The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Hope that you all are having a happy new year and guess what, I'm starting 2019 off with a bang with a new chapter of this story and work on a couple of updates on Riverdale: Tales of Love, Juliet's World, The Blood of Family and post new stories for American Housewife, Speechless, Pretty Little Liars, Girl Meets World, Fuller House, I Am Frankie, Coop and Cami Ask the World, Modern Family and Alexa & Katie. And also more Riverdale stories. Anyway, here's the newest chapter of 2019 for The Mayhem Critic and it's been a while since I've done a Top 11 countdown. Here it is, the Top 11 Seinfeld Episodes for The Mayhem Critic. Sit back, relax and enjoy.
P.S.: As before, I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Seinfeld is owned by West/Shapiro Productions, Giggling Goose Productions, Fred Barron Production and Castle Rock Entertainment.
Episode Forty-Six
The Top 11 Seinfeld Episodes
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said, making his usual introduction. "Well, it's 2019 and I'm starting this new year off great. Which means, I'll be bringing you more reviews on my new HP touchscreen laptop. Hell, it's better than my old laptop. Anyway, let's talk about Seinfeld."
(A clip from the Seinfeld episode "The Marine Biologist" is shown)
Kramer (Played by Michael Richards): Hey, who wants to have some fun?
(Clips from various episodes of Seinfeld are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) What can I say about the show about nothing? It's hilarious. The show ran for nine seasons from 1989 to 1998 and it was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. It's impossible to say something about this hilarious sitcom that hasn't been said dozens of times before. We love seeing the misadventures of comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his friends and the silly situations that they get into in these episodes. The show was a big part of the 90s with it's one-liners.
Jerry Seinfeld: But I don't wanna be a pirate!/We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Kramer: Yama hama, it's fright night.
Elaine Benes (Played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus): Get out! (She pushes Jerry)
Timmy (Played by Kieran Mulroney): You double-dipped the chip!
Jerry Seinfeld: Hello, Newman.
George Costanza (Played by Jason Alexander): I was in the pool!
Elaine Benes: (After realizing the gift that Dr. Tim Whatley gave her was re-gifted) He's a re-gifter!
Frank Costanza (Played by Jerry Stiller): Serenity now!
Jerry Seinfeld: These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Kramer: These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Elaine Benes: These pretzels are making me thirsty.
George Costanza: These pretzels… are making me thirsty!
Elaine Benes: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
"Yeah, it's a lot of memorable one-liners for me to list on this review." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, that's how iconic this show is. From dinner party etiquette to Junior Mints to getting caught picking your nose at a stop light, there's no situation that small for the show to tackle. But hey, wasn't Seinfeld funny? Yes, it's still is despite the show becoming overrated. But hey, this show left no stone unturned, with an episode tackling a taboo subject. And we get our favorite episodes of the show. There 180 episodes and a lot to choose from. Which ones are the most funniest, which one are the most iconic?
"Well, let's head back to Monk's and grab ourselves a booth because we're doing a Top 11 Best Seinfeld episodes. Why Top 11? Because I can only sum it up to you with one word… Nothing." Sean said.
(A clip from the Seinfeld episode "The Pitch" is shown)
Russell Dalrymple (Played by Bob Balaban): Nothing?
George Costanza: Nothing.
"Nothing." Sean said. "This is the Top 11 Seinfeld Episodes."
(The Seinfeld theme plays and we get photos of Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer and a group shot of Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer is shown with Sean added in the group photo)
Number 11: The Raincoats (Season 5, Episodes 18/19)
Sean: (Narrating) One of my favorite episodes from the show's fifth season and my favorite season ever. The episode deals with Kramer and Jerry's dad Morty going into business together into selling Morty's raincoats. This episode has a lot of funny moments crammed into one episode. Aside from Kramer and Morty going into business with each other, you got a plot involving Elaine's new boyfriend Aaron, played hilariously by Judge Reinhold, and he starts hanging around Jerry's parents and he has this little quirk.
