Hey, so I know this is a super small fandom, but if anyone is reading this please leave a comment, i haven't gotten any interaction at all with this story on this site, so if no one is reading it, I'll just post it only on AO3 where there are people reading it. I'm not normally one to beg for comments, just someone lmk that there's a point in posting this story here so know i'm not wasting my time :) On to the new chapter:

Midge sat down in her new hotel room, thankfully this time she had a room to herself. They were in Miami now and it'd been interesting, to say the least. In the last few days, she'd convinced Susie to take a picture of her when she walked down the stairs to nowhere, learned that somehow Susie had a law degree and that her manager was a grown woman who didn't know how to swim. She thought she was starting to get used to life on the road, even with its surprises. She and Susie had moving into a new hotel down pat at this point. After a lot of trial and error, they've learned the best floor and room (though the room number varies per hotel) to request. What to avoid, what to look for, and how to get what they needed while learning the lay of the land. Don't get her wrong, it wasn't her favorite thing to do in the world but it was worth it if it brought her closer to her goals. Plus, this tour was much better than the one she went on before with Susie, the one where Susie ended up with that gross infection on her face, Midge still had nightmares about that sometimes.

She wasn't really a fan of leaving everyone she cared about behind other than Susie. She knew this wasn't a permanent thing but she missed her kids, she missed her friends, and although calling him that still felt a little surreal to her, she missed her husband. He had to be back in New York by now, he left Los Angeles the same day she did and he told her he was going home.

It was a good few days in Los Angeles, her sets went great, she had a lot of fun with Lenny and Kitty, and it seemed that Kitty really liked her, She had a feeling his daughter would fit in well with her kids, that blending their families together would work out well after a little bit of an adjustment period. Then again, she knew at times she could be too optimistic when it involved something she really wanted so she hoped she wasn't just fooling herself. She couldn't help but think back on that first day she met Kitty.

"Jesus fucking Christ Midge, sit your ass down and stop pacing, you're making me dizzy! There is no reason to be so nervous, I've never seen you so out of sorts, which is saying a fucking lot because I've seen some doozies when it comes to your mental state." Susie bitched.

Midge knew she was right, at least partly, there was absolutely no use for her to be pacing, she was just wasting time. What she really had to do was leave. Because there absolutely was a reason for her to be so nervous, she was meeting her new daughter today and she wanted it to go well. The nightmares she had about the meeting the night before probably weren't helping her out much either. She was still lost in her own mind when she replied to Susie, "You're right, sorry. I'll be back later."

Midge grabbed her purse off the coat rack in their room and went for the door, as it was closing behind her she heard Susie sigh in exasperation but it was easily ignored. She checked her wristwatch while she was in the elevator and realized she was going to be pretty early but she didn't care, it'd give her time to pick out the perfect bench, one close to the playground and was shaded, maybe a bathroom nearby. It'd also give her time to think through what she was going to say to the little girl too, thanks to Lenny, she knew Kitty wanted her to be her mom, and although she really enjoyed that thought, she also had to make sure Kitty knew that she has her other mom too, and Midge would never stand in the way of their relationship.

She kept going back and forth in her head if that was too deep a thing to talk about on a first meeting, especially considering the girl was only five. She couldn't decide which was the best way to go about it and Lenny was no help, she had a feeling he didn't want to pressure her one way or the other, he wanted everything to be her decision. And all though she appreciated that, she also wanted to smack the side of his head with a sarcastic 'thanks for the help, asshole.' At least she had almost an hour to finally come to a decision before the meeting time.

That last thought was why she was confused when she walked into the park and saw Lenny already sitting on a bench, the same bench she'd have picked she decided after a moment of looking around. He was alternating between watching a group of kids play on the playground, she knew one of them had to be Kitty, and reading a book that she wasn't close enough to read the title. It only took her a few more moments to pick Kitty out of the crowd, she was the younger female version of a spitting image of Lenny, and she didn't bother to try to stop the smile that came over her face.

She walked over to the bench and sat next to him without saying anything. He ignored her for a while, not paying the random person who sat with him any mind, focusing on his book. He knew it was much too early for it to be Midge. It wasn't until she cleared her throat a few moments later that he looked up from his book and when he realized who it was, he smiled.

"Midge, Christ, what time is it? You're early."

