Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last set of diary entries. All of you are great.

We are spending more time with Jim and Spock. Jim and Spock are just the cutest. They're also in transit to a star mapping assignment so more diary time.

Day 35: You should probably proofread this

Hey, my Sunshine Vulcan:

Please check out my first draft. I did it in hard copy because well, I'm paranoid and thanks to something Pike said, I know that Admiral Chen is reading some of our private correspondence. It could just be the emails of the guy who got her daughter pregnant, but again I'm paranoid. Read below and tell me what you think.

Dear teenagers of Enterprise:

It's time for us to have a conversation about your behavior on board this vessel. Really? Stealing liquor from engineering again? That's so cliché, especially because you keep getting caught. More importantly, it's time for us to talk about why you're behaving this way. I don't think it's because you're all spoiled brats. And let me tell you kiddies, alcohol doesn't dull the pain that much. It's a temporary Band-Aid at best.

I'm not writing you as your ship's first officer, the guy who will have to sign off on the performance review of many of your parents, or even the guy married to your parents' big boss. I am writing to you as a survivor of the Starfleet orphans club. I know at least four of you are members of that club with me. I would get us T-shirts, but that don't really help.

I'm sure you're all aware that my dad died about three minutes after I was born. What you're not aware of is that my Starfleet mom went right back in the space and I got left behind with the evil step dad. If you want to know how evil, search "child molester found hanging in his prison cell with his genitals cut off in Iowa". So don't assume I'm just another adult that doesn't know what you're going through because I went through a lot and here I am on the other side as your co-captain.

This also means that I understand why a lot of you are being brats right now. You don't want to be here. You're angry that life is the way it is and maybe you're upset that your mom or dad chose Starfleet over a normal life and dragged you here. Maybe you blame the fleet for some of the bad things that have happened in your life. I know that growing up I did and somehow, I still managed to find my way to the command gold. Despite that, or maybe because of it.

So, if you think that being a brat will get you back to your planet of origin with the perfect family life that you used to have, let me tell you from experience that that's not going to happen. The life that you had before, you're never going to have that back because it doesn't exist anymore. There's no going back after what you've been through. There's an Earth saying, "you can't stop the wave, but you can learn to surf." Kids, it's time to get out your paddle boards.

Throwing a tantrum isn't going to bring your old life back. I should know, I drove my father's vintage convertible into a ravine. Lots of bad life choices made all around on that one. I got smart kid boarding school. My other friend got regular boarding school and our parents went right back into the sky without us.

So sorry, the fleet is trying this new thing where teenagers like yourself get to go with their parents into space. If things go well, this might become a normal thing. Things right now are not exactly going well. Again, I know what's going on. Why do you think you're spending so much quality time scrubbing the decks with toothbrushes? I'm not an idiot. Contrary to what you've heard, I didn't get through the Academy in three years on my back, unless you count all those times I got knocked back onto it during combat training.

So this is the deal, you guys will try to act like semi behaved young adults and I will treat you that way. Otherwise you're going to be scrubbing the decks with toothbrushes for at least the next year, along with whatever crazy punishment I can come up with. At the same time my door is open to all of you. I'm not a parent or our ship counselor, Margarita, but I am someone who understands a lot more of what you're going through then many others on the ship. It probably helps that I still remember my teenage years and again a lot of bad decisions made all around. Just don't think that no one cares about you because that's a lie. It might not seem that way at first, but we're here for all of you. You just need to reach out.

PS: Seriously, stop raiding the liquor in engineering. If you're going to indulge in underage drinking, please avoid liquor that may cause blindness or kill you due to the potency.

