(Publishing one chapter a week until the end of Part 5)

Chapter 130: Somebody To Love

"There's going to be a massacre."

Bright noon light blazed through a room of groggy souls. It had been a slow, begrudging awakening this morning: some of them nursed hangovers, while others blinked sleep from dark eyes. Four of them were glowing, lazy, contented smiles on their faces: Alicia and Lavian on one side, Beowulf and Reis on the other. Val had brought Faris in from the Invincible: the pirate captain was pale and looked particularly irritable, and moved with a slight limp.

Physically, Ovelia was in better condition than most. Mentally, she felt stretched to the breaking point, as thin and brittle as when Delita had taken her to Bethla Garrison. After Delita had interrupted her and Ramza on the beach last night, she had stormed back to her bedroom, and spent hours staring up into the darkness, haunted by her thoughts.

"Larg and Goltanna are making their move," Delita continued. "Which means the Church is making it's move...which mean means the Lucavi are making theirs." He ran a hand across his own weary face. "Templar forces are building something in the Bethla Wastes; some kind of poison bomb. They'll use this bomb to devastate the Hokuten and the Nanten in one stroke. At the same time as the armies are collapsing, Church agents in both armies are supposed to decapitate the leadership." His dark eyes flickered towards Ramza. "Someone's supposed to take out Larg...and your brothers, I assume. And Val and I are supposed to take out Goltanna, and the Thundergod...and Ovelia."

A few gasps and glares from the others. Ovelia kept her face carefully neutral.

"We're obviously not going to do that," Val growled.

Delita nodded. "Obviously. And even before we learned about the Lucavi, we didn't want to let the Hokuten and the Nanten slaughter each other." He took a deep breath. "Both armies are counting on their "allies" in the other camp. If we keep the assassins from doing their jobs, and stop this bomb, I think we can at least buy time to figure out a path to lasting peace." He looked around the room. "But for obvious reasons...my Black Sheep and I can't deal with the bomb in the Bethla Wastes."

"Meaning you need us," Ramza said. Delita nodded, and Ramza shot a wry look around the room. "What do we think the chances are that he's sending us into another trap?

Ovelia felt something that was not quite a laugh bubble up in the back of her throat. She bit it back.

"Technically I'm asking you to disarm a trap set for others," Delita said, and the wry defensiveness in his tone startled a few laughs out of the room. "But I will admit, it is fairly trap-adjacent." He locked eyes with Ramza. "Are you willing?"

Ramza took a moment, and looked around the room. Every one of the strange company he'd assembled nodded back at him. He locked eyes with Delita, and the two regarded each other for a long time. Finally, he nodded.

"Thank you." Delita's vocie was all gratitude and relief. "Captain Faris and Valerie will see you there."

Mustadio frowned. "In the Invincible?" he asked. "It seems risky..."

"We'll make the journey in the Invincible," Faris confirmed. "But we'll anchor at sea, and take you the rest of the way on the Inquisitor's skiff."

Ramza's head snapped around to Faris. "What?"

Faris nodded to Delita. "One of his Sheep brought it back to us this morning. Apparently, the Inquisitor will proceed to Mullonde by caravan. Since he had no need of the skiff, he offered it to us as a..." She paused, and fished a crumpled piece of paper from a trouser pocket. "As a loan, the same as the Stone."

Ramza and Ovelia laughed. "Simon was right," Ovelia said. "He's a good man."

"He is," Ramza agreed.

"We've taken as much time as we can afford," Delita said. His voice was just a hair too casual, his posture just a little too relaxed. Ovelia's eyes flickered towards him. "All of us need to get moving, if we're going to have any chance of stopping this."

"You get started," Ovelia said. "I want to talk to them first."

Delita stared at her for a moment, then nodded, and left the room. Faris and Val followed, though Val threw Ovelia a curious glance over her shoulder.

Melia, Rafa, and Malak, all stood, as well. "We're happy to leave as well, Your Majesty-" Melia began.

Ovelia shook her head. "Please." She nodded to the others. "If they trust you, I trust you."

Slowly, the three of them sat down. Agrias cleared her throat. "Are you well, Your Majesty?"

Ovelia nodded. "I am well," she said. "But I am not your Majesty."

No one spoke for a moment.

"Meaning...?" Alicia prompted, one thin eyebrow raised.

"Meaning..." Ovelia took a deep breath. "Ovelia Atkascha, daughter of Denamda, died before she was two years old. I was her replacement." She closed her eyes.

"Your Majesty..." The confusion in Agrias' voice was painful. "What are you..."

