Chapter Seven - A Detective, a Squid, And The Death God's Daughter

[[Timeline 2 / November 16, 2020 - Ninomae Ina'nis's apartment]]

Me and Ina have just ended a stream, and are now doing the regular post stream routine of cleaning up and putting away the equipment.

"We sure drank a lot today." Ina says, picking up all the bottles littered around her table. "Yeah, I'm all *hic* gassed up right now *hic*." I say, hiccups running wild. "Haha, that sounds a little gross." Ina laughs. "You're just being juvenile." I retort and Ina snickers.

*knock knock*

Suddenly, we hear knocking at the door.

"Should I *hic* go get that?" I ask Ina, who's busy with the bottles. "Yeah, thanks." Ina replies, still sorting out the trash.

I walk over to the door and twist the knob, opening it to reveal a familiar face.

"Ame! You're here." Cali says, surprised. "Yeah, I just *hic* did a colab with Ina. So what's the reason for your visit?" I ask, leaning on the door post. "I was gonna ask Ina to look after her." Cali tilts her head down to reveal a small girl holding onto her hand. "Oh... hello."

[Kobo Kanaeru - Indonesia's rain shaman]

"Ooh, who's this little one?" Ina says, standing behind me. "Uh... so, this is my kid." Cali says awkwardly. "Wait a minute, isn't this Kobo Kanaeru from Hololive Indonesia? She's yours!?" Ina asks, shouting out of surprise. "Yeah, it's a long story." Cali says, unwilling to explain. Though, I wouldn't need an explanation since I already know everything.

"I got some really urgent work to do, so could you two please take care of her?" Cali says as she gives a polite bow. "Of course we can, we'd love to take care of little Kobo, right Amelia?" Ina asks, looking at me expectantly. "Oh yeah, sure. We'd love to." I say, giving Cali a thumbs up. "Really!? Thank you guys so much." Cali then hugs the two of us and shakes us wildly. "Wahwahwah." We gurgle as our bodies are rocked, shaking around our tiny little brains. "Ehee." Seeing our silly sight, Kobo lets out a little giggle. Hearing her cute laugh, I shoot her a glance, but she looks away as our eyes meet.

Cali lets go of us and grabs her scythe. "Well, I gotta get going now. I'll be back before dinner so you don't have to worry about putting her to sleep or anything like that." Cali then kneels down to speak to Kobo eye to eye. "Alright Kobo, dad's gonna go to work now, you listen to auntie Ina and auntie Amelia okay?" Kobo looks at her dad and nods her head. "Okay."

Kobo walks inside and Cali steps away from the door. "Thanks once again guys, I really owe you one."

Cali then closes her eyes, forming a pool of water under her, skeletons reaching their hands out of the puddle. She slowky sinks under the water until her head is fully submerged, the puddle slowly closing in on itself.

"That's some transportation... didn't even leave behind a single drop." Ina remarks.

Ina placed her hand on Kobo's back and takes her inside. "Make yourself at home Kobo." She takes a nervous step inside, and shyly sits on the couch.

"She's still a little shy." Ina whispers into my ear. "Yeah, but she doesn't act like this during her streams, maybe we just need to ease her in with some questions." I whisper back. "That's a good idea. You know alot about the other members." Ina responds. "Yeah, I like to do research on the other girls." I say before walking over to Kobo.

I take a seat next to her and ask her a simple question from my interviewing days. "Kobo, were you given birth to, or were you hatched?" Hearing my question, Ina and Kobo give astonished expressions. "Huh!?" "What the hell!?" Says Ina and Kobo respectively. "You heard me Kobo, did your mommy Kiara give birth to you, or did she lay you." I ask Kobo again, not letting this question go. Ina interrupts, "Wait, mommy Kiara? This is the first I've heard of this." I ignore her. My curiosity feuling me, I ask again. "So what is it, little Kobo?" Kobo looks at me timidly, like she's intimidated by my quest for intellectual fulfilment. "Uhm... I was [][][][][][][]."

Woah. So it was one of the two, huh. Interesting how it was that one, very eye opening.

I excitedly look at Kobo and ask another question. "So how did your parents copula-" "No! No!". Ina covers my mouth, stopping me from speaking.


"Auntie Amelia's scary." Kobo says, sitting right next to Ina, and far away from me. "She is, isn't she?" Ina says, patting her head. "Why are you agreeing with her!?" I shout, hurt by my friends crushing betrayal. She just giggles in response.

