Chapter 10: To Kill a Hero
The days following Gerudo Town's liberation passed quickly. After I woke up from that post-celebration hangover, I saw Gerudos hard at work preparing for the inevitable retaliation from Hyrule. The bridge over the Zora River was once again cut. This would either force the Hylians to cross hundreds of miles to the north where the river is shallow or force to make their own bridge. Either way, it gave Gerudo Town precious time to fortify its defenses.
Somehow, the Town looked even more occupied when were done. Barbed wire decked the entirety of the city walls along with large stacks of lumber which were coated with a flammable chemical to set siege towers on fire. The front gate was about to be closed.
Itchy showed the Gerudo blacksmiths how his pipe gun worked, and I gave them a few more details on common Earth weapons. They were fascinated by this look into our world. And those women are way smarter than I am when it comes to making stuff like this. Once they understood the mechanism, they swapped out the gunpowder for more plentiful Bomb Flower spores. Across two weeks, they made twelve of their own pipes, which would more rightly be called cannons, and created several hundred mortar rounds. We rolled one out to the desert and tried it out. The aiming was a little questionable, as Jillandra, the Gerudo Master Smith, aimed to hit an old Bokoblin fortress in the distance but missed by approximately 30 feet. To that, Jillandra said, "Aiming it's not on me. The archers can probably do better."Probably.
They also dug massive trench around the entire city and put simple Bomb mines into it. You step on it, it explodes. The bombs are placed every six feet to stop one Bomb from accidentally activating them all at once. Everyone helped dig the massive trench, me included. Blind told me, "You look right at home, here, working hard like this! This must bring back memories of your old life."
"It does." I agreed. Yes, to think, a life of difficult labor is what I'm striving to return to. But as Blind once said, we all have our duties.
Every woman, Blind, and James was outfitted with a scimitar. I'd never wielded a sword before, so that was new. It took a while to learn to walk with it sheathed at my side. Lasella told me to 'kill a Hero, not be a Hero' and stay in the Palace.
The Gates were all locked and barricaded with large stone boulders. There was now no way in or out of the city without serious injury. We were as ready as we were going to be. Blind then led the Gerudo in prayer to the Serpent Goddess and asked for her intervention against the 'wrath of the unjust Hylian gods'. It was a beautiful ceremony. Itchy whispered to me, "I'm praying to Twinrova for our safety. You should too." I smiled at my good Bokoblin friend and patted him on the back.
Two more days passed, uneventfully. I taught Itchy how to play checkers during that time. Lasella declared checkers to be a 'boring male activity' and recommended I try liquor instead. I started to wonder if maybe the Hylians would just let us be and that Queen Zelda had opted to show mercy toward the Gerudo revolutionary force. But alas, she had not. While Itchy and I were getting our Hydromelon cocktail 'boardgamer fuel', an archer jumped down off the East wall and ran toward the palace, shouting, "Hylian Invasion Force, coming from the North! East wall, get ready it's hitting us first!"
Blind rushed out of the palace and climbed the East Wall, giving a last minute pep talk to the Gerudo soldiers. He came back to me and Itchy on his way down, saying, "The Hero approaches James. And so does Queen Zelda. If Lucendorf had been with them, we would have had one-stop shopping!" He grinned momentarily before going to the South Wall to give the same pep talk.
I had no way of knowing its size at the time, but there were at least 8,000 Hylian soldiers in Invasion Force. As the Hylians came in range, the Gerudos fired off a volley of arrows. The Hylians covered with their shields, and the volley only wounded a few soldiers. So the Gerudos held off for a moment, and then they let their Bomb Flower mortar rounds fly.
I wish I could have seen the look on Queen Zelda's face. Dismay, anger, shock. The mortar rounds sent shockwaves through the Hylian invasion force. Shields were dislodged from hands by the blast if not outright destroyed. Hundreds of Hylians were wounded by the first volley. Their line briefly dissipated, and when it did, the Gerudos fired off another round of arrows.
"Fire again and send them packing!" Blind shouted. The Gerudos did the same. Without their shields properly equipped, Hylians dropped like flies from the mortar fire. With their second shot, the Gerudo artillery shooters were able to aim much more accurately. Lasella said that at least a thousand Hylian soldiers were killed by that volley. And the Hylians backed out of firing range. Well, that was true for all of the Hylians except one.
I didn't see this myself, but according to Naresa, Link looked around at the devastation for a moment and decided to scale the wall all by himself. The Gerudo archers of the East gate focused their aim solely on him. He raised his shield to block the volley and dodged several more arrows. Coming forward, Link stepped right onto one of the hidden mines outside of the front gate, and the explosion sent him six feet into the air. He plopped hard on the ground, looking pretty dead. But then a fairy came out of his bag and revived him.
"Well that's one of his fairies!" I heard a Gerudo shout.
Link began to climb the wall. Gerudos fired arrows at him, some of which hit him, but he was somehow able to dodge most of them with his god-tier Hero buffs. As approached the barbed wire, it plucked him in the face and hands, causing some degree of bleeding. But all this did was make him mad, I think. He climbed on the wall, and twelve Gerudos tried to stab him with their scimitars. He moved like a ninja, evading their blows when possible and using his shield when it wasn't. Link killed them all in two seconds flat. Fifty more Gerudo approached, but Link used Din's Fire to take them all out at once.
"Man your posts!" Blind shouted as he ran around like a madman."There's still an invasion force outside!"
Despite Blind's orders, several Gerudo had the idea to turn the mortar cannon on Link. That was pretty effective, dropping him again. A second fairy popped out of his bag, reviving him again. Link got up and killed the artillery shooter in retaliation.