Helen Seinfeld (Played by Liz Sheridan): What's he like?
Jerry Seinfeld: He's nice. A bit of a close talker.
Helen Seinfeld: A what?
"We see that in the show Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer end up dating someone with some kind of personality quirks. And you're gonna see the big deal with Aaron." Sean said.
Aaron (Played by Judge Reinhold): (Stands unusually close to Jerry when speaking to him, disrupting his personal space) How about you, Jerry?
Jerry Seinfeld: I'm swamped.
Aaron: You sure? You can examine the art work up close.
"Yeah, if somebody stands close up to my face, I'm punching them square in the face. I hate it when people do that. It's too fucking annoying." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) One of my favorite moments from the episode would have to be in The Raincoats Part 2, where Jerry and his girlfriend Rachel, played by Melanie Smith, are making out in the movie theater during Schindler's List and while they were making out, Newman catches them, which results in this.
Helen Seinfeld: How could you?
Jerry Seinfeld: How could I what?
Helen Seinfeld: You were making out during Schindler's List?
Jerry Seinfeld: What? No.
Morty Seinfeld (Played by the late Barney Martin): Don't lie, Jerry.
Jerry Seinfeld: Newman.
Helen Seinfeld: How could you do such a thing?
Jerry Seinfeld: I couldn't help it. We hadn't been alone together in a long time. We just kinda started up a little during the coming attractions and the next thing we knew the war was over.
Sean: (Narrating) Jerry Seinfeld commented that Steven Spielberg got so depressed while filming the movie Schindler's List, he would watch tapes of Seinfeld episodes to cheer himself up. But who makes out during Schindler's List. Well, I understand that the film is 4hrs. long but still. You just don't do that. It's one of my favorite jokes throughout the episode especially when Aaron whips out a line from Schindler's List right when Jerry's parents leave for Florida.
Aaron: I could've done more. I could've done so much more.
(A clip from Schindler's List is shown)
Oskar Schindler (Played by Liam Neeson): I could have got more out. I could have got more.
Sean: (Narrating) From close-talking boyfriends to selling raincoats to making out during Schindler's List, that's one episode making the list.
Rudy: (After burning Frank's cabana shirts) Lousy moth ridden crap.
Number 10: The Junior Mint (Season 4, Episode 21)
Sean: (Narrating) A classic episode from season four, Jerry ends up meeting a woman at the supermarket by the produce section and the two starts hitting it off and Jerry, being self-centered as ever, forgets her name and he tries everything to figure it out.
Mystery Woman (Played by Susan Walters): What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy?
Sean: (Narrating) And yes, that's Susan Walters and fun fact, she's married to Johnny Cage's portrayer Linden Ashby. Now, back to Jerry. He's trying desperately to figure out his date's name because it rhymes with a female body part.
George Costanza: Now, let's try "breast." Celeste. Kest.
Jerry Seinfeld: No.
George Costanza: Rest. Sest. Hest.
Jerry Seinfeld: Hest? That's not a name.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from that, Elaine's got the hots for her slimmed-down ex Roy, George buys a shitload of art from Elaine's ex and the biggest highlight of the episode is when Jerry and Kramer are observing Roy's surgery with Kramer treating it like it's a movie theater when he starts snacking on some Junior Mints, resulting in this.
Jerry Seinfeld: Kramer, stop it.
(Jerry accidentally knocks the Junior Mint from out of Kramer's hand, causing it to drop into Roy's surgical cavity during the operation)
Jerry Seinfeld: Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing, into the patient.
George Costanza: What do you mean, "Into the patient"?
Jerry Seinfeld: Into the patient. Literally.
George Costanza: Into the hole?
Jerry Seinfeld: Yes. The hole.
George Costanza: Didn't they notice it?
Jerry Seinfeld: No.
George Costanza: How could they not notice it?
Jerry Seinfeld: Because it's a little mint. It's a Junior Mint.
