyes meeting his as she lets the question that's been inside of her for so long bubble to the surface.
"Can we give them names?"
Tim's thumb pauses where he's been rubbing it absently over her stomach.
"Yeah. We probably should, huh?"
Neither of them say it, but Lucy knows they've been putting it off out of fear.
Is iteasierto lose a baby that doesn't have a name?
No, she knows it's not.
Of courseit's not.
It will gut them either way, and she'd rather have a name for their little girl if they do have to go through the unthinkable.
"I've had… alotof time to think these past few months," she begins, and Tim chuckles but doesn't interrupt her. "And… and a few names rise to the top for me, but I know you, Tim, and I know thatyou'vebeen thinking, too."
"I have," he confirms, nodding as he continues rubbing at her belly. "There are a few I really like, too."
Lucy smiles and places her hand over Tim's, her fingers tracing the veins and his knuckles as they both revel in the little kicks underneath his palm that let them know their girls are fighters.
"Let's toss some back and forth. Any that one of us doesn't like are an automatic 'no', and the ones we both like we can put on a 'maybe' list."
"How about Charlotte?" Tim asks, and Lucy smirks because sheknewhe'd go for the traditional names.
"I like it, but Officer Peters just named her daughter Charlotte," she points out.
Tim sighs and nods.
"Oh, yeah. Okay. So, that's a no go. Your turn."
Lucy considers her list, thinking through the names she's been researching. There areso manypossibilities, but there were a few she'd come back to again and again.
"Adelaide?"
She canfeelthe noise Tim makes, and rolls her eyes even though he can't see her.
"Too… snooty," he says, and Lucy laughs.
"I figured that one wouldn't pass the Tim Test. Next."
"Hmmm. How about Amelia?" he asks, and Lucy startles, disturbing the water she turns to eye him.
"That was one ofmynames!" she exclaims, and he smiles as he brushes his thumb across her cheek. "It was on my list, one of the 'twin names' pairs I had."
"Yeah?" Tim asks, his eyes sparkling as he leans forward and presses his lips gently to hers. "What was the 'pair' for Amelia?"
Lucy bites her lip, her heart racing as she considers the name she'd paired with it.
She doesn't think Tim will like it, is the thing, but she's fallen in love with it and has even been using it inside of her own head about the smaller of their twin girls.
"Ayla," she whispers, her chest tight as she watches Tim consider it. "It's Irish. It means 'bringer of light'. I was thinking… for our little girl? The smaller one?"
Tim mouths the name, trying it out, testing how it feels on his lips.
Lucy waits, her heart in her throat.
"You love it," Tim muses, and Lucy nods.
He knows her better than anyone, and she knows there's no point in denying the fact that she'd fallen in love with the name she considersperfectfor their little girl.
"I do."
"I think it's pretty," he murmurs, smiling as he leans forward and kisses her again, softly. "Ayla, meaning light. Just like her mother."
Lucy feels tears pooling in her eyes as Tim stares at her with such love, suchsoftness,that her heartaches.
"Amelia and Ayla," she whispers, testing the names out loud together for the first time.
"Perfect," Tim says, grinning widely as he kisses her again and then again, his arm sliding around her waist as she melts into him. "Ameila and Ayla. Our girls."
Lucy smiles against his lips, barely able to contain her excitement as they slowly, sweetly make out until the water grows cool and then cold around them. She shivers once, and Tim is immediately standing, reaching for a towel and wrapping her up in it before lifting her from the bath and setting her on the plush mat in front of it.
"I need to pee," she murmurs, and Tim chuckles because it's kind of become her mantra over the last several weeks.
"All right," he says, helping her sit on the toilet before bending over and pulling the plug on the bath. The water begins to run noisily down the drain as he reaches for his own towel, smirking when Lucy sighs in sadness as he covers himself up.
"That was mean," she says, causing him to chuckle again as he runs a second towel over his hair, the one around his waist tight even as she reaches out and tugs at it. "The bonus of being home on maternity and paternity leave, Tim, is the walking aroundnaked."
"The doc said no funny business," he reminds her as she reaches for the toilet paper after doing her business. "And if we both walk around naked, there's no hope for us."
Lucy has to admit he's right, but she doesn't have to be happy about it.
He's afinespecimen of a man, and—
"Oh, shit."
Tim turns back to her after dropping the towel he's just used to dry his hair back over the rack.
"Tim," she whispers, her voice shaking as she holds up the toilet paper she's just used, and she can see his eyes widen as he takes in the sight that had just caused her own heart to race.
Blood.
The toilet paper is covered inblood.
Shit.
Notes:
I'm SO SORRY I've been gone so long. I took a little mental health break for my own sanity. I don't know how BACK back I am. But I'm hoping for at least weekly updates if not more often!
Love you all!
Kudos and comments make me smile.
Chapter 50
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
The good thing about having a cerclage that's bleeding profusely is that Lucy gets rushed to labor and deliveryimmediatelyupon arriving at the emergency room.
The bad part?
Literallyeverything else.
"Tim."
