Addison found herself tossing and turning in her bed, unable to fall asleep. The guilt of kissing her ex-husband suddenly fell upon her like a heavy lead blanket that suffocated her with questions she couldn't answer for herself.
She still didn't understand why Derek had traveled to Connecticut for her –well, actually for her mother, but technically for her–, why he had offered to help her, and why he had stayed there, at her house, knowing they no longer had any kind of romantic bond.
Why had he come up to her room to talk to her so she could vent? Why was he suddenly showing so much interest in her well-being? Why did he have to hug her, wrap his arms around her, and tell her he was there for her? Why did he have to be the only one who knew her so well that he knew what she needed most and didn't dare to ask for?
She hadn't even taken the time to understand Derek's presence there and she had already ruined it.
Why did she always ruin things so quickly in her life? Was she incapable of maintaining a healthy friendship with someone? Or did her impulsive and uncontrollable nature lead her to make mistakes that were difficult to rectify? Could it be that people raised by wolves, like her, were prone to seeking affection desperately, even when there was no love left?
Was she incapable of controlling her impulses and maintaining loyalty in her relationships? Sha wasn't trying to hurt Sam and that was what bothered her the most. Why did she keep doing it knowing that all her relationships had ended for that reason?
Her questions and the brief memories of the kiss were tormenting her. She got out of bed to open the window and let in some fresh air and saw the fireplace in the garden gallery lit. Next to it was her brother, lying on an old snow-covered sofa with a glass bottle in hand. Apparently, she was not the only unfaithful one who couldn't sleep that night.
She put on a black coat and decided to go down with him, so he wouldn't be cold alone in the darkness.
"What are you doing out here?" Addison asked once she was by his side.
"Oh, I'm honoring Bizzy. Not that she ever got sloppy drunk. Say what you want about her, but the woman could hold her liquor."
"Come on back to the house. I'll make you some coffee," she said, trying to take the wine bottle from him.
"Oh, no, no, no..." he refused to give it to her. "You and me, how'd we end up such messes, huh? Hey, look at us..."
Addison let go of the bottle and sighed. She wouldn't be able to take it away from him so easily and she didn't feel like trying. She shook some snow off the sofa and sat at Archer's feet.
"You're screwing your best friend's ex, and your ex-husband is meters away from you without knowing how dirty you really are. Have you slept with Shepherd too?"
"What?" she asked nervously. Was her face giving her away?
"I saw him going into your room. Did you sleep with him?"
"Of course not."
"Well, I'm screwing anything with a pulse, I don't blame you. It's what we learned in this family."
"I... I am in love with Sam."
Was she really after what she had done?
"Ha..."
"And you are up here, all alone, grieving because we're real people, with real feelings. Despite Bizzy's best example..."
"Well, here's to that..." he teased, taking another sip of wine.
There was a long silence that lasted for several minutes. Addison needed to tell him, she couldn't bear to see her brother suffer and pretend everything was okay when it wasn't. When it had been a tragedy.
"She killed herself, Archer."
Her brother's expression changed from one moment to the next on his face, that mocking smile he always had disappeared completely to give way to a look of concern.
"It wasn't an aneurysm or a heart attack, she took... she took a bottle of pills."
Archer's eyes quickly filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall. He kept honoring his mother's example despite everything.
Both remained silent again for a few minutes. Archer was processing the information his sister had just given him and Addison, in turn, was reflecting on it.
"Well, isn't that just par for the course?" Archer said after a while.
"I've spent so much time of my life judging people, you know that? I've been so judgmental. It was actually one of the few traits I did get from Bizzy. When I was younger, I would've thought it's weak. Suicide? it's so weak. I mean, what was she thinking? How could she do that to us? to the Captain, to her children. But, when I found herâ all I thought was: well, that's that. People who do that, they're not thinking. She wasn't thinking. I mean, they're broken. She was broken from grief. She was out to sea and she drowned. But it doesn't make her selfish. Doesn't even mean that she didn't love us in her own wayâ Maybe that's what I would have said. If I could've told the truth, that's what I would have said..."
And perhaps at that moment, she wasn't just talking about Bizzy.
Perhaps the answers to her questions had started to fall. Perhaps she wasn't thinking a few hours ago, perhaps she too was adrift, broken by pain. She was just drowning and...
