Disclaimer: I do not own any property in this work that I did not make myself.
Fiction Fighters
Chapter twelve: Dale Gribble vs. Sticks the Jungle Badger (King of the Hill vs. Sonic (Sonic Boom))
One night in a neighborhood in Arlen, the Gribbles were awoken in the middle of the night by some manner of noise happening outside of their house. "What was that?" Nancy said in a startled tone, sounding and looking alarmed by the sudden noise that woke her up.
"Don't worry, Nancy, I'll go check it out," Dale said as he got up out of bed, wearing only a pair of sleep pants of a dark reddish brown hue. He put on his signature shades and hat, then he grabbed a nearby baseball bat so that he was armed to confront what made the noise.
"Probably just a raccoon rummaging through our garbage, though," Dale remarked before he left the bedroom, "Hank told me and the other guys it's starting to become a problem as of late. About time that I show that I am good at getting rid of all sorts of pests, not just bugs."
Dale then left the bedroom, then made his way outside and walked around the side of his house. Sure enough, Dale spotted someone, or something, had knocked over his trashcans. And it seemed that something was rummaging through the one closest to him.
"Alright, raccoon!" Dale yelled, holding his bat ready to strike, "Come out with your paws up!"
"Who you calling a raccoon?!" a youthful yet mildly raspy female voice snapped from the knocked over trashcan. Crawling out of the trashcan was a... a humanoid badger girl dressed like she lives in a jungle area somewhere. She also came out wielding a boomerang.
"Gaahh! Hank was wrong!" Dale exclaimed, "It wasn't raccoons rummaging through our garbage, it was aliens!"
"I'm no raccoon and I'm no alien!" the humanoid badger girl scowled, "The name's Sticks, and I'm a jungle badger! You look like you're gonna keep me from rummaging through the garbage, so I'm gonna have to defend myself!" Sticks then leapt up and flew at Dale, ready to fight.
Dale tried to take a swing at Sticks with the baseball bat he brought with him, but Sticks was able to push off of it with her left foot, using it as leverage to go up a bit more, before she swung around in the air and struck Dale away with her other foot, sending Dale reeling. Sticks then landed and threw her boomerang at Dale, striking him again before the boomerang came back to her.
Dale was still standing, although he wasn't sure how he was going to fight off an alien badger girl dressed like she lives in a jungle area. "You're like Tarzan if he were a teenage alien badger girl!" Dale called out as he pointed his bat accusingly at Sticks as she got ready to throw her boomerang at Dale for a second time.
"I told you, I am no alien!" Sticks snapped, "Heck, you look more alien that I do! You also look like you belong to the same species as Dr. Eggman!" Pointing her boomerang accusingly at Dale, Sticks snarled at him, "Are you working for Eggman, you villain?!"
"I don't work for anyone who sounds like he works for the government!" Dale retorted, "This Eggman person sounds like he wants to control all of us by releasing mind controlling chemicals into the water supply!"
"No, the people who want to control our thoughts are gonna use a machine to mess with our brain waves," Sticks retorted, "That's why we need tin foil to protect our heads from the machine's mind altering signal waves!"
"Feh, that is SO last season," Dale scoffed, "And my friends think that I'M a paranoid conspiracy nut!" Dale was able to inch closer while distracting Sticks with conversation, and when he was close to her he attempted to take a swing at her with his baseball bat, succeeding with a swing that struck Sticks on the outer side of her left thigh. "Aha! Got you!" Dale exclaimed.
"Gaahh!" Sticks cried out, hurting but she was slightly more surprised. She was able to recover from being thrown by the force of the swing, and leapt up to grip the side of a fence before taking out her boomerang again and throwing it at Dale. He tried to swing at the boomerang to bat it away, but he missed, the boomerang hit him, and then it flew back to Sticks's waiting hand.
The instant that her boomerang was back in her hand, Sticks leapt up and flew at Dale, striking him away with a double foot slam to his gut. Dale stumbled backwards a bit, almost losing the grip he had on his bat, and barely recovered in time to see Sticks rushing at him. Dale gripped his bat and took a swing at Sticks.
Seeing that coming, Sticks stopped mid-charge and leapt backwards to avoid Dale's attack. "You're a much smarter member of your species than Eggman, that's for sure," Sticks said while pointing her boomerang at Dale, "You're able to fight well on your own, Eggman has to send robots against me and my friends, and he usually flees after we destroy his robots."
"I find it hard to believe that you fought someone who sounds like he works for the government," Dale said, "And we're years away from robot drones who can fight people in the field!"
