Chapter 45 – the grilled cheese redemption
"Please, father," Azula sighed, watching Ozai go through her belongings in the bedroom. "I'm twenty-five, isn't it time we dispense with these intrusions in my privacy? It is demeaning to us both."
"I'm sure you'd like that," Ozai grumbled, casually going through Azula's drawers. "Zuko raised the same protestations last night. It's like you're forgetting that I'm paying you both a monthly stipend of twenty grand. I consider it a price of your privacy."
"Whatever you say, father," Azula frowned. The money transfers she was getting from Ozai were certainly very generous, and would be sorely missed if she lost the competition to Zuko, or did something extremely insane like rebel against her father. Katara, Kiyi and everyone else who hoped that she would stay in Caldera City had no idea just what kind of fortune she would be throwing away. "I'm simply trying to save your precious time, because I know you won't find anything… whatever it is that you're trying to find."
"Well, I'm starting to accept that you may be right, Azula," Ozai replied a while later, putting away the blacklight and the bacteria meter from his 'Hotel Hell' toolkit. "Your standards of cleanliness are impeccable as always. They certainly blow Zuko's standards out of the water."
"Why am I not surprised?" Azula chuckled to herself. Zuko had always been a little sloppy with regards to cleanliness, and even if he wasn't a dirty pig, he was currently living with Jet, and Azula knew all about Jet's lack of standards from his time at The Northern Lights. "Why don't we return to the kitchen, father? Your coffee will get cold."
"Very well," Ozai nodded in agreement. They sat down in the kitchen of Azula's rent apartment, sipping their coffees in silence that was slowly starting to build up Azula's anxiety levels.
"So," Azula began nervously, finding the silence intolerable. "I remember you saying that you would be speaking with me and Zuko today, but now you mentioned having already spoken with him last night?"
"Yes, I did not want to give Zuko time to prepare for my visit," Ozai said, sounding a little frustrated. "I'm not sure what to think about him staying with this Jet character. It's just odd, the way he's still in the picture. He was supposed to be working at your restaurant, but as I understand it, you kicked him out and then he winds up with Zuko? That's a string of very bizarre coincidences."
"What are you saying, father?" Azula asked uncertainly. "I fired him because he was embezzling from the restaurant. I couldn't tolerate it if I was going to fix the place."
"Well, there's nothing suspicious about that part of the story," Ozai shrugged. "I simply find Zuko's excuses of still searching for a rent apartment to be ridiculous. You clearly had no trouble finding a nice place for yourself, and Zuko gets the same amount of money from me," Ozai said, looking around Azula's apartment. "It's almost as if he wants to stay with this miscreant Jet."
"I can't imagine anyone wanting that," Azula quipped. "Anyway, Zuko has always been completely disorganized, you know that. And with the competition ending shortly, he probably doesn't see the point of moving into a new apartment."
"I suppose," Ozai grumbled. "I just couldn't shake off the feeling of something gay going on in that apartment." He narrowed his eyes at Azula. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
Azula swallowed a little nervously as Ozai stared firmly at her. Ozai was giving her an opportunity to win the competition with one decisive strike. In soccer terms, she had possession of the ball in front of a yawning net and she only needed a soft nudge to score a goal. But for all the nastiness of their rivalry, Azula and Zuko had never ratted out each other's sexuality to their father, and Azula couldn't find it in her to do so now. Azula had never felt the need to go so low in order to defeat her brother, and she didn't see the reason to start now.
"As far as I know, Zuko and Jet are just friends, father," Azula said. "Which is pretty gross in itself, because Jet is so icky," she added, making a barfing sound. "But I don't think there's anything gay going on. I mean, not that much time has passed since Zuko and Mai broke up."
"Perhaps you're right," Ozai finally conceded. "In any case, there better not be any gay stuff going on in that apartment. I would rather make burgers out of my own ass cheeks than let a faggot run my culinary empire."
"I… see," Azula gulped. "I guess it means that you wouldn't approve if I wanted to date another girl, then?" she dared to pose the question.
In response, Ozai reached out across the kitchen table and delivered a smack to Azula's cheek. It wasn't a particularly hard blow, but it still stung a little and made Azula's eyes fill with tears of humiliation. "You deserve that for joking about something so impropriate," Ozai barked at her. "And with that, let's bring the focus back from Zuko to you. Your own dating game has been lacking, Azula. After that whole debacle with Chan's infidelity, you should have seized the moment to put yourself back into the spotlight. You used to be so much better at milking potential for publicity! Instead, you have allowed your social media accounts to lay near abandoned."
