Shadow had Philophobia.

It was an irrational fear, something he couldn't get rid of no matter what he did. Shadow couldn't understand it.

He didn't understand the feeling that made his heart ache, or why he couldn't shake the feeling of dread when he was around certain people. Shadow didn't understand love or the emotions associated with it. He just felt like there was something wrong with him because he couldn't feel it.

Keeping everyone at a distance seemed to be the only cure. Rouge and Omega were an exception, but Shadow tried not to let them in. They had seen him at his lowest, and they seemed to be the only ones he could trust. He felt most comfortable when he was around them, even if he'd never admit it out loud.

Maria had been the only person he had ever truly loved. It was her that he wanted to save from that damn space only dream was to see Earth, and Shadow wanted to grant that wish no matter what. She meant everything to him, and he'd do anything for her.

That was how Shadow knew he was broken.
It had been over 50 years since Maria's death, and Shadow found himself longing for companionship. He hated the feeling. It was annoying and made his heart ache, so he tried to ignore it.

The idea of someone replacing Maria made him sick. No one could replace her, and he wouldn't allow anyone to try.

But still...he found himself wanting something more. Shadow found himself wanting a deeper relationship with Rouge or Omega, but he wouldn't dare ask. They were his friends, and he was content with that. Asking for more would only complicate things, and Shadow didn't want that. He was the dark, mysterious hedgehog who wasn't looking for love.

It was easier this way.

Shadow didn't want to deal with the heartache, the disappointment, or the pain. He'd rather keep people at a distance so they wouldn't hurt him, and he wouldn't hurt them.

And then he met the infamous Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic was annoying, cocky, and full of himself. He always had a smile on his face and was ready to save the day. Shadow hated him. He was everything Shadow wasn't.

And yet, Shadow found himself drawn to the blue blur. Sonic was always there when Shadow needed him, even if it was against his better judgement. Shadow didn't know why Sonic kept coming back, but he did. Shadow would insult him,punch him, and even try to kill him.

Sonic never gave up though. He always came back with that stupid grin on his face and offered a hand. It was infuriating.
But it also made Shadow's heart ache.

He couldn't understand this feeling, and it pissed him off. Sonic made him feel things he'd never felt before, and he didn't like it. His blue quills, emerald green eyes, and cocky attitude were just too much for Shadow to handle.

It was overwhelming, and Shadow didn't know how to deal with it.

He tried to stay away from Sonic as much as possible. It was fairly easy, since no one ever really dared to go near Shadow. He was intimidating and had quite the reputation. But Sonic was persistent and always managed to find a way to annoy the hell out of him.
Shadow tried to ignore it. He tried to ignore Sonic, but it was impossible. Sonic was everywhere, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted Sonic to leave him alone, but at the same time, he wanted to spend more time with him.

Philophobia was Shadow's worst enemy.

He couldn't have a normal relationship, and it sucked. No one would ever understand him the way Maria did. Shadow was broken and couldn't be fixed.

A fear of love. Of commitment.

Sonic's voice snapped Shadow out of his thoughts. The blue hedgehog was standing next to him, a smile on his face. "Hey, Shads! Whatcha up to?"

Shadow glared at him. "None of your business, faker."

Sonic rolled his eyes, but his smile didn't fade. "You're always so grumpy. You should really learn to relax."

"Worry about yourself, hedgehog." Shadow growled, turning away from him.

Sonic let out a small laugh. "You're such a downer, Shads. Come on, lighten up a little!"

"I don't want to 'lighten up.' Leave me alone." Shadow spat.

Sonic grinned. "Oh, woe is me, Shadow the Hedgehog doesn't want to spend time with me. I'm so heartbroken."

Shadow rolled his eyes. "You're insufferable."

"Aw, come on! Don't be like that. You know you love me!" Sonic teased.

Shadow froze at the words. He could feel his heart beating faster as the blue hedgehog laughed.

Sonic was wrong. Shadow didn't love him...right?

No, that was ridiculous. Shadow didn't love anyone, not even himself. He was broken.

Sonic's voice brought him back to reality. "Hey, are you okay? You seem kinda out of it."

Shadow shook his head. "I'm fine. Just...leave me alone."

Shadow teleported away before Sonic could respond, leaving him standing alone in the street.

He needed to get away from Sonic. He couldn't deal with these emotions, and he didn't know what to do about them.

Philophobia was going to be the death of him.
Shadow sighed, closing his eyes as he tried to calm his racing heart.

He had a long way to go before he could confront his feelings for Sonic. He wasn't even sure what his feelings were. A foreign feeling blooming in his chest.

His heart felt like it was being squeezed, and he couldn't breathe. It was like something was suffocating him. He needed to get away from this place.

He needed time to think.

A few nights later, Rouge was up late in their shared living room, watching some romantic comedy movie that Shadow couldn't care less about. He sat on the other end of the couch, mindlessly scrolling through social media.
Rouge was quiet for most of the movie, only occasionally commenting on something she thought was funny. Shadow didn't pay much attention to her. He was too lost in his thoughts.

The main characters of the film stood in the rain, confessing their love for each other. It was cheesy and overly dramatic, but Rouge seemed to enjoy it. She was always a sucker for sappy romance movies.

Shadow watched the scene intently. The two characters held each other, kissing in the pouring rain. It was nauseatingly romantic, and Shadow found himself getting irritated by it.

"They're so happy together..." Rouge sighed, a small smile on her face.

"It's stupid," Shadow scoffed, turning away from the television.

Rouge rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous because you've never been in love."

Shadow didn't respond and simply went to his room.