"I've seen it with my own eyes, Eggman species person!" Sticks retorted, "If you've seen what I've seen, then you'd be nodding along in agreement with me!" Sticks then threw her boomerang at Dale again, this time taking careful aim.
Dale took careful aim with his bat as he wanted to try to swing at the boomerang again. But he not only missed again, Sticks's boomerang managed to strike the back of one of his hands, surprising Dale as well as hurting him. This resulted in Dale dropping his baseball bat, right before he rubbed the back of his stricken hand. "Gaahh, that stings!" Dale cried out.
"And there's more where that came from!" Sticks cried out as she ran in, catching her returning boomerang on the way, and did a back flip that struck Dale on his right side, sending him stumbling backwards. He fell to a half-kneeling position and, seeing that Dale was down, Sticks rushed in to strike while the iron was hot.
However, when Sticks was close enough, Dale who had secretly taken a handful of sand from one of the pockets on his sleep pants threw the sand at Sticks while crying out, "Pocket Sand!"
"Gaahh!" Sticks cried out as she jerked away. She was able to avoid being blinded in both eyes, but her right eye got a bit of sand in it, making her stumble backwards as she tried to rub and brush her sanded eye to get the sand out of it. While Sticks was vulnerable like that, Dale got up, found where his bat had landed, ran over to grab it, and then he rushed Sticks.
Dale was able to land a solid blow on Sticks's right side, taking advantage of how Sticks's right side was more compromised due to her right eye being blinded. Sticks was thrown back, landing face down in a fairly deep puddle of water from rain earlier in the day. "Have you had enough yet, alien badger girl?" Dale called out in a taunting manner as Sticks struggled to get back onto her feet.
Luckily for her, the water from the puddle she landed in was able to wash enough of the sand from her compromised eye away to let her function well enough again, she just had to wipe some water away. "You're a really crafty foe, I'll give you that," Sticks began, "But I've taken down more enemies than I bet you've ever seen in your life, mister!"
Sticks then threw her boomerang at Dale again. He tried swinging at the boomerang to bat it away, but he missed given that he tried swinging higher than what Sticks had ended up aiming for. The boomerang struck Dale on the outer side of his left thigh before it flew back to Sticks's waiting hand, before she rushed in to strike Dale with a kick.
She was careful to go around Dale and try to strike him from a blind spot, given that she wanted to avoid another bout of Dale's Pocket Sand. While behind Dale, Sticks did a back flip that struck Dale in his back, making him stumble forward with a cry of surprised pain. He barely turned around just in time to see Sticks rush him yet again.
Dale took a swing at Sticks with his bat, but Sticks seeing this coming jumped back, even pushing against Dale's bat with her right foot, and landed a ways away from him. "You're being really hard to pin down," Sticks said as she pointed her boomerang at Dale again, "Are you somehow able to read my thoughts and are predicting what I'm going before I do it?!"
"Feh, like I'd ever stoop so low as to use mind reading," Dale scoffed back, "I'm not a member of the government, alien badger girl!"
"I keep telling you," Sticks said, "I'm no alien!"
"That's just what an alien would tell me to try to trick me!" Dale exclaimed. With a yell, he ran right at Sticks with his baseball bat raised to take a swing at her, but the Jungle Badger jumped away to the side and hung on the side of a fence, gripping the top and hanging there like she was some sort of friendly neighborhood web slinger.
Dale rushed where Sticks was hanging to try hitting her again, but she jumped away in time, landing on her feet about two meters away. Dale as he turned to face Sticks was struck by her boomerang again, which returned to her grip when Dale was about halfway to where Sticks now stood. She was able to leap out of the way of Dale's obvious and clumsy charge, then she jumped back to gain a bit of distance between her and her opponent.
"I have to hand it to you," Sticks remarked while pointing her boomerang commendingly at Dale when he turned to face her, "You're a lot more difficult to deal with than Eggman. It's actually rather worrying what Eggman would be capable of if he were as hard to beat as you."
"Your cheap alien flattery will get you nowhere with me!" Dale proclaimed as he raised his baseball bat overhead and ran straight at Sticks. Seeing this coming, Sticks while focusing on aim as well as timing threw her boomerang at Dale, striking him right in the face, stunning him and making him drop his baseball bat.
While Dale was stunned like that, Sticks with her boomerang back in her hand rushed in, jumped up, and struck Dale in the side of his head with a spinning kick move, sending Dale reeling until he fell over onto the ground. He was pained, gasping for breath, and unable to get back up. "Go ahead, you alien badger girl," Dale spat, knowing that he was beat, "Do your worst to me. We both know that there's no way out of this for me."