"I'm sorry, it's just that I've been pouring all of myself into this competition, father," Azula hastily apologized. She wasn't being entirely truthful, but Azula could not admit to having been distracted by Katara and the other girls. Also, befriending actual people and reconnecting with her mother's side of the family, had in a way revealed the hollowness of her follower count and engagement numbers to Azula. At the end of the day, the growth of her YouTube channel or a Tweet going viral didn't bring Azula nearly as much satisfaction as interacting with friends and family. "I should have hired a PR person to take care of my socials, though," Azula added quickly. Her cheek still stung and she didn't want to say anything else that would provoke her father's anger. "I'll get right on that, I promise."
"See that you do," Ozai nodded sternly. "But it's not like you're unique in deserving this criticism. Zuko has been just as negligent about his online presence. When was the last time either of you were trending?"
"Sorry," Azula lowered her eyes. The last time anything associated with her name had gone viral was on the occasion when Zuko had planted a dead rat inside The Northern Lights restaurant. That wasn't something she wanted to bring to her father's attention. "But it just proves what I said, we've both been too focused on this competition to think of little else," Azula insisted.
"I don't buy it," Ozai shook his head. "I remember putting you through your paces back in Ba Sing Se, and that didn't stop you from landing one viral bomb after another. But after coming here, it's almost like you and Zuko have both been trying to avoid the spotlight. It's completely unacceptable. No child of mine shall ever shy from popularity."
"Considering what's at stake, I personally do not want any distractions," Azula said, starting to get tired of her father's persistence about this trivial matter.
"I'll drop it for now, but rest assured, we'll address the issue after the competition," Ozai said. "I will throw a splendorous soiree in your honor back in Ba Sing Se, with plenty of eligible bachelors and massive interest from the tabloids. We'll get you right back in the eye of public attention, and the same goes for Zuko."
"I can't wait, father," Azula replied obediently, swallowing a heavy sigh. The reluctance to return to Ba Sing Se inevitably continued to grow within Azula, especially at the prospect of once again being paraded around in public by her father, displayed like the finest cut of meat.
"I'm sure you can't," Ozai rolled his eyes. "Anyway, before I leave… I have a task for you."
"What is it, father?" Azula immediately perked up. It was embarrassing how even if Ozai's plans for her were gradually filling Azula with revulsion, she still couldn't fight the overpowering urge to please her father.
"You may recall that a while ago, I posted a certain video of making a grilled cheese sandwich that was completely misinterpreted and unappreciated by the ignorant masses of unwashed online trolls," Ozai said, looking furious.
"I… seem to remember something like that, yes," Azula said demurely. Obviously, that grilled cheese video had been a complete disaster, getting ratioed into oblivion. And predictably, Ozai was clearly blaming everybody but himself for it. "Why are you bringing it up, father?" Azula asked.
"Because I have long wished to address these ignorant and unfair criticisms that have been cast my way after posting the video," Ozai explained. "So, I plan to shoot another video of making the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. And I want to shoot it at your restaurant."
"That's, uh… very flattering, but with the limited kitchen space we have-"
"If you could just shut up and allow me to finish, then you would know that it won't be a problem," Ozai glared at her, making Azula freeze in terror. "Obviously, I know that your kitchen is too small for what I have in mind. But you have a lot of space outside the restaurant. Weather forecast for tomorrow seems perfect, so we'll be shooting outside. This way, we can also have a supportive crowd cheering me on."
"We could cordon off a part of the car park, yes," Azula quickly recovered. "I think it would make a nice place for a shoot. You would have a beautiful park in the background."
"Alright, now you're thinking, finally," Ozai nodded approvingly. Azula hated how she immediately felt warm all over from this small and insignificant token of approval. "My task for you is to organize everything for the shoot. Well, aside from the filming crew, I have my own people coming in tomorrow, and they're bringing their own gear. But I want you to set up the location, make sure that I have all the necessary equipment, and most importantly, I want you to stretch your atrophied social media muscles and make sure that we have a large audience! Advertise the event as much as you can!"
"Okay… I can do that," Azula nodded, her mind already spinning with ideas. "When do you want to do the shoot?" she asked.
"Hmm, let's say tomorrow at midday," Ozai said. "That work for you?"
