Across the Lake

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Chapter 2: The Cabin

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I tried taking my mind off the incident that happened twenty minutes ago with Rod. I cranked the radio up so the music would muffle out the argument on repeat in my head. The neighborhoods and streets gradually changed to one, long winding road through the thick, green forest trees that passed by. The smell of pine and earth blew through my open car window. The sun streamed through the opening gaps in the trees. It was hot, but in the patches of shade it was cool.

The road winded around the green mountains. My radio started making static noises. Eventually I turned off the radio when every station was just static. The wind through the trees became my music. I took a deep breath of the fresh air blowing through my windows and exhaled. Breathing in the sweet air instead of old man cologne and beer was very relieving.

My shirt drenched in beer thankfully dried, but still reeked of the cheap alcohol. I decided to stop at the gas station in the town to fill up my tank, but mainly to use the gross, graffiti decorated bathroom to change into a non beer smelling shirt.

When I got out, I paid for my gas. Thankfully it was three dollars cheaper then what I had to pay back home. The old man at the counter stared at me long and hard. He had stubble growing on his chin. He wore a baseball cap and a hunters jacket over a red flannel buttoned up shirt. His faded blue jeans looked like they had seen better days as well as his mud caked boots.

"You a new counselor?" he asked me, his pale blue eyes popping from the red ringed around his eyes, most likely from drinking. I looked up at him. "I'm sorry?" I asked him. He pointed a shaky, wrinkly finger at me. "I warned them kids not to open it up again...you kids never listen..." he said darkly. I hesitated where I stood. Three other older people, locals, were also staring at me.

"...I have no idea what you are talking about, sir. I'm just staying in my dad's cabin for the summer," I said. The old man and the people in the store were still staring at me.

"I warned ya..." was all the old man said, still staring.

Awkward silence filled the small store. My mouth went dry. I rushed out a 'thank you' to the store clerk and quickly shuffled out the door to my car. I locked all the doors when I got in, and drove out of there as fast as I could.

What the hell was that guys problem? New counselor? What did he mean by that? The weird conversation with the store clerk over took the argument with Rod and my mom in my head. Why did he ask me that? Was he threatening me? My blood immediately went cold when I realized I told him that I was staying in a cabin for the summer.

My anxiety jumped up in my chest, causing it to be hard to breathe. I quickly remembered back to my therapy sessions with my therapist. She told me whenever I started feeling the anxiety kick in, I ground myself and take a few deep long slow breaths. I grounded myself by distracting my thoughts. The five senses: touch, smell, sight, hearing, and taste. What am I touching? The steering wheel. What do I smell? the pine trees and rich soils. What do I see? Clear blue skies through a blur of passing trees; and an endless road that needs fixing up. There was a bunch of open cracks and holes from the roots of the trees.

Eventually my anxiety went away, and I was able to think logically: The guy didn't know which cabin I was talking about. There was a bunch of cabins around here, and my dad's was seven miles away from the town. Also the old guy didn't know if I was staying alone or with my dad. The tight feeling went away and I was able to relax and breathe normally again. The guy was a nutcase. Possibly wasn't used to new people.

Even when I was younger, I never liked visiting the town to get groceries or my dad needed new batteries for the flashlights. The whole town and its residents looked like they still lived in the fifties or sixties. With their old cars and old style looking houses. I wouldn't be surprised if each house had an outhouse and a pump for water.

It took two hours and a stop at the gas station to finally make it to the cabin. My dad was standing outside already waiting for me. It too much reminded me of Hannibal waiting in his cell as Clarice arrived, even though he wasn't told he had a visitor. My dad waved to me as I came closer to the cabin. The leaves and rocks crunched underneath my tires till I came to a complete stop.

I haven't seen the cabin since I was ten. On the outside it looked just about the same, give a few wear and tears here and there from the harsh weather and nature. Bits of memories came poking through my mind. Me collecting rocks and flowers. Me running down the steps to the lake in my bathing suit. Me swinging on the tire swing.

My memories faded when I saw my dad walking up to me.

"Hey there, Kiddo!" my dad said to me in his cheery voice. I didn't return the cheery face back, just a half formed smile. He wrapped his arms around me when I got out of my car. I hesitated to give him a hug back. I still didn't respect his decisions and how he treated us in the past. I'm trying to give him a second chance, but you can't remove years worth of emotional damage. I can tell he was trying. He has gone to therapy and has been watching his temper. He has never been into hugs.

"Hi...dad," I said nervously. He stopped hugging me and pretended not to notice my uncomfortableness. "How are you doing? How's your boyfriend? How's school?" he asked me excitedly. My nervous smile fell a little. I told him that me and my boyfriend had broke up. My dad's big smile fell a little. He never liked my boyfriend at the time, but could tell that was very hard for me.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I'm doing better. Taking therapy and focusing on my art."

"I'm glad to hear that."

