The BAU team had been in Georgia for the last three days. Their latest case had sent them in search of a spree killer who had been shooting indiscriminately on the streets of Atlanta.
The tension had been high as panic took hold of the city and the media applied the pressure on both the local PD and the FBI to solve the case before it got any worse.
There were 8 people dead. 3 women and 5 men. There was no clear pattern in victimology and no apparent motive for the shootings, leaving the team clutching at straws for a reliable profile. The only consistency was that the shooter used a Glock 17 and would target his victims late at night when the streets were quiet and they were in isolation.
The type of weapon itself had led them down the path of considering law enforcement or military personnel. Aside from this unconfirmed assumption, they had little else to go on, which left them in the unusual position of relying on tips from the public.
To say the local PD were decidedly unimpressed was an understatement. They were not particularly thrilled to have the FBI swooping in to assist in the first place. But when the team had been unable to advance the investigation any further, they had been positively bitter about it.
This was one of the worst cases Hotch could remember in a long time. The pressure to provide results was immense. Strauss had been on the phone regularly checking in for updates. The media had been critical of their involvement and the reputation of the BAU was seemingly on the line.
In the vain hope that someone may have some usable information, the local PD reached out to the public, stepping over Hotch in the process.
The phones had been ringing non-stop since the appeal had been made. Only a handful had produced a potentially interesting lead.
The most interesting of those leads was from a landlady who reported that one of her tenants had been uncharacteristically leaving his apartment every evening for the last few days. And one evening she could have sworn she saw a gun in his hand.
Normally, such a report wouldn't have garnered this much attention, but the woman reported her tenant was an ex-police officer who had recently lost his job. She had barely seen him for the last 2 months and the sudden change in his routine had piqued her curiosity.
Upon hearing this about this tip, Morgan had offered to visit the woman and see if there was any information that may be of use to them. Reid had nodded in agreement and offered to go with him.
This is how they found themselves stood in the landlady's apartment, completely unarmed with a gun pointed at them.
"Okay Glen, you don't want to do this, man." Morgan said calmly, a hint of nerves in his tone, his hands help up in a gesture of peace. He glanced down to the semi-conscious landlady on the floor. "How about you let Sheila go? She did what you wanted. She got us here. Let her go and we can talk."
Glen glanced to the woman on the floor and then to the two agent's guns on the table to the side of him.
He smiled and laughed, his demeanour was edgy. Like he couldn't actually believe his plan had worked. He'd successfully managed to disarm two FBI agents using the woman's life as a bargaining chip. When they'd slid their weapons across the floor to him, he'd been filled with such a sense of power and satisfaction it almost made his head spin. Now they were stood holding their hands up, completely at his mercy.
"I don't think so, Agent." He man shook his head, pointing his gun at Morgan. "No one is going to forget me. Not after I kill two FBI agents."
Reid stepped a little closer. "Is that what the police did to you? Forget you?"
The man swung the weapon in Reid's direction. Reid's hands twitched a little as he innocently held them in front of him.
"They had no idea what they had. But now they will know." Glen's hand shook as his anger began to build.
"So that's what this is about?" Morgan asked in frustration. "Your ego?"
Reid shot a quick glance to Morgan as the weapon moved back in his direction.
"They will know, Glen. They already know. You outsmarted them all. 'Georgia's Son of Sam' they are calling you. Not even the FBI could figure out who you were." Reid said quickly, playing to the man's self-esteem.
"I will show them that I won't be forgotten. They had no right to fire me!"
Morgan quirked an eyebrow at the man. "Yeah, I don't think shooting members of the public is quite the defend and protect attitude they were looking for." Morgan said dryly.
"Morgan." Reid warned with a glance to his colleague.
"You've got a really smart mouth for a dead man." Glen said, taking a step towards Morgan.
Reid's eyes flitted between the two of them and he took a step in front of Morgan.
"Reid! What the hell are you doing?!" Morgan asked, seemingly in panic.
Glen's eyebrows raised, he hadn't expected this manoeuvre from the younger agent.
"Glen. I know you think that the only way forward is to go out in a blaze of glory. But I'm telling you, it's not."
The man shakily pointed the gun at Reid's face. Reid closed his eyes for a moment taking a deep breath
"What the hell would you know?!" Glen asked angrily. The man was clearly unstable. He wasn't quite the calculated and intelligent unsub that their standard profile would assume.
"Actually, I have quite an extensive knowledge on the subject. Solo shooters like yourself are exceedingly rare. Especially with such a high victim count. 95% are caught within the first two kills. Another 4.96% are caught by the third victim. You have a total of eight. You are in the 0.4% across the entire world who has managed to evade law enforcement for long enough to make a name for yourself." Reid said calmly watching the man's reaction carefully.
Glen raised his eyebrows in intrigue.
"And that's what you want, isn't it? To make a name for yourself? To be famous? For all your old colleagues to know that you, Glen Pearson, the man they deemed not good enough to be part of the force, outsmarted them, showed them how stupid they are."
Glen began to nod, a smile creeping back onto his lips. "How many of that 0.4% killed two FBI agents?"
"You don't want to do that, Glen." Morgan said firmly.
"Oh yeah? And why not?"
Reid's eyes landed on Sheila on the floor, she was now sat up and shaking in fear, staring at the two agents with her hands to her mouth.
"Because I can help you!" Reid said quickly. "I can help you make a name for yourself. I can make sure your name is known across the world. Your methods, your techniques. I can make that happen for you, Glen."
Glen looked at him skeptically, gun still pointed at the young agent's face.
"I'm a Doctor. PHD." Reid continued to explain. "I am a respected and published researcher specialising in Criminal Behaviour. My team interviews men like you. How do you think we know all about Bundy, Dahmer, John Wayne Gacey? It's because of researchers like me and my team who have worked with them, to understand them-"
"I'm nothing like them. There is no one like me." Glen said, full of confidence.
"I believe you. I do. But if you kill us, the world will never know. The FBI will cover it up and make sure your name is forgotten. They won't want the embarrassment. You will just be another angry cop who snapped after being fired."
Morgan was anxiously watching the gun man contemplating Reid's words. Reid was stood mostly in front of him, redirecting the man's attention away from him. He knew why. He just needed to bide his time for Reid to make his move.
