Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all fabulous.

Sorry, this update is a little late. I've been focusing all my energy into finishing Hydra lullaby. The good news is all the chapters are now off to proofreading. Hopefully, that means an increase in posting chapters for this story.

Day 231: Finding Myself in San Francisco

From: Legal Queen

To: kitten_loverJJMU

Subject: Everything is well in San Francisco

Time arrived: 10/11/2260 00:00:01

Hi sweetie:

I got your letter, and I feel like I'm in a much better state of mind right now. Good news, the sale of my house in Georgia is going very well. I already have a few offers. My lawyer is handling it because if I see the Judge right now, there's a 50-50 shot that I will get arrested for assault.

I'm not surprised to find out that he physically assaulted your mom in front of you. He did the same with us when we were kids. Just like you, we didn't say anything. Who was going to believe us? He was a judge. He had so much power, and we were nothing. It's even worse realizing in hindsight that other people knew what was going on, but they said nothing because of how powerful the man was back then. At least in death, your mother exposed him for the monster that he truly was, and now he is nowhere near as powerful as he used to be.

My new therapist and I have been tackling my guilt regarding my staying silent as a child and adult. We are attempting to anyway. I wish I had done things differently, but wishes don't change things. You just must make different choices in the future, or at least that's what my therapist says. I'm working on believing her.

In your case, you shouldn't feel guilty about staying quiet because you were so young. However, in the future, know that there are people that you can go to that will believe you and do everything in their power to get you out of that situation. I feel like now it's more likely your friends are going to tell you what's going on in their lives. I feel like you're going to be the person that people trust to go to.

I think, in my case, it was more like I didn't have people in my life that I could trust that would do something. You do. You have so many good people around you, from your dad and stepmom to Kevin and Liz. I wish I had grown-up friends like Kevin and Liz, who understood my life. You have no idea how fortunate you are to have that.

Those two have started to become friends of mine. We bonded over the incident with the Judge and our crappy childhoods. At least I didn't have to deal with anything as mentally scarring as watching my whole family be killed by the followers of a genocidal dictator. It is nice to have people around me who have my back. I'm too used to having fake friends. I'm glad that you found real friends at a much earlier age than I did.

Your artwork is phenomenal, it displays how talented you really are. Because of that, I sent you a bunch of art books electronically (and a few hardcopy ones too). You should study. If you were on Earth or any other planet for that matter, I would suggest going to some classes, but that's not necessarily an option for you right now. In space, at least you'll have time for self-study. I mean it's not like you have time to go hang out at the mall with your friends. Life is probably very structured on a starship.

I am glad that you're now making friends among your classmates. The pictures of your birthday were fantastic. I think that's the happiest I've ever seen you on your birthday. I know last year we were still processing everything with your mom. You really do look adorable in your junior Starfleet uniform.

Jim's nephew looks like his clone. They look so much alike, it's ridiculous. If Jim wasn't in his early teens at the time of conception, I would suggest another DNA test. I'm sure if you and Peter met earlier, you would have become close friends back then. I think right now, he probably needs you. Losing your mom is very hard, and I'm sure it's worse when it is someone you're close to.

So, by the time you get this letter, I am sure that you have had your October switch out and received all your presents. I already know that you will make excellent use of the art supplies.

Also, I assume by this point you have met your new classmates. How has that gone so far? I hope no one is Jeremy level bad. Anyway, please write back when you get a chance. Talking to you makes the days go better.

XXXX

From: Elizabeth_Chen

To: SulxuHG2260

Time arrived: 10/11/2260 00:00:01

Subject: I will go ring shopping for you

I would like to say I'm surprised that someone was exposed to a hallucinogenic plant that behaves like Quaaludes, but I'm not. It did give me a laugh, though. I need that considering all the school stuff going on. I am so glad I'm not doing a regular class load; otherwise, it would all be way too much.

Honestly, I am expecting you to ask me to help you propose at any minute. Mainly because that Yorktown fantasy might be happening. Ben will be there, at least because he accepted my mom's proposal. I think his mother-in-law is coming with him. I'm sure you know that the Jones's case has been dropped.