He hears Lucy but can't drag his eyes away from the charts on the walls, the ones showing the growth of babies at various stages in fetal development. He spots the one that shows a baby at 32 weeks, which Lucy is, and then tracks down to 27 weeks, which their smaller baby, their littleAyla,is measuring at.
"Tim."
This time Lucy's plea is filled with terror, her voice cracking as she squeezes his hand and brings his attention back to her.
"Sorry," he whispers, shaking his head as he brings their clasped hands to his lips. He kisses her knuckles and then glances at the screen, the one displaying Lucy's vitals as well as the twins.
"I'm so scared," she breathes, and he swallows as he nods.
He is, too.
But he knows he needs to be strong for her.
"I know," he murmurs, kissing her hand again before he sits slowly in one of the chairs at her bedside. "I am, too. But look, Luce — look at the screen. Both of our little girls are fine for now. Those are strong heartbeats. They're okay."
Lucy swallows and nods, reaching her free hand up to shakily wipe tears from her eyes. Tim watches her, feels the tears in hisowneyes, and sucks in a shaking breath as he tries to find the right words to say, the words that will reassure her and comfort her as well as himself.
Before he finds those words, however, there's a knock on the door of the exam room they're in. Tim clears his throat and whispers, "Come in," but before the words are even out of his throat the door is opening and Dr. Fowler is walking in.
Tim breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of the doctor, the same one who had saved the lives of Lucyandtheir babies all those weeks ago by first putting the cerclage in.
"Hello, Tim and Lucy," he says, a smile playing at his lips despite the seriousness of the situation. Tim has always appreciated that about him — the ability to be serious while still maintaining an air of nonchalance that makes his patients believe everything will be okay. "How are we doing today, other than the bleeding?"
Lucy wipes her eyes again and clears her throat, placing one hand over her belly as she eyes the monitors again.
"I feel fine, other than the bleeding," she says, shrugging. "No cramping, no… no contractions or anything. I didn't know anything was wrong until I saw the blood."
Dr. Fowler nods as he sits on the rolling stool beside Lucy's bed. He flips through his iPad, quickly reading the notes of the nurse who had admitted them, and then chews on his lip as he eyes her vitals and notes.
"I'd like to do an exam, if that's okay with you," he says, raising an eyebrow as he stands and reaches for gloves. Lucy nods and lets Tim help her pull her sweatpants and panties off. The pad in her panties is less bloody than she'd feared, but seeinganyamount of blood after what had happened when they'd put the cerclage in isterrifying.
Dr. Fowler is quick and efficient and doesn't seem terribly worried by what he finds.
"Well, you're not in labor," he confirms, offering them a small, reassuring smile as he snaps his gloves off. "But your cerclageisbeginning to fail."
Lucy nods, her eyes wide and her fingernails digging into Tim's skin as she grips his hand for dear life.
"What… what does that mean?" Tim asks, stepping closer to Lucy and pressing his free hand over her belly where their daughters are safe inside of her.
For now,he thinks, and he swallows thickly as one of the girls kicks his palm.
"It means that we're going to take a wait-and-see approach," Dr. Fowler says mater-of-factly. "As of right now, Lucy, you aren't dilated at all so we're not going to take the stitches out. Once we do, things will progress quickly and we don't want that yet. You're going to be admitted until you go into labor, though, because things could progress rapidly and we need to do fairly frequent checks because if you go into labor with the cerclage in place, things could get messy. Baby A is—"
Tim glances up at Dr. Fowler and finds himself smiling for the first time since he'd seen the blood after Lucy had used the restroom.
"Amelia," he murmurs. "Her name is Amelia. And Baby B, our little fighter, is Ayla."
Dr. Fowler smiles, too, his eyes sparkling as he eyes the couple before him.
"I apologize. We're going to do an ultrasound as soon as Nurse Anna gets here, butAmelia,if she's been growing at the same rate as she has been, will probably only need a short NICU stay to gain weight. Ayla, however, if the previous trend has continued, is measuring around the weight of a 27 weeker and would need more interventions."
Lucy nods, rubbing her belly and loosening her death grip on Tim's hand as she takes in everything Dr. Fowler has told them.
"What… what are the statistics? For babies born at 27 weeks?"
Dr. Fowler clicks his iPad off and sits back down on the swivel chair at Lucy's bedside.
"Nearly 90%, barring complications."
Lucy breathes a sigh of relief, and Tim can practicallyfeelthe tension leaving her body.
"This isn't what you'd hoped for, I know," Dr. Fowler says, smiling encouragingly as he points to the charts on the wall. Tim eyes the 27 week fetus again, imagininghisbaby,hisAyla, being that size, and he feels utterlyterrifiedbecause when they'd first found out Lucy was pregnant he'd been worried about how he'd care for someone that small.
He'd never imagined a babythissmall,thisfragile.
"It's not," he confirms, swallowing hard.
"But," Fowler continues. "The cerclage held a lot longer than anyone could have hoped for. We were prepared to deliver two micro preemies. Now, depending on Ayla's measurements, you may not be deliveringanymicro preemies. Every single day they stay inside is a blessing, so even one more is worth fighting for. And ah-ha, here's the ultrasound machine! Let's check on these little ones."
