Hi, all! Thank you so damn much if you're reading this/you've made it this far. I hope you're enjoying things. Also, a huge thank you for the reviews and/or messages that were left for me after the last chapter, I truly appreciate every possible instance of interaction with anyone who's putting in the time to read my ramblings. I had a couple of smaller plot points that I was trying to figure out (admittedly, some stuff I planned earlier on that I wasn't sure if I was going to keep, choosing whether or not to throw a final spanner into the works and all that) so thank you for keeping with me and my inconsistent posting.
My only WARNING for this chapter is that there's an incredibly brief mention of self harm, but it's not an actual act of it, it's only a thought in Grey's head. On top of that, it's not him thinking about doing anything like that, it's just a quick, passing thought where the words "self harm" are included, so read at your own risk now that you've been warned. Without further ado, please enjoy!
Going places with Teddy wasn't Grey's idea of a great time at the best of times. Not to say that he didn't love spending time with his brother, because he absolutely did, but one thing that anyone who knew Teddy knew? The guy loved shopping.
So, when Grey had admitted to wanting a new suit for Callum and Jacob's wedding, he'd all but sealed his own damn fate.
They were barely in the first store by the time he was bored. It was a nice enough store, selling colognes and other such scented products; nice candles, incense cones, even a line of scented roll-on sticks for the leather interior of cars. They had plenty of nice smells and plenty of freaking wacky ones, but the selection was to be their downfall.
"I mean," Grey practically huffed, so very aware of the cameras flashing every time someone triggered the automatic door behind him. "I still think they both smell the same." He shrugged at his older brother as two sticks with cologne on them were thrust back and forth toward him one at a time.
At that, Teddy scoffed. "Both the same?" He barked out, glancing over at Maria, the young woman who had foolishly tasked herself with helping the two men.
Grey did the same, though his glance was apologetic. "I-" He started, but Teddy cut him off.
"This second one clearly has some really beautiful, light hints of a dark roast. Mm, Colombian, maybe?" He chuckled his words out, almost as though he couldn't believe just how dumb his baby brother was being. Beside him, Maria nodded, confirming his theory with a smile. "Look, just smell again, okay?"
The sticks were, once more, thrust under Greyson's nose. He did his brotherly duty and sniffed. "That second one's meant to smell of, what, coffee?" He grumbled, snatching the stick and inhaling deeply. "You're insane, they're the same damn thing." With a roll of his eyes, he placed the offending item directly back into his brother's hand, ignoring the face of utter disgust he was getting back.
Silently, feeling the weight of his cell in his pocket, he prayed to any gods who would listen, desperately hoping that River was having more luck.
A couple cities over, she was shopping with his mom, sisters, Jen and Aunt Kate for dresses. She'd been put under strict instructions to not argue and to let Ana pay for her dress, just as she'd be paying for everyone else's, but Grey knew that would be difficult for her.
When they'd parted ways that morning, neither one of them wanted to go shopping. Or, well, they didn't want to go with the people they were going with.
Originally, they'd planned to go together and to choose nice, complementary outfits. That would have been ideal, right? Right, only, that had clearly not happened. As soon as River's cell had buzzed with the invitation of dress shopping with the available women of the Grey family, so too had Grey's with Teddy's talk of shopping. The final nail in both their coffins had been Grey admitting that he wanted a new suit. Just like that, a coordinated attack came from Teddy and Phoebe, both requesting the company of one of the lovers.
Standing there, watching Teddy add a third stick to his little bundle of possible colognes, Grey wondered if he'd died in his sleep and gone to Hell.
Oh, to make matters worse? They'd already been in that same damn store for two freaking hours!
Grey was looking forward to the wedding, truly he was, but all this prep was a little freaking much. Also, not that he'd have ever voiced it, but the couple getting married was so freaking young. They were having the wedding abroad, so they'd be able to legally drink, but that just sounded freaking crazy to him. He and River were a year older that Callum, a year and a half older than Jacob, yet those crazy kids were going all in and tying the knot.
Finding a seat, Grey took himself away from Teddy, telling his brother that he'd wait for him to finish up.
Sitting there, he really thought about it all. He couldn't have imagined walking down the aisle at his young age. Sure, he'd been about ready to ask Heather and do that with her, but that would have been out of some sense of duty and expectation, not out of genuine love and adoration for her. It felt cruel to even think that, but he'd come to terms with the fact that their entire relationship had almost certainly just been some weird, fame-hungry experiment for Heather to see how many rungs of the social ladder she could climb at Grey's side.