"That's two of his fairies!" a Gerudo shouted.
Link wiped off some more of his blood, an angry look on his face that I could see from hundreds of feet away. We locked eyes as I peered out from the Gerudo Palace doorway. He knew I was to blame for this technology, and he looked at me as if to say, "I'm coming for you." Link jumped off the walls, disregarding the Gerudo fences, and rushed toward the Palace.
A few Gerudos gave chase toward Link, but Blind shouted, "I'll deal with the tourist. Keep that army out." as Blind darted toward Link who'd just stepped in the palace doorway .
Link and I crossed eyes. "James, correct?"
"Yes, Link." I looked to Itchy. "Run, Itchy." Itchy nodded at me and went to get his pipe gun.
"I just wanted to make sure I'm killing the correct person. Thank you." Link unsheathed his sword and walked closer slowly. I backed up toward the throne room wall with every step he took. "I understand that the Gods willed for you to start a new life here in Hyrule. And what a life it was. A life of aligning with evil creatures like Bokoblins and stoking up tensions with the Gerudo insurgency." Link pretended like he was going to stab me as he got closer, making me squirm. I was too scared to even draw the scimitar the Gerudos had given me. "What makes a man choose evil? " Link asked as he bashed me in the head with his shield. I fell to the ground, holding what was surely a concussion in severe pain. "You know, I don't actually care. Die now, James of Earth." He raised his sword up stab as if he was finishing off Ganon in OoT and with a final strike.
Seconds before Link could put a sword through my brain, Blind backstabbed him with a dagger. "That's three fairies, golden boy." he whispered into Link's ear as he fell to the ground. Turning to me, Blind said, "James we only have seconds before he gets up. Try to hide somewhere."
Hardly aware of where I was after the shield strike to my head, I stumbled upstairs into what I believe was once Ganondorf's bedroom. It had a very soft bed with black velvety blankets. As I entered, I saw Gerudos wearing black robes assembling in the throne room. In pain, but interested, I decided to go back look on at their assembly around the throne room.
The Gerudos began chanting in their language. "Shanktus askora Ganona lemana. Shanktus askeerta Darkness ankhana!" and over again. A thick black mist began to consume the castle.
"Blind is expanding the space of the Dark Realm!" A cloaked Gerudo whispered to me in-between chants.
Link got to his feet as he and Blind circle each other. "Blind, we meet again."
"Well met, Hero of Hylia. Your favor with the gods has carried you far, golden boy, but no further." The black mist spread over the throne room, blotting out all visible not-otherworldly materials. "I've been researching ancient texts on how to kill you for years now. This is the Dark Realm, the home of Ganon, Demise, and Null. Your gods have no power here. It is time, Hero, a for a test of strength. Your will versus mine."
"I've been here before, Blind." Link retorted. "If you think that forbidden knowledge will help you prevail over the gods, think again."
Blind, with scimitars in both hands, began to growl wildly, and he morphed into his A Link to the Past boss form. His body transformed into just three heads which were tucked underneath a flowing white ribe. Lasers fired from his eyes toward Link, and what remained of his arms began vigorously using scimitars to stab at Link.
Link dodged the lasers and scimitar strikes and counterattacked, stabbing Blind in what used to be his chest. A head popped out and began to float around, periodically striking Link with fireballs.
The Gerudos continued chanting. I felt a powerful darkness wave over the room and even my heart, I think. Through some whisper from beyond the Dark Realm veil, I intuitively understood that they were supplying Blind with spiritual energy to allow him to overcome the Hero. I felt what I can only describe as a rush of evil religiosity. Worshiping darkness in this way was our path to victory! So I began to chant with the Gerudo, mimicking their tongue as best I could. They noticed and were thankful for this. It was a very powerful ceremony.
Our chanting healed Blind, who bellowed out an evil otherworldly laugh. Link, shocked by Blind's recovering from his blows, stopped in his tracks for a moment. Blind took advantage of this brief pause to peg him with a laser.
"That's four fairies, Link." I shouted. "You're all out now."
"I don't need fairies or outside help to enact the will of the Gods, you agent of darkness. All it takes is a strong faith and a trust in those you love."Link got back up and rushed toward Blind, delivering a flurry of fiery blows with the Master Sword. Our chanting was not enough to overpower his sheer desire to see us all die. I mean 'save Hyrule'.
Blind fell to the ground, seriously wounded. The Gerudo chanting stopped in shock at the sight of the last Gerudo male near death. The Dark Realm dissipated and the scene of the Gerudo throne room returned. Blind was still alive, but said nothing. There was nothing to say about the Gods overriding our attempt at self-determination.
"Evil has fallen this day, Gerudo people."Link continued."As shall all of you." He drew his sword. "This evil city will be laid to waste, and it will be remembered only a mere footnote in the plan of the Goddesses!"
But suddenly, someone walked up behind Link and patted him on the back. "This is for Squiggles, you gooky green goblin!" Itchy planted his pipe gun flush against Link's chest and fired it off. Link fell to the ground.
We all watched in terror, fearing that Link would get up a sixth time. But he did not.
"Itchy did it!" Lasella shouted. "Itchy killed the Hero!"
The Gerudo in the throne erupted in joy. I cried. Lasella cried. Blind was almost dead, but his once-again Gerudo form displayed a few tears. Itchy cried as well, but I think it was for the memory of his best friend Squiggles.
The invasion was still going on outside. But our destiny was before us. Blind crawled toward the throne to sit down as Gerudos bandaged his serious wounds. "Procure the blood sample and hand it to someone James. It's time to summon Twinrova and begin the rite."