Kim knew that coming to her ten year high school reunion was a mistake; nobody wants to talk to her. She's alone. She's always been alone.
She leans against the banquet table in the gymnasium, pretending to drink some wine. Really, she can't drink. Her work doesn't allow it.
She probably makes people feel uncomfortable. It's possible that she should just leave. No one would notice.
"Why are you even here?" some girl asks her. Kim looks at her and feels herself drift away from her body. She doesn't know this girl. She should though.
Brunette, mean face, pointed jaw, bob cut. Sort of familiar, but…
"You dropped out senior year," the girl drawls. "The reunion is for graduates only."
Kim sighs. "I'm an honorary member, I guess. Also, um… who are you?"
The girl's face goes red and she stamps the floor, stomping off, and Kim can hear chuckling from behind her. Kim looks over to it and sees a boy with blond hair.
Him, she remembers. She'll always remember Ron Stoppable. It's been eleven years now.
Ron walks up to Kim like they've been hanging out the whole time. "Dude, you kill me sometimes!" He gave her a friendly swat on the upper arm.
Kim should smile, and at least pretend to be friendly. It's hard for her but she can at least try.
Her smile isn't very natural. "I wasn't kidding. Who was that?"
Ron's eyes widen a little. "Kim! Come on, you know Bonnie Ro—"
"Bonnie Rockwaller!" Kim interrupts. "Wow! I, no, I honestly forget… um, most of high school is a blur for me."
Ron nods along and noticeably inhales. He probably wants to make a joke, and he should.
But everyone knows what Kim's been through. It's why people are so scared of her. So no one makes jokes around Kim.
She should've worn a dress. The fully black ensemble, the suit, it just makes her look scary. She also thinks that it would have been smart to use concealer to hide all of her facial scars. But she just wanted to go out for once and make friends.
Ron is her friend.
Kim grabs Ron by the arm. "Ron, can we sit down? I miss you a lot."
Did she actually miss him? She hasn't thought of him in years.
But it came to her mouth organically. She wasn't lying. She missed him.
She looks at him earnestly, maybe even a little desperately. "Tell me about your life."
7 Years Later
(In a Different Timeline)
Kim climbs over the rubble and loses her grip, flopping over the edge and rolling down the rest of the way, crashing into a pile of mud. She gets up and leans up against the cavern wall, clutching her side. She's bleeding from the stomach and she's guessing she has maybe five minutes before she's dead.
Yori crouches besides her, similarly battered. "Okay, okay, so. Last resort."
"Yeah," Kim croaks. "Last resort."
Yori nods and manages to slide off her backpack, digging deep into it, pulling out a wooden monkey idol. "You know what moment to go to, right?"
Kim can't nod, she feels everything slipping.
Yori takes Kim's hand, pulling it to her chest. "Kim."
"Huh?" Kim blinks. "Sorry. I'm…"
"I know," Yori clasps Kim's hand with both of hers. "You'll feel okay once you're in. You pick the moment and you'll have about one minute of consciousness before it overtakes you. Blink twice if you understand."
Blink. Blink.
"Good," Yori lets Kim's hand fall and rests the idol against her stomach. The Tempus Simia. "After it's done, don't come in contact with him again. It'll mess with your head. Do you understand?"
Blink. Blink.
Yori must sense some hesitation in Kim, so she says, "You need to stop him from gaining power at all costs. If you have to kill him on one of your missions, it doesn't matter. It's not worth this ."
"I know," Kim rasps. "I just… I've thought about it before. Who I'd be without him."
Yori stays still and waits. "Kim, I know you're scared but we don't have a choice. Please. Take the dive."
Kim manages a slight nod this time. She definitely has less than the five minutes she estimated. "I can't be alone."
"You'll have to be, I'm sorry," Yori nods. She understands. "Take care of yourself."
Kim smiles.
And that's it.
Time unwinds and everything is destroyed.
19 Years Prior
(In the Current Timeline)
There isn't really a transition. Kim's eyes open and she's awake. It takes her a moment to gather herself and take it all in. She's on top of a wall, she's… young. Fifteen years old, but already it's kinda fading. It feels like she's been fifteen this whole time. She can remember what she had for breakfast this morning.
