A/N: Thank you everyone who came back for your patience! I definitely did not expect the hiatus to be six months… Luckily, I only had a minor case of the 'fanfic writer's curse' and I'm so excited to be back! In order to hopefully keep such a long break from happening again, I'm making a small change to the posting schedule. For the moment, I'll do weekly postings like I was, but if my buffer (currently 9 chapters) shrinks down to 5 chapters, I'll spread it out to posting every other week.

If anyone doesn't quite remember what they read six months ago: a very brief "Previously on the Impulse Buy." Shawn and Gus solved a case with Shawn acting like he was psychic, and now life in the dorm room feels much smaller. While trying to reconcile those feelings alongside the slave belief that he should be happy with what's given to him, Shawn is asked if he can ever be as happy with Gus as he was when he thought he was free. He doesn't know the answer.

Gus woke up the next morning to fresh coffee and poptarts arranged carefully on a plate. "Wha… What's all this?"

"This is breakfast in bed," Shawn said as he held out his offering.

Gus blinked the sleep out of his eyes and sat up, glancing at his clock. He'd slept in for an hour and a half. Had Shawn just been waiting on him that entire time? "Thanks… Uh, not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but… Why?"

"Because you deserve it," Shawn answered firmly, as though it explained everything.

It really didn't. Alarm bells went off in Gus' mind; Shawn was acting different. He had to figure out what was wrong. But he'd also just woken up, and there was coffee right in front of him… He could figure it out after breakfast. Gus took the food and cradled the warm coffee mug in his hands. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," Shawn said with a large smile before sitting down on his sleeping bag. "You deserve a day off."

Yep, something was definitely wrong. Gus took a gulp of his coffee as he forced his brain to think. Yesterday had been stressful, having to go back to where everything had happened. Maybe Shawn was just trying to be nice after that?

But the last time he'd thought Shawn was being nice, Shawn had tried to run…

The coffee turned bitter in his mouth; he couldn't make the same mistake again. He had to be sure.

Gus put his cup carefully on his plate. "Shawn, what's going on?"

Shawn gave him a confused look. "I told you…"

"Yeah, day off…" Gus nodded to the food. "You've never done something like this before. What happened?"

"Am I not allowed to do something nice?"

No. Not anymore. "I'm not going to be able to eat this until I know."

Shawn studied his hands for a moment before looking up. "You haven't been happy for the last couple of weeks. And you didn't have to help me yesterday… not the way you did. You deserve a day off."

Could it really be that simple? "I wouldn't have been a very good friend if I hadn't helped…"

"You were scared again. Because of me." Shawn shrugged uncomfortably. "I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't try to make it up to you."

Gus looked down at his plate in shame. He'd been second guessing Shawn's motives for weeks, and now he couldn't even enjoy a nice gesture. "Sorry. Thanks."

Shawn continued, his voice carefully light. "I was thinking after breakfast, we could check out the dance rooms. I know you brought your tap shoes back with you."

Did he want to dance? The movement sounded good, but having Shawn just sit there and watch him wasn't appealing. "Sure…You're sure you're ok with it?"

"Today's not about me," Shawn said quickly. He froze as they both processed the sentence. A bewildered look crossed his face.

"Yeah," Gus agreed with a huffed laugh. How often would a slave ever say a sentence like that? "Our lives are weird."

Shawn nodded in agreement. "I mean it though. You don't have to worry about me."

He'd always worry about him. The poptarts disappeared quickly, and Gus used the time to recalibrate his emotions. They were going to have a good day together, and he wasn't going to worry about anything.

And he'd keep an eye out to make sure Shawn didn't act too different from normal.

The dance room was simple with just enough room for two or three dancers. The wooden floor was worn with skid marks and small chips, and the floor to ceiling mirror had a cracked corner. It was perfect.

Gus unhooked the leash as he looked around and tried to decide how he felt. He hadn't expected to feel so nervous about it. He'd meant to practice a bit during winter break, but it hadn't been important enough to take time away from Shawn or Joy. It had been so long… how much had he forgotten?

