Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last set of emails. Your reviews keep me in the happy writing zone. I look forward to seeing your comments after every chapter.

Day 283: I'm glad we're like this

From: Benjamin_2254
To: SuluHG2260
Subject: I just want to give you a hug.
Time arrived: 12/01/2260 00:00:01

I'm glad you warned me that your letter would be a lot. I wish I could have been there to hug you at the time. It must have been difficult with Sue being missing. That must've been such an awful time for you. I remember the days waiting to get word of Zach and then Starfleet officers showing up at my door. I burst into tears the moment I saw them because I knew he was gone. I'm glad you didn't have that.

I'm also glad you didn't send this to me as a rapid message. I think it was better that I could read your letter after sharing several rapid messages with you and Sue, knowing that you're both mostly okay.

I don't think you can go through what she went through and be 100% okay. I don't think you can either because the thoughts of losing someone you care about can be hard to process even when you get the best possible outcome.

I care about Sue a lot. I think somehow, she became one of my best friends. I'm still a little confused on exactly how that happened. I blame you in the best way possible. We bonded over you being gone and horrible playgroups, as you're aware. She has excellent taste in wine. Also, the Hamilton was usually closer by, and I got more messages from her than you. Now that she's on Enterprise, I feel like there's a better chance of me seeing you two in person before getting a response to the message I sent her a couple of days ago.

A year and a half ago, when my boyfriend of only a couple of weeks informed me that he just found out he had a kid by his friend he sometimes hooked up with, I didn't know what to think. You were the second guy I tried anything with after Zach died. The first was, of course, a disaster as it should have been. He disappeared after he found out I had a kid and a dead husband. See, aren't you glad you weren't the rebound?

I had so-called friends telling me to dump you. (I honestly appreciate that more than the ones who waited until the engagement to say the same thing but whatever.) These people were convinced you would suddenly figure out you were straight. I'm rolling my eyes while typing this. It's 2260, and people still have trouble grasping the concept of bisexuality. Although in your case, I'm going with demisexual in regards to women. Because you're never with someone who is female unless you really care about them.

I know that you really care about Sue. It was never just a casual hookup with the two of you. This connection between you and her is ridiculously strong. I knew that before reading your email to me. I'm okay with that. I'm glad you have that.

We get to decide who we are, not anyone else.

We are the ones who decide what our family is like; I like this family. I like that I can send snarky emails to Sue. Also, I'm really looking forward to our wine and toddler playgroup days again. That's like the best part of her deciding to go the Yorktown with me. Well, other than you being close by us and, therefore, seeing you more than once every couple of years.

I'm up for a Gina intervention if you need me. Although I may need help with Zoe. She kind of read some of Sue's rapid messages to me, and now she has lots of questions. Maybe some of this should be happening as a group. I don't necessarily want to explain myself to my sister-in-law, but I kind of have to.

You know I originally wrote sister there. I guess it's more like that. Being an only child, I do feel like Zoe's my sister. I adore her. I always have.

I'm mostly packed and have everything in storage. Now that we're engaged, some things are a little bit easier, like storage unit access. Although I do have to make sure I don't lose Zach's pension because of the remarriage. I have a few meetings before leaving the planet regarding that. Winona told me to get it straightened out before the wedding. I'm going to trust her in this regard. The bureaucracy involved in this is a bit of a nightmare, and that woman knows bureaucracy. That plan to become a cashless society is falling apart more and more.

So our kids were extra cranky today because they had to get a bunch of vaccines due to going to the colony. They were not happy. They didn't have to go through as much for when we went to Yorktown. Which doesn't make sense because Yorktown has visitors from all over the galaxy. Although maybe we're getting vaccinated to protect the Vulcans from us. We don't want to accidentally give someone a cold that can kill them.

I took the kids by myself because Liz just found out that she would have to do her Kobayashi Maru in six days. She has the second slot. Liz thinks it's because she is being punished, but I think it's because we're going to have to leave a week before finals. Unlike all the other exams, she can't take this from the ship. I heard this is SOP for Starfleet cadets to do their finals during transport when they have to be shipped out early for their semester on ship. Regardless she's not happy about it. Liz is only going to get to do a run-through with her team once. I'm trying to help her with baby D because Kevin must be with her.

It's starting to become more real that I will start a completely new career on a space station in the middle of nowhere. Okay, the same career but at a new location. You get what I mean. Although I feel like being the head of pediatric medicine on a far-off Starbase is different than being a local pediatrician in San Francisco. I am excited and looking forward to it.

Earth is overrated. Even if I'm going to be on a space station, I'm still getting a chance to see the big galaxy. More importantly, the kids will as well. San Francisco is a very diverse place, but Yorktown would be so much more. Also, I think I'm ready to leave the family drama far behind. Zach's dad tried to talk to his soon-to-be ex-wife again.

