The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another great and hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, The Summer of Vacation continues when Sean the Mayhem Critic takes a look at the top 11 funniest moments from the Vacation film series. So here it is, the next chapter of the Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: As before, I do not own anything involved in this story and all material belong to their respective sources. The Vacation film series is owned by Warner Bros.
The Summer of Vacation Part III: The Top 11 Funniest Vacation Moments
Sean J. Archer, a.k.a. The Mayhem Critic, is seen once again sitting at his desk once more. This time, he is listening to Lindsey Buckingham's Holiday Road and starts singing while Dave is trying to get his attention.
"Uh, Sean? Sean? Dude, you're on." Dave said as Sean looks up t the camera and stops singing and sits his phone down on the desk.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. And we're still continuing…." Sean said as he gets up from out of his seat before speaking in a deep, booming voice. "THE SUMMER OF VACATION!"
(Footage from the Vacation film series is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Ah, yes. Vacation film series shows us what happens when family vacations go wrong. The film tells the tale about Clark Griswold taking his family on a different family vacation and chaos ensues. The film series has some of it's funniest moments, some of the films have some of it's dumbest moments. Hell, the film series have made one of their stupidest decisions.
(A poster for National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Ugh, we'll get to that one soon. Trust me. But, there are some of the funniest moments from most of the films that I like. Ones that made me laugh the most. That is why I'm taking a look at the Top 11 funniest moments from the greatest comedies of all time. Which ones had the most laughs, which ones had the best moments?
"Now, I have one exception: I am not counting Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure because that one sucked balls. But aside from that, everything else is fair game. And we're taking a look at the Top 11 Funniest Vacation Moments. Why top 11? Do I have to go on a Clark Griswold-style rant here? Let's all travel down on the Holiday Road, this is the Top 11 Funniest Vacation Moments!" Sean said.
(A montage of the films in the Vacation film series is shown while Lindsey Buckingham's Holiday Road starts playing)
Number 11: Clark Meets Bike (National Lampoon's European Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) National Lampoon's European Vacation had one of the most funniest moments and this one has to be one of my favorites in the film. It all starts with Clark driving badly in London and hitting a couple of cars, then he has a run in with a bike rider, played hilariously by Eric Idle.
The Bike Rider (Played by Eric Idle): (While Ellen and Clark is helping him up) Oh, no problem. No problem, squire. No harm done. It doesn't hurt much at all.
Sean: (Narrating) They got one of the actors from Monty Python in the movie and they picked the right guy. And the funny thing about this scene, is that they showed the guy pretty banged up when he says that he's perfectly alright when he's not.
The Bike Rider: (While giving directions): Well, you go back the way you came, and you keep going to…
(Blood spurts from out of the Bike Rider's wrist and Ellen yelps.
Sean: (Narrating) And then he makes a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The Bike Rider: It's just a flesh wound, honestly.
"Boy, those Pythons and their flesh wounds." Sean said.
The Bike Rider: It's just a leg, I've got another one.
Sean: (Narrating) This is one of the greatest comedic scenes of all time. It's right up there with Abbott & Costello's Who's On First?. Not to mention, this guy has a run-in with Clark like three times in the movie. When he bumps into Clark at the hotel in Rome, he had that expression on his face and he's thinking, "Oh, shit. It's him again." That poor guy. Can we give him a holiday without Clark Griswald injuring him?
The Bike Rider: Goodbye, have a nice holiday.
(The Bike Rider leaves)
Number 10: Light Show (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) In one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time, we see that Clark is struggling to get the lights to work right. Boy, this guy is lucky enough to not turn into Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. This was the makings of a classic yet hilarious scene.
Ellen Griswold (Played by Beverly D'Angelo): You used more than one cord, didn't you?
Clark Griswold (Played by Chevy Chase): Maybe the kids have been fooling around with it. I'll go check it out.
Sean: (Narrating) When Clark's mom turned the lights on while Clark is checking the extension cord, Ellen is calling out to Clark and we see a bunch of bright lights all over the house, interrupting their next-door neighbors Todd and Margo's romantic evening. Not to mention, it caused the power in the neighborhood to go off and luckily the power company had auxiliary power to turn on the electricity in the neighborhood. Next, when Ellen turns the light in the basement on and checks the cords, Clark jumps in joy seeing that the lights are finally on, then the lights cut off and Clark just freaks the fuck out.
(Clark goes berserk, kicking around the decorations in rage after the lights cut off)
(A clip from American Housewife plays)
Katie Otto (Played by Katy Mixon): Hey! Calm down!
Sean: (Narrating) But when he plugs in the lights and Ellen turns the power back on, Clark sees the lights turning on, he is overjoyed and Hallelujah starts playing. Making this classic scene #10 on the list. Luckily, none of the neighbors have gone blind.
