AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is the longest chapter yet. It took some reworking to get it to a place I was happy with and now it's among my personal favourites in this story so far. Hope you like it.

TW: The trigger warning from last chapter (regarding mental health and trauma-recovery themes) applies to this chapter too.

Chapter 10

"An… an avenger?" Sakura repeated, her mouth drying and her eyes flying around the room with new perspective. Suddenly, everything about it appeared more sinister, more imposing, and more confusing.

Because that didn't explain why her attackers were connected to a place like this, potentially driven by a thirst for vengeance, against something, or someone – potentially even herself.

Sweat drops lined her brow. Had she been caught up in someone's revenge plot by accident? What exactly had she stumbled into, back in that forest?

A loud snap and thunk echoed through the tunnel behind them.

Followed by a shout.

Sakura whirled around, brandishing the lantern towards the dark path through which they had come. "Someone's upstairs!" she gasped.

Sasuke cursed. "That sounded like a trap firing," he said and leaping into the tunnel, Sharingan activated. Sakura raced after him, heart hammering. While it was a shame their investigation was cut short, she'd memorized the contents of the medical bill on the desk, which at least gave them something to mull over later.

Back on the main level, they found three people huddled on the ground, cowering with their hands over their heads.

Just lost civilians, Sakura deduced after a brief assessment of their demeanors. With the genjutsu lifted, this place was defenseless against curious, prowling tourists looking to explore.

A kunai was wedged in the ground beside them, thankfully appearing to have missed whoever had set the trap off.

"What the hell is this place?!" a thin girl with green cargo pants and a blue pixie-cut whimpered. She scrambled away from the kunai.

And, unknowingly, towards another trap.

A cry of warning was on the tip of Sakura's tongue, but in an instant, Sasuke vanished and reappeared across the room, in front of the girl with his sword poised to parry the next kunai barreling towards her. The civilians screamed with surprise.

He used his Amenotejikara ability, Sakura thought, noting the stone beside her that Sasuke had swapped places with. It was a draining dōjutsu feat, but given the urgency of their predicament, Sakura couldn't fault him for using it.

"Sasuke!" she called. "You get them out of here. I'll tidy up."

She began with the tunnel opening, by heaving the heavy stones back to the way they'd found them, concealing the entrance. Next, Sakura collected the kunai and reset the traps as best she could, hoping the place's inhabitant wouldn't notice they'd been tampered with.

While recasting the genjutsu over the building, trying to replicate the original one as closely as possible, the sound of raised voices caught her attention, from somewhere near the mountain trail's end.

Sure enough, that was where she found everyone, gathered beside a stream winding through the mountain's base, with Sasuke standing near the civilians, his back facing them.

Everyone appeared in one piece.

But something was off.

Sakura's heart pounded as she approached. Before she could inquire about their wellbeing, one of the civilians, a short guy with bleach blonde hair, took a bold step towards Sasuke and spat on the ground near his feet.

Sasuke didn't react.

"Hey! Wha–?!" Sakura started, her fingers curling into fists.

But Sasuke raised his hand in warning, signaling Sakura to back off. "They're safe," he confirmed sternly. "Let's go."

However, his refusal to engage emboldened the girl with the blue pixie cut. "That's right. Get the fuck out of here, Uchiha," she sneered.

"You..," Sakura hissed, but in a flash, Sasuke was blocking her view of the civilians and firmly gripping her arm.

"We're done here," he snapped. He gave Sakura a light shove in the other direction, towards the valley opposite the mountain base.

Too shocked to resist, Sakura stumbled along while her mind swirled with bewildered rage.

But they'd only made it a few paces when the blue-haired girl snarled quietly, "I wish he was dead like the rest of them."

Sakura froze. What did she just say?

Chakra rippled down her arms. Civilian status be damned, that girl was in for it.

Before Sakura could act on her urges, however, she realized that Sasuke was gone.

She whirled around, just in time to spot him disappearing into the valley. "Hey! Wait!" she called, but he ventured on at full speed without acknowledging her, leaving Sakura no choice but to swallow her fury and pursue him.

Having not yet agreed on their next destination, it was unclear where Sasuke was leading them. He didn't give Sakura any time to ponder it either because he was moving at an incredibly fast pace. Her head spun as she poured her concentration into tracking Sasuke's black cloak weaving through the tall grass.