...and Derek rescued her.
~•~
Addison's cell phone started ringing at six in the morning, but the sound of the call didn't wake her up, as the events of the previous night had kept her awake. After spending a few hours with Archer in the garden, keeping each other company by the fireplace, they both went back to their rooms. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't sleep.
She sat up in bed to reach for her phone on the nightstand and saw Sam's contact number on the screen. She took three deep breaths and answered.
"Hello."
"Hey, baby. How are you? Did I wake you up?"
"No, I was already awake. Why are you up? Isn't it like three in the morning in L.A.?"
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm on duty."
"Oh..."
"My patient's condition worsened and I'm afraid he might need another emergency surgery at any moment. I can't leave until his vitals stabilize and he's out of intensive care."
"Okay."
"I'm really sorry. I promise to make it up to you."
"You don't have to."
"Has the burial taken place?"
"No, it's at ten."
"Okay... Is it still snowing there?"
"Yes."
"A lot of snow?"
"I don't know."
"Okay..."
"I have to go, uh..."
"That's okay. I'll call you later, alright?" Sam said, sensing her hesitation.
"Okay."
"I love you, baby."
"Me too. Goodbye," she quickly hung up before he could notice her annoyance.
She knew she couldn't be mad at him for not being there. First, because she was a doctor too and had sworn to prioritize saving a life over everything else. It didn't make sense to waste time on someone who had already passed away instead of saving someone who still had a chance to recover.
Second, because she had insisted that he shouldn't come. He simply did what she had asked. But not what she needed...
Perhaps if Sam had insisted a little more, or if she had been more open about her feelings and less proud that day, he would have traveled with her and the third reason wouldn't have existed: she kissed Derek.
God, she had no right to be mad at him after the third reason.
She sighed, left her phone back on the nightstand, and went to take a hot bath to start the day.
~•~
At eight o'clock in the morning, Addison was already perfectly ready to go to Bizzy's burial.
The day in Connecticut, to no one's surprise, was particularly cold. A light snow had fallen all night, covering the entire landscape of the Montgomery residence in white. And, of course, the burial was going to be outdoors.
Addison had put on the last black dress she had packed. It had a round neck, long sleeves, and reached just below the knee. Underneath, she wore thick black tights and warm boots, matching the black leather gloves and a fur-collared coat. She had styled her hair in an elegant bun, barely touched up the dark circles under her eyes, which had inevitably appeared on her face due to lack of sleep, and left her room.
As she opened the door, she saw Derek walking down the hallway and sighed nervously. What were the odds of opening the door and finding him right at that moment?
"Good morning, Addie..." he said, with a slight smirk.
"Hi..."
"Uh... a lot of snow, huh?"
"That's right..."
Questions about the weather were never missed in awkward conversations, weren't they?
"Yeah..."
The tension between them was excessively noticeable. Neither of them wanted to talk about what had happened the night before. They tried to pretend that nothing had happened, that everything was fine, but they were terrible actors.
"Uh... We're about to leave for the cemetery, the burial starts at ten..." said Addison, looking at the time on her phone screen.
"Okay. I'll go with you."
"It's not necessary, in fact... only the closest to Bizzy will be there. Amelia and my colleagues are about to leave for the airport, their plane leaves at 11:30 a.m..."
"Oh, okay. I guess if everyone is leaving, I'll leave too..."
Addison just nodded timidly. Of course, she wanted him to accompany her. Derek had been closer than most of the people who would attend that funeral. But she didn't dare to ask, she still found it difficult to look him in the eyes after what they had done last night.
"Uh... maybe I'll go for a hot chocolate. Is The Haven still open?"
The Haven was a rustic tea house in Connecticut that they used to visit every time they came to town.
"I haven't been there for over six years... I wouldn't know..."
And she wouldn't go there to check anyway. That place had lost its meaning when the person who had given it that special touch was no longer around.
"Oh... Okay. I'll check and let you know. I have to kill some time..."
"What time's your flight?"
"At four in the afternoon..."
"Oh, it's still a few hours..."
"...by tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" she asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
"I rushed to get my tickets and thought today was the fourteenth, but it's tomorrow."
"Oh..."