The man's brows furrowed for a moment.
"How do I know I can trust you?" He said skeptically. "You're probably playing me right now."
"No, Glen. You have all the power here. You have our weapons, you have our full attention. You've outsmarted us too. Right, Morgan?" Reid said, taking a quick, nervous glance over his shoulder.
Morgan nodded in agreement.
"He's right, man. As much as I hate to admit it, you got us good."
"I'm going to remove my vest." Reid said gingerly, reaching to the velcro straps on his shoulders.
"No, Reid!" Morgan said frantically, his gaze jumping between the pair.
Glen tilted his head, laughing a little as he saw the panic in Morgan's features.
"And why would you do that?"
"As a gesture of good faith. Faith that we both want the same thing from this. I want to learn about your methods, how you evaded capture, how you became one of the most prolific serial shooters in the world."
Reid was really stretching the truth at this point, but his skills of deduction told him that the man in front of him had no idea where he ranked in the realms of serial shooters, but his ego would drag him into believing his own press.
"And you, you want to be famous. Together, we can make that happen."
Reid finally pulled his vest off and dropped it to the floor. His heart was pounding in his chest as the trajectory of Glen's gun trailed up and down his torso, seemingly taking pleasure in all the fresh targets that had suddenly presented themselves.
The man's gun was then suddenly pointing past Reid, over his shoulder to Morgan's face.
"If you're going to help me, then I guess I don't need him."
"You kill him then the deal's off!" Reid said quickly and forcefully. His tone held an edge of panic. "I let you rot in a jail cell for the rest of your life and no one will ever know your name."
Glen's face twitched at that. Everything in him was itching to shoot the two agents. But the egotistical side, the one that had driven the killings in the first place was rationalising with him. Being able to rub his old colleague's noses in his ability to outwit them felt like too good an opportunity to miss.
Reid took another step in front of Morgan, blocking the man's view of him.
"Let's just talk. You and I? Okay?" Reid said calmly. Then he felt what he was waiting for. There was a split-second pressure on his back then the weight he had been holding in the waist line of his pants was gone.
Suddenly he lunged for the man's weapon knocking it sideways and redirecting the barrel towards an external wall. The next second a shot rang out and a body dropped to the floor.
Morgan stood, holding the gun he had retrieved from Reid's waistband. His bullet had met its mark, right in the forehead of Glen Pearson. The man's body slumped uselessly down to the floor.
Reid stood looking down at the man's body, his mouth slightly open as he took some deep breaths trying to slow his heart rate.
"You okay, kid?" Morgan asked, as he lowered the weapon.
"Yeah." Reid breathed out.
Morgan moved straight over to Sheila to comfort the distraught woman as Reid ordered medics and the coroner over the radio. The next moment his phone was ringing.
He looked to the caller ID. It was Hotch.
"Aaron." Reid answered, still slightly breathless.
"What happened? You ordered medics? Is everything okay?" Hotch's worried voice boomed down the phone.
"Yeah, it's over. We got him." Reid said with a slight smile over to Morgan and Sheila on the floor.
"Are you alright?" The worry in Hotch's voice always made Reid's chest flutter. He broke out into a large smile. He loved it when Hotch worried about him. It was the sole reason he had that spare gun after all. After Reid had been disarmed during a previous takedown and pistol whipped by an unsub, he had insisted that he carry a concealed weapon, 'just in case'. When Reid heard that familiar tone of voice, he knew it ran so much deeper than a boss being worried about his subordinate. He was Aaron's. And Aaron wanted to know that he was okay.
"I'm fine, Aaron. Absolutely fine. Morgan is fine too. We're all okay."
Things had been perfect since the 'blip' on their anniversary. Hotch had apologised desperately the next morning, making Reid a special breakfast of bacon and pancakes. He'd lavished him with small gifts every day for a week and taken the time in bed to make sure that Reid knew that his pleasure and enjoyment was just as important as his own.
At first, Reid had been overwhelmed and found it incredibly difficult to ignore the feeling that crawled under his skin every time his partner touched him. But after a few days of apologies and explanations about what a stressful week Aaron was dealing with, Reid could only forgive and move forward. After all, it wasn't like he'd raped him. He did say yes, and it wasn't the first time Aaron had been rough in bed. It was part of their play routine for Aaron to be domineering and for Spencer to be submissive. That night was just a misjudgement on Aaron's part due to too much alcohol and stress. Seeing Aaron so desperately apologetic and pathetically disappointed in himself was too much for Reid to cope with. He just wanted his confident and assertive partner back.
After a week they were fully back to their usual routine, enjoying each other's company and Aaron taking complete control in the bedroom, using Reid's body just the way they both liked.
"I'm on my way." Hotch's firm voice came down the phone.
"Okay, Aaron. See you soon." Reid smiled again. "Love you." He whispered for only his partner to hear.
"You too." Hotch said quickly and quietly, then ended the call.
Reid could just imagine the blush on his partner's cheeks at that moment. Hotch was exceedingly private when it came to their relationship at work. In fact, they both were. No one would ever know they were a couple from the outside looking in. But it didn't stop Reid throwing in the odd small gesture here and there. It made it all the more fun to hide in plain sight sometimes.
Reid turned to Morgan. "Hotch is on his way." Reid informed as the sound of sirens could be heard coming up the street.
Soon the room was flooded with police, medics, crime scene investigators and the coroner.
Morgan finally approached Reid and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Nice work, Pretty Boy. You had me worried for a minute, taking that vest off."
"He needed to see that I trusted him. And I needed you clear to grab the gun."
"I know, kid. I know you were in control of the situation. You did great. But man, it didn't half scare me." He pulled Reid into a hug.
Reid smiled and returned the hug gladly. Morgan put a hand to the back of his head in a protective gesture and squeezed him tightly.
"Why aren't you wearing your vest?" A firm voice cut through the moment of brotherly bonding and Morgan and Reid separated.
"It was part of the plan, so Morgan could get to my concealed carry."
"You shouldn't be taking your vest off in the field, Reid. I've told you this before."
Morgan gave a smirk to Reid and ruffled his hair slightly. "Busted, kid."
Reid jokingly frowned at him and gave him a small shove.