"Yes, we can do that," Azula replied, already busy plotting on how to deal with this logistical nightmare that Ozai had just dumped on her. Dragging the kitchen equipment out of the restaurant just for one shoot was definitely a no go, so she quickly needed to organize some rent equipment. Then they needed to cordon off parts of the parking lot and also cancel tomorrow's lunch service… or at least postpone it until after the end of the shoot, because it would be foolish not to take advantage of the large crowd that would already be there, hungry from watching Ozai Nakamura's grilled cheese redemption video. And even if Azula hadn't been posting on her social media for weeks, she was certain that rounding up a few hundred people in Caldera City would be an easy task. It wasn't every day that people could watch the famous Ozai Nakamura cooking in a live setting.
"Alright," Ozai nodded. "Don't disappoint me, Azula. This is important for my reputation. So, do a good job and it will mean a lot for my final decision when choosing the winner of this competition."
"Understood, father," Azula managed a nervous smile. "Will you be continuing your inspection today?" she asked, praying that Ozai would stay away from The Northern Lights. With everything that she had to do to organize tomorrow's video shoot, Azula didn't think that she could both do that and also entertain her father without snapping and throwing herself from the roof terrace.
"No, you will not see me until tomorrow when I arrive for the shoot," Ozai informed her. "I have several important business meetings scheduled for the rest of the day, including reassuring some nervous shareholders. The kind of thing that you will also have to take care of should you defeat your brother and win this competition."
"Yes, father," Azula said obediently, trying to summon any enthusiasm for the prospects that Ozai was describing, but failing spectacularly. "Then I will see you tomorrow?"
"That's right," Ozai said, setting the cup of coffee back on the table before rising and turning to leave. "Good luck, Azula, but do get a move on because you have plenty to take care off for the shoot."
"I know, father," Azula replied quickly. "You have nothing to worry about, everything will be taken care of," she promised as Ozai left the apartment. For once her father wasn't wrong. He had left her with some difficult and time-consuming tasks to take care of, and Azula needed to get her ass into gear if she didn't want to end up disappointing her father.
Katara was not having a good time during Ozai Nakamura's visit in Caldera City. Katara had been raised to try and see the good in everyone, it was something her mother had been especially adamant about. But Katara was having a hard time not showing her immeasurable disgust for Ozai Nakamura whenever she was in the same room with the man. How could she not hate this loathsome toxic sociopath who had messed up his daughter so badly that despite years of mistreatment, she still could not shake off the shackles that bound her?
It was a relief that Ozai had left them alone on Wednesday, attending to his other business ventures in the city. Still, Azula had been in a terrible rush to set up everything for Ozai's video shoot this Thursday morning. It was extremely hard for Katara to motivate herself to help Azula in her attempts to please Ozai. It wasn't just because Katara hated Azula's father, it was also because Azula's success meant that she would be as good as gone from Katara's life. Katara couldn't quite push herself as far as rooting against Azula, but the whole affair was deeply complicated. It was also clear that she wasn't the only one around the restaurant who felt this way, and Azula obviously understood that, doing everything herself and asking for help only as the last resort, also because she didn't want to disrupt Wednesday's service.
It was now Thursday morning, and even though the regular lunch service was canceled, Katara and the rest of the crew had showed up to watch the shoot. Azula had set up an impromptu cooking station in a cordoned off part of the parking lot. Ozai was already behind the station, preparing his mise en place and sorting out his pots and pans. The filming crew were also getting ready, running their final checks. A large crowd had gathered already, probably as many as two hundred people, pushing into the parking lot and looking very excited and curious. Azula had suggested that they try and lure this crowd into the restaurant following the shoot and make up for the lost profits from the cancelled lunch service, and it was starting to look like a very solid plan.
"I guess they're getting ready to start filming," Katara remarked. She was standing next to Azula on the little patio just outside the restaurant. It offered a great unobstructed look at the cooking station in the parking lot.
"Yes, looks like it," Azula replied hurriedly. Katara had never seen Azula quite like this, fidgeting and wringing her hands, and generally being a complete mess. The idea that a parent could put their child in such a state, willingly or not, was revolting to Katara. She could get nervously excited about seeing her dad, but this kind of fear or even downright terror? Ozai Nakamura was truly a monster.
"I'm sure it'll go just fine, Azula," Katara offered, trying to be supportive, even if deep inside she was fantasizing about Ozai accidentally chopping off his own fingers before setting himself on fire.
"I'm sure it will," Azula replied numbly. Katara was about to reach out and offer Azula's hand a comforting squeeze, but just then someone interrupted her by emerging from the restaurant to join them.
"This is some crowd, isn't it?" Sokka asked, looking around excitedly with dollar signs in his eyes. "I hope your idea of converting all these people into paying customers works out, Azula. This could really boost our visibility!"