Lucy perks up as the machine flicks on, eager to see their babies again. Tim chuckles as she cranes her head toward the screen, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple as her eyes trace the outlines of their girls.
"Baby A — sorry,Amelia,is measuring right at 17 inches and 4 pounds. Double her weight when you first came in, Lucy."
Tim lets his eyes flutter closed as he remembers every moment that Lucy had nearly gone insane with boredom, her frustrated tears,everythingshe went through to keep their little girls inside as long as she could.
"You didamazing,baby," he murmurs, his lips pressed to her forehead as he speaks. "I know you hated every single second of bed rest, but you werefucking amazing!Look at that — at our little girl, ready for the world."
Dr. Fowler chuckles. "Well, not entirely ready, but a hundred percent more ready than she was eight weeks ago. And here's Baby B, Ayla, measuring a wonderful 14 inches and almost two pounds. I know that sounds small and scary, but she was 12 ounces when you first had the cerclage put in. These extra weeks have moved her from not even being viable to having a near hundred percent chance of survival. You did good, mama."
Lucy nods, tears in her eyes again as she memorizes the sight of her babies on the ultrasound.
"And just because I'm bleeding… doesn't mean it's time?"
Dr. Fowler shakes his head.
"It means it'salmosttime. The cerclage is failing. Your body is readying for birth and the stitches won't be able to hold it back much longer. But you're here and you'restayinghere until these little ladies are born. I'll be on call 24/7 until it's time, because Iwillbe the one welcoming them into the world, Lucy. We're in the final stretch now, and I doubt we have much more time before you meet your little ones."
The final stretch before birth,Tim thinks, because he knows they have a much longer journey ahead of them once their girls arehere.
"We'll get you admitted and have someone check on you every hour. I know that sounds horrible and like you'll never sleep again, but it's for your safety. Once you go into labor, those stitches have to come out and we have to get you prepped for a c-sectionimmediately."
Lucy nods, blowing out a breath as she turns to Tim.
He already knows what she's going to say, and though hehatesthe thought of leaving her here alone, he knows he needs to pack for both of themandthe babies, because he doesn't plan on leaving her side again after this and they're going to be here what he imagines is quite a while between Lucy giving birth and the girl's stay in the NICU.
"I'll go home and pack our bags," he murmurs.
Lucy smiles, her eyes soft. "You always could read my mind."
Tim chuckles.
"It'll take a while to get her admitted, right?" he asks, and Dr. Fowler nods.
"Yes. We'll get her moved to a room and settled in while you go home and pack."
"Don't forget the babies coming-home outfits," Lucy says, and Tim nods as he remembers the tiny, preemie-sized outfits Lucy had picked out.
"Text me as you remember things, I'll get it all," he says, squeezing her hand as he stands. "I can also grab food for us and take care of informing everyone of what's going on."
"Thanks, babe," Lucy murmurs, sighing as she relaxes back into the bed, her hand never leaving her stomach. She rubs her fingers over her bump, tracing the outlines of the foot that kicks her every few seconds and the tiny butt pressed into her ribs.
Tim kisses her once more and then walks backwards, his eyes not leaving Lucy's face until he's out of the room and walking down the hallway.
Less than a few hours ago he'd been convinced he was losing both Lucyandthe babies, and now… now he's preparing tomeet them.
He reaches for his phone as he walks, dialing Angela as he enters the elevator.
She picks up almost immediately.
"Yo."
Tim chuckles, pressing his palm to his forehead as he smiles despite the seriousness of the situation.
"Hey, Ang."
She picks up on the seriousness in his tone immediately.
"What's wrong?"
"Lucy started bleeding," he says, and then quickly adds, "But she'sfineand the babies arefine.We're at the hospital right now. That's why I'm calling — I'm headed home to pack our things because we're being admitted until Lucy gives birth. I wanted to know…"
Before he can even finish his sentence, Angela is interrupting him.
"Of course I'll come sit with her while you're gone, as if you could get rid of me."
Tim smiles, feeling a weight lift off his chest as he hears Angela's keys clinking over the phone.
"I can be there in fifteen. Is she in the maternity ward?"
"Yes," Tim says, nodding as the elevator opens. He walks out through the emergency department and into the fresh air, breathing it in as he tries to locate the truck he'd parked haphazardly after he'd followed the ambulance to the hospital. "She's being moved to a new room, but they should be able to tell you where she's at once you get here. You're on all her paperwork."
"Perfect. I'll send you my dinner order, Bradford,"she says, and then she's hanging up and Tim is chuckling into the silence of his truck cab as he starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.
Pack, dinner, hospital.
He drives five miles over the speed limit all the way back to the house, determined to get back to Lucy as quickly as he can.
Dr. Fowler had warned them that Lucy would likely go into labor quickly, but none of them expect it to happen as quickly as it does.
They're in the middle of dinner when Lucy winces, one hand falling to her stomach while the other holds her veggie burger so tightly Tim worries it'll explode. Both he and Angela eye her cautiously, eyes wide as she grimaces for several long moments, one hand gripping her stomach in pain, and then relaxes.
