The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I'm bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, Animation March Madness continues and you're in for a real treat. Today, Sean travels back into the 90s when he takes a look at whatever happened to the Family of Tomorrow. And today's movie that he's going to be taking a look at Jetsons: The Movie and he'll see if this movie is the series' swan song or if it's the final nail in the coffin. So sit back, relax and grab yourself something to drink and enjoy the hilarious new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Jetsons: The Movie is owned by Universal Pictures and Hanna-Barbera.
Animation March Madness Part III
Jetsons: The Movie
We open with our favorite movie critic Sean J. Archer, a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch while drinking his cup of coffee with french vanilla creamer in it before starting the introduction to today's review.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said. "And welcome back to Animation March Madness."
(The Animation March Madness intro plays)
"Well, since I took a look at two movies on the roster, I think it's time to take a look at the third film for Animation March Madness. Let's talk about Hanna-Barbera." Sean said.
(The Hanna-Barbera Productions swirling star logo from 1979 is shown, following a montage of their cartoons)
Sean: (Narrating) What can I say about William Hanna and Joseph Barbera? They're one of the greatest animators of all time and they're and important part of our childhood. With cartoons like Yogi Bear, Pixie & Dixie, Top Cat, Tom & Jerry, Scooby-Doo, Johnny Quest and much more. Yeah, I know. There's a lot to mention in this list. After their deaths, their legacy continues to live on with Warner Bros. handling production of new animation and life on HBO Max if you want to watch your favorite Hanna-Barbera cartoons and show it to your children.
"So, why am I talking about Hanna-Barbera? Well, today I'm going to be talking about one of the greatest animated shows ever created by them." Sean said.
(A clip from the Winston Cigarettes commercial featuring The Flintstones from 1962 is shown)
Fred Flintstone (Voiced by Alan Reed): (Sings) Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.
"Nope, not them. But you're close. In fact, I'm talking about The Jetsons." Sean said.
(The title screen for The Jetsons is shown, followed by clips from the show)
Sean: (Narrating) The Jetsons is a Space Age counterpart to Hanna-Barbera's already successful animated sitcom The Flintstones, the show ran for one season from 1962 to 1963, couldn't you believe that? But back in 1985, the show was back for two more seasons in syndication. After the end of it's final season in 1987, today's subject matter came about.
"And that movie is Jetsons: The Movie." Sean said.
(The title screen for Jetsons: The Movie is shown, followed by clips from the movie while the Jetsons Theme plays)
Sean: (Narrating) Released in theaters on July 6th, 1990, Jetsons: The Movie is an animated science fiction musical comedy written by Dennis Marks and directed by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. Back in 1985, a film adaptation based on The Jetsons started development for Paramount Pictures and executive producer Gary Nardino at the helm. The film was written by Eric Luke, the screenwriter of the movie Explorers and directed by the director of Explorers Joe Dante and actors like Charles Grodin or Chevy Chase were considered to play George Jetson.
"Yeah, I'd see Charles Grodin as George Jetson. He would be perfect for it. Chevy Chase, not so much." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But production of the movie did not go far, resulting in a turnaround and later on in the 80s, Universal Pictures brought the film rights for The Jetsons from Hanna-Barbera Productions.
"You know what they could've called Jetsons: The Movie? They could've called it "Jetsons: The Swan Song" because problems arose during production." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) I'm not kidding, there were some problems during production of the movie. Most of the actors were in their 60s or in poor health. Hell, two of the voice actors George O'Hanlon and Mel Blanc died. O'Hanlon was the first to go when he died from a stroke on February 11th, 1989 after he finished recording. The movie's voice director Andrea Romano would lated recall that he could record only an hour at a time due to his ill health and final stroke at the studio. The second to go was "The Man of a Thousand Voices" himself Mel Blanc, who died during production of the film on July 10, 1989. After the deaths of George O'Hanlon and Mel Blanc, voice actor Jeff Bergman would later step in and fill in for both O'Hanlon and Blanc as both George Jetson and Mel Blanc to complete their dialogue in additional scenes of the movie.
"So, is this movie a fitting finale to the Family of Tomorrow or is it the final nail in the coffin for them? Let's take a look at the first movie from the family that's truly ahead of it's time. This is Jetsons: The Movie." Sean said.
(The movie opens with a shot of Spacely's Orbiting Ore Asteroid)
Sean: (Narrating) So our story begins… (Deep, echoing voice) IN SPAAAAAACE! (Back to normal voice) As our rousing tale begins with… industrial sabotage.
"Wow. We're about three seconds in and already getting weird." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that somebody is sabotaging Spacely's Orbiting Ore Asteroid. I bet ya it's that Cogsworth fella. He's always trying to sabotage Spacely. No, it's not Cogsworth. In fact, we'll get to who's sabotaging Spacely later on in the movie. We then cut to the classic Jetsons intro, which gets a major upgrade as we see some early 80s-90s CGI. And we get our cast for the movie like George O'Hanlon as George Jetson, Penny Singleton as Jane Jetson, Jean Vanderply as Rosie the Robot, Don Messick as Astro and Mel Blanc as Mr. Spacely. But then we get some notable changes to the cast. First up, Patric Zimmerman plays the voice of Elroy Jetson, replacing original Elroy voice actor Daws Butler because you know, he fucking died from old age.