As he thought about River though, his mind couldn't help but wander. Not to sex, no, not while he was in a public store, but to more.
Unlike Heather, walking down an aisle with River didn't sound all that gruesome. Not to say that he explicitly thought that marrying River was some amazing idea that was on the cards for him or anything like that, but it felt oddly right in his head. As far as River or Heather went, at least. He couldn't see her in a white dress though, not happily at least. He had a feeling River would have done just about anything to avoid a traditional wedding. The thought brought a smile to his lips.
She occupied his mind for the rest of the time in that store, then well into the next one too.
Teddy had a bunch of different places he wanted to visit, telling his already bored brother that they needed to peruse or something.
With a small security team, provided by their parents, they were safe enough. That didn't stop the cameras though. Even when it wasn't paparazzi, it was random people snapping photos on their cells.
Grey didn't mind it all too much, but it sure was tiring. They had to uphold the family's image while they were out in public, something that he took seriously. He was also insanely aware of the fact that they were so ridiculously privileged to have what they had, so he felt some sense of something akin to debt when people wanted photos. After all, a photo was nothing, so small and insignificant, yet he found himself struggling with the balancing act of fame and still being allowed to not want a camera shoved up his ass every ten steps. This, he figured, was where his siblings had been especially lucky. They'd had the first decade of their lives to get used to all of this, while he'd spent those formative years worrying about abusive parents and how many days it had been since his last meal.
They hit a few more stores before lunch rolled around, both of them having bought a few things.
Grey hadn't managed to get his entire suit in one store, something that Teddy had been responsible for, but he'd found a really beautiful dress shirt and, much to his dismay, a bottle of cologne that his brother had chosen for him. It smelled amazing, of course, but a half an hour had been far too long to put aside to decide that.
Apparently Teddy knew the best guy in town for slacks and jackets, something that he didn't doubt, so they'd hit a few more places in hopes of finding ties, pocket squares and other such smaller items, then a few other places the eldest Grey brother fancied.
All in all, the day was going to be exhausting. So, when they managed to duck into a nice enough restaurant for food, Greyson made a mental note to fuel up for the afternoon before them. He also made sure to tell the security team to get whatever the hell they wanted and to relax if they could, something he knew they were thankful for.
The food was nice enough as they ate, as was the conversations, but something dawned on Greyson as he and his brother talked.
Two short years ago, they'd been doing this same kind of crazy shopping, but for another wedding. Teddy's.
He'd been engaged to a stunning woman, a full-time model with a massive interest in human rights and politics. Melody. She'd been around for almost half the time that Grey had, always by Teddy's side with a smile, always with a hug and a warm word for anyone who'd needed it.
Teddy hadn't given anyone the full story when things had ended between them. He'd simply leaned into his playboy image and had told anyone who asked that "it just didn't work out" or other phrases like that.
There, looking across the small table at his brother as the elder of them stuffed his face with huge chunks of lobster, Grey couldn't help but feel a pang of pain in his chest.
"Do you miss her?" He blurted out before he could stop himself. Immediately, he felt stupid.
Teddy swallowed heavily, brow raised. It was clear when it dawned on him though. Everything about him changed. There was something dark in his face as it fell, something cruel and angry.
Then, with a sign, he dabbed his mouth with a napkin and made a point of resetting the smile onto his features. "Don't do that." He said simply, but there was pleading in his tone.
As the ache grew in his chest, Grey simply nodded. "Sorry." He offered with a sad smile.
Across from him, his brother nodded. It was tight, unmistakably so, but he could tell that he was forgiven.
They didn't talk about her again. Not at the table, nor in the stores. Teddy didn't talk about her, not ever, so Grey was going to respect that. He just wanted to know that his brother was okay, that he was happy and not clinging to the past.
It was easy to get drawn into Teddy's goofy facade and forget that there was actually a highly intelligent man under it all, one with feelings and experiences that often went unheard. Greyson silently wondered how many times his poor brother's heart had been shattered, only to be covered over with humor and gags. Again though, Teddy didn't want to talk about it, so they didn't.