"Ouch."
"Shit."
Angela moves to press thenurse callbutton quickly while Tim stands, discarding the rest of his burger as he glances worriedly into Lucy's eyes.
"I'm not ready," she whispers, and Tim nods as he pastes on the most encouraging, bright eyed smile he can possibly manage.
"I know, baby, but remember what Dr. Fowler said? The girls are big and strong thanks to you, and everything is going to be okay."
Lucy nods and then closes her eyes, breathing through the pain that's still piercing her midsection as they wait for first the nurse and then Dr. Fowler.
"It's time," he announces, his smile brighter than even Tim's as he saunters into the room and begins unhooking wires and IVs to prepare her for transport. Neither of them had wanted Lucy to have to deliver by c-section, but according to Dr. Fowler, it was the safest option after having a cerclage placed. "You ready to see those little girls, mama?"
Lucy nods and then pauses, shaking her head.
"Yes. No.I don't know."
Tim chuckles as he tightens his grip on her hand.
"Well, ready or not…"
Lucy nods again, a little hysterically, and then glances back to wave at Angela before she's wheeled from the room.
Ready or not,Tim thinks, his heart pounding as Lucy is wheeled quickly to the elevator and then into the operating room they'd had prepared. Here we go!
Notes:
Ooooh we get to meet Amelia and Ayla soooon!
Sorry for the long wait (again). I appreciate all of the continued love and support as I struggle with my mental health. Things are looking up, but I'm cautious because these things tend to come in waves. Hopefully I'll be able to update again soon!
Kudos and comments make smile! ️
Chapter 51
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Lucy
Because of who she is as a person, Lucy hadthoroughlyresearched c-sections during her months-long bed rest. She'd known it was a possibility with twins and an even greater possibility with a complicated pregnancy, but nothing she had read prepared her for the reality of what would happen.
Everything isfast.
She's wheeled into the operating room with a whole team of doctors, some for her and some for her babies when they're born. There are two little incubators already prepped, along with a whole cart of tinier than she'd ever imagined medical equipment for the twins, including breathing masks smaller than her palm.
Tim is allowed in the operating room with her, all gowned and masked up, and in less than ten minutes she's hooked up to all the machines, has been given a spinal block (which is trippy asfuck,she cannot feel anything below her waist) and a screen is thrown up between her chest and abdomen so she can't see what they're doing.
"All right, Lucy," Dr. Fowler says, popping behind the screen to offer Lucy an encouraging smile. "Are you ready to meet your little girls?"
Lucy swallows and reaches for Tim's hand, squeezing it tightly as she nods.
"Yes," she whispers, though her voice doesn't sound nearly as certain as she'd like it to.
"We're going to open you up and take Baby A first. Amelia," he says, meeting her eye and speaking in a slow, even tone, trying to keep her calm even as he describes what's about to happen. "She's in the anterior position, ready to meet mommy and daddy. They'll let you see her for a moment, probably, as she's the more stable of the two, but then they'll whisk her away for assessment in the NICU."
"Okay," Lucy whispers, nodding as she swallows around the lump in her throat.
"Next, we'll take Baby B. Ayla," he continues, his smile slightly more forced than before. "She's measuring really small, so they're going to take her right away. It might sound and look scary while they assess her breathing, and there's a large chance she'll be intubated and put on a ventilator. We've been giving her medication to mature her lungs, but she's probably going to need a considerable amount of help. You won't hear her cry, and she'll be taken away pretty quickly."
Lucy nods again, tears sliding unchecked down her cheeks as the reality is laid out before her.
She'sthankful,of course, that the hospital is so prepared to help care for her babies, but the fact that she's likely not even going to be able tosee them…
Tim leans over and kisses her forehead, and Lucy can tell from the moisture on his lips that he's been crying, too.
"Okay," she whispers again, nodding despite the way she wants to just grab her babies andrun."Thank you."
Dr. Fowler nods and then winks before disappearing behind the curtain.
Lucy turns and catches Tim's gaze, and though she can't manage words in that moment, she knows that he understands.
Healwaysunderstands her.
"You've got this, baby," Tim murmurs, kissing her knuckles as he presses his forehead to hers and breathes into the silence. Lucy closes her eyes and tries to focus onhimand the press of his forehead against hers instead of the sensations they'd warned her about as they cut her open.
Not pain, necessarily, but morepullingandpressure.
It's …weird.
"Almost there, Lucy," Dr. Fowler says, his deep baritone comforting. "You're gonna feel some tugging and pulling, but it shouldn't hurt. Let me know if it hurts."
"Okay," Lucy whispers, nodding even though Dr. Fowler can't see her. She braces herself but she barely feels anything before the room erupts into movement.
"Baby A is out," one of the nurses says, and Lucy hears a tiny, weak cry as they cut her cord and immediately whisk her away. She turns her head, eyes wide and wet as nurses and doctors surround her barely-crying baby.
