Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all absolutely fabulous.

So today is Jim and Spock's first wedding anniversary. Yay they survived one year of marriage without catastrophe. Let's raise our metaphorical glasses to the happy couple.

The title for this chapter comes from the Mike Shinoda song World's on Fire. If this song existed when I was writing Jim and Spock's wedding chapter years ago, this would have been their wedding song.

Day 129: When the World's on Fire, All I Need Is You

Dear Spock:

Happy anniversary, my Spock bear. We are going with the human day because I was totally aware that I was pledging myself to spend the rest of my life with you. Also, our bonding anniversary happens to coincide with you kind of sort of trying to kill me, so definitely not going with that day. We should celebrate happy days. Although, I totally forgive you because you know my stance on erotic asphyxiation. Although, that's a vacation activity because Nyota would punch first and ask questions later, if I showed up with bruises around my neck.

Contrary to what most of the engineering betting pool believed, we have survived an entire year of marriage without once thinking of contacting a divorce attorney. So it's time to celebrate, probably when you wake up in the morning.

Okay, it's just one minute after midnight, but technically our anniversary and I'm too hyper to sleep. Which is totally unfair because you need so much less sleep than me and yet you're out like a light. We could totally be having anniversary sex right now which would put me out. You know orgasms make me sleepy.

Sometimes I'm surprised we survived this year with nothing really bad happening to us other than me getting stranded on another planet for a few days. Sulu told me you are an absolute wreck when I was gone, which makes total sense.

Okay, something bad did happen, but not to us. Mom is sober and trying to figure out where she's going next. Kevin and Liz are still together and raising baby Desi together. Also, the condom didn't break. Thank the universe because I want nieces and nephews to play with, but not for at least five more years. You and I have successfully adjusted to our new work roles.

I don't think I realized how stressed out I was being the youngest Captain in Starfleet until we switched. I think it does work better with you in charge. I mean, I only survived the first year because of your help, due to the fact there was so much stuff I didn't know. You can get straight A's in all your command track classes, but still not be prepared for the real-life situations that come with command. At least you logged several years of first officer time before jumping into the seat. Now that I'm first officer, I'm learning a lot of things about how the ship works and how to keep the cruise sane and happy that I didn't see before. I think that's going to make me better next time around.

Although I've miss your very detail oriented briefing papers and I'm never going to be able to write one as good as you. Although you survived our most recent first contact with nothing bad happening, so I must be doing something right.

I also make great arm candy. My ass pops in the dress uniform. I definitely make a great captain's spouse. I am witty and beautiful and excellent in hand-to-hand combat, if it comes to that. I'm still surprised that the last mission went so well.

I am going to enjoy most of the ship being pissed because they lost a lot of credits to the bridge crew. Never bet against Jim Kirk because you will lose. I've never done what anybody has expected of me a day in my life and I am definitely not starting now.

Nobody expected us to survive because of my shady reputation, but we are and I'm happy. I'm happy to share my life with you. I'm happy to work with you. I'm happy for you to be my partner and my best friend. You understand me on a level that not many other people do and that's not just because we can talk in our head sometimes.

You know I have a long list of issues from the daddy who died minutes after I was born to the alcoholic mom to the dead brother and finally getting raped by my step dad. And that's all the stuff that happened before I hit adulthood, not even counting my therapist dying in a drunk driving accident and me dying. Yet despite all those issues and the fact that I am a completely broken person, you love me. You don't want to fix me, you just want to be with me and hold my hand as we navigate our way through all of our issues.

I know that you care about me not just because I can feel your emotions or even because we still exchange these little notes, but in a free little thing that you do. I can see it in the way you smile just for me. I feel it in the discrete Vulcan kisses that you always initiate when we're on the bridge together. I feel it in the way that you look at me when you don't think I see.

You were totally checking my ass out on the bridge yesterday which is okay because I did that a lot when I was in the chair. Can I tell you that's like the one thing I really miss? It's just not quite the same doing that from the bed. Although you're usually naked so bonus points for that.

I know you care because no matter how bad things are. I know you're by my side. And because you're by my side, I know I can survive anything.

Sometimes at night I wonder about what my life would be like without you. Or rather, at least what my life would be like if we didn't figure out that we were hopelessly in love with each other. I dream about it sometimes, at least I think it's just a dream. Maybe they are visions of the other life especially because I see everything from a Spock perspective. I guess I'm experiencing the memories of the other you. That Spock is sad, especially any time I or rather other me made out with someone else and really pissed. I feel like I need to apologize for my other self being an idiot the next time we see your counterpart. Whoever says Vulcans can't feel is full of shit.