"And you might recall the name Patric Zimmerman. He played the voice of Revolver Ocelot in the Metal Gear Solid games."
(A clip from Metal Gear Solid is shown)
Revolver Ocelot (Voiced by Patric Zimmerman): This is the greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. (Spins his gun around) Six bullets. More than enough to kill anything that moves. Now I'll show you why they call me… "Revolver".
"He went from voicing Elroy Jetson to Revolver Ocelot. Now, that's one hell of a transition right there." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And here's the most controversial casting change. Janet Waldo, the original voice actor who played Judy Jetson, was replaced by pop singer Tiffany in order to attract a stronger box office performance. Voice director Andrea Romano was displeased with the casting change that she had her name removed from the finished film.
"You all might recognize Tiffany from her songs like "I Think We're Alone Now", "Could've Been" and "I Saw Him Standing There". Also in 2002, she posed nude for Playboy and don't you dare Google it, you perverts." Sean said as he points at the camera.
Sean: (Narrating) After we get some early CGI animation, we arrive at the home of the Jetsons' skypad apartment and Rosie the Robot, voiced by Jane Vanderpyl is getting everything ready. Oh, yeah, I just like to point out that Skypad Apartments tend to rise up because the Earth's climate is still polluted from smog and stuff. And we're introduced to the man of the house, the king of the castle George Jetson, voiced by George O'Hanlon, as he gets ready for the daily grind.
George Jetson (Voiced by George O'Hanlon): Morning, Rosie. What's for breakfast?
Rosie the Robot (Voiced by Jean Vanderpyl): Orange juice, eggs, bacon, toast with marmalade and coffee. How do you want your eggs?
(A cube pops out of Rosie)
George Jetson: Skip the eggs.
Rosie the Robot: (Cuts the cube in half) Watching your cholesterol, eh, Mr. J? Say "ah."
George Jetson: Aaaah!
(Rosie puts the cube on George's tongue before putting his tongue back in his mouth as he swallows the cube)
George Jetson: Hmm. You burned the toast.
"Well, that's what you get for makin' me work on my birthday, Mr. J." Sean said, imitating Rosie the Robot.
Sean: (Narrating) But before he leaves for work, he says goodbye to his wife and kids.
Elroy Jetson (Voiced by Patric Zimmerman): Have a good day, Dad.
George Jetson: (Pats Elroy on his head) You too, Elroy.
Elroy Jetson: Uh, Dad?
George Jetson: Yes, Son?
Elroy Jetson: You're coming to my spaceball game today, aren't you? It's the tournament semifinals.
George Jetson: Sure, Elroy. I wouldn't miss it for the universe.
Elroy Jetson: (Smiles) Starts at 4:00.
George Jetson: I'll be there.
"Oh, yeah. I'm sure that he'll be there. Spoiler alert: he'll miss his son's spaceball game." Sean said as he whispers to the camera.
Judy Jetson (Voiced by Tiffany): I love you, Dad.
George Jetson: Love you, Judy. (Kisses Judy on her cheek)
Judy Jetson: Uh, Dad, there's a dance at school this afternoon.
George Jetson: (Gives Judy some money) That's nice, dear.
Judy Jetson: Oh, thanks, Dad. You're intergalactic.
George Jetson: Yeah. I'm out of money, too.
Jane Jetson (Voiced by Penny Singleton): Bye, darling.
(Astro runs towards George and knocks him down)
George Jetson: Astro!
(Astro licks George on his face)
George Jetson: So I forgot to say goodbye.
(Astro licks George's face again and gives him a hug)
Astro (Voiced by Don Messick): I love you, George.
"Hey, Astro. You better watch your ass there, buddy. You may be property of Hanna-Barbera as well, but it doesn't mean that Scooby-Doo will be out for blood." Sean said as a photo of Scooby-Doo is shown.
Sean: (Narrating) George drives off to work but he ends up getting caught in traffic and he listen to Rick Dees on his radio.
Rocket Rick Ragnarok (Voiced by Rick Dees): This is Rocket Rick. Your Dees Drive-time digital top ten DJ. And here's the morning traffic advisory for all of you poor drones who have to do this every day.
George and Rocket Rick: (Both) Turn around, go home and go back to bed
George Jetson: Very funny. Now, let's have it straight or I'm gonna be late again.
"Damn, space traffic. I bet you there's a drunk Russian doing some bad space driving." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Rocket Rick says that the 404 is open which makes some R2-D2 beeping sounds. But that doesn't work when it ends up getting jammed. So, George opts for another option.
George Jetson: It's time for the Jetson traffic beater, Inflate-a-Cop.
(George presses a button as Inflate-a-Cop pops up)
"Wait, it that Otto from Airplane!?" Sean asked as a photo of Otto is shown.
Sean: (Narrating) George mimics the sound of a police siren to move everyone out of the way, but fails miserably when an actual cop shows up to pull him over and hand him a needle to pop the Inflate-a-Cop. Yeah, that was dumb of George. Even for World's Dumbest Drivers standards and that would land him in traffic school. And then we get some cheesy 80s music just to rub it in George's face.
