Chapter 2: The Dark Historian
I was there in Hyrule, but my thoughts were still very much with Earth. Magic exists in Hyrule. My goal should be to obtain magic and use it to escape this reality. But who am I? I don't even know what I look like. Do I have some overpowered special skill?
I began to walk toward Hyrule Castle Town. I assumed the King would not meet with me, but I intended to try. That is, before a gang of Bokoblins surrounded me.
"Chickens and fruits and vegetable loots! Give us your stuff!" A short Bokoblin pointed his Spiked Boko Club at me.
"I-I don't have any stuff. I don't have a bag." and I held my hands up pointing around my body. "I don't even have any money, at least as far as I know."
The Bokoblin looked me over for a minute. "Boss, this guy's got nothing. What do we do?"
"Eh, knock him out so knows not to mess with us! Don't worry, boys. We'll find some dinner on one of these traveling adventurers."
"They're going to deck me like I'm a Breath of the Wild villager." Ithought. But then, in an instant, I had a spark of dark inspiration. "Hey, wait. I just arrived in this land and I need your help! Don't knock me out."
The Bokoblin boss seemed amused by this, "You, a Hylian, want help from a Bokoblin? You are aware of the present state of animosity between our species, right? Your knights just killed all of our cows last week to 'thin our herd'!"
"I did not know that. As I said, I just arrived in this land. But I'm not just any Hylian. I am… a dark historian. I know of the many brave exploits of the Bokoblin people, of how they fought against Link and shook the Light to its core!" A little brown-nosing never hurt." I need an audience with Lord Ganon. I have vital intelligence for the coming battle against the Hero."
"You're not much of a historian if you don't know that Ganon is dead!" The Bokoblin bellowed out. The other Bokoblins didn't really know what he was talking about, I don't think, but they laughed due to the infectious nature of his tone.
"Yeah, Link killed him like twenty years ago. Then he married the Princess and became the Queen's Consort."
"I see. That's a Hero's life alright." I remarked, shaking my head as if the thought disgusted me."Sitting up cushy in the castle while Bokoblins live in the real world."
"Ain't that the truth!" a Bokoblin yelled out.
"Well, we can change things if we work together." I said. "Who's in charge of the dark forces at this time?"
"I am." the Bokoblin boss announced sternly.
"Is there a representative from the Dark Realm? Like Onox or Veran? What about Vaati? He'd be legit."
"There are the Goddesses. They speak to us from time to time."
My expression soured. The Goddesses wouldn't help me escape to Earth. I need someone who doesn't GAF. "Um, can you put me in contact with them? If you do, I'll teach you how to revive from death during combat."
The Boss Bokoblin said, "Revive from death? If I kill you now, will you be able to prove this ability?" the Bokoblin started to stab me. I clearly miscalculated a bit here.
"Wait wait wait I need stuff to do it!" I shouted as I jumped out of the way of his sword strike. "A fairy in a bottle. Bring me a fairy in a bottle!"
"It seems like I remember hearing about that from my dad."the Bokoblin boss announced."One of his underlings struck Link with a Knight's Sword during the war, and then a fairy popped out of his bag and brought him back to life. Are you saying that we can utilize this ability of Light?"
"Have you ever tried?"
"No, it wouldn't be a Bokoblin move. We have our culture."
"But Bokoblin culture can't truly exist unless you stop the Knights from attacking your settlements and killing your livestock. To stop that, you need to change your strategy." I said as the Bokoblin leader listened intently. I had him now. "Together, we can build a lasting darkness that will cover the whole of Hyrule!"other Bokoblins began to cheer.
"Can you put me in touch with the Goddesses?" I felt my ears for a moment." Although my ears are long enough to hear their words, my previous experiences with loud machines may have affected my hearing."
"Yes. We can do that, just as soon as we get some food."
"Why not raid Lon Lon Ranch when the sun goes down? Kill a cow and gut it, but leave the corpse pretty intact to make it look like a wolf did it."
"Raid Lon Lon Ranch." the Bokoblin boss announced, as if he was 'trying out' the concept. "We've been clinging to our traditions for so long. We only raid the fields. But we're starving now. Maybe it's time to try something else."
That night, the Bokoblins and I sneaked into Lon Lon Ranch. I told the Bokoblins to wait outside just in case there were humans. If my knowledge of Ocarina of Time had any relevance to this world, there would be at least one.