Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last section. You were all wonderful. Thank you for all your comments and kudos. You keep me writing.

I'm so sorry that I essentially disappeared for the last 5 weeks. Finishing a story and buying a house takes a lot of energy. The day that I last updated for this story, I viewed the house that I ended up buying. So, the next five weeks were mostly filled with purchasing a home and packing. However, Hydra lullaby is done, and I'm mostly unpacked from moving. I'm hopeful that I can get back on an every other week schedule and maybe even eventually go back to weekly posts. We shall see.

Day 234: Better Judgement Comes with Age

Xxx

From: Kevin KR

To: Spock' s_cuddlebunny

Time arrived: 10/14/2260 00:00:01

Subject: I am not a clingy koala

I'm starting to like your husband more and more. Obviously, he's your voice of reason. I'm aware that most 17-year-old boys don't always make the best decisions when it comes to hookups. I'm getting better because apparently, 20 is when the commonsense kicks in. You are so right. I will never ever do better than Liz. She is a goddess among women.

I got the shovel talk from Ming because the sister of Sue's ex asshole boyfriend caught us yesterday, trying to buy an engagement ring for the Sulu proposal. She's not actually against us getting married; she just doesn't want it to happen for at least three more years. I am not against that timetable. Although I can call her by her first name now when not on the job, so progress.

Good news, I have a brand-new adviser because Nyota's mom stepped in, bless her. Unwelcome news, I think I'm going to have to do my semester on ship during the winter semester. Apparently, it will get me completely off track if I defer until next fall because I can't do it in the summer without special permission from my girlfriend's mother.

Liz is resigned to it. She knows I would like to wait until summer, but we literally must ask her mom to approve a summer position. Even Nyota's mom can't do it, and she's now the head of the Academy. We don't want to give even the impression of nepotism, so we are not going to ask.

After a lengthy discussion with my girlfriend, I have put in applications for Discovery along with a few other ships that do diplomatic stuff like the Rice and the Albright. I really wish I could read your bad captain list, but Spock is probably right that your email has been monitored. I've heard some interesting stuff while I was interning with Liz's mom.

I'm sure you know by now that my girlfriend is absolutely furious due to the brand-new Kobayashi Maru that we all know you are responsible for. The only thing going in her favor right now is I can be her first officer for the simulation. Okay, and she didn't get stuck doing a report on the Tarsus catastrophe. I don't think either of us would be mentally stable enough to write out what went wrong and what better choices could have been made. Thank god, nobody knows that I was there. I don't want to help anybody with that project.

Peter, even though adorable, is bringing back all sorts of bad memories. I don't need another trigger. I'm already back to going to therapy twice a week, thank you very much. I am too busy for more sessions.

I know Liz wrote to you to see if you would be willing to let her interview you for her essay. I understand if you don't want to. It's a lot, and I don't want you to do something that may send you back to therapy two times a week. I doubt that you have time for more sessions.

We're getting the hang of balancing schoolwork with childcare, although mom is in London, so she's not helping with babysitting as much. Ben is now living in our apartment building, so we have been teaming up for co-parenting. Yes, get Sue that book because she's going to need it. Liz wasn't going to tell her about the engagement until after the engagement happened, but she needed somebody to vent to about Sue's ex-boyfriend's little sister screwing with us on social media. I hate her so much.

Also, I'm a little annoyed at you for yesterday's emergency email with an awful subject line. Although now that I think about it, your husband was probably the one that sent that. However, I'm just going to remind myself that he kept you from asking inappropriate questions.

Yes, some people tried to bring up the Georgia incident to Starfleet Academy judiciaries. However, Nyota's mother just started laughing. Seriously, she just started laughing. Apparently, it's very against Starfleet policy to punish a cadet for preventing domestic abuse even if it's between father and daughter. So, nothing's going to happen in that regard.

I was not a clingy koala bear. I just needed a hug because I was still dealing with watching my entire family being murdered and way too much sexual assault. This might be why I didn't see the Christine situation the way everyone else does because my views on sex are really fucked up. I probably should make an extra appointment with my therapist. Although Christine is on Delta Vega, it doesn't matter anymore.

So, could you please fix your email system so you can recall outside messages? I am still shocked I haven't received an angry email from Nyota for the things we accidentally told Jo Jo. I am expecting that quite soon, actually.

Anyway, please write back when you have time. I want to know if the care package did arrive and what Peter thinks. Also, keep sending pictures. He's adorable even if he's clinging to you for dear life.

Xxxxx

From: Spock's_cuddlebunny

To: Kevin KR

Time sent: 10/14/2260 22:23:01

Subject: Re: I am not a clingy koala bear

Do you want me to get out the pictures because I will? I should because Peter would find it all fascinating. He really does want to know more about the family, and I'm sure he would find it adorable. You were totally a clingy koala bear as a child, and I was happy to give you as many hugs as you needed because I needed them too. We were all working through a lot of shit at the time. You're not the only one who needed extra therapy time to deal with all the memories that this is bringing back.