She needs to fight before the time stream eats her.
"KP! Can you lend me a hand?" Ron yells and Kim flinches. That voice still scares her, but something in her head tells her it's just Ron, don't be afraid of him.
Kim looks down off the ledge, and these words come to her lips. They are kind words, playful words. Kim bites down on them; she can't be nice right now. She needs to stop Ron.
And just like that — those words die in history. Kim Possible never told Ron the specific phrase, " Okay, but next time take the rope climbing in gym more seriously, Potential Boy.. " Kim feels it die in her mind, and already her grip on the future is loosening. Finality. Kim doesn't remember what she would have said because it didn't get to exist, and she just stares at Ron.
She could cut the rope. Kill him.
No.
She has a mission. Yori keeps telling Kim she needs to stop Ron but that isn't true. She needs to save Ron. From himself.
Kim reaches out to grab him and just like in the original timeline, he loses his grip, falls off the rock and miraculously only manages to sprain his ankle. Dumb luck, he should be dead. Kim feels that panic rise in her, just like she felt last time, and slides down the rope fast, crashing besides Ron on the ground. Like before he tries to play it off.
She can't let him. She takes a knee and gently pushes him back to the ground.
"Ron, this isn't working," she says and it feels so cold. So mean.
"Wh-what?" he stutters. "What… isn't… I mean, I just slipped, y'know it's not…"
"But you're going to get hurt," Kim says and she feels herself choking up inside. She can't cry. He can't know she's lying. Ron is the one who gets the least hurt. "You aren't taking practice seriously, and… one day, something bad is going to happen."
"Like what?" Ron asks. "You think Drakken's gonna mind swap us again or someth—"
"I'm being serious!" she snaps. It comes to her naturally now, because this new Kim she is creating doesn't want Ron on her team. "Do you have any concept of how dangerous this is? People are trying to actively kill us a-a-and… you don't even want to save the world, you just want to protect me. It's not fair to you."
Ron blinks a few times to stall for time. "Kim, I can take my practice more seriously if—"
"No," she interrupts. "You're done. I'm really sorry."
She gets up and he rises along with her. "Who's gonna have your back?" He's bartering.
She considers it. "Me. I'm going to have to fight harder. But I'm not letting you die over me." She pulls out her Kimmunicator. "C'mon. Can you walk?"
He hesitates. "Yes."
"Good. We're leaving, I'm getting you to a hospital and I'm calling Global Justice in to handle this one," Kim announces, and looks back when she doesn't hear a reply.
He's pissed .
She doesn't say anything. She just waits.
"Fine," he groans and drags himself past her.
Kim's one minute has ended. Reality completely shifts and everything fades away from her.
Kim remembered a world where Ron Stoppable, overcome with the Mystical Monkey Power, snapped and took over the world in a brutal war.
No one ever told him that those with the power were destined to lose their minds eventually. It's too much for any one person.
That is no more. None of it will ever happen now. Kim saved the world, and no one will ever know how.
Three Years into the New Timeline
It's raining. Kim just saved the world once again and it's raining.
Drakken almost won. Apparently, the boy who fell in love with Kim was a phony. She really liked him too.
Eric was Kim's only friend after all. Everybody hates her after what happened with Ron. Even Wade. Wade ended up walking pretty early in, because Kim got paranoid. Kim doesn't even feel safe being a celebrity, that people know her name and where she lives. Her parents and brothers are at risk. She's considering leaving them too.
Her parents are concerned for her. They make her go to therapy, and therapy makes Kim talk about things that make her cry. Kim doesn't want to cry, she doesn't want to feel anything. She's a tool. She sits and stares at walls for hours and gets up only when it's time to save the world.
It's raining and Kim is back to having no friends again.
Kim is really good at saving the world. She doesn't have a team. She always dreamed of having a team. But it would just hurt people.
She let Ron go, why not lose everyone else too? It's safer for them. Kim saves the world to keep people safe, who cares if she's miserable. It's for the greater good. It makes her better at saving people.
But tonight she's sobbing. Because Eric broke her heart. Eric was her last hope that she could ever be happy and it's raining. Kim walks across the rooftop to Bueno Nacho HQ and Li'l Diablos toys are falling from the sky. Drakken is cowering on the ground.