Clark Griswold: (Sings) Joy to the world!
Number 9: The Buffet Scene (Vegas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) As much as I didn't care for Vegas Vacation, this movie had it's fair share of funny moments. In this scene, Eddie takes Clark to a casino buffet.
Cousin Eddie (Played by Randy Quaid): Best $1.49 buffet in town, Clark.
"$1.49 buffet in town? I don't remember Golden Corral being like this." Sean said.
Sean: See, every time I eat at a buffet, I'm reminded of this scene and this scene shows almost every nightmarish buffet cross contamination scenario that occurs in this scene.
(Eddie pulls a bag out from the back of his pants and grabs a couple of rolls and putting them in the bag)
Clark Griswold: Fresh broccoli.
(Cousin Eddie sneezes on the broccoli)
Clark Griswold: God bless you. Maybe I'll just replace these. (Removes the broccoli from off of his plate and grabs a carrot) Just get a carrot.
Sean: (Narrating) Like good god! This buffet is one big health code violation and boy the food looked disgusting. The food at Golden Corral wasn't like that. I mean, who serves blue beef and yellow chicken? I've never been to Las Vegas and I hope that their buffet is not like that in real life. And to top it all off, Clark tells Eddie how much money he gambled way.
Clark Griswold: $22, 600.
Cousin Eddie: (Yells) Oh, God! Oh, God! OH, MY GOD!
"Poor guy. Clark can't do anything right." Sean said.
Sean: If you like going to buffets, then this scene will make you not eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet. That's why this scene makes the #9 spot.
Cousin Eddie: May I have some of the, um, some of the yellow? And don't get cheap on me. (Chuckles)
Number 8: White Water Rafting (Vacation 2015)
Chad (Played by Charlie Day): You must be the Fong family?
(Rusty and his family look confused)
Chad: I'm just messin'! You're the Griswolds, right?
Rusty Griswold (Played by Ed Helms): Yes, that's right.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from the film having some problems here and there. This is one scene that had me cracking up. In this scene, Rusty takes his family whitewater rafting and they meet this fun-loving instructor, played by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Charlie Day.
Chad: First off, do any of you know this river? 'Cause this is my first time.
(Rusty and his family stay silent for a bit)
Chad: I'm kidding. (Laughs)
Sean: (Narrating) Then, he gets a phone call from his fiancée and he turns into a crying mess when she breaks up with him and Chad freaks out and throws his phone.
(The Griswolds watch as Chad starts crying loudly)
Chad: (After he's done crying) Who's ready to go to the river?
Sean: (Narrating) Now you're probably thinking, "How bad could it be?". Well, it gets worse when Chad goes crazy and tries to kill the family. It turns into a bad scene from The River Wild.
"The River what?" Brian asked.
"The River Wild. The movie with Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon." Sean said. "Come on! You might've heard of it."
Sean: (Narrating) When you put a character in dangerous situation, it tends to get hilarious. Everything about this scene makes it so funny and the payoff is just right. You know what they say, love hurts when you're Chad.
(Chad goes down the waterfall and screams)
Number 7: Christmas Dinner (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, classic Christmas dinner scene ever in one of the best Christmas movies ever. This is one of the most hilarious scenes ever.
Nora Griswold (Played by Diane Ladd): Grace!
Aunt Bethany (Played by the late Mae Questel): Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
Uncle Louis (Played by the late William Hickey): They want you to say grace.
Sean: (Narrating) This is one of my favorite scenes because in this scene, it has a hilarious setup. You have Betty Boop and Olive Oyl's voice actress trying to say grace instead she says the Pledge of Allegiance.
Aunt Bethany: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
Sean: (Narrating) Then everyone joins in and Clark is trying to figure out what the hell is going on. But the best part of this scene was when Clark tries to carve the turkey that Cousin Catherine fixed and the turkey explodes.
(The turkey splits apart)
Cousin Catherine (Played by Miriam Flynn): (Crying) I told you we put it in too early.
"Well, you should've basted the turkey." Sean said. "But then I say, turkey's pretty good, but I prefer either pot roast or ribs. Or a nice steak and lobster."
Sean: (Narrating) Plus, there's something that I have just noticed on the scene and from watching the Nostalgia Critic's video on Christmas Vacation and I definitely missed that part. When you watch the scene, you'll notice Ellen suddenly flinging the turkey off of her fork and pretends to eat it.
(The scene is shown where Ellen flings the turkey off of her fork and pretends to eat)
"Yeah, play that back." Sean said.
(The scene plays back again)
Sean: (Narrating) See! See! I just noticed that! The turkey is so bad Ellen flings it off of her fork. If you blink, you might miss it. This is one Christmas dinner turned into a disaster. Making it onto the #7 spot on the list.