"The Council of Lords was afraid of Louveria, even then," Ovelia said. It took effort to speak. "They didn't want her to decide the future of Ivalice. So they found someone to pretend to be a dead princess." She took another deep breath, and kept her eyes screwed tight. She couldn't bear to look at their faces. "No royal blood flows through my veins. I am a tool, to keep the throne from Louveria and Larg. The Council used me then. The Church uses me now."

For a long time, no one spoke.

"And?" Lavian asked.

Ovelia creaked open her eyes. Lavian was watching her, her head cocked to one side, nonplussed. Ovelia blinked, searched for the right words.

"You swore to protect a Princess," Ovelia said. "I'm not one."

"Right," Alicia agreed. "You're our Queen."

"No, I..." Ovelia shook her head. "I was never a Princess."

"No, I'm pretty sure you were." Lavian looked around the room. "Right?"

Agrias nodded curtly. "A member of the royal family, in line for the throne."

Ovelia shook her head. "No, I'm-"

"Queen Louveria married her way into power, did she not?" Agrias' brow was furrowed, as though in confusion. "That you were adopted into it seems no less suspect-"

"That's not the same!" Ovelia protested. "It's..."

She trailed off. Lavian and Agrias were so determinedly serious that she'd almost missed the smiles they were barely fighting off, but Ramza, Radia, Alicia, and Mustadio were making no efforts to hide theirs.

Radia took Ovelia's hand in hers. "I can't speak for the Lionesses," Radia said. "But for me and Ramza, this started as a job." She squeezed Ovelia's hand. "Didn't stay that way for long."

"Don't exclude yourself from our number, Radia." Agrias said gruffly, with an awkward pat on Radia's shoulder, as Radia dropped Ovelia's hand. "You're one of us." When she lifted her eyes to Ovelia, they were so full of love that Ovelia's heart cracked in her chest. "Did you really think we loved you only for your parentage?"

Ovelia shook her head. "You've...almost died for me, so many times-

"Because you were our Princess," Agrias said. "And because you are our Queen." She knelt: one by one, everyone else in the room followed her.

Ovelia didn't know what to say. The crack in her heart seemed to be leaking sunlight.

"Do you wish us to stay, Your Majesty?" Agrias asked.

Ovelia blinked. "What?"

"We are your Lionesses," Agrias said. "You are in danger. Our place is at your side." She lifted her head, and her eyes were fierce and bright, with just a hint of tears. "We would stand by you again."

Without a word, Ovelia knelt in front of her guard captain, and hugged her. This time, Agrias did not resist her. She folded her strong arms around her, and they held each other, and Ovelia did not want to let go.

"I would give almost anything to keep you here," Ovelia whispered, and then raised her voice. "If I could have you all standing at my side..." Her voice shook, and she felt tears burning in her own eyes. She swallowed down the tears, swallowed down her fears.

"But what you've told me...about demons, and dragons, and...and Alma..." Her eyes flickered to Ramza. His head was still bowed, but she thought she could see the pain on his face. "I can't...fix those things. And all of you...you might be the only ones who can." She squeezed Agrias tight. "So please. Keep fighting. And...stay alive."

"You have my word," Agrias whispered.

"And mine," Lavian said.

"And mine," Alicia added.

One by one, they gave her their word—even Rafa, Malak, and Melia. The darkness that had lapped at the edges of her mind the last few days sank back to a comfortable distance.

There wasn't much time. They all had so much to do. She helped them gather their clothes and supplies, ignoring their half-hearted protests. She shook hands with Beowulf, hugged Reis for Alma's sake, wished Melia well. She spoke with Rafa and Malak, too solemn for their ages. With her Lionesses, she cried, and whispered old jokes, and held them once again.

Soon, these blessed days of rest and ease would end. Soon, it would be back to the gilded cage of Zeltennia, and to the strings of her masters. As for the one comfort she'd come to count on in that time...well, Delita had shown what he was, too often for her to ignore it.

She paced the nearly-empty halls of the Royal Retreat with a bittersweet melancholy in her steps. She found Ramza coming up the stairs, with a harried look on his tan face.

"Thought you'd be outside," Ovelia said.

"Looking for Radia," Ramza answered. "Have you seen her?"

"Not since..." Ovelia gestured vaguely down the stairs, to the salon beneath them, where she'd made her confession, and had her confession ignored.

"Right." Ramza was quiet for a moment. "Thank you. For last night."

Ovelia laughed. "You were that eager to get me naked."

Ramza's cheeks went pink. "Wha...no, Your Majesty, I..." He closed his eyes and grimaced. "That's a little mean."