Once lunch was over with, they headed over to Teddy's slacks-and-jacket guy. He was a little over a half hour drive away, nothing too much, but the drive was quiet. Grey knew why. He'd forced his brother into thoughts of his ex, the very same ex who none of his family knew why he wasn't with anymore. She'd always been nice to them all and seemed to be doing well for herself if social media was anything to go by, but none of the family knew whether or not the breakup had been anyone's fault, whether it had been a mutual decision, nothing.
If nothing else, it was infuriating, only in the sense that Grey still didn't know how to comfort his brother after all this time.
Back to shopping, one of Teddy's favorite things, the eldest brother came back to life. He put his mask of happiness back on and drew Greyson in with joked and jibes until things were normal again.
So, wrestled into a pair of admittedly lovely slacks, Grey stood still as the tailor -and personal friend of Teddy's- put pins in the pant legs around his crotch. Certainly not the time to squirm and get a pin exactly where he didn't want it.
In the pocket of the pants that he'd shed, his cell buzzed a few times. River, no doubt. He hadn't had the chance to message her at all today, not under Teddy's watchful eye, but they'd already planned to meet back at his place when they were both done. Gods, he just hoped she wasn't cancelling. The one thing that was getting him through the day was the thought of curling up on the couch with her under a host of blankets, downing some nice wine together over dinner and watching trashy shows with her tucked into his side.
Naturally, with his brother trapped, it wasn't long before Teddy began asking questions, entirely unconcerned with the ears of his friend, the tailor.
"So," The older brother started, sitting on a nearby armchair, eyes focused on Grey. "Anymore stolen smooches with Mattie Dearest?" He asked, a boisterous smirk tugging at his features.
Rolling his eyes, Grey huffed. "No, dumbass." He grumbled, somehow managing to hold off a blush when the kiss popped into his mind.
Admittedly, he'd been thinking about it a little more, recently. Sure, it had been a stupid, drunken decision, but it hadn't been bad, not at all.
Okay, look, he had this thought, okay? One that had plagued him for the few days that had passed since the incident.
He liked River. That much was clear. River liked him, he knew that. She also liked other people. She'd said so herself. So, well, what if he was starting to get curious about that?
It was insane to him, the mere thought of it, but he had secretly gotten a stiffy a couple days prior when the thought had first crossed his mind. Now that he felt safe and secure in the knowledge that River wasn't seeing anyone else and that she was only ever going to go at his pace, the prospect of someone else with them both was looking far less like a kick in the stomach and a little more... well, a little more appealing.
Granted, he wasn't all too sure what that would have even looked like. He couldn't even sit and picture the possibilities for long before feeling guilty and as though it was something he needed to talk to River about, only, he wasn't sure how. He wasn't sure how the hell to ask what having the attention of more than one person, sexually, was like. Was that rude to ask her? Was it weird to ask what it felt like to really kiss someone of the same gender? God, he had no clue, no clue at all.
So, he kept his mouth shut. That was the best course of action, right?
Or, maybe, just maybe, he should have brought it up.
Fuck, he didn't know. Maybe he'd bring it up to her later, but he didn't want to ruin an evening if it turned out it was weird to ask.
Then, right there on the freaking podium, as the tailor worked the pants off him and kept the pins from pricking him on the way, he realized.
How the hell had he been so damn stupid? Teddy was right freaking there!
Looking at his brother, a few minutes having passed since the question about Matt, he figured this was okay. He could ask Teddy anything, he knew that, so long as it wasn't about Melody.
"If I ask you something," He started, getting his brother's attention. "Do you promise to not be an asshole?"
Interest positively piqued, Teddy simply nodded and leaned forward in his seat. "Sure, bro." He said.
So, Grey took his chance. "You've kissed guys, right? Like, you know, more than just a little..." He made an awkward mwah sound before clenching his jaw.
As Teddy grinned, Greyson regretted everything. "Yeah, man, I've kissed guys." Teddy told him, barely hiding a laugh. "More than a mwah!" He then laughed, unable to help himself.
As much as Grey wanted to roll his eyes and to stop the conversation, he couldn't. He was curious. He hadn't ever really thought about his own sexuality enough, not really. He'd been with Heather for so long and he just hadn't ever really put much stock into his own likes and dislikes, figuring none of it was ever going to matter. Sure, he'd stumbled on gay porn a few times and hadn't disliked it, but he hadn't ever really stayed and watched it, nor had he ever searched for it.
It all sounded kind of sad when he thought about it.