He leaned in while cupping her cheek with his hand and kissed her hello, "Yeah well, I might have been a little nervous while getting ready today."

"Nervous? Why? You were fine when I left this morning."

She laughed, "That's because I was too focused on other, more pleasurable feelings. You were doing a great job at keeping me distracted." She said in a suggestive voice that brought him right back to how he spent the morning and last night distracting her, he felt his cock twitch and harden at the memories. He quickly pushed those thoughts away, this was most definitely not the time to be reminiscing about that.

"I'm surprised she hasn't run over here yet, she's been talking about meeting you nonstop. You're not alone in being nervous either, poor chick has been both worried and excited in equal measure. I've been doing everything I can to make Kit comfortable and put her at ease but nothing I say will calm her down either." Lenny was getting more comfortable talking with Midge about things like emotions and problems he was having, especially when it came to Kitty, she was much easier to talk about compared to himself. It was still a work in progress for him but he was getting there. He liked to think so anyway.

Midge didn't like hearing that the little girl was worried and panicking over her, not one bit. Though she wasn't quite sure how to make it better, well, other than doing everything she could to make her comfortable and put her at ease when they finally did meet. In fact, she decided the wait was over, the sooner they could get past this and more comfortable with each other the better. "Well, what are we waiting for? Call her over."

Lenny didn't bother to try to stop the small smile before he leaned in and kissed her again. He kept it chaste, his kid was a few feet away after all, when he pulled back he nodded his head. It seemed calling her over wasn't necessary though because Kitty must have seen them and came running. "Daddy, daddy, is this her?"

"Yeah Kit, this is Midge. Midge, this is Kitty, Kitty, this is Midge, my wife." Lenny sounded a little unsure at the last part of the introduction which Midge understood. This was the first time either of them had introduced the other as their spouse.

Midge smiled widely and held her hand out to Kitty. "Hi Kitty, it's so nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

Midge was a little shocked when instead of taking her hand to shake, Kitty lunged forward and wrapped her arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. It only took her a second to adjust and hug her back. "Hi! My daddy talks about you a lot, I've been so excited to meet you!" She leaned in even closer so that she could whisper in Midge's ear, "He loves you a lot."

Midge's eyes opened wide, surprised. Though it was only a moment later when she cleared her face, that was just kid talk, it wasn't as if Lenny ever told her he loved her or anything. She rubbed Kitty's back twice before pulling back and smiling at her again. "I've been very excited to meet you too."

"Is it true? Do I have a brother and sister now?"

Midge again felt shocked for a moment before pulling herself together. It wasn't as if Lenny didn't already warn her about all of this but it was still a little startling to hear it coming from the little girl. Midge supposed she thought it'd take more work to get the kids to want to be a family with each other, so it wasn't a bad surprise but she was still caught off guard.

"I have two little ones too, you're five, right?"

"Yup!"

"Well, then you're right in the middle, Ethan is six and Ester is three."

"Oh, neat I always wanted siblings! Are we all going to live together?"

"Kit, we talked about this, you gotta stay with grandma for a little while longer. And since when have you always wanted siblings? Earlier this week was the first I heard of it."

"I know. I just want to live with you already, Daddy. I miss you when you're off working."

Midge saw the almost nonexistent flinch at Kitty's words so she reached over and rested her hand on his lap. It was only a second later when he placed his on top of hers and squeezed it once in thanks.

"I know that sweets, but I don't have a house for you to move into, let alone a bedroom. Midge is off working for the next few months too, and anyway, you gotta finish the rest of the school year out here." He mumbled in a voice so quiet Midge was sure Kitty didn't catch he continued, "With the amount of money I gave those fuckers there's no way you're not going there until the very last second."

Midge laughed but decided to try to help, "Yeah, your Dad is right, Kitty. I'll be traveling a lot for the next few months. My kids are actually moving between their grandparent's houses and their dad's. But it's okay, as soon as I'm back from tour we're going to get us a house as soon as possible."

"Oh, okay," Kitty said, sounding dejected. She pepped up quickly though and in a dreamy voice she asked, "You're on tour with Shy Baldwin, right?"