How dare he. Why is he crying.
Kim grabs Drakken by the collar and drags him across the roof.
All she did was ruin another one of his stupid, fucking plans.
Kim slams Drakken in the wall and looks him in the eye. He flinches and looks away.
Loser.
Kim grabs his head and cracks his neck. He falls at her feet.
It's still raining. Kim wants the Li'l Diablos to stop making so much noise as they hit the ground. It's pissing her off. She wants to be alone.
"Princess?"
Kim looks back and sees Shego. Kim walks up to her with long strides, and Shego backs away. Pathetic.
Kim is just wearing her normal mission outfit. She's covered in bruises and cuts, she might need to hide so no one makes her go to the hospital. But she'll figure it out later. She grabs Shego like she did Drakken and pulls her in.
"Listen," Shego starts with. "It wasn't my idea, Doc, he's crazy and—"
Kim throws Shego off the building. She doesn't look. She doesn't care. She just wants it to be quiet.
A few days later she wakes up in the hospital. She curses herself for not running fast enough. She tries to move but she can't. She's definitely sedated.
A woman stands before her. Very tall with brown hair, eyepatch. Kim thinks the eyepatch is fake. Kim thinks Doctor Betty Director has two eyes.
"Here's the deal," Betty says. "You're in trouble; you killed two supervillains in cold blood and they're planning on charging you as an adult."
Kim blinks and she feels some tears. It's embarrassing. She should not have killed them. She should have walked. She could tell the way Drakken looked at her that her withering gaze was enough. He would have quit villainy forever.
" Or ," Betty grins.
Kim can't say anything, she can only look.
"You enlist in Global Justice. Effective immediately. I fudge the paperwork to make it seem like you started working for me before this month. With that, I can easily protect you. Blink twice if you'll do it."
Kim doesn't move.
An ugly wrinkle forms under Betty's eye. "If you don't walk with me, I can ensure they lock you up for life. Don't fuck with me, Possible. Blink twice."
Blink.
…
Blink.
Global Justice is Hell. For the first year, Kim thinks a lot about how she should have just gone to prison.
Kim doesn't get to see her parents, even on holidays. She's not allowed to make friends either, or keep in contact with anyone.
They make her memorize whole dictionaries of faces, they train her on how to use knives and guns.
Then they send her out alone for days, even weeks, on end. Don't come home until you get all of them , Betty will say.
Kim doesn't kill anybody on her first mission, she gets too nervous. When she comes home empty handed, they beat Kim up. They don't let her sleep at night, and they send her back in.
She messes up her second mission too, but she's too scared to go home so she stays fielded for months. She goes undercover, she hides and eventually, after four months pass she kills her five targets.
She goes home and Betty runs her hand through Kim's hair, and tells her she's a good girl.
Kim kills twenty eight people by the end of the first year, but only seventeen of those killings are public. They turn it into a game. The more people Kim can kill, the nicer people will be to her. Like maybe she can get a real bed. And eat real food.
But Betty breaks her promise. Kim doesn't get her bed, so she runs away. A whole army tries to stop her and they catch her eventually, but not before she kills ten Global Justice agents. They beat her up for a long time, and Betty takes everything away again. Kim doesn't even get a uniform or weapons.
They throw her into the streets. They tell her a local mafia has been on the hit list for a long time and maybe she should check it out. So Kim takes the year and kills every last one of them.
One hundred twenty five kills. Mostly with knives to the face. Occasionally she had to strangle people to keep them quiet.
She doesn't talk the whole year. Slowly, Kim becomes nonverbal. People think it's because she's soulless and doesn't care but really it's because she doesn't remember how to talk most days. It makes her feel really ashamed. Sometimes she gets in trouble because she can't speak and they beat her up. Which means she has to kill.
When the job is done, Kim goes back to Global Justice.
No one expected Kim to actually do it, so they call her a good girl again. Someone even holds her for a few seconds, and they say some things to her that sound nice. But then the person is pulled away and Kim never sees them again.
