Thank you to everybody who read or review the last conversation. You are all lovely.
Day 239: Greetings from the New Vulcan colony
From: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez
To: Spock' s_cuddlebunny
Time arrived: 10/19/2260 00:00:01
Subject: Re: You have been busy
I will admit that I have been doing a lot more at work than I usually do because I am, as you stated, creating a new field of psychology. The Vulcan mind is different than the human mind and no other species in the universe has gone through such a cataclysmic near extinction-level event at this point in their development. This is a type of trauma that hasn't been dealt with before, so yes, my work life is busy, mostly writing research papers.
I cannot live on work alone. I have a few friends that I've made on the colony, most of which are related to you by marriage, but I'm very much alone most of the time. Talking to you helps ease the loneliness a little bit.
Kevin's sources were accurate, and I heard from your father-in-law that you guys are going to be in the sector for a few months doing planetary exploration and other work nearby starting in early December. I'm hoping you'll get to stop by occasionally. Maybe Peter could even stay on the colony a little bit, not necessarily with me, but with his grandfather. It's totally tradition to leave kids over summer break with the grandparents, and you will be coming to the colony during summer.
Do you think Peter is now emotionally ready for that? Don't blame yourself for his reaction when you went on your first away mission. It takes time to adjust after going through something so traumatic. It's normal for him to have nightmares. I assume you're working with Margarita on that.
I'm aware of Dr. Diaz formally of the Hamilton and soon to be on Enterprise. She was on my shortlist last time, but it was decided she would be of more use on the Hamilton. However, I know she wouldn't be involved in anything like the latest conspiracy. I feel like Lizzy's mom will make sure stuff like that doesn't happen. Of course, Jeremy slipped through, but nobody thinks a child is an instrument of evil.
If I'm doing the math right in my head, I assume that you'll be getting this after interns and the new children for the program arrived. How is that going?
Also, with a ship as big as Enterprise, getting 50 interns is normal. Although they usually don't send them to ships doing in-depth space exploration. As you mentioned, Starfleet is different right now due to all the losses from Vulcan and the fallout from the Vengeance incident. Maybe they want the new generation to get a better look at what Starfleet life is really like. Break those new cadets in early.
I think you're right that older Starfleet members might be beneficial right now. I know they've already changed the mandatory retirement age. I know a few friends that have been called back in for active duty from their retirement. The policies, as written, do need to be changed. We must change after what happened, there's no choice.
I'm glad you wrote the counterpart directly. I assume the elder probably got his email at the same time I got mine, so I'm putting up my pictures, and he can look at them while we have tea together this afternoon.
Yes, I did write to your mom and brother. I haven't heard back yet, but that makes sense. You're closer. So, I might get a reply from you first.
I know I've told you this many times dealing with grief is not a sprint, but a test of endurance. Everybody handles it differently, and that's okay if you do handle it. Come to think of it, my wife told you this many times before. You didn't exactly listen to that advice after her death though I don't think I really did either. We were both a bit of a mess. That's okay.
In time we moved past that initial reaction and have recalibrated ourselves. Sometimes that grief can come back at the weirdest moments. I wish she were with me right now. I feel like she would be so much better at creating the field of Vulcan psychology, then I would. Of the two of us, she was always the one with more empathy and patience. Alayna could understand any patient. I miss her so much when I'm dealing with a patient that drives me nuts because she would not be affected at all.
I'm always going to miss my wife, just like you're still going to miss Sam and I would be worried if Peter didn't make you remember your brother. That just shows what a great person you are as well as how compassionate you are. You feel things very profoundly, James, you always have.
At the same time, I think you're your own worst critic. You're always very hard on yourself, and it doesn't help when there are assholes around telling you that you only got where you are because of sexual favors or similar bullshit. I'm going to tell you not to listen to that, but I've been your friend and doctor long enough to know better. Those types of comments do get to you. They shouldn't because they're not true at all, but there's this part of you that believes the lies. I don't know how to make you realize that they are lies, but I'm trying.
Anyway, best of luck on whatever you're doing. May the interns not drive you crazy.
Xxxxx
From: Spock's_cuddlebunny
To: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez
Time arrived: 10/19/2260 13:14:31
Subject: Why did I get the pothead interns that are underage?
All the interns are driving me insane. Now that I no longer must worry about the kids breaking into engineering or botany to get wasted or baked, the new interns are doing it. The ones that are 16 to 19 anyway. The older ones know better. Yes, let's give Enterprise all the Starfleet Academy interns/future officers that are technically still teenagers. You know, while we're reconsidering the maximum age of the Starfleet officer, maybe we should also look at the minimum age. I don't think 16 should be it.