Ovelia laughed again. "Sorry." Saint Above, how strange her mood. Wild and mercurial as the sea churning under a storm.

Her laughter faded. Ramza was not quite looking at her.

"Did you mean it?" Ramza asked, and lifted his green eyes (so like his sister's) to hers. "That we're the only ones who can..."

He trailed off, but he didn't have to finish: Ovelia was already nodding. "You've the strength, and the means..." She locked eyes with his, tried to show all her faith in him and the others through her gaze. "And the courage."

Ramza lowered his eyes, and shook his head. "I'm not sure that's true."

Ovelia laughed once more. "I know, Ramza. Alma told me that about you, long before I met you."

Ramza was quiet for a moment. "I'm always...so afraid," Ramza said at last. "When...when the people I love tell me...that they believe in me. That they see these...things in me. Things they admire." He shook his head again. "I can't...can't quite believe them. I'm so much slower, so much weaker, no much less clever. I can't..."

"You can," Ovelia said. "You have."

"So have you," Ramza said, his eyes flickering towards her. "And you still thought we only served you because of your name."

Ovelia flushed in turn.

The silence hung between them a little longer. Finally, Ramza said, "But it's...important. My fear. My doubt. I question...everything. Sometimes I can't stand it. But..." He lifted his green eyes, and they were brighter than his sister's had ever been, practically blazing. "But that means...when I act, I know it's because it matters. I'm sure, like I'm never sure. I'm strong, like I'm never strong." He lifted a hesitant hand to his chest. "It's...part of what makes me...me."

Ovelia smiled. "Yeah. It is." She paused, then added, "You're looking for Radia?"

Ramza nodded. "I was gonna check upstairs-"

"I haven't seen her, but maybe you'll have better luck." She jerked her head to the staircase behind Ramza. "I'll check downstairs for you, too."

"Thanks." He smiled, and they passed each other, working together even though they were headed to separate destinations.

To her surprise, it didn't take long to find Radia. She heard her voice, coming from the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," Radia was saying, out of sight as Ovelia approached. "About Teta."

Ovelia froze. Her hair prickled.

"I..." Radia continued, hesitating. "I really liked her."

"Thank you," Delita's voice was stiff. Ovelia's insides were cold.

She held herself utterly still just outside the kitchen, not daring to make a sound.

"You know he loves you." Radia's voice was quiet, slightly disapproving.

Delita made a not-quite-laugh. "When Ramza loves you, you can't help but know it." He paused a moment. "I assume you know what I mean."

Radia managed a not-quite-laugh of her own. "Yeah. I guess I do."

"You'll watch out for him?"

This time, Radia's laugh was earnest. "Same as he watches out for me."

"You know what I mean."

A moment's silence. "Yeah." She sighed. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"We have her blessing. The Lionesses, we...we can't stand by her right now, but...but we would, if we could. We're trusting you."

Delita made a strange noise, almost like a whimper. "Would that you didn't have to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" A hint of suspicion in Radia's voice.

"Meaning the last time I tried to keep someone safe..." Delita's voice shook. "My sister, she-"

"This is different." Radia's voice was sympathetic.

"Yes. Only a handful of people thought my sister should die. Whole armies think my queen should."

"That's exactly what I'm fucking talking about," Radia growled. "We're gonna try and put a stop to this war. But we can't do it if we don't know she's as safe with you as she is with us."

Neither of them spoke for a little while. Ovelia hardly dared to breathe.

"I can't keep her safe the same way you could," Delita said. "And if I had my way, you'd be standing by her side." His voice hardened. "But I can keep her safe. I will keep her safe."

"Good." Radia's voice softened. "I'll keep him safe, too."

Over her shoulder, Ovelia heard footsteps. She lifted her voice: "Ramza! I think she's here!"

Ramza rounded the corner, and Radia and Delita emerged from the kitchen. They all froze: Delita opposite Ramza, Radia opposite Ovelia.

"Grabbing a last snack?" Ramza asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Well, who knows when I'll get another royal meal?" Radia asked.

Ovelia snorted. They had brought a rough, rune-etched coldbox with them, storing some meats and treats for their stay here. But they subsisted mostly on chocolates, sandwiches, and lukewarm vegetables. Ovelia knew it was better than road fare (having eaten her fair share of rations in their journey to Lionel), but not by much. "Come back to me, and I'll hold you a damn feast. Maybe make it a national holiday, by royal decree."

"Too generous a reward for your unworthy servants, Your Majesty." Radia sketched an exaggerated bow. Ovelia laughed again. Radia's smile faded, and she looked at Ramza. "Ready if you are."