Xxxxx

Dear James:

I am uncertain if you should encourage the teenagers to research any parts of your history, especially one that you're just starting to come to terms with and willing to discuss publicly. But overall, I find your letter acceptable. I have attempted to draft an email to Josephine and yet, have been unsuccessful. I would like your guidance on the matter.

xxxxx

Dear Cuddle Vulcan:

I know. I saw the pile of rejects in the recycling bin. It's understandable you're having trouble. How do you really start that conversation? The other kids don't know me so I could be my normal abrasive self. For you, it's different with her. You're her other mom's best friend and you did tutor her in Vulcan for most of our Earth time.

Hey, I just had a brilliant idea, why don't you offer to take back over the Vulcan lessons. She'll like that and hey it would at least keep her under adult supervision another hour a week. I mean you don't have to do it all the time, but I could totally sacrifice some of my sexy husband make out time if it cuts down on my dealing with teenagers that I want to strangle time. I mean, the more they behave, the less likely we'll be called out during the night for things like sneaking into engineering to get booze. The last time that happened, my pants were unzipped and the lube was already out.

Xxxx

Dear James:

That incident was just last night. I agree your suggestion has merit. I do have time in my schedule for at least an hour of lessons, especially if it would create less work for you in other areas. However, may I suggest that you offer some other activities to keep the other four teenagers from engaging and distractive behavior. I could consider it part of your duty hours.

Xxxxx

Dear Spock Muffin:

OK, good idea. Great idea, because eventually we're going to run out of decks for them to scrub with toothbrushes and I'm still mad that they cut into our sex time. I've had such a tough time convincing you that the soundproofing is completely functional, and our next-door neighbor can no longer hear me blowing your brains out.

I assume that it's a hard no on teaching them computer programming? What about combat? I feel like instances of bratty behavior would go down if they actually got to hit something. Maybe if they could get their anger out physically, they will stop focusing it on Jo Jo and trying to get a hold of the Everclear that they're trying to brew in engineering.

I'm this close to letting botany grow pot. Besides, I'm sure you could use fresh headache medication if they keep up this stupidity. You can't do brownies, but maybe cheese crackers or cannabis tea. I'll download a copy of the cannabis cookbook.

Xxxx

Dear James:

I was thinking 21st century movie night or maybe a chess club. I would prefer that you not pass on any skill that may be considered a felony or that can be used to commit a felony.

You are correct. I could benefit from a fresh supply of headache medication. Therefore, I will authorize the cultivation of several strands of cannabis that are traditionally used in Vulcan medicine and meditation teas.

Xxx

Dear Sugar Vulcan:

There's so many skills I possess that could be utilized in the commission of a felony, such as horticulture apparently. But no Enterprise Junior hackers club or gardening club for that matter. Earth movie night it is because I'm still not quite a chess expert and I could never get away with doing a checkers club. They would find that so lame. Also we want to offer something that they might actually do as opposed to being juvenile delinquents

We can probably go through the whole MCU series. The first run. Just the movies, not the TV shows. Otherwise we'll be busy for all five years. Actually that may be a good idea. You're so right, under-stimulated smart kids are dangerous. I should've remembered that from my boarding school days. I think I told you about the time the elevator ended up filled with glass. I'll send the email out soon.
XXXXX

From: SpockX-Kirk

To: kitten_loverJJMU

BCC: Spock's_cuddlebunny

Time sent: 3/25/2260 17:53:11

Subject: Would you like to continue your Vulcan lessons?

Because James is planning to start a new movie club to increase crew morale, I have additional time in my schedule. Would you be interested in me continuing your Vulcan lessons? I am well aware that your mother is quite skilled in the language, but there are certain nuances that you can only pick up from a native speaker.

I also found our time together last fall simulating and wish to continue.

Xxx

From: kitten_loverJJMU

To: SpockX-Kirk

Time sent: 3/25/2260 18:33:11

Subject: Re: Would you like to continue your Vulcan lessons?

I saw that Uncle Jim is starting a movie club as a reward for the other teenagers not acting awful.

I really would like to start the Vulcan lessons again but we're going to have to schedule around my fencing lessons. I am really liking those. I think I may be able to outrun Jeremy by May.

To be continued