When Kim turns twenty eight, she has officially killed more than six hundred people. When she hears her high school reunion is coming, she asks if she can go through a written note. Reluctantly, they let her go, as long as she promises to only stay for an hour.
She practices talking for a few days to prepare herself. She wants to talk to people like a normal person.
Present Day
Ron is happy, Kim thinks. His eyes glow when he talks about his life. He's an assistant manager at Bueno Nacho, he kinda hates it sometimes but the insurance plans are really good.
Just for him though. Ron is alone. Apparently, he's dated a few people. Like Bonnie, Tara, Felix. Kim thinks she's supposed to know these names but she doesn't remember. She just watches Ron talk.
"Kim?" Ron frowns.
Kim snaps back. "Sorry, I spaced out. I'm really happy for you, seriously."
Ron slowly shifts back into smiling. "I was just saying, um… after Prom, a bunch of people said really mean things about you. I mean, people always said mean stuff about you, you probably knew that."
Yeah. She remembers. They called her a robot. It made her cry herself to sleep a few times, but then she twisted a few arms and it didn't matter because she knew she was better than them.
"I always defended you," Ron says, and Kim feels confused. She doesn't know why he's telling her this.
"Are you sad I kicked you off the team," Kim says in her usual monotone.
"Huh?" Ron frowns. "I'm just making conversation…"
"Then I don't understand."
"Oh. Sorry," Ron looks away.
Ron's frown makes Kim feel really sad. She was really mean to Ron once, and she knows she's done far worse but he was her best friend and now he probably hates her.
Something happens. Her stomach feels acidic, and her throat closes in.
Kim blinks back tears, and stifles them away fast. Kim's not supposed to cry, if she cries she can't talk and everyone will know how stupid and worthless she is.
She doesn't like it here. It's scary here. She wants to go back home. But it hasn't been an hour yet, and they might get mad if she goes home early after all the work that went in to letting her go.
Ron touches her shoulder and it definitely triggers something in her. It all just starts coming out. She sobs like a stupid baby, she can't say words, her throat gets tight and her tears make it impossible to see anything. She grabs at Ron really tightly and screams into his shoulder.
Kim wishes she didn't come. Her feelings are turning into colors and blood rushes to her ears. She feels really scared and she doesn't let go of Ron. She passes out.
Kim wakes up and she's in a twin sized bed, tucked in underneath the covers. Her suit is really sweaty. She climbs out of bed and feels the dried tears staining her cheeks, and she feels it coming over her again. She must have had an emotional breakdown in front of everyone.
Kim looks around and feels disoriented, and survival instincts kick in. There's a knife in her ankle and a gun under her arm. She takes those out and looks around. It's a messy apartment. Probably a boy's.
"Oh, hey, you're awake!" Ron cries out.
Kim whirls around and brings the knife to Ron's throat, immediately flinching at the sight of him, and steps back. Ron. Bad Kim. Ron good.
"S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s…" She stutters. Words aren't coming to her. The tears are coming in again. "S-s-s-s-s-s…"
"Hey, hey," Ron takes her and holds her tight, rubbing her back.
Back in the old days, Ron would rub Kim's back when she was scared. The last time someone touched Kim in a nice way, they got taken away. Kim doesn't want Ron to go away, he's nice.
"Calm down, Kim," Ron says and she hears his voice shake. He touches her head and runs his fingers across her scalp. "You're okay, alright? I'm here with you."
Kim hears herself still manages to say the word I'm . She tries to say Sorry again but gets caught on the s's.
Ron gently lowers Kim back into the bed. "Shh…" He puts a warm compress on her forehead. "You don't have to talk, it's okay."
Kim nods and smiles at him. "D-d-d-d-d…" Does anyone know I'm here? I don't want to go back. They're not nice to me.
"Sh, we can talk later, okay?" Ron says. He puts a hand to her chest and feels her heartbeat. "You're panicking."
Kim shakes her head.
"Kim, your heart is racing," Ron frowns. "It's okay. It's just me. You passed out and I said I'd take you home. But I don't know where that is, so you're safe with me."
Kim just stares.
"Blink twice if you understand, Kim," Ron frowns.
Blink. Blink.
