Ellen Calabaza had just opened the front display case in order to lay down a tray of Baker Lunt's freshly prepared frosted chocolate-chip mega cookies when the bell above the bakery door jingled, accompanied by the angry sounds of young voices.
"That has to be the silliest story I've ever heard, Angus!"
"I'm telling you! He was there on the roof!"
"Right, out of all the buildings in the city, he chose to land on the one right across the street from where you just happened to be."
"My cousin saw him too, Percy! He'll back me up."
"Sure, sure."
Ellen straightened to see a young gray mushroom named Angus enter the shop with a pair of pea brothers named Percy and Lil' Pea. The boys often came into Lunt's Bakery around this time to collect any damaged pastries that could not be sold, and Ellen was glad to share crumbled cookies and smooshed cupcakes with such well-behaved children, but she had never seen them make such a racket before, even after too much sugar.
"Hey, hey!" she called, smacking a wooden spoon against the display to get their attention. "What's all this squabbling about? You boys are usually good friends, three peas in a pod! Well, two peas and a mushroom in a pod," she corrected herself.
Percy Pea tipped his hat backwards so that he could meet Ellen's gaze. "Angus claims he saw Altruistic Alvin land a flying machine over by his cousin's place."
"Across the street from my cousin's place," Angus clarified.
Ellen tilted her head. "Altruistic Alvin the superhero?"
"How many superheroes named Alvin do you know?" piped up Lil' Pea, genuinely curious.
"Just the one," Ellen said with a motherly smile for the little boy before she turned back to Angus. "So, Alvin has a flying machine now?"
"Of course he does," replied Angus, lifting his chin with a look of authority. "Superheroes have cool stuff like that."
Ellen resisted a chuckle at his youthful vehemence. "I'm sure you're right about that. And how did you happen to see this amazing spectacle of engineering, Angus?"
Angus straightened, pleased to be validated by a grownup, and launched into his tale.
"Okay, so me and my parents went over to have dinner with my aunt and uncle at their apartment 'cause it was my uncle's birthday, right? Well, my cousin and me got bored and went up to the roof. We were just stepping out when we saw Altruistic Alvin on a flying platform thingy, and he landed it on the roof of the apartment building across the street from us. He started talking to this cucumber lady, and then she got on, and they flew away together."
"Sure, Altruistic Alvin just happened to show across the street from your cousin's place," scoffed Percy. "And did Bigfoot show up too?"
"It really happened!" Angus snapped. "My mom made me go home after that because it was a school night, but my cousin stayed up watching from his bedroom window, and he says he saw Alvin come back later with the cucumber lady. She must live there."
"You're just pulling our legs!"
Angus glared at Percy, then spun toward Ellen. "You believe me, don't you?"
"Well, superheroes have normal lives too," reasoned Ellen. "For all you know, Alvin could have been taking his grandmother out to run a quick errand."
"Nah, this lady was younger than that," replied Angus with a dismissive shake of his head. "She was a grownup, like maybe twenty-five. You know, pretty old, but not old-old."
"Oh, that hurts," Ellen said under her breath, painfully aware of her thirty-first birthday just around the corner, but she cleared her face and smiled. "Well then! Maybe Altruistic Alvin has a very special lady friend he was taking out for a date."
The three boys promptly gagged.
"No way!"
"Gross!"
"Gag-o-rama!"
Ellen could not stop a soft laugh. "Superheroes fall in love and get married too, you know."
"Superheroes aren't mushy, Miss Ellen!" Percy Pea said stoutly. "They have to stay away from cooties in order to fight crime."
"Stranger things have happened, boys," came a voice from behind Ellen.
Ellen turned with a grin to see her boss, a handsome yellow gourd with brown hair and a thin mustache, sauntering out of the back room with a second tray of cookies. He wore a smart white shirt and a puffy baker's hat that was taller than himself. He laid the tray to the side and came over to counter to smile at his young friends.
"Where did you say you saw Altruistic Alvin, Mr. Angus?" he asked in a fatherly tone.
"In the big apartment building across the street from where my aunt and uncle live," the mushroom replied.
"How nice," he said, nodding companionably. "And where's that exactly?"
"Over on Belgeau Avenue," shrugged Angus, "you know, down the street from the comic-book shop on Shari Lane."
"Well," smiled Baker Lunt, "if Alvin goes back, you and your cousin can take a picture and sell it to a newspaper. Then you can buy a whole lotta cookies instead of eating crumbled products all the time."
Angus brightened. "You think a newspaper will buy a photo from a kid?"
"Sure! Everyone wants to know everything about superheroes these days," replied Baker Lunt. "I sure do."
"Do it, Angus! Do it!" trilled Lil' Pea.
"Yeah!" beamed Percy Pea, bouncing with excitement, his previous skepticism gone. "You could have a stakeout like cops do on TV!"
As the boys began to scheme together about obtaining a superhero photograph, Ellen shot Baker Lunt an exasperated look.
"Nice going, Jefe," she said under her breath. "You just introduced innocent children to a paparazzi lifestyle."
"Weren't you ever young?" Baker Lunt smiled back, adjusting his puffy hat. Raising his voice, he added, "Ellen, give the boys a full dozen of unbroken cookies. On the house."
The three heads snapped up, and the youthful faces gleamed. Despite scolding him before, Ellen sent her employer an admiring look.
"Baker Lunt is so nice, isn't he?" she beamed. "What do we say, kids?"
"Thanks, Baker Lunt!" the boys chorused after the gourd as he slipped into the back room.
Baker Lunt closed the door behind him, cutting off the happy sounds of the boys picking out their free cookies, and made a beeline for his small office area near the back of the kitchen. He retrieved his flip phone from his desk and held down the 3 button, activating the speed dial feature. While the ringing chirped from the receiver, he picked up the latest issue of The Daily Apple and flipped to an article that had caught his eye (so to speak), one graced by black-and-white photographs of a tall onion with limbs. According to the article, the onion, Altruistic Alvin, had stopped a break-in at the Applyburg Institute of Archaeology, and he had gone up against the notorious LarryBoy. Some of the shots, Baker Lunt noticed, were taken from a considerable height, as though the photographer had been standing on a flying platform.
"Interesting," he said aloud.
After five rings, a man's deep, business-like voice answered.
"This is Nezzer."
"Hey, Boss, I got some news you might like to hear," Baker Lunt said with a smile. "You know that Alvin guy who had been causing trouble for the Applyburg branch of our business?"
"What about him?" returned Mr. Nezzer coldly.
"I just came across a potential lead for us to get to the do-gooder," Baker Lunt replied. "I'm going to investigate it tonight. I'll swing by the penguins' workshop later and pick up the new jetpack and cape in case there's trouble."
"What sort of lead?"
"Too soon to tell," he admitted, "but you know heroes. Their main weakness is often a cry for help, if you catch my drift."
"Very good, Mr. Lunt," said Mr. Nezzer, and Baker Lunt could practically hear his smile. "Keep me informed."
"Will do."
He ended the call and returned his attention to the newspaper in his grasp. He scanned the text beneath the pictures of Alvin and quickly found the byline: "Photos by Vicki Cucumber."
"So, Alvin visited a cucumber lady who lives on Belgeau Avenue down the street from Shari Lane," he said to himself. "Very interesting."
Very interesting indeed.
THE END
A/N: Angus Mushroom is a minor character first seen in Larry-Boy and the Rumor Weed, although he does not have a speaking part. (His name was revealed in The Bumblyburg Files from the old Larry-Boy website.) He has a bigger role in the book, Larryboy and the Awful Ear Wacks.