Chapter 4: The Goddesses Speak

The Bokoblins and I returned to their encampment. There were perhaps fifty Bokoblins living in different mud and straw huts that were placed all around a large rock that had been carved to resemble the shape of a skull. The Bokoblin boss, Klagnor, implored me to have dinner with them.

The cow that we stole resulted in some surprisingly tasty steaks. The Bokoblins use different herbs and spices as any human chef would. If we'd had some A1 steak sauce, it would have been pretty perfect.

"Klagnor, how soon can we speak to the Goddesses? I want to see darkness reign eternal, and it won't happen if we waste time feasting."

"At midnight, Mr. Historian."Klagnor responded with a smirk."The Goddesses can only be summoned at midnight during the blood moon."

"Oh really?" Klagnor, Itchy, Squiggles, and several other Bokoblins that I met discussed the plight of the Bokoblin people under these new policies from Hyrule Castle. We explored ways to prevent the Knighthood from killing livestock.

I listened to talk about the importance of having your boko horn ready and having lots of Boko-children to shore up their numbers for nearly an hour, and I accidentally blurted out, "You guys need guns."

Klagnor looked at me, perplexed. "What's a gun?"

"It's like a thing that fires out arrows, but it's stronger. Than arrows. It can pierce almost any kind of armor."

Squiggles chimed in. "That sounds like magic."

"If I'm not mistaken, some exist in this world. The Bazaar in Castle Town once had one on display. It may not be there at this present time. But all we need is like a metal pipe and some gunpowder."

"Like what they use for the water in Castle Town?" Itchy asked.

"Probably, but it would have to be small." I explained. "We can weld off one edge and put gunpowder into it. Lighting it with flint will cause an explosion that comes out the pipe."

"Weld? Gunpowder?" Klagnor burst out with a mocking tone. "You understand that this is a Bokoblin encampment, right? Not Hyrule Arts and Crafts! I don't know what these things are."

"If you have a forge, we can weld." I said. "Gunpowder just requires like charcoal, and… I'll have to work on it." It had been a while since I watched the relevant episode ofModern Marvelson the History Channel. But I was confident we could come up with some game-changing weaponry.

"Sounds like something best done in the morning! Tonight, we commune with the divine spirits for direction and spiritual fulfillment."

The Bokoblins then led me to their fire pit. The moon had turned to a crimson red. The same flickering dark specs you see in Breath of the Wild surrounded us. Squiggles threw incense into the fire and began to chant. "Icy Queen of the Eternal, Kotake, we reach to you. Flaming Empress of the Divine, Koume, we call out to you! May the Goddesses reign through the Power of their Son, and may the Light be extinguished forever!" Squiggles then dashed back inside to get some of the remains of the steak we'd eaten. He threw it into the fire as a sacrifice.

It didn't seem like anything was happening for a few moments. I glanced at Klagnor. He glanced back, nodding, implying that we needed to wait. Then, what I'd best describe as a black tornado twirled up in the fire and Kotake and Koume flew out on broomsticks.

"They've given us leftovers again!" Kotake announced as she materialized.

"At least it's still pretty hot." Koume responded.

"Forgive us, Goddesses, but the Hylians have again attacked our livestock and diminished our supplies. We seek your aid and your counsel!" Klagnor announced as he and the other Bokoblins knelt. I decided it would be best for me to kneel, too.

I smiled to myself. By 'the Goddesses', the Bokoblins meant Twinrova! Perfect! If there was a way back to Earth, Twinrova would know how to do it!

"Why do you seek our aid? You know what must be done to those who oppose our Son. Fight them, and cry out Ganon's name as you burn down Hyrule Castle!"

Klagnor seemed discouraged. "We have tried, but…"

Koume interrupted. "Try again! We can't resurrect Ganon until we have the blood of the Hero!"

I listened. They had an unsolvable problem. And that's exactly what I needed to bargain with. Thinking quickly, I reluctantly stood up. "Goddesses, if may interject, I am - "

Kotake and Koume noticed me, a Hylian, and began to fly around me with interest. "Look at his aura, Koume."

"I see it. I'm not that old!" Koume blasted back.

".. we're the same age." Kotake retorted.

"But this could prove interesting."

"Interesting indeed." Kotake concurred. She then landed in front of me."For seeing as we are Goddesses, we perceive that, you, one with an aura and memories of Terra, wish to return to that realm."

"Jackpot!" I thought. But I was also slightly worried that Kotake and Koume had a better understanding of my situation than I did."I do. And I know that the Goddesses of the Bokoblins can travel through dimensions. If you can return me to Terra, I will offer you the Hero's Blood."

Kotake leaned in, "Is the mask salesman still alive?"

"Yeah, he profited off your story big time."

"Merchants. Sheesh."

Kotake, Koume, and I worked out the specifics as they ate their steak. I was given a small glass vial for a sample of the Hero's Blood. If I returned with it, they would use their powers to open a portal back to Earth. My evil plan was succeeding, or so it seemed...