Sakura had gathered that the civilians had recognized Sasuke, perhaps when she'd said his name, and likely held a grudge against something from his, or his family's, past. The Uchiha clan's history was a complicated one at best, and a treacherous, corrupted one at worst, after all, so whatever hatred they'd brewed may have been warranted, at some point in time.

But Sasuke was not his family – hell, he wasn't even his old self – and it pained Sakura to know that some people still harbored such animosity towards him.

Especially considering how Sasuke had just saved them from those traps.

And, a year ago, had saved the whole damn world.

Every bone in Sakura's body wanted to turn back and defend Sasuke's honour, to prove he wasn't the person those people thought he was, and ask them to give him a chance, but the more pressing task at hand was not losing track of Sasuke altogether.

He finally stopped running when they reached a patch of forest on the other side of the valley, several miles from the town. By then, the sun had begun its descent, slipping in and out of view behind a blanket of grey overcast and tall treetops.

"Seems like a good spot to find shelter," Sakura observed through heavy breaths.

Sasuke slowed to a walk but didn't respond as he carried on, pushing aside tangles of branches.

She swallowed and tried another angle to spark conversation. "Well, the good news is that medical bill gave us two potential leads. We could check out the Land of Iron, where the person died. Or we could go to their hometown."

But none of this piqued Sasuke's interest.

Sakura frowned. Sasuke wasn't a particularly talkative person, but this behaviour was unusual, even for him. He seemed on-edge since their hostile encounter with the civilians, and rightfully so.

"Does that happen a lot?" she asked.

Still, he didn't acknowledge her.

Her chest tightened. "Do you… ever stand up to people like that, or is that how it usually goes out here?" she tried again.

Sasuke finally glanced at her. His eyes held a callousness that turned her stomach. "If that made you uncomfortable, go home," he challenged.

"That's not..," Sakura bristled, her frustration mounting. She swatted away an unsuspecting branch and added, "Don't you want to show them you aren't the person they think you are? You're just going to let them believe lies about you?"

He came to a stop but didn't look at her this time. "Lies?"

Sakura paused. "Well, yeah. I don't know what that girl was thinking when she said… when she said she wished you were…"

She found herself unable to vocalize the vile comment.

"Was she so wrong to wish that?"

A quiet moment passed, save the whispers of foliage rustling, and birds softly chirping, while Sakura processed Sasuke's remark, her heart in her throat. "D-don't say that," she stammered. "Of course she was."

But Sasuke had already resumed his trek into the woods and didn't seem to hear her.

Their evening became a delicate balance of respecting Sasuke's obvious desire for space, and Sakura's intuition to not leave him alone.

He'd barely looked at or spoken to her since selecting a spot to set up camp – a grassy patch hidden under a canopy of low trees and shrubs. Sasuke busied himself with curating and tending to a small fire without initiating conversation or reacting to Sakura's lame attempts for small talk.

So, they ate in tense silence, with all of the camaraderie they'd built during their time together no where to be seen.

All the while, Sakura observed him, her heart breaking, as she puzzled over how to reach the place where his mind had gone.

In the dead of night, with hours until sunrise, Sasuke sat abruptly.

Sakura, whose worries had prevented her from achieving a deep sleep, mirrored the motion and drew a kunai from the weapon pouch strapped to her thigh.

She blinked through the darkness, scanning for intruders or traces of chakra, but came up short.

Perplexed, she turned to Sasuke, whose form was illuminated by the waning, red embers of the fire pit, still seated on his sleeping mat. Upon closer inspection, Sakura realized he was gripping his left arm, just above the site of his amputation, his eyes squeezed closed in visible distress.

No stranger to the signs of a person in pain, Sakura's heart jumped as she dropped the knife and scrambled to his side.

"What is it?" she asked while dabbing sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of her sweater.

But he didn't notice her.

Nor did he move from his hunched position, gripping his bicep, when Sakura checked and double-checked his vital signs for the source of his affliction.

But everything checked out, besides a slightly elevated heartrate.

"Sasuke?" she asked gently. "Are you—"

"Stop..," Sasuke mumbled and bringing his hand up to run through and grip his hair.

Sakura froze.

"Stop it… brother."

Oh.