Ina looks down at the little shaman and asks, "How old are you Kobo?" Kobo looks down on her hands and counts with her fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... "Maybe about six... or seven..." huh? something's not quite right about that. "Wow! You're a big girl now Kobo." Ina says, giving her another pat. "Hehe yeah." Kobo gives a big smile.

I look at Kobo and ask her a regular question this time, in a friendly, goochi goo voice. "What kinda shows do you watch Kobo? Do you like Mickey Mouse." Kobo furrows her brow. "I'm an adult! I don't watch baby shows like that." I look at her with a grin, "Is that why you can never start a stream without another member accompanying you?" Kobo puffs her cheeks. "I can stream by myself, they just don't let me."

"Hey, that reminds me. Why are you here in America, Kobo?" Ina asks, trying to change the subject and stop me from teasing little Kobo. "Oh, mommy Kiwawa asked me to visit. She said she really wanted to see me." Kobo says, a wide smile on her face. "That's sweet! You're really close to your mom aren't you Kobo!" Ina says. "Yeah! I love her a lot." Kobo says, her smile growing wilder. "And how about your dad? You love her too?" I ask, wanting to join in on the sweetness. "Yeah! I think she's really cool, I want to be like her one day." Kobo says, swinging around an imaginary scythe.

Ina's face changes a bit as she thinks, then she asks Kobo a question. "So if you're here to visit your parents, then does that mean that they don't live with you in Indonesia?" Kobo looks up at Ina and replies, "Yeah, they said it's for my safety. I kinda miss them, but everyone in Indonesia is nice and they take care of me." Ina looks at Kobo sympathetically. "It sucks that you can't be with them but, they're doing this because they love you." Kobo looks down a little dejected. "I know, but it's a little lonely." Ina pats Kobo on the head and gives her a soft smile. "It's ok Kobo, if you ever get lonely, you can just call me and auntie Amelia." Ina looks at me, expecting an answer. "Oh, yeah! Totally! Anytime." I say, holding up a finger phone next to my ear. Kobo looks up at me, all cheered up. "Okay! I'll do that!"


Ina stands up and heads towards the kitchen. "Would you like anything to eat Kobo?" Kobo raises her hands in excitement. "Yeah!"

Sifting through the pantry Ina asks, "What do you wanna eat?" Kobo rubs her chin and puts her game face on. "Uuuuuhhhhhh... I dunno..." pulling out a bag of chips, Ina suggests, "How about chips?" Kobo grimaces a little bit. "I dunno, it's a bit salty for me." Ina then walks over to the fridge and pulls out a little bag of chocolates. "What about some sweets?"

A sparkle appears in Kobo's eyes, and then it was quickly extinguished. "I'm not allowed to eat chocolates for a while. Yesterday, dad gave me a whole bag and mommy got so mad, that she almost burn down the whole house." Yikes, Kiara's scary.

Ina makes a disappointed face. "Sorry Kobo, these are the only thing I've got." Kobo makes an even more disappointed face. "Oh..." she says, drooping her arms like a melted Kobo-cicle

Remembering our stream earlier today, I make a suggestion, "What about soda?" Ina and Kobo perk up. "That's a good idea Ame." Ina says. Before opening the fridge once again. Ina asks Kobo, "Do you like soda, Kobo?" And she excitedly replies, "Yeah!"

Ina looks carefully through the fridge.

...

...

*slam*

The fridge door closes.

Ina opens the freezer.

...

...

*slam*

The freeze door closes.

Ina looks carefully through the fridge.

Ina pulls out the bag of chocolates.

"How about we just don't tell your mom about this."

"Ok!"

Kobo munches.


"Aaaaah! Aaaaaah!" Kobo cries. She had scraped her leg during a game of extreme tako tag, leaving behind a decent sized wound. "Ame! Do something! You're a doctor, right?" Ina says, looking at the stethoscope hanging around my neck. "Yeah, but with a minor wound like this, there's not much we can do besides disinfecting it and putting on a bandage." I tell Ina.

Kobo's cries continue, actually, I think they're getting louder. "So how do we get her to stop crying." Ina says frantically, patting Kobo on the back. "I have no idea." I say, desperately thinking back to my past experience with children. But as far as I can remember, my mom would always be the one to cheer up crying kids.

I briefly consider calling Kiara, but I don't want to tell her that her child hurt herself during a game of extreme tako tag.

"Hey Kobo it's ok, it's ok. It's just a little boo boo." Ina says, attempting to comfort Kobo. Her cries are getting quieter, but it doesn't look like she'll stop soon.