(The song "Gotcha" performed by Steve McClintock and Garm Beall starts playing. Then we cut to a clip from iCarly, where we see Carly and Sam doing some random dancing, followed by a clip from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, where we see Carlton dancing)
George Jetson: George Jetson reporting to say, whatever it is I do, I just did it again.
Robot Secretary (Voiced by Janet Waldo): You certainly did, George.
"Oh, yeah. The robot secretary is voiced by Janet Waldo. Okay, I'm insulted." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we see that George's boss, Mr. Spacely, is having a meeting with the board of directors (sees Mr. Spacely spinning around in his chair) while imitating Baron Harkonnen from Dune, as he shows them the Orbiting Ore Asteroid Manufacturing plant. But there's one problem, one of the board members tell him that the space station has worked a grand total of three days in the last six months and Spacely claims that they've had leadership problems and that everything is going smoothly with the new vice president in charge.
Mr. Spacely (Voiced by Mel Blanc): Soon we will produce our one millionth Spacely sprocket in outer space.
All: Spacely! Spacely! Spacely! Spacely! Spacely!
Mr. Spacely: It's so nice to be loved.
Sean: (Narrating) But, Spacely gets an important phone call when the plant engineer Rudy 2, voiced by Ronnie Schell, tells Spacely that he lost another vice president and that the plant has been sabotaged again. So now, Spacely is screwed. So now, he needs to find someone who is able to do the job and guess who that person is.
Mr. Spacely: Need, one, a worker whose total loyalty is to Spacely Sprockets. And, of course, to me, President, CEO and all-round sweetie pie. Two, someone expendable.
(An image of Caillou, instead of Mr. Spacely, is shown on the computer)
Mr. Spacely: Very funny. Three, someone who will work for peanuts. Four, not too bright. And, five, someone who can push a button. That's it. Okay, okay. What have you got?
Gertrude (Voiced by Susan Silo): It's thinking, Mr. Spacely, it's thinking.
(Instead of an image of George Jetson, an image of Donald Trump is shown. Then, we cut to a clip from the iCarly episode iChristmas where we see Carly screaming)
"Alright, I'm kidding. It's not Trump. It's actually George." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, why did the computer pick out George to be the vice president? Mostly because they want to get rid of his clumsy ass.
Mr. Spacely: I wouldn't use Jetson if Spacely Sprockets were going bankrupt, if I needed a transfusion, if I lost my stockholders, my home, If I were penniless. Penniless?
Gertrude: He is expendable.
Mr. Spacely: (A devilish grin appears on Spacely's face) Perfect.
"Perfect! Now Gertrude, initiate blowjob mode." Sean said, imitating Mr. Spacely.
Sean: (Narrating) So, Spacely promptly promotes George to vice president and he sends him and his family to the plant.
George Jetson: Vice President. Pack? Go?
Mr. Spacely: How quickly you grasp things. I knew you were the right man for the job up there.
"Yeah, more like the right dupe for the job." Sean said.
Mr. Spacely: George, what do you do for us down here?
George Jetson: Well, I push the button that gets things started.
Mr. Spacely: Exactly. And now, with your family beside you, you face a new challenge. Are you up to it, Jetson?
George Jetson: Yes sir, Mr. Spacely.
Mr. Spacely: It's going to be a lot of work.
George Jetson: Not too much for me, sir.
Mr. Spacely: Good. Then roll up your sleeves. You'll be working overtime.
(George rolls up his sleeves and bumps into the clock, knocking himself out)
"Oh, well nice job, dumbass. You're the world's most biggest dupe and now you're going to miss your son's spaceball game. You bastard." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of Elroy, he's at his spaceball game and he ends up performing the Elroy elevator.
Elroy Jetson: Going up, going down. Going up, going down. Going in.
(Elroy makes the shot into the basket, resulting in his team winning the game. He sees that his father hasn't shown up to see him play)
Elroy Jetson: Hey, where's Dad? My big moment and he wasn't there to see it.
"Damn, movie. Now you're making it act like George is a bad father." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile with Judy, she's having a better time with her friends at the Cosmic Cosmo concert. Who's Cosmic Cosmo? This guy with the electric guitar, hoverboard and cool hair. Also he's voiced by singer Steve McClintock, who you probably might recognize as the guy who's song got mocked by the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 while they were riffing the movie "Space Mutiny".
"Check it out, it's pretty funny when Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot "singing along" using lyrics from other songs. Friggin' hilarious." Sean said.
Cosmic Cosmo (Voiced by Steve McClintock): Hey, what's your name?
Judy Jetson (Sighs and stammers) J-J-Judy.
Cosmic Cosmo: Well, J-J-Judy, we got a date Friday night. (Singing) May be love. Maybe not.
Sean: (V/O while singing) Don't pay the ferryman! I wear my sunglasses at night!
Sean: (Narrating) So anyway, George comes home and he breaks the news to his family about him being promoted to Vice President of the company and also that they gotta move. In which his family does not react well to the news.
All: Move!
George Jetson: Yup. To Spacely's Orbiting Ore Asteroid.
