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Night was falling over the wasteland that had once been the world; the clouds that had threatened to open up over the land finally bore fruit as the torrential sound of falling rain washed down from all around. Red flowers blossomed amongst the puddles as blood seeped from my wound.

My name is Casshern. I am the Man Who Slayed the Sun that was Named Moon and the one who wrought the cataclysmic ruin upon the world. Having finally confronted the reborn Luna and my old king, Braiking Boss, I had condemned myself to exile, content to be the God of Death and remind any who would forget the meaning of what it meant to truly live.

But now, I tracked lonesomely through the wastes, a solitary figure limping through the rain. Ordinarily, I should have only been able to register the cold as part of my neural network functions; but I think what made me feel it was the combination of the emanating fog of my breath, my sodden hair and clothes, and the dull ache in my side. As advanced as I was, even I would succumb if I didn't stop to rest.

Spotting a small cavern at the foot of a nearby mountain, I made my way out of the rain. However, tiredness was beginning to catch up with me as my legs gave out and sent me crashing, painfully, onto the ground. My whole body ached and my side stung as blood continued to stain the ground beneath me. Ordinarily, the special qualities in my blood would have begun to painfully stitch and repair the wound. But I wouldn't allow it, jabbing my hand painfully into my chest, making the self-destructive choice not to repair the injury.

Perhaps, somewhere deep down, I considered this penance for all of my sins. A slow, painful suicide that would make up for all the wrong I had done.

After all, there was much regret that I left behind with my exile. I regretted leaving what was left of my friend's behind; I could see Ringo's tiny, round face, already splotchy and red from the tears of burying Ouji and Lyuze. I could also see Friender, the loyal robot hound who had followed me for many months.

I regretted my failure to stop the ruin. After all, it had been by Braiking Boss's command that I had destroyed the world, and the path of atonement that I had followed had only led to more death and destruction.

As I lay there, wallowing in my self-pity, a phantom appeared before me. No, that's absurd. There was no such thing as ghosts; just a misfire of synapses in the brain, caused by bloodloss, that induced hallucinatory images as the blood deprived brain screamed for oxygen. But as real as I knew I was, so too was the woman who stood before me, droplets of rain forming at the tips of her long pink hair, piercing green eyes looking down at me with pity and sadness. My breathing now ragged, I could not tear my eyes away from her, even as the cold air stung at the tears that rolled down my face.

"I think," I choked out, to no one in particular "above everything else, I regret that I couldn't save you."

Lyuze stared at me sadly; she didn't say anything, but her pale and ghostly form clutched at her arms, a sign that she was suppressing strong emotions. Something she had done many times before.

A painful stitch in my chest garnered a pitiful whimper, unworthy of Casshern, the destroyer. Blood loss was making it harder to stay awake, my eyelids becoming heavy and darkness threatening to overtake my mind.

"Wait for me" I implored Lyuze's ghost. I knew I didn't deserve such mercy, even from a figment of my own imagination, but I couldn't help but utter the words, over and over, as consciousness faded and gave way into the abyss.

~o0o~

I don't believe in the afterlife. Logically, the probability that an afterlife, or even God for that matter, exists (especially after all that had happened) was slim to none. Pragmatically speaking, either subject was a matter of personal belief and faith…neither of which I was in much possession of. So, whether or not where I was could have been considered a dream or an afterlife is a question that I do not have an answer to. Either way, it was a memory as vivid as the sky was blue, and it was one of the happiest that I had.

It had been during that last, golden week of peace. Ouji, in his endless endeavor to create fertilizer to help grow Ringo's dream of a field of wildflowers, had heard rumors of a town not too far that had developed some form of composting that he figured would aid in making that dream a reality. After realizing that the older man wouldn't be back until the following morning, little Ringo had eagerly elected to go with him, likely believing the trip to be more fun than it actually would be. The canid robot, Friender, had gone as well, likely as a means to keep an eye on the both of them.