"Tim," she whispers, then again, louder, to break him from the trance he's stuck in."Tim."
"W-what?" he stutters, shaking his head as he tears his gaze away from where they'd taken Amelia.
"Go to her," she says, pulling her hand from his and pushing weakly at him. "Go be with her, please."
Tim nods and swallows, and then stumbles over to where the doctors are assessing their first daughter.
"Time for Ayla to come out now," Dr. Fowler continues, and Lucy sucks in a deep, steadying breath before she nods.
Ayla.
Her little fighter.
There's more tugging and pulling and thennothingbut a feeling of emptiness.
Ayla doesn't cry.
She doesn't even make a single peep.
The operating room explodes into chaos as the second team of NICU doctors and nurses take her second daughter from Dr. Fowler, her tiny little warrior, and begin assessing her.
"Her oxygen is critically low—"
"Breathing is labored—"
"Skin is cyanotic—"
"Heart sounds good—"
"Let's get her intubated. Give me the scope and an ET tube."
Lucy swallows, her eyes trained on the team of doctors and nurses surrounding her babies.
"Tim," she whispers, wanting him to be with herandfor him to be with their babies.
He doesn't hear her, doesn't move away from where Amelia is being weighed and assessed, and Lucy closes her eyes, her chest tight and her head pounding as she listens to the eb and flow of instructions and observations, the murmuring of the doctors sewing her up.
"Tim," she tries again, and this time hedoeshear her.
"Amelia has an APGAR score of 6," he murmurs, his cheeks wet as he moves back to her side, taking her hand and pressing a wet kiss to her palm. "Her heart rate is a little slow and her breathing labored, so they're going to take her to the NICU. They said… they said you could see her, though, for just a second."
Just as Tim finishes speaking one of the nurses walks over, a little bundle wrapped in a hospital blanket in her arms.
"Hey, momma," the nurse murmurs, smiling softly as she guides the baby to the crook of Lucy's neck. "Daddy tells me this little one is Amelia. She's 3 pounds, 9 ounces, and she's doing pretty damn good considering her size, but shedoesneed just a little bit of help. She's stable enough for you to say hi, though."
"Hey, baby," Lucy whispers, sucking in a breath as Amelia's warm, soft skin is suddenly pressed to her cheek. She can't see much past the comically large nasal cannula taped to Amelia's tiny cheeks, but shecansee that she has strikingly blue eyes and a head full of dark hair. Her skin is red and blotchy and she's whimpering softly which Lucy knows is a good sign. "Hi, baby. Hi. I'm your mommy."
Tim sobs openly beside her, his eyes glued to his daughter and his hand clutching hers so tightly that itaches.
"We need to go," one of the doctors murmurs, and the nurse nods as she begins to move Amelia away from Lucy.
"Wait!" Lucy cries out, hiccuping on a sob as she reaches for her baby.
"We need to take her to the NICU," the nurse apologizes, and Lucy nods as she reaches to run her finger down her daughter's cheek.
Her beautiful, perfect,tinydaughter.
She wants more than anything to take Amelia into her arms, to guide her to her breast and bond with her skin to skin likeothermothers get to do, but all she's allowed is a quick touch and then she's gone, whisked away in an incubator that seems much scarier than she knows it is.
Lucy stares after her for a long moment and then turns her attention back to the second team of doctors, her heart breaking all over again when she realizes that her second daughter, hersmallerdaughter, hasn't even made a single sound.
"Ayla," she gasps, and Tim nods, kissing her knuckles before he's running off again, this time hovering around their second daughter's team.
Lucy stares, helpless, as they wait for information, sobbing softly as her doctors sew her abdomen back together.
It seems like years later that Tim finally walks back over, his eyes wet and his cheeks red.
"She's… stable," he says, running a hand across his face. "APGAR score of 4. She's… she's intubated. Her skin isn't so blue anymore, but they said…"
He trails off, unable to continue past the lump in his throat, but one of the nurses, an older, heavyset woman, takes over as the others begin to wheel the second incubator out of the operating room.
"Hey, momma," she murmurs, smiling as she sits at Lucy's side and takes her hand. "My name is Faye and I'm gonna be one of your baby's nurses in the NICU. She's 2 pounds, 1 ounce, and she's a fighter if I ever saw one. She tried to tear her own intubation tube out once we got it in."
Lucy laughs, a wet sound, and then nods as she watches Faye, desperate for more information,anyinformation about her baby.
"She never cried," Tim whispers, and Faye nods.
"Her breathing wasn't great fresh out of the womb," she murmurs. "She was cyanotic, which just means her skin was blue from the lack of oxygen. Once we got her intubated she started pinking up right away. Her lungs just aren't developed enough to do all the work yet. She stabilized once we got her some help, though, which is good. The first 24 to 48 hours are critical. We typically refer to the first few hours of life as thehoneymoon period,though, so we're going to keep a very careful eye on her. Some premature babies can go downhill after those first few hours, but I can tell this one's a fighter."
"Ayla," Lucy says, blinking away a fresh wave of tears. "Her name is Ayla. It meansbearer of light."