All: To Spacely's Orbiting Ore Asteroid!
George Jetson: Tomorrow.
All: Tomorrow!
"Tomorrow, tomorrow. I love you, tomorrow. You're only a day away." Sean sings.
Elroy Jetson: But what about my spaceball playoffs?
Judy Jetson: And my date with Cosmic Cosmo?
Jane Jetson: And my recycling.
George Jetson: Hey, I thought you'd be happy. You all know how long I've wanted to get a promotion. And besides, I'm doing it all for you, my family.
Astro: Aww, George!
(Astro kisses George on his cheek)
"Uh, Astro. When I say the love of George's life by his side, I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about Jane." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So the Jetsons leave Earth as they head to the plant while Judy is bummed out because she's not going out on her date with Cosmic Cosmo and then we get our first song of the movie, "Staying Together" by Shane Sutton while the Jetsons are jamming to the song and it gives the movie a chance to show off some of it's CGI animation. Look movie, we get it. You're using CGI throughout the movie. Hell, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm had a CGI animated Gotham City on the opening credits of the film and it looked amazing. Also, you guys are trying to act like the Spider-Man cartoon. But enough about the CGI, it's time for some Random Dancing.
(A clip from iCarly plays, featuring Carly and Sam dancing to Shane Sutton's "Staying Together")
Sean: (Narrating) So the Jetsons move into their new home on the asteroid and everyone explores their new home. (Sees George walking on the conveyor belt sidewalk) And look at that, he's about to walk Astro on the conveyor belt like he always does at the end of every episode of the show's first season. Points to the creators for adding this little gag in the movie.
George Jetson: (While running for his life on the conveyor belt) Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!
(A clip from the end credits of the series is shown)
George Jetson: (After Astro and a cat make the conveyor belt go fast, leaving George running for his life on it) Help! Help! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! Help! JAAAAAAAAANE!
Sean: (Narrating) It's not long until the neighbors show up and we're introduced to Rudy 2's wife Lucy 2, voiced by Patti Deutsch, who Jane befriends. And also Judy is heartbroken that she lost her chance at a date with Cosmic Cosmo, which a friend of hers takes.
Judy Jetson: (Crying) I'll never be happy again. Never, never, never, never. I hate this place.
(Judy goes to her room, crying)
Lucy 2 (Voiced by Patti Deutsch): Don't worry. Kids are all the same.
"So, you're saying that kids are like robots?" Sean asked.
Jane Jetson: Judy, how'd you like to go shopping at the mall tomorrow?
Judy Jetson: I can't. I can't. (Smiles) What time does it open?
"Well, that's one way to mend a broken heart. Taking your teenage daughter to the mall to make him forget about that, what was his name again? Cosmic who?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, the family gets concerned about where Elroy is at after he decided to go out on his own. But don't worry, he's fine. Although, something furry and adorable has followed him home.
George Jetson: How many times have I told you not to bring in pets?
Elroy Jetson: I know, Dad, but he followed me home. Can I keep him. Please?
"Please, Dad? Can we keep him? He's too adorable like Orbitty." Sean said, imitating Elroy before switching to his normal voice. "By the way, what the hell happened to Orbitty? Any explanation to the whereabouts of Orbitty? None? Well, fuck you too then."
Sean: (Narrating) They see that the little adorable blue furball belong to these blue fuzzballs known as Furbelows. And these are it's parents.
Bertie Furbelow (Voiced by Brad Garrett): We're the Furbelows. Bertie Furbelow, Gertie Furbelow.
Gertie Furbelow (Voiced by B.J. Ward): How do you do?
Bertie Furbelow: And that's our little Fergee. She's a girl.
Rosie the Robot: How can you tell?
George Jetson: Uh, we're…
Bertie Furbelow: The Jetsons. George, Jane, Judy and Elroy. We know. Been expecting you.
"Wait a minute. That guy sounds oddly familiar." Sean said.
(A clip from Superman: The Animated Series is shown)
Lobo (Voiced by Brad Garrett): I'm givin' you geeks ten seconds before I frag everything in sight. One… ten!
"Goddamn it, Brad Garrett! What the hell are you doing on my show? Can't you do something that's not horrible for me to review?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, yeah. We do get a taste of some Furbelow music. What is Furbelow music you might ask? This is Furbelow music.
(As they leave, Bertie starts imitating the drums and chants of Furbelow music)
(A clip from Men in Black II plays as we see J using a translator to talk to the alien as they both talk to each other in beatbox)
(We then cut to George and Jane in bed)
Jane Jetson: You know, George, I've got the strangest feeling something wonderful is going to happen to us up here.
George Jetson: That's funny. I feel the same way.
Jane Jetson: Good night, George. (Kisses George on the cheek)
"Hey, Jane. The kids are asleep. How about you give me some of that vice presidential poontang?" Sean asked, imitating George Jetson.
"George, I'm 82 years old. You cannot be serious." Taylor said, imitating Jane Jetson.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at the plant, we see that the mysterious creatures are sabotaging the plant once again and don't you just love how this movie's music is ripping off another movie soundtrack?