"Why wouldn't it work out?" Azula shrugged. "All these people will probably feel hungry after watching my father cook."
"True," Sokka nodded eagerly as they watched Ozai getting ready. "Hey, Azula? Why does your Fuhrer need five pots and pans to make a grilled cheese sandwich? I only ever need one pan for it."
"Wait, did you just call Ozai Azula's Fuhrer?" Katara snorted.
"Well, if it looks, walks and quacks like a duck-"
"Yes, yes, your point is well taken, Sokka," Azula hastily interrupted Katara's brother. "As for your actual question… I believe that he simply sees this as an opportunity to push our family's Hex Clad cookware brand."
"Oh, right," Sokka rolled his eyes. "All hail the mighty product placement!" he sniggered. "Anyway, you want to come and join us upstairs? The rest of us will be watching from the roof, the view is even better."
"No, I… I'll stay down here," Azula replied nervously. "I want to be on hand in case… something happens."
Katara sighed inwardly. "I'll stay as well. You go, Sokka," she nodded at her brother. Sokka shrugged and went back inside the restaurant.
"They're about to start shooting," Azula said just as Katara had returned her attention to the parking lot. Indeed, Ozai seemed to be done with his preparations and the crowd was also starting to get into it, cheering loudly.
"Now, as some of you may remember, a while ago I made the most extraordinary grilled cheese sandwich," Ozai made his pompous opening statement. The crowd reacted with nervous laughter. "I was really up against it during the filming of that video. We didn't have much time for a shoot. Not making any complaints here," Ozai gesticulated wildly. "Also, the video was edited very poorly, but don't worry, those responsible have long since been terminated." Ozai blinked, laughing awkwardly. "I mean, their contracts have long since been terminated."
"Well, I'm glad he's not making any excuses," Katara rolled her eyes. "He could have always chosen not to upload that video."
"My father surrounds himself with too many yes-men," Azula nodded in agreement. Katara's tongue was itching with the barbed question of whether Azula herself wasn't just another yes-woman for her father, but she swallowed those words for now.
"Still, since that video was received so poorly, I have decided to make a grilled cheese redemption video in front of my amazing audience!" Ozai added with flair, causing the spectators to break out into cheers. "I am now ready to finally show you how to make the most perfect grilled cheese sandwich! Are you guys ready?" The crowd yelled in raucous excitement. "Here I have the most amazing local country bread," Ozai continued, displaying the first of his ingredients.
"Again, why so thick?" Azula groaned. "I don't get it."
"It blocks the heat from penetrating, right?" Katara asked. She wasn't a master chef or anything, but Katara liked to think that she at least knew a few basic rules of cooking. Also, people usually loved her grilled cheese sandwiches when she made them. It was more than could be said about Ozai Nakamura's grilled cheese.
"Yes, and I don't understand how my father doesn't realize that," Azula sighed. "Once again, he's making it harder on himself."
"In between the bread, we'll have some amazing mushrooms and braised short rib, and we'll combine them with a fantastic homemade jalapeno jam," Ozai continued to show off his mise en place.
"So… it's not actually a grilled cheese sandwich, is it?" Katara blinked in surprise.
Azula facepalmed hard. "It's not what most people would call grilled cheese, no," she said. The crowd looked extremely confused as well. "Leave it to my father to overcompensate and overcomplicate, I guess."
"Well, at least the jalapeno jam sounds very nice," Katara said. "I could go for that."
"Please, don't joke about this," Azula said in a strained voice. "If this doesn't go well, my father will surely blame me."
"Sorry," Katara apologized. She reached out and briefly touched Azula's hand, noticing how clammy with cold sweat it was. "But surely you had no input in what he's making, right?" Katara asked.
"No, but it doesn't work that way with my father," Azula sighed. "If something goes wrong, it can't be his fault, so…"
"We'll start by cooking off some mushrooms," meanwhile, Ozai was going full speed ahead with his redemption video, drizzling olive oil into one of his hot pans and then tossing some chopped up mushrooms into it. "Now, let's get some color on those mushrooms. As you know, no color means no flavor."
Azula sighed aloud. "Technically, it's not color that gives things flavor," she groaned. "The reason why we cook mushrooms is to extract water from them. Water doesn't taste of anything, and getting rid of water gives mushrooms more flavor." Ozai then added some salt and chili flakes to the pan with mushrooms. "Well, at least he seasoned them," Azula looked relieved.
"Because salt is how we get rid of water," Katara said.
"Exactly," Azula nodded. "My father obviously knows all these things. It's just that he has never been a great educator. He will tell you to do the right thing, but he won't explain why it's the right thing."