Sean: (Narrating) But what makes this episode so iconic and so great was at the end of the episode where Jerry finally remembers his date's name.
Jerry Seinfeld: (After he finally remembers the woman's name) Oh! Oh! Delores!
"And you all are probably wondering what part of the female anatomy rhymes with the name Delores. Well, there's a little part of the female anatomy that starts with the letter "C" and it's not "Cervix"." Sean said as his cat Riley meows.
Sean: (Narrating) This was the first episode written by Andy Robin, who would go on to write a couple more episodes with Gregg Kavet in seasons 6-9, and with storylines so bizarre, they're pretty funny and Andy Robin nailed it with this episode. And you know what they say about Junior Mints…
Kramer: It's chocolate, it's peppermint. It's delicious.
Jerry Seinfeld: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing.
Number 9: The Baby Shower (Season 2, Episode 4)
Sean: (Narrating) This is from one of Seinfeld's earliest seasons and the first episode written by Borat director Larry Charles, this episode deals with Elaine throwing a baby shower at Jerry's apartment for a former girlfriend who used to date George and George tries to get his revenge on her for pouring Bosco chocolate syrup all over his red shirt. You have these different storylines coming together in one episode. You get the baby shower storyline, then there's the illegal cable storyline and George's storyline and they're all weaved together which is very clever for a sitcom.
Kramer: (On getting illegal cable) I'm offering you 56 channels. Movies, sports, nudity and it's free for life!
Jerry Seinfeld: What you're suggesting is illegal.
Kramer: It's not illegal.
Jerry Seinfeld: But it's against the law.
Kramer: Well, yeah.
Sean: (Narrating) And then you have the infamous dream sequence, in which it involves Jerry getting busted by the FBI for getting illegal cable and it turns out that the Russian Guy, played by Vic Polizos, is an undercover FBI agent. And in the dream sequence, Jerry gets gunned down by the FBI. Man, that was a bit dark for a sitcom, it almost looked like something from out of a Quentin Tarantino film!
(The dream sequence where Jerry gets killed by the FBI is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Which leads to one of my favorite lines from the episode.
Kramer: Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?
Sean: (Narrating) I've watched the Inside Look of the episode on my Seinfeld Seasons 1 and 2 DVD and Larry Charles boasts about killing more people in sitcoms than anybody else. For the sitcoms he written for, he probably done that. But hey, we love dark humor more than the next guy. Even though this episode got negative reviews after it first aired, I still find it enjoyable to watch. Coming in at number 9.
Kramer: Hey, come on over. Doctor Zhivago's on cable in five minutes. I'm making popcorn!
(Jerry, Elaine and George turn and look at Kramer)
Number 8: The Limo (Season 3, Episode 18)
Sean: (Narrating) This is one episode that I always like to watch and people ask me why do I like this episode and as risky and edgy as it is today when it first aired back in 1992 and watching this episode again, I still find it to be freaking hilarious. In this episode, Jerry and George pick up a limo at the airport, which is meant for this guy O'Brien, who's in Chicago. And George pretends to be O'Brien.
Jerry Seinfeld: What if we get caught?
George Costanza: What's gonna happen? They can't kill us.
Sean: (Narrating) And yada yada yada, turns out that this O'Brien guy that George is masquerading as is Donald O'Brien, a high-profile Neo-Nazi, who's scheduled to make his first public appearance at the Paramount Theater to deliver a speech at the rally.
"Yikes." Sean said.
George Costanza: I'm telling you, the jig is up.
Jerry Seinfeld: It was a bad jig to begin with. We never should've started this jig.
George Costanza: It was a good jig.
Jerry Seinfeld: It was a bad jig. A terrible, terrible jig.
"You guys should've known that the dude's a Neo-Nazi. What did you expect when they have you read over a faxed copy of his speech about antisemitism, anti-Zionism and white supremacy?" Sean asked.