Reid reassured his partner that all was okay. He and Morgan walked him through exactly what happened, the scene was cleared and soon the BAU were on their way home.
The flight home was uneventful. The team were incredibly tired and most of them took the opportunity to catch up on sleep. Reid had snuggled down next to Hotch for the majority of the flight, his head resting on his shoulder for comfort as he often did after a tough case.
But Hotch could find no rest. The stress from this case, the pressure to find the unsub and the judgemental eyes that had been following the team for the last few days left him tense. He couldn't be proud of how the BAU had handled this case. It was sheer luck and the fact that the local PD had hidden a press conference looking for tips that had led to the unsub's downfall. In reality, the BAU added little to the case. It was a rare situation, but this time the local PD probably could have done it without them.
He knew there would be questions, accusations. And he really didn't have the energy for them.
Reid made a small moaning sound in his sleep and he glanced at the young man leaning against him. Hotch's jaw tightened.
To add insult to injury, Reid had put himself in the line of fire, intentionally doing something Hotch had explicitly told him never to do. He'd ignored his instructions and to make it even worse he'd walked in to Morgan almost encouraging the behaviour.
He looked at Morgan and his expression darkened. He hated the way that Morgan had such an influence on Spencer. He knew they had a deep understanding of each other, one that required no words. He'd seen it play out in multiple cases now. They could read and anticipate each other's moves as if they were one person at times. And the fact that Morgan would have seen Spencer's self-sacrificing manoeuvre coming and did nothing to stop it angered him no end. What right did he have to encourage such behaviour? And what right did he have to pull Spencer into such an intimate hug? To protect him? To touch his hair? To feel his body up against him? That was his place, not Morgan's. And why did Spencer look so damn comfortable with it? Like he enjoyed the attention. Like he enjoyed the feel of Morgan. He was forgetting his loyalties, his relationship. Spencer was forgetting him. Just because he couldn't hug and touch Spencer, it didn't mean that he was any less his when they were at work.
Hotch's fist clenched around his pen.
"You alright, Aaron?" Rossi's voice broke him out of his thoughts.
Hotch's grip on the pen loosened instantly and his gaze shot to the man opposite, who was looking at him curiously.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Dave." Hotch answered coolly.
"This was a tough one, wasn't it?"
Hotch's brows furrowed. "It didn't go as I had hoped." He said diplomatically.
"We're only human, Aaron. We can only work with the information we have in front of us." Rossi reassured.
"I know, Dave. But tell that to Strauss." Hotch said darkly.
"Strauss can wait 'til Monday. Take the weekend and relax. You and the kid do something nice together. You need it." Rossi looked at him pointedly. This was not a gentle suggestion. It was almost an order. He knew the question of what they had done together would come up on Monday. "You need to take some time for yourself too, Aaron." Rossi further drove the point home.
Hotch smiled despite himself and nodded.
"Okay, Dave. Okay, I will."
Reid was in the bathroom drying himself after a shower. He had been desperate for a refresh before putting on his bed clothes. The last few days had been mentally exhausting.
The lack of pattern in the unsub's MO had driven him nearly insane. He'd run so many algorithms, explored so many theories, examined mountains of evidence in the vain hope that his eyes would spot something that would piece everything together. But that moment never came. He had been disappointed in himself. He often felt his most important role on the team was to spot things that others couldn't. And when he couldn't do that, he felt like he wasn't doing his job. It was an unreasonable and illogical pressure that he placed on himself, but one that drove him to excel. The downside was it also drove him into the ground on occasion, and this was one such occasion. When other members of the team had been sleeping, he'd been working solidly into the early hours determined to find something that would make it all make sense.
He looked in the mirror and could see dark circles under his eyes. He sighed. At least he was home now. It was weekend and with some luck the weekend would remain clear and he could catch up on some rest.
He emerged from the bathroom and put on his comfortable flannel pants, a loose-fitting t-shirt and fluffy mis-matched socks. He gave his hair one final squeeze with the towel so it wasn't dripping with water and headed downstairs, feeling much fresher and ready to relax with the love of his life for the evening.
On the plus side, the case had brought them home relatively early. It was only 7pm, leaving plenty of time for a film, a takeaway and lots of couch snuggles.
Reid smiled as he thought about a cosy evening in with Aaron. He knew they both needed it. He'd seen the stress in his partner the last couple of days and the pressure that had been on him. He wanted nothing more than to melt those stresses away and remind him of how much he loves him.
Reid entered the living room and found Hotch sat on the couch, still fully dressed in his suit. Sighing a little, Reid moved behind the couch and put his hands on his partner's shoulders.
"Aaron." He cooed, leaning over into his ear. "Why don't you take your suit off and get comfortable?" He kissed his ear softly. "You need to relax, it's been a long week." He reached around and started loosening his lover's tie.
Hotch instantly grabbed his hands and pushed them away.
"I will." He said coolly.
Reid's brows furrowed and he stood up a little. Hotch leaned forward and Reid caught sight of a bottle of whiskey and a half full glass on the table.
Ice clenched his chest and a lump swelled up in his throat. He tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't move.
"You're – you're drinking scotch?" He asked, his voice faltering a little.
"Your observational skills are on top form. Shame the same couldn't be said during this case." Aaron said dryly.
Reid's eyebrows raised a little. The comment stung. He was already putting himself through the wringer for not finding something useful.
Reid found himself moving around the couch and sitting down next to his lover.
"Are you alright, Aaron?" He watched carefully as Hotch threw back a few mouthfuls of whiskey, pulling a face as he did. "I thought we could watch a film and relax tonight. I know it's been a stressful week for you."
Hotch huffed a slight laugh and leaned forward to top up his glass. Reid quickly placed a hand over it.
Hotch's hard gaze instantly landed on his younger partner.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked darkly.
"I don't think alcohol is the best way to relax. It doesn't really help. It might feel like it helps temporarily, but believe me, it doesn't make the stress go away." Reid said gently.
Hotch frowned at him.
"It's just a bit of scotch, Spencer. I'm not shooting up like some junkie."
Reid's eyes stung a little with tears and he blinked them away. The words were like a punch in the gut.
"Okay." Reid said quietly. He stood from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, feeling utterly ashamed and embarrassed. He turned on the coffee machine and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He stood staring at the pot in front of him as the machine hummed away, heating up the dark liquid.