"But don't worry, I won't stay longer invading your property. I'll go for a walk around the city, I'll bring Mark the wine I promised, and tonight I'll sleep at the hotel Amelia booked. Tomorrow morning I'll go to the airport to wait until my flight to Seattle. I won't bother you anymore."
"You're not bothering me..." she murmured shyly.
"Shepherd, will you go to the burial?" asked The Captain, coming out of his room already dressed. Like his daughter, he wore a long black fur coat.
"I don't think so, Captain. Bizzy wanted an intimate ceremony, only close family and friends," said Addison, before he could even respond.
"He is part of the family."
"We are no longer family," Addison pressed her lips uncomfortably. Saying that was much more painful than it seemed.
"We will always be family. Shepherd, I want you there and I won't accept a no as an answer. We leave in less than an hour."
"Yes, sir."
The Captain nodded and walked away down the stairs.
"I... uh... I'll go wake up Archer..." said Addison, walking in the opposite direction.
~•~
There was a little over half an hour left before leaving, and Addison still had Susan's urn on her room desk. She felt bad for not taking the time to think about what to do with the ashes. Susan had not left any particular request.
Should she keep them as a decoration in the living room? Should she scatter them in the garden? Take them to the forest? Should she take them with her to Los Angeles and scatter them in the sea? No... that didn't make much sense. Supposedly, ashes should be spread in places where the person had lived and been happy... and Susan technically went to L.A. to die.
Addison didn't really know what her favorite places had been... she barely knew her. She didn't know her activities, her tastes, her preferences, her beliefs. She was always with Bizzy, going wherever Bizzy wanted to go and doing what she did and... That's it! Maybe she was her favorite place.
She took the urn and brought it to the room where her mother's coffin was waiting to be taken to the cemetery in the next few minutes.
"Hello, Bizzy... I brought you some company," she said, approaching somewhat nervously, "I feel that Susan would've wanted to be by your side until the last moment of her life, and... well, I thought you could be together from now until the end of the decomposition period. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, I'd better... put this here," she said as she carefully placed the urn under her mother's cold arm, "oh, Bizzy. I know you can't hear me anymore, but I... I'm really sorry, and...
Addison paused to wipe away the tears falling from her eyes and gave Bizzy a small kiss on the cheek.
"I love you, Mom."
~•~
The burial ceremony had started promptly at ten o'clock. The silence was overwhelming in the plot, only interrupted by the voice of the priest, as well as the faint rustle of the wind blowing through the bare trees.
Addison stood firm, staring at the portion of synthetic grass placed over the snow, trying to contain her emotions. To her left was the Captain, just as firm and silent as his daughter, with a small gauze covering the wound he had received two days ago while arguing with Pete.
On Addison's right, Archer was trying to hold his breath to keep from breaking down in tears. Since he had found out the true cause of his mother's death, the icy armor covering his soul had shattered and he felt completely devastated.
Derek, on the other hand, was a little further away from the three of them, blending in with some of Bizzy's relatives, trying to go unnoticed.
He couldn't take his eyes off Addison. She looked so fragile, so small and harmless under that black fur coat enveloping her trembling body; and at the same time so strong, so brave and loving while trying to comfort Archer, who despite her vain efforts, had burst into tears as the coffin began to descend. She was also broken and wanted to cry in the same way in front of everyone, but she was holding back for her brother, despite being the youngest.
She had always been so generous. She always minimized her own pain to help others, and that noble and stubborn quality she had was one of the thousands that had made Derek fall in love with her in the first place. Her big heart...
The ceremony concluded with a few brief words of farewell and the sound of earth falling onto the coffin. People began to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways since there would be no gathering afterward. All funeral events had ended there.
Addison discreetly wiped away some tears falling down her cheeks and sighed deeply, feeling the cold seeping into her bones. As she walked towards the cemetery exit, she suddenly felt a strong dizziness that made her stagger. Derek, who had not stopped watching her, quickly approached her.
"Are you okay?" he asked with concern, gently placing a hand on her waist.
"Yes, it's just that... I'm tired and it's very cold," she said, shaking her arms to try to warm up a bit.
"Did you have breakfast today?"
"I wasn't hungry."
"Do you wanna get a hot chocolate?"