An awkward silence filled the air between us. I wasn't a fan of awkward silence. I broke the silence after the longest twenty seconds of my life by asking my dad if he could show me a tour of the cabin. His smile came back and he motioned for me to follow him. "I can show you what I added to the cabin!" he said in his excited voice. With that, he spun around and I followed him into the cabin.

The cabin was my dad's favorite place. He was a contractor, and knew a few really good contractor buddies to help him with this dream house. It was a project he had been working on ever since I was a little kid. A two story getaway cottage that was a stones throw away from the edge of a lake. 1,380 square foot. Three bedroom, two bath. The kitchen was on the main floor on one half of the cottage. My dad had added a few things to the cottage since the divorce: An island for the kitchen, as well as a new stovetop and marble countertops. Carved cedar cabinets.

In the living room, there was another leather couch across the old one with an Indian rug underneath. A few of mom's stained glass lamps were still in the living room. All intricate and ornate with dragonflies and butterflies within the metal and colored glass. The newest addition was a moose head hanging above the fireplace.

"It gets cold at night so I suggest collecting firewood while the sun is still up," my dad told my when he noticed me looking at the empty fireplace and the moose head. I nodded my head and made a mental note for that.

"Why is there a moose head?" I asked. My dad shrugged. "Someone was getting rid of it in town and I thought it would be fun to hang in here," he said.

On the cracked mantle was a collection of bullet shells from hunters that would hunt around here. My dad wasn't a hunter, but even when he was little, and his dad would take him and his brother out hunting, my dad would pick up the shells and put them in his pockets. He loved collecting things.

He briefly showed me the basement but we didn't go down there, it was still being worked on and there was a leak that need fixing. We went upstairs and he showed me the new French doors for one of the guest rooms, and the balcony for the master bedroom. The balcony overlooked the wide blue lake. I took a moment to take in the scenery. It was so beautiful. The sunlight hitting the water, causing the surface to glitter like shiny gold coins. The dark green trees reaching the bright blue skies with the tops of their needle branches. The rich smells of the earth and wildflowers.

"Brings you back to the old days huh?" Dad said behind me. I didn't know how to answer him with that.

"Come over here, I need to show you something," my dad replied, pulling me away from the balcony and back into the cabin. Next to the bed was a dresser, on top of that dresser was a heavy duty walkie talkie and a radio. "There is no WIFI or signals up here in the mountains, so the only way you can contact anyone is with this walkie talkie. Here is the index card with everyone's station numbers: mine, the police, the fire department, and the forest ranger's; in case you run into an emergency and need to contact someone."

I nodded my head, but inside my anxiety started going through all the possibilities I would need to use it: A hungry bear, an angry moose, a random fire...that crazy store clerk.

Thankfully my dad pulled me out of my thoughts. "Most likely you wont need to use them, but its just in case." I nodded my head again. My dad looked at me for a moment, looking like he wanted to ask me something, but then dismissed the thought and continued on with his lecture. "And here is a radio. This one can only pick up a few stations, but hopefully you can listen to music while you work and so you don't go insane being alone up here...well, even more insane then your usual self," he joked. I chuckled. He pulled out a flashlight from the top drawer and clicked it on and off. "Every room has a flashlight. So if the power goes out, you have access to one. I'll show you how to work the generator out back after I show you the rest of the cabin."

We walked into the bathroom. The blue and white tile tub was as big as a kiddie pool and the shower had a nice waterfall effect. The blue tiles were arranged like rolling waves of an ocean, and the inside was designed with seashells and a few pine needles, pinecones and red wild berries from outside. My mom decorated the inside of the cabin back when my dad first bought it. Everything that decorated the house was because of my mom.

"...How's your mom?" my dad finally asked. My heart skipped a beat. I knew he was going to ask about her eventually...I just didn't know when. Even so, I was not prepared for it. "...Good," I answered. He nodded, staring ahead. "I passed by the house and saw a truck there...friend visiting?" he asked. There was no reason he had to need to pass by our house. Our house was on a 'not a through street.'

"...Rod," I said. "...Her new boyfriend," I slowly added, but I had a feeling deep down he knew. The silence felt thick in the cabin. I stopped near an open window, breathing in the fresh air. My anxiety was starting to pick up, causing my heart to beat fast and my lungs to feel tight.

"I see..." was all my dad said. I took a couple huge breaths and slowly exhaled right after each one. I turned back to face him. He placed another false smile on his face and motioned me to follow him further into the house. "You can choose any of the rooms to stay in...but I have a feeling I know which one you'll be staying in," he told me, changing the subject from what we were talking about ten seconds ago. I continued following my dad through the rest of the cabin.

I didn't understand my dad's thinking process sometimes. Cheats on my mom, only to dump the girl he had been dating and try to get back with my mom. He had dropped by a few times and left bouquets of roses on the porch. We knew they would be from him. They would have two poorly drawn hearts with my moms initials and my dads initials. Though my moms initials would be with her name and his last name, even though she officially changed her last name back to her maiden name like two years ago. Would've been five years ago if my dad just accepted it and the paperwork process wasn't agonizingly slow. One look at the roses and my mom would immediately dump them in the trash without a second thought.