Shawn opened the bookbag and handed over the tap shoes. Gus took them with a nod of thanks. It seemed wrong, too, to ask Shawn to just sit and do nothing while he did something he loved. It was like the holiday break all over again; it was time that he could be spending with Shawn. But even more than that… Shawn had thought he was free from the same routine day in and day out. No more sitting and waiting until he was useful again. When he'd been caught, he'd had to return to it. And now he was willingly doing it even more. For Gus.

But it was also something he was willing to do for Gus. And that made it special. What if it wasn't good and it wasn't worth it?

Shawn was right; he did need a day off if he was managing to overthink tap this badly.

"Want music?" Shawn asked, pulling the laptop partially out of the bag. He hadn't asked to use it since that day. Gus hadn't offered either.

"Yeah, thanks." Gus took the laptop and opened up his song file. There were several playlists for dancing already queued up. "Any song requests?"

"Nah, I'm kinda curious to see what you pick," Shawn said with a smile as he settled back with his sketchbook.

Gus did his best to not think too hard as he opened the first playlist and set the laptop on the ground. "I've got a pretty good mix. Some Broadway, some R'n'B, some pop…"

"Pop for tap?" Shawn asked skeptically.

"Anything with a beat is good for tap." Acappella voices started a mournful tune and Shawn just raised an eyebrow without saying a word. Gus rolled his eyes as he started stretching. "What? It's one of my favorites, and it's good for a warmup."

"It doesn't have a beat."

"But it's got flow." Gus rolled his neck and listened as the lyrics started. Even though they were about mourning the past, they still hit closer to home than he'd like. He wanted to move on, to pretend like nothing had happened. He wanted the easy camaraderie they'd had just a few weeks ago. But the past kept hanging on, and everything hinged on that day. The song was right; it was hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

"…I thought we'd get to see forever. But forever's gone away…"

Gus closed his eyes and listened to the music, letting it say the things that he wasn't able to. He started a slow warmup routine, and to his relief, the movement was familiar. Like coming back home and still knowing the exact spot to step on the stairs to keep them from creaking. He kept things slow, letting everything fall away as he stayed in the moment.

"…I don't know where this road is going to lead…"

He didn't know where things were going to go from here. They were doing better, but it was obvious things couldn't stay the same.

"…All I know is where we've been. And what we've been through…"

This wasn't the first time they'd had to adjust to a new normal. They'd come through stronger all of the other times.

"…And if we get to see tomorrow. I hope it's worth all the wait…"

There wasn't any 'if' about it. Gus had nearly lost Shawn once, he wasn't going to do it again.

"…It's so hard. To say goodbye. To yesterday…"

The chords swelled, filling him with resolve. He let his body move without any plan or restraint. It was only him and the music; nothing else mattered. As the final lyrics faded away, a strange calmness filled him, like he'd had a good cry and a plateful of warm cookies all at once. Nothing had changed, but for the first time in weeks, he wasn't scared.

He'd have to tell Shawn that he'd had a really good idea.

An upbeat show tune started, and his body remembered what to do without any thought. He let it carry him away, his heart rate picking up as a smile stretched across his face. He'd forgotten how freeing this was. How right it was.

The elation carried him through several more songs, building up to a crescendo and a final spin. He grinned into the mirror as he panted for breath. There wasn't anything like knowing he was going to hit everything perfectly a split second before it happened.

A quiet round of applause started, and Gus turned with a small performer's bow. Shawn was watching him with a large smile, his sketchbook open on his lap, showing a swirl of music notes and the beginnings of a sketched profile dancing in the middle.

A slower song started and Gus walked over and grabbed his water bottle. His mind wanted to go on, but his body needed a rest. He wasn't out of shape, but he also hadn't been practicing nearly every day like he had during the summer.

"Why'd you go into sales when you can do that?" Shawn asked as Gus took several large gulps of water.

"I don't know, I guess it wasn't what was expected." That sounded a lot sadder than it actually was. Gus shrugged and added, "Besides, my dance instructor and I talked about it once. He said that people who made dance into their career had to dance. They were called to it; they couldn't do anything but dance. I like dance, but I can do other things."

Even while being more relaxed, it still felt wrong talk about choices to Shawn. But he'd asked, and Gus was done trying to avoid everything that felt uncomfortable. He nodded towards the sketchbook and the half-finished scene. "That's really good."

