"Daddy!" Lenny was brought to consciousness by the feeling of a heavy weight landing hard directly on his chest, his eyes flew open and the air left his lungs. It wasn't his favorite way to wake up in the world but when he woke enough to realize what had landed on him he decided it wasn't a terrible way either.
"Morning, Kit. Christ, what time is it?"
"Almost ten, grandma says you gotta get your lazy butt up now or you're not getting any breakfast!"
"Well we wouldn't want that, now would we?"
"No, I helped make it, I added a special ingredient just for you."
Lenny smiled and kissed the top of Kitty's head before lifting her off of him so he could sit up. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what Kitty's special ingredient was, she'd been experimenting since he got here a few days ago and there'd been some doozies. "Can't wait. Alright, head out there with grandma, I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay, is today the day I get to meet Midge?"
"I don't know, Sweets. She comes in today but she's working, we'll have to see how busy she is."
Kitty frowned in a way that always made her look like a miniature female version of himself, that realization both made his heart swell and terrified him at the same time. He didn't want his kid to have to deal with the crap he'd been through, and he wasn't thinking about stuff like going to fight in the war, he meant shit you'd see a therapist about, and he knew that stuff was passed down. He just hoped she got only the good parts of him. "Alright Daddy, but you'll tell her that I really want to meet her?"
"Of course."
"Okay!" Her smile was back on her face as she ran out of the room to let him dress and get ready for the day. He knew Midge was getting into town about now, he offered to pick her up but she was in the big leagues now and had people to do that stuff for her. She had his number and was going to call him when she had settled in.
He stood up, walked over to the closet, and picked out his freshly washed and pressed suit that he planned to wear today. He wanted to look his best when he met up with Midge and more importantly, he was going to tell Kitty about the fact that he got married and she had a new stepmother, and that hopefully, soon enough, she'd be coming and living with them together. No, it'd probably be best not to bring up that last part just yet. Not until he got things more settled and had an actual place for her to lay her head at night. He'd already disappointed her way too many times in her short life, he wasn't going to do it anymore.
"Lenny, what's taking you so long?!"
"I'm coming, Ma!" Lenny didn't live with his mother too consistently while he was growing up, she was trying to make it as a comedian and traveling around taking any work she could get while she left him with different family members. But mornings like this always reminded him of the times they were together, as old as he was, he still couldn't quite figure out if they were memories he looked back on fondly or not. She wasn't a bad mom, per se, but not very present and much more focused on herself than him. One thing he knew about his mom from a young age was that she wanted nothing more than to be famous. She resented him because she had him so young and he always knew in the back of her mind that she blamed him for her not making it in the business.
Then came the time that Lenny started making a name for himself, his mom glommed onto him and made sure to let everyone know that she was Lenny Bruce's mom. Even after he started getting arrested, and started leaning heavier on the drugs to keep going, to stay in character, to keep the energy and always be 'on', she urged him to continue. She never cared what it was doing to him, she only cared about the fame and notoriety he, and by extension her got. He realized he resented her a little bit too now.
He shook his head, none of that mattered, the only one to blame for the position he was in was himself, and no matter how shitty a mother Sally Marr was to him, she was a great grandmother to Kitty and really, that was all he cared about now anyway. Though he knew she was going to pop her top when Lenny told her he got married. A little bitterly he thought that she was going to be less upset that he got married without telling her or inviting her and more upset that it might affect how he looks in the spotlight, and how that'd affect his fame.
He still felt a little insane when he thought of the word 'fame' in connection to him, he didn't want to be famous, he just wanted to go on stage and tell jokes for a living. He didn't like the notoriety that came with making a name for yourself as a comic. Nowadays, he never knew if people liked him because they actually liked him or because of what he could do for them. After being spotted out on the town with him, their names were in the papers, or the possibility of rubbing elbows with the big leagues. He sighed and with one last flick of the comb through his hair and one last look in the mirror he decided he was ready to go so he lit a cigarette before making his way out of the room.
"Daddy, Daddy, sit here, next to me!"