"Good," Ron strokes her head and she nuzzles against him like a cat. She wants him to touch her forever. "I have to do a night shift, so I hafta go to work. But if you want to stay you can. I think you should sleep, Kim. I think… um…" He blushes. "...I've done a lot of reading about what someone in your position might be experiencing the past few years, and you probably have some kind of PTSD thing or something…"
PTSD.
She shakes her head.
He blinks. "Kim, just get some rest and—"
She shakes her head again.
Kim doesn't have PTSD. Nothing bad has ever happened to her. She never feels anything, she doesn't let anyone in.
Kim kills people that other people tell her are bad. Kim is good at what she does. Kim has saved the world lots of times.
Ron touches her skin and he's so careful. "You're really hot," he says, looking around the room. "Is it too warm in here?"
Kim just stares. She doesn't know what's happening to her. She actually feels really cold. Is that normal? "Scared." Good. She got one word out. When Kim is scared, she can't talk. She's calming down.
Ron looks like he's doting over a baby, and not an adult mercenary. He gently lifts Kim up and tucks her into the bed. "On second thought, please don't leave. I'm really worried about you. Um. Can you do me a favor and give me that knife and gun you were carrying?"
Kim shakes her head.
Ron just kinda stares. "Um. Kim, you're safe here, y'know that, right?"
She drags both weapons closer to her.
He frowns and gives up on it, scratching his neck. "Okay. Um. Alright. I'm just… really worried about you Kim. I don't think you're right in the head right now."
That's silly. Kim is always like this. Ron is silly.
"O-K," she says slowly. "F-f-f-f-f..." She bites her lip and makes the letters with her hands. F-A-V-O-R.
"Kim, I really have to go to work. I'm already kinda running late…"
Kim just stares at him. She needs him to electrify her to kill the tracking device planted in her brain. Then she needs to send a vial of her blood to Global Justice with her notice that she is officially resigning.
But she doesn't want to hurt Ron's feelings again, so she lets Ron go.
So she just does those things when he's not home.
Kim wakes up with a start. Something touched the bed. She grabs the assailant and slams him against the headboard. The wood cracks underneath him and she swings her fist in to crack their jaw when she sees his wide terrified eyes.
Kim freezes and looks at Ron, helplessly ensnared in her wrath.
"R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-…" she stutters, hands shaking. She gently lets go of Ron, and looks at her hands. "Sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc..."
"Sorry, I shouldn't have startled you," Ron sniffs, looking at and she feels bad. She hurt her friend, she's mean and no good. He should hit her.
But he just looks at her with such affection. "I wish you let me stay, Kim. I wish you let me protect you."
Kim feels her eyes water. She guesses it's okay for her to cry in front of Ron. He won't hit her or anything. He won't ask her to kill people and take away her things. "Sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc…"
"Sh…" Ron shakes his head and gently wraps his arms around her back, chin sliding onto her shoulder. "Kim, um… has this ever happened to you before?"
She thinks really hard about it. "Y-y-y-y-y-y...ye…" She clamps her jaw tight, embarrassed, and blinks twice.
"I understand," he whispers. "I'm happy we can be together."
She wants to say Me too but she can't talk. She tries anyways. "Sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc…"
"Kim, you really don't have to…"
She really concentrates. It still doesn't come out.
"Scared?" Ron suggests. "You said scared earlier."
Kim nods and points at her mouth, shaking her head.
Ron's eyes water. He holds her a lot tighter.
Kim doesn't feel anything though when he holds her. She grabs his hand and guides it down to her stomach. She presses his hand against the massive cut underneath her blouse.
The blood is seeping through the blouse and onto Ron. He pulls back and looks around the apartment, and she sees that he's getting upset. She made a big mess doing everything she needed to do to break contact with Global Justice.
He looks back at her, stunned. But he doesn't hit her.
So she smashes her face against the splintered wood, and he has to pull her back. Ron drags Kim into the bathroom and she pulls off her clothes. All of it.
She sits naked on the floor while he slowly disinfects her massive cut.
When he touches her stomach, his flesh touches the blood. Her nerves shriek out and weird images filter through her mind, and she screams. Ron reels back, shocked, and she runs away, hiding under the blankets.
"Kim," Ron says darkly.
She shakes.