He felt completely alone. When Aaron was like this, he was hard work. And he hated to admit, the scotch was making him nervous. He'd sworn to himself that he would forget what happened, but the memories of being restrained on the bed as his partner forcefully made use of his mouth flooded in. He shuddered.
That wouldn't happen again. It couldn't. Aaron had sworn he would never do that to him again. He had been devastated.
Reid took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. He was just being stupid and overly emotional. He was already treating Aaron as if he had done something wrong and it wasn't fair. He'd had a tough week and probably just needed to let off some steam. He could understand that. Aaron really didn't need his judgement right now.
Suddenly, a hand slammed down on the counter next to him, making him jump slightly.
He quickly turned to find Hotch staring at him. His mouth dropped open slightly and he gazed at him inquisitively.
He felt Hotch's hand running up his spine. It crawled up to his neck and landed in the back of his hair, pulling his head back slightly.
Reid gasped lightly, then Hotch's lips were on him. His tongue invaded his mouth. He found himself spun round and pressed against the counter as Hotch kissed him passionately. He moaned and responded, melting into his partner's touch.
Hotch pushed a knee between his legs and ground himself up against Reid's groin. The younger man whimpered and Hotch's hand tightened in his hair, pulling his head back further to allow him access to his partner's neck.
A long breathy moan left Reid's lips as Hotch kissed, licked and nipped at his ear and neck. Shivers ran down his body as Hotch played with the sensitive skin there.
"I love you so much." Reid whispered through another shuddering gasp.
"Do you?" Hotch asked through the kisses.
"I do. So, so much." Reid moaned and Hotch moved down, kissing into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Reid could feel himself getting hard. He loved when Hotch messed with his neck. He could keep him on the edge with it for hours.
"If you love me..." Hotch worked his way back up his neck towards his ear. "Why don't you listen to me?"
Reid's brows furrowed slightly and his hands moved to his partner's chest.
"Wh-what?" He asked shakily as Hotch took his ear into his mouth.
"Why don't you listen to me?" Hotch whispered more forcefully now. Reid could feel his partner's hand tightening on his t-shirt.
"I always listen to you, Aaron." Reid whispered back, his head rolling to the side as Hotch nipped at his ear. His legs were positively like jelly now.
Hotch harshly pulled away and aggressively took Reid's chin into his hand. His other hand tightened painfully in his hair. Reid unsuccessfully tried to suppress a wince.
"You took your vest off." Hotch's eyes were hard and angry now.
Reid looked at him unsurely. He wasn't sure if this was part of some dom/sub game they were playing where Reid was going to be 'punished' for disobeying orders or if Aaron's anger was genuine.
"I'm sorry, Sir." Reid said, licking his lips, choosing to play along.
"You're sorry, are you?" Hotch said darkly, moving his lips back towards Reid's ear. "What if you'd been killed?"
"It won't happen again, Sir." Reid breathed out as Hotch lapped at his ear again.
"You deserve to be punished." Aaron's firm voice filled Reid with excitement. A shudder ran down his body.
"Yes, Sir." He moaned. Suddenly he found Hotch's hands in his t-shirt and he was violently pulled away from the counter and slammed into the opposite wall. His head bounced off the plaster and he cried out slightly in surprise.
"Ow." He said quietly. A little warning to Hotch that would usually tell the man he was being a bit too rough.
"Did that hurt?" He asked, pushing his face back into Reid's neck.
"A little." Reid breathed out as he gasped once again.
Hotch then pulled away, pressing his hands into Reid's shoulders, pinning him against the wall.
"And how do you think I felt, walking in to find you all over Derek when I arrived at the house?"
Reid's mouth dropped open.
"Wh-what? I wasn't." Reid didn't know how to react to this. Other people were not normally brought into their 'playtime'.
Hotch's expression darkened and he painfully pressed Reid further into the wall.
"Yes, you were. He had his hand in your hair and your body was right up against him. How do you think that made me feel, Spencer?"
Coldness crept back into Reid's chest.
"I'm sorry, Sir." He said unsurely. He wasn't sure what his lover wanted from him right now.
"Don't do that." Hotch snapped. "I'm being serious."
Reid licked his lips nervously. His usual play response was obviously the wrong one. Aaron wasn't playing.
"It- it was just a hug. Morgan was just giving me a hug because he was glad I was safe."
"And you think that's okay, do you?"
Reid frowned and looked at Aaron in confusion.
"It was just a friendly hug. He's like my brother."
"But he's not your brother. Is he?" Hotch said dangerously.
Reid looked at Hotch worriedly. "Aaron, what is this?" He asked, trying to loosen the man's grip on his shoulders. His heart rate was picking up now. The expression on Aaron's features was eerily similar to their anniversary night and it made Reid's blood run cold.
Hotch shook him harshly, banging his head off the wall.
"It's you, once again showing me up and behaving like a whore."
Reid swallowed. Now it was just like their anniversary.
"Just because I don't touch you at work, doesn't mean you have the right to go throwing yourself at Derek. He must think you are so easy."
Reid's mouth dropped open again in shock and his cheeks flushed.
"It's- it's not like that." He stuttered. "We're just friends."
Suddenly Hotch's fist collided with the plaster next to Reid's face. He started in fear and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Don't lie to me!" Hotch snarled.
"I'm not!" Reid cried out desperately. He was genuinely scared now. His hands shook with fear.
"How the hell am I supposed to trust you if you blatantly lie to my face?!" Hotch was furious now.
He pulled Reid from the wall, grabbing him by the throat, pulling his face close to his.
"I've seen you." He sneered. "Pushing yourself up against him, wrapping your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder. I've seen the way he looks at you. You think I don't notice?"
"Aaron, please." Reid choked out, his voice tight from the hand around his throat. Tears broke free from his eyes now.
"Please?" Hotch scoffed. "How about please listen to me when I tell you to do something, huh?" He dragged Reid out of the kitchen and practically threw him into the living room.
Reid tripped up over his feet and only just managed to catch himself before he hit the coffee table. His hand went to his throat where the imprint of Hotch's steely fingers had been left.