So I'm happy that things are the way that they are. I love you as my husband. I love Kevin as my baby brother. I'm happy with you as my partner. When the galaxy is on fire possibly literally, I know I have you and that makes it possible to get through the bad days.

So this was supposed to be my card for your anniversary present which is a shiny bracelet and a red light district chocolate love pack. But well, I started rambling because you make me ramble. I really have a lot of trouble articulating how I feel about you.

I really want to use that chocolate body paint from the kit on you tonight, but apparently there is supposed to be a surprise anniversary party instead after shift. Nyota forgot to tell Jo Jo that it was a surprise party and she told me. So please act totally surprised when we get dragged away for an emergency in rec room six. I think Jeremy is supposed to be doing something evil which would be totally believable.

Sulu told me that he tried to get a hold of some of your "Vulcan headache medication" even though it's not time for harvest yet. I can't wait until we can make municipal Vulcan headache Blondies. Have I said how happy I am that cannabis is Vulcan headache medication?

So tonight, you and I are going to discretely make out in front of half the crew and dance a lot. I'm also okay if you get chocolate tipsy. Fingers crossed we don't get attacked tonight, although I am totally worried about that because the first contact went a little too well.

I love you always and let us hope that the next 70 years run just as smoothly.

Dear James:

I cherish you deeply. I do not want to think of a reality where you and I took decades to acknowledge our true feelings regarding one another. I am grateful that we are together and you are my best friend as well as husband. I am also satisfied that we have been able to spend the year together in relative peace.

I do not know why Nyota assumed she could surprise us with a party, but I will try to act surprised. Although, I am sad that we will be unable to make adequate use of the chocolate body paint tonight due to our social engagement. However, I believe we will have time to engage in that in three days' time when Mr. Sulu will be out late teaching his fencing class unless we are at high alert, at that time.

Thank you for the bracelet. I find it aesthetically pleasing You have admirable taste in jewelry. It is also within Starfleet regulations. Therefore, I will wear it on duty this morning. Also, the inscription was very touching. You will always be my heart as well. I appreciate that you chose to have it inscribed in Vulcan instead of Standard.

I also had your present shipped to us while we were at Yorktown. I hope you enjoyed the hardcopy anthology of Terran love poetry I found for you. I've been told that the first anniversary present should be paper, according to human custom. Although, I did order a happy anniversary kit from the red-light district. Of course, that was before I knew they were selling sex aids using our name. I would not have patronized the establishment, if I had known about their gross violation of our personhood.

In addition, in the closet are the wedding presents from your brother and future sister-in-law. I have not opened them yet because I am worried your brother may have purchased their present from the red-light district as well for the sole purpose of embarrassment. Also, I felt it is appropriate for us to open them together.

I love you my T'hy'la

Dear Spock Bear:

Okay, that's definitely sounds like something my brother would do, especially if he could get a copy of the surveillance file of us opening the gift. Liz would have stopped him, and I think she did, since I received a very ultra-hard to find vinyl copy of Post Traumatic. We dance to one of the songs on the album at the party. I really do love everything Linkin Park and Mike Shinoda. That may have followed my Beastie Boys phase. Keep that in mind for next year's present. I have no idea what you're supposed to get for year two. Actually, I didn't even know about year one. Otherwise, I probably would've looked for a volume of Vulcan poetry. Although, that stuff is now really expensive for reasons we won't discuss. I'm completely expecting you to read various selections from your present to me. I love your voice. You're so sexy when you read out loud.

Okay, it is totally a date in three days. Besides, we can't do fun, sexy times tonight because I'm pretty sure Chekov is crying in our bathroom because his ex-girlfriend was dancing with someone else at our anniversary party. Kudos for him being with someone more age-appropriate, but I think he really liked her. See this is why I'm so happy that you and I are married. No more me crying in the bathroom.

Even though you and I both know our super spectacular anniversary party happened because Nyota wanted to be distracted from thinking about the miscarriage, it was good party other than the crying navigator in our bathroom. The cookies were delicious. The only bad part was Jeremy trying to procure some alcohol. Seriously, why was the kid even there? Can I promote his mom just to get him off the ship? I'm totally willing to kick her upstairs just to get away from him.

Dear James:

No, you cannot. And obviously our navigator has vacated the bathroom since you are now showering. However, since it is close to midnight, it is better that we sleep. However, to aid you in a restful sleep, I will read you various selections from your anniversary present.

To be continued.