Okay, the judge wouldn't even give Mr. Jones a hamster to take care of, let alone his granddaughter or the genetic material of his perspective future grandchildren. It didn't help his cause when he tried to shoot his soon to be ex-wife's car. Mom moved Ben into Starfleet housing after that. He's training with us anyway for the new Yorktown job. Ben is taking the Starfleet crash course for medical contractors. Anyway, he is three floors down in family housing. Despite the circumstances, it is so lovely to be in the same building now.

We've been doing a lot of group study sessions. We do our homework together. Okay, two of us do their homework, and the other one watches the kids. It works better this way. It takes a village.

Yep, Judge Lee is very fucked up. He is even worse than Mr. Jones, and again he tried to shoot out his wife's tires. Or maybe not because I know he has a history of abuse, so I could see the shooting up the tires thing happening. Lee has had some heartbreaking stories.

I'm not terribly close to Leonard and Nyota, and I don't want to ask Jim to talk to Jo Jo about this because it could be a trigger, but maybe you should ask Jo Jo if the judge ever hit her. I am concerned, but this is not a question I can ask her in a letter. Thankfully, you're one of the adults she really trusts, so I feel like she would talk to you.

Yes, you need more adult friends. Although so does Pav. He's emailed a few times. We are kind of friends because he was my TA for one of my classes freshman year. Also, Mom kept an eye on him personally. Yep, he is totally devastated by the break-up and not able to process. Sometimes I think letting him be up there so early wasn't the best thing. Maybe he should've worked on his doctorate before a deployment. I'm not sure. I think he just wanted to be in the stars.

I would say I'm looking forward to our video conference and so is your baby girl, but you're probably going to get this after the fact. She loves the videos. She loves seeing you and hearing your voice so much. She's just so happy.

Anyway, more videos attached and pictures because you can never ever get enough images. This time it's your daughter playing with the cousins. Those are some very resilient children. We had the memorial service a few days ago, and they handled it so well. I was an absolute mess at the services for my parents. Although, it was right after Tarsus and I was a mess for several years after that because Tarsus was a shit show. I still just want to hug them forever, but they're doing well.

Your sister is trying. Although I feel like her way of working through things is throwing herself into projects. I think she has two weddings a weekend for the next three months. If she's busy, she doesn't have to think, and I'm not entirely sure that's the best strategy.

Xxx

From: kitten_loverJJMU

To: Legal Queen

Subject: Thank You for All the Art Supplies

Time sent: 10/11/2260 17:19:08

Yes, we made it to the base last week. Thankfully all your gifts were waiting there. I love the art books you sent me. Hardcopy books are so expensive, but I absolutely love them. I've been trying a bunch of new techniques. You're right, I do have time for self-study. The holo-decks are still getting the hang of creating virtual malls, so we can't hang out there.

Gina has written self-study into our curriculum. I'm using that time for the study of arts and science. I hope it's okay that I'm letting Peter use some of the books since he likes art too. We are working together on the self-study project.

You're right; all this has been hard for him. In some ways, it is worse for him. At least I knew my father and his girlfriend before I had to live with him full time. He barely knew anything about Jim and nothing about Spock before having to move in with them. Plus, I had a few months on Earth before being thrown into starship life. He had hours. Besides, I only had to deal with my mom dying. He also lost several friends. His mom only got infected because she was trying to protect him. I mean, I have some survivor's guilt because my mom died while I was at Disneyland of Georgia, but I feel like noble sacrifice survivor's guilt must be significantly worse.

In other ways, I think it's worse for me because at least he has some good memories with his mother. He can hold onto those good moments now. With my mom and me, there was just too much bitterness and anger. I'm mad that she never stood up to the judge while living. Yes, I'm glad she had the video diaries, so I didn't have to go live with him, but I'm angry that she protected me in death in a way she never did in life. Again, all things I'm working on with Margarita.