"That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," Faye says, smiling as she pats Lucy's hand reassuringly. "Bright blue eyes, head full of dark hair."
"Her daddy's eyes," Lucy says.
Tim, still holding her hand, chokes on a sob.
"Can he go with you? To be with them?" Lucy asks, turning to glance at Tim before returning her gaze to Faye. "So that they're not alone?"
Faye nods. "Of course, honey. And once they've got you up and moving around, you can go see them, too."
"I should stay with you, Lucy," Tim argues, but Lucy shakes her head.
"I'm fine," she says, though she feels lightheaded as she turns her gaze to Tim. "Go with Faye. Go… go and be with our babies. I'll be fine."
Tim glances between her and Dr. Fowler, unsure, his expression torn.
"Is she…?"
Dr. Fowler smiles as he nods from the other side of the curtain. "We're just finishing up here. We'll get her settled into a recovery room where she'll be monitored for a few hours to make sure there are no complications, and then we'll get her set up on the floor."
"Okay," Tim murmurs, nodding as he turns back to Lucy. "All right… okay, I'll go be with them."
Faye stands and motions toward the door, and suddenly Tim looks unsure again.
"Now?"
Lucy closes her eyes as Faye nods.
She doesn't want him to leave, it's thelast thingshe wants, but she doesn't want their little girls to be alone, especially if…
Well, just in case.
"It's okay," she whispers, forcing a smile even though all she wants to do is cry. "Go, Tim. Go and be with our babies."
Tim nods again, leans down and kisses her fiercely, and then slides his hand from hers quickly as if he's worried he might never let her go if he doesn't do itnow.
"I love you," he whispers.
Lucy lets her eyes slide closed as he stands to walk away with Faye.
"Love you, too."
Tim stares at her for another long moment and then turns and walks out the door, and Lucy blows out a breath as all the tears she'd been holding back come rushing out full force. She's sobbing loud and hard, her chestachingwith emotion as the reality that she'salonehits herhard.
Dr. Fowler comes out from behind the curtain, peeling off bloody gloves and tossing them into the trash before he sits in the seat Tim has just vacated.
"I know it's hard, Lucy," he murmurs, an encouraging hand on her shoulder. "But you're gonna get through this, okay? Your babies arestrong.They werefighting.And before you know it you'll be up and about and parked right at their bedside, okay?"
"O-Okay," she whispers, nodding even though it doesn't feel likeanythingwill be okay ever again.
Dr. Fowler smiles and squeezes her shoulder, and as the curtain is pulled down and she's wheeled out of the operating room, Lucy closes her eyes and cries, her whole entire heart, herfamily,all the way across the hospital from her.
Notes:
Kudos and comments make me smile!
Hoping the next update will be out a little quicker!
Chapter 52
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter fornotes.)
Chapter Text
Tim
Leaving Lucy alone in the operating room is, hands down, the hardest thing Tim has ever done.
It's harder, even, than when he'd walked away from her in that damn parking lot all those months ago.
"Go,"she'd begged, and he'd given in because he knows, now that their baby girls have entered the world, that Lucy isn't his only priority anymore. And, more than that, Lucy hadwanted himto go be with their girls.
Theirgirls.
Ayla and Amelia.
He nearly turns around a hundred times on the way to the NICU, but once he's standing there, once he's standing in front ofhis babies,he doesn't think even a herd of wild horses could drag him away.
Amelia is settled in first. Her little incubator is hooked up to the wires and tubes coming from the wall and then she's left alone while the nurses move toward Ayla's bed. From what Tim can see, Amelia has only a few wires connected to her little body. There's a nasal cannula in her nose, an Sp02 monitor taped to her teeny tiny little toe, and a few leads connecting her to the heart monitor, but for the most part, Tim can see her beautiful face clearly.
Bright blue eyes.
Dark, messy hair.
Two tiny, perfect lips opened in an 'O' as she yawns and then begins kicking her little feet in much the same way she had when she'd been inside of Lucy's belly.
"Hey, Amelia," he murmurs, feeling tears welling in his eyes once again as Amelia immediately turns to his voice, her eyes blinking as she wraps her fingers around one of her heart monitor wires and tugs, nearly pulling the tape from her skin with her strength. "Hi, baby. I'm your daddy."
Amelia makes a tiny little squeaking noise and Tim laughs, wanting more than anything to reach inside of her incubator and touch her.
Tohold her.
"I love you," he whispers, and then he's tearing his eyes away from his oldest daughter to look for Ayla.
He finds her easily, her incubator the one surrounded by the majority of the nurses and doctors in the unit. They're murmuring in low voices, and the only thing that keeps Tim from completely panicking is the steady beeping from the machines that she's hooked up to.
Once he's close enough, though, his breath catches.
He'd seen her when they'd pulled her out of Lucy, but he hadn't reallyseen her.
She'sso small,barely the length of his arm from his wrist to his elbow. Her little arms and legs are stick thin, her skin bright red and her beautiful little face obscured by the ventilator she's hooked up to. There's an IV in her head, the tape sticking to her beautiful, dark hair, and the wires surrounding her body seem double what Amelia is hooked up to.