Seeing no other option, I take one of the syringes from my leg and inject it into my head.

Injecting one of these concoctions into your head increases your mental capacity drastically. Even if someone like Gura took one of these, her mental prowess would rival that of a Harvard professor. And If I use one of them, my mental performance reaches the level of Sherlock Holmes.

Formulating the anti-weeping strategy, I look towards Kobo, and initiate my plan.

First, distract target. I launch my cap towards her opticals, obstructing her vision.

Next, as she attempts to relocate my cap to a location aside from her face, I counter with a cross to left cheek.

*Smack*

"Ame, what the fuck!?"

Discombobulate. Slapping both ears with my palms, I hear a loud, resounding

*Smack*

"Ame, stop it!"

Onto to the final step, traumatise solar plexus. A straight punch just above the stomach is enough to knock her out.

In summary, she's sleeping. not crying. Time for physical recovery, 6 minutes. Time for mental recovery, 6 minutes, also.

"Ame, what the hell did you do!?" Ina yells, latching onto my shoulder blades. "I simply carried out the optimal plan." I utter, stating the obvious truth. "Why is that the optimal plan!? You couldn't have given her a piece of candy or something!?" Ina agitates my body, moving it from one side to another. "It's elementary, my dear Ina." I concur, beginning to explain my methodology. However, Ina interrupts me with her senseless ramblings. "Ohmygod! Cali's gonna kill us!"

Ina is such a simple person.


Cali called and said that she's almost done with her work, so we're playing some Mario Kart to pass the time.

I lean over to the little racer and ask her a question, "Hey Kobo... you doing ok?" She takes a break from the game and looks at me. "Yeah, I'm ok."

"And do you remember what auntie Amelia did to you before you went to sleep?" I say in the most conspicuous way possible. "What? What did you do auntie?" Kobo asks. Guess she forgot about the discombobulating. "Nothing, psh. I just used a spell to make your pain go away." I say, waving my hand In a casting motion. "Then why does my cheek hurt?" Kobo asks, touching it. "Nothing! It's nothing!" I start the game, drawing her attention away from her question.


As we play, I notice that Kobo's pretty good, so much so that she's managed to get first place in every match we have. Now, that wouldn't be a problem if she would just... SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

"Woo! I won again!" Kobo waves her arms in the air in celebration. I throw my controller to the ground. "FU-" Ina places her finger on my mouth. "No."

Kobo does a little happy dance and hits me with a, "You mad auntie Amelia? You mad?" Now I wish she had stayed as the shy Kobo I met earlier today.

"Let's go one more time Kobo!" I shout. With the most smug face on the planet she says, "Ok! One more win for me!"

Before the match begins, I grab the other syringe from my leg and inject it into my head. Ina looks at me disappointed, "Are you seriously taking drugs to beat a six year old in Mario Kart?" I procure my input device and snarkily remark, "Shut up, she could be seven."

Ina plants her face in her palm.


I'm in the leading position, Kobo in close proximity. It's around the end of the final lap, we're encroaching upon the finish line.

"Haha! yes! I'm gonna beat you." I exclaim, just about prepared to burst out of the sheer amount of excitement I am currently experiencing. "No fair! You're cheating!" Kobo complains, throwing accusations out of frustration. "She literally is." Ina utters succinctly.

The finish line lay clearly in sight, my victory all but determined when suddenly, an azul animal apparatus (Blue Shell) falls from the heavens. My vehicle loses balance, allowing Kobo to gain the advantage and snatch the victory from my hands.

"LET'S GO!" Kobo howls wildly in arrogance, having bested me in this competition through sheer luck and dependence on the digital entertainment's artificial intelligence. "GREAT SCOTT!" I exclaim in frustration, Before quickly reclaiming my composure. "Excuse me ladies, I'll be heading to the bathroom real quick."

I walk towards Ina's comfort room and rotate the knob, allowing me to enter. I inhale deeply before reconsidering my next choice: should I reverse the timeline to beat this six to seven year old in a kart racing video game?

In summary, yes.

I take hold of my pocket watch's hands and reverse them by five minutes.

[[Timeline 3 / November 16, 2020 - Ninomae Ina'nis's apartment]]

*bleeerghhh*

I immediately experience the vertigo that accompanies time travel, causing me to retch intensely into Ina's toilet.