With the two of us alone in the house, I had asked Lyuze if there was anything she had wanted, with the time we had to ourselves. As it turned out, there had been something she had been wanting to try. Personally, I had never thought much of it; I understood the point of intercourse as far as humans were concerned. But truthfully, I had never understood why androids would be equipped with such a part of human anatomy. Perhaps it helped us to mingle better with humanity? Nevertheless, if (after everything she had done for me) that was her wish, I would gladly oblige her.

It was a strange feeling, to be out of my clothes in the darkness; the skintight suit that I wore like armor laying placidly off to the side. Beauty is a relative word, especially by robot standards. Honestly, I felt uncomfortable every time I was referred to as such. But standing there, staring at the nakedness of my beloved, even with the imperfections of ruin across her form, there was no other word more appropriate.

With a gentleness I did not know that I was capable of, I lifted my hand to her cheek, brushing it with the back of my fingers. Lyuze smiled patiently, her slender fingers touching my bare chest, leaning in close and brushed her lips against mine.

I'm not sure what had come over me in the moment, but a surge of electricity swept through me at her touch, my flaccid organ rising to the occasion. Taking her hand in my own, I arched my chin upward as I returned the kiss. Our bodies moved In unison; laying onto the makeshift bed, some fearsome beast roared up from somewhere deep inside as I positioned myself into a place of power over her.

A sudden, primal urge began to overtake me as I moved. I couldn't help myself, my mind racing as I was lost in a burst of sensations I had never experienced before; the beast roared in animalistic pride. A pained wince did gather my attention and I froze at the look of agony that contorted Lyuze's face.

As quickly as it had come, the beast retreated, and seeing just how tightly my hand was clutched around her knuckles, the very air froze in my lungs in horror. I…was hurting her? No, that wasn't—I didn't mean to…

However, her features soon began to relax as I stopped. Her piercing green eyes met with my own blue orbs, which begged her for forgiveness. Steadily I released her hand from the vice grip that had been my own and turned away from her in shame, intent on hurting her no further. But a gentleness wrapped itself around my retreating fingers. Turning my gaze back to her, Lyuze was smiling softly, her fingers curling around my own. Her gaze was welcoming and, in spite of my shame of hurting her, I turned to face her, returning her grip with equal gentleness.

Feeling her other hand caress the length of my body, her fingers settled just above the small of my back, where she guided me into a steady and rhythmic motion. Learning the pace quickly, I began to take over, allowing her fingers to dance across my back.

Logic told me that what I was experiencing was a series of chemicals reacting to bursts of electrical impulses being released in my brain…but the experience itself was like fire and ice as heat surged through me and chills erupted across my body at her touch. It was terrifying as it was exhilarating.

Lyuze's wandering hand found its way onto my cheek, cupping it tenderly and guiding herself towards it, placing my lips onto hers. For the briefest moment I became lost, even the basic functions of my artificial brain faltering in the face of, what I could only describe as pure bliss. I reveled in her touch, the softness of her lips and the fire that threatened to engulf me had tempered into a warmth that I never wanted to be released from.

We parted reluctantly, but our eyes never broke contact, our fingers gently intertwined. Lyuze moved her body in tandem with mine and a whole new sensation coursed through my body. My breathing became heavy, yet I focused on the electricity surging across my skin. Lyuze arched her back with a gasp, as shudders racked my body. A moan of ecstasy rose from somewhere in the room.

Had it come her? Or me?

Did it really matter?

A sudden and inexplicable wave of lethargy swept through my legs, sending me crashing onto the bed next to her. For a few moments, we simply lay there, with nothing but the sounds of our chests heaving. As breathing became steadier, Lyuze flipped onto her side drawing my gaze into her own. Her smile was warm and kind, making me feel like I was melting all over again. Our hands were still intertwined and, as we lay there, focusing on the warmth between us, I suddenly realized that a new bond had been formed between us.