"Sure thing, Kit. Okay, let's see here, what's this special ingredient I've heard so much about?" He was surprised when he saw what looked like jam on top of his eggs. He held in a sigh along with a cringe and smiled at her as he used his fork to grab some and took a bite. "Oh, delicious."
His ma covered her laugh by taking a sip of coffee and as payback, he quirked a brow at her and pushed his plate to her, "You wanna try, ma? You know how amazing Kitty's concoctions are, you wouldn't wanna miss out."
"Oh no thanks, Sonny, that's all for you, I ate my breakfast hours ago, this is just for you late risers."
He held back the urge to roll his eyes, "I didn't get in till almost four this morning."
He had a late-night blue set that lasted till one then hung around and had a few drinks with some fellas he only got to see when he was in town so the sky was brightening by the time he made his way through the front door.
"Yeah? Get up to anything fun?"
"Not really," he said ending that conversation promptly, and turning his attention to his daughter, "Hey, wanna go to the park after we cleaned up?"
She smiled brightly, she didn't really care what she was doing as long as she was hanging out with her dad, the park was just a bonus. "Yes! Can I be excused?"
"Sure," he said rubbing the top of her head, she giggled before running off to get ready.
"What's this?"
"What?"
"Something's different about you this trip. You seem more clear-headed, maybe even happy."
"Yeah, well, things have been looking up for me recently."
"Does it have anything to do with this 'Midge' I keep hearing Kitty ask you about?"
"Something like that."
"Just don't let yourself lose focus of what's important, your career. You got some steam and momentum, Lenny, you don't want to lose it."
He scoffed, "Oh bull shit, I've been blacklisted almost everywhere from here to New York." He took out his cigarettes and lit one, more to himself he continued, "Momentum my tuchus."
"Lenny, I'm telling you, people look up to you, they'd fight for you because you fight for free speech. If you take the right steps and find the right people to guide you, you could be the biggest name out there."
He stood up and started to walk away, he'd heard this all before from her and wasn't about to go through it again. After a few steps, he stopped and walked back over to her, bent down, and spoke low enough that he knew Kitty wouldn't be able to hear. "That's not what's important to me right now, Ma. I'm getting my shit together in other ways, I'm keeping my nose clean and in a few months, I'm planning on taking Kitty back to New York with me. I'll finally be in a position to raise her right, that's what I'm focusing on right now."
"What are you talking about? With how things are right now I'd either have to move with you or you'd have to quit comedy altogether. Who's gonna watch her if you get dragged off stage and thrown in a cell for the night?"
"I'm not expecting you to move, Ma, I know you don't wanna be back in New York. It's fine, I won't be alone, I got my wife, her two little ones, and her family if need be."
"Your wif—"
Lenny cut her off with a "Shh!" When he heard Kitty run down the hall. "We'll finish this later, ma. Kitty and I will be back in an hour or two. If anyone calls for me make sure you get a number where I can call them back."
Sally Marr very much wanted to push the issue and get the information she wanted now. It wasn't fair for her son to drop a bomb like that and then leave but she also didn't want to upset Kitty or break the news to her before she even knew what the news was, so reluctantly she nodded.
Lenny and Kitty were walking down the street to the playground a block away hand in hand. Kitty was talking a mile a minute, pointing out different spots and the memories she had there, or houses where her friends lived. Though after a few minutes, Lenny was surprised when she became quiet and there was a serious look on her face, he didn't think a five-year-old should ever have to look like that and it made him feel like shit, he wasn't positive how, but he knew that it had to be his fault his little girl had such faces in her arsenal. "What is it, Kit?"
"Why were you and Grandma fighting? Are you leaving early again?"
He cringed, yeah, there had been a time or two he had to dip out early, most of the time it was for good reasons but he couldn't lie, sometimes he was jonesing and needed to get out of there. "No, Sweets, I'm here for a few more days, just like I promised."
She smiled before looking confused, "Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. It's just…" He paused and looked around, this was definitely a conversation they should have while sitting, he led them to the bench at the park entrance and sat down, Kitty following his lead, "You know how my friend Midge is coming and I'm going to introduce you?"