Ramza did not respond. His eyes were locked with Delita's, the two of them measuring each other as though they stood on opposite sides of an unbridged chasm.

"Be safe," Delita said at last.

"Be good," Ramza replied.

They did not reach for each other. Ramza nodded, and turned to go. Radia took a moment to nod at Delita and hug Ovelia, then followed.

Ovelia started to follow, stopped when she realized Delita wasn't with her. She looked over his shoulder, found him watching her with a sad, strange look in his dark eyes. "Did you hear what you needed to hear?" he asked.

Ovelia almost flinched, but managed to hold herself steady. "Putting on another show for a deluded girl?" she replied.

"Do you mean her, or you?" Delita's head cocked to one side.

Ovelia's jaw clenched, but she said nothing. She started walking again, to see her friends off at the dock. Delita was a step behind her, as he had been so few days ago, when her world had not felt so fragile, and he had not seemed so dangerous. They didn't quite make it out of the Royal Retreat, however: Val was waiting for them at the door. Val stood waiting for them at the door.

"You'll make contact with the Church operatives?" Delita asked.

Val nodded. "They're more likely to trust me than you."

"More the fools they."

"You're leaving?" Ovelia asked.

Val nodded again. "Faris will take us as close as she can, towing the Inquisitor's skiff. Then I'll pilot them into Lake Poescas with one of Faris' crew, and make the rest of the journey overland."

Ovelia frowned. "It's a long way to Zeltennia from Lake Poescas."

"I'm not going to Zeltennia," Val said. "I'm going to Bethla Garrison." She paused, and added, "Same as you."

That was the first Ovelia had heard of it. She shot a suspicious glance between the two of them.

"Goltanna will want you close, when he wins," Val said. "And the Church will want you close, to make sure you can't escape." She smiled. Her eyes were cold as ice. "So you'll work from inside the fort, and I'll work from outside-"

"And if Ramza and the rest do their job, we'll stop it all," Ovelia finished.

Val's smile was wide and savage as a panther's. "You're catching on, Your Majesty." She offered Ovelia a mocking bow, then sauntered out the door.

Delita started to follow Val. When Ovelia didn't move, he stopped to look at her.

"How long have you known?" Ovelia asked. "That everything would be decided at Bethla Garrison?"

Delita shook his head. "Known? Just when the Inquisitor came. Suspected..."

"Suspected," Ovelia repeated. "Right." She closed her eyes. "You killed the Inquisitor last night?"

She felt rather than saw Delita draw a sharp breath. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

"Does Val know?" she asked, and then shook her head. "Sorry, wrong question. Did you tell her?"

Another silence. Ovelia sighed, and opened her eyes to look at him. If you didn't know him as well as she did, you would think he was undisturbed. But she could see that he was slightly paler than he'd been moments ago, could see the tension stretching his old burn tight. She could see the quiet guilt in his dark eyes. She knew how little that guilt mattered.

"You couldn't let him go." Her voice was flat. "You couldn't let him threaten your plans."

"What plans?" Delita asked softly.

"How would I know?" Ovelia asked. "You never share them with anyone. You use us all. You knew which way the war would go. You knew what you would need from us."

Delita shook his head. "I'm not omniscient. Bethla Garrison is the one place you could set a trap that might take them both out: it's the only place they'd both go, confident they could win. Add to that the Foundry the Church has been investigating in the Wastes-"

"When you sent Val after them," Ovelia asked. "Did you know you needed soldiers to go into the Wastes?"

She knew him well enough to see the guilt deepen in his eyes.

"So it's Lionel again," Ovelia said. "Lionel, and lies to all of us, about what you know, and what you plan to do. You let them come here, let us talk to each other, let us all..." She shook her fiercely. "Let us rest, so we can fight for you. You're using them. Just like you're using me."

"And you're not using me?" Delita asked.

"I don't give a shit about me!" Ovelia hissed. "But...but them..." Her voice trembled—she wasn't sure if it was with tears, or with rage. "They deserve better."

She moved towards the door. Delita stood still this time, and waited until she reached for the handle to say, "Why?"

"Because I love them," Ovelia breathed. "And I thought you...I thought you loved him, at least."

"I do," Delita answered. "Almost as much as I love you."

Her hand froze on the doorknob. She turned, slowly, to face him. "I'm sorry?"

"I love you," he said, and fell to one knee. "I love you, Ovelia."

She shook her head. "That's not...you don't..."

"I do." She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him look so young. "I didn't...expect to." His jaw clenched. "When I made plans to save you, I did it...because you deserved better. And because I was going to use you. Because you were a means to an end."