"I know it looks scary," Faye says, appearing at Tim's elbow as he watches the doctors take notes and whisper about her condition. "But she's in good hands and, like I said, she's a fighter. She's stable for now, holding her sats and blood pressure."
Tim nods, swallowing thickly as he watches Ayla's arms fly outward, her startle reflex engaged as one of the doctors repositions her on the warming blankets she's been laid on.
"They're going to put in a feeding tube immediately and start feeding her a mix of mama's milk, if she's going to pump, that is, and high calorie formula. One of our first main goals is to keep her from losing weight, which most newborns do. We want to keep her above that two pound mark."
"Okay," Tim whispers, nodding, and then, "And, um, Lucyisgoing to pump. Once she's… once she's able to. She already … she planned everything out, researched the best pumps and everything."
Faye smiles softly.
"Good. That will be so good for Ayla and Amelia, to help them grow big and strong. Now, Daddy, take a seat."
Tim turns to meet Faye's gaze, confused, but then feels his eyes widening as Faye walks over to Amelia's incubator and opens it.
"Ayla isn't stable enough for kangaroo care yet," she says, tossing Tim a wink over her shoulder as she begins moving wires and tubes. "But Amelia is, and the sooner skin-to-skin kangaroo care is started, the better the outcomes for premature infants. So, sit."
Tim swallows but nods, quickly dropping into the chair Faye points to. He pulls his phone from his pocket and places it on the armrest of the chair he's in so that it's easily accessible, and then shrugs out of his t-shirt.
"Lucy… I-I need to go down and see Lucy soon," he says, eyeing Faye cautiously as she slides both hands under Amelia, one under her little skull and one under her butt. She lifts the tiny baby and swings her around carefully, and before Tim really knows what's happening her warm little body is resting on his chest and Faye is guiding one of his hands under her diapered butt to support her while the other cups her entire back.
Amelia lets out an adorable little baby sigh, flexes her arms out, and then pulls them back close to her chest as she settles into the warmth of her daddy's hands. She stares up at Tim with bright blue eyes, and he feels his own fill with tears as she blinks sleepily at him and then yawns widely.
"Oh,"Tim whispers, and Faye chuckles softly as she grabs his phone and opens the camera, snapping a few pictures as Tim stares at his little daughter in wonder.
"Kangaroo care is recommended as soon as the infant can tolerate it foras longas the infant can tolerate it," Faye murmurs as she places a blanket over Amelia and Tim's chest. "Lucy will be in recovery for a few hours and they don't like visitors in recovery. For now, hold your daughter. I'll call down and see how Lucy is doing, and once she's settled on the floor, you can go to her while Amelia's feeding tube and IV are placed."
Tim nods, ignoring the tears trailing down his cheeks as he counts Amelia's breaths. Her little chest expands against his hand, and he'd known that having children would be life changing butnothinghad prepared him for this.
His entire worldshifts,and all of a sudden his priorities revolve completely around the little girl in his arms, her sister only a few feet away, and their mother two floors down.
Nothing else matters anymore.
"Hey, baby."
Lucy turns and tries to discreetly wipe her eyes as Tim announces his presence, but even if she'd managed to wipe away the tears, the redness and puffiness still remain.
It's clear that she's spent the last several hours crying, and Tim's heartbreaksfor her because as much as he wants to make everything okay, he can't.
He can't bring her to their girls, or their girls to her.
He can't evenstay,because he knows Amelia and Ayla need him just as much as Lucy does.
"How are they?" Lucy asks, as if Tim hadn't called her ten minutes ago to update her on the girl's condition.
"They're doing good," he murmurs, smiling as he walks toward her and sits on the edge of her bed, careful not to jostle her.
He'll tell her one day about how utterlyhorrifyingher surgery had been, but he knows she doesn't need the gory details right now. Right now all she needs is pain medication and for him to not hurt her on accident by trying to get too close.
"Amelia is doing great and is a little spitfire. She wasdefinitelythe one kicking the shit out of your ribs the past few weeks. Keeps tugging on her wires and kicking her Sp02 monitor so hard it stops reading for a moment."
Lucy laughs, and Tim's smile grows as he sees the sparkle return to her eyes, the same sparkle that had gone out the second their baby girls were taken away from them a few short hours ago.
"Ayla is stable. She's so little, Lucy, but every single nurse has said she's a fighter. I guess babies that small aren't usually very alert, but she's barely slept. She's been wide awake, taking everything in and making her displeasure known. She can't make noise because of the tubes, but if shecouldscream, she'd bring the house down."
Lucy sniffles and wipes at her eyes as Tim pulls out his phone and unlocks it. She leans forward to get a better look and groans in pain, and Tim moves quickly, jumping off of the bed and pressing gently on her shoulder to make her lay back down.
"Woah, Luce, be careful. You just hadmajorsurgery. Lay down.Rest.I took lots of pictures and videos for you."
Lucy nods, her eyes closed as she breathes slowly through her nose for a few moments, likely trying to quell the nausea that Tim knows comes with post-surgery pain.