"I still maintain that mushrooms on a grilled cheese sandwich are not a welcome addition," Katara frowned. "I don't think that anyone in the history of ever has asked for mushrooms on their grilled cheese."
"Fair point," Azula agreed. "I think my father is setting himself up for more ridicule with those mushrooms," she cringed as Ozai now moved on to his jalapeno jam, boastfully throwing the ingredients into another hot pan, jalapenos, sliced ginger, chopped cherry tomatoes and shallots.
"That jalapeno jam does look tasty," Katara was forced to admit. "Again, I don't think anyone has ever asked for it, but unlike the mushrooms, I can see it going well with the grilled cheese."
"True," Azula nodded. "And it's a big upgrade from the kimchi he used for the disastrous first video. That kimchi went down like a led balloon." Once Ozai had gotten the jam going, he went back to stirring the mushrooms, this time stressing how important it was to get the water out of them. "Well, he finally mentioned it, if only as an aside," Azula smiled thinly.
"To be fully honest, I think it's going to be a tasty sandwich," Katara said, listening to Ozai praise the leftover braised short rib he was going to use in the filling. "It's just not what anyone would call a grilled cheese."
"Sadly, I think you're right," Azula sighed. "Which means that in a few days we'll be waking up to a world of memes about how the most famous chef of his generation doesn't understand the concept of a grilled cheese sandwich."
"And regardless of what your father says, it will be 100% his own fault," Katara said firmly. "You shouldn't accept any blame for this. Seriously, you have to stand up for yourself."
"I… I should," Azula replied uncertainly. Obviously, she was already calculating her chances of winning the competition and seeing them disintegrate if she dared to disagree with her father.
"Anyway, I'm just saying. Maybe people will love the sandwich even if it's not technically grilled cheese," Katara shrugged as they listened to Ozai boasting about how he was totally going to make sure that this time the cheese in his sandwich actually melted, unlike in his previous attempt.
"Maybe," Azula said as Ozai fished a huge piece of braised short rib out of one of the many pots and started to cut it into slices. "Agni, why are you slicing it so thick again, father?" Azula groaned. "He's just making that sandwich even thicker and creating additional levels of insulation."
"So, what you're saying is that there's no way the cheese will melt?" Katara wondered.
"I mean… I don't know what cheese he picked this time," Azula shrugged. "Hopefully he made better selections than for the previous video."
Ozai then spent the next few minutes finishing his jalapeno chutney and removing it and the cooked mushrooms from the stove, while regaling the gathered spectators with some celebrity bullshit that made the crowd chuckle politely. Then Ozai began to work on the bread. "Wait, did I hear that correctly?" Katara asked as Ozai placed the two thick slices in the frying pan. "He lathered them with all that mayo? Not butter? That sounds gross…"
"It's actually a rather clever idea," Azula explained. "Mayo has a much higher smoke point than butter. If you're cooking with butter, it's so much easier to burn the bread before it becomes uniformly cooked and crispy. With mayo, you can cook it much more evenly, and the crust is beautiful."
"Hmm, okay… I'll trust you on that one," Katara frowned. "I don't know if I'll switch to mayo myself, though. That sounds incredibly unhealthy."
"Well, we're talking about grilled cheese here, Katara. It's not exactly a health food item," Azula chuckled.
"Sure, but still…" Katara sighed. She couldn't help but notice that when Ozai flipped the slices of bread, one of the slices was way more cooked and nearly burnt, while the other still looked like it had gotten barely any heat. Much to Katara's surprise, however, Ozai didn't remove the bread from the pan, instead continuing to cook the other side. "What… what is he doing now?" she gasped in surprise.
"I… truly have no idea," Azula managed, sounding genuinely perplexed. "This is not how you make a grilled cheese sandwich…"
"You just cook one side first, right?" Katara asked, still feeling confused. The crowd of spectators had also gone quiet, almost like they were witnessing the funeral of yet another fine grilled cheese sandwich. "Then you flip one of the slices over, cheese it and top it with the other slice, crispy and hot side down. That's still the way to do it, or am I completely out of touch with the grilled cheese community?"
"That's what you normally do, yes. It's what he tried to do in his first video, remember?" Azula replied. "But I think it has become painfully clear that this is no ordinary grilled cheese sandwich," she added as Ozai removed the slices of bread, cooked from both sides, from the pan. Ozai then began building his sandwich, starting with a layer of cheese, then adding the mushrooms, another layer of cheese, thick slices of braised short rib, more cheese, several spoonsful of the jalapeno jam, and finally more cheese, while obsessively seasoning every new layer.