He knew what type of impression he was giving his brother about him and about Matt, but he didn't care. So long as the heat was off of him and River. Maybe that was some kind of wrong, he didn't know.
In the back of his mind, he found it weirdly wholesome in some way that he was asking his older brother about boys, as opposed to his sister. It was a nice middle finger to gender roles, he figured.
"Okay, so... I mean, it's good, right?" He asked eventually, unsure of what he was even asking. "I mean, is it the same as kissing women, or-"
"Yes." Teddy chuckled. "No." He then added with a shrug.
"W-What?" Seriously, what did that mean?
Smiling, Teddy shook his head lightly. "Do you want it to be the same?" He asked, though Grey didn't really understand that either. "Okay, are you making out with dudes because you want to specifically make out with dudes, or are you flailing around because you don't know who you are without Heather?" He said, clearing up what he was asking.
Stumped, Grey's mouth opened and closed for a second.
He was silently aware of both the tailor and the security team, all within earshot.
Blushing, he cleared his throat lightly. "I-" He started, but Teddy cut him off again.
"Look, you were never happy with her, we all knew it." He stated easily, another shrug following. "You never got to figure out who you were, between learning how to fit in with us all as a kid and then being her perfect boyfriend. That's why we all always liked River so much; she actually made you act like a human being, you know? You weren't this perfect, little robot around her who needed to please everyone, you were just a kid." Had he actually just used the right name for River? It felt suddenly serious.
Huh. Okay. So... maybe that had all been like a punch in the gut.
A robot? A people-pleasing one at that?
As his mouth opened and closed again, still uselessly, Teddy stood. "You give us a minute here, Sal?" As quickly as he'd asked, his friend was gone from the room with a smile and a nod. Beyond the security team, out of the room, he was away, leaving the brothers alone.
There, still on the podium, Greyson felt small even as he stood over a foot taller than his brother.
Teddy came closer, a kind but somewhat sad smile on his face. "Greyson," His name came out of his brother's mouth, a mournful sigh. "You're my brother, man. I love you more than life. You just... you gotta learn to take what you want, right? You wanna go make out with Mattie fuckin' Thorne, make out with Mattie fuckin' Thorne. You wanna bone Ringer? Go for it. Hell, dude, if you want to move to, what, fucking Cambodia, then go and fucking do it." He clapped Grey's shoulder as he spoke, clearly trying to inspire something in his brother.
So, Teddy's advice, in a nut shell, was to do whatever the hell he wanted. Which, sure, he had been getting better at, but there was a whole lot of room for improvement.
"You didn't answer my question, dick." He grumbled back, punching down at Teddy's shoulder playfully.
Barking out a laugh, Teddy nodded. "Sure, sure," He muttered with a nod. "Kissing dudes is fucking awesome. I made out with Brennan Halfi in a supply closet, my senior year, best kiss I've ever had."
"Brennan Halfi?" Grey couldn't help but chuckle. He was amazed more than anything. "That guy's far outta your league."
It was absurd almost to think of anyone as out of Teddy's league, but Brennan simply had been. Even in high school, he'd somehow been a mile ahead of the rest of them. He was the richest kid among an entire school of mostly rich kids. He was a total sweetheart too, shockingly.
"Oh, I know." Teddy laughed. "Come on, put your pants on. We can talk about how soft Mattie's lips look later."
With a roll of his eyes, Grey blushed and shoved his brother, climbing down from the podium. "They were soft." He admitted, earning a loud laugh.
In that moment, he wanted so badly to tell Teddy about River. He wanted to admit that he'd lost his virginity, that they were sleeping together, that part of him was certain it was falling for her. Only, he couldn't. He couldn't risk Teddy ever saying anything to River and making her feel awkward, nor did he want to tell Teddy and then have the entire family know. River had been clear about no one knowing about them, especially with all of her court drama coming. There was a reason that only he, his dad, his grandpa and Jen had been in the room when her alibi had come up. He needed to remember that.
By the time they left that store, both with pants and jackets, Grey actually felt a whole lot better. He realized that he'd felt some odd sense of otherness when he'd accepted that he wasn't opposed to the idea of kissing a guy, but talking with Teddy really had helped. He'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't all that sure what his sexuality was as far as labels went, but that he liked River and could potentially see himself enjoying something else -or someone else- with her someday. He wasn't going to rush to figure it all out, but it was nice to feel free and safe enough that he could figure it out.