Lenny's back straightened as he looked at Kitty with a surprised and worried look on his face. He was panicking that it sounded as if she already had a crush on Shy and she was just entirely too young for that. He saw his whole life flashing before his eyes and kept thinking his daughter was growing up too fast. He was nowhere near ready to deal with his daughter liking boys. Midge noticed and didn't have to ask him what was wrong, she saw the same look on her father's face the first time she brought a boy up in conversation with him so she decided to answer her question before Lenny could say something dumb.

"Yes, I do tour with Shy, I introduced your father to him when we were in Las Vegas."

"Wow, you must be very famous."

Midge laughed surprised. She thought it was hilarious that Lenny Bruce's daughter of all people was more impressed by Midge's mediocre fame than her dad's. "No, not yet. Nowhere near as popular as your dad anyway. You don't want to know how many conversations I've had with him that were interrupted by someone asking for his autograph."

Kitty waved her hand towards her dad, as if to wave him off as inconsequential, "Yeah but Daddy's not cool like you."

Lenny scoffed as he lit a cigarette and took a drag before offering it to Midge, "Thanks, Kit."

Midge took the offering and saw him light another one for himself. Kitty looked over to her dad, "But it's true! No one in my class even knows who you are…"

"Thank God for small favors." He said making Midge laugh.

"…but everyone knows who Shy Baldwin is! And if Midge is friends with him traveling around the world, she has to be famous and cool too!"

"You're spending too much time with your grandmother, you're starting to sound like her."

"She says the same thing to me about you, except she just says I'm turning into you."

"Alright, alright. Enough talk of Ma. Are either of my two favorite ladies hungry?"

"I am, I am!" Kitty said as she jumped up and started to walk to her favorite burger joint, the two adults looked at each other before getting up and following her.

After pizza, the group of three had just walked around the city and showed Midge the sights, Kitty especially liked the experience. Midge was waiting for the moment that Lenny warned her about, the moment Kitty asked about calling her mom, she knew what she was going to say but she also knew she'd have to have a long talk with her kids before they met Lenny's daughter because of the answer she had to that question. The sun was starting to set and Midge realized that the whole day flew by. Thankfully, there was no show tonight so they were in no rush to go their separate ways.

Midge and Lenny were walking, with Kitty in between the two and holding Lenny's hand. Midge didn't try to stop the smile that came on her face when Kitty shyly reached over and grabbed Midge's hand too, though she did feel like a baby when she had to stop the few tears that wanted to fall. She wasn't sure if they were tears because she was happy or because she felt bad that Kitty's mother made her so insecure that something as small as holding hands with a mother figure brought her such apparent happiness.

"Alright, Kit. It's getting late, it's time for us to head back to Ma's to drop you off."

"You're not staying there with us?"

Lenny looked at Midge, they hadn't actually decided any solid plans for the night but Lenny hoped he'd be spending the night in— uh— with Midge. "Not tonight, but I promise to come over for breakfast."

"Okay," She said sadly but perked up quickly when she looked at Midge, "Are you staying? You're family now, so you're allowed!"

Midge looked at Lenny with a face that clearly said 'Help me'. So Lenny answered, "No, sweets. Midge has her own place to stay with the rest of the people on the tour."

"But I'm here for three more days and I promise we'll spend a lot of time together," Midge cut in. She wasn't sure why feeling close to this girl felt so natural. Truthfully, there had been times in her life when she was sure she wasn't meant to be a mom, that she just didn't have that maternal instinct. But it was clear Kitty needed someone and Midge had no problem being that person, it felt like she was completing her family, which Midge knew was cheesy and even ridiculous but she didn't care.

"Okay, Mama." Kitty's eyes opened wide, she looked terrified. She gripped Midge's hand tighter, so tight that Midge was surprised it was only a 5-year-old holding her hand, she let go of Lenny and wrapped her arms around Midge's arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I know you're not my mommy, just daddy's wife. Don't be mad…" She looked down and in a quiet voice she whispered, "Don't leave."

Midge felt her heart break a little bit at the young girls words. She heard Lenny curse under his breath and saw him bend down so that he was at eye level with Kitty but she ignored him. She bent and looked Kitty in the eye while freeing her arm so that she could place both her hands on Kitty's shoulders. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Calm down, kid. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not?"

"Well, we're dropping you off at your house but like I said, I'll be back tomorrow. I'm not planning on leaving for good, ever."

"Okay," Kitty said, still sounding unsure.