George Costanza: (Reads over O'Brien's speech) And the Jews steal our money through their Zionist-occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities.
Jerry Seinfeld: You're not going to open with that, are you?
Sean: (Narrating) This episode is like a thriller but with added comedy. And writers Larry Charles and Marc Jaffe keep the jokes coming by cutting to Elaine and Kramer who are hanging out on the street corner waiting for Jerry and George and Kramer putting the pieces together saying that Jerry is secretly the leader of the Aryan Union.
Elaine Benes: Jerry's a Nazi?
Kramer: I can't even believe I didn't see it.
Elaine Benes: Listen, you idiot, just calm down. I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi.
Kramer: No?
Elaine Benes: No. He's just neat.
Sean: (Narrating) Guns, riding, angry protestors trying to kill them and we get one of the funniest climaxes ever in which George is confronted by screaming protestors on live TV, and you got yourself a hilarious episode.
George Costanza: I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien! I repeat, I am not O'Brien! Ask anyone. Jerry! Jerry!
Number 7: The Bubble Boy (Season 4, Episode 7)
Sean: (Narrating) Here's one classic episode that is pretty hilarious and is written by Larry David and Larry Charles. In the episode, Jerry agrees to visit a fan who's ill and he has to live in a bubble.
Jerry Seinfeld: A bubble?
Elaine Benes: A bubble?
Mel Sanger (Played by Brian Doyle-Murray): Yes, a bubble.
Sean: (Narrating) Jerry, Elaine, George and George's new girlfriend Susan, played by Heidi Swedberg, are on their way to Susan's father's cabin in the woods while they drive to the Bubble Boy's house, until Jerry gets lost because of George's driving. Then hijinks ensues when Jerry and Elaine stop off at a diner and he gives another fan an autographed picture of himself with this lame response.
Waitress (Played by O-Lan Jones): Nothing's finer than being in your diner.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, how lame and embarrassing is that? Meanwhile, George and Susan are at the Bubble Boy's house and play some Trivial Pursuit with him.
George Costanza: Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?
Donald (Voiced by Jon Hayman): That's a joke. The Moors.
George Costanza: Oh, no. I'm so sorry. It's the "Moops." The correct answer is the "Moops".
Donald: Moops? Let me see that.
(George hands Donald the card)
Donald: That's not Moops, you jerk. It's Moors. It's a misprint.
George Costanza: I'm sorry. The card says Moops.
Donald: It doesn't matter. It's Moors. There's no Moops.
George Costanza: It's Moops.
Donald: Moors.
George Costanza: Moops.
Donald: Moors!
(We cut to Donald, trying to kill George by strangling him)
George Costanza: Help. Someone….
Donald: There's no Moops, you idiot!
Sean: (Narrating) And where's Kramer in all of this? Well, he's out setting a cabin on fire.
Susan Ross (Played by Heidi Swedberg): (After seeing her father's cabin on fire) That's my father's cabin!
Elaine Benes: The cabin's on fire.
George Costanza: I just realized, you never gave me back the change from the tolls.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of fires, here's number six on the countdown.
Number 6: The Fire (Season 5, Episode 18)
Sean: (Narrating) Another hilarious episode from the crazy mind of our favorite writer Larry Charles. This episode pushed the bounds of how people behave in reality. Plus, this is an idea that just popped into Larry Charles' mind, George Costanza panicking at a birthday party and pushing women and children out of the way just to save his own ass. That was dark, yet so damn hilarious. And in this episode, George does that. George is at a birthday party that his girlfriend, played by Melanie Chartoff. You know, the voice of Didi Pickles from Rugrats. She's throwing a birthday party for her son and George starts bickering with a clown named Eric, played by the director of Iron Man and Iron Man 2 (the director that I'm talking about is Jon Favreau), then after he finishes bickering with the guy, George heads into the kitchen after he smells smoke then this happens.
George Costanza: Fire! Get out of here! Get out of my way!
