Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all fabulous.

Sorry it's been a little while. I had to deal with some family issues. Things are stable at the moment, so hopefully regular weekly updates will begin again.

Day 141: New Vulcan Starbucks

From: Mommy_Susan

To: SuluHG2260

Time arrived: 7/12/2260 00:00:01

Subject: Still not getting better.

So, you were wrong, and the Hamilton is not getting any more tolerable. It's like all the people on ship that I liked or at least respected left while I was on maternity leave. I think they're on Enterprise now, the competent people anyway.

Yesterday, I had to fill out sexual harassment paperwork regarding my maternity leave replacement on behalf of someone else. I am trying to decide if that's better or worse. It really wasn't fun, regardless. Thankfully, there were video files. It is always easier when there's video evidence. I'm half tempted to send most of them to mom directly, but that would be unprofessional. So, Starfleet office of civil rights it is.

The mission went badly. Like I had to type up letters to the family of two members of the security staff regarding the sacrifice made by their loved one for the good of the Federation badly. I hate those letters. Nothing I write can make things better. I remember mom getting her letter about dad. I think she burned it. She was pissed. I'm hoping the next mission will be better, but it's more treaty negotiation.

Despite how bleak I feel my current situation is, I'm still not going to ask mom for a new assignment. I can get through this. Also, I'm dealing with enough talk about nepotism that I don't want to pour gasoline on the fire. It's big enough to consume a ship already.

Most of the best Enterprise gossip has already made it here, including the fact your teenage friend is dating a doctor on ship. Probably because the best from the Hamilton are now on your ship, the traitors. Although it was switched to Dr. McCoy and not Perez because rumors are 97% bullshit. Thankfully, I have Gina for the 3% that's not.

She's already emailed. Overall, she likes the job. She sees real potential in a lot of her kids. However, she wished she could light a candle to get Jeremy out of her classroom. She referred to him as the seed of Satan. She has money on Ashley 2 breaking his hand by the end of the summer semester.

Speaking of illegal gambling on a Starfleet vessel, a lot of people lost a lot of money betting on Jim and Spock's quick divorce. I was not one of them. Because of their stupidity, Desi now has a college fund if she decides not to follow in our footsteps. It was easy money.

I've known Jim for a long time because Liz and Kevin have been tight since Tarsus. I'm aware that he was never the big man on campus. We tried to hook up once. He drank so much that he threw up on me and then passed out before anything happened. I figured he overindulged, but I didn't realize he was drinking because of his intimacy issues. Not until much later, anyway. But because I know Jim so well, I managed to get about 15,000 credits. The betting on silly stuff is the only thing that's really entertaining on the Hamilton now.

Thank you for all the videos and pictures. Yes, they do help. I miss our kid. I'm already looking at space station assignments for next time. Especially because mom wants to hire Ben for Yorktown. That would mean the whole family would be on station. It's a lot easier for Enterprise to go there than Earth.

I will try to write again another time. I hope everything's going well with you. Write when you can. I'm sure with missions, things are probably crazy for you.

Xxx

From: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez

To: Spock's_cuddlebunny

Subject: Re: Just Checking in

Time arrived: 7/12/2260 00:00:01

It's understandable that you're feeling a little depressed this time of year. I am glad that you're finding better coping mechanisms and you are acknowledging your feelings. That's a lot of progress for you and I'm proud of that.

Hopefully, most of the anniversaries of bad days are done until at least Christmas. Or maybe they will be by the time this letter gets to Enterprise. I'm not sure how long these letters are taking from the colony. Apparently longer than from Earth.

I'm thinking about maybe staying here a little longer than the initial mission. They really need people like me here and I don't think Dr. Weston is going to be able to come back until her nephew gets to junior high at the least. She doesn't want to uproot him completely just yet. She also wants the colony to be a bit more developed before moving back, which is understandable. We're just starting to get Starbucks. And you know Starbucks are everywhere throughout the Federation. Good news, I now have somewhere where I can get a chocolate fix. I must show ID, but I get my chocolate fix there. It's weird living in a place where it is easier to get marijuana than chocolate, but it's starting to grow on me.

The pictures were adorable. I'm glad Desi did not hug you covered in strawberry cake. I got some from Kevin and Winona as well. They all email me occasionally. Your mom mentioned she's thinking about going back to work as well as selling the farm. I'm glad she's getting rid of it. A lot of dark stuff happened there to both of you. Maybe now that it's not in your family's control, you can both let go.

Write me back whenever you have a chance. I love getting updates from you. It gives me something to look forward to in the excruciating Vulcan heat.

Also, before I forget, happy anniversary. I shipped some presents, but I don't have any idea when they're going to get there. One time it took seven months for me to get a gift from my wife.

Xxxxx

From: Spock's_cuddlebunny

To: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez

Subject: Just Checking in

Time sent: 7/12/2260 12:34:01

I'm glad that I wasn't hugged by a strawberry covered toddler as well. She was cute though.

Well, since I can't have you back on Enterprise even if Spock is now the boss, Vulcan wouldn't be a horrible place to be. The access to the "headache medication" alone would make it worth it. I love Vulcan "migraine tea". Also, glad you have chocolate access even though its Starbucks.