Shawn's eyes dropped to his paper and he fidgeted with his pencil for a few moments before finally saying, "Thanks."

He never seemed to know what to do with compliments, but it didn't stop Gus from giving them. "Did you teach yourself?"

"Yeah… Lots of doodling in school." He darkened a few lines and Gus waited. He knew what it looked like when Shawn was debating with himself. He was rewarded a few seconds later when Shawn added, "I never showed my dad though." His lips twisted into a wry smile. "I'd actually make terrible pictures for him on purpose. He still hung them up on the fridge…"

Gus hadn't expected to have this sort of conversation today, but he was willing to improvise. "Why did you do that?"

"He was a…" Shawn searched for the right words for a second before asking, "Is there a nice way to say 'detail-obsessed fanatic'?"

"High expectations?" Gus offered.

"Sure. He always had things I needed to work on, lessons to learn." Shawn absently added another curve to the body outline. "I knew he'd want me to do this as perfectly as he wanted everything else."

"Which doesn't sound very fun." And it also meant he was possibly the first person Shawn had ever shared it with. "For what it's worth, I meant it. It looks really good."

"Thanks," Shawn answered a little easier than last time. He nodded towards the dance floor. "I meant it too. You're good."

"Thanks." A more upbeat song started and Gus looked between Shawn and the open area. He didn't want to stop yet, but he didn't want to leave the conversation. Things actually felt right for a change. "I get that it's a loaded thing, so don't worry about it if you don't want to. But I can teach you some, if you'd like."

A comment from his lab partner the other day had made him realize that Shawn being forced to 'perform tricks' for food had probably included dancing. The mental image had him plotting his next chemistry 'accident'. And it let him understand the importance of the moment when Shawn barely hesitated before giving him a large smile and standing up. "Sure."

Gus practically floated back to the middle of the room; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so light. "Ok. I know what I do looks complicated, but there's a few basic moves that a lot of the more advanced stuff builds on."

"It's ok that I don't have the tippy tappies?" Shawn asked, nodding towards Gus' tap shoes.

Gus snorted at the description. "Yeah, you can learn a lot with just regular shoes." Shawn grinned at the reaction and moved to stand next to him. Gus nodded in approval. "First rule of tap, there's no straight legs. You'll want to keep your knees soft and a bit bent so you can move better."

Gus watched the collar carefully as he gave his instructions. He wasn't going to let any accidental orders ruin the moment. "The first step we'll go over is the shuffle." He lifted his leg in demonstration. "The foot kicks forward and sweeps the floor with the toe" –he kicked his foot forward slowly– "then sweeps back on the heel." He demonstrated the move a few times, speeding up until he was tapping to the beat of the music.

"You did that on the first song," Shawn pointed out as he lifted his foot to mimic it. He promptly lost his balance and stumbled to right himself.

"It's a good warm-up to loosen the ankles," Gus explained. He purposely didn't mention the blunder as he demonstrated again, this time putting his hands on his hips for easier balance.

Shawn watched him carefully before trying again, his movements slow and unsure.

"There you go," Gus said in approval. It wasn't perfect, but that wasn't what they were going for. After a minute of practice, Gus switched legs and Shawn followed his example while wobbling slightly. It didn't take him long to settle back into the rhythm, which meant it was time for the next step.

"Now that you've got the basic move, you can make it a bit fancier with syncopation." Gus kicked forward faster, so the click of his toe and his heel came one right after the other. "Or you can kick off to the side." He demonstrated on both sides. "Or even cross over your other leg."

He showed each variation again, giving Shawn time to try them himself, before moving onto another basic step. Shawn was a fast learner, only needing to be shown something once before he started trying to do it on his own. But it was hard to tell if he was actually enjoying himself with his face creased in concentration and his movements tight and controlled.

"Ok, we'll try a small combo so you can see how they can go together, then we'll call it done today," Gus decided after another song wound down.

"I can keep going," Shawn said quickly. Too quickly.

Gus studied him for a moment; he looked desperate, like he had something to prove. "Who's saying that? Your dad, a previous master, or you?"