Sakura was struck by a jolt of understanding, the nature of his pain coming into clearer focus.

"H-he's not here," Sakura said as tears welled in her eyes. "We're in a forest near Kusa. It's just us," she added, trying to draw him back from wherever his thoughts had taken him.

Tentatively, she reached for his hand and coaxed it down from his hair, into hers. "Did you have a dream about him?"

Sasuke released a shaky breath. His hand was slick with sweat and rested limply against her palm. "Don't know," he mumbled as he blinked towards the ground with unfocused eyes.

"You might feel a little better if you concentrate on your senses. Like the things you can hear and feel right now," she offered softly, and tracing patterns on the back of his hand, hoping to ground him a little.

In a soothing tone, she spoke about the sights and smells around them – crickets chirping, stars winking, leaves rustling – and repeated reassurances that he was safe, that she was there, and Itachi wasn't. While he didn't respond to any of it and his hand remained slack, his heartrate slowed as the minutes stretched on.

Awhile later, with a drawn-out exhale, he bowed his head and his eyelids slipped closed.

"Let's get some sleep," she whispered.

Sasuke nodded groggily as Sakura helped him back under his blanket.

He rolled onto his side, eyes closed and brow creased, while his fingers finally responded and curled around Sakura's hand.

She wiggled her own fingers, hoping to retreat without rousing him, but quickly realized that doing so would require some amount of effort. His grip was too tight.

Oh. Okay. It's fine. I'll just…

I'll just… sleep right here then.

Sakura's free hand brushed aside the heap of twigs and leaves below her, then she settled onto the hard earth beside his sleeping mat.

As she too drifted into a slumber, she wondered just how many of Sasuke's nights were like this, out here alone. Sakura herself had experienced her share of nightmares and moments of anxiety, which unfortunately were not uncommon things in their line of work.

But she ventured to guess that Sasuke's were amongst the very worst of them, with the kinds of things he'd seen and the kind of life he'd had.

Sakura woke with leaves pressed to her face, a crick in her neck, and a blanket draped over her.

She rose slowly, yawning and stretching her arms over her head, then brushing away the strands of hair caught in her mouth. It was a chilly morning, with a damp, soft layer of fog blanketing their campsite. Sasuke was no where in sight, having likely woken up before she had.

She was just considering whether she ought to search for him, while soothing the ache in her neck with medical chakra, when Sasuke emerged from the trees, dressed in his travelling clothes and towing his packed bag. He looked as put-together as he usually did and wore a carefully blank expression when their eyes met.

If it weren't for the position Sakura had woken in this morning, she might have wondered if she'd dreamed the previous night's events.

In as casual a tone as she could muster up, Sakura said, "Morning" – keen to show that she didn't see him any differently after what had happened.

Sasuke nodded and averted his eyes before working on scattering the remnants of their fire pit, to cover their tracks.

Sakura took that as her cue to get started with her day too, by folding up Sasuke's blanket and crawling over to her abandoned sleeping mat to pack it away.

She felt Sasuke's eyes return to her. He looked like he wanted to say something.

So, Sakura cut to the chase.

Keeping her gaze on her task, she said, "Unless you want to, we don't have to talk about it."

Sasuke inhaled sharply through his nose. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't –"

But Sakura would have none of it. He hadn't done anything wrong.

She interrupted, dismissively, "If you try to apologize for what happened, I will use chakra next time we arm wrestle." Then she rooted through her bag for her toothbrush and clothes.

Sasuke was still for awhile, like he was considering challenging her.

But in the end, he yielded, and didn't say another word.

As anticipated, Sasuke was distant as the day stretched on, though, at the very least, Sakura had managed to converse with him enough to agree on the next leg of their investigation.

Since the lair's inhabitant didn't seem to spend much time in the building they'd just searched, they agreed to move on and pursue one of the leads indicated on the medical bill.

Sakura had expressed a preference to investigate Land of Iron, the place of the person's death, where she might speak with the doctors who had treated the patient.

But Sasuke did not share her view.

"Let's try the hometown first," he'd said, a rare display of rebuttal against Sakura's ideas for the investigation.

She swallowed down a flash of self-doubt. As hard as Sakura was working to regain her footing in the ninja arts, Sasuke was simply a more seasoned ninja with sharper instincts, so she was inclined to trust his judgment.