"What end?" she asked. Her voice sounded so far away.

"An end," he repeated. "An end to wars like this. To the callous cruelties of the powerful, that hurt and torture and kill for their fleeting gain. No more Miludas. No more Tetas. No more Ovelias. If I had to use some people, hurt some people, kill some people...if I had to play the game so I could break it..." He trailed off, shook his head. "But you...you were never what I expected. Not from the first moment I saw you."

"When I ran away from you?" she asked.

Delita laughed. "Yes."

"Or when you punched me?"

Delita's face turned solemn. "Yes."

Anger struck like lightning, and she slapped him across the face with that lightning crackling in her shoulder and burning in her fingers. His head snapped away from her. His eyes were wide and strange.

"You can't stop, can you?" she asked, as her hand stung. "You're lying, even now-"

"I'm not-"

"You are," she said. "Playing at guilt. You don't feel guilty. You needed me to come, and you did what you had to do to drag me along. Just like now."

She felt tears burning her eyes, heard them bubbling in her voice, and turned back to the door. A strong hand caught her in the wrist.

"Please don't go."

She froze where she stood. She dared not look back at Delita. A moment ago, she had never seen him look so young. Now, she had never heard him sound so desperate.

"Please, Ovelia, please, I..." He trailed off again. His grip on her hand weakened, and then his fingers dropped. "No. You're right."

Now she turned to face him. His head was still snapped to one side. His eyes did not meet hers.

"You're right," he repeated. "You can't...trust a word I say. I can barely trust a word I say. I've been doing this for so long...even before I left Ramza's side, I had to be...I had to prove myself, had to be smarter, stronger, sharper, better, keep it together when he lost control, stay focused when he got distracted, I had to..."

"Don't make excuses," she whispered.

"I'm not." He shook his head ever so slightly. "I'm not. I'm...I'm explaining why I...why I can't stop. I'm...always pretending. I don't know how to stop pretending. Even telling you this I'm...I'm not sure if I'm working some angle, trying to make you trust me, make you believe me. I don't know what parts me of are...lies. Not anymore."

"But you...love me?" Ovelia's voice stumbled over the last two words.

Delita's jaw clenched again. "I..." He closed his eyes. "I can't...tell what's...pretend anymore. And I've never...I've never been in love before. But..." He turned his head a fraction of an inch and looked at her through slitted eyes, as though he were trying to stare at the sun. There were tears tracking down his cheeks. "But around you, I feel...like I'm really, truly me. For the first time I can remember. And...and maybe that's pretend, too, but..." His slitted eyes closed, as fresh tears fell. "You remember the Falls?"

"Which time?" she asked. It was the second time that stood out clearest in her memory: when she had stood atop the cliffs, and thought of jumping.

He opened his mouth to answer, closed it and thought for a moment. "The first, more than the second," he said at last. "But...both matter."

"You took an arrow for me," she said, remembering how he had thrown himself in front of her, remembering how desperately he'd fought to keep her safe.

"That wasn't a plan," Delita said. "I don't want to die for my plans. I want to live, and see them through. So I don't know if I'm pretending right now. But I wasn't pretending then. Or the second time. I saw you standing by the cliff. And I...I thought..." He swallowed. "If she jumps, I'm going after her."

She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. "Delita..."

"I've killed too many people to ever claim I'm killing for you," Delita said. "But I would die for you, Ovelia. If that's not love..."

Was it love? How was Ovelia to know? Ovelia, puppet princess consigned to prison after prison after prison, until the right people needed a puppet queen? Ovelia, whose leash was longer than it had ever been, but who could still feel it chafe?

Ovelia, who never felt less leashed than when Delita was standing by her side?

"Alma loves me," Ovelia whispered, looking down at Delita. "Agrias loves me. But they don't...I'm not sure they ever...saw me. All of me. Not just...who I was. Not what I'd gone through, or what I had to face, but...but what I could be."

"I love them," she said. "They love me. They made my life worth living, when it felt...really, really hopeless. But you?"

She bent forwards, and ran a hand along his jaw, her fingers tracing the old burn on his cheek. He shuddered beneath her touch. "You gave me hope. At the times in my life when...when everything felt lost..." She took a deep breath. "You make me feel like...like I could be more than anyone ever thought."

She was quiet for a moment. "What's your plan Delita?"

"Clear the board of all your rivals, and all your would-be rulers," Delita answered. "Put you on the throne. And put me at your disposal."

She kissed him.

"I think I love you too," she breathed into his mouth.