(George pushes everyone in his path down, including a clown and a disabled elderly woman)
Sean: (Narrating) Damn, so much for the "women and children first" rule. Aside from that dark yet hilarious moment, there's a subplot in the episode where Kramer is dating a woman named Toby, played by Veanne Cox, a hyperenthusiastic woman who's a co-worker of Elaine's who she thinks is "deranged". Jerry invites her and Kramer to see his performance at the comedy club since this critic named Leonard Christian is gonna be there. So during Jerry's performance, she ends up heckling him.
Jerry Seinfeld: You boo me?! You hiss?! You didn't stop blathering throughout the whole set!
Toby (Played by Veanne Cox): Oh, come on! I thought you're a pro! That's part of the show.
Jerry Seinfeld: No! Not part of the show! Booing and hissing are not part of the show! You boo puppets! You hiss villains in silent movies.
Sean: (Narrating) Then things get really dark when Jerry goes up to Pendant Publishing to get his revenge on Toby by heckling her, which upsets her and then this happens to her.
(We cut to a scene of the street outside. We hear the sound of tires screeching and Toby screaming out "My pinky toe!" Kramer is heard yelling "Toby!" then we see a shocked expression on his face)
Sean: (Narrating) Then, we get one of the most hilarious highlights of the episode where Kramer tells the story about how he saved Toby's pinky toe and props to Michael Richards, he's such a vivid storyteller and this is one of the best yet hilarious moments because Kramer gets into a fight with a gunman on the bus.
Kramer: The bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
George Costanza: You're Batman.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts choking me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, y'know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know- at the next stop.
Jerry Seinfeld: You kept makin' all the stops?
Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!
Sean: (Narrating) Holy cow, that's comedy gold. It's another classic yet hilarious episode. If you haven't seen it, then go check it out.
Jerry Seinfeld: So you feel "women and children first," in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion.
George Costanza: To some degree.
Jerry Seinfeld: So basically, it's every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves.
George Costanza: In a manner of speaking.
Number 5: The Chinese Restaurant (Season 2, Episode 6)
Sean: (Narrating) Seinfeld's episodes in it's earlier seasons weren't all that good. But there's one good one that happens to be the best episode and a big game changer for the show. And The Chinese Restaurant is definitely a game changer for the show. The episode is about Jerry, Elaine and George waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant. There you go. There's your episode. A whole episode based on waiting for a table and it's very hilarious. We've all been through this kind of thing that they're dealing with on this episode, just waiting for a table and the wait is long. Don't you just hate that? In the episode Jerry, George and Elaine go to a Chinese restaurant before going to see Plan 9 From Outer Space but while waiting for a table, each of them run into some problems: Jerry sees a woman who's name he can't remember and when he remembers her name and realizes that she works in his uncle's office and fears that she might tell him that she saw him because Jerry broke plans with him, George trying to call his girlfriend Tatiana and invite her to join them and Elaine… well, Elaine is just starving. If any episode proves that Seinfeld is a show about nothing, it's this episode. We get some shenanigans like Elaine trying to take food from a group of elderly people eating dinner and George willing to get into a rumble with a guy who's taking a long time with the phone. And they have to deal with an enigmatic maitre'd, played by James Hong. And just like The Parking Space in the show's third season, the gang ends up back where they started. This episode is one of most popular episodes and it was definitely a game changer.
Maitre'd (Played by James Hong): (After Jerry, Elaine and George leave the restaurant): Seinfeld, four!
Number 4: The Invitations (Season 7, Episode 24)
Sean: (Narrating) You all didn't expect me to talk about this episode. Yes, this was the final episode for Larry David, until he comes back as the executive producer and writer for The Finale in the final season. This episode deals with George and Susan's wedding day coming up and George tries to get out of it like he starts smoking, which made him sick. Then there's trying to make her sign a prenuptial agreement and Susan's response is this….
(Susan starts laughing)
George Costanza: What's so funny?