Shawn confirmed his hunch by looking away and sidestepping the question. "You're having fun."

Gus wanted to point out how it wasn't fun when the other person wasn't having fun too, but he couldn't risk Shawn hiding his real feelings behind a fake smile. Instead, Gus dramatically patted his stomach and used a time-honored distraction instead. "And I'll have just as much fun getting japadog after this. I don't know about you, but I've worked up an appetite."

Shawn's wince was barely noticeable as he agreed, "Y-Yeah… that sounds good."

That hadn't been the reaction he'd been hoping for… Gus mentally facepalmed when he realized what he'd done wrong. He'd just offered a treat for Shawn acting how he'd wanted. That wouldn't do. "Hey, I'd be offering that even if you'd said no to dancing. Or if you were absolutely terrible at it. Or if you just hadn't wanted to come here at all."

"I'm not absolutely terrible at it?" Shawn asked skeptically.

"Nope. You're picking it up fast. Really fast." Gus paused, waiting for Shawn to look at him. "I've been learning this for years. Trust me when I say you're doing great for only having started twenty minutes ago."

Shawn smiled slightly at his words, but didn't seem convinced. There were obviously too many minefields in this conversation, but they'd been doing so well... The freedom from earlier started to slip away as a familiar weight settled around Gus' shoulders. He didn't want it to come back. "You know, I heard a phrase once. 'There's no wrong notes in music, only jazz that you weren't expecting.'"

Shawn let out a surprised laugh and Gus smiled with him and played his trump card. "Tap is part music, so I guess that means there's no wrong steps either."

Shawn gave him a knowing look but still played along. "I can't argue with that logic."

"Of course not. It's flawless." Gus brushed off an invisible speck of dust from his shoulder before putting his hands back on his hips. "Let's try that combo out, then we can get lunch."

It may have been Gus' imagination, but Shawn's movements seemed lighter than before as they finished the song together.

The cool winter air was refreshing as they stopped by their favorite food cart and ate their lunch outside. Only a few people were out and about, nearly all dressed in warm sweatshirts or light coats. A girl stopped as she saw them, staring like she'd never seen a slave eating a sushi hotdog before. Gus stared right back until she blushed and looked away. She had a scarf wrapped around her neck; Gus tried to not imagine a collar hiding underneath.

"This is so good…" Shawn said quietly next to him.

Gus shook his uncharitable thoughts from his head and agreed, "I can't believe I never tried it sooner." What made it taste even better was Shawn staying next to him in public and not retreating to slave-mode. "So, the day off was your idea. Any other plans?"

"You still want me to pick?" Shawn asked in surprise.

"Why not? The dance room was a good idea."

"It wasn't my idea."

While it was true that Rowan had mentioned it in an email, it had still been Shawn who'd remembered it and brought it up again. "Just because someone else said it first doesn't mean it's not your idea."

Shawn finished his hotdog and asked in an almost casual way, "Have you heard from Rowan recently?"

"Not since the note they sent a week ago." Honestly, it had been longer than a week. Gus had never taken this long getting back to them. "I haven't been able to decide what to tell them."

Shawn looked ready to ask something before looking back at the ground. "Yeah… that makes sense."

Gus sighed and finished his own food. It wasn't fair to make Shawn wait to hear from Abigail just because of his own hangups. "I can write them tonight. Just… Do you want me to tell them about you running?"

"I…It's ok if you do. Whatever you think is best."

Which wasn't a helpful answer… Though it was definitely a loaded question. Who knew what Rowan would say or if they'd understand. And that wasn't even getting into what Abigail would think of it all.

What did slaves think about other slaves trying to escape? Would she approve or would she think it was reckless? Would she be jealous he tried? Would she think the punishment was justified?

This wasn't what he wanted to think about today. "I'll just keep it vague, then. Unless you change your mind."

Shawn nodded, looking relieved. "Sounds good." They started walking towards the dorm when he chimed up again. "I had a penpal once."

"What?" Gus asked, caught off guard. Shawn was talking about his past again?

"In school, for an assignment. We had to write to someone across the world and 'share your culture'." Shawn shrugged with a lopsided grin. "Neither of us knew what our culture was, so we just swapped fart jokes."