In contrast, the new kids are exceptionally well behaved and haven't been trying to make their way into botany for "Vulcan headache medication". Bless Gina for keeping all the kids under control. Of course, we've gone from having three Ashleys to now also having three Chrises, and none of them are named Christopher. We have a Christina who is currently in the process of legally changing their name to Chris, a Christiana, and a Charles. Technically they all have distinct names, but they all want to go by Chris. As somebody that only lets their therapist and their husband call them by their given name, I will oblige.
I am looking forward to seeing you soon. I think we might have time to do a day trip or two. We could even be having a wedding. Ben and Sulu got engaged a couple weeks ago, although I am trying to talk them out of a New Vulcan wedding. I was sunburnt for like two weeks after the ceremony because apparently, SPF 200 sunscreen doesn't last for the length of a traditional Vulcan marriage ceremony. Allegedly, it couldn't be a traditional Vulcan ceremony with a tent. Would a tent upend tradition that much? Sorry, I'm ranting because I'm still bitter.
There's nothing wrong with being friends with the family of my husband. They're good Vulcans, even my father-in-law who glares at me a lot, and you know I'm very partial to Spocks. I'm glad the counterpart is coming over for tea. It's probably good for him. It must be lonely being in another timeline away from everything you knew and yet simultaneously surrounded by what seems like cheap knockoffs. That may be problematic.
So good news, Spock has been on the planet for the last three days, and Peter has not woken up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. We have not had a repeat of the panic attack incident. Okay, he is sleeping in our room with me on the couch, but he is handling Spock not being there. That's all I can ask for.
It helps that Spock has been video calling him every night. It helps me too. I also told Peter that he could text Spock at any time if he got scared, but he hasn't had to use that yet. So, fingers crossed that nothing goes horribly wrong.
As soon as I dictate that I get called to the bridge before I can even enjoy my lunch in peace. Something weird is going on down on the planet, and I must check it out.
I will update you later.
Xxxxx
From: mental_health_help_desk_Suarez
To: Spock' s_cuddlebunny
Time arrived: 10/19/2260 22:49:43
Subject: So sentient volcanic rock creatures are a thing
Did you know that Vulcans can mind-meld with sentient volcanic rock creatures? Also, did you know that all our scans for life completely missed the sentient volcanic rock creatures? We just discovered this.
Said sentient volcanic rock creatures are kind of mad at us for running all sorts of tests without permission, not that we realized there was anyone to ask permission of. They didn't buy that excuse.
They want us off their planet now and we are complying after we lost one security team member and almost lost an intern. I'm so glad Spock is going to have to deliver this report to Rodriguez because if I did it, she's going to assume that I broke into the "Vulcan headache medication." This is one of those wild Starfleet stories that no one believes.
I'm not sure how this is going to affect Peter's separation anxiety. On the positive side, Spock came back to the ship. Okay, one team member didn't, and we have an intern in medical, but Spock came back in one piece, mostly. However, he did come back with green blood running down the side of his face, which Peter saw. Also, Spock broke his wrist. Mind melding with volcanic rock creatures can be dangerous. Yet, currently Spock is typing up his report to Rodriguez as Peter sleeps on top of him. It's kind of adorable.
I'm leaning my head against him because I do not like the thought of my husband getting beat up by sentient volcanic rock creatures. I already have Spock dying because of a volcano issues; this is just going to add to those. You know I don't even want to think about losing my husband. Of course, your letter from earlier reminded me that that's a possibility. I don't want to outlive my husband. That's like my greatest fear.
I've already lost a lot of people that I love, including my brother, Chris, and Alayna. I don't want to add anybody else to that list. Some may think that I should include George, but you can't lose someone you never had. Sam lost a father, I didn't. I never had one, not until Chris and you know what happened there.
Some days losing him still hurts. There are days when I would love to call him and ask him if I'm doing the right thing with Peter. I just want to hear his voice. Like he should be in London picking out paint for the new nursery; instead, mom is there filling that role. Although maybe she sees it as paying it forward. Chris was there for me when she couldn't be, and now she's going to be there for Chris's twins when he can't be. Maybe there is some sort of beauty to that. I don't know.
I do know that family is not all about blood. It's about the connections we make and the people that keep us tethered to reality. Family is about the people we let into our heart, and I think I've made a good family for myself.
Anyway, I'm done rambling for the night. I'm going to figure out how to get my 12-year-old to his room without waking him up. Wish me luck.
To be continued