Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all fabulous. Now a break from all these rapid messages and a return to actual emails.

Day 256: I Am Too Pregnant for This

From: Number_one_Pike

To: Spock's_cuddlebunny; Jim's_cuddlebear

Time arrived: 11/05/2260 00:00:01

Subject: It was good to see you both again

I bet this letter is getting to you even later than last time. Because we spoke in person not that long ago, I decided to wait a few days before replying. Sorry, I'm writing both of you together, but carrying twins is exhausting. Starting a new job is exhausting on its own, but being pregnant makes it even worse, and I am only in the second trimester.

Why did I want to get pregnant? Everything already hurts. Yes, I'm going to have cute little babies once this is over with, but I am just so tired all the time. That pregnancy book that said I would have more energy during this trimester was lying. I also must pee every five minutes.

Nobody tells you that before you go for in vitro. They just show you cute little pictures of adorable babies and all the clothes you can pick out, but they never mention the peeing every five minutes or the throwing up at all hours of the day. The name morning sickness is misleading. I so want to stop throwing up all the time. It's exhausting. Your mother just laughs at me and makes some snide comment about Kevin being her favorite due to the lack of morning sickness and never using her bladder as a soccer ball.

Please send me pictures of Spock and Peter's science time. It must be adorable. I want more pictures of you being parental. I think it will give me something to look forward to as the babies set up camp on my bladder. They shouldn't be doing that yet, but my twins are overachievers. Or maybe this is just one of those early symptoms that I'm dealing with for longer than normal again like the throwing up all the time.

I'm so glad we were able to have another video chat. We had a wonderful time with Peter. He's such a cute kid. I know you and Spock will do well with him. I get that you are terrified, but it's a good terrified. Winona was in tears afterward, but she was delighted and glad that she got to see Peter again. She was pissed at Arlene for not telling her about him for years, but she was trying not to speak ill of the dead. It wasn't going that well, but at least she held her tongue, so Peter didn't hear it. I feel like that's progress.

London is going well, at least in the sense that I have got rid of a lot of the idiots that were old Marcus allies. You know maybe that's why I'm exhausted. Apparently, those roots ran deeper than we initially thought. I'm also so happy that Rebecca is here. At least there is one other faculty member that I'm not worried about causing an interplanetary incident.

Since I know you encrypted this message, I might as well tell the truth. We caught a team messing with the universal translator's algorithm. They were trying to adjust things so that it would translate everything in the worst possible way. Nothing brings about war faster than miscommunication. A lot of people believe in the Marcus philosophy and crave war and hatred. Carol's not one of them, but so many other people do and many of them are still in Starfleet. You get the idea. Well they were in Starfleet. Like I said I've been cleaning house. Which has been another thing that has been emotionally draining. Okay, I really can't blame everything on the pregnancy, can I?

Thank you, Spock, for your decorum. I know you wanted to say some other things about my niece, but I appreciate you keeping those thoughts to yourself. Trust me, I know there are so many problems there. Chrissy is a grown-up and she needs to work through this on her own with the help of an incredibly good psychologist, but for right now I'm just going to let it be. I must focus on the twins.

You might be right about the powers that be giving me good assignments because they feel guilty about the dead husband. Although I'm not quite sure if this is a good assignment. I think this might be a punishment for being competent. Like we should've seen what Marcus was doing, but we didn't, and now we must deal with the mess. At least it's coming out now and not in another century. Imagine how much worse it would have been if we allowed this corruption to fester.

So, another thing, I think Winona is seriously considering moving here. She was supposed to be going back soon, but I think she's looking at long-term plans to stay around. Kevin is going to be going doing his semester on a starship starting in January. He did get Discovery. Then another year after that, he'll be up in space. I don't think Winona wants to be alone in another town filled with ghosts. Right now, with Kevin there, it's good, but once he and the grandbabies are gone, I don't know if she wants to be there alone. She's been ridiculously happy here in London. Maybe a change would be good.

I know you're busy, but write back when you can.

Xxxxx

From: Spock's_cuddlebunny

To: Number_one_Pike

cc: Jim's_cuddlebear

time sent: 11/05/2260 23:03:01

Subject: Busy would be an understatement

I don't think busy is the best word to discuss the last few days. Hellish and psychotic might be better. So, what started out as a rescue mission became an investigation that has uncovered a possible conspiracy to start a costly war by having the daughter of the head of Starfleet murdered. Really, I thought we were so done with this stuff, but apparently, it's time for the industrial housecleaning. We can't lose our way and we can't allow this to fester because then it will be worse.