"Here," Tim murmurs, pulling the bedside chair as close as he can before he drops down into it. He hands Lucy his phone after clicking on the first video, and he alternates between watching Lucy and watching the videos of their babies on the screen.
Once she gets to the end of the ones Tim had taken she immediately goes back to the first, and Tim feels his heart breaking all over again as he watches the tears slide down her cheeks.
"Lucy," he murmurs, standing and pressing his lips to her forehead. "Oh, baby, you're breaking my heart."
She sniffles and turns to meet his gaze, her big, brown eyes wet and wide.
"I want to see them," she sobs, her lip trembling as she tears her eyes away from his and focuses back on the video of Amelia tugging on her Sp02 wire while kicking her thin little legs against the edge of her warming blankets. "I want tohold them.I want my babies, Tim.I want my babies."
"I know," Tim whispers, holding her as best as he can without hurting her or disturbing her wires. "I know, Luce. I know.God,I wish I could fix this for you."
Lucy sniffles and tucks her head into Tim's neck, not caring about the awkward position as she scrolls back to the first video for a third time.
"I don't want them to be alone," she whispers, flicking to the photos Faye had taken of Amelia on Tim's chest. "You should go. You should go be with them."
Tim shakes his head, burying his face in Lucy's hair as he holds her tighter, his arm wrapped awkwardly around her shoulder.
"No, I should… I should be withyoufor a while, Luce.Youshouldn't be alone, either."
Lucy rubs at her nose and puts Tim's phone down as she shakes her head.
"No, I want you… I want you to be with them, Tim. They're only a few hours old and all they knows is wires and machines and nurses and doctors who aren't their daddy. They need you more than I do."
Tim sighs, pulling away and running a hand down his own weary face.
"Let me call Angela, get her here to sit with you," he murmurs. He reaches for his phone and ignores the little pain in his heart as Lucy whimpers at the loss of the videos and photos he's taken. He dials quickly, leaning down to press his lips to Lucy's hair as the phone rings.
Angela picks up quickly and Tim updates her in as few words as he's capable of, telling her about both of the girls and the surgery and then requesting he come sit with Lucy while he goes back to the twins.
"I'll be up in just a few minutes,"she promises, and Tim nods as he listens to the opening of her car door and then the slamming just a few moments later."I never left; I figured you'd need backup. I updated everyone, though, while Lucy was in surgery, and they're just waiting for the all clear to visit."
Tim turns to Lucy and sees his own thoughts reflected in her expression. "We're… we're not ready for that just yet. Just you and Genny, for now."
"I get it,"Angela murmurs."It was a lot for me when Jack and Emmy were born, but with babies in the NICU… I can't even imagine. I'll tell everyone to send well wishes and gifts, but to hold off on visiting for now."
"Thank you for heading that," Tim says, sighing as he takes Lucy's hand into hers and holds it tightly. "I don't think either of us is capable of keeping everyone updated right now."
"That's what best friends are for,"Angela says, chuckling."I'm in the elevator. Be there in a minute."
Tim thanks her and hangs up, and then leans down to kiss Lucy softly on the lips.
"And you'resureyou want me to go?"
Lucy nods, sniffling as she reaches for her own phone.
"Yeah, I'll be okay. I want our girls to have their daddy with them."
Tim kisses her again, his large hand cupping her cheek, and then pulls back to rest his forehead on hers.
"I'll FaceTime you once I'm up there," he promises. "You can sing to them. They always calmed down so fast when you sang to them while you were pregnant."
Lucy nods, clutching her own phone tightly in her hand as Tim walks backward toward the door, not breaking eye contact. He fuckinghatesthat he has to leave her, but he knows that, soon, they'll all be together again, their perfect little family.
"I love you," Lucy whispers.
Tim smiles sadly at her as he pauses in the doorway.
"Love you, babe. I'll FaceTime as soon as I'm there, okay?"
Lucy nods and Tim turns, bypassing the elevator and taking the stairs three at a time to the NICU.
He's already dialing Lucy's phone number as he approaches the NICU, a smile on his face because despite the fact that this isn't how either he or Lucy hadeverplanned on having babies, both of their girls arehereandaliveand that has to count for something.
"Hi."
Tim glances down at his phone as it connects to see both Lucy and Angela in the frame, Lucy's face less red and swollen and her tears dry at least for the moment.
"Almost there," he says, flipping his camera so they're not staring at him, but instead straight ahead into the NICU. "Amelia and Ayla are right next to each other, and Amelia has been transferred into a bassinet instead of the incubator. Here, hold on, let me…"
He trails off as he walks through the doors of the NICU, though, his heart falling all the way into his stomach as he listens to the long, solid beeping noise of the monitor above Amelia's bed and watches as doctors and nurses alike swarm her bassinet.
Oh, god.
Notes:
Send a wish and a prayer to whatever deities you believe in that this motivation and update speed continues.
Hoping to update Geese next, and then Zombies. (Zombies has to come last bc someone was mean about my "depression" in a comment and I'm still being petty about it).
Kudos and comments make me smile!