"Yeah…"
"Well Kit, she's more than just my friend. I got two special ladies in the world, you," He emphasized that by poking her nose and making her giggle, "And Midge."
"Do you love her like you love me?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Sometimes."
Her answer surprised a laugh out of him, "Right, well you're just going to have to try hard this time because it's an important secret." He continued at her serious nod, "Yes, I love Midge."
Kitty was confused and her scrunched-up face showed it, "Why is that a secret?"
"Because I haven't even told her that yet, you're the first person I told. Plus that wasn't my only secret." He leaned a little bit and lifted his hand between them moving his finger in a 'come closer' motion so Kitty leaned in, "Closer," he repeated the action one more time until Kitty didn't have a choice but to turn her head so that he could whisper in her ear. "Midge and I got married last week."
Lenny had never regretted something so quickly after doing it but the loud high-pitched squeak that came out of Kitty's mouth, which he was sure he'd be hearing nonstop for the next week made him regret being so close to her when she heard the news. She turned to face him quickly and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, "Really, Daddy?"
"Yeah, Kit." He was happy that she seemed so happy for him but wasn't sure why she was quite so excited, her next words cleared up his confusion real quick like.
"Does that mean that she'll be my new mommy? Will you have babies? Will I have brothers and sisters?"
Lenny's mouth opened to reply but instead a weird croaking sound came out. He had no idea what to say. To buy him some time he eventually answered, "Kit, you have a mom already, remember?"
"Who, Honey?" She said with more bitterness than Lenny was prepared for. "She's not a real mommy, she just calls whenever she feels like it and sends me birthday presents very late, which are usually toys you and grandma already bought me!"
Lenny held back a sigh, he knew Honey loved Kitty, loved her a lot, in fact. But after the divorce, she ran from every responsibility she could, which meant leaving the biggest one either of them had in his hands. She had her fair share of vices too, some of them worse than even Lenny got into but that didn't mean she was a bad mom, she just needed time to get her head on straight and her shit together, at least that was what Lenny kept telling himself. He hoped that someday she'd come back and want to be the mom Kitty deserved but by the sound of things, Kitty wasn't prepared to wait and was in fact actively looking for someone to fill the void. Lenny couldn't say he blamed her.
He sighed and looked off into the sky, he wished he spent more time preparing for questions like this, he thought it'd be as simple as telling Kitty he was married and her being happy. He spent most of his time preparing for the questions about when she'd be able to come live with them. "Well Kit, I'm not sure. I've never been in this situation either, dig? What I can tell you is she's just as excited to meet you as you are to meet her, and she already considers you part of her family. Though if it helps I do know she has two little munchkins of her own, a boy and a girl so I suppose you already have a step sister and a step-brother."
"Really?" He smiled at the excitement in her voice.
"Would I lie to you about something so important?"
"No Daddy."
"That's right, now go play, I'll be right here."
"Okay!" She said with one more quick hug before running off.
Lenny sat and watched her with a smile on his face. He dreaded the day his little girl looked at him with anything less than the all-consuming admiration, trust, and love she looked at him with now. He knew one day she'd be old enough to know that he wasn't perfect, but he'd rather keep that date away as long as possible. Staying away from the dope was the first step, there was no need for her to ever see him like that again.
He sighed, he had to make sure to let Midge know the kind of questions Kitty was asking, he didn't want her to be blindsided by Kitty asking to call her mommy a few minutes after the two finally met. Still, though, he couldn't stop the smirk from coming over his face, though he was able to cover it by taking a drag of his smoke, these types of troubles and worries were the type he could deal with day in and day out, troubles worth having.
Kitty ran through the front door before Lenny, much faster and limber than he was nowadays. When he passed the threshold he heard the phone ringing and that put a pep in his step as he went for the phone. When he turned the corner into the kitchen he saw Kitty pick up the phone before he had the chance to stop her.
"Hello?" Lenny couldn't hear the other side of the phone but he assumed whoever it was, was greeting her. "Hi, yes this is Kitty, who may I ask is calling."
"Christ Kit, I told you not to give out your name on the phone!"