Midge pulled her a little closer, "And listen, it's okay with me if you want to call me Mom, I am your stepmother after all."

She looked up at Midge hopefully, "Really?"

"Yup."

"What about Mommy?"

"Sure."

"Mama?"

"Any variation of the word will do."

Instead of using words, Kitty showed her appreciation by squealing so loud Midge was sure her ears would be ringing for a week and jumped into her arms with so much force Midge almost fell back. It only took a second for Midge to hug her back, she looked over to Lenny to see if he approved of how she handled the situation, it was his kid after all, but she saw he was watching them making a face she'd never seen on him before. She couldn't quite figure out what that face meant but she had a feeling it was a good one, so she decided to worry about that later.

After another lap around the block, they were walking up to Sally Mae's front door to drop Kitty off. They were only a few steps away while Lenny was digging in his pockets for his keys when the door flew open and Sally was standing there looking angry. "Where have you two been? Dinner's probably ruined by now."

"I told you we were going out for the day," Lenny replied.

"Yeah but that was right after breakfast, I expected you to miss lunch but dinner too?" She shook her head

"I don't know what to tell you, Ma."

Sally looked at the group before addressing Kitty, "Get inside and ready for your bath."

Kitty nodded at her grandma before hugging her Dad then turning to Midge and asking still in an unsure tone, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure will," Midge said, patting Kitty's head.

Kitty smiled, "Okay! Night Daddy, night Mama."

Midge and Lenny both internally cringed when they saw Sally's eyes open wide at Kitty's words. Midge pushed her shoulders back (not an easy feat for someone with already perfect posture), she was going to do her best to make a good first impression with her new mother-in-law. She held her hand out to shake and felt a little better when she felt Lenny's arm go around her waist and pull her close, "Hi, I'm Midge, I heard a lot about you. It's really great to meet you, Sally."

Sally looked at her hand as if it was garbage before looking Midge in the eyes and refusing to shake her hand, "Funny, I've not heard anything about you."

"Um," She cleared her throat as she awkwardly put her hand back at her side, "Well, like I said, I'm Midge Maisel, uh, Weisman, uh Bruce. Well, any of those work depending on who you ask."

Sally looked over to Lenny, talking to him, ignoring Midge, "So this is the woman you got hitched to while drunk in Vegas."

Lenny was surprised, not at how his mother was acting, he saw that coming but at the fact that she knew those details, the only thing he told her was the fact that he was married again, "Alright Ma, cut it out. Yes, that's how we got married, but don't make it sound so dirty, we're happy, that's that, be happy for us."

"Didn't think your old mother had any contacts left in Vegas, did ya? You better believe I called around after you come home one day talking about being married and moving Kitty to New York."

Lenny sighed but Midge spoke first. "I know it seems fast but it's not. It was a long time coming. Probably since the first time we met."

"Yeah? And how long ago was that because he's only been divorced a year now."

"Yeah, and that's about ten months longer than me," Midge mumbled under her breath, louder she said, "Yeah, we were both married at the time but it wasn't as if there were any lines crossed or anything like that. I met him the night my husband left me, I was drunk and just got arrested for indecent exposure, I'm still not sure I believe that I flashed the crowd but my manager assures me I did, anyway, who else was in the back of that cop car? Lenny." Midge wasn't sure why she told Sally all that, well other than the fact that she rambled when she was nervous.

Lenny laughed awkwardly and pulled her even closer, kissing the top of her head, "Alright, alright, I think that's all the reminiscing about the beginning of our love story we need for tonight, don't you sweetheart?"

"Right, sorry." She turned back to Sally, "Anyway, this is real, we're married, and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon, so I'm not going anywhere."

"And what about his career? Are you going to get in the way of that? He's gotten a reputation in this field and being a family man does not fit it at all."

"Christ, Ma. How many times do I have to tell you I don't care about that? It'd be a godsend if I was able to stop being pulled off stages and into the back of cop cars."

"Lenny, we've talked about this, you're right on the edge, just push a little more and you'll be so big venues wouldn't dare to blackball you, and cops would be too afraid of messing up their careers to arrest you."

"That's bullshit, and every time I get arrested that's more money to the lawyers and less to Kitt… Fuck, I'm not going over this again. It doesn't matter anyways, give Midge a year or two and she'll be so big I'll only be known as her husband, not the other way around."

