Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. You are all so wonderful.

I thought we could take a moment and look at Sue's psyche. So, it's time for a letter to our favorite one and ½-year-old.

Warning: grab some tissues.

Day 258: Confessions from a Mommy on the Edge

From: Mommy_Susan

To: Elizabeth_Chen

Time sent: 11/07/2260 02:23:01

Subject: I need quality baby time

Hey Liz, I am sure that by the time you read this, I've already written to you at least one or two rapid messages, but right now I just want to write a letter to my baby girl. I've been trying to write to you, and I just haven't been able to. Honestly, I think you would ask me too many questions about what happened, and I think I need another day or two before I can answer them. Fortunately, adorable one and a half-year-olds don't do that sort of thing. Thanks for the pictures. I need them right now.

Dear Demora:

Hey, baby, this is mommy. I'm on daddy's ship right now in his room. He's actually asleep next to me. Which is nice and also why I'm typing this the old-fashion way. Maybe he was right. I missed this part of a relationship more than the other stuff. Just having someone there to hold me and make it all go away.

Mommy is sad right now and a little scared, but she's safe on daddy ship. Daddy won't let anything happen to her.

So, something bad happened to mom. Some people that she works with don't like her very well. They think mommy got her job because her mommy is the big woman in charge. They don't like that. They forget that your mommy worked extremely hard when she was at the Academy and was the top person in her class. They forget that she was one of the youngest female first officers in Starfleet history. The only reason why the gender qualifier is on there is because Spock beat me to the record by like six months. Of course, his spouse completely shattered the captain record, but those were very extenuating circumstances.

OK, I guess I need to back up here. So, while mommy was pregnant with you, she couldn't stay on the Hamilton passed the first trimester. So, somebody else came in and took over her job while mommy went back to Earth to teach at the Academy until you were a year old. Well, the replacement was mad that instead of becoming the new captain of the Hamilton when the old one left, they brought in some outsider. More importantly, they brought in an outsider who has no idea what they were doing. (Your mommy had to redo that sentence because she wrote a bad word.)

Mommy's replacement was not happy about this, which I can understand because nobody wants to work for an incompetent moron. However, the alternative didn't realize that they were not given this position because the replacement did not respected women very much. There were too many complaints in his file.

Are you too young to learn about the concept of misogyny? We were hoping that at this point in the Federation, that would be a concept that I wouldn't have to teach. Unfortunately, baby, we don't live in that world.

At first, the replacement thought that by covering up for the captain's incompetence, he would eventually get the new job, but then I arrived back from maternity leave to finish out the rest of my Hamilton's mission. The replacement was not happy. So, the replacement decides to spread a lot of rumors around the ship, and a lot of people start to believe him. It's quite easy for them to think that I only got the job I did because of who my mother is. As if my mother only got her job because most of Starfleet High Command got murdered by Marcus' grand conspiracy of the Federation. It's hard to lead when people don't respect you.

Eventually, mommy sent the replacement back to the Academy for intensive sexual-harassment training, but he had already set into motion events that led to a diplomatic catastrophe and mommy being held captive for a couple of weeks. I was told I was alone for the last eight days. It felt like longer, but the entire time, I thought about you. About how much I loved you and needed to come home to you and about how you're the most crucial thing in the world to me.

Thankfully, Uncle Jim found me and got me somewhere safe. Now we're trying to figure out why the last mission ended so badly. Other than re-counting what happened, which I finally did yesterday, I'm not having much to do with the investigation. That's probably for the best, baby girl.

Here's the thing in Starfleet, if you survive a horrible kidnapping that turns out to be some conspiracy to start a war, you get a promotion. So, I could go back to the Hamilton as the new Captain. I was even told your daddy can come with me. Because to be honest, he's about the only person I trust as a possible first officer right now.

This would be a dream assignment in about 12 years when you, or your future stepsister, could qualify for the minors on ship program. I've been told that thanks to Gina, it looks like this might become a more permanent thing, but right now, I don't think this is what I need.

Part of me is thinking that maybe it's time to leave Starfleet for good. Perhaps I should get a nice cushy job in the private sector where I can be with you all the time. It was something I thought about while I was missing, especially when Garber wasn't there with me anymore.

The first eight days were easier because at least I wasn't alone. I had Ambassador Garber with me. Also, our captors were kind enough to not put the captain anywhere near us. I feel like he probably suffered something worse than malnutrition. Uncle Spock won't let me look at the autopsy report, and Uncle Jim made it so I can't hack into them. I really shouldn't be surprised.

Then there's this other part of me that's not ready to leave Starfleet just yet. Grandma says the organization needs people like me. Also, I don't want to leave your daddy up here alone with the wolves. Granted, he has Uncle Jim and Spock right now, but they are going to end up on a different ship eventually. Maybe by that time, the whole family can be together. Mom is thinking out loud, forgive her. Mommy is deciding what to do.

Mommy doesn't want to go to the Hamilton. Mainly because it's suspicious that nobody contacted grandma when she went missing until Garber got back. Jim said some of it was because people on board were lied to, but I don't think that's the entire truth.

On the other hand, mommy wants to work with daddy. I think we would make a good team. She's trying to see if maybe there's another ship we could serve on together. Mommy isn't sure that's ever going to happen.

Baby, sorry, I wrote all of this down. I just needed to tell somebody, and you're a good listener. Also, mom is sad right now and a bit angry. She's had a rough few weeks, but she loves you very much and can't wait to see you soon. I'm giving you so many hugs. You're my baby girl, and I love you so much.

Mommy will see you soon. Bye, sweetie pie.

To be continued