Obviously, authorities were called in to escort him far away. We've decided that the lawyers will not notify him of her leaving the planet until we're on our way. Also, because Starfleet is involved, her location can remain classified, which is just good for everybody involved. The whole family has issues.

I hate that Zoe will be the one coming back to the planet alone. However, I think she's planning to look for a job very far away and not give her father her new address. We are all done with him. So done. She's a scientist, so there are options.

XXXX

From: SuluHG2260
From: Benjamin_2254
Subject: I just want to give you a hug.
Time sent: 12/01/2260 06:12:01

I'm sorry, sweetie, that you still have to deal with Zach's dad. I wish you didn't have to, but I'm also glad that you're leaving soon. I think by the time you get this, you'll probably be en route here. I know you're getting to New Vulcan after we arrive in the system. We're actually on our way to the sector. Although we won't be arriving to New Vulcan until a few days before the ceremony.

We are supposed to pick up some Vulcan Science Academy members who will be temporarily assigned to our ship during our two-month research assignment. It's supposed to demonstrate the cooperation between Starfleet and the VSA. Especially because the VSA is rebuilding. Spock has told me that many of the best scientists did survive because they were on various research ships at the time of the planet's destruction. Sometimes serendipitous things happen.

Spock also mentioned that the Academy is looking for researchers, particularly geologists. Spock may have looked up Zoe's CV at Sue's urging. His dad is on the board there, apparently. He's now taking a more active role now that he switched from diplomacy to parenthood. He has a new foster daughter. Although I think he's considering adoption.

I understand your closeness with Zoe. Gina is like that with Sue. I don't know if you put it all together, but Sue was a teenager when Liz was adopted. For most of her childhood, Sue was an only child. Because of that, Gina became her surrogate sister. Sue even lived with Gina's family for a while after her father died. Those two have been together since playgroup. Actually, I don't think they were that much older than D and K are now. So that tells you the level of their relationship. There's a lot Gina doesn't know. Unfortunately, what she doesn't know is mostly related to my relationship with Sue.

I don't think Sue ever told her about all of the times we hooked up in the Academy. The first time it happened, even I was shocked. I thought I was really, really gay and then ended up making out with one of my dearest female friends. I didn't quite understand what was happening at the time. Does this surprise you? But we've always been close. It's also only been her. I told you this before, I'm sure I have, but it doesn't hurt to say it again.

I'm still so happy that I was the one who got her pregnant and not the other guy. Not just because I love my daughter so much. The other guy is an absolute piece of shit. I am also happy because it's us together.

Honestly, I thought you would dump me too when I told you about the surprise kid. Who wants to deal with someone else's kid, especially when you already have your own child? I think I cried right before I called you because I was so afraid you were just going to dump me. Even though it was only a few weeks, I still had such strong feelings for you already. I have never felt the way I feel about you about anybody. Sue is the closest, but again that's more friendship, mostly. There may have been some cuddling and orgasms recently. Although not all the way because she's not ready for that. I think Leonard would probably hurt me if he knew how far we have gone.

Thank you for not listening to your friends. I'm sure it came from a good place, but they don't know me. You might want to get different friends if they have such a hard time grasping the concept of bisexuality, pansexuality, grey sexuality, or any other combination that would mean that I can be attracted to men, women, or Gender nonbinary beings. They really need to get over their selves.

I told you I was a mess. I still am, in a lot of ways. I'm sleeping better, at least. So is Sue. We've given up trying to sleep alone about the time she wrote you last. It just doesn't help—too many bad memories. Of course, the fact she doesn't have her own room makes all sorts of rumors circulate. Not that I actually care. There is at least a little truth because we have a kid together. Okay, there's a lot of truth to their speculation. You saw my earlier comments, but we are taking things slowly.

I can't wait to see you. I am so looking forward to a few days together. Although I've already received two emails from my sister regarding wedding planning. She sent us a website. We are being forced to choose a color scheme before December 5. Sue and I sent in our suggestions, but you need to agree. I'm also like 99% sure she's going to try to get Jim or Spock to offer rapid messaging privileges just for wedding planning. I hope both will say no, but I think Sue's mom likes her and might overrule them.

Do you think she'll kill me if I suggest we just do a Risa wedding? I don't want a Risa wedding but something small with just us and the kids. Maybe our friends and family. Our real friends, not the fake ones. No fake ones are allowed. I might have to invite some of the fencing kids. They're very protective. I guess we'll figure it out eventually.

Check my suggestions on the website. Make your own. Okay, maybe I should talk Jim into letting you have rapid messaging for us to work things out. I'm starting to realize planning a wedding from deep in space might be a little difficult.

We're going to have so much to talk about. I don't even know how much time we will get to spend with each other. I'll probably get to spend more time with you and the kids than Jim and Spock because I can take some vacation time, and they can't. Although I just have this feeling that Sue's mom is planning something. I just feel it.

Anyway, I love you and the babies—hugs and kisses from all of us. We will see you soon.

To be continued…