Midge's eyes widened, she heard him say things about her becoming huge before but never like that. She knew he believed in her but he said it with so much passion she couldn't help but swoon a little. It also filled her with confidence. She wanted Sally to like her, sure but she also wouldn't let anyone put her husband down, or force him into feeling bad about doing something he wanted to and finding a little happiness. "I would never stand in the way of his career, no matter how he decides to handle it because I trust him, I want him to succeed, but most of all, I want him to be happy. I'm sure you, as his mother, want the same thing."

"Well, sure…"

"Good. Then we're agreed." She cut Sally off. "It was really nice meeting you, and I can't wait to get to know you better, I just know we'll be the best of friends. I've heard from my ex-mother and father-in-law that I'm the best daughter a parent could want for their son, I'm sure you'll feel the same soon enough. It's getting late though and I have to practice for my set tomorrow, I have a few new jokes I want to try out on Lenny, so I think it's about time we head back to the hotel for the night. Are you ready, my dear husband?"

Lenny laughed again, this time a true laugh, not one filled with anxiety, and he kissed the top of her head again, "Sure thing, wife. See you tomorrow, Ma." Lenny said over his shoulder as they were already walking away.

On the way back to the hotel they were mostly quiet, not an awkward or upset silence, just enjoying each other's company and the beautiful view of California. Though they were quiet, Midge was filled with excited and nervous energy after the day she had, when she felt like this she tended to ramble and speak really quickly. "I think that went well, that went well, right? She liked me I'm pretty sure, aren't you? I mean I know I'm a lot sometimes but I think it was good, and that it'll be good when we all get back to New York. I'm talking about Kitty, of course. Your mother on the other hand, well I don't think…"

"Take a breath, Midge," Lenny said with a smile, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the street and pulled her close before kissing the top of her head. "It went great, she loves you, not that there was any doubt. It's your family I'm worried about. And don't worry about my mother, she liked you just fine, that's what she's like to everyone."

"My family just wants me to be happy." She looked at Lenny and saw his disbelief, "Okay, so maybe they want more than that, but you're Jewish so we're good there, and my dad likes you, which believe me, that one is a mind fuck and a half but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and neither should you."

Lenny lifted his hands in surrender, "Hey, I'm not complaining that I'm already on your father's good side, I just think that might change when he realizes I'm schtupping his daughter any time I have even the slightest opportunity."

She looked at him seriously, "Yeah, you're right, I think it's best if we keep that out of the conversation completely when I reintroduce you to them as my husband."

"Oh sweetheart, if you think anything needs to be said for him to know that, you're blind. He'll just have to see the way I look at you for a few seconds to know."

"Well keep your bedroom eyes to yourself! Well no, not to yourself because I enjoy them greatly but at least try to keep them in the bedroom."

"What happens when I want to have my way with you and a bedroom is too far away?"

"You'll just have to figure out a way to control yourself, at least when we're around my parents. When we're alone though, that's a completely different story." She said, feeling hot and bothered thinking about the night before after drinks at the bar and a great set from each of them. They were both on a high from a good performance and dealing with the fact that Lenny was at his mom's house while Midge was sharing a room with Susie. The plan was to just wait until they had some privacy but after a few hours of Lenny's soft caresses and dirty words in her ear while sitting at the bar, she couldn't wait any longer, so she pulled him out back and they did it right there in the alleyway, she felt like she was in college again, back when she was carefree and much more daring than she was now.

Speaking of caresses, well thinking of them, Lenny sure could do a lot to turn her on just while walking down the street with his arm around her. This was when she decided to splurge on a hotel room for just the two of them, so they could finally have some privacy. Thankfully, they were coming up on a hotel now and from the outside at least, it looked clean and respectable. Lenny didn't offer any fight when she grabbed him by the hand, went up to the front desk, and asked for a room. They spent the rest of the night alone, finally.

Midge was brought out of her daydream as the elevator rang signaling that she was on her floor. She had the room to herself now because Susie had to go back to New York for Sophie, somehow Susie managed to get that hack a whole Broadway show with a super famous co-star. Midge felt conflicted about the whole thing, she'd long since forgave Susie for taking Sophie on as a client. She understood that Susie only made ten percent of what Midge made, even if Midge became the biggest star on earth, Susie still wouldn't be a successful manager if Midge was her only client, and she wanted her best friend to succeed. It was Sophie Lennon who was the issue, though Susie had made her peace with her, Midge hadn't and didn't plan to any time soon, in fact, Midge was just vengeful enough to hope Sophie failed at her Broadway show. Well, that was, if that didn't mean Susie would fail too.