After showing me the generator and how it worked, we went inside the cabin again for an early lunch. I had a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My dad had a cucumber sandwich and a diet Coke to wash it down.

"Hope this works for you, kiddo," my dad said to me after he was done with his sandwich. He threw the paper plate into the trash next to him. I nodded my head as I looked around. "Yes, this is great, dad. Thanks." He nodded his head. "I'm happy to help out...I know your paintings aren't selling well...but I still believe in you. You just gotta find the right people." I nodded, feeling my heart sink a little. I'm glad my parents supported me, but sometimes I felt like a complete failure. No job, no apartment, no partner to start a family with. My mom was having to pay for my insurance, and since I turned 26, I wasn't part of my mom's insurance any more.

My dad patted my shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You'll get up there. Just gotta connect with other artists. I know you can do it. I hope this break from the world will help you find inspiration again." I nodded my head silently again. My dad smiled warmly and gave me another hug. I hesitated before hugging him back.

"Allright! I'm off to work." My dad said when he pulled away from me. "Remember if you need anything, the walkie talkie is in the master bedroom so you can talk to the forest ranger. And remember to put out your fires with a bucket of water. Don't want Smokey the Bear coming after you," he joked. I chuckled at his silly joke, mostly just to keep the conversation from having any awkward silences. "I know, dad."

He chuckled. "I know you do."

I hesitated for one moment before stopping my dad in his tracks. "Hey dad...um...the store clerk at the gas station...he asked me if I was a new counselor...Do you know what he means?" I asked him. My dad didn't answer right away. He stood at the threshold with his hand on the outside. He turned back around to face me, giving me another one of his fake smiles.

"Just a summer event going on. You don't need to worry about it," he said. Before I could ask what he meant by that, he continued talking. "If you could, please fill up the box with firewood and sweep the porch. And inside if you could straighten the inside up. Clean the bathrooms, the sinks, etc. That's all. I'll deal with thatching the roof and the rest of the tiling in the other bathroom," my dad said.

I decided to drop the counselor subject and nodded my head. Didn't seem too hard of a job. I already helped around the house at home. I was doing the same thing here, but this cabin was bigger then our house. "Ok. Thank you again dad. I really appreciate you helping me out," I said. He smiled soflty and nodded.

"Of course. I know mom can be a bit..." his voice faded. "...You need the break," he said instead. I nodded my head.

"I'll see you at the end of August," he said before heading officially out the door. I stopped where he was just standing and watched him walk down the steps to his truck. I gave him a half hearted wave goodbye as he hopped into his truck and started the engine. He gave me a smile and wave back as he drove off down the only road and disappeared.

I looked up at the cabin. I was going to have the whole place to myself for the whole summer. Three months of isolation. The sun was still high in the sky; I had plenty of time to look for firewood before the sun started to set. I went to my car and started pulling out my suitcase and art bag full of art supplies. I was very excited to start painting the landscapes and trees.

The haunting image of the store clerk clouded my mind again. "You a new counselor?...I warned them kids not to open it up again...you kids never listen...I warned ya..." Everyone's eyes on me. Staring at me.

I decided to push away the ominous idea of the store clerk and his weird threats from my mind and enjoy the rest of the day that I had to myself. I was far away from all of my problems, I didn't have to worry about anything. Just relaxing and painting. I got my easel out and placed it in the shade of a tall oak tree, and placed a fresh blank canvas on it. Setting up the stool and placing the dry paintbrushes in the glass jar full of water. I was already wearing a shirt that had paint on it from a past paint project, so I was ready to start painting.

I sat down in the chair and pulled out my pencil; lightly sketching out the trees and the lake. It felt so good to paint again, and I was painting what I wanted to paint. Not bowls of fake fruit or boring wooden chairs. I was painting nature. All my stress and emotions left my body and went into the painting. Each brush stroke and dab of paint gave me a feeling of pride and excitement. Art was my ectasy.

Phthalo green trees with hints of gold ochre. Azure blue for the lake and hints of indigo. So many colors blending and contrasting each other. The saturated blues and muted soft greens. I smiled to myself as I dipped the brush into the black and started working on the heavy shadows hidden in the shades of the trees.

Halfway through the painting, I saw a strange shape across the lake. At first I thought I was just a fallen over tree that looked like a person in the darkest part of the scenery, and just kept painting it on my canvas. When I looked back up to look at it, it was gone. I paused my paintbrush over the canvas. Was I starting to see things? I rubbed my eyes and looked over where I had seen the dark figure. Nothing.

I looked back on my canvas. The dark figure existed in my painting. I stared at it in silence. Weird...maybe it was a mirage from the lake or something. I have seen images of water acting like a mirror and making boats appear to be floating above the ocean. I dabbed the dark figure with a different color paint till it disappeared where it stood on my canvas.

Just a mirage...