My eyelids drooped, body comfortable in the warmth that surrounded us. Taking a moment to gently squeeze my pink-haired beloved's hand, she uttered something. Perhaps she thought I hadn't heard, but I would never forget those three words that eased me into gentle slumber:

"I love you."

~o0o~

Consciousness returned in the form of a violent intake of breath. Then sound of rain beating down on the stone cavern reawakened my senses and the answer I had initially sought found me:

"A dream, then" I reasoned, pushing myself into a sitting position. My fingers gripped at my head, which was swimming with lightheadedness. Absently my other hand reached for the wound in my chest.

But it wasn't there. Turning my gaze downward, I could see that, with conscious thought unable to hold them back, my hand had fallen away from my body and my immortal body had successfully repaired my injuries; even the damage done to my clothes had been mended. Leaning my head back against the stone wall, an exasperated sigh escaped from me. Even with my best efforts, my internal programming against self-termination had prevailed.

Heaving another deep breath, I shifted my gaze forward, attempting to plan the next move when a shocked gasp escaped from me.

Standing there, staring at me with as much melancholy and pity as before, was the phantom image of Lyuze. I gave myself a shake. This was impossible, this Lyuze was hallucination induced from blood loss and exhaustion. For her to still be here…

"What the hell are you?!" I spat venomously, "what do you want from me?!"

Lyuze said nothing, her arms folded as she shot me a sharp glare. Even I had to admit, whatever she was, she was quite the accurate hallucination.

Then again, it was my own recollection that made her all the more real. After all, the elderly Ouji, the man who created me, had taught me responsibility; Friender had taught me loyalty. Little Ringo had shown me innocence, something that was worthy of protecting in this world…but Lyuze had taught me something I had never considered needing before:

She showed me how to love.

Then, as quickly as my anger had aroused, the thought had occurred to me: what was I actually angry about? Did I blame her for dying? After everything we'd been through together, after everything battle, every fight…was I angry at her for leaving like she did?

How could I be? After all, this wasn't Lyuze's fault. I had been the one who unleashed the ruin on the world. If anyone was to blame for her death, it was me.

Yet another sin for me to bear.

Pushing to my feet, I forced myself to look at her, taking a moment to swallow the shame of my thoughts. There was something I needed to say, even if it was to a figment of my dwindling sanity. It was pointless to run from this:

"The rain makes the world seem lonelier, doesn't it? I always thought that I could handle the rain in such a lonely place. That never bothered me before. Then again, I never had the pain of losing anyone before, that's what's been hard to handle."

Lyuze listened with an expression of great surprise. But still, she said nothing, the sadness in her eyes encouraging me to keep going.

"But, I think: what hurts the most, was knowing what could have been. Having so much to say…and I know that, if I could do it over, I would give away all the words that I left unspoken. Loving you was all I was trying to do. I'm sorry that I never said it back."

Once more, the pinkette smiled, but this time her smile was kind and warm. Slowly, her long, slender legs began to carry her towards me. I had been up against many things in my life, but in the face of a hallucination of one I held dear, I admit that I froze. Half of me was terrified at what was to come. But, I also couldn't deny that there was another part of me that was too fascinated to care.

Soon enough, she stood before me. Logic told me that she was dead and gone; reason told me that I was talking to the air. But in my heart, it felt as if nothing had happened. That Lyuze was actually there, slowly raising her arm and placing her slender fingers on my cheek.

A wave of horror and wonder surged through me. I could feel her hand, the gentleness of its touch and the familiarity of its warmth. Ever so slowly, I inched my hand upward, eyes widening as it connected with Lyuze's.

"This is impossible" I said hoarsely, memories of her life fading away in my arms "you can't be here."

A mischievous grin crossed Lyuze's face, but it didn't change that the question then became: how? A quiet gasp escaped from me, I knew the answer before I had even thought of the question.