She also didn't want to upset the fragility that had tainted their relationship since leaving the enemy's lair.

And so, she agreed. Their next stop would be the township of Adakite, which Sasuke determined was somewhere deep in Earth country and about a three-week journey from their current location.

However, despite their reinvigorated focus on the investigation, Sasuke's mind was not through with him yet.

He woke the following night, once again sitting bolt upright on his sleeping mat.

But something was different this time. When Sakura approached him, he focused his panicked stare directly on her, very much aware of her presence.

At first, Sakura wondered if this was progress, if he was more lucid.

But then, he breathed, "You're okay?" and reached towards her with his left arm.

Of course, the arm did not reach her. He winced as a shock of pain wracked through him, and gaped at his severed left arm with alarm.

Sakura's heart sank at the confirmation that Sasuke was still very much deep in the clutches of his nightmares. A nightmare in which, perhaps, he had two arms.

And, perhaps, she was in danger.

"Yeah. I'm okay," she choked out, trying to keep her voice steady for him, but tears collecting in her eyes nonetheless.

Sasuke's own eyes swam in and out of focus, a trace of red flickering in his right iris.

Sakura inhaled deeply and continued. "I think you're having phantom limb pain," she said and gently placing her hand just above the site of his injury. His eyes followed the motion, gazing at his arm like he was seeing it for the first time.

"Don't worry – you're not hurt, not anymore. Your brain is just trying to rearrange its sensory signals, which can be triggered by things like really bad stress. But… the pain you're feeling is completely real." She moved her fingers in a gentle caress. "I know a treatment that might help. Can I try?"

Sakura's heart leapt when Sasuke gave a reluctant nod.

Green chakra bloomed in her palm and rippled across his arm, awakening the nerves with a soothing nudge of medical chakra. "This is called neurostimulation," Sakura explained. "To help your nerves remember. And relax."

He watched the procedure in a transfixed stupor, his heartrate slowing and breathing evening out as the minutes stretched on.

When Sakura retreated her hand, Sasuke closed his eyes and massaged his forehead with shaky fingers.

"I'm tired," he admitted quietly, his words heavy with raw exhaustion.

"I know," Sakura said, and resisting her urge to reach for him again. "Sleep will help," she encouraged, because whether he was tired physically, or of these nightmares, or of being in his own mind, or any combination of those things, one thing was certain: his brain needed to rest.

But, to her surprise, Sasuke rolled out from under his blanket and got to his feet.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Sasuke fetched her sleeping mat and dragged it over, depositing it next to his. Then, he climbed back into his own and closed his eyes.

"Don't sleep on the ground again."

It went on like this for another few nights.

The nighttimes were marked by moments of disoriented panic, whispered reassurances, guided breathing, and clasped hands.

In the daytimes, however, you wouldn't know the nights existed.

They never spoke of what transpired under the cover of darkness. Yet, some tension diffused as time passed and they settled into a quiet routine.

The two of them assumed unspoken roles around camp, with Sakura preferring to hunt for food and wash their things, and Sasuke gravitating towards cooking and patrolling their surroundings.

Sakura offered mindless chatter and trivia while they traversed fields and forests. Sasuke listened.

They resumed training together.

The only challenge was bedtime, which had become a strange, silent dance, with each of them knowing but not saying a thing about what would likely come to pass in the ensuing hours. And then there was the quiet standoff of how close they'd dare lay their sleeping mats to one another's.

By the fifth night, they'd given up the dance and arranged their sleeping mats flush together, a logical and efficient decision, since they were going to end up that way in the middle of the night, anyways.

Something that was getting harder to ignore as the days stretched on was Sasuke's exhaustion.

With his mind working double-time instead of resting at night, his fatigue became increasingly apparent, between uncharacteristic moments of zoning out of conversations or leaning on trees to catch his breath or massage his temples.

One day, while the both of them were sitting against a large boulder, Sakura picking away at her gruelling grant application and Sasuke perusing a book on ancient weapons, Sasuke's exhaustion came to a head.

The book slipped from his fingers as his body pitched sideways.

Sakura dropped her pen and papers and stuck out her arm to brace Sasuke's fall, just before his head collided with her shoulder. The contact jostled him awake.

He froze, apparently just as shocked by his collapse as she was.