"Spirits, just look at the size of that sandwich," Katara gasped as the construction of the monstrous abomination continued. "This is so ridiculous. Probably very tasty, but ridiculous."
"It's so incredibly thick!" Azula exclaimed. "How does he expect the cheese to melt on the inside?"
"Especially when he can't really cook it for very long in the pan, right?" Katara asked. "I mean, the bread is already pretty dark on the outside. Another minute in a hot pan, and it will get burnt."
"Yes, exactly," Azula nodded. "I don't understand what he's going for. At least, this time he actually picked cheeses that stand a chance of melting."
"Yes, I like to use cheddar and gruyere for my grilled cheese as well," Katara agreed, as they continued to watch Ozai's construction of the sandwich. After he had built it up to a ridiculous height, Ozai then threw a handful of grated cheddar on the other slice of bread that was supposed to go on top of the sandwich. He then took the piece of bread and flipped it to cover the sandwich, most of the grated cheese falling off from it and ending up on the cutting board. Ozai made no reaction to all the mess he had just made, continuing to jokingly issue prayers for all the higher powers to help the cheese melt.
"That's just very sloppy technique," Azula remarked, facepalming yet again. They then watched Ozai carefully place the ginormous sandwich onto a hot pan and add a large stick of butter to the pan. "And now we watch the sandwich burn before the cheese is even close to melting. Some of that cheese is three inches deep inside the sandwich. It's going to remain stone cold even after ten minutes of cooking, this makes absolutely no sense!"
"Perfect," Ozai gushed, staring adoringly at his terrible creation. "And now we finish this beauty by placing it in the oven for four minutes," he finally said, taking the pan off the stove and bringing it over to the nearby oven.
"Oh no… that was the plan all along… oh no…" Azula cried. "Of course, he had to know that he couldn't melt the cheese in the pan with a sandwich this thick, so the oven was always the plan. What a disastrous choice!" she exclaimed.
"It's cheating, is what it is," Katara said angrily, feeling scammed by Ozai's decision. The crowd also didn't appear impressed. One or two boos could be heard over the commotion, but Ozai paid them no heed. "A classic grilled cheese sandwich is something you make in a pan, using an oven is just cheating. Of course, the cheese will melt now, any cheese would. Even the terrible aged, dry cheeses he used in the first attempt."
"You're completely right about that," Azula sighed. "My father is so out of touch with the expectations. When he said he was doing a grilled cheese redemption, everyone expected that he would do the same as in his first video, only… you know, do it well?"
"Exactly!" Katara snapped her fingers. "But instead of making a great grilled cheese, he made a nice… I don't know, meat sandwich with cheese? You can't call this a grilled cheese, not when you cram tons and tons of random ingredients on it. It's just supposed to be bread, cheese and butter in a frying pan, right?"
"Makes sense," Azula nodded in agreement. "This is definitely not a grilled cheese sandwich, and people will laugh at my father for insisting that it is one. I would say that technically this is more of a melt than a grilled cheese?"
"That's right, it's a melt," Katara said as they watched Ozai remove the finished product from the oven. Admittedly, the sandwich looked better than Ozai's previous effort, even if Katara dreaded to think about the damage it would do to anyone's arteries if they happened to actually eat it.
"Come closer," Ozai motioned towards the filming crew, beckoning them to do a closeup of the totally not a grilled cheese sandwich. "Take a look at this beauty! Eat your heart out, haters!" he stated with pride and confidence.
"It looks better, but it's definitely not what I would call a beauty," Katara snorted. "Is your father yet again trying to gaslight the audience?"
"Probably," Azula shrugged, looking rather downcast. "It just looks so greasy and sopping wet. It probably tastes good, but… all that grease?"
"Alright, here we go, the moment of truth!" Ozai hyped the public up before cutting into his redemption sandwich. "Oh, my goodness me, just take a look at this, internet trolls," he cried, having cut the sandwich. "And here we are, an amazing, beautiful, grilled cheese with short rib!" Ozai boastfully presented his sandwich to the audience. The reaction of the spectators was rather subdued, however, with most just looking on in confusion, but there was also some muttering and quiet booing.
"Finally, my cheese has melted! Take that, haters!" Ozai announced, even if Katara and everyone in the audience could see that there was only a single, weak string of gooey cheese connecting the two sides of the sandwich. The cheese had definitely melted in the oven, but because Ozai had added so many other ingredients, it seemed as if the cheese had simply become lost in the mix, and it hadn't created that beautiful pull upon separating the two sides of the sandwich.