"Ame? Is that you?" Ina questions, hearing of my violent retching. "Yeah! I'll be right there!" I shout, assuring her of my presence in her comfort room.

Before exiting, I mus'nt forget to,

*flush*

I travel towards the sofa and place myself on one of the cushions. Ina looks towards me with worry and questions, "Are you okay Ame? I heard you throwing up in there." I give her an assuring expression and answer. "Don't worry about it, it was probably just cause' of all the soda we drank." She looks at me concerned once again but refrains from questioning me further. "If you say so."

"More importantly, you wanna go one more time Kobo?" I question as I procure my input device once again. "Ok! One more win for me!" She says, with similar arrogance as the first instance.


It's the final stretch of the last lap. This time, I make sure to stay in second place in anticipation for the blue shell.

"Haha! I'm gonna win!" Kobo celebrates prematurely, unaware of her fate. "We'll see about that." I say with a cocky grin.

Just as I remembered, the blue shell flies towards Kobo and hits her. Causing her to fall behind, allowing me to steal first place and get the victory.

I jump up in celebration. "Yes! Hahahahaha!" Kobo throws her controller in frustration. "No!" I walk in front of Kobo and do a little happy dance. "Haha! I won! I won!" Ina facepalms and tells me disappointedly, "I can't believe you're jumping for joy because you beat a six year old." I give Ina a manic look. "You don't know how much I've been through to get this, Ina." Ina recoils in fear(?), disgust(?) "I don't even wanna- like- I'll just let you have your moment."

As I torment little Kobo a little more, we hear knocking on the door. "Oh shoot." Kobo runs towards the door. "I'm telling dad!" I quickly chase after her and run towards the door.

*Slam*

"Agh!" I had run into the door due to my immense speed. "Ame?" Says the voice behind the door. "I'm fine." I say as I open the door.

I lean on the door post, "Hey Cali." She gives a slightly amused look. "Uh, hey Ame."

Kobo squeezes her way on out of Ina's apartment. "Dad!" Cali brings her in for a hug. "Kobo! How were auntie Amelia and auntie Ina?" Kobo gives me a smug, 'checkmate' look. "They were really nice! They played with me and gave me chocolates!" Kobo then looks at me and sticks her tongue out. That cheeky bugger, I really thought she was gonna tell on me. Cali gives Kobo a head pat. "That's great!"

She then looks at us. "Thank you guys for taking good care of Kobo. I really appreciate it." Ina, standing behind me says, "Don't worry about it. We had fun. Especially Ame." "Heh heh." I awkwardly laugh.

"Well, we gotta get going now. Can't keep the chef waiting." Cali says, grabbing Kobo's hand along with her scythe. "Bye guys." Cali says as the skeleton puddle forms under her. "Bye bye!" Kobo waves her free hand wildly. "Bye bye!" Me and Ina wave goodbye as the pair sink into the puddle beneath them.

Ina looks at me, curious. "Can't keep the chef waiting?" I answer her with an assumption, "Probably an underworld skely-chef." Ina nods her head. "Ah, makes sense."

I walk back inside Ina's apartment and gather my things. "I think it's about time I left too." Ina grabs my bag from the sofa and hands it to me. "It was fun today, drinking soda and playing with Kobo." I smile remembering the activities we had today. "Kobo's really fun." Ina gives me a cheeky look. "Fun to hit?" I respond flustered, "I was on drugs, ok!" Ina responds coldly, "I don't think that's a good excuse."

I walk out of Ina's apartment and stand right outside the door. "Bye Ina. I had a great time today." She waves goodbye, "I had a great time too. We should collab more often." I reply with an enthusiastic smile. "We should."

After exchanging our final goodbyes, I walk away from her door and head towards the elevator. As I walk, I suddenly get a phone call. It's from Cali.

I pick up. "Hey Cali, what's up." Cali responds with a tone that's a mixture of anger and concern. "Why does Kobo have a bruise on her face!?"

Oh shoot.

|—|

Author's notes:

A nice, funny chapter. I really like Kobo, she's quite a funny chap if I do say so myself. I hope that I portrayed her goofiness correctly.

Now that I realise it, Amelia is kinda goofy in this chapter too. I think it's funny so I won't change it.

Writing this kinda goofy chapter was fun, though there won't be much more of these from now on.

By the way! Amelia smacking the stuffing out of Kobo was a Sherlock Holmes reference, so don't go thinking that she's a serial child beater okay!?

Anyways, goodbye for now, this is Yur3i blasting off.

*Crash*

*Boom*