Luckily for Greyson and unluckily for Teddy, they didn't have too much time for more shops after that one, so they agreed to figure out everything else another day, possibly together but not specifically. Meaning, Grey could still find the rest of the bits he needed alone or with River.
As great of an outcome as his day with Teddy had been, he was freaking tired by the time he was back in his car and headed home.
Keeping him going though, was his thoughts of River.
He'd briefly checked his cell in the car, thankful beyond belief that River hadn't been cancelling on him but had instead been saying how much she would have rather been shopping with him. She'd even included a cute couple of pictures of her and his various relatives in differing dresses. They all looked like they were having a good time, but he knew what she meant. She would have rather done that with him, teasing and flirting, just as he would have rather done his shopping with her too.
Getting back home put a breath of fresh air back into him. For as long and somewhat tedious as the day had been, the simple promise of seeing River was enough to wash it all away.
Her final text alone, the one telling him when she'd arrived, was enough to have him all but running to the elevator. Elliot's borrowed bike was in his parking lot, squeezed into the very back of one of the huge spaces that came within his property's agreement.
The walk from the elevator to his front door felt insanely long. Was it fewer than a hundred feet, or was it in fact the five miles that it felt like?
When he finally swung the door open, the smile on his face was immediate.
There she was.
Leaning against his kitchen island, she looked fucking beautiful. Even mostly still in her full suit of leathers, he wasn't sure he'd seen anyone more beautiful.
She'd managed to kick her boots off at the door before something had stopped her, clearly having caught her in the middle of taking the full body suit off. The upper half was hanging off of her as she stood there, still entirely in the pants part. She'd unzipped the suit, but the leather was stiffer in some places than others, so it held itself out at a slight angle, seemingly unable to fall and lie flat around her hips.
In her hand, Greyson spied her cell as she held it beside her head.
Moving slowly, he closed the door as quietly as he could. At that, she offered him a brief thankful smile.
Whoever was on the other end had her full attention. She didn't seem to have the chance to really speak all that much, just offering up the occasional noise of agreement or acknowledgment before falling silent once more.
Grey had to admit, he was curious. He couldn't really tell too much from the look on her face. Sure, her brows were a little furrowed as he watched her, shucking his jacket and his shoes. She was tonguing her teeth anxiously, even fiddling with the zipper on her suit with her spare hand. Only, under all of those nerves, he could see something in her eyes.
Joy? Anger? Relief? Upset?
For the life of him, he couldn't pin it down with any kind of real confidence. It was driving him insane as he stood there, hearing the light droning of the other voice, watching as they drove River deeper into some pit of inner turmoil.
When she was finally done, hanging up the call with brief thanks to whoever it was, that was when Grey really saw it.
Heartbreak.
He dropped everything in his hands and rushed to her as her tears started falling. To hell with his laptop, he'd break it a thousand times over to get to her in time.
The tears were silent at first, followed by the raking in of a deep breath. After that, the dam was overflowing, broken.
Caught in Greyson's strong arms, River fell apart. She cried until she could barely breathe, sobbing and clinging to him as he carefully carried her to the couch.
There, as sobs wracked her frame, he managed to wrestle her out of the rest of her gear before he lay across one of the huge couch cushions and pulled her down with him. There, with her crying into his chest, he managed to wrap them both up in one of the blankets that was thrown over the back of the couch.
She was safe in his arms, he knew that. He just hoped that he was offering her even the slightest second of comfort. He just hoped that she knew that he wouldn't let anything harm her.
He didn't ask what was wrong, not right away. He let her cry herself dry first, doing little more than cradling her, stroking her hair as he whispered into her ear that she was safe and that everything was okay, kissing her temple every couple of minutes.
When her tears were long since dry and the sobs had stopped wracking her frame that suddenly seemed small in his arms, that was when he finally spoke.
Gently and slowly, he pulled his head up from where he'd been resting it on hers. As he looked down at her, seeing her puffy eyes and flushed cheeks, he silently swore to do anything in the world to protect her. "Hey," He whispered so very softly.
Quickly, almost guiltily, her eyes shot up to look at him. So very deep and dark, drawing him in before she glanced down at herself. "Hey." She muttered with a hoarse, wry chuckle. "God, I'm so sorry." Her voice was small as she spoke, shaking, threatening to spill yet more tears.
Smiling, he shook his head and kissed her temple one more time. "What's happened?" He asked simply.