Okay, no more work talk, at least not on this channel. I'm sure you'll get the official report especially because I think your translation discovery might be involved. You are right, miscommunication is the key to war. Although I feel like it's less the Marcus philosophy and more war profiteering. Who benefited from the Vengeance being created? They say always follow the money.

You know I have to stop turning on the microphone and just dictating these emails to you. Okay, happy thoughts. Although the science time has been suspended for the foreseeable future, there are more shots of Peter and Spock doing science together. My child currently has A's in all his classes. This should be expected because he has my intelligence, but also Gina is an excellent teacher. Even in the middle of a personal crisis, she's giving the kids exactly what they need. I adore her so much.

I had a few teachers like her at smart kid boarding school, but when Kevin came to live with us, I went to regular high school for the last few years and that was a mistake. It's one of the contributing factors in me being a genius-level repeat offender. At least it will be better for Peter.

I half expected Peter to be freaking out this week with everything going on, but he's been good. No crying no freaking out. No hugging me for dear life every time I spend the day on the Hamilton trying to work through all this bull shit. It feels miraculous although maybe he's getting used to us. Perhaps he's been with us long enough that he doesn't expect it to all fall apart. Or maybe the triple sessions with Margarita are helping. I don't know, but I'm just grateful.

Spock wanted to send you a bunch of baby books that promptly point out that it's not unusual to have morning sickness at all times of the day for the duration of your entire pregnancy, but I stopped him from doing that. This is not a time for an I told you so moment. We must work on that. Although we might send some baby stuff for Christmas. I feel like by that point, you'll be out of the woods enough that it would be appropriate. I was born three months early and came out perfectly okay. Granted I was a fat preemie. I'm allergic to everything, but still relatively healthy.

So, because of the Hamilton situation that I'm sure you've been briefed on by this point or at a minimum Kevin told mom and mom told you we've been doing a lot of rapid messaging. Liz let it drop that Winona is planning to relocate permanently to London. I'm not upset about this because I was pushing for it and suggested it in my last letter to her. Despite everything you are doing with cleaning house in London she seems happier and freer. I don't think I've ever seen her this healthy before, even if we are dealing with the surprise kid.

Yes, Peter is the ghost of Sam in a lot of ways, but he's also this bright bit of sunshine. It was kinda like Kevin in the beginning. Something else to focus on. This new thing in your life that you can be happy about. You're still grieving, but you have this other person that needs you. So, you move forward because you must take care of this other person.

We're all grieving here. We're not just dealing with the ghost of Sam again, but we also lost Peter's mom. She's the one who got me to Dr. and Dr. Suarez. She's the one who knew not to trust Frank. The only one who saw through my smiles and lies. So, it hurts losing her, but I must focus on Peter too. It's not like I'm using him to prevent myself from processing the grief, but maybe it's helping me handle it in a better way than wallowing in it.

Mom wallowed in her grief. She wallowed after dad died. She wallowed after finding out who Frank really was. She wallowed in it after Sam. Iowa was the place of wallowing. A living monument to grief.

She's starting to move out of that. San Francisco was the first step because Kevin was there and you were there along with all her other friends. Now you're in London and Kevin is going to be a Starfleet officer soon wherever he and Liz end up. Although I feel like he might end up in the diplomatic program sooner rather than later. (I've talked to Ambassador Garber a little about the possibility of getting Kevin fast-tracked due to "life experience.") So, London would be good. A completely fresh start. I want her to have that.

Also, I think I would feel better if you weren't in London alone. I know Rebecca and Carol are there, but the more people, the better. Yes, I'm still bitter about not being able to come to see the twins be born in person, but I do need to stay here. Peter needs stability, and we are starting to get to something almost like stable. I'm starting to get that parenthood is tough. I love it. It's nice coming home after a day of dealing with all the political bull shit of Hamilton and getting to cuddle with my kid. This, I like. Maybe they had the right idea of showing the cute baby pictures to you.

It takes a lot of demanding work to get to the cuddling. I may not have to deal with morning sickness, but I do get nightmares and a preteen sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night because he is dreaming about his mom dying again. When we finally get him asleep, it's worth it. Thankfully, Peter's nightmares are coming less, but he's coming to us more, so silver lining.

Anyway, write to us again. Will we be getting more ultrasound pictures soon? The book I am reading says 20 weeks should be the next scan. I think that's next week if I'm doing the math right. I need more pictures of my future niece or nephew to show off. It's what I do. My office might have more pictures of baby D then what is officially allowed. She's just sunshine.

To be continued