"Kim, get out of there right now," Ron snaps.
Meekly, she comes back out and looks at him. His face is twisted in anger, and she really thinks he'll hit her this time, but instead he reaches out from under the bed and gives her something. It's big and round and pink, with big white buck teeth. She touches it and her fingers sink in, it's so soft.
It looks familiar. She should know what this is but she can't remember.
"Remember Rufus, Kim?" Ron asks softly.
Kim points at her head. She doesn't remember anything anymore. But Ron doesn't seem to understand so she gives up.
"That's okay Kim. You probably have a lot of memory loss," Ron strokes her hair again. "He was my mole rat, he died a few years ago. I, uh, paid someone a lot of money to make that. But I think you need Rufus now more than me."
"Soft," she says, and smiles to herself.
"Yeah, he's soft," Ron smiles. "Can you be a good girl and let me patch you up?"
Kim's eyes widen.
Betty always pets Kim like a cat and tells her she's a good girl. But only after she does bad things. Rufus must be bad. Kim is bad and doesn't deserve nice things, so she hands Rufus back, and it makes her teary eyed again.
Ron forces Rufus back into her arms. He looks so confused.
"B-b-b-b-bad."
"No, stop that," Ron touches her shoulder. "You told me you're bleeding. I'm helping you now. Let me finish helping you."
She looks at her body. She feels so uncomfortable being naked around him, with him just touching her body. She bets he thinks she's really ugly.
"Hold Rufus, Kim," Ron whispers. "Rufus helps me out a lot."
Kim misses her Pandaroo. She wishes she was allowed to take him with her. She nods and holds Rufus tightly.
"Forgot Ruf. Sor."
"Sh," Ron gently lifts her up. "Don't worry about it."
When Kim was 19 years old in the original timeline, she married Ron Stoppable and kept her last name. They both went to college and maintained a long distance relationship. They agreed to never have children.
When Kim was 26, Ron hit Kim really hard.
When Kim was 27, she had to go to a shelter for battered women.
When Kim was 28, she got a divorce and got a desk job.
When Kim was 30, she learned what had happened to Ron. She went to him to help him and he hit her again.
When Kim was 32, Ron had embroiled the world in war. Kim hid away.
When Kim was 35, she stood up to Ron and he fatally stabbed her in the stomach.
She never blamed him.
But the more Ron works on Kim, the more she thinks about how this is a real human interaction. It doesn't make sense, and she knows that is messed up. She knows something is horribly wrong with her head.
Her body is ugly. It's marred by a matrix of scars from all the people that have tried to kill her. From head to toe, she looks like a marked up anatomy doll. Her face is even worse with a long scar running from the bottom of her left eye to her lip, making folds in her cheek.
Lots of people have butchered Kim. She's gotten good at playing possum though. They always think she'd dead, that she's lost enough blood. But Kim is like a ghoul and she can never be killed. She always gets back up and kills. She's stronger than everyone.
Each scar is a sign of weakness; if she was actually any good, she'd have no scars. She'd be pretty. But because she's no good, people like to beat her up. And sometimes she's not allowed to fight back. Especially at Global Justice. They kick her and kick her, and if she so much as looks at Betty while she does it, Kim will have to kill even more people.
She's strong at least. Her arms and legs are thick and dense with muscle. She's proud of that. Despite everything, she's worked to be tough. No one can beat her in a fight, she's made sure of that.
She slowly regains some of her consciousness. She can see the discomfort in Ron's eyes, both from the way she's been acting and the intimidation he feels towards seeing her body. She's been trained to identify these things.
She hands Rufus back suddenly.
"Thanks," he whispers, taking him under his arm. "I'm glad you're feeling better."
"One year, no talk," Kim tries to sound human but it just comes out in her standard monotone. "Had to relearn."
Ron just kinda stares at her; he's probably speechless.
"Sc-sc-scared-d," Kim says. "Can't talk."
"Y'know, I picked up on that," he snarks, giving her a look.
She doesn't respond and his face falls. "That was a joke."
Kim makes herself nod so he understands that she gets it. Even though she doesn't understand.
"Killed six hundred people."