He's at his limit, Sakura thought, her chest tightening.

"Maybe you should take a quick nap," she urged while helping him upright. "I'll keep watch while I'm working on my application."

As a testament to just how tired Sasuke was, instead of shooting her a stubborn remark, wordlessly, he unclasped his cloak, gathered it up, and lowered to the ground in that very spot, using his rolled-up cloak as a pillow and not even bothering with his sleeping mat.

He faced away from Sakura but shifted closer so that his shoulder was pressed against her outstretched leg.

Sakura watched with sad fondness and wondered if it was an unconscious thing he was doing – seeking out physical contact in order to relax. While Sasuke was the exact opposite of a clingy person in every sense of the word, she had a running private theory that he needed extra reassurance of his physical safety; that words and promises weren't enough and he preferred tactile cues that someone had his back and he could let his guard down, at least for a little while.

It was just speculation, but with each night, the theory gained more weight.

A week later, they found themselves before a roaring campfire, winding down after a long day's travel. They were propped against a broad tree trunk, having just finished their dinner of roasted fish, and waiting out the fire before calling it a night. It was dark, aside from the firelight and sprinkle of stars overhead, and the weather unseasonably chilly, their breaths coming out in cloudy puffs and Sakura's hands raised towards the flames to warm them.

"We're near a contact point," Sasuke said. "If my hawk's got any of your letters, that's where he'll bring them."

Sakura brightened. While she wasn't expecting anything from Naruto, who was on a mission, there might be news from the others. "I hope I'll get an update on the clinic," she said. "You expecting anything?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head. "You're here," he said simply.

Sakura frowned. Surely, she wasn't the only person he wrote to. "Naruto and Kakashi-sensei would love to hear from you more, you know."

He creaked open an eye and shot her a skeptical look.

"No, really," Sakura insisted, while smiling and rubbing her cold hands together. "Team Seven's like a family. Kakashi-sensei asks me about you all the time."

"Tsk," Sasuke said and rolling his eyes.

"He does," Sakura huffed. "He's more worried than he lets on. Feels like he's our parent, or something."

Sasuke frowned. "I can't picture Kakashi as a parent," he mumbled.

"Hm, okay. Maybe he's more like… the weird uncle who reads porn in public. But he still cares."

"Right," Sasuke said, his lips quirking.

Sakura chuckled to herself, shivering as a cool breeze drifted past. She inhaled the cozy scents of campfire and pine and leaned further into the tree trunk, their arms brushing at the motion.

"No doubt Naruto is the little brother we all had to raise," she continued.

"Unfortunately," Sasuke agreed.

They caught eyes and exchanged a knowing smile.

Emboldened by the moment and the cover of darkness, Sakura leaned her head against Sasuke's shoulder. She closed her eyes and took in his warmth, his sturdiness, his heartbeat, as a heavy exhaustion crept over her.

Then, with a rush of embarrassment, she realized that she might have overstepped.

Sakura was just lifting her head, preparing to retreat, when a purple hue bloomed from somewhere behind them.

Sasuke's Susanno's arm emerged, carefully gripping the corner of a thick blanket between its skeletal fingers, and wrapped it around their shoulders.

"Oh. Thank you," Sakura said softly, her face warming for reasons that had nothing to do with the blanket or the fire. Under the weight of the soft material, she hesitantly curled against Sasuke's shoulder again as the Susanoo arm fizzled away and their surroundings darkened once more.

Sakura turned her attention back to Team Seven's family structure, mainly as a distraction from the butterflies dancing in her belly. She pulled the blanket more tightly against herself and said, "And then I guess we were like… We were…"

It occurred to Sakura that she and Sasuke had never been quite like siblings. Well, at least, she'd hoped as much.

"Hm," Sasuke said after a contemplative pause. "Co-babysitters."

Sakura snorted. "That's it. Exactly."

It was hard to say how much time passed as the fire gently waned, and Sakura finally succumbed to the clutches of her fatigue, lured by the fire's soft crackle and their trapped body heat.

At some point, Sasuke's hand found hers under the blanket.

"I'm glad I'm here," Sakura whispered sleepily.

She felt the rise and fall of Sasuke's chest as he leaned the side of his face against her head.

"I'm glad I'm here, too."

That night, if Sasuke woke, she didn't notice.