(The movie's soundtrack plays during the scene where the mysterious creatures are sabotaging Spacely's plant, then we cut to the Map Room scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark)
"Hey, John Debney. Don't be ripping off the great John Williams, now. Don't you dare rip off the master." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, George starts his first day as vice president at the plant in his new talking flying car. Once he arrives at the plant, George meets Rudy 2 and he shows him around the plant.
Rudy 2 (Voiced by Ronnie Schell): There's the drilling bore. It brings up the ore.
George Jetson: The bore brings up the ore. Got it.
Rudy 2: (Starts rapping) The ore makes the sprockets.
George Jetson: The ore makes the sprockets?
Rudy 2: Uh-huh.
George Jetson: Uh-huh.
Rudy 2: (Continues rapping) Pack the sprockets into packets.
George Jetson: (Rapping) Sack the packets into brackets?
Rudy 2: For the lockers.
George Jetson: For the lockers.
We cut back to Sean, who does a spit take after drinking some coffee from watching the scene.
"WHAT THE HELL? Did they just rap?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Did we seriously just watch a robot and George Jetson rapping about sprockets?
"No. No, no, no, it's gotta be a mistake. I'm just gonna go ahead and drink my Minute Maid peach punch mixed with vodka, and confirm how wrong I was about this ridiculous misunderstanding." Sean said as he drinks out of his Big Bang Theory cup that's filled with Minute Maid peach punch juice and vodka.
Rudy 2: (Continues to rap) Lock the sprocket locker key in the pocket of your jacket.
George Jetson: (Raps) Got the sprocket locker key in my outer jacket pocket.
Sean does a much violent spit take after he witnesses Rudy and George rapping.
"Holy shit, they rapped! They were actually rapping!" Sean yelled out.
(Montage of still frames of the apocalypse falling on the city of Cincinnati, pigs flying, Satan wearing a winter coat in a frozen Hell, dogs and cats living together and a picture of Sean with Elizabeth Gillies as Fallon Carrington from Dynasty)
Sean: (Narrating) The apocalypse has finally begun, pigs are flying, Satan is making snow angels in Hell, dogs and cats are living together and I'm married to Fallon Carrington from Dynasty.
"Unbelievable, this is unbelievable. We just witnessed a robot and George Jetson rapping about sprockets. And trust me, it gets worse later on. Oh, man. It does." Sean said.
Rudy 2 and George: (Raps) Yes, we rocket while we're rappin', and we're rockin' and a rollin' and we rocket the sprockets to Spacely. (High five each other) Yeah.
"Rudy 2: All About the Sprockets. Out now at your local Target, Best Buy and Wal-Mart, motherfuckers." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Judy is hanging out at the mall with Jane and Lucy 2 and once again Judy is still heartbroken over Cosmic Cosmo.
"Okay, so we have a character voiced by Tiffany in a mall. Well, time to shoehorn in a song from her." Sean said.
(The song "I Always Thought I'd See You Again" starts playing)
Judy Jetson: (Sings) No, I'm not making that promise again. Nothing can change my mind. Nothing at all.
"Man, look at all of those young lovers. So happy and in love. Why are you still hung up on that fuckboy?! You only knew him for five minutes, you stupid bimbo!" Sean yelled out.
Judy Jetson: (Sings) I always thought I'd see you again. How it hurts every time you cross my heart again. Got to give it all it takes, to hold what might have been. 'Cause I always thought I'd see you again.
"You know, the thought of you and Cosmic Cosmo just makes me want to puke up blood." Sean said.
Judy Jetson: I'll never trust another boy ever again.
"Right, so how long until she meets another boy?" Sean asked while he looks at his watch.
(Judy crashes into another teenage boy)
Judy Jetson: Ooh, you dumb, dumb, du…
Apollo Blue (Voiced by Paul Kreppel): Dummy?
Judy Jetson: Uh-huh.
"See? She ends up crashing into another boy and immediately goes back on her promise. Has the female mind ever been more perfectly summarized?" Sean asked as the he starts laughing while female audience members start booing him. "Oh, come on! You know it's true! Don't deny it, ladies! Don't deny it!"
(A clip from Victorious is shown)
Tori Vega (Played by Victoria Justice): What is wrong with you?
Sean: (Narrating) Judy meets this blue fella named Apollo Blue, voiced by Paul Kreppel, and sparks instantly fly between the two of them.
Apollo Blue: My name's Apollo Blue.
Judy Jetson: I'm Judy.
"You think that her parents will approve of her dating this guy? I mean, he is black, I mean blue. Not that there's anything wrong with an interracial romance. Unless that they have , which is their version of… okay, I'm going too far on this one. Let's continue." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Elroy is practicing his Elroy elevator and he meets Rudy 2's son Teddy 2, voiced by the late Dana Hill.
Elroy Jetson: Hi. You any good?
Teddy 2 (Voiced by Dana Hill): My name may be Teddy 2, but I'm number one.
Elroy Jetson: (His dialogue is replaced with Revolver Ocelot's lines) I've been waiting for you, Solid Snake. Now we'll see if the man can live up to the legend. (Back to Elroy's dialogue as he performs his Elroy elevator) Going up. Going down. (Throws the ball) Going in.