As badly as he wanted to comfort her, he needed to know what he was fighting first.
Looking up at him with those impossibly brown eyes, tears welled and eventually fell. As they did, she shook her head and buried her face in his neck.
River didn't cry. She didn't freaking cry, okay? He knew that.
Hell, he'd seen her cry a few times when they were younger, when her mom had been especially harsh, but even then she'd usually found a way to cry either alone or with his mom. Since then, he'd seen few tears from her. She hadn't wanted to cry when she'd been arrested either, not in front of him.
He held her as tight against his chest as he dared, knowing that all he could do was wait. She was embarrassed, he knew that, but she had nothing at all to be embarrassed about.
It was odd, this sure wasn't how he'd expected that they spend their evening, but part of loving someone was having part in both their ups and their downs.
Fuck, there it was. That word. Love.
He loved River, of course he did, but did he love River? You know, that huge, intense, all consuming love? The kind of love that put butterflies in your stomach and candy floss in your brain. The kind of love that made life worth living. Was he feeling that kind of love for River?
Well, simply put, it wasn't the time. He had another million hours to figure that out, but right now she needed him. Right now, he needed to help her and put whatever his feelings were aside.
So, when she eventually pulled herself from his neck again, he listened. He prepared himself as best as he could, ready for anything at all.
I miss Matt.
We need to break this off.
Maybe we shouldn't go to the wedding together.
My mom's passed away.
I'm pregnant.
Whatever it was, whatever had managed to break her down like this, he could handle it. He could be strong for as long as she needed him to be. She could fall apart in his arms a million times over, safe in the knowledge that he was there to help sew her back together again, piece by piece, as many times as he had to. She was safe with him, as was her truth, whatever it was.
As she opened her mouth, he braced.
"Jerry confessed."
His heart sank for her. "River-"
"He confessed to- fuck, to everything." Tears broke her voice, but she carried on. She was so fucking strong, even as her worst nightmares were confirmed.
As his mind raced, he tried hard to think. He had to think, right? He had to figure out what needed doing. He had to make things easier on her. "Do you need to go to the station?" He asked, keeping his voice so very soft so as to not startle her.
Shaking her head, she put it down on his chest and sniffled. "I'll have to talk to Jen and your grandpa," She started, placing a hand on his chest. There, she moved it around a little, moving for the perfect spot. Directly over his heart, she stopped, flattening her palm, feeling for his heartbeat. "The cops want me to head in just so they can talk me through everything, but I don't have to go. I can just send a representative or something. I'm officially free though. I can leave the state, the country, go wherever the fuck I want."
As she spoke, Greyson heard her pain.
She was finally free of the restraints that she'd been put under following her arrest, free of the constraints that hadn't at all affected her, but at what cost?
Now, without a shadow of a doubt, she knew that Jerry had done it.
Suspecting him had been one thing, but his confession was like a hammer to the ribs. Grey could tell, looking down at her, that her heart was well and truly broken. For all the theorizing about Jerry and Karen, it seemed that she hadn't ever really put her everything into believing that it had been them. Maybe she'd been hoping that someone worse was behind all of it, someone she'd cut off in traffic one day or someone she'd never even crossed paths with. Someone who hadn't all but helped to raise her.
"I need to tell Matt." She made quickly to stand, pushing away from him. Not once did her sniffles cease.
"Hey, wait," So gently, he held her to him. She stopped moving quickly enough, looking thoroughly exhausted already. She didn't need to be doing anything. He could help. He could help and entirely ignore that he and Teddy had been talking about Matt's lips barely a few hours ago. River would find that funny when he eventually told her, but now wasn't the time. "Don't worry about that, okay? Why don't you go and shower the day off of you, hm? I'll call him and see if he wants to come over. Skylar, too."
He knew in the moment that as badly as he wanted to be enough to comfort her, she needed her friends. Her other friends. She needed them because they were going through this too.
Her gaze softening slightly, she shook her head. "You don't have to do that."
"Go," He smiled, releasing her from his grasp. "I'll get them both here, okay? Just go and soak a little while. We can order food. You can choose a movie. Hell, we can got and smash the gym up. I'll play the rich asshole card." In that moment, he meant it. He'd burn that freaking place to the ground if that was what she needed. Hell, he'd give the cameras the finger while lighting the match. Anything for her.