"Yes, that's my Daddy you heard," She said ignoring her father making him roll his eyes and start walking closer. "I can't wait to meet you either! When can you come over?"
He hoped to God she was talking to Midge and not some random weirdo off the street, and not just because he'd been waiting for this phone call since the moment he opened his eyes. Christ he felt like a love sick sap. "Okay,… okay,…Mhmm," She said while nodding her head so frantically Lenny was worried it was gonna fall off. That picture in his head made him think of four new jokes, none of which he'd ever tell since he doesn't talk about his kid on stage. It was a shame because they were fucking funny. "Okay! Here's daddy, see you soon, Midge!"
The smile on his face because of his jokes grew into something bigger and genuine when Kitty said Midge's name. He took the phone from her with a 'Thanks Kit' and rubbed the top of her head before patting her back making sure she knew he needed some privacy. He waited until Kitty scampered out of the room and didn't say anything until he heard her bedroom door shut.
"Well, hello there, darling wife."
"Hey Lenny," Midge said lowly, he could hear the smile in her words.
"Make it to town okay?"
"Yeah, just finished unpacking, this room is even bigger and more ostentatious than the Vegas one. Susie is having a field day taking advantage of all the amenities. After an hour of exploring she laid down on her bed to test it out and said it was softer than a babies ass, whatever that means, she doesn't seem the type to be around babies much at all, you should have seen her first interaction with Eithan a kid, much less their asses. Anyway she passed out about thirty seconds after her head hit the pillow."
"Oh wow, is she the woodchipper I'm hearing in the background?"
"Oh yeah."
"Is she okay?" He asked genuinely worried, he was almost positive humans were not supposed to sound like that ever.
She laughed, "Yeah, she's like this every night," Midge said and then they were both quiet on the line for a few moments. Quieter, almost shyly, she said, "I missed you."
"Oh, yeah?" He said, sounding pretty proud of himself, even to his own ears.
"Yeah but don't you go getting a big head about it. I had just gotten spoiled over the week with all the good sex I could want."
"I think I remember you calling it much more than good, Midge. In fact, I think I remember hearing something along the lines of," He changed his voice to a higher pitch in an attempt to imitate Midge, "The best sex of my fucking life."
She laughed, "Yeah, well, I was just…"
He cut her off, "Missed you too, sweetheart."
"Good, you better have."
"So, when do you think you'll have time to sneak away from all your adoring fans and see your husband?"
"Oh, I don't know," She started, trying to sound aloof, "I might be able to make some time for you tonight. It's just soundchecks tonight, which are really for the band and Shy. For me it only takes a few minutes, then I'm free for the rest of the night."
"Alright, I got a show tonight at Ciro's at ten, do you think you can make it?"
"I'll be there."
"Good." Lenny opened his mouth without thinking and started to say 'I love you' but thankfully caught himself in time. "I l— I'll see you then."
"Okay, goodbye husband."
He smiled one of his crooked smiles, "Bye, my wife."
Even though working the comedy circuit was a nighttime gig, more times than not the shmoozing and things of that nature caused Lenny to have to be out of the house early in the evening, sometimes before supper time. When he was in LA with Kitty though, he always made sure to stay with her until bedtime to tuck her in before leaving for the evening, tonight was no different even if he was eager to see Midge. He thought he was insane for missing someone so much, especially someone he only saw a few days ago, someone that before last week he had only seen when they happened to be in the same place at the same time.
Lenny kissed Kitty's forehead and stood up after telling her goodnight. He was almost out of the door when her words stopped him, "Daddy, do you think my new mommy will like me?"
He was so surprised by her question that he didn't even have time to worry about the fact that she was already calling Midge mom before he had a chance to talk to her about it. He walked back over to Kitty's bed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. "Of course she will, Kitty. What on earth would make you think otherwise?"
"I already had one mommy leave me. I don't know what I did wrong but I promise I won't do it again. " She whispered, partly because she was half asleep and partly because it was secretly one of her deep-seated fears.
"Baby, none of that was your fault, not when your mom left, and not when I have to go away from time to time. We both love you, kid, it's just, your mom got some stuff she has to work through by herself before she can be the mom you need."
