Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all absolutely fabulous.

The first entry on this day is a handwritten note that Sulu puts in his boyfriend's luggage. Margarita may or may not have tossed a therapy journal at him at some point.

The second entry is a letter to Baby Sulu, also handwritten. This one may have been attached to her new Teddy bear. That kid went back to San Francisco with a suitcase full of new toys. Even Baby K went back with a few things.

The final entry is another handwritten letter from Josephine to her aunt.

Day 110: Goodbye is only temporary

So, if my plan works, you will find this letter when hopefully you start packing for the trip back tonight. It's taped right inside your suitcase. If that doesn't work then you'll find the things when you unpack and are back on Earth. I hope it's the former, and not the latter.

It has been wonderful spending this week with you and the kids. And not just because of the vast amounts of sex once we got the kids down for the night, although it was quite enjoyable. I like being with you and being able to talk to you every night. The letters have been great. Sometimes they are the only thing that got me through some days.

But space is lonely and sometimes you just want to talk to an actual person at the end of the day. Yes, I have friends, some of which are more mature than others, but it's not the same as you. You get me in a way a lot of other people don't. Watching Jim and Spock is stressful especially because they can plan things out in their heads without talking and sometimes, I want to throttle them both. But at the same time you get what I'm thinking without saying a word as well. So maybe I shouldn't be that upset about it.

Waking up to your smile has been wonderful as well as waking up to other things. Definitely my favorite type of good morning. I don't think we did this as much as when we were living on the same planet. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder or maybe we are trying to make up for being away from each other for 3 ½ months.

At the next meet up, we will probably be worse. I have no idea when that will be. But hey, my daughter's grandma oversees Starfleet so she's probably going to plan for her to see her parents occasionally. Don't tell anybody, but Admiral Chan is a softy. She's like a totally different person with Desi.

Great, I'm not even quite back on ship yet and I'm already thinking about next time. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love what we're trying to accomplish. I love the fact that we keep the universe safe and have done that literally a few times. At the same time, I feel like I'm missing so much. I show up here and Desi is walking and talking. Granted it's just a few words, but more than when I left. By the time I see her again she probably will be talking in sentences and universe willing, be potty trained.

Yes I love all the pictures video files that you guys sent me. There may be a picture of Desi taped to my console. Also, I've been known to show off pictures during most lunch breaks. They help me get through days when Jim and Spock are being morons. But it's just not quite the same as actually being there every day. I know I'm missing all the trivial things. I have 4 ½ years to go. Note to self, never take a five-year mission again, but we're going to get through it through letters and videos and everything else.

I do love you. I love every moment we have together. I love just talking to you and being able to see your smile and your happiness. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I hope things get better with your husband's parents. That's how I'm going to refer to them. Just because Zack is gone doesn't mean that he's not your husband. He's always going to be there and I'm OK with that. I had an interesting conversation with Jim's mom about how you don't stop loving that person, your heart just gets bigger. Although she did say I am 1000 times better than her ex-husband. Considering they don't even say his name and from what Ashley 2 told me about her Google searches, I'm going to say that's not hard. I aim to be 1 million times better.

Anyway, this is becoming very rambling and I am starting to get writer's cramp. This is like the most writing I've done since first grade writing class. I really hate saying goodbye to you and the kids, but it's not goodbye just goodbye for now.

So, to close this rambling thing I'll just say things will get better regarding the custody situation. However even if they don't, I will always be there for you even if I am light-years away. Love you and give all the kids a kiss good night for me. I'll see you again soon.

Hi baby:

It has been absolutely wonderful getting to spend your first birthday with you. I'm still sad that I wasn't there for when you were born, but I understand that your mom was scared because the person who almost could've been your daddy was not a very good person. Everybody says that you won in the daddy lottery and I am inclined to agree with them even though I wish I could be home with you more. Daddy is never doing a five-year mission again. Grandma can find somebody else to keep Jim and Spock from doing dumb stuff.

At least not if you can't come with me. That unfortunately is dependent on the Ashleys keeping up their personal growth and somebody figuring out how to get Jeremy out of the program. Never be a Jeremy. Jeremy is a bad person that doesn't know how to deal with his own pain and anger. He keeps skipping his sessions with Dr. Margarita. That woman has the patience of a saint.

So it was great getting to spend time with you and baby K. I think we all agree that baby K is your big sister. It may be a little early to ask that, but are you ok with that maybe being permanent. We are considering it, but you and K are important in making that type of decision. Plus, I've only been dating Ben for a little more than 10 months and 3 ½ of those have involved dating by correspondence. Although some of the older ones on ship have told me that's when they really fell in love with their spouse.

So my parting words of wisdom are be good for your aunt and uncle. I think nana Winona would be really upset if you totally turned them off of kids. She really wants grandbabies in 5 to 10 years and Uncle Jim and Uncle Spock are probably going to procrastinate. Send me lots of videos of you being cute. Also remember that even though mommy and daddy are really far away we love you to pieces. There is not a moment in the day where we don't think about you. Love you baby and I can't wait until I get to see you again.

Dear Auntie:

Thank you for the art supplies and all of the snacks. The chocolate covered Oreos are my favorite. It has made me somewhat popular with the Ashleys. Although I think it might be because Ashley 3 really needed a good chocolate covered Oreo. Her aunt/guardian is dating somebody who is just four years older than her and well, none of us are taking it well. I give it a week because Ashley is actively trying to break it up and I support her. Pavel is closer to us in age.

I know grandpa does it all the time, but it's a little creepy how big the age gap is now. So how close in age is the new step grandma to me? How many years do you think it will be before she's younger than me? I'm sure it will happen eventually, if he lives that long.

I asked Liz and Kevin to send you this package filled with a few paintings and other artwork that I've done. I thought you would like some of the family. I also did a couple drawings of Yorktown. It's really pretty even if Dad refers to it as a snow globe stuck in space. Predictably, he hates it here. I like it even though the place is still half under construction.

I'm trying not to be angry at you. Margarita says it's a work in progress. I'm still upset, but I have been talking to Uncle Jim a lot about how he eventually forgave his mom for missing the signs with his stepdad. He was also an abusive alcoholic, but worse. Like killed in prison because even prisoners hate pedophiles worse. Uncle Jim didn't tell me that part, but Ashley 2 found out while doing a net search and told me. She says it's one of the reasons why she trusts uncle Jim after what happened with her mom's boyfriend. So I am well aware that it could've been a lot worse with mom. At least no one she dated did anything bad to me.

Jim said that sometimes the signs we think are obvious are not to those on the outside. It's not that they weren't looking, but they're only obvious to them in hindsight. Sometimes, even if they do see the truth, adults can't fix everything even if they want to. Margarita says wanting to is half the battle. So I'm trying to keep that in mind.

I also heard that you have a new doctor that you're working with. I think that's good. Working with Margarita has really helped. I'm still sad about what happened, but I'm working through it. It's going to be one year next month.

Also I think it helps that I am not in Georgia any more. I really like it here. I thought I would miss my friends in Georgia, but the fact that none of them have written to me makes me not miss them that much. I have new friends, so it's starting to get better. I'll try to write again when I have a chance.

PS: Definitely leave Atlanta.

To be continued