(Teddy 2 extends his arm and grabs the ball)
Teddy 2: No way, Elray.
(Teddy 2 makes the shot)
(The "Game Over" screen from Metal Gear Solid is shown while the theme plays)
Revolver Ocelot: You idiot!
Sean: (Narrating) Back on Earth, Spacely and the board members are all set to see the plant reopening. And that's a big deal because it's a big job for George as his family supports him. So George presses the button and things start to go smoothly. While all that is going on, Jane and Lucy 2 are trying to get their sons to get along.
(Elroy and Teddy 2 cross their arms and look away from each other)
"Oh, so they're not doing what they're told, huh? Oh, don't worry, ladies. The 60s had a way of dealing with this sort of problem." Sean said as he takes his belt off. "Boy, you better get along with that walking toaster or so help me I'm gonna give you the taste of leather. Don't you walk away from me while I'm talking to you. Get back here, I'm talking to you! Come here, you little spoiled son of a bitch!"
Sean: (Narrating) As they try to hit the one million sprocket, things start to go out of control when the plant is sabotaged, this results in Elroy and Teddy 2 forming a friendship after Elroy saves him from flying cogs. And of course, this disaster lands George in hot water.
Mr. Spacely: (Yells) JETSON!
George Jetson: Mr. Spa-Spa-Spa…
Mr. Spacely: What's going on up there?
George Jetson: Uh, uh, our bricken bracken's broken in the sprocken locken.
"NO, NO, NO, NO! Don't you fucking dare rap again, or so help me God I will turn you into swiss cheese." Sean said as he pulls out his MP5 submachine gun. "Do not test me, Jetson."
Sean: (Narrating) After that disastrous turn of events, Rudy 2 tells George that ever since the plant opened that there's been an unusual amount of glitches and tells him that it's best for him to leave. But George does not want to leave and lose his chance to be a Vice President.
George Jetson: No way.
Rudy 2: But George, there's…
George Jetson: Not another word. George Jetson doesn't run away from a glitch. We just need to make a few repairs tomorrow, and then the magic Jetson finger will show just what it can do.
"Hey George, I got a magic finger too. Let me show you what it can do." Sean said as he gives George Jetson the middle finger.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, George turns the factory back on… without fixing anything.
"You know, because he's a fucking idiot." Sean said.
(George sees that the sprockets are piling up as he runs over and grabs them all)
"Well, what did you think was going to happen exactly?" Sean asked.
(A clip from Beavis and Butt-Head is shown)
Butt-Head (Voiced by Mike Judge): You're a stupid dumbass.
(George lands on the conveyor belt and goes through the machine. We then hear a bloodcurdling scream and we see blood pouring all over the screen. We then cut to the end credits as Shane Sutton's "All the Way" starts playing)
"Alright, alright. I'm kidding. That's not how it happened." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) With the plant still going haywire, Mr. Spacely decides to fly down to the Asteroid, and I just love this little gag where he goes on a cheap flight. Meanwhile, Judy is hanging out with Apollo Blue and what do you know? We get another song.
"Oh, great. Not another song. Look, please. I'll give you some money. I'll even shine your shoes. I'll do porn for money. Just please, don't play another so…" Sean said.
(Apollo strums the guitar as we cut back to Sean, who recoils back in surprise as rock music plays and the next musical sequence "You and Me" performed by Tiffany plays)
"What the heck? A howling guitar, a catchy riff. Holy cow, I think I found the best song and the best sequence of the movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, let's cut to the chase. "You and Me" performed by Tiffany is simply amazing, plus it has an inventive music video to go with it. If you're like me and you love late 80s and early 90s rock music, then go and listen to the full song on YouTube.
"Hell, this song works perfect for your favorite pairings. Like for example, Creddie from iCarly." Sean said.
(A montage of clips and photos of Carly Shay and Freddie Benson from iCarly are shown while the song "You and Me" starts playing)
"Man, that song is fucking awesome." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back with George, he returns home after another sabotage incident at the plant when Rudy 2 reveals that these sabotages weren't accidents and that they were just a warning to close the plant down and that they've been getting them since the plant first opened and have been losing four vice presidents.
"And you bothered to tell him this now and not before he started working on the Asteroid, you tin can piece of shit?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) But George, being the complete idiot that he is, isn't going to back down without a fight. So, he's heading back down to the plant and keep watch to see who's trying to sabotage the plant.
Rudy 2: (Shakes George's hand) Good luck, George.
George Jetson: Huh?
Rudy 2: I'm sorry, George. I like you, but I've got to think about my family. I've got three hungry oil spouts to fill.
"You fucking coward! Can we go back to a few scenes earlier?" Sean asked.
Mr. Spacely: But the Orbiting Ore Asteroid can't work without someone to push the start button. I'll make you a vice president, Rudy 2.
Rudy 2: Forget it. We've lost four vice presidents. It's not worth it.
Mr. Spacely: I'll give you a ra-ra-ra-raise.
Rudy 2: No button.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, he offered to make you a vice president. Hell, he even offered you a raise and yet you can't push a button. And now, you can't help George because you have three oil spouts to fill?