"I'm sorry!" He cried out automatically. He whirled round and took a few steps back as Hotch advanced on him again.
"Stand up like a man!" Hotch ordered, looking at him in disgust.
Reid's eyes flashed with hurt, but he obeyed the order, trying to keep his limbs as still as he possibly could, fighting the involuntary tremor that was running through them.
Hotch looked him up and down. "Look at you." He snarled and scoffed. "Taking your vest off... for what? To impress him? You really think you can handle yourself? You can't even look at me right now without nearly pissing your pants."
Reid bit his lip.
"Now your fucking lip is quivering." Hotch shook his head with dark amusement. "And you think you can just take your vest off like you're invincible? Glen Pearson must have laughed his head off at that one." He spat cruelly.
The man's face flashed into Reid's memory. There was a slight look of bemusement when he did it. Reid's cheeks flushed even further.
"And then there's fucking Derek encouraging you?" Hotch grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him close.
Reid moved stiffly and awkwardly. His limbs were frozen in fight or flight.
"He probably sees it all as one big joke. 'Let's see what I can get the skinny kid to do now'."
Reid furrowed his brows and frowned. He went to speak but he was silenced by a controlling finger to his lips.
"When are you going to learn that only I really care about you? I'm the only one who will truly protect you and keep you safe from your own recklessness?"
A tear slipped down Reid's cheek as he looked at the love of his life. He pulled his face away from Aaron's finger and turned his head.
"That's not true." He said quietly. "Derek cares about me. The team cares about me. And I'm not reckless." He said firmly. It had taken a long time for Reid to feel accepted and worthy of being part of the team. He wasn't going to fall backwards that easily. "I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, just like everyone else on the team."
Reid took a step back and Hotch's eyes flashed with anger.
"I have proven myself time and time again." Reid's eyes now met his partner's. His gaze was steady and unimpressed. "And you know it. I'm not going to let you tear me apart just because you've had a bad week." Reid stared at him for a few moments longer. Hotch stared back, his features twitched slightly showing that the words had landed, but he didn't respond. He seemed to have been silenced.
Taking a deep breath, Reid sighed and turned, heading towards the door.
"Where the hell do you think you are going?" Hotch snapped.
"Upstairs. I just need some time alone." Reid said without looking.
The next second the side of his face was slammed into the door frame. Pain shot through his cheek bone and he groaned in shock.
Hotch had him by the back of his head again and his arm was held behind him.
"Don't you fucking walk away from me when I'm trying to talk some sense into you. I'm trying to keep you fucking safe and this is how you repay me for caring?"
Reid winced as Hotch twisted his arm further up his back.
"Ow, ow, okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to disregard you. Please, we'll talk, let's talk."
Hotch leaned in towards his ear", keeping his face painfully pressed into the corner of the doorframe.
"What? Now you have decided you feel like discussing it?" He twisted his arm further, wrenching a cry out from his young lover. "That's very kind of you. What the hell do you think I am, Spencer? A puppet you can pick up and drop whenever you feel like it? Do you think I will just dance to your tune whenever you feel like it?" He hissed. Hotch pulled his head back. "I can't believe I let you control me like this."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Reid said quickly, feeling the tension in the room becoming unbearable. He was filled with guilt, shame, embarrassment and fear. "I don't want to control you, I'm sorry."
"I can't just switch off my feelings like you can, Spencer. I know my feelings aren't always convenient for you, but sometimes I just need my partner to listen to me. To care about how I feel."
"I know, I know that. I'm so sorry. You're right." He gasped and shifted trying to loosen his partner's grip. "Please, Aaron."
Hotch tightened his grip for a brief moment, then let go, taking a step back.
Reid instantly pushed himself away from the doorframe and rubbed his now aching arm. He looked at his lover through guarded eyes.
Hotch dropped his gaze sadly and turned away from Reid.
"Sometimes I just feel like you don't love me. I mean, who would? I'm a fucking mess. Look at me." He moved to the couch and collapsed down, pouring another glass of scotch as he did.
"Don't say that. That's not true at all." Reid shook his head, still rubbing his arm.
Hotch began to laugh and tears broke out from his eyes. "Yeah, okay. I'm sure you'd rather be with someone like Morgan. Someone who doesn't need or depend on you as much as I do."
Reid instantly found himself moving towards his lover, sympathy flooding through his veins. How did he not see what a mess the love of his life's head was in? He kicked himself for missing it. He sat down next to him, stroking Hotch's back as the man cried into his hands.
"Aaron, please, don't cry." Reid rested his forehead onto his partner's shoulder. "I love you so much. I never meant to make you feel like you aren't important to me and that I don't respect you. That's the last thing I would ever want to do. You're everything to me."
Hotch broke down further and shook his head.
"It's true." Reid said, putting a hand to Aaron's chin.
Any fear had now been quashed by the overwhelming urge to make Aaron feel better. To make everything better. He turned Aaron's head to look him in the eyes.
"I swear to you. You are my world and I- I don't know exactly what's going on or how you are feeling, but it's clear I've missed that you are suffering and I'm so sorry for that. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you or make anything worse."
"Do you mean that?" Hotch asked shakily.
Reid nodded eagerly. "Yes, Aaron! You are the last person in the world I would want to hurt. And I'm so sorry if I did."
"I just wish sometimes you would think about me, like I think about you. I can't lose you. And then I see you with Derek and I feel like I am. After losing Haley, to lose you, god Spencer, it would kill me. That's why I want to protect you and keep you safe. And someone like Derek doesn't get that. He sees it all as a big joke. Sees you as a joke to have some fun with. And you don't even see it."
Reid blinked at that, once again feeling hurt by the words. He didn't think that Morgan was just using him as a form of amusement. But really, who was he to know? Everyone knew his social skills were lacking. No one knew that better than Hotch. He warned him about it all the time. The number of times Aaron had to point out people making fun of him or coming on to him was embarrassing. Morgan could easily make him the butt of the joke and it was highly possible that he wouldn't even realise with someone else highlighting it to him.
"I'm sorry, Aaron." Reid shifted closer to him, giving him the puppy dog eyes that he knew Hotch loved. "I screw up a lot, I know. But please know, you are always and will always be my number one priority." He said, nuzzling the side of his face into the man's shoulder for good measure.
