Thank you to everybody who read or review the last conversation. You are all lovely.
Day 62: Learning How to Mourn
From: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez
To: Spock's_cuddlebunny
Subject: It is taking like a week for me to get these letters
Time arrived: 4/23/2260 00:00:01
April Fools' Day just happened right before you wrote so it is taking at least a week for this to get to me. Considering how long it would sometimes take my wife to get messages from me, I am not surprised. The joys of long distance relationships in Starfleet. Thankfully, you came up with a creative solution to the two bodies problem.
Progress can be slow. You may not even notice it at first, but as time goes on, you'll realize that you have made a difference in the lives of the children that you're working with. Even if you don't notice progress, you must keep trying. You were a very prickly child for years, but Alayna kept trying and now you're a well-adjusted and productive member of society. I think she would be proud of who you've become. Just keep trying. You may not get to where you think you will, but you will get somewhere great.
Regarding the anniversaries, try not to focus on what you lost, but try to remember the person that you love. Focus on who they were and how they made your life better. Don't focus on the loss. Remember the good days, not just the bad ones.
And trust me, I've realized that's hard to do. I've been a widow for several years now and I will tell you that anniversaries are hard. It's been years for me and yet the day that she died is usually the worst day of the year for me. It's a sharp pain to the heart. It's a piece of me that is missing. But each year, the pain gets a little less sharp.
Remembering the silly things about her, like the board games that she loved to play with the kids or the paintings on the wall, puts a smile on my face. Do you remember all the crazy band posters she used to have? Those things were everywhere. Also, remember her obsession with post-its? Our refrigerator was covered in them. I don't even know how she managed to keep finding paper post-it's, but she used to put them all over the house. I still have her sweater. I take it with me everywhere. It's in my office, even though I am now working in a place where the low temperature is 30° Celsius on a cool day. My tan is awesome right now by the way.
My suggestions for the anniversary of Amanda's death is to do something good for Spock that reminds him of his mom. A happy memory not a sad one. Maybe make a favorite recipe of hers that he absolutely adores. Do something nice. Make sure he has a good day.
I would also almost suggest sending a cookie bouquet to your father-in-law, but I'm not sure that you can get anything with chocolate delivered here. I've been trying to get truffles for months and it's not happening. I seriously need some chocolate.
For the anniversary of Chris's death in June, well, that one's a little easier. Little Miss Sulu happens to have that day as her birthday, I think. You remember how much it sucked having your birthday coincide with a major event in Federation history. So, make sure she has better. The best thing to do is make sure the generation that comes after us has better than what we had. That's the best you can do.
So, have you found a new instructor yet for the kids? Also, if hair dye and missing eyebrows are the worst they did, then I wouldn't worry too much. Okay, I think I would get them chocolate because they deserve chocolate for that.
I would worry about the crew member who tried to kill his ex girlfriend. Domestic violence is something that our society has yet to deal with, despite all our other advancements. But we keep trying. I guess it's part of our desire to try to make the next generation better than ours. Anyway, let me know how the anniversary goes.
I wish you peace and hope.
PS: I know you know that Father's Day is an emotional landmine for you, but Mother's Day is too for some. Since Vulcans don't celebrate Mother's Day, I'm sure you didn't think about it, with Spock last year. But with JoJo, it might be a lot more complicated. Keep that in mind.
From: Spock's_cuddlebunny
To: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez
Subject: Re: It is taking like a week for me to get these letters
Time sent: 4/23/2260 22:04:01
This letter showed up on April 23, so more than a week. Baby Sulu somehow lucked out and Sue didn't technically deliver until the day after Chris died. So, yay for that. But even then, I would make sure she has a good day and doesn't have to associate with the fact that if she didn't come early, her grandmother probably would've been killed in the attack too.
Things with the teenagers have been getting better, mostly. They're being less bratty after the April Fools' Day punishments except for Jeremy because he's Jeremy and that situation feels hopeless. I don't know how to help somebody that doesn't want to help themselves. All the other kids are self-aware. Jeremy is just angry and wants to blame everyone else.
Pike- Nhi is working on the teacher thing. I haven't heard from her for a while, so fingers crossed that she found somebody competent. We lose our current instructor in June when we have our shore leave at the brand-new Yorktown facility. It's so new that we're bringing supplies.
I decided that the hubby and the Ashleys are going to have a cooking day. Or at least that's the plan. Although, we'll be surveying a planet at the time so we shall see. Anyway, I received a bunch of Amanda's recipes from my father-in-law, so we're going to work on that. So, diplomats can get stuff here faster than you can. Who knew? Also, Amanda's blondies were fabulous when she didn't get distracted and burn them. Apparently, her cooking skills were mixed.
Sam's anniversary is today, so kudos on your email arriving at just the right day. I am OK. I got a lot of cuddles and other more adult things from my husband, so it helped take the edge of. I miss my brother. It feels even worse knowing that in the other timeline, he got married and had children. Don't get other Spock drunk on chocolate. He talks too much.
At the same time, if things were the same as in the other timeline, I wouldn't have Kevin and I love my baby brother to pieces. He is being invaluable with dealing with the teenagers and with Jojo. Apparently, even Bones's former sister-in-law respects him. She's a little afraid of him, but she respects him.
I don't think I want to experience a reality where Kevin is just another crew member. Maybe the universe really does bring balance to itself. I shouldn't focus on what's lost, but on what's gained. I'm going to try anyway. I will let you know how things go.
PS: I think JoJo is going to try to focus on making Mother's Day good for Nyota. Apparently, I've been enlisted to get a gift for her. That should be fun.
To be continued