Clark Griswold: Here's the heart.
Number 6: Cousin Eddie (National Lampoon's Vacation/Christmas Vacation/Vegas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) What could I say about Cousin Eddie in the film series? Well, he's a nut but Randy Quaid is nuttier in real life.
(An article titled Randy Quaid Posts Bizarre NSFW 'Sex Video' With Wife In Rupert Murdoch Mask. Then another article titled Randy Quaid Exposes The Illuminati is shown)
"Yeah, this guy really lost it. Clark needs to give him some money." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, this character is loveable and one of the craziest characters in the film series. With Eddie, he has a series of problems in his life, unlike his portrayer in real life.
(A video of Randy Quaid is shown)
Randy Quaid: So, Rupert. You wanna fuck me, I'm gonna fuck you.
"No! We're not going to show the video. This is a family-friendly story." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) He's one of those relatives that tend to annoy you, kinda like a nuisance alligator. He has a metal plate in his head, he has a daughter who's a stripper. Hell, some of his kids have some problems. Not to mention, he has a snotty dog.
Cousin Eddie: (On Snots) We named him that because he got this sinus condition.
Sean: (Narrating) If you want, he can treat you to a $1.49 all-you-can-eat buffet with contaminated food.
Cousin Eddie: The bread pudding is extra runny tonight.
"No, thanks. I would rather have the banana pudding." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) If Clark can't stand him, then I bet you will. That's why Cousin Eddie is #6 on the list.
"I wonder how much money Cousin Eddie needs." Sean said, pulling out his checkbook.
Cousin Eddie: 'Bout $52,000.
Sean doesn't sign the check and puts his checkbook away.
"You're scum, Eddie." Sean said.
Number 5: German Brawlfest (National Lampoon's European Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) If there's anyone who could ruin a perfectly good German folk dance, then there's Clark W. Griswald. The dude immediately turned a German folk dance into an all-out brawl.
(One of the dancers slap Clark in the face)
"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to slap someone during those types of German folk dances, not punch them." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And then the guy continues to slap Clark around until Clark can't take it anymore. And with Clark being the dumb American…
(Clark punches the dancer)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah. Then, a huge fight breaks out with everybody acting like they're at the Source Awards.
(Cutaway Gag)
Sean: (as a German Folk Dancer holding an AK-47) Fuck this Oktoberfest crap!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) I mean, good god. He's lucky that he didn't cause an international incident. Who am I kidding? He did! Remind me never to start a fist fight at Oktoberfest or this will happen.
(The bells start ringing)
Rusty's German Girl: They're going to hang somebody!
"Yikes!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) This is one disastrous folk dance that you do not want to be a part of.
(The all-out street brawl is shown)
Number 4: Asleep At the Wheel (National Lampoon's Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) Remember watching videos of idiots falling asleep at the wheel on YouTube or on World's Dumbest Drivers? Well, this is an example of dumb drivers falling asleep at the wheel.
(Clark is shown falling asleep at the wheel and driving uncontrollably)
Sean: (Narrating) Well, that's one way to kick off your family vacation. This scene shows Clark's pure stupidity, which would make you yell at the television screen.
(Clark is asleep at the wheel, almost hitting a man and almost hitting a car)
"Dude, wake up." Sean said.
(The car is driving on the curb of the sidewalk)
"Wake up, you idiot." Sean said.
(Clark, still asleep, drives through the yard of a couple of houses)
(A video of Terry Crews yelling out "Wake Up!" is shown)
Terry Crews: I said WAKE UP!
(Clark wakes up and screams, then hits the breaks as they arrive at a motel)
Terry Crews: (V/O) GET YOUR ASS UP!
Sean: (Narrating) Geez, did he like take a sleeping pill or something or was he just too tired to drive? Ladies and gentlemen, take one good lesson, do not fall asleep while driving.
"Clark, for making the number four spot in the countdown, you should have your license suspended." Sean said.
Clark Griswold: I think you're all fucked in the head.
Number 3: Thor's Hammer (Vacation 2015)
Rusty Griswold: Not sure if you need a hand out there but I'd love to help.
Stone Crandall (Played by Chris Hemsworth): Well, I can always use an extra set of hands.
Rusty Griswold: Well, I was born with an extra set of hands.
Stone Crandall: That's an odd thing to say.
Sean: (Narrating) Let's talk about Stone Crandall. Well, what can I say about this guy? Well, he's married to Rusty's sister Audrey, he's hunky, a bit of a douchebag. And he's played by the mighty Avenger himself, Chris Hemsworth. I mean, I've seen him do serious stuff but him doing comedy, he just cracks me up in this one. I mean it's not the only time we've seen Chris Hemsworth make a fool out of himself in comedies.