"You know, I'm getting sick and tired of you, Rudy 2. Time for you to die, you walking toaster oven!" Sean yelled out as he fires his MP5 at Rudy 2, but the bullet bounces off of Rudy 2 and ends up hitting Sean in the chest as he looks down and sees blood oozing out. "Huh? What do you know? I've been shot."
(Sean falls to the floor dead and we see the words "Game Over" on the screen while the Game Over theme from Sonic the Hedgehog plays in the background)
George Jetson: George Jetson is mad, and he's not gonna take it anymore.
(A clip from Network plays)
Howard Beale (Played by Peter Finch): I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!
Sean: (Narrating) After overhearing this, Elroy and Teddy 2 also vow to solve this mystery. What do you know? Rudy 2's son has balls bigger than him. Back at the plant, George stakes out the area so he can catch the culprits. And how does he do it?
(We cut to George, who ends up falling asleep in his chair)
Sean: (Narrating) He does this by falling asleep in his chair.
"Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. He's planning on catching the culprits who's doing the dastardly act and yet he's being a lazy ass. Stupid." Sean said.
(George ends up getting carried away by the mysterious creatures)
Sean: (Narrating) And because of George's stupidity, he ends up being carried away by the creatures who are sabotaging the plant. Meanwhile, Elroy and Teddy 2 are looking for a way to get inside the plant.
(Teddy 2 extends his legs way up high to the vent)
Teddy 2: Grab my ankles. I'll show you my elevator.
Sean's eyes widened in surprise. "Uh… I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to do this joke."
Sean ends up pointing up at the ceiling.
Singers: The Ambiguously Gay Duo!
"You made me do this joke, movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back with Judy, she is on her date with Apollo Blue, and right when she's about to get a taste of Apollo Blue's blueberry, Jane interrupts at the last minute and asks about Elroy.
Jane Jetson: Is Elroy with you?
Judy Jetson: Elroy? No.
Jane Jetson: He and Teddy have wandered off. I need you to help me find them. Search the mall, search the school.
(A clip from The Fugitive is shown)
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard (Played by Tommy Lee Jones): What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.
Judy Jetson: Now?
Jane Jetson: Now.
Judy Jetson: Aah!
Jane Jetson: I knew you'd understand.
"Goddamn it! So much for letting Apollo sticking his blueberry inside my muffin. Why does Elroy have to ruin this night for me?" Sean asked, imitating Judy Jetson.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at the plant, Elroy and Teddy 2 make their way inside and they come across one of the culprits who are sabotaging the plant. And they are revealed to be…
(Elroy and Teddy 2 pick up the two red buckets. One of them happen to be Fergee and the other happen to be a mysterious furry creature)
Elroy Jetson: (Grabs the creature) Gotcha.
Fergee Furbalow (Voiced by Russi Taylor): Grungee!
Elroy Jetson: Grungee?
"A Mogwai and an Ewok combined?" Sean asked as a picture of Gizmo from Gremlins and a picture of Wicket from Return of the Jedi are shown.
Sean: (Narrating) No, this little furball causing these accidents is known as a Grungee. And the reason why the Grungee community is not very happy with what they're doing as the little fuzzball claims that they're destroying their town. But Elroy doesn't believe it as the Grungee decides to take them to their home, but not until Judy and Apollo show up.
Apollo Blue: Well, well, look what we've got here.
Judy Jetson: Elroy, you're coming home with me right… (Sees the Grungee) Hey, what's that cute little guy?
"That's marketing. What do you think?" Sean asked. "And how the hell did you two get in ?"
Sean: (Narrating) So, the little Grungee named Squeep, voiced by Frank Welker, leads Elroy, Judy, Apollo, Teddy 2 and Fergee down to the depths of the Asteroid and they come across a community of Grungees.
"Holy shit, it's a whole community of Mogwoks. That's Mogwai and Ewok combined." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) It turns out that the mining portion of the plant is destroying their home, that's the reason why they've been sabotaging the plant to protect their home.
"Oh, Christ. An environmental message in a 90s movie. Hell, that's not the only Hanna-Barbera movie that has an environmental message." Sean said before coughing the title of the movie. "Once Upon a Forest!"
Judy Jetson: How awful! You poor thing. We've got to do something.
Apollo Blue: But what?
(The screen freezes on Apollo Blue looking at the camera before we cut back to Sean, who makes a confused look at Apollo before looking around)
"What you want, a cookie?! Why are you looking a me for?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Jane, Rudy 2 and Astro find everybody at the plant, except for George. But wait, there's George as he appears hogtied. So Jane sits him down and politely asks him to shut down the plant. His response…
George Jetson: You want me to do what? I'm finally a vice president after years of, "Yes, Mr. Spacely," "Absolutely, Mr. Spacely,". "Oh, and by the way, Mr. Spacely. Now that I'm a vice president, my family wants me to close your plant and lose my job just as I've reached the top." No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! And that's final!
Jane Jetson: Well, we'll just see about that.
"How about not getting any action from me for the rest of your life, mister?" Sean asked, imitating Jane Jetson.
Jane Jetson: George, all I ask is that you look around and see what your job is making you do. No job is worth destroying the lives of innocent creatures./You're destroying it and them.