"Do you think it's the right time to get a hot chocolate? They just buried my mother," she replied, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Yes, and your body is frozen from being out there while they did it. I know the sadness is great, but you don't have to let it consume you. You have to eat, Addie. You have to have energy, you know that."
"Derek..."
"Come on, I'll pay and I won't take no for an answer," he said, imitating the Captain's voice.
Addison simply nodded in agreement to his insistence and went with him.
~•~
The Haven was a tea house located west of the city of Litchfield, near Candlewood Lake, which Addison and Derek used to frequent when traveling to Connecticut.
That café seemed to have been taken out of a fairy tale due to its architecture resembling medieval European taverns. The house was made of rustic wood, with high ceilings of exposed beams and stained glass windows, allowing the sunlight to softly filter inside.
Upon entering, it was impossible not to be captivated by the intoxicating aroma of tea, coffee beans, chocolate, and fresh flowers. The wooden floor softly creaked underfoot, and the hand-carved wooden tables and chairs provided a cozy place to sit and enjoy a hot drink.
The atmosphere was peaceful and serene, with soft classical music melodies floating in the air. The walls were adorned with oil paintings and ancient tapestries that told stories of times past.
The owners of The Haven were an elderly couple, Catherine and Wilder, who had inherited the tea house from his parents. They had dedicated their lives to perfecting the art of preparing tea, and their passion was reflected in the quality of the beverages they offered their customers. Additionally, they were known for their kindness and hospitality, always having a smile and a kind word for everyone who walked through the door.
There was a time when the tea house became a magical place for Addison and Derek, who visited whenever they had the chance. The routine was always the same: upon arrival, they were greeted warmly by the owners, and then they sat at one of the tables by the window to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate while gazing at the lake in front of them.
During those visits, they felt transported to a dreamlike world, far from the hustle and bustle of their lives in New York. As its name suggested, that place offered a refuge where they could relax and disconnect from the stress and worries. And Derek had no better idea than to take her there that day.
"It had been a long time since I had hot chocolate..." Addison said, a small smile forming as she inhaled the aroma emanating from her cup. Her cheeks had regained their color and she already felt much better.
"Really? How long?"
Since I divorced you. Almost six years, to be exact, she thought.
"I don't remember..."
"Why?"
Because it was something we shared as a ritual, and drinking it alone no longer made sense.
"I guess the weather in Los Angeles doesn't call for this type of drink."
"What do you drink now?"
"Green juice..."
"The one with celery and apple?"
"Yeah, that's one of them. The ingredients vary... sometimes they can have pear, spinach, cucumber, parsley..."
"That's gross, it's like drinking a liquid salad. How can you drink that?" he asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
"You get used to the taste..."
Just like you get unaccustomed to the ones you used to like before.
"I also haven't had hot chocolate in a long time ..." said Derek after a few minutes of reflection in silence.
"Good streak in the operating room? Good for you, Dr. Shepherd."
"No," he made a face, pressing his lips, "I wish it was because of that. It's just that... I don't know. I got used to the coffee from Seattle."
"Well, you live in the most caffeine-addicted city I've seen, I think there are more coffee shops per square meter than people living there... maybe that's why you changed chocolate for coffee."
"Or maybe because no one shares their chocolate with me anymore."
Addison felt her lower eyelids begin to fill quickly with tears, and she looked down in embarrassment. Every memory, every word, every feeling had become more intense and painful after Bizzy's death.
She didn't want to cry again in front of Derek. She didn't want to cry at The Haven, she had never cried there before, but now... unintentionally, a tear slid quickly down her cheek and fell on the edge of the cup, mixing with the dark liquid. She discreetly wiped her face with her hand and brought the cup of hot chocolate back to her lips.
Both were stuck in an awkward silence, where they both knew the reasons that brought them to that moment, but they were not going to say them out loud. What was the point anyway? It was all over now.
"I think that painting is new," Derek said after a while, pointing to the left of Addison. There was a painting of a wooden house with colorful flowers around it.
"It might be."
"I think there used to be one of a white rabbit."
"The rabbit with the blue straw hat?"
"Yes, that one! I liked that one... why do you think they removed it?"
"Things change, I suppose..."
Or they people them with others.
"No way! I feel like I'm looking at the past with my own eyes..." Derek said as his mouth opened wider, forming a smile of astonishment at the image in front of him.