(A clip from the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters is shown)
Kevin (Played by Chris Hemsworth): Hey, that man went out the wrong door.
Sean: (Narrating) Right. But here's a scene where Stone decides to show off….
(Stone enters the room in only his boxer briefs. We see that his erection is poking out)
We cut to Sean, who is shown with his eyes widened and his jaw slowly dropping.
Stone Crandall: Man, sure is beautiful here this time of year, ain't it? And quiet. Listen. You hear that?
Rusty Griswold: No.
Stone Crandall: Exactly, it's perfect silence.
Sean: (Narrating) Boy, the amount penis jokes for this scene. He just came in the room and Rusty and his wife Debbie just got a good look at Thor's stormbreaker. It's as big as Thor's hammer. Hela from Thor: Ragnarok couldn't break that.
(A clip from Home Alone 3 is shown)
Alex Pruitt (Played by Alex D. Linz): Ouch.
Sean: (Narrating) I have no words to say but what a jerk.
Debbie Griswold (Played by Christina Applegate) Biggest jerk I've ever seen.
Number 2: Sewer Rat (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) So, you think that Clark and his family are going to have a good-old fashioned family Christmas that's perfect? Well, with Cousin Eddie and his family around, it's destined to become a disaster. Clark comes downstairs for breakfast and looks out the window, and what does his wondering eyes see?
Clark Griswold: An asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
(Clark and Ellen see Eddie emptying his RV's toilet into the sewer)
Cousin Eddie: Shitter was full!
Sean: (Narrating) Like ewww! He knows better! It's illegal to do that. I guess that how Pennywise the Clown appeared when he killed Georgie Denbrow. And to top it off, one of the neighbors spot Cousin Eddie doing that and the dude made the smartest decision to just go back in the house. Yeah, that's how crazy Clark's family are. With a scene so hilarious and gross, this deserves the number two spot, pun intended.
Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!
Number 1:
"And the number one funniest Vacation moment of all time is…" Sean said before revealing the moment.
Ranting Griswold (National Lampoon's Vacation/National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, okay. I know I'm cheating a little bit here because both of these scenes are pretty hilarious and one of the best bits in the Vacation film series. In the first one, Ellen and the kids had enough of the trip and want to go home because it's been a big disaster, and in Christmas Vacation, Clark goes in full-meltdown mode when the perfect family Christmas becomes a huge disaster. Both of those classic scenes are some of the funniest moments in the Vacation film series.
Clark Griswold: We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well, I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation! It's a quest! It's a quest for fun!
Sean: (Narrating) With his wife and kids watching him going insane, Clark becomes obsessed with getting to Wally World.
Clark Griswold: (Laughs) I got to be crazy. I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of living hell, take a look at this classic scene where Clark gets screwed over by his boss because instead of getting his bonus, he gets a free year's membership for the Jelly of the Month Club. And then he just snaps and goes on a tirade about his boss.
Clark Griswold: I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit!
Sean: (Narrating) Wow. This has got to be my favorite rants in movie history. Somebody give this guy a Tylenol or shoot him with a tranquilizer dart. Better yet, give this guy a drink. He's lucky that he didn't get a heart attack or his head exploded.
Clark Griswold: Where's the Tylenol?
"And that was my top 11 funniest Vacation moments. If there are any moments that I've forgotten, feel free to mention it in the comments section. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, tune in for more of The Summer of Vacation when we take a look at one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time….we're taking a look at it in July. See you guys next time for National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Sean said and got out of his seat, then sits back down. "Oh, and one more thing….IT'S CHRISTMAS!"
Sean starts playing Johnny Mathis' rendition of It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year and pulls out a Santa hat.
"In July." Sean smiled as the song continues to play.
And that was The Mayhem Critic's top 11 Funniest Vacation Moments. I hope you all liked that little countdown. Okay, so I will be taking a little break from writing this and wait till July to post the Christmas Vacation review with fellow writer Boris Yeltsin co-reviewing this movie with me. Next time, The Summer of Vacation continues when Sean and Brian take a look at one of the best Christmas movies and one of the best sequels in the Vacation series, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Christmas in July is going to be a great start. Don't forget to review this story, add this to your favorites and follow it for future updates. So, I have plans for The Mayhem Critic in September after I'm finished with The Summer of Vacation, I'm thinking of reviewing the Netflix movie Death Note and I'm thinking that it could be a co-review. If anyone's a big Anime fan and interested in co-reviewing the movie Death Note with me, then feel free to PM me and I'll let you know. Then after Death Note, I'm reviewing either the James Bond movies License to Kill, Die Another Day or GoldenEye or even A View to a Kill, then after Bond I'm reviewing Demolition Man. I hope that you're excited. See you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.