Lenny wasn't sure if Kitty believed him, normally he considered himself good at reading a person, knowing what they're feeling just by looking at them, especially his kid but right now he wasn't sure. He couldn't tell if it was only because she was half asleep or if it was because she was getting better at hiding her emotions like she'd see him do. He hoped to the God he didn't believe in that it wasn't the second. He hoped he wasn't lying when he said, "Get some sleep kid, you'll feel better in the morning."
His thoughts were preoccupied with his daughter as he was walking down the street to tonight's venue. That was the only reason he could justify to himself that he almost walked right past Midge on the street about a block away from where he was supposed to do his set.
"Uhm, hello?" Midge made sure to sound as offended as she felt. She couldn't believe it, it was as if he looked right through her, and after she spent so much time getting ready and fretting over what to wear.
Lenny froze for a moment before turning to look at her, his signature smirk slowly coming over his face. He walked closer and wrapped her in his arms, thankful that she didn't try to pull away. He grabbed her chin with his fingers and turned it to the perfect angle to kiss her. It was a long one, sensual, hot, even though there was no tongue involved Midge felt herself shiver in anticipation of what was to come later tonight. Midge followed his lips with hers for a few inches as he pulled back. She was glad to see that the worried look he had on his face was replaced with a small smile meant only for her. "Hey there."
"Hello yourself. Did you find the place okay?"
"Yeah, and I think you might have downplayed how popular this place is, I swear I think I saw Elizabeth Taylor and Cary Grant just walk in."
Lenny shrugged while hiding a smirk behind another drag of his cigarette. "It's alright. Though if you're looking to get into the business we call show, TV and whatnot, you could probably make some contacts here tonight."
Midge just smiled, she didn't have to worry about that, Susie was coming here tonight too, so she'd get a chance to see Lenny, though she'd never admit that was why. So Midge was sure if there was a contact here for her to gain tonight, Susie would get it. So she turned her mind to other things, more important things at the moment. "So, you looked pretty deep in thought there walking down the street."
Midge's head was turned toward Lenny as they were walking down the street toward the entrance so she noticed when he struggled in reply. She wasn't sure what he meant by that and debated whether she should push some more. She was starting to learn how to handle Lenny, sometimes when something came up that he didn't want to talk about he'd shut up and close down. That was why she was pleasantly surprised when his shoulders slumped losing their tension and he sighed.
"Just something Kitty asked me when I was getting her ready for bed."
"What was that?"
He opened his mouth before shaking his head and rethinking his words, "She's worried that you won't like her."
Midge grabbed his arm and stopped walking, making him do the same and turning him so that they were facing each other. "What? Why would she ever think that? That sounds insane to me."
He smirked again, albeit half-heartedly. "I said the same thing to her, kids can have some wild imaginations, right? No, it's a little deeper than just having her dad's friend not like her though. When I got divorced I remember specifically in the paperwork that cost me a leg and an arm that Honey and I'd be separate from each other, free, never having to see each other again if we didn't want to. What I don't remember in that fine print was where it said she got to divorce her kid too. I knew she'd probably disappear for a while, go be wild, travel but I didn't think she'd leave Kitty completely."
"Oh, Lenny…"
He shook his head, cutting her off, not looking for her sympathy. "I mean I thought it was working fine, well, no, not fine but I thought we were making due. Kitty had Ma for all that female stuff, and then she had me for being her dad but I guess I was just fooling myself."
"Why do you think that?"
"I told her we were married today and the first thing she asked was if that meant she had a new mom. Then when I told her she still had a mom she went on this while shtick telling me otherwise. Then come to find out she blames herself for her mother leaving and is worried that whatever she did to make Honey leave would make you not like her. Way too fucking dark of thoughts for a five-year-old to have, then again she is mine so now that I think about it, she's right on schedule."