He freezes for a second, and she thinks he's about to ignite the pain in her wound now. Try to slay the horrible monster or something but he just gently gets back to work. "But you didn't want to kill them, did you?"
"Don't know," Kim says. The only kills that ever affected her were Drakken and Shego. Everything else was white noise. "Embarrassed."
"Because you're naked? I mean, I don't really care…"
This is where a normal person would cry, Hell, with this kind of night, this is where Kim would cry to but she doesn't. "Hate Kim," she says.
Ron glances up at her and touches her cheeks, thumb crossing the ridges in her scaly skin. "I think about you a lot. I'm serious when I say, like… I wish I got to stay with you. You're not going back to Global Justice, are you?"
She shakes her head.
"Good," he says, looking back at the wound. "Because I wouldn't let you. Did they hurt you?"
Kim doesn't say anything. Global Justice saved her from going to jail and it wouldn't be nice to rat them out on what they did for her. She focuses on the sticky blood.
"Electrified myself today."
Ron stops moving.
"Bomb in head," Kim shrugs. "Destroy it. Scared."
"Good," Ron says. "Do you feel calm?"
Kim thinks about that. She's in a weird place and naked and with a boy who should hate her. But he lets her hold stuffed animals, and he protects her. But she doesn't feel like talking anymore so she blinks twice for him.
The more and more Ron works at it, the more Kim remembers. But it's all fake, she remembers things that never happened. A world where Ron never left and they got married, but then things got bad and he killed her. Or at least, almost killed her.
Something to do with the stomach. Ron killed her in the same spot he's patching up right now. It's triggering something that is undeniably real.
"What are you thinking about?" Ron asks, applying the bandage.
She looks at his lips and there's this unspoken thing that sparks between them. He leans in towards her and she grabs his shirt, gently pressing his lips to hers. It doesn't really feel like much, her lips went numb a long time ago. But her tongue works, and it goes into Ron's mouth.
It feels familiar. Kim kissed Ron before… but Kim is also a virgin who has never kissed anyone.
Maybe it was in that other world.
Ron is very gentle. He always waits for her to initiate. There is a moment where she has him pressed up against the wall. She reaches for his buckle, not really knowing what she is doing. Sex is still kind of scary. But she strips him anyways and climbs over him, looking down.
He's erect.
Something's wrong.
Kim kneels down and looks him in the eye. "N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n..."
"Sh," he coos, gently pushing her back. "Don't panic, sh."
"N-n-n-n-n-n…" she takes in a deep breath and touches Ron's thigh, squeezing it gently. His flesh is fluffy and soft, like a pillow. "Need to…" Her face screws up and she really tries to focus on being calm. She squeezes Rufus. "...talk. Can you talk with me."
"What's up?" he says weakly.
Kim hesitates.
And she tells Ron everything.
By the end of Kim's story, they are both naked in bed, lying on their sides, gazing at each other. Kim knows they're not going to have sex, it's just very intimate. Plus she's holding the Rufus plushie.
"So…" Ron's voice shakes like he's a boy again. "...it is my fault."
"No!" Kim feels an unusual emotion take over her. She feels protective, and it's almost embarrassing. But Ron seems to blush at her concern. "Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable."
"Huh? No, you…" he smiles. "You just sounded like the Kim I knew for a minute."
"O-oh," she sighs. She thinks that is good. "You did nothing wrong. I made those decisions. I think… I was just trying to keep you away, to keep you away from that magic. And I kept everyone away. And I never grew up."
Ron nods quietly. "We were married?"
"I dunno," she says. "I know I loved you."
"Aw geez," he blushes. "Wow… honestly? I know it's absurd but like… I trust you. Hey, whoa, why are you crying this time?"
Her cheeks are positively shining in the moonlight. "I don't know."
He stays still. "Maybe part of you is happy to have found me again."
Kim considers that. "I do feel happy."
"I still feel like it's my fault," Ron moans, flipping onto his back.
Kim watches him carefully. Ron is very expressive. She doesn't understand what most of it means. Already, the feelings she just had are fading. Even the memories. She's back to being this version of herself. "You are happy. You told me you're happy earlier. You should be proud."
He raises an eyebrow and then flips back onto his side, staring at with such a smirk.