Gus snorted in amusement despite himself. "Man, we had one of those too. My penpal never wrote back."

"Rude."

"Right?" The strange moment was gone as soon as it had arrived, and they walked for a few minutes in comfortable silence. As the dorm came into view, Gus pointed out, "You know, you never answered my question. Any other ideas for today?"

"I have one…" Shawn answered hesitantly. "But it'd cost money."

A crazy thought of Shawn offering to go to a theatre show popped into Gus' mind. It was easy to let his curiosity take over as he asked, "What's the idea?"

"We could check out the aquarium."

Gus stopped as he thought the option through. It was definitely more doable than Broadway. "That'd be a lot of people."

"It sounds neat." Shawn hitched the backpack further up his shoulders and his hands stayed where they were, fiddling with the straps. "And you're always reading about that seal…"

"Sea lion," Gus corrected.

"I've heard it both ways."

Gus couldn't help his fond eye roll. "They're not the same. They're both pinnipeds, but seals can't walk around on their flippers." Shawn wasn't wrong, he would like to see Shabby. The aquarium had been tracking the rescued sea lion's rehabilitation on their blog. But Shawn hadn't been around crowds like that for weeks… "Do you really want to go?"

"This is your day," Shawn argued quickly. Gus set his jaw and stared him down; it was a free day for both of them. Shawn sighed at the look and begrudgingly said, "I'll be fine and it sounds fun."

"Alright then. Let's drop off our stuff then catch the bus." Gus led the way, trying hard to not overthink Shawn's strange behavior.

The aquarium was just as busy as Gus had feared. Children's laughter echoed through the building, educational videos droned in the background, and the large hall at the front was full of the low murmur of a crowd. Gus checked on Shawn nervously as a family with a squalling baby boxed them into the line.

Shawn's tight eyes betrayed his stress, but as soon as he noticed he was being watched, he gave Gus a large smile. Gus smiled nervously back before facing the front desk again. This had been Shawn's idea; it'd be fine.

Surprisingly, they didn't run into any resistance when Gus bought two tickets. Though whether it was because the ticket lady was a forward thinker or she just wanted to move the line along to get the crying baby away from her was anyone's guess. Either way, Gus was happy to have one less fight for the day as he took their bracelets and map.

The key to having a good visit was proper planning. Gus led them to the nearest corner and immediately consulted the map. The aquarium was huge, with a layout that wouldn't have been out of place in a zoo, and there'd been a lot of changes since he'd been there last. He started talking as his plan took shape. "Ok, the dolphins are being fed in an hour, so we should have time to check the coral reef and frog exhibit before then." The memory of red rash lines on the back of Shawn's legs led to him asking, "We need to skip anything? Jellyfish?"

"Uh, no. They're fine," Shawn answered hesitantly. He stayed close to Gus' shoulder and kept his voice down as he added, "They're still cool, with their glowing and… glooping?" He raised his hand slightly to emulate how a jellyfish swam.

Gus nodded as he mentally ran through any other exhibits that might cause an issue. "Touch tank?"

This time Shawn hesitated before asking back, "Do you want to do that?"

Truthfully, he'd never seen the appeal. Sharks were meant to be carefully watched, not petted. "We'll skip that one then."

"Yeah. We'd hate to trigger Jaws 5… For so many reasons."

"I don't think these are the kind of sharks you need to worry about," Gus couldn't help but point out. "Besides, Great White Sharks can't be kept in captivity. We've tried, and it's never worked."

He winced as he heard what he'd just said, but Shawn –the man who kept trying to escape captivity– just shrugged and retorted, "It doesn't mean the little guys aren't plotting something." He tapped under his eye. "You can tell; it's all in the eyes."

Gus quickly played along. "Honey I shrunk Jaws… This time it's personal sized."

Shawn huffed a laugh and Gus grinned as he went over the plan. "Ok, coral reef minus the touching, frogs, jellies, dolphins, then we can swing over to the otters…"

Shawn gave him a look and asked, "You're going to plan the whole visit?"

"It's the best way to get the optimal enjoyment without any backtracking," Gus defended himself.

"Or you could just… pick a door and see where it goes?"

