Disclaimer: Cool, cool, cool, cool (you know if you know)
CHAPTER 1
The bullpen is bustling with activity. Jake Peralta and Rosa Diaz are seated at their desks, flipping through files. Jake looks up, smirking.
Jake:You know, Rosa, I bet I could solve one of these cold cases faster than you.
Rosa: (without looking up) That's hilarious. Do you want me to solve it with both hands tied behind my back or just one?
ake:(grinning) Oh, it's on now. First one to solve a cold case gets to assign the loserone humiliating task. I'm talking Boyle-level embarrassing. Think... karaoke night, but the loser has to sing "My Heart Will Go On" in a full tuxedo.
Rosa:(smirking slightly) Fine. But when you lose, you're going to do it while juggling flaming bowling pins.
Jake:Deal. (claps hands) This is going to be legen—wait for it—dary!
Rosa: (deadpan) Don't make me regret agreeing to this.
Jake spins in his chair, grabs a file at random, and holds it up dramatically.
Jake:This case? Practically solved already. It's got Peralta written all over it.
Rosa:(grabbing a different file) This one's better. No handwriting analysis required, no sappy letters, just pure evidence and logic. (she leans closer) I'll have it solved by lunch.
Jake:(mocking) Oh, "lunch." That's cute. (leans back) I'll have mine solved before Terry finishes his morning yogurt.
From across the bullpen,Terrylooks up, holding a large spoon.
Terry: That's not possible. This is triple-layer parfait. It takes time to enjoy!
CHAPTER 2
(In the archives room)
Jake rifles through a stack of boxes, muttering to himself.Charles Boylepeeks in.
Boyle:Jake! What's going on? You've been in here for, like, an hour. Also, do you smell that? It's new paper and a hint of cinnamon.
Jake:(holding up a suspect profile) I'm in the middle of crushing Rosa in a bet. I just need to figure out who this guy's accomplice was, cross-reference it with— (pauses dramatically) Wait a second. Charles, do you see what I see?
Boyle: (excited) A clue?
Jake:No. This guy has theexactsame mustache as Terry had in his high school wrestling photo. That means he's evil. (beat) And maybe it's also a clue.
Boyle nods, thrilled, and starts taking notes in a small journal.
(At the same time - Rosa in the Break room)
Rosa is deep into her file, her brow furrowed.Amy Santiagowalks in, carrying a clipboard.
Amy:Rosa, you look unusually focused. What's up? (noticing the file) Oh my God, is this a cold case? Can I help?
Rosa:(flatly) No.
Amy: (excited) I'll grab my crime scene notes from the Evidence Room. Oh, and I have a checklist we can use to eliminate suspects.
Rosa:Amy. (deadpan) I've never been less interested in anything in my life. Ever.
Amy:(ignoring her) You know what? I'll just observe. Silent partner. Like Watson. Except better at note-taking. And grammar.
Rosa glares at her but doesn't argue. She flips a page and mutters to herself.
Rosa: Gotcha. (to Amy) Victim's ex-husband was seen near the scene two days after the murder.\
Amy:(gasps) Rosa! That's alead! This is so exciting.
Rosa: (mutters) Stop making me regret this.
CHAPTER 3
(Detective Ryan is a made-up character of mines)
Rosa arrives at an old apartment building to investigate her lead. She's greeted byDetective Ryan, a bubbly visiting detective from another precinct who's tagging along on the case.
Detective Ryan:Hi, Rosa! Wow, you have the coolest leather jacket. Does it come in "friendly"?
Rosa: (flatly) No.
Detective Ryan:(grinning) Love it. So, what's the game plan? Stakeout? Interrogate suspects? Eat tacos and brainstorm?
Rosa:(under her breath) This is a nightmare.
The two start canvassing the building, Ryan peppering Rosa with cheerful banter the entire time.
(that night - Bullpen - Precinct)
Jake slams a folder onto his desk triumphantly.
Jake:Boom! I cracked the case. Peralta strikes again.
Terry:(looking skeptical) Did you? Because Rosa hasn't come back yet, and you don't look like you've run intoanyflaming bowling pins.
Jake:Terry, I appreciate your concern for my future embarrassment, but I'm telling you, I nailed it. I even have a suspect in custody.
Terry:Uh-huh. So, where's your confession?
Jake: (pauses) Details, Terry. I'll get it when Rosa gets back... totally defeated.
CHAPTER 4
(Precinct - Interrogation room - Later)
Rosa storms in with Ryan, holding a thick folder.
Rosa:Peralta. I solved it.
Jake:(mock surprise) No way! That's impossible. (looking at her folder) Is that a prop? Are you just trying to psych me out?
Rosa:(deadpan) No. I'm just better than you.
Rosa slaps her folder onto the table. Jake grabs it, scanning through.
Jake: (reading aloud) "Suspect confessed. Evidence matched to DNA." (he looks up, stunned) No. How? When?
Rosa:While you were playing dress-up with Terry's yogurt twin, I wasworking.
Detective Ryan:And by "working," she means scaring the living daylights out of a suspect. She's amazing. Like a hawk. With a badge.
Jake stares, dumbfounded.
Jake: (defeated) Fine. You win. I'll prepare my juggling routine.
CHAPTER 5
(Precinct - Roof - That night)
Rosa is leaning against the railing, looking out over the city. Ryan approaches, holding two cups of coffee.
Detective Ryan:You're hard to keep up with, you know.
Rosa:(taking the coffee) Good.
Detective Ryan:(smiling) I think that's why I like working with you. You don't sugarcoat things.
Rosa:Sugar is for cupcakes. And people who don't get things done.
Ryan laughs, leaning next to her.
Detective Ryan:Well, for what it's worth, you're terrifyingly good at your job. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Rosa smirks, a rare glint of warmth in her eyes.
Rosa:You're not bad yourself. For a talkative weirdo.
There's a moment of quiet between them before Ryan grins.
Detective Ryan:So... tacos to celebrate?
Rosa:(small smile) Fine. But you're paying.
They walk off together as the camera pans out over the city skyline.
END.
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