"Are you okay?" she smiled slightly, shaking her head.
"No, really. I'm truly looking at the past. Look at the girl behind you!"
Addison turned her head –in a very unsubtle way– and saw a girl with wavy red hair just above her shoulders, sitting two or three tables behind them. She was laughing out loud with an elderly man, probably her grandfather while playing with the straw from her chocolate.
"It's like seeing you as a little girl..." Derek smiled.
"She doesn't look much like me..." she murmured turning back around.
"Of course she does. Not just because of her red hair... it's her rosy cheeks, her messy bangs, that big smile with her front teeth apart... she has hundreds of bracelets on her wrists, all in different shades of pink... she may be losing circulation in her arms, but she won't take them off, because she'd rather die than be simple. Even the plaid dress she's wearing is just like the one in the framed photo in your living room. I'm seeing you at four years old."
Addison sighed. She couldn't deny that he was right about the girl's physical features, but what really touched her was the fact that, somehow, the little girl seemed to reflect the happiness and innocence that she had already lost.
"Perhaps she's the granddaughter of one of my parents' cousins..."
"I've always thought that if you ever had a daughter, she would look exactly like that girl... maybe I'm not seeing the past, maybe I'm seeing the future," he said smiling. His comment had not been ill-intentioned, but it had made Addison even more uncomfortable, because of her condition.
"Uhm, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom."
Derek nodded and Addison quickly went to the ladies' restroom with a lump in her throat. She locked herself in one of the stalls and sat on the toilet seat, wondering what the hell she was doing there with Derek. Why had she agreed to go with him to one of the places that brought back so many memories? Why was she drinking hot chocolate again when she had sworn never to try it again? Why didn't she just walk away from him already? Why did he make everything twice as difficult? Dealing with the death of her mother was hard enough without having to deal with her ex-husband too. Why was he doing this? Why had he come? Why was he acting so friendly after she kissed him? Was it out of pity?
Minutes passed and she didn't come out of the bathroom. It was as if time had frozen inside and left her trapped. At first, Derek wanted to respect her space and not bother her, but when more than forty minutes had passed, he started to worry. What if Addison had gotten sick? Earlier she had felt dizzy and... what if she had fainted?
He quickly got up from his seat and went to the women's restroom, without caring if other people saw him enter there.
"Addie? Are you here?" he asked from outside the stalls.
"Yes..."
"Hey... what happened? Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine..." she murmured with a hoarse voice.
"Do you want to talk?"
"No..."
"Do you want to come out?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want me to stay here with you?"
"No..."
"Oh... okay. I'll go back to the table and... and wait for you there."
"Are you going to wait for me?"
"Yes..."
"Why?"
"What do you mean whyt?"
"Why are you here?"
"Because I'm not going to leave you alone in the bathroom of a café I forced you to come to."
"I mean... why are you here in Connecticut?"
"Because I had to be."
"Why? You're not my husband anymore."
"Because I owed it to you..."
"Why?"
"Addison, come on. You know why."
"And why haven't you left?"
"Because my flight leaves tomorrow."
Addison sighed with some disappointment. Derek clearly didn't want to talk in depth and she understood, even though she was dying to know the real reasons. She opened the bathroom door to look him in the face. Of course, she had been crying, her eyes were swollen and tinged with red.
"You can't enter the ladies' restroom," she said, forcing a smile with tight lips.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. I think it's better if we go back."
~•~
The return to Addison's house had passed in complete silence on both parts. Derek was afraid to say something that might make her uncomfortable. As he looked at the snowy sunset through the taxi's rear window, he internally wondered if he had said something out of place that had offended her. Perhaps the comments about hot chocolate or the red-haired girl had been too much. Or maybe it had just been a bad idea to take her to The Haven to stir up memories of the past while mourning her mother.
Meanwhile, Addison was only thinking about why he was still there, acting so lovingly towards her after everything that had happened.
"The funeral events have finished at the Forbes Montgomery residence," Archer said, opening the front door. In his hand, he held a half-drunk glass of whisky.
"I just came to pick up my luggage," Derek replied, knowing that the comment was directed towards him.
"Good, because this is not a hotel."
"Archer, stop being rude," Addison said, taking the glass out of her brother's hand and taking a sip. "Derek will stay here tonight and for as long as he wishes."