Either way, because she was in New York, Midge had the room to herself for the next few days, Susie wasn't meant to come back until almost when they were planning on leaving Miami. So she was going to use the time to herself to relax and pamper herself in ways she normally couldn't when Susie was there. Plus, she'd be able to call Lenny without having Susie's commentary in the background of their conversations. She was at her door, about to open it when she saw Carol, one of Shy's musicians open the door for her room service which arrived with enough food to feed Midge's family on Yom Kippur, which was saying a lot because her family knew how to eat a lot. Carol saw her trying to get into her room but stopped her.

"You wanna eat?" She went back into her hotel room before Midge had a chance to answer, so curiously, Midge entered the room. From further in the room she heard, "Beers in the bathtub, booze is on the sill."

Midge walked into the bathroom and saw that her tub was literally filled with ice, she couldn't help but comment on it. "You've got a bathtub full of ice."

"I like cold beer."

"How do you shower?"

"The pools have a shower."

"That's ingenious."

"That's fifteen years on the road." Carol sighed, before holding her beer up to cheers, "To someone with tits to talk to."

Their beers clink as Midge said, "I was going to go with 'new friends' but yours is better." Before they both took a sip, she looked down and the full cart of food and she sarcastically asked, "What didn't you order?"

"The fish. It stinks up the drapes."

"You pay for all this on your per diem?"

"No, I charge it to Howard's room." They both grab different plates of food and move over to the bed.

"You're kidding?"

"For the last three years."

"Does he know?"

"Howard doesn't know anything but how to tune a piano."

"And by 'tune a piano' you mean…"

"He's the piano tuner."

"Oh, okay. So it's literally 'tune a piano'. Sometimes words mean different things, I got it now." They both dig into their plates and moan at the taste. Midge can't help but gush with a mouthful of food, "Oh, this is good."

"Mhmm."

Still, with a full mouth, she says, "I'm so exhausted after these shows, sometimes I can't even dial room service."

Carol gave her a look as if she didn't believe Midge, though Midge wasn't sure what she said to deserve that look. "I know. At least behind the bandstand, I can take my shoes off."

"You can take your shoes off?"

"I keep slippers back there. Fuzzy ones, with rabbit ears."

"Lucky."

"15 years." She reminded

"Cute kids," Midge said, looking at a picture on Carol's nightstand.

"Thanks," Carol said, pointing to the child on the left of the picture, "That one is gonna be a huge asshole."

"How can you tell?"

"He's just like his dad… who is a huge asshole."

"Do you miss them? I mean, I know you miss them but…"

"They're with my mother, who is the queen of apple strudel, so they have a pretty good life. I send home the money. Nancy is starting ballet next week, so, I'll be supporting her forever. Yeah, I miss them."

"Do you ever feel guilty?"

"My dad was a traveling salesman. Gone, six days out of seven, nobody thought twice about that. What about your kids?"

"They live with their father while I'm gone."

"Really? He takes the kids?"

"Yup."

"Shit." She takes another sip of her beer before looking at Midge, "Is he single?"

"I don't think so." Midge laughed.

"So you're divorced?"

"…yes."

"Who do you've got your eye on?"

"I don't have my eye on anyone."

"Who are you saving it for?"

"The Smithsonian, gonna put it right next to the Star Spangled Banner."

"You've had sex since your husband, right?"

"Yes, with my fiance."

"Oh, where is he?"

"Back at home wondering what happened."

"What happened?"

"Shy Baldwin called me and asked me to go on tour with him."

"Oh." She sighed, "Well here's the skinny on one-night stands. If it's a guy in the band, keep it simple. No feelings, they can't think you're a girlie girl. Go to their place, never yours so that you can leave. And if the place is a slum, don't screw them. If his room is dirty, imagine how dirty the rest of him is."

"Ew."

Carol nodded in agreement, "Do you have a gun?"

"What?"