A woman walked by, her nose turned up like she smelled rotten fish as she gave Shawn a side eye. Shawn took half a step closer, crowding into Gus' space as he ducked his head. Gus glared at the bitch's back as she moved on; they'd been doing so well...

Shawn was out of his comfort zone. Gus could step out of his too. He folded up the map and handed it over. "Ok, then. You get to pick the doors though."

"We can do it your way," Shawn said quietly, even as he took the map. "It's your day."

"Our day," Gus corrected. Shawn didn't seem to like the answer, if his frown was anything to go by. If he hadn't wanted to do things differently, then why had he said something? "We can do both. Your way until the dolphins and then we see what we missed?"

"...Yeah. That sounds good." Shawn looked conflicted, which matched Gus' confusion. But they had a plan; it was time to actually do what they'd come here to do.

The first door was easy to pick, it was the only one available. Gus stepped forward, leading them towards the large circular opening with the aquarium's name wrapped around the edges. The world changed around them as they stepped through. The light dimmed, turning blue as the sound of the surf overtook the rest of the ambient sounds. Water surrounded them in a glass tunnel, and they stepped forward into a new reality.

Schools of fish darted through a rainbow of coral, their movements looking like a choreographed dance. Larger fish glided past them, the lights above reflecting off of their scales, making them shimmer and shine. A shadow passed overhead and Gus looked up to see the underside of a sea turtle swimming by. Everywhere he looked was teeming with color and life.

The conflicting feelings from the day faded into the background as he took in everything at once. It was sometimes hard to remember in the messiness of life that there was so much beauty just beneath the surface. A glance back showed Shawn taking in the sights, his eyes jumping around rapidly whenever something moved. A small smile played at the corner of his lips, uncaring of the few judgemental looks being shot his way.

Gus smiled with him and looked back out into the simulated ocean. There'd be time to figure out what was going on with Shawn later; for now, he was going to enjoy the view.

The next hour passed by quickly as they explored the aquarium. True to his word, Gus let Shawn pick where they went once they exited the tunnel. It was hard to tell if Shawn had actually wanted to go to the reef section next or if he was picking what Gus had wanted, but they both agreed that the crashed pirate ship aesthetic was cool.

The next choice was all his, though, as they found a dark nook with several species of cave fish. They were quite odd, with their nearly translucent skin and pale eyes. The information boards were interesting too, but not interesting enough to miss when a teenager shoved Shawn out of the way to be able to see better.

Shawn stepped back quickly without any complaint, but Gus wasn't as lenient. A rant was on the tip of his tongue when Shawn nudged his shoulder and gave a nearly invisible head shake.

It wasn't right; Shawn had just as much right to be there as anyone. Gus ground his teeth and kept his argument to himself as they made their way back into the large center room. "You should have let me yell at him."

"I didn't tell you to do –or not do– anything, sir," Shawn said innocently, his voice twisting with just a touch of amusement. "Besides, it would have been a shame to get kicked out before we could see Flipper's third cousin twice removed."

Gus took a brief moment to trace the family tree to see if that was actually possible before giving up on the attempt. "It's still messed up… He was the one being a jerk…" He knew better than to argue about who would have been seen in the wrong, though. "Where to next?"

Shawn shot him a small private grin before nodding to a nondescript corner. "What about that door?"

"The one that says 'Employees Only'?" Gus asked dryly.

"Think we could feed some fish before they caught us?"

"And here I thought the idea was to not get kicked out…"

Shawn smirked and picked a real exhibit to check out next. But Gus couldn't stop his feeling of unease now that he knew what to watch for. The jellyfish tanks were extremely popular, with kids running around with their shirts glowing in the blacklight. Which meant in less than five minutes, Gus saw three different people step right in front of Shawn without noticing they were blocking his view. He also saw one kid stop and grin with an outstretched foot. Luckily, Shawn saw it and smoothly stepped out of the way, but it still made Gus seeth that it was something he had to watch out for at all.

Infuriatingly, Shawn seemed completely fine with everything, his small smile illuminated by the soft glow of the strange creatures surrounding them. He shouldn't have to be that used to it.

It was a relief when Gus looked at his watch and realized it was time to make their way to the dolphin tanks. The animals around them were fascinating, but the humans were ruining what had started off as a nice trip.