Smiling so lightly, not quite a genuine smile but still a smile all the same, she eventually nodded. "Okay." She said with a light sniffle. "Don't tell them though. Just... Can you just say that I need them here? I'll tell them everything."
His heart ached as he helped her to her feet and watched her walk off to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway, turning to look at him.
"Come in when you're done on the phone?" She asked.
He understood. She wanted comforting. Not sex, no, but holding and being cared for.
So, of course, he nodded. "I'll be right in."
So, true to his word, Grey called Matt on his cell, explaining in brief but certain terms that something had happened and that River needed him. Naturally, the other man was curious as to why Grey was calling him and not River, but the two men already seemed to share some kind of understanding. They both loved River deeply in some way or another, so while Matt was curious, he didn't need an explanation before he was assuring the young millionaire that he was on his way and would bring Skylar.
With that news, Grey announced that he'd send a car so they didn't have to worry about parking and other such small things. As soon as they were done on the phone, he did just that, sending his car out to the address that Matt gave him.
Once his errands were out of the way, he wrestled himself out of his clothes and headed to the bathroom, stuffing his worn garments into the washing pile in his room on the way.
The shower was already loud and pounding when he tentatively knocked on the door before heading in, beating down on an uncharacteristically quiet River.
He saw her the second he opened the door, standing under the stream, simply staring off into space. At that sight, his heart ached. Seeing her, someone so strong, struggling like this was a horrible feelings. Not to mention the added turmoil that his own feelings for her were adding. He hated seeing her like this, well and truly.
Closing the door behind him so as to not let the heat pour out, he stepped quickly into the large, open shower.
The water was hot, scalding. So, quickly, he turned the knob with a light hiss. Through it all, River stood under the stream, unmoving as the scorching water made direct contact with her back.
As horrible a thought as it was, Grey couldn't help but wonder if the pain in such a specific place was some form of something akin to self harm. A sensation so strong and all consuming to distract from everything. Only, as he looked at her through worried, loving eyes, he honestly figured that it was more likely that she was feeling pretty out of it and had actually just randomly turned dials until water had come out with no real attention further than that.
Moving, he stepped under the spray, shielding her body with his own as the temperature adjusted. It hurt. It really fucking hurt. For her though? For her, it was nothing.
"Careful, Riv," He started, voice soft. "You could'a burned yourself." He reached out as he finished speaking, placing a careful hand on her wet hip, drawing her to him with patience and adoration.
She stepped into his arms, seemingly shaking herself out of some kind of trance. "Grey?" She glanced up at him fleetingly for a second before shaking her head and running both hands through her wet hair, slicking it backward. "God, I'm sorry. I just..." She trailed off with a sigh, dropping her forehead heavily onto his chest. He hoped that his heartbeat was providing her some miniscule comfort as it had seemed to do on the couch.
Drawing her ever closer, he shook his head with a chuckle, enveloping her in his arms. "You've got nothing to be sorry for." He told her firmly. It was true, after all.
There, with the length of her wet, naked body pressed up against his own, he allowed them both just a minute of standing and breathing together before he took charge and began to wash them both.
He would never admit it aloud, or at least he didn't think he would, but there was something so very intimate about River allowing him to trace the scars on her back with his fingertips. Again, not that he would tell anyone, but he considered himself among the luckiest men in the world that he got to behold her beauty for so much as a second, not to mention the fact that he got to touch her and share in the parts of her life that others weren't privy to.
Something that he'd learned more recently, possibly just the other night with Matt and Skylar, was that it didn't matter what pieces of her anyone else had. He had the pieces that she was willing to give to him and that was enough. Hell, it wasn't just enough, it was a freaking honor. She was incredible, more than something so simple as a diamond in the rough. She was everything that was good and right, everything that was just and everything that anyone with so much as half a brain could have freaking wanted.
Just as he'd thought many times over by now, he needed River in his life. Any amount of her. Whatever she was willing to give him.
As they showered together, he made sure to help her as much as possible. Be it scrubbing her back or massaging shampoo into her hair, he'd do it all. Hell, he'd wash her freaking ass if that was what she needed help with. Anything for her.
When they were finally out, Grey checked the location of his car on his cell. It had gotten both Matt and Skylar and was heading over to them. In the traffic, the system figured it would be back in his parking spot in fewer than ten minutes.