Susan Ross: (Laughs) You don't have any money. I make more money than you do.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from that, Jerry meets a woman named Jeannie, played by Janeane Garofalo, and she's just like him and Jerry ends up proposing to her and after proposing to her, he regrets his proposal. But what came at us really unexpectedly was the death of Susan. We didn't see that one coming. And we get this coldest moment of the show when George and his friends react to the death of his fiancée. What killed Susan? Well, she was licking cheap envelopes that George bought and the glue was toxic. But aside from that, the ending was dark and boy, fans of the show were angered by this but hey, this is sick, twisted and dark humor and it was pretty funny.
Jerry Seinfeld: We had a pact!
Number 3: The Marine Biologist (Season 5, Episode 13)
Sean: (Narrating) Considered to be one of Jerry Seinfeld's favorite episodes, this episode deals with George pretending to be a marine biologist while on a date with a former college classmate named Diane DeConn, played by Rosalind Allen from SeaQuest DSV.
George Costanza: You got me in the Galapagos Islands living with the turtles. I don't know where the hell I am.
Jerry Seinfeld: Well, you came in the other day with all that whale stuff, the squeaking and the squealing.
George Costanza: Look, why couldn't you make me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.
Sean: (Narrating) There are tons of hilarious moments from the episode like Elaine fighting a Russian novelist who throws her electronic organizer out the window and it hits a woman on the head and that woman is played by Carol Kane. And Kramer goes golfing at the beach. And we get George telling the story about how he saved the beached whale.
George Costanza: The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
Sean: (Narrating) But the biggest payoff of this episode would have to be George's closing monologue at the end of the episode.
George Costanza: So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.
(George whips out a golf ball and looks at Kramer. Jerry and Elaine look at Kramer as well)
Kramer: What is that, a Titleist?
(George nods his head)
Kramer: A hole in one, huh?
Number 2: The Pie (Season 5, Episode 15)
Sean: (Narrating) During the show's fifth season, writers Tom Gammill and Max Pross joined the writing staff and they've written some pretty hilarious episodes and this is one of them. In this episode. Although, before I talk about this episode, the cast reading took place on January 13th, 1994, which was Julia Louis-Dreyfus' birthday, filming of this episode did not take place until February due to the 1994 Northridge Earthquake. And don't worry, I won't make an Animaniacs joke. Back to episode, we all like jokes about Jerry's obsession with cleanliness, in this one Jerry is obsessed about why his girlfriend Audrey, played by Suzanne Snyder who you might recognize her as the cute female Nazi Ava back in the third season episode The Limo. He's obsessed about why she won't eat the apple pie at Monk's. I mean come on, she likes pie, she wasn't full and yet she carries around donuts in her purse. So, why does she just refuse to taste the pie? The pie incident was based on something that happened in Jerry Seinfeld's life. This episode marks the first appearance of the character Poppie, played by Reni Santoni. Poppy is the owner of a restaurant called Poppie's and he's Audrey's father. And this little incident is based on something that writer Tom Gammill witnessed.
Poppie (Played by Reni Santoni): (After coming out of the stall) Ah, Jerry! Tonight you're in for a real treat. I'm personally gonna prepare the dinner for you and my Audrey.
(Poppie leaves the restroom without washing his hands. Jerry notices that Poppie didn't wash his hands)
Jerry Seinfeld: You know, a chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help. He wants to get caught.
George Costanza: Well, I think Poppie's got some problems. There's a whole other thing going on with Poppie.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from that silly and gross A-plot. We get two more plots of the episode. One involving a creepy mannequin that looks like Elaine and George getting a new suit for a job interview and the other plot involves Kramer's back itching and he dates a woman who can scratch his back, which makes things even more zanier in the episode. A classic episode from the two guys who will be working on The Simpsons for future seasons, this is one episode that you should give it a watch.
Audrey (Played by Suzanne Snyder): What do they want from Poppie?
Jerry Seinfeld: Well, Poppie's a little sloppy.