Hotch nodded, pulling his gaze away from his younger lover. He wiped his eyes then stood, moving to look out of the window.
"I just don't know why you do things like this to me, Spencer. When all I do is love you and worry about you."
Reid's gaze dropped to the floor. "I don't mean to."
"You're so busy trying to prove yourself to him and to everyone else, you don't even think about the person you're supposed to love and what it does to me when I hear about it."
Reid wrung his hands together now. The guilt crashed over him. He had been reckless. Hotch had told him never to take his vest off. He knew how much Hotch worried about losing him. But he'd done it anyway. He'd stupidly put his life on the line, knowing that it would devastate his partner if he learned of it. What kind of person does that?
"You're so right, Aaron. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think." He stood, moving to the man he loved. He cautiously put a hand to his arm and stroked. "I promise I will work on it. No more stupid plans with Morgan. No more hugs... I don't need them anyway, I just do them because he seems to like them..." He crept his arm around Aaron's waist. "They're nothing like your hugs. I live for your hugs." He said softly, with a small smile on his face, trying to win his still sulking partner round.
At this, Hotch turned around and took Reid by the face.
"And this?" He said, leaning in to take Reid into a gentle kiss.
Reid's eyes fluttered closed as relief swept through him.
"No one could ever compare." Reid whispered as Hotch pulled away.
He felt Hotch's hands tense up on his face.
"And what does that mean?" Hotch asked dangerously.
Reid's eyes shot open at the tone of his voice. He floundered for words as he realised he must have said the wrong thing again. But for the life of him he couldn't think what was wrong with it.
"Have you done this with someone else?"
Reid's mouth dropped open in shock. "What? No!"
"You said 'compare'." Hotch said firmly.
'It's- it's just a figure of speech!" Reid stuttered.
Hands were then back in his t-shirt and he was being swung around and launched towards the bookcase in the corner of the room. His back hit it hard, knocking the air out of his lungs. He groaned and coughed as he tried to regain his breath. He barely got a chance before Hotch's hand was around his throat and straightening him up. Reid's hands went defensively to the man's shoulders trying to keep him at a distance.
"Why do you keep lying to me?!" Hotch snarled in his face.
He wrenched Reid forward and then shoved him back into the bookcase again. Reid's back hit the shelves hard and he winced and cried out.
"Ow, Aaron, please, you're hurting me."
"Really? Well now you know how it fucking feels!" Hotch was shouting now. He pulled him forward and shoved him back two more times. Each time more vicious than the last. Tears were now running down Reid's face.
"Aaron, please, stop!" Reid gasped as his spine twinged in pain. It was sure to be badly bruised tomorrow.
He did stop. Instead, he grabbed him by the hair again and yanked his head back.
"You want to 'compare' me to others, Spencer?" He stepped close to his young partner, pressing his body up against him.
"No. I said no one could compare. No one!"
"You're damn right about that." Hotch said, taking Reid into a bruising kiss, forcing his tongue into this trembling lover's mouth.
Reid's hands pushed back against Hotch as he struggled to breathe from the angle his head was at and Hotch possessing his mouth completely.
Hotch bit his lip and Reid was sure he'd drawn blood. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to calm down enough to breathe through his nose so he wasn't light headed.
Hotch's hand then travelled down to Reid's groin and squeezed then started working on his belt.
Reid started shaking his head. He didn't want to do this now. Not with Aaron in this mood. If he was honest, he was scared and really didn't want Aaron in control of his body. He was hurting, uncomfortable and just wanted to go to bed and start afresh in the morning.
"No." Reid managed to breathe out between frantic kisses.
Hotch froze instantly and pulled away from the kiss. He eyed Reid carefully. His hand rested at the waistband of Reid's boxers, the other was still wrapped in his long, messy hair.
"No?" He asked dangerously.
Reid looked at him through pleading eyes. "Please, not now, Aaron. I can't right now."
Hotch stared at him for a few moments longer, almost searchingly. Then Reid found himself yanked away from the bookcase and his jaw exploded in pain. His head was knocked sideways violently. He managed to stay on his feet but his hand instantly went to protect himself. Realisation came over him like a tsunami. He looked at his lover in shock.
Aaron had just hit him.
Reid's mouth hung open in shock as his hand held his aching jaw. His eyes stung with tears.
Hotch partly returned the look of shock for a few seconds. Then his face dropped into an irritated mask again.
"You- you just hit me." Reid said, stumbling back, looking at his lover's still clenched fist.
Hitting was always out of bounds. Even during their 'playtime'. Aaron could sometimes shove him against things or manhandle him around the room. That was part of their agreement, within limits. But hitting, especially in the face was never okay.
"You want to be a 'man', don't you?" Hotch asked, stepping towards him. "To play in the FBI big leagues with men like me and Morgan? You'll have to be able to take a lot more than that, Spencer." Aaron almost laughed. It was a sickening sound, filled with disgust and hatred.
A tear ran down his cheek. He didn't know who the man in front of him was right now, but it wasn't the man he loved.
"You're not a woman, are you, Spencer?" Hotch tilted his head.
"No." Reid snapped back, his brows furrowing in upset and anger.
"What do you think Derek would say if he knew you couldn't even handle one small hit without crying like a woman? Do you think he'd be impressed?"
Reid dropped his hand from his jaw, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.
Hotch advanced on him again but Reid stood his ground. Suddenly feeling the desperate need to prove himself. To prove he wasn't weak. That he could take a punch like a man.
"Shall I tell him? That the man who took his vest off today in front of an armed unsub cried like a little bitch with one tap to the face?"
Reid's jaw tightened and his fists clenched. There was only so much more of this he could take.
"He would be more angry that you hit me." Reid spat, now feeling his anger building.
"Oh yeah." Hotch laughed madly to himself, then started pacing. "Because he's your protector, isn't he? Not me! Not your boyfriend of over a year. But your 'brother'." He gestured speech marks with his fingers. "Your brother who wants to fuck you, Spencer. And you're so stupid that you can't even see it. He doesn't respect you! I mean, come on, look at you! He wants to fuck you-"
"Just stop!" Reid shouted in pure frustration.
Reid's anger over boiled and he found himself shoving Hotch backwards towards the couch. With the whiskey in his system, he lost his footing and ended up landing on the couch.