Scowling in mild annoyance, Sticks said, "For the last time, I am no ali-"
"Hwhat the hell is that thing?!"
Sticks was cut off when Hank Hill, wearing only sleep pants, came running out into the alley. Other residents of the neighborhood, including Hank and Dale's friends Bill and Boomhauer, also dressed like they had just gotten out of bed, also came running out into the alley. "Is... is that one of those aliens that Dale says are real?" Hank said, clearly sounding and looking like he couldn't believe his eyes as he and the others were looking right at Sticks.
"Ah! There's more of the same species as Eggman!" Sticks exclaimed, right before throwing her arms into the air and running away, while her arms remained in the air.
Hank, Bill, and Boomhauer all ran to where Dale laid defeated on the ground. "Dale! Did that weird girl creature do this to you?" Hank asked.
"That girl... alien badger girl..." Dale said weakly, "...aliens are real, Hank... and they're badger girls." Dale then passed out. Hank and the others, checking Dale, confirmed that he was going to be fine, but he needed to be brought inside, so Hank and Bill picked him up and carried him right on over to his house to let Nancy know what happened.
WINNER: STICKS THE JUNGLE BADGER
END, CHAPTER TWELVE
Author's notes;
This chapter sees two conspiracy nuts (that's what Dale and Sticks both have in common) go head to head, but whereas one is a normal human, the other one is an anthropomorphic badger girl who's friends with the fastest thing alive and also helps said friend regularly fight robots. It shouldn't be all that difficult to reason out who'd win in a one on one clash.
Sticks after she defeated Dale ran away due to Hank, Bill, and Boomhauer coming out to check what was making noise in the alleyway. But she still defeated Dale, so the win credit for this fight still goes to Sticks. Anyway, the next chapter should be out before too long, and it'll continue... only part of an ongoing storyline in this story. Until then, take care.
Next time, on Fiction Fighters...
Kuki Sanban, otherwise known as Numbuh Three, stood in front of a jail cell in the Sector V tree house. Inside of the jail cell sat a younger kid, this being a fair skinned, brown haired boy who was wearing a pair of blue baggy shorts, white short sleeved dress shirt, and distinctive red cap with a pair of small little horns on the front of it.
"KND sources say that you're part of a society of actual superheroes with actual superpowers," Numbuh Three said to the boy in the jail cell as she paced back and forth, "You'll be telling the KND higher ups everything that you know so we can get some superheroes to help up defeat the tyranny of adults all over the world once and for all!"
Scowling bitterly, the kid snarled, "No way will I ever say anything to you crazy kids! I heard about you KND lot, my big cousin told me you're dangerous kids threatening the stability of world peace. So good luck in getting me to say anything at all! ...Not, of course, do I actually think that I seriously have any info you KND dorks would find usef-"
*WRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY*
The kid in the jail cell, as well as Numbuh Three, perked up when an alarm in the Sector V base went off suddenly. "That's the alarm that plays when a teenager enters the base!" Numbuh Three cried out, "It's bad enough Numbuhs One and Two were kidnapped by teenagers, but now more of them are coming in?! This isn't good!"
Whereas Numbuh Three was panicking, the kid in the jail cell was smirking. "Aww yeah," said the kid in the jail cell, "Big Bro is here! Your goose is cooked now, you KND dork!"
Ignoring the kid in the jail cell, Numbuh Three ran into the main area of the tree house, a two by four tech laser gun drawn. "Alright, teenager!" Numbuh Three called out, "Come out with your hands-" Numbuh Three was cut off when a whip of black energy lashed out, grabbed her gun, and yanked it out of her hands, surprising her.
Then the entire room filled with smoke, obscuring Numbuh Three's vision. "Give him back," a male teenager's voice called out, "Give Kota back, you brats." Numbuh Three was scared, as the smoke was making it impossible to tell where the teenager's voice was coming from.
Suddenly, smoke in front of Numbuh Three broke away, only to reveal Izuku Midoriya, Full Cowling already active, flying right at her, a look of fury on his face as he had his right fist pulled back to strike our with a devastating Smash. "Give Kota back right now!" Izuku demanded, ready to do what was necessary to save Kota Izumi, even if it means fighting another young kid.
Numbuh Theee vs. Izuku Midoriya (Codename: Kids Next Door vs. Boku no Hero Academia)