Together, in towels, they dried off in the bathroom before heading out and into Grey's bedroom. River tried to apologize for always "stealing" his clothes, something that he laughed off. It was sort of true though. She somehow had managed to find herself with more of his things than Heather ever had, having managed to snag a pair of sweats or two in the months that they'd been sleeping together.
He managed to find them more sweats to get into, smiling when River did her best to make some teasing comment about how no one in the damn world needed so many pairs of the same sweatpants. She was right, of course, but he and his family were used to being sent boxes full of things. He was usually pretty good about giving things away, taking clothes to people in need and whatnot, but he freaking loved those damn sweats. She was right though, no one needed an entire freaking pile of them.
So, both clad in matching sweatpants and different upper garments, they headed out and sat at the breakfast bar to wait for the other two. River's hair was damp as she worked it effortlessly into a braid over her shoulder. Grey helped a little, having learned how to do a few things like that when Meals had been younger, but River was far quicker and more skilled at it than he was, so he admitted defeat.
She leaned into him as they waited, something that he was thankful for as it allowed him to take the opportunity to wrap an arm around her.
While she'd opted for a big, thick hoodie, he'd chosen a tank top. He didn't plan to tell her, but he'd noticed that she'd seemed to take some semblance of comfort from his heartbeat a couple of times now, so he wanted to give her as easy access to his chest as possible without greeting her friends without a shirt on.
"Do you mind if they know?" River eventually asked as Grey announced that the car had arrived back in one of his parking spots. "About us. What we're doing." She then clarified when he gave her a visibly confused look.
Huh. Okay, she maybe his chest felt a little puffed out at that thought. Telling people, for whatever reason, was good, right? "I don't mind." He confirmed with an easy smile, trying to hide the way that his heart was bounding around. "Whatever you want, okay? Tell everyone, tell no one, it's all the same to me." That much was the truth.
For as much as things would have been a little easier from time to time if more people knew, his life wasn't exactly difficult for anyone not knowing.
She looked up at him from his side for a long second, truly looking deep into his eyes, before laying her head back down and sighing. She nodded, staying quiet for another second longer. "You get why I don't want your folks to know, right?" She asked eventually.
Sitting there, he thought about it. "Sure," He shrugged. He did, right? "You don't want them to get the wrong idea." He finished, briefly wondering if he was wrong.
He could feel her pulling him apart in her mind as she remained still in his side. It wasn't any kind of unkind or cold, but it sure did feel peculiar. "They'd think it was more." She stated. "If they knew, they'd think we were dating. They'd start planning a freaking wedding. God, and Meals? She's too young, Grey, she wouldn't get that friends can just have... more, you know? I-"
"Whoa, hey," He chuckled lightly, pulling away from her for long enough to look down at her with a smile, holding her in his arm still. "Riv, you don't have to explain. I get it."
He did. Truly, he did. That didn't mean it didn't feel like a kick in both the dick and his chest though.
Just like he'd thought a million times now, he wasn't upset that he was River's friend. He counted himself a lucky freaking guy to be able to call her his best friend, but he truly was starting to see that part of him wanted something... more. Again though, he was more than happy to take what she offered him. He didn't feel any kind of stunted or wronged, he just figured his head and his heart needed a little time to catch up with one another and sort things out together. Not right now though.
When there was a loud, firm knock at the door, Grey made to stand and get it.
He barely got half way around the counter before River was on her feet, yanking him back.
Startled, he stumbled into her. Her back hit the counter hard before he could get his hand between the two, but she didn't seem to give a damn as she yanked him closer by the thick straps of his tank top. Her lips were on his in an instant.
Just like that, he relaxed.
Neither of them made Matt or Skylar wait long. Just one more second for the two of them, then River was releasing him and shoving him off toward the door, looking some kind of bashful about that kiss.
Giddy, he stumbled off with a goofy grin, one that he made sure to wipe from his face before opening the door.
Hi again!
At the risk of sounding annoying, I apologize profusely for any and all spelling/grammar errors, I do my utmost to clean things up but I know I miss some things. When I've eventually finished the story, I'll probably go back through and clean it up again (I don't for the life of me know why but I spot mistakes and whatnot a million times faster on this site than in my documents). As always, I truly hope this chapter was okay/some kind of enjoyable. I really love writing this fic, so I guess I just hope that it's not just me rambling on and on through a story that makes no sense, but I have a feeling I'd have been told by now if something didn't make sense.
Thank you again, have an awesome day!