Midge wanted to help him, she really did but most of her brain was stuck on Kitty wanting her to be her mother. She knew she'd be raising her in some capacity, theoretically anyway, but this seemed so much more real. It was a huge responsibility, from the sounds of things Kitty had already been through a lot in her short life. It was intimidating and a little scary but it also felt… right? Midge couldn't explain it but after listening to Lenny's words something inside her just clicked and she knew what the right thing to do was. It was probably the same thing inside her that let her know staying married was the best choice. For a moment she could see the next forty, hell, fifty years of her life laid out plain as day and it seemed perfect. There'd be trouble and problems, sure, but nothing good came easy and she knew this was good, more than good actually.
Her hand was still holding onto Lenny so she made her grip tighter to get his attention and eye contact. Lenny was surprised, he wasn't expecting the look on her face, it was intense, serious, but above all, it was sure, as if there wasn't a doubt in her mind about what she was about to say. Somehow that look alone made his worries go away a little bit, she had a plan and for the first time, it felt like a partnership, like he wasn't in this alone anymore.
"Don't worry, Lenny, it's fine. She won't have to worry about that anymore, I'm here now. Of course, I'll love her, and if you're okay with it, she can call me Mom if she wants to. I'm not going anywhere. That's the thing with second marriages, you don't just marry the person you marry the kids too."
Lenny turned his head away slightly but still kept his eyes on her, he didn't like feeling vulnerable at all, much less in front of someone but her words helped with worries he didn't even acknowledge yet. He took another drag of his cigarette before turning his head back to her and in his more collected cool tone he asked, "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He smiled a small smile at her before leaning down more than he already was and kissed her. Midge let herself get lost for a while before the niggling that was always there in the back of her mind made her pull away. She rummaged through her purse until she found her pen and joke book and wrote down her thoughts.
"Ah, so it's my terrible kissing technique that is going to be the first thing about me that makes it into your set."
She laughed, "Oh please, you know damn well you don't need any lessons in that area. Tell me, which one is funnier, 'That's the thing about second marriages...you don't just get a spouse, you get an entire ensemble cast. It's like joining a sitcom mid-season – you're trying to catch up on all the backstories and hoping you don't end up the punchline.'" She paused when he laughed, she looked up at him smiling too. It always meant more to her when Lenny laughed at her jokes than anyone else.
"And the other?" He said making a go-on motion with his hand.
She nodded and looked down at her book, "Or, 'That's the thing about second marriages... you're not just marrying a spouse, you're signing up for an entire supporting cast. It's like jumping into a TV show halfway through the season – you're scrambling to understand all the plot twists and praying you don't become the running gag."
He laughed at that one too, before looking up into the sky and thinking for a moment, "I'd change 'running gag' with 'punch line' and go with the second."
Midge nodded and closed her book, she was just about to suggest getting inside when a taxi pulled up next to them and Susie got out of it. She threw the butt of her smoked cigarette on the ground before acknowledging either of them. "What the fuck Midge, we were supposed to come together?"
"Susie, I told you I was leaving but you were too focused on doing your betting with Reggie and the guys."
"Yeah, but I said I'd be done in ten minutes!"
"I waited thirty before I left."
"No fucking way!"
"Yes fucking way."
"Huh. Well, okay then." Susie turned to look at Lenny, she still wasn't sure how to talk to him, she was a fan, had been for a long time but they'd also worked together to help Midge in the past, and now, of all fucking things, he was Midge's new husband, so she had a feeling they'd be seeing a lot more of each other. Susie nodded at him, "Mr. Bruce."
Lenny covered his smirk with a drag of his cigarette and nodded his head, "Susie."
Midge checked her wristwatch and saw that it was only five minutes until ten, "Lenny, aren't you on at ten?"
"Mhmm,"
"You're about to be late," She said while showing him the face of her watch.
"Shit," He said quickly throwing his cigarette on the ground and stomping it out as he started walking again, the women following after, "Don't want to piss them off anymore, they weren't too happy with my set last time I was in LA, barely made it ten minutes before getting pulled off stage."
He opened the door and held it open for them, Midge smiled in thanks while Susie scoffed at the gentlemanly action, causing Lenny to chuckle. This time Lenny made it through his entire set without being pulled off stage and went with Midge back to her hotel room for the night.