"Well, that was wretched," Azula said, sounding rather depressed. "I can only imagine what the comments will be like once my father posts the video. And I'm sure he'll find something to blame me for."
"That would be completely unfair," Katara repeated. "This is all on him. And even if you had tried to prevent him from making some of these mistakes, he doesn't strike me as someone who would listen to you."
"Well, sometimes he does listen… although, generally you're not wrong," Azula sighed.
"When do you think the video will be posted?" Katara asked. "Maybe he'll wait with it until after the competition," she added, sensing how stressed Azula was about this whole matter.
"Ha! I should be so lucky," Azula laughed bitterly. "My father drives the editing team very hard. The video will be up in one or two days at most, so he'll still be in Caldera as reactions start to pour in."
Katara cursed under her breath. Ozai was certainly an idiot, but he was also an efficient idiot with unlimited resources. "Maybe we can think of something to put your father in a better mood until then," she suggested. "If he was angry, I imagine that he would also react much worse to the other thing you promised to talk to him about."
"Oh, I already did that," Azula replied tonelessly.
"Let me guess," Katara sighed. "Since you didn't tell me about it, I assume that it didn't go well."
"It did not go well at all, Katara," Azula said. Katara was about to burst into an exclamation about how predictable Ozai's reaction was, when she noticed that Azula was absentmindedly touching her cheek. It immediately made Katara wonder if Ozai had actually struck Azula. The thought filled Katara with so much helpless anger that it was difficult to restrain herself from keeping quiet. Still, if this didn't convince Azula that she needed to get away from her father, Katara was at her wit's end about what would convince the other girl. It wasn't like Azula was a minor, Katara couldn't do some kind of intervention on her behalf.
"Well…" Katara managed, trying to keep the bitter disappointment and anger out of her voice. "Let's just… try to make the best out of the reminder of your father's visit, then."
"Indeed," Azula nodded, speaking in a dull voice. "Whatever making the best out of it might be."
"Ugh… what a week," Zuko grumbled to himself while undressing and getting ready for bed. Jet had already tucked himself in a while ago, busy playing Vampire Survivors on his Steam Deck. Zuko wasn't sure if Jet expected any vigorous bedroom activities tonight, but after being harangued all day by his father, Zuko simply didn't have the energy left for anything but sleeping. "I don't know what I would do if my father wasn't leaving in a couple of days," Zuko added with a sigh, collapsing into the bed.
"I get that," Jet said without putting down his handheld. "But if you win this competition, won't this just be your regular routine?"
"I hope not," Zuko shuddered. "Winning the competition should mean earning an even greater autonomy from Ozai." Zuko then thought for a while. "You know, I'm not actually sure my father is capable of entrusting me or Azula with more autonomy, but I guess time will tell. For now, it's important to focus on the real goal here and that is to crush Azula."
"Exactly," Jet nodded, continuing to play his game.
"You know… I never properly thanked you for catching that nasty surprise my father tried to spring on us," Zuko said, having watched Jet play for a bit. "I guess my head was stuck in the clouds when for once my father did something nice and I didn't realize it was all a nasty surveillance plot."
"Well, from what I know of your father, he doesn't really strike me as the type to shower you with gifts, Zuko," Jet replied, frantically mashing the buttons of his controller. "Especially tacky silver cups that say 'World's Best Son'."
"Good point," Zuko chuckled awkwardly. "Still, it takes a truly paranoid mind to check a gift for bugs and discover a hidden camera installed in the base of the cup."
"Not really paranoid if he was really going to spy on us, is it?" Jet retorted.
"True," Zuko admitted. "Anyway, thanks for catching that," he added, leaning in and giving Jet a kiss on the cheek.
"Oh great, thanks for that distraction, now you got me killed," Jet grumbled, setting his handheld device aside. "Also, you're welcome. I wish I knew what it said about me that I even thought about this possibility. Does it mean I have a mind as sick as your father?"
"Let's not think about that too much, shall we?" Zuko chuckled awkwardly. "The important thing is that we managed to avert a complete disaster." After Jet had found the hidden camera in Zuko's 'gift', Zuko had made sure to display the tacky cup in a way so that the camera faced one of the corners of the living room. Zuko didn't want Ozai to know that they had found the camera, so placing it so that it wouldn't catch any accidental gay stuff was the best solution they could think of.
"I'm still wondering just what it was that made your father suspicious about potential gay stuff going on," Jet mused.