Archer opened his mouth to protest but, seeing his sister's annoyed look, he preferred to go up the stairs without saying anything more.
"Scotch?" she offered, walking directly to the drinks cabinet.
"Okay..."
It was twenty minutes to six in the evening. In February, the sunset at that time in Connecticut, so technically, it was already night.
Addison poured some Scotch whisky into a short glass and handed it to him. She also filled her glass and drank it quickly, as if it were water.
"You don't have to stay, I just said it to tease Archer," she said, sitting on one of the armchairs in the living room.
"Alright," he smiled, sipping his drink.
Addison glanced at her phone screen, hoping to find a missed message or call from Sam, but there was none. There were only messages of condolences from colleagues and acquaintances who hadn't attended the funeral and had just found out the news. That would be her inbox for the next few weeks, right?
"But if you want to stay... you can," she said timidly after a while in silence, bringing the glass to her mouth again. This was already her third drink.
"Whatever you prefer..."
Addison tightened her lips in a smile and refilled her glass and his halfway.
"Addie, the alcohol content of this drink is over 50%..." Derek said, reading the label of that Scotch whisky after having his second drink.
"It's not that much. The Captain has better ones in stock."
"No, but four glasses are enough. You haven't eaten much today, it will make you sick."
"I don't fill them to the brim. Besides, the first one was almost empty."
"Addison..."
"I have a high alcohol tolerance, Derek. It's not the first time I've had a drink. Okay?" she said, finishing the last sip and getting up from the armchair.
She left the empty glass on the glass coffee table and walked angrily towards the stairs. He followed her.
"Stop following me," she complained as she climbed to her room.
"Be careful."
"Stop taking care of me! Stop showing up everywhere I go! Stop acting like you care about me when you don't! Stop feeling sorry for me!" she shouted as she entered her room. He entered as well and closed the door.
"Of course, I care. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"And why are you here?" she exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "Why are you here? Why are you still here?"
"Because I messed up the flights and..."
"Stop repeating that crap! Why do you keep taking care of me? Why are you suddenly so kind and gentle with me? Why do you keep acting like I didn't kiss you last night? Did that kiss really mean nothing to you? 'Cause I couldn't sleep because of the guilt after doing it, and I don't know if it affected you at all or not!"
"Addie..."
"Answer me! Why are you still here? Why are you acting like this with me?"
Derek moved closer to Addison's face, just inches from her mouth. He could feel her breath starting to become uneven from nerves.
"I don't know. Okay? I don't know. I wish I had an answer, but I don't. I thought I was coming for another funeral, but... but it wasn't like that. Not when the weight of sixteen whole years fell on me the moment I saw you."
"So it's guilt. You treat me like this because you feel guilty and..."
"I don't know, Addison! All I know is that I haven't been able to think of anything other than wanting to kiss you again since last night."
"Oh..."
"And this damn door of your room... I don't know what this damn door has that pushes me night after night to come here. All I know is that I don't want to leave through it tonight."
"Derek, we can't..." she whispered, with a lump in her throat.
"Tell me you don't want to and I'll leave."
"Derek..."
"Tell me no and I'll leave. I'll buy a new plane ticket and leave as soon as possible," he repeated, getting even closer to her face.
He held her gaze intensely, and she could feel her body reacting to the close contact. Her heart raced at full speed, threatening to escape her chest cavity, and her mouth began to salivate, eager to taste his. Of course, she wanted him to stay, but she couldn't ask him.
Without waiting another minute, Derek leaned in towards her, and their lips met in a passionate kiss.
Addison responded quickly, wrapping her hands around his neck to pull him even closer to her. Once again, she felt that inexplicable magic she had felt the day before, but as much as she enjoyed it, the only thought in her mind was that they needed to stop. What they were doing was wrong, and later, when it was too late and several people were hurt, they would regret it.
"I can't... we shouldn't do this," she murmured with a shaky voice, pulling away to catch her breath, "think about Meredith and..."
Derek looked at her intensely, his breathing fast and his eyes full of desire and anticipation.
"Meredith and I are not together anymore."
And without saying another word, he gently pushed her onto the bed. Addison let herself fall without resistance and held onto him as he positioned himself on top of her.