"Now, before I reveal the number 1 episode of the countdown, here are a few runners up." Sean said.
Runners Up
The Puffy Shirt (Season 5)
The Race (Season 6)
The Finale (Season 9)
The Cheever Letters (Season 4)
The Yada Yada (Season 8)
The Pothole (Season 8) (Note: Newman singing Lionel Ritchie and screaming while his mail truck is on fire is hilarious.)
The Cadillac Parts 1 & 2 (Season 7)
The Stakeout (Season 1)
The Opposite (Season 5)
The Betrayal (Season 9)
Sean: (V/O) And the number 1 Seinfeld episode is…
Number 1: The Contest (Season 4, Episode 11)
George Costanza: My mother caught me.
Jerry Seinfeld: Caught you? Doing what?
George Costanza: You know. I was alone…
(Elaine makes a face of surprise)
Elaine Benes: You mean…?
George Costanza: (Nods) Uh-huh.
Sean: (Narrating) For those of you who are fans of the show like me, we all have to say that the best episode ever would have to be The Contest. It's an episode entirely about masturbation. It's a shocking thing to be doing on NBC back in 1992. It starts off when George tells Jerry, Elaine and Kramer got caught by his mother doing… that.
George Costanza: I stopped by the house to drop the car off and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine. I started leafing through it.
Jerry Seinfeld: Glamour?
"Okay. Look here. Gingerspyce's Halloween- the Devil Cums Cream on 12 Inches, Brazzers' Pool Humping with Monique Alexander and Elsa Jean, All Girl Massage's Health Club with Lexi Belle and Lena Nicole and Girlway's The Pick-Up Artist with Abigail Mac and Alina Lopez. Hell, especially either a dirty fanfic for Alexa & Katie involving Alexa and Katie, an American Housewife fanfic involving Taylor Otto and Pierce, a Riverdale fanfic with Betty & Veronica and an I am Frankie dirty fanfic involving Frankie, Cole and Simone. I can see someone jerking to them. But a Glamour magazine? Who does that? Get with the times, Costanza. That is why the Internet was invented." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Long story short, the four of them make a bet to see who could go the longest without self-gratification. With problems like Jerry dating a virgin who's played by Jane Leeves, Elaine seeing John F. Kennedy Jr. in her aerobics class, George seeing a hot nurse giving a female patient a sponge bath and a naked woman running wild, there's no way that somebody will be able to do that.
(Kramer slaps a wad of bills onto the counter)
Kramer: I'm out!
Sean: (Narrating) Well, that didn't last long. This episode also marks the first appearance of Estelle Costanza played hilariously by Estelle Harris.
Estelle Costanza (Played by Estelle Harris): I go out for a quart of milk, I come home and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park.
Sean: (Narrating) It was crude, controversial and it's hilarious. Plus, they avoided saying the "M" word. Now, I won't spoil the episode for those of you who haven't seen it. Besides, the winner isn't revealed until season nine. This Emmy Award-winning episode that is very well-written by Larry David just proves that Seinfeld is still master of it's domain.
George Costanza: I am king of the county.
Jerry Seinfeld: Lord of the manor.
Elaine Benes: I'm queen of the castle.
"And that is all for my Top 11 Best Seinfeld Episodes. If you have any episodes of Seinfeld that are your favorites, feel free leave a comment. Until then, I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic. See you guys next time when I start Sequelitis Month. God, kill me." Sean said, with a smile on his face.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Serenity now!
And that's all for The Mayhem Critic's top 11 countdown on Seinfeld. I hope that you like my list of my favorite Seinfeld episodes. If you have any episodes that you like, feel free to tell me. Next time, Sequelitis Month begins when Sean reviews the first film of Sequelitis Month, RoboCop 2. Let's see how Sean deals with the sequel to the most awesome Sci-Fi action movie. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, if you want to do a co-review with any of the sequels for Sequelitis Month, feel free to PM if you're interested. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.