(A clip from the movie Screwed is shown)
Miss Virginia Crock (Played by Elaine Stritch): Whoooooo cares?
"Yeah, had to be done because you had to throw in a goddamn environmental message in the movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But Mr. Spacely arrives as he pulls the ultimate dick move by starting the plant, even though he knows that the Jetsons are down below and this causes chaos for the Jetsons and the Grungees. So, they try to make it out of there without anyone dying.
(Elroy screams as him and Squeep get buried alive under rubble)
Jane Jetson: Elroy!
"Holy shit! I-I didn't expect them to kill anyone off, especially a little kid. Oh, man! Why? You screenwriting bastards, why did you have to kill Elroy?! Why? WHY?!" Sean cried out.
(The Grungees rescue Elroy and Squeep from out of the rubble)
George Jetson: Elroy! Oh, thank God you're safe, son!
Jane Jetson: Oh, Elroy. Darling!
"I can't believe Elroy is… oh wait! Elroy's alive. It's a bloody miracle! Boy, I thought that the Jetsons were going to be one member short. Don't do this to me, movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, they make it up topside to stop the drilling but not before George deals with the "little" problem.
Mr. Spacely: What do you think you're doing, Jetson?
George Jetson: Turning off the plant before you do any more damage.
Mr. Spacely: Stay away from this button. That's an order!
George Spacely: No, sir, Mr. Spacely.
Mr. Spacely: What?
George Jetson: I said, no, sir, Mr. Spacely.
"Yeah! Way to go, George. Way to tell your boss off." Sean said, cheering George on.
Sean: (Narrating) George manages to shut the plant down and they come to an agreement by having the Grungees run the plant and create new Spacely sprockets and recycling old ones. Way to shoehorn in your environmental message, movie. After Spacely Sprockets reach their millionth sprocket, Mr. Spacely gives George his old job back, but making him vice president with no raise. So now, they have to head back to Earth but not before saying goodbye to their new friends
Teddy 2: (To Elroy) Maybe someday we'll play on the same team.
Elroy Jetson: We already have, and we won.
(Elroy and Teddy 2 high five each other as the screen freezes on the two of them as the Top Gun Anthem starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) We get another song from Tiffany as the Jetsons say goodbye to their friends and the Grungees, with them thanking George for saving their home. And now, the Jetsons head back home to Earth and…
(The song "We're the Jetsons" performed by XXL starts playing)
"What the country fried chicken Christ is this? A Jetsons rap?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, since this is the start of the 90s, we've got to make it hip and fresh by adding a Jetsons rap!
"Okay, movie's over. Let's rap this review up. This is Jetsons: The Movie and boy, this movie is dumb." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown again while "We're the Jetsons" by XXL plays)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, it's not bad but it's not good either. They try to hard to reference old gags while trying to force in new material and let's not forget that they try to shoehorn in an environmental message. Not to mention the fact that George O'Hanlon and Mel Blanc passing away literally during recording. The animation is good as well as the use of CGI animation for certain parts of the film. The movie has it's moments with the occasional good joke and that awesome song "You and Me" by Tiffany. The movie was received poorly by critics and audience alike. From what I've read about this movie on IMDB, the movie's plot shares a similar plot to an old Star Trek episode titled "Devil in the Dark". Also, Alan Silvestri was originally going to score the movie but thank God he's was working on Back to the Future Part III at that time. Do I recommend watching this movie? Well, if you're a fan of The Jetsons, just watch it once. If you watch it again, better bring some alcohol with you. I'm sure that the Jetsons franchise still has it's dignity intact.
(The poster for The Jetsons & WWE: Robo-Wrestlemania is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, shit. There goes the Jetsons' dignity. Anyway, Jetsons: The Movie gets 2 Spacely Sprockets out of 5.
"I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and let's hope that this next movie for Animation March Madness is better than this one." Sean said.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- I love you, George.
And that's another animated film reviewed for Animation March Madness. So, what did you think of the review and what are your favorite funny moments from the review? If you remember watching Jetsons: The Movie, what did you think of it? I remember watching the movie for the first time when it was on Starz Family back around in 2003 or 2004. The movie's not good, but as a fan of Hanna-Barbera, I still have a soft spot for it. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, Animation March Madness continues as Sean heads down to the town of Springfield when he takes a look at the 2007 animated feature The Simpsons Movie and sees if the movie still holds up after 14 years. Then after The Simpsons Movie, the final movie on the list is Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. So, after I'm finished with Animation March Madness, I will be working on The Top 11 Best iCarly Episodes, followed by a review of the 1985 Burt Reynolds movie Stick or the 1991 Wolfgang Petersen thriller Shattered. Then, I will be taking a little break and I'll be working on some more naughty one-shots for Fuller House, iCarly, Victorious and American Housewife. If you have any prompts that you want to share or request a naughty one-shot from one of the shows that you want me to work on, feel free to PM me. Also, if you want to co-review The Simpsons Movie with me, feel free to PM me. I'll be happy for you to join me on this review. Make sure you leave a comment, add this story to your favorites and follow it for future updates. And I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.