It makes her feel frustrated. "Explain yourself."
"Deep inside of you, Kim, there's a girl who's really caring and wants people to feel happy."
Kim feels her heart thump and her cheeks burn.
He opens his mouth to continue and she stops him. "Kim is bad. She killed six hundred people for..."
"Kim, Kim," he gets closer to her.
She's shaking, body twisting into a fetal position.
"Wish killed myself," she gasps.
"No, Kim, you shouldn't have," Ron squeezes her shoulder. "No one's going to make you kill anyone again, okay?"
Kim sighs, exhausted. Points at her mouth and shakes her head.
"That's okay, Kim. You don't have to talk. You told me you're non-verbal, right?"
Kim blinks twice.
Ron reaches around and touches the special spot on her back and starts sobbing again. It's like she's wanted to cry for the past ten years and couldn't, and it's just happening today. In front of the boy that's falling in love with.
She releases Rufus and slides closer to Ron, pressing her body against his, twisting their limbs together. He is very warm and it makes her feel safe. She sinks into the bed, sniffling, and suddenly nibbles on Ron's ear. He giggles and it makes her lips curl up. Makes it hard to nibble. So she kisses his chest instead. The hairs tickle.
"Kim, do you know sign language?" Ron asks.
Kim looks up. Blinks once.
"That's okay, maybe we can get you lessons," Ron scratches behind her head. "I know you feel really embarrassed right now for um, crying, and being naked, and being nonverbal, but I'm really proud of you for trying to do this with me. You're a beautiful person and I'm beyond livid that anyone messed with you. You're safe now."
Kim looks around the apartment; she wants to move in with Ron but doesn't know how to ask. Her brain is exhausted. This is more socialization than she'd had in the past few years combined. She finds a notebook and scribbles a few things, then hands it to Ron.
Can I move in with you?
Can you help me talk to my mom and dad? I wasn't allowed to talk to them since Prom.
Can I be your girlfriend?
Ron covers his mouth with his hand, tearing up. Kim wishes he didn't cover his mouth because she can't tell if he's happy or sad at what she wrote down. But when he settles the notebook down, he gently kisses her neck and it tickles.
Kim laughs. Giggles like a little child playing with a cat. And maybe Ron doesn't understand the significance of it, but she does. Her laugh is like music to her own ears. She hasn't laughed since she was fifteen.
He catches on and tickles her for a long time and it makes her laugh so hard. Eventually, they both get tired. Ron smiles and drifts off. He falls asleep fast. He snores too. His snoring is also funny. She stays up for an hour, just watching him, studying him, listening. She has never been intimate with anyone.
She feels like a human.
She falls asleep at some point, and wakes up alone with Rufus in her arms. There's a note on the pillow. She looks at it, reading it carefully.
Mid-afternoon shift. I'm going to be back at 7. Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful. There's food in the fridge you can heat up. Take it easy today and if you need help, you can call me at…
So surreal. She feels so safe in this bed. She never wants to leave it. But eventually, she gets up. She heats up the food, and she goes for a walk. The next day, Ron helps her talk to her parents who are thankfully really understanding.
Most days, Kim can only say a few sentences. Anything more and she gets a panic attack.
She does have to see a doctor. Several. One regular doctor, one psychiatrist, and one therapist. Kim doesn't fight anymore and overtime her muscles thin out and get replaced with fat. Just like Ron. Her body is soft.
No one ever comes for Kim.
When she gets bored of hanging around naked all day, she goes to school to study stuff. She starts to explore a little bit of a missed adolescence. She smiles through most of her days.
She marries Ron. She revitalizes Ron's love for animals and convinces him to let them adopt a ton of rescues from the local shelters. Kim really likes cats and dogs especially. The rats are cute too, though.
It takes about three years for some of Kim's speech patterns to finally start dying out. When she proposes to Ron, she speaks for five straight minutes without stopping, and Ron sobs harder than she did the day they reunited.
Kim is 35 when she realizes she could have found the Tempus Simia again and used it to fix things so maybe she wouldn't have turned out so fucked up. But then she looks at her scars in the mirror like she used to, and remembers who she used to be.
And she doesn't want to be anybody else than who she is now.