The dolphin enclosure was the largest room in the aquarium, with their tank running the full length of the wall. It was clear that they knew what time it was, as they flipped and spun through the water excitedly. Gus found a corner in the back where he wouldn't have to worry about other people around them. The view wasn't as good, but they could still see enough as an employee started talking through a microphone. "Hello everybody, and welcome to the aquarium! My name is Anne and I'll be introducing you to our flippery friends here…"

A diver splashed into the water to join the animals, and the speaker went on to tell the crowd the dolphins' names and what species they were. Gus tried to listen as the show went on, but it was all basic information that he already knew. Instead, he watched the dolphins' graceful fast movements and their effortless mastery of the water.

It was amazing, but it also filled him with a yearning to be even a fraction as confident and as sure of himself as they were.

"I always wanted to ride a dolphin," Shawn said quietly.

Gus' attention snapped to him, the show fading into the background. There were people all around them, and that was what Shawn thought was worth speaking up for?

Shawn smiled fondly, his eyes distant. "My class took a field trip here, and I managed to sneak away from the teachers. I had it all planned out, brought my scuba mask, even knew where the security guards were around the dolphin tank. But Dad found the plans I'd drawn on the map and caught me. RIP the dream."

Gus couldn't stop his stare. Shawn sharing stories from his past twice in one day was a coincidence, but three times was a pattern. What was going on in his brain? He'd known something was wrong this morning; he should have trusted his gut.

He needed to know what was going on, and he wasn't afraid to play dirty to do it. "You said today was a day for me, right?"

Shawn blinked in surprise, looking caught off guard by the question. "Yes…?"

"Ok. For my day, I want you to answer something completely truthfully."

Shawn hesitantly nodded in agreement.

It was best to not beat around the bush. "Why do you keep bringing up your past today?"

Shawn frowned like he thought the answer was obvious before his expression cleared into a look of resignation. His shoulders slumped as he answered, "At Christmas, you said you liked knowing that stuff… Is it different now? After I– Is it not right anymore?"

"Oh," was all Gus could say as his reality shifted and he saw things through Shawn's eyes. He'd thought he'd been so clever with his idea of a gift on Christmas, but it hadn't occurred to him that Shawn would start using his memories like currency. Which was a huge oversight. "I do still like knowing about you. About your past," he answered slowly. He couldn't let Shawn think he didn't care. That things had changed that much. "But you don't need to do that."

"You didn't need to let me go back to the station," Shawn answered, his voice barely legible over the woman's voice droning through the speakers.

He kept coming back to that, but how did he not understand? "It was important to you."

The way Shawn had looked at him, the obvious need to do something more. How could Gus have told him no?

"It shouldn't have been important…" Shawn dragged his eyes up, almost like he was forcing himself to take in the show. "I should be happy. Here. With you."

Gus snorted before he could stop himself. If that had been true, then Shawn wouldn't have tried to run. It wasn't that he didn't want it to be true, but that wasn't something he could will into existence. Shawn would never be happy just watching from the sidelines… he'd always be the kid who wanted to ride a dolphin.

Even though Shawn had said he didn't know if he could ever be happy with Gus -and it was now obvious that he'd been trying to force himself to be happy all day- they both knew the truth. How could he ever be happy with that collar around his neck?

But he'd been happy in the police station… Or, at least, happier.

"You shouldn't be anything that isn't you," Gus said as conviction ran through his body. It was the first thing he'd been completely sure about all day. His mind started racing as he looked back at the tank, watching the animals dance through the water without a care in the world. Shawn deserved that. He deserved more.

Gus didn't have all of the answers, but an inkling of a plan started to make itself known as the show ended. Things couldn't stay the same, that much was obvious. And he didn't know how to fix everything. But he might be able to at least change things for the better.

They needed to go back home. He had some research to do.

A/N: Technically, Shabby isn't supposed to show up in the aquarium for several years, but screw the timeline. Somehow slavery meant he got hurt ten years early. Or it's Shabby Sr. and the one that gets shot is Shabby Jr. Pick your poison.

I'm so happy to be back, thank you everyone who came back with me!