Hotch stayed worryingly still for a moment as he took in what had just happened. Reid stared at him, hands shaking and mouth open in shock.
"So, that's how it is?" Hotch said in a disturbingly calm voice, not looking at his trembling lover.
He stood up slowly. He was worryingly calm now. It was a kind of icy calm. A calm before the storm. A deep breath before the plunge. It chilled Reid to the core.
"I'm sorry." He breathed out, his tongue almost unable to form the words from the fear of what was about to come from his eerily calm lover.
Hotch approached him slowly and deliberately, not looking him in the eye. He kept his gaze low and contemplative.
Reid held his ground despite every muscle of his body urging him to just run up the stairs and lock himself in the bedroom. He'd never been scared of Hotch to this extent before, and he hated it. He knew he was to blame. He should have seen how much he'd been struggling. And how much his own behaviour had been hurting the man he loved. If he had, they wouldn't be here now. People could only take so much before they snapped. And he'd obviously been pushing Aaron for some time. But it didn't make it any less scary. Even if he did deserve it.
"I see how it is now, Reid." The use of his surname didn't go unnoticed. The young man flinched at it. He never used his surname when they were alone. Even at work. "You can ignore me, disregard my feelings, make a mockery of the things I worry about-"
"I didn't-"
Hotch's hand came up and backhanded Reid square across the face. His ring cut into his eyebrow. Reid's face once again flew sideways and he gasped.
"The fact that I care about you. The fact that I don't want to lose you. It's all a joke to you."
Reid bit his lip, desperate to tell Aaron that wasn't true and he had it all wrong, but he was too nervous to speak again.
"But Derek. I mention Derek in anything less than a worshipping tone and you shove me across my own living room?"
Reid couldn't hold it in.
"No, Aaron-"
This time a fist met his face and he was knocked backwards into the coffee table. He tripped over it in disorientation and landed hard on his side with a thud. He cried now.
"Aaron, please, it's not like that at all." He couldn't help the sobs that were beginning to build up in his chest.
"I've been so fucking stupid." Hotch said with a shake of the head. "I should have seen what was going on between you two a long time ago. But I trusted you, Spencer. Trusted you. And this is how you repay me?"
Reid broke out into sobs now. "I haven't done anything."
"Haven't done-" Hotch stopped himself from repeating the words as if they were too absurd to even make sense. "I can't believe you right now."
Reid just stared at his lover dumbfounded. His whole body was trembling. He was already exhausted from the case and the late nights he'd pulled trying to find some semblance of a pattern. But now he was totally drained. He wasn't sure how much more of this back and forth he could take. Aaron's mind was completely compromised. He couldn't see anything other than anger and betrayal.
Reid flinched back as two hands suddenly grabbed him by the t-shirt again and pulled him up to his feet. Hotch's face was mere inches away from his.
"Tell me straight, Spencer." He shook him harshly. "And look me in the eye!" He snapped.
Reid's eyes nervously came up to meet his partner's hard stare.
"Are you sleeping with him?"
Reid's mouth dropped open in complete disbelief. "What? NO!"
A hard hand once again slapped him square in the cheek.
"Tell me the truth, Spencer." Hotch said angrily.
Reid sobbed. "I am telling you the truth!"
Another slap came, this time it was a backhand on the other side of his face. It knocked Reid almost out of Hotch's grip.
Reid cried out in pain.
"Aaron, please." He begged. He grabbed hold of his lover's suit jacket, desperately looking for some mercy.
"You are lying to me." Hotch said darkly.
"I'm not! I swear!"
"Do you think he's good looking?" Hotch countered.
"Please, Aaron." He begged again through another sob, gripping his jacket tighter.
Another slap left him almost dazed. He lost his footing for a second but Hotch kept him firmly on his feet. His cheeks stung and he was sure he could taste blood and feel a warm liquid running down the side of his face.
"Tell me the truth, Reid." Hotch said firmly.
Reid sucked in an upset breath and a shudder ran down his back. He couldn't find any words to answer with.
Hotch pulled his fist back in view of Reid. It was slow and deliberate. A clear threat.
"Okay, okay!" Reid said in a panic. "Yes, he's attractive! He's attractive!"
Hotch dropped the fist down to his side as if Reid had just said the most disappointing and shocking words he'd ever heard.
"But he's nothing compared to you." Reid whispered hopelessly.
"There's that word again." Hotch said dryly. "'Compare'." He forced out a breath like he was giving up. "I knew I was losing you. I didn't want to believe it. But it was happening right in front of my face."
Reid shook his head. "No, no, no, Aaron. You're not losing me. You'll never lose me. I don't compare you and Morgan. There is nothing to compare. I love you. You're everything to me."
"I can almost believe you, Spencer. And then I see you two together. And I know I'm losing you." Hotch sounded almost sad.
Reid sobbed, completely lost with how to react. He was such a combination of terrified, in pain, dazed confused, hurt, guilt-ridden, he couldn't figure out how to convince the man he loved that he was and would only ever be the one for him.
"And you don't even have an answer to that." He said simply.
"No, I just-"
Hotch's hand made its way back into his hair again cutting Reid off and dragging him across the room to the edge of the couch.
"Well, if you think you're going to leave me for him, you've got another thing coming. I'll give you something to fucking compare."
"Aaron!" Reid cried out he tried to loosen the grip in his hair. It was to no avail. The next second, he was shoved forwards over the arm of the couch and his arm was twisted up his back once again, forcing his face down into the couch cushions.
"Aaron, what are you doing?" Reid called out in a panic.
"You are going to be good for me, Spencer." He pulled at Reid's already open pants and yanked them down.
"No! Red, red, red, red!" He cried out desperately.
Hotch ignored his pleas and roughly yanked down his boxers then started messing with his own belt and pants.
Reid's body was in pure panic now. This was too reminiscent of their anniversary. He couldn't believe Aaron was doing this to him again. He tried kicking his legs out against the man but it did nothing.
"And now you're fighting me?" Hotch said in disbelief. His tone was hurt and offended. "You're supposed to love me, Spencer."
"I do love you, I do! But you're scaring me! I'm really scared, Aaron. Please. Don't do this!" Reid tried his best to break through to the parts of Aaron that loved him and respected him.