Was that the secret? Standing in the rain and professing your undying love to someone? It sounded like something out of a fairytale.

Shadow was a realist. He knew that things like love didn't exist. It was all made up for Hollywood to make more money. People were too selfish to actually love each other. They always wanted something in return.

Shadow knew that firsthand.

Maria had loved him unconditionally, and he had loved her back. She didn't see a monster when she looked at him; she saw a person. But Maria was gone now, and Shadow was alone.
The idea of loving someone again scared him. It made him feel vulnerable and weak. He couldn't handle the heartache that came with love.

He wouldn't let anyone break him like that again.

Shadow laid in bed, trying to block out the sound of the movie. It was getting late, and he needed to sleep.

As if on cue, it was raining the next morning. Shadow could hear the raindrops hitting the roof and window. It was soothing, and he found himself relaxing a bit.

Shadow took a deep breath. The air was heavy with the scent of rain. It was refreshing, and Shadow closed his eyes as he listened to the steady sound of raindrops hitting the ground outside.

The rain was calming him down, and his heartbeat began to slow. Shadow took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he tried to relax.

Shadow didn't know why he suddenly felt the urge to go out in the rain. He didn't care about being wet or cold. It was just a silly impulse that he couldn't ignore.

He opened his eyes and looked out the window, watching the rain fall. The streets were empty, and everything was he went outside and just...stood there.

The rain was cold and refreshing against his quills. It washed away all the thoughts and worries that had been plaguing him. He closed his eyes, letting the rain soak through his fur.

Shadow stood in the rain for what felt like an eternity, just enjoying the moment. He felt at peace for the first time in a long while.

But then, something hit him.

It was a small pebble, but it made him open his eyes. He looked around, trying to find the source of the projectile, when he heard laughter coming from behind him.

Sonic was standing in the street, another pebble in his hand. Shadow glared at him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sonic laughed. "Good morning to you too."

"Don't throw pebbles at me."

"Then don't stand in the middle of the street looking like a wet dog," Sonic retorted.

Shadow growled. "I'll stand wherever I want."

Sonic smiled that same cocky grin, and Shadow felt his heart skip a beat. Damn it. He hated that smile.

"Why are you out here?" Shadow asked, trying to distract himself from the fluttery feeling in his chest.

Sonic shrugged. "I was bored. You're the one standing in the middle of the street in the rain."

"Shut up," Shadow snapped.

He recalled the movie Rouge watched the night before, and an idea popped into his head. He wanted to test it. It was stupid, but he had to know.

"Come here," Shadow said, holding out his hand.

Sonic looked confused, but he took a step forward. "What are you doing?"

Shadow didn't answer. He took Sonic's hand in his own and pulled him close. He was now face to face with the blue hedgehog, their bodies only inches apart.

Sonic's cheeks turned red, and he averted his gaze. "What are you—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Shadow leaned in and kissed him.

It was quick, barely more than a peck on the lips. But it was enough for Shadow to know that he wanted more. Sonic went stiff, the tips of his ears turning red.

"You're so annoying," Shadow growled, his grip tightening around Sonic's hand.

Sonic swallowed nervously. "Um...is that a compliment?"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Just...don't move."

Sonic nodded, his expression serious. "Okay."

Shadow's eyes locked with Sonic's. His heartbeat quickened, and he could feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He saw himself in Sonic's big green eyes.

His lips trembled as he brought them close to Sonic's once more, kissing him. Shadow closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Sonic's soft lips against his own. It was exhilarating. Sonic didn't try to pull away or resist; he just kissed back, closing his eyes as well.

The two hedgehogs stood there for what seemed like an eternity, the rain gliding off their quills. Shadow kept thinking that he was dreaming, that this wasn't real. But the feeling of Sonic's body against his own told him otherwise.

When they finally broke apart, they stared at each other with wide eyes. Shadow's heart was beating wildly in his chest, and he could see that Sonic's was doing the same.

Shadow didn't realize his tail was wagging, nor did he hear himself purring softly.

Sonic cleared his throat, his cheeks still flushed. "I knew it."

"You knew nothing," Shadow said, his tone flat.
Sonic laughed. "You're in love with me. I knew it!"

Shadow's ears pinned back, and he glared at Sonic. "Shut up."

Sonic's smile didn't fade. "Imma call you my boyfriend now. Or my lover."

"I will kill you," Shadow warned.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that all the time. It doesn't scare me anymore." Sonic grinned, his tail wagging.

Shadow sighed, defeated. "Why do you always have to ruin the moment?"

"I don't know. Because you're so easy to tease?" Sonic chuckled.

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Sonic smiled, pulling him into another kiss. Shadow couldn't help but melt into the embrace, kissing him back.

This was real. He loved Sonic...he didn't feel as afraid anymore.

Shadow pulled away slightly, resting his head against Sonic's. "I like you."

Sonic smiled. "I like you too, Shadow."

They stayed there for a moment longer, letting the rain wash over their bodies.

Maybe love wasn't so scary after all.

As long as he had Sonic by his side, Shadow thought he might be able to get through this.

Maybe.

It took Shadow 50 years to figure out that he had Philophobia. And it took another few years to realize that he was in love with the most obnoxious, cocky, and annoying hedgehog on the planet.

Sonic made Shadow feel things that no one else could. He made his heart race and his cheeks flush. He was beautiful, inside and out.

And Shadow wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with him.

It sounded corny in his head, but Shadow didn't care. He was happy, and he had found someone who loved him unconditionally.

Shadow's fear of love was gone. He was no longer afraid to give his heart to someone.

Because he knew that Sonic would never break it.