As part of my artificial brain, my memory was extraordinarily more powerful than others like myself. With data collected from the five basic senses and the proper time to allow for the calculations to be made, my artificial brain could create a permanent subroutine that would faithfully recreate whatever it was I had committed to it. A replica so perfect that even my base, non-cybernetically enhanced, senses would be fooled.

Slightly stunned at the revelation, I turned back towards her and I could barely splutter out the words as the realization hit me: "You knew."

Lyuze shrugged, her expression somewhere between playful and abashed; however, I could feel my own expression turn stony, gently peeling her hand from my face as I turned away. Faithful recreation or not, she was merely a figment of my artificial brain. She wasn't really there, and it didn't bode well for someone, who's new mission was to uphold the sacred balance of death, to walk around with a ghost in their head.

Besides that, while I was still moved by the magnitude of the gesture, I had already buried Lyuze once and it felt like I was betraying her memory. Like I was depriving her of the peace she so richly deserved by dragging her around wherever I went.

At the same time, I didn't think I could bear to delete the subroutine. It was hard enough to say goodbye the first time.

"Casshern…" came a gentle voice in my ear, "remember when I told you every day I found something that made me truly happy? I've lived my life to the fullest. It's been the best."

This time, my gasp was as loud as it was shocked. Wheeling around, I could see the replica Lyuze, with her hand half outstretched towards me. However, my sudden movement caused her to recoil slightly, a look of equal surprise on her own face.

Another memory? Or…was I still dreaming? No, that can't be right…too much of this world still made sense. And, even if that wasn't the case, the replica Lyuze's reaction indicated that was unaware of what had just happened.

So, it really was…?

Almost in spite of myself, a chuckle escaped from me. Replica or not, my artificial brain knew better than to have her speak; even androids as advanced as myself weren't infallible to the effects of insanity. So, either I was taking my first step towards losing my mind, or perhaps Lyuze was still guiding me, even from beyond the grave. Either way, I was humbled by the entire experience.

I may have blamed myself for her death, but somehow, Lyuze didn't. Her last few days were happy and I had been a part of that. Gazing towards the replica Lyuze, I could feel my gaze soften as a small smile split across my face. Perhaps this wasn't her way of clinging to immortality; maybe, just maybe, this was just her way of staying by my side. If I was condemned to be the God of Death for this world, then perhaps she would be an angel, guiding and supporting me as I walked the earth alone.

Raising my fingers to touch her cheek, reveling in the soft, smooth feel of her skin. I knew this wasn't entirely accurate, but she was the only way I could admit this to Lyuze now:

"I love you, too."

The replica Lyuze smiled, her eyes sparkling as she held my hand in her own, angling the palm upward and placing a gentle kiss there. A brightness from behind quickly gathered our attention. The weather had finally broken, the curtain of steely-gray rain clouds had begun to part, revealing a clear sky of forget-me-not blue and a dazzling sun that would, undoubtedly, continue to make Ringo's dream of a field full of flowers come true. With a nod towards Lyuze, the two of us set out into the wastes.

The Legend of Casshern, the Destroyer was over. Now, it was time for me to assume the role I had always been meant to fill: and ensure that nobody would forget how precious life truly was.

Recently, I started binging anime again. One, that had been on my wait list for some time, was Casshern Sins. I didn't have many friends who had heard of this anime, so I went in totally blind. And I came out with another fandom under my belt. As you can probably guess, this song was inspired by the song What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts. However, there is another big influence for the tone/mood of the story: an AMV on youtube Casshern and Lyuze-Broken by Queen of Dragons.

I was trying to be a bit experimental with this story: I don't often write in the first person, and approaching a lemon scene from a very logical perspective was as challenging as it was fun. The general idea was that this story was supposed to be a partner of episode 18 (which is probably my favorite episode), mostly for its complex approach to emotions. Whether or not that was a success, I leave entirely in the hands of anyone who reads this. But anyway, I hope you guys liked it, don't forget to drop me a review, and I hope you have a great day.