"I'm scaring you?" He twisted his arm further up his back, causing Reid to cry out again. A sob escaped his lips. "You stand in front of an armed unsub without a vest, yet I'm scaring you... You wouldn't say that to Derek, would you?"
Reid's body completely tensed as Aaron's finger cruelly entered him without any prep. He gritted his teeth as he tried to deal with the discomfort.
"You'd want to impress him. Show him how brave and strong you are."
He inserted another finger and scissored, opening him up, stretching him painfully. Reid gasped as he tried to cope with the pain.
"Why can't you do that for me, Spencer? Am I not important enough? Does my opinion of you not matter?"
"Yes." Reid gasped desperately. Hotch pushed him further down into the couch by his arm. Reid's other hand attempted to creep round to try and loosen his lover's grip.
"Don't." Hotch said firmly, referring to the wandering hand. "Stay still, Spencer. I'm going to show you just how much I love you and finally put to bed this whole issue of comparison. And you are going to show me how much you love me. Right?"
Reid just sobbed, still trying to loosen Hotch's grip. Hotch quickly inserted another finger and started massaging Reid's prostate. It made his body shudder and his back arched desperately. He moaned despite his terror.
"See, baby? I love you so much. And you've hurt me, but still, I do this for you. The least you can do for me is let me."
Reid didn't respond, but his hand obediently moved away from Hotch's grip and his fingers grasped tightly into the cushions. He silently cried into the couch.
Aaron was right. He had obviously hurt him a lot. He'd somehow managed to make the man he loved feel like he wasn't good enough. That Derek was somehow his competition. His idiotic choice of words and his lack of compassion had led him down this road and now Aaron was desperate not to lose him. So desperate he wanted to show him how good he could make him feel even it it meant he was essentially raping him.
Don't be stupid.
He pushed the 'r' word away. It didn't fit this scenario. They were partners for gods sake, if they hadn't argued they'd probably be doing something similar anyway.
Aaron was clearly at his wits end. And that was all his fault. If only he'd been more attentive. Noticed his lover's stress levels. Looked for cues in his behaviour that would have told him how much he was hurting and how his confidence was waning. He should have known after the anniversary. But instead he took it all personally. Aaron was only trying to tell him how he felt, share his insecurities and he'd let his own ego get in the way. Aaron had become frustrated. It was understandable. It must have been like talking to a brick wall. Reid hated his inability to comprehend human emotions to a 'normal' level. And Aaron had tried his best, he really had. But they both knew he still hadn't fully mastered it.
Reid involuntarily let out a scream as he felt Hotch thrust into him without any real preparation.
"Aaron... Aaron... stop... please!" He begged. "It hurts." He gasped desperately.
Hotch stopped, still buried inside him.
"It will hurt if you don't relax." He pressed him further into the couch, still not letting go of his twisted arm. "Just give it a minute, it will start to feel good, baby. Be good for me."
He pulled in and out, painfully slowly at first. It burned horrendously. Reid felt like he was being slowly sawn in two. He buried his face into the couch to silence his cries and gasps. But try as he might, his body wouldn't relax. It couldn't. After an excruciating few minutes, Hotch sped up his thrusts and began pounding into his trapped lover, ignoring his obviously traumatised cries and moans of pain.
It wasn't starting to feel good. It felt like torture. His arm ached dreadfully and pain shot between his elbow and his shoulder with every thrust. His body was helplessly pressed into the couch compromising his breathing. He struggled to keep enough oxygen in his lungs and his chest throbbed, begging him for a wholesome breath of air. The arm of the couch dug painfully into his hip bones and the normally soft material felt scratchy and rough. It burned as his body was rocked back and forth by Aaron's frantic movements. His legs hung uselessly off the end of the couch, unable to gain any useful purchase in the carpet beneath. If they did, Aaron would simply kick them out from underneath him, determined to keep him in place.
He was claustrophobic. There was no escape from the couch pressing into him, his arm pressing into him, Aaron pressing into him.
He was verging on a panic attack. He needed to escape. He needed freedom. Like walking in an open field on a summer's day, where he could feel the breeze, see the tall grass swaying and feel the soft ground under his feet. He would sit under a tree in the shade and take out a long book, lean against the rough bark...
Hotch moaned as his thrusts picked up further and he was nearing his finish. He felt Reid's body go limp under his grasp and looked down to see his eyes fixed across the room, staring at nothing. He'd seen him do this on occasion before when they'd had a particularly rough play session. They learned together that it was called 'subspace'. And for many submissives it was something they craved and valued deeply.
"There you go, baby. I told you I would make you feel good."
He leaned forward and grabbed Reid's hair, pulling his head back as he thrust harder into his young lover. He moaned and panted as he reached his climax, he finally let go of Reid's arm and pulled his hips back towards him to reach as deep inside of him as he could when he came. He loved the feeling of Reid around him. He had been a virgin before they got together. And knowing that Reid was his and had only ever been his was something that made Hotch's skin tingle.
Hotch shuddered and groaned loudly as he finally reached his release. He thrust a few more times, riding his way through the orgasm that swept through his body. He was sweating now and he collapsed forward slightly onto Reid, completely spent. He ran a hand down the young man's back.
"You see why you're mine, baby? No one will ever make you feel as good as I do. No one." He received no response but he barely seemed to notice. The whiskey was still heavily affecting his judgement. Had he been sober, he'd have realised some minutes earlier than Reid had completely dissociated and his kind was no longer present.
Hotch pulled out of his young lover and headed upstairs to the bathroom to clean himself up.
Reid's body finally responded to the freedom of movement and he attempted to push himself up from the couch. But all strength seemed to have left him. Instead he managed to pull himself further up the couch until his hips no longer rested over the arm and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees. Shivers ran through his body and he stared listlessly at nothing, tears streaming down his face.
He needed comfort. He needed to be told that he was safe and loved, that it wasn't his fault. He needed to be held.
But he would receive none of it.
On his way out of the bathroom, tiredness had overwhelmed Hotch and he'd stumbled towards the bed, half-dressed and totally oblivious to the complete mess he had left downstairs.
He collapsed onto the bed, and sleep overtook him almost instantly.