I've had about a week of classes with the new students, and it's going okay so far. They kind of just stick to themselves. I'm trying to reach out, but it's not going as well as I hope. Only the daughter of our new therapist is really integrating herself into our classes and ship life. That does not entirely surprise me. It's probably weird being dropped off on a starship in October. However, I'm happy to say nobody is Jeremy level awful.

I'm happy to know the sale of the house is going well. You're right for letting the lawyers handle it. I think it's better for all of us if we just leave the judge behind in Georgia at this point.

I'm not surprised that other people knew what was going on and did nothing. I've had some conversations with Ashley 2 and Uncle Jim, they experienced something very similar regarding their own abuse. There were always people around who were suspicious, but they did nothing. We all agreed that their apathy was always the worst. At least the judge only ever hit me. What happened to Uncle Jim was so much worse. I only know the bare basics of what his stepfather did to him, but that is bad enough.

I am grateful to have all these real friends. I didn't think I would have them, but I'm glad that I do. It's been helpful through all of this.

Anyway? Pictures attached from the ice cream social. There may have been a little food fight. Don't tell Uncle Jim.

Xxxxx

From: SulxuHG2260

To: Elizabeth_Chen

Time arrived: 10/11/2260 20:37:24

Subject: Thank you for getting the ring for me

I'm not even surprised to find out my sister has two weddings a weekend. This is pretty much how she dealt with the miscarriage. I'm surprised she hasn't emailed me yet to discuss wedding plans. Ben and I only had like 10 more minutes to talk after everybody left after the champagne toast. We are thinking about doing the wedding in January when Enterprise is stationed near the new Vulcan colony.

Although I'm wondering if we should wait another six months and do it in Yorktown. January is summer on the Vulcan colony. I don't know if my human body can take getting married on a Vulcan planet in summer. We would all be sweltering in our formalwear. I saw pictures of Jim's ceremony last year. He was covered in sweat, and that was a spring ceremony.

It feels weird talking to you after we've already talked twice. The mail delay is just so strange. Half of the stuff in your letter, I already knew. I am glad that the judge in the custody case did things for good.

It was also so great to see all of you. The babies have gotten so big. Thank you again for helping with the proposal. You were so right about that, and I couldn't have done it without you. You are wonderful. Thank you for everything you did. You are wonderful.

I adore Pav I really do, but I think you're right that he started active duty too soon. You know his first mission was Vulcan? Losing that many people so quickly will hurt you. I was in my mid-20s, and I had trouble processing, so it must be worse at 17. I should probably suggest quality time with Margarita or the other therapist, but I'm not sure how to approach him.

Plus, the anniversary of his sister's death is coming up in a couple weeks. So, you know that the random rebound comfort hookups are going to become even more frequent. I'm hoping that our time on the volcano planet will keep him so busy that he won't have time to think about it, but who knows.

I am looking forward to quality plant time. I love quality plant time.

I'm kind of happy that we've become this big extended family. It could've gone very differently, but we're all there for each other. I really like that about our family. We may not be traditional, but we care about each other.

About your question, Jo Jo has already mentioned something about her grandfather being physically abusive to her mom, to Peter anyway. They were playing whose grandfather is worse. Peter won this contest, but it was tighter than I thought it would be, considering Peter's grandfather murdered his daughter. Although the judge drove his daughter to drink and she died, wrapping her car around the tree while intoxicated, so some may argue that he directly contributed to her death.

Right now, I think this is just something she's going to have to work out with Dr. Margarita. I believe she has been working through things. She smiles more than she did back in February. It probably helps that she has some friends at least.

Anyway, I did get the pictures. Everything arrived when we were on Starbase. I also received the care package. Bless you for sending skittles. You know I love those. Thank you for the white castle replicator code. Jim has programmed it into the officer replicator under the fake label of mushroom soup. Spock was annoyed at Jim for doing that since he accidentally ordered the mushroom soup thinking it was vegetarian, only to get a slider.

Anyway, write back to me when you can and send more pictures. Give the babies hugs for me. Tell them both I love and miss them and can't wait to see them again.

Also, best wishes on surviving Starfleet Academy. I know you can do it.

To be continued