"Seems like," Jason said slowly, stroking Jeremy's hair, "that I was wrong about Da never giving you a good whupping. Probably the only time, or it wouldn't have been so hard for you to remember."

"He c-cried, too,"Jeremy said, without looking up. "Wh-when he g-got done hur-hurting m-me, he p-picked me up and we b-both sat d-down in his ch-chair and cried and cried and cried, until it was m-morning. Then w-we went to bed."

"If it happened at night, where was Josh? I thought it must have been after Josh left for school."

"Good question," Josh agreed. "I wouldn't have left you, especially if he was drinking like you said."

"I know. When I woke up, and you weren't there for ever 'n ever, I thought the m-monster had got you. I guess."

"I wonder, could you have cried yourself into a fever? You remember any time like that, Josh?"

"Not when I wasn't there to know about it," Josh answered, with a shake of his head.

"Could you and Da have had it out over something and it set him off?"

Josh's eyes sparked and he raised his voice and rose to his feet. "Yeah, like I was gonna leave him alone with Da when he was all riled up!"

"I apologize. Just trying to figure out what could have –" Jason shook his head. "I'm having a hard time imagining it, that's all. What could he have done that was so bad? Da never got that mad with him, especially not after Mom – was gone. I was afraid at first he would, because it was mostly she that stopped him. Him being so small and fragile and all." Jason tugged on Jeremy's hair with his last words.

Jeremy managed a small laugh.

"Scare us up something to eat, willya, Josh? The day's half-gone and we haven't had a bite to eat. No wonder we can't figure anything out."

"Yeah, we've only had however many years, but it's because we didn't eat today. We need more coffee, anyway." Josh was glad to have something to do and went to work.

"Jason?" Jeremy sat up, away from Jason's big safe chest and arms.

"Yes, Jeremy?"

"I 'member you and Josh and even M-mama talking ab-bout Da not s-sparing the r-rod bein' why he g-got so m-mean with you and Josh. Mama said he thought that was how to b-be a good Da."

"Mm-hmm."

"Why d-did he th-think that? Because it was what ch-church said?"

"Partly."

Jeremy nodded. "Because Mama t-talked at him ab-bout being m-merciful and k-kindness and stuff?"

"Yeah."

Jeremy slid off Jason's lap and stretched. "What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said partly," Josh reminded Jason.

"Oh. The other part is just what I said earlier. He thought, felt, believed that that was the best way, if not the only way, of being a good Da. That's the way most people think and do."

" I don't think he liked doing it, Jeremy. If he didn't have a drink or two before, he had 'em after."

"Mostly after," Jason said dryly. "He lost his temper too damn fast. With both of us."

"I can agree with that," Josh agreed. "He even got mad at Mom a few times but she'd just square off and dare him. Not even up to his shoulder, and she dared him! Gosh, how he laughed."

"And p-picked her up in a circle and her hair flied around in the circle, and her bottom, too."

"It's called a dress, silly boy. Or skirt, which is the bottom of a dress."

"Ha. Is silly better or worser than dumb?"

"You tell me." Josh tousled Jeremy's hair as he passed by.

Jason laughed and got busy helping with the meal.

Jason watched, frowning, as Jeremy poked at his food, not eating much. He was worried about the physical effects of the fight, and then last night he'd fallen backward. Lack of appetite wasn't a good sign.

"Jeremy? You okay?"

Jeremy nodded slowly and stabbed at his plate. "Jason, d'you think that j-judge is here yet?"

"Someone will let us know. You know you don't have to worry about that, don't you?"
Jeremy smiled and shrugged.

"What's on your mind, lil brother?" Josh asked, scraping his plate clean, and forking Jeremy's meat onto it.

Jeremy shot him a grateful look. "I was thinking about Mama. 'Member when we had t-teas? To t-teach us how to be civilized?"

"Uh-huh. And how to talk to people? I remember. She was really teaching herself how to talk to people without freezing up. Some of the situations she had us pretend! Like having the reverend for dinner? How many times did we practice that?"

Jeremy shrugged. "I c-couldn't c-count back then."

"Jason was lucky, working with Da,or just wandering the mountain. He never had to ask the rev if he wanted tea or coffee."

Jeremy laughed. "And he w-wasn't there to eat all the c-cookies."

"Hey!" Jason objected.

"Do you want to practice talking to the judge?"

"I was thinkin' ab-bout it."

"It's a good idea. Do you want one of us to be the judge, or just imagine him?"

Jason sat back and watched and waited. He had been subjected to 'tea time' a few times, but had usually made an excuse to be gone from the house when that happened. Eventually it had grown into a regular weekly event. Tuesday or Thursday, he thought.

It had been a good idea for Mom, too. She was incredibly shy, especially after they'd moved to America and crossed the country. It was one thing that Da didn't like, and there wasn't much about Mom you could say that about. They argued about it a lot.

It didn't get any better when Jeremy would try to hide when they went into town. Da told Mom if she didn't fix that, he would. He would not tolerate any child of his acting the coward. He only tolerated her timidity because he knew she wasn't, but she was setting a bad example.

The next day, Jeremy, who then was around two, told his mama he was too little to be a cow. She had laughed until she cried, and then invented tea parties.

Josh was rearranging the room to make it look like a courtroom. Not doing too bad a job of it, either. Jason loved it when his brothers worked together, and they were doing it more often with less arguing beforehand – or after. It was great.

"We've nominated you judge," Josh told him. "But you get to be yourself, too. Think you can handle two roles?"

"To what do I owe the honor?"

"You've had the most experience with real judges."

"Sensible," Jason agreed, accepting his role(s) and his seat on the improvised 'bench'.

They worked through a few scenarios – Jason had a lot of fun being both himself and the opposing judge. Jeremy did gain confidence from the rehearsals, which led to more and more extravagant and unlikely surprises from the judge (which Jason as Jason objected to) and the three brothers were satisfied with their experiment.

"Thanks," Jeremy said briefly.

"Why are you so worried about this, Jeremy?"

Jeremy shook his head. "I d-don't want the judge to think there's something wrong ab-bout me. He might wanna m-make me go away."

"Oh. I hadn't considered that." Jason put his elbows on the table, folded his hands and propped his chin on them while he thought over Jeremy's concern.

Jeremy and Josh waited.

Jason raised his head and put down his hands. "That's not a concern of mine, although I can see it is for you. For one thing, we're all older, and you've been growing all this time; not turning into some kind of blithering idiot. More importantly, if it came to that, we would hideout in our mountain lair and wait them out. I'll not let that happen."

"What if you c-can't help it?"

"I can, and I will, should it be necessary."

Jeremy nodded. "Okay."

"Good," Josh wrapped up the conversation. "Now we can get the dishes done. Think we'll work tomorrow, Jason?"

"Maybe. We'll take a look in the morning."