"It's not necessary, keys are a good weapon. High heels are great, and they never see it coming. And most hotels have an onsite shoe repair. Sometimes, if the guy seems really sketchy, but I just gotta have some, I'll shove a matchbook cover under the door for an easier getaway… you look scared."

"Gee, why would that be?"

"Sorry, I should have eased you into it. It's just, it gets lonely sometimes."

Midge liked Carol, she thought she could have a new friend in her but that wouldn't happen if she started the friendship off by lying to her. The last time they spoke about it, Lenny left it to her to decide when it was time to tell her friends and family. After California, everyone that mattered to him already knew. Midge decided to test the waters and tell her new friend about her newly married status.

"I get that, my loneliness led me to call my ex-husband to Vegas, I was about to backslide all the into bed with him."

"What stopped you?"

"It didn't take long until one of the multitude of reasons he's now an ex showed its ugly face. He accused me of sleeping with Shy to get the gig."

"Asshole. Men are assholes, that's why I only keep them for a night, it's better that way."

"I don't know, some men can be pretty great. You know, if they understand what you want to do with your life, if they're willing to support your aspirations, if they can make you laugh, if they're great in bed."

"I thought you said you didn't have your eye on anyone."

"Oh, I meant no one on the tour."

"Well, who is he? Who is this mythical man of virtue who will support a woman who wants to work, is fine with her being away for months out of the year, and can make you scream in bed?"

"Don't forget he can make me laugh too."

"Of course. Okay, spill."

Midge laughed, "Virtue is probably the last word anyone would use to describe him."

"Color me intrigued."

Midge looked at Carol seriously for a moment before taking a deep breath, pushing her plate over to the side, and sitting forward in the universal sign of someone spilling juicy gossip. "Okay, we haven't told anyone yet, well other than his kid but I might have gotten married when we were in Las Vegas. Well, I met his mom too but that's an experience I'd sooner forget."

Carol sat forward too, always one to enjoy some good gossip. "What? I thought you said it was no one on the tour."

"No one on our tour. He was touring too, or, at least his version of touring, which from what I can tell is picking up whatever gigs he can while he travels from New York to California and back again." She waved her hands in the air in negation and focused back on the point, "Anyway he just happened to be in Vegas while we were, we've been friends for a while. I actually met him the night my husband left me, in the back of a cop car but that's a whole different story."

"Okay, I'm starting to see this lack of virtue you're talking about."

"Yeah, so Joel, my ex-husband, and I just fought in the middle of the casino, I'm talking screaming, stomping, throwing a drink in his face fighting. Then a few minutes after Joel stomped away he came along and asked me for a drink. Well, one drink led to…. Ten, I think the number was. And we end up in the wedding chapel."

"And you're staying married? You know, if your manager is good at her job at all, she can help you with a quick divorce."

"We don't want a divorce. I think I've been falling in love with him since that first night."

"Huh, okay." She said, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. "So what does this guy do? Traveling salesman? Musician? Magician?"

"Comedian, like me."

"Okay, well at least you guys got that in common. Would I know this comic?"

"Maybe, he's well known in my line of work. Lenny Bruce."

Carol's eyes opened wide, signaling to Midge that she had heard of him before, she eventually replied with a simple, "Huh…"

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing! No, I'm just thinking, it's not surprising that he's good in bed, I mean, look at him. And definitely no virtue, which adds to the fun in bed. Funny too, obviously that makes sense. He understands better than most what life on the road is too. I can see it. Lucky girl."

Midge leaned back with her elbows resting on the bed holding her up while she looked up and dreamily replied, "Yeah."

"Gross."

"What?" Midge asked sitting back up to look at Carol.

"You're in love. Damn, I thought I was going to get another woman on the tour to gossip with about our late-night escapades."

"Sorry, it'd only be stories about one man for me."

"Fine, fine. I guess I'm still on my own on that front. I suppose there might be other things we can find to talk about."

Midge laughed and took another bite of her burger, she decided she really liked Carol and that they were going to become the best of friends. Other than Shy, she was the first person Midge became friends with on tour. They finished their meal talking, getting to know each other better, and drinking more beer. It wasn't often Midge drank beer, she liked them well enough, she just enjoyed cocktails and liquor more. That's why by the time she left Carol's room, she decided she was going to go down to the bar to get a real drink and work on some new jokes. Not before she went back into her room for an outfit change though.