"I have no idea," Zuko shrugged. "Maybe it's the fact that I've been living with another bloke for like a month and I haven't been looking for a rent apartment. Or maybe there's just something about you that sets off my father's gaydar."
"What? That's nonsense. I'm incredibly masculine, I do not set off anyone's gaydar." Jet protested. Zuko merely rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I have my own theory about why Ozai is poking around." Zuko gave Jet a scrutinizing stare. "I think Mai must have snitched to your father."
"Mai?" Zuko blinked. "No fucking way."
"Oh, come on, Zuko, take off those rose-tinted glasses," Jet snapped, sounding frustrated. "Mai clearly wants you back."
"No way, she doesn't," Zuko laughed uncertainly. Mai had been acting very aloof immediately after the breakup, but over the past few weeks she had been way more helpful, almost… softer in her own way. In any case, Zuko was surprised about how giddy and excited he was about the idea of Mai still wanting him.
"You're such a dumbass," Jet snorted. "Anyway, it'll be great to move to Ba Sing Se and further away from Mai and her bullshit attempts to win you back."
"Yes… I guess so," Zuko managed a reply. Leaving Mai behind was nothing new to Zuko. He'd done it several times in the past, running back to his father at the promise of being thrown some scraps. Still, for some reason, the idea of leaving Mai behind just now seemed particularly painful. Together with the excitement when thinking about how maybe Mai still wanted him, it was all throwing Zuko for a massive loop. In the end, who and what did he want himself? It was probably time to figure it out before someone truly got hurt.
"Anyway, enough about Mai," Jet said decisively. "Have you seen the reactions to the video that your father posted?"
"I've seen some of the reactions, yes," Zuko nodded. "They seem pretty mixed so far. There's quite a lot of mockery, but many people still think that it's a nice-looking sandwich, and they love the jalapeno jam. It could be a big win for Azula because it was filmed at her restaurant."
"That's what I thought, too," Jet nodded. "If we could get more and more people laughing at your father and mocking him, maybe he'd be mad at Azula, right? That's why I posted a brief clip that I had been saving just for this occasion. Here, check out how it's blowing up on TikTok," Jet said, pulling up a video on his phone. It showed his father reaching out and grabbing the handle of a frying pan before exploding in hilariously cartoonish screams as he dropped the pan and then jumped around the kitchen, crying and nursing his burnt hand.
"Where did you get that?" Zuko demanded, stunned that Jet had been sitting on something like that until now.
"It happened more than a year ago, when Ozai was doing the Kitchen Nightmares episode at The Northern Lights," Jet explained. "My old coworker Aang filmed the whole thing. Azula probably asked him to delete the video afterwards, so I made sure to unlock his phone and copy the video before he could delete it. I have a knack for spotting potential viral moments, okay? See, the view count is skyrocketing towards two hundred thousand already."
"I see…" Zuko managed. "Also, wow… that title. Ozai Nakamura Burns Himself Like an Amateur – Who's the Real Idiot Sandwich? That's going to make my father so pissed. Are you sure it won't be traced back to us?"
"Relax, I know how to create sock accounts," Jet smirked. "Ozai will think that it's Aang who posted it. Or someone from Azula's restaurant, anyway."
"I get it now," Zuko realized. "Damn, I wouldn't want to be in Azula's shoes now. I just don't see how she can get out of this one, but I also don't want to underestimate her. She's very crafty, especially when backed into a corner."
"Personally, I think she's toast," Jet shrugged. "I think I've managed to land my sucker punch and get my revenge. I hope she realizes that it was me who did it."
"Yes, how nice for you," Zuko said absentmindedly. For some reason, he found himself feeling very conflicted about this extremely underhanded way of bringing down his sister. Still, Azula had done similar or worse to him countless times over the years, so maybe turnabout was fair play. "Let's just catch some shuteye and see how the chips fall come next morning, shall we?" Zuko suggested.
"Good idea," Jet said. He was about to put the phone back on the nightstand, when it suddenly buzzed with another notification. "Heh, Jin has posted something on her socials." Jet scrolled his phone for a bit. "Hey, it's an update to her ranking of sexual partners." Jet looked a little pale as he stared at the screen. "There's… a new entry on the list, at number three, after Sokka and Ty Lee."
"Damn, so we're still the last," Zuko sighed. "Who has outdone us now?"
"You're not going to like the answer to this one, Zuko," Jet gulped. "It's… your father."
Zuko's reaction to this particular bit of news was a 'Noooooooo!' so loud and emphatic that it would have made even Darth Vader proud.