We may take leave to visit the colony at some point in the future. Spock may get foster siblings soon and we must make sure that the father-in-law's not screwing them up too badly. He's getting better, but you never know.

Don't worry about the anniversary present thing. One of the presents Spock ordered me for our anniversary has yet to arrive. They just haven't been able to catch up with the ship. I'm sure they'll show up before the September crew switch out. Yes, I'm really looking forward to that, maybe too much. We have a lot of great crewmembers, bless Margarita for keeping this crew mentally healthy, but there are some that are just dreadful.

We have one more anniversary of a sad day happening in two days a.k.a. the anniversary of Jo Jo's mom wrapping her car around a tree. That's just going to be bad all around for Jo Jo and Bones. Jo Jo feels guilty that not only could she not keep her mom from drinking, but she kept the fact that her mom had a problem a secret. She knew. It's hard to miss the little bottles of vodka stashed everywhere. I should know.

Bones also will be engaging in the self-flagellation. Part of him is convinced that maybe if he hadn't pushed for custody so much at that time, she wouldn't have drunk herself into oblivion. He conveniently forgets about all the bottles of hard liquor that we found cleaning out the house and his ex-wife's asshole father who can probably be blamed for like 90% of her issues. Judge Lee is a legendary prick who could drive anyone to drink or use other substances, as evidenced by his other daughter's multiple trips to rehab. The drinking was not a new thing for Jo Jo's mom. Neither were any of her other issues.

Guilt is a weird thing at times. I feel guilty for being happy that Winona wasn't the one who drank herself into oblivion and crashed into a tree. It makes you blame yourself for things that you can't control. I know better and I still do it. The anniversary of the death of Chris was hard. I'm sure it's going to be equally hard for Jo Jo in two days. She's going to be spending a lot of quality time with Margarita. The whole family will be. I made sure of that.

Yes, mom did sell the farmhouse and I'm glad it's gone. Not happy it's going to become a George Kirk shrine though, but I told mom explicitly that I don't want it to become a museum to me. At least not until I'm dead and as far as Spock is concerned, that's not to happen for at least 100 more years. Therefore, he has me eating well and exercising all the time. He wants me to live my best life.

I'm starting to put the ghost of Frank behind me. It helps that he's dead. It also helps that I've been spending a lot of time with Ashley 2 and Rebecca. We formed our own little Enterprise survivor's club. We might expand soon, especially now that I'm starting the Starfleet widow's club. Special project of Admiral Pike.

The fact that I talk about what happened with people other than my husband and my therapist is a marked improvement. I was molested by my stepfather. That doesn't define who I am. He's gone. I'm still here. I saved Earth more than once, and he is ashes in the wind.

Mom is now working for Starfleet as a contractor at the Academy in the engineering department, but still Starfleet. Yes, I'm shocked. She's very anti-Starfleet, but maybe she thinks if she trains the next generation of engineers, her babies will be safer. Who knows mom logic? I try not to think about it. I'm just happy she's still sober.

So right now, we're traveling. We're going to do a month of uninterrupted deep space exploration. Some of it will be star mapping, but we might get to look at a couple more planets. I'm really looking forward to that after the last mission. Of course, this is only happening if something more urgent doesn't come up. Knowing our luck, we're going to get called in for some rescue mission. Fingers crossed.

Hey, I must go. I just got a code 12 which either means crewmembers fighting or Jeremy just did something stupid. I'm thinking the latter. Write again soon.

Xxxx

From: SuluHG2260

To: Mommy_Susan

Time arrived: 7/12/2260 22:13:01

Subject: Re: Still not getting better.

All is well, mostly, outside of some lunch time excitement. We just wrapped up a diplomatic ferry mission a couple of days ago. While relatively easy, I admire our Captain's restraint in not nerve pinching anyone. There are couple of people I want to stab with a rapier However, now we are traveling to an exploratory assignment complete with star mapping and planet surveying for the next month. Which is what we're supposed to be doing out here in the first place.

If you had money on 12:25 PM July 12th, then you can collect. At lunch, Jeremy tried to touch Ashley 2's ass. You are aware of her history, so obviously that did not go over well at all. A visit to Dr. McCoy was required. Gina may get her wish when Jim is done with him. I think he's going to try to schedule an emergency session with command once Jim finishes investigating, but for now, Jeremy is confined to quarters with a tracking wristwatch. I'm sure the only reason why Jim didn't throw him in the brig is he's under 18.

You're writing those letters? That's weird, because on Enterprise that's something the Captain always does personally, whether it be Jim or Spock. The only time it was the first officer who did it was when Jim was captain and in a coma. Then when he woke up, Jim wrote his own version.

I worry about your ship. But it's only supposed to be a year, so I think you'll make it. You might want to have an exit plan in place. I would love if everybody was in Yorktown though next time around. Especially because I feel like you would be less stressed out there. Also, Ben needs all the support he can get. Has he written to you? Are you aware of how awful his former in-laws have been? They're just awful. Which is why I doubt they'll let their only grandchild move halfway across the galaxy to a space station but one can dream.

Sometimes the happy thoughts are what keep us going.

To be continued.