He had wanted her to deny it, to give him some other explanation which would kill his unwanted theory stone cold.
Because he doesn't want to be right about the Marshall, the last thing he wants is to be right.
But when she doesn't deny it, when her face crumples and she starts crying he knows he is infuriatingly dead on target.
Oh fuck, the voice in his head says as he's holding her close. He did rape her.
He feels like there's a knife twisting sharp into his heart, and he doesn't know why it's hit him so hard.
In Jack's arms Kate feels like half of the weight that's been crushing her since she left Australia has been lifted.
No one knew about what the Marshal did to her, or about her being pregnant.
In Australia there was no one to tell, and no would believe her even if she tried because she was a liar and a criminal in the custody of someone with a lot of guns. It would have been very easy for the marshal to simply shoot her to shut her up, and claim that she attacked him.
Here on the island she's felt Jack's judgement on her since he found out. It's not that he's said anything to her, it's just that she's felt that she's disappointed him - that she can't be what he wants her to be.
In his arms, she feels like some of that judgement has dissolved, along with his assumptions about how she got pregnant.
Jack's still speaking to her slowly and carefully while he holds her in his arms, the same as when she went crazy in the jungle.
"I'm sorry this happened to you Kate. But you have a lot of friends here. We will all support you. You're not alone."
Kate nods in his arms. Jack feels warm and familiar and it feels safe to be held by him, pressed against his chest.
"Although I don't think you should tell anyone about being pregnant for a while," he adds, after a moment.
He doesn't go into why but he's thinking of the way Claire was taken. If no one knows Kate's pregnant there's less risk to her of the same thing happening.
"I know. I wasn't planning to," Kate says. She knows he's thinking of Claire, but she has her own reasons as well.
He can hear from how unsteady voice is, that while she's stopped crying, more tears could easily be erupt.
After a few moments, Kate steps away from his arms and folds her arms around herself, like she needs the reassurance of her own hug.
She still has tear tracks running down her face, and she swipes a hand over her face like a child.
"Jack I don't want to have this baby. Is there anything you can give me?" Kate's watching him expectantly, hope in her eyes.
Jack's taken aback by her question, and he knows he's going to disappoint her.
"I'm sorry Kate. I don't have any medicine that would do that," he sounds like its painful to say.
"And I've never done that type of surgical procedure and it's too unsafe to try here where I don't know what I'm doing and it's not a sterile environment. Not to mention there's no hospital to take you to if things go wrong. You could die."
Kate gives a quick nod, looking upset but she isn't surprised by his response. Asking was a long shot.
"It's ok. I understand."
"We might get back home soon and then you would have that option," Jack offers, knowing it's possible, but not likely.
Kate nods again. "Maybe," she replies, halfheartedly, knowing it's not likely too.
Kate goes back to sit in her seat, returning to hatch duty, feeling awkward and emotionally drained from the day's events.
Her hands feel a little unsteady. Hopefully by the time they need to enter the code they will have stopped trembling.
Jack sits down beside her, and falls silent for a few moments.
"Do you have any injuries?," Jack asks.
He can see Kate's confused by his question.
"From when the Marshall ..." he hesitates to find the right word, "attacked you."
Kate shakes her head, looking uncomfortable. "Not now."
The handcuff sores have faded and the pain in her back has eased now.
Jack's quick to catch on that she was hurt at the time.
"So you were injured," Jack questions sharply.
Kate looks down, feeling ashamed and awkward. "My back was really sore for a couple of days. And my wrists from the handcuffs."
Jack's processing this in his brain, and he's hit by a sudden wave of anger.
What did the Marshal do to Kate while she was in handcuffs that injured her back? And how dare he think he could abuse his position so shamefully when Kate literally couldn't find back, or even report the crime to anyone else, given the marshal was the sole agent of US law in Australia.
"Will you let me look at your back?" Jack asks, all concern.
Kate nods then gets up and lifts her top up slightly to expose the lower half of her back.
"It was sore near the bottom of my back. It's not so bad now, only gets bad if I walk for too long or if I lift something heavy."
Jack starts pressing his fingers into the small of her back, palpating it, and asking her a series of questions.
He wants to ask her how this happened, both because he wants to know what exactly went on, and because it would help him better diagnose what's wrong.
But he holds back because she's already been in tears once today and he doesn't want to push her beyond her limits.
After another series of questions he decides she's strained one of the ligaments in her lower back.
He tells her it will get better with time, provided she's careful not to strain it further.
"You can't do any heavy lifting, Kate. And we'll have to watch you carefully once your ...pregnancy progresses because the extra strain on your back could worsen things."
Kate nods, looking resigned, and shifts her top down lower. "Ok."
Kate turns away from him.
"I don't want to talk about this any more," Kate announces. "Let's talk about other things."
Jack's not surprised by her announcement, it's been a heavy conversation and she's shown a lot of trust in him by telling him as much as she has.
Kate gets up and walks up to the records and starts fingering through them, asking him for his opinion on the records as she pulls out one after another.
Jack watches her, dishing out his opinions on his likes and dislikes.
But he's still thinking about the Marshall.
When he looks at Kate he can see exactly why the Marshal was tempted.
Kate's flat out 1 in 1000 gorgeous. Cat green eyes, shiny copper wavy hair, too pretty face, slim figure with small pert breasts.
He's a man, he can't fail to notice this, every hour of every day that he's with her.
And he's felt his most primitive instincts stir (mostly in his pants) when he's ended up too close to her.
But at the same time, the things that make Kate so desirable also make her vulnerable.
The Marshall would be six inches taller than her, twice her weight and muscle mass.
Jack thinks there's a fine line between desire and self control. And sometimes that's the only thing holding civilization together, because without it there's only lawless chaos.
He thinks about how many times he's wanted Kate, how many times he's had the urge to push her up against a tree and kiss her senseless, and then do a whole lot more.
It's only his self control that's held him back from doing that.
And yet, he thinks that even if he did that, if she didn't want him, if she was crying at him to stop, he would stop right away.
Because there's no way that he could ever hurt Kate - there's no way he could ever exploit his greater strength and weight to hurt her the way the Marshal did.
He watches as Kate runs her hands along the bookcase.
He wishes there was some way to undo the harm the Marshal has done to Kate, to go back in time and be there to protect her from him.
He wishes he has something sitting in his medicine cabinet that would erase the evidence of the marshal violating Kate from her womb, once and for all, discreetly and safely.
But as much as he wants to he can't fix her, and he can't erase the past, or the damage it's left behind.
So he's just going to have to do the best he can for Kate in this world, right now.
He's standing at the sink half an hour later doing the dishes, while Kate is wiping them beside him.
Kate is mocking him about some of his most uncool record choices, and he's passionately defending his decisions, because he knows he's right, even when wrong.
Kate breaks into the smile for the first time that day, and it's been a long and difficult day.
Her smile is like sunshine to him, warming his heart, and it sticks with him long after she's left to walk back to the beach.
It's only when he's in the shower still pondering why he's spent so long obsessing over Kate, how the Marshal hurt her, and what can be done to help her now, that he pauses to think about why he can't get her out of his head.
And then in the back of his brain, there's something like a little voice, quiet but insistent.
Because you love her.
And he doesn't know if its true or not, but it keeps repeating and it just won't go away.
thanks to everyone who has been reviewing the story and please keep reviewing to let me know how you like it. Also Merry Christmas!