Peter is getting a little less clingy. He's been hanging around with Dr. Diaz's daughter in addition to the Ashley crew and Jo Jo. The other new kids are still getting acclimated, which I understand because getting used to a new school is always difficult. It must be so much worse when that new school is on a starship traveling to the middle of nowhere.

I am going to help your girlfriend as soon as she emails me her questions. I'm sure it's taking Liz a while to figure out how much I can tell her about what really happened during the Battle of Vulcan. However, I've already been putting my thoughts together. Spock and I've even chatted about it a little bit. Our consensus is terrible choices were made all around. My husband is still processing his Amanda guilt and has a list of at least 50 things he could do differently to prevent the death of his mother.

We both agree we are going to need legal counsel on this one because I'm not sure how much I can say. A lot of things about what happened to Vulcan are not part of the public record, including, but not limited to the truth about my husband's "grandfather." Also, no official version contains anything about me manipulating my future husband into choking me and accidentally forming a mental bond just because I had to get him declared emotionally compromised. I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to talk about that. Of course, I wouldn't even need to do that if Starfleet allowed more people than just the ship therapist to declare a Captain mentally compromised and relieve them of their duty. Unfortunately, the ship therapist was killed with the CMO, and you can see how this can reveal a lot of things. I'm not sure how much your future mother-in-law wants her daughters Prof. to know about. Probably not this much.

I don't blame you for not wanting to help the person working on the Tarsus project. I read the only slightly redacted Tarsus report, and I threw up twice. So, I can understand not wanting to relive it.

I don't want to dig up all the bad memories from the battle of Vulcan myself, but I owe Liz since apparently, I'm the reason why the Kobayashi Maru now requires essay writing. However, Spock is out. He might provide me little tidbits, but I don't want him to get stuck in an 'I could've saved Amanda if I did this or that' loop. Spock was extremely depressed in the months following his mother's death, and I don't want him to go back to that mind space.

Sorry, I can't allow for recalling of outside messages. That's a Starfleet thing that I can't override. I've tried it, and I've been unsuccessful so far. I know what you accidentally said to my pseudo-niece. Nyota isn't holding that against you. Although she did have a very long conversation about the concept of statutory rape with the 12-year-old. Considering I was already sexually assaulted by my stepfather at this age, this conversation was probably well overdue.

Now she does hold what happened against Christine. They're not friends anymore; that was all Christine's doing. Let's just say all that was a mess. So, it turns out I can block emails from Starfleet personnel from their private accounts and her work accounts.

I'm sorry we didn't get to talk during the engagement party. I mean, really, we only had time for a toast, and then we had to leave Ben and Sulu to do preliminary wedding plans. It's going to either be on New Vulcan in the dead of new Vulcan summer or Yorktown during Starfleet summer. After having a wedding during New Vulcan spring, I'm going to go with Yorktown in summer. You remember how hot everything was, and it was just spring. Although if they're having an Earth ceremony and not a Vulcan wedding ceremony, then they can have it inside.

We are currently four days into our new mission exploring the planet of a thousand volcanoes. We're going to see if Peter can take Spock spending quality time on the planet with the away team. Our new science officer requested that Spock help with the research. I'm not perfectly okay with my husband being surrounded by volcanoes, but he promises not to go inside of one again. That's really all I can hope for. He's happy to be doing science with the team, so I must let him. Thankfully Peter is being less of a koala. I hope he has gotten to the point that he won't have a panic attack. Fingers crossed.

Peter says thank you for all the comic books. He loves them all and has been reading, including the one about the anamorphic duck superhero that adopts a precocious orphan. It's been helping him work through some issues. Thank you for all the toys too. We didn't get to take much from the colony because of contamination risk, not that there was much to begin with. So, I'm glad that he has more stuff.

There is a storage unit in Iowa that belonged to Peter's mom. I'm currently trying to get it moved to San Francisco and merged with mine and Spock's stuff, but we might have to ask you to help with it. You know how difficult it is to do anything from the middle of deep space. I'm still shocked we were able to pull off the proposal. That's the last resort because I'm not sure how much you want to go to Iowa again.

I'm sorry that you're not able to defer your semester on ship until summer. However, I think Discovery will be the right place for you. I mean it must be more interesting than spending quality time surveying volcanic planets. I wish we were at least going to places with populations to observe. Instead, I feel like we are looking for pretty places to colonize. Although I'm not sure why they're interested in the planet of a thousand volcanoes. Maybe energy production.

I am not surprised about the misuse of judiciaries. Although I am surprised about Nyota's mom having a laughing fit. I feel like maybe she could use that with the ex-husband being a dick. You probably should check in on her about that.

Anyway, more artwork by your precocious little nephew and favorite pseudo-niece. Good news, Peter is starting to call me Uncle Jim occasionally. So, progress. Little by little I think we're getting there.

Let me know how classes are going. I'm sure by the time you get this, it will probably be midterm season.

To be continued