The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I am bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, it's the finale of Animation March Madness and Sean is ending this celebration off with a bang. Hehe, I said "bang". Because today, Sean the Mayhem Critic is reviewing the 1996 animated feature Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. But he's not doing it alone, because he is reviewing this movie with his good buddy Lucas a.k.a. UltimateWarriorFan4Ever for this review. Get ready for a good laugh because here is the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Sit back, relax and enjoy because you'll laugh long and hard. Hehe, I said "long" and "hard".
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Beavis and Butt-Head Do America is owned by Paramount Pictures, MTV Films and Geffen Pictures.
Animation March Madness Part V
Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
We open with our favorite movie critic Sean J. Archer a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch. He is seen wearing his Cincinnati Reds baseball cap, a blue Death Rock t-shirt, denim blue jeans and white Converse sneakers. He sips his can of Blue Lemonade Sunkist before he begins his introduction.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. And we've finally reached the end of Animation March Madness…" Sean said.
(The introduction to Animation March Madness is shown while the song "One Shining Moment" by Teddy Pendergrass starts playing)
"Uh, even though it's April and I should've ended this thing in March. But then again, March Madness is still going on… I think. Eh, who the hell knows, I haven't been watching March Madness lately, I've been busy binge watching iCarly on Paramount Plus and the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon from the 80s on DVD. And I've been binge watching Coach on DVD as well, I'm on the ninth and final season, which I need to finish up. Well anyway, let's talk about…" Sean said.
(We cut to the title screen of Beavis and Butt-Head as the theme song plays while we hear Beavis and Butt-Head laughing)
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, boy. These two morons. Okay, let's talk about Beavis and Butt-Head. The two of them got their start on MTV. Yeah, it was back when MTV was MTV with music videos and The Real World and all that good stuff, not crappy stuff like Teen Mom, Jersey Shore and a bunch of other stuff. #IWantMyMTVBack. They were created by Mike Judge, who you might recognize him for some of his work like Office Space, Idiocracy, King of the Hill and Silicon Valley. And for those of you who had an awesome childhood like me, he played Donnagon Giggles in the first three Spy Kids movies. But anyway, back to Beavis and Butt-Head. In 1992, they made their first appearance in the classic short simply titled "Frog Baseball", which aired on MTV's Liquid Television. After they saw the short, MTV signed Judge to develop the short into a full series. And thus, Beavis and Butt-Head was born. The show ran from 1993 to 1997, then it's revival ran from October 27, 2011 to December 29, 2011. And yes, I am aware of the second revival coming this year.
"So yeah, that's two revivals that I'm excited for. This one and the iCarly revival, even though Jennette McCurdy won't be on the show, but she quit acting and I understand why she did that. Besides, Sam Puckett was the best part of the show and I had a little crush on Jennette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove as well. But I got a girlfriend, but it doesn't mean that I can't fantasize about Taylor getting it on with Miranda." Sean smirked naughtily.
Sean: (Narrating) So what is the basis of the show? Well, it's about Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Mike Judge, and they basically do some pretty idiotic things just because they're bored. That's about it. Just two teenagers acting like complete dumbasses, and yet I find it friggin' hilarious. Hell, they tend to cause mayhem and deem their encounters as "cool" or "sucks". Plus, they're a bunch of horny little bastards because they tend to try to score with some hot chick and they fail miserably. I also love that they tend to critique every music video like it's Mystery Science Theater 3000, check it out when you get a chance. When they talk about a certain music video, it's pretty hilarious.
"And now, Hollywood is calling for their big-screen debut. We're doomed." Sean said.
(The title screen for the movie is shown, followed by clips from the movie while the song "Ain't Nobody" performed by LL Cool J starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) Released in theaters on December 20, 1996. Yeah, during the Christmas season. Beavis and Butt-Head Do America is an animated feature film based on the hit TV show. There were previous offers by MTV to create a Beavis and Butt-Head movie, but Mike Judge rejected it until he eventually accepted one in 1994. The film went into production with Judge and the show's staff halting production on the series while Judge and Joe Stillman, who was one of the writers of the show and also on King of the Hill and The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Did I mention that he was one of the writers that worked on the movie Shrek and the Disney XD show Kirby Buckets? Man, he had some good projects that he worked on. I haven't seen a bad movie that he worked on…
(The poster for Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, God. Anyway, Judge and Stillman conceived numerous plot ideas until Judge's being the one developed into a film.
"And since I'm reviewing this movie, I'm not going to be reviewing this movie alone because…" Sean said, holding out a pause before Lucas aka UltimateWarriorFan4Ever barged through Sean's door and rushed right towards the couch. Unlike what Sean was wearing, Lucas wore what seemed to be a white Van Halen t-shirt, black shorts, white socks and black sneakers, dressing himself in a Beavis and Butt-Head style kind of way.
Once he sat down, Lucas smirked out to the camera, "I'm gonna be joining him as well. And since I'm a big Beavis and Butt-Head fan, I'd figured why the hell not. I was game for this review to begin with. I was gonna wear my AC/DC t-shirt today, but it was stained with nothing but barbecue sauce so I had to stick with a Van Halen t-shirt for now. But all mistakes around, we're gonna score big time here tonight!"
"Who knows, maybe if we're lucky tonight, we might as well do just that with Taylor." Sean smirked to Lucas before saying to the camera, "But enough about that. I'd say let's get out our nachos and headbang our asses off as we delve into the sick world that is Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. This is gonna be cool. Huhuhuhuhuh..."
Lucas then let out a chuckle before saying, "Hehehehehehe… fire fire!"
(The intro to MTV Films is shown featuring an astronaut floating right into the space, right before the astronaut's face is close up and the MTV Films logo pops in.)
Lucas (Narrating): We open up this film to a nice little view of an astronaut floating around space and it isn't long before we get a closeup of the nice MTV Films logo right in our faces. Now that looks kickass. It isn't long until…
(The opening scene then switches to a crowd running around and screaming in fear.)
"Huh, didn't know we'd be getting Godzilla vs. Kong this early." Lucas smirked out.
Sean: (Narrating) The people run away from a giant Butt-Head wrecking havoc throughout the city as the military try to put him down. But nothing can stop Butt-Head as he sees a beautiful woman screaming for her life when she sees him and he uses one of his lame pickup lines.
Butt-Head (Voiced by Mike Judge): Uhhhh… Hey baby. I'm like, pretty tall. Huh huh huh.
(A helicopter circles around his head)
Butt-Head: Dammit, I'm trying to score!
(Butt-Head swats down the helicopter, causing it to go down in flames)
"Yeah, that's how I feel when somebody tries to interrupt me and Taylor doing it." Sean nodded.
Lucas: (Narrating) However, it doesn't last long when a giant Beavis comes onto the scene and kicks a giant tank. And then…
(Beavis breathes out a ray of fire, destroying one of the tanks.)
Beavis (voiced by Mike Judge): Bunghole.
"That's also how I feel when rats invade my fucking home." Lucas replied before saying, "You know how many were dead because of me? That much, fans."
Sean (Narrating): Beavis tries to get some of the action Butt-Head is having, only to get himself smacked for his efforts. This results in an epic clash between the two misfits when all of a sudden, it ends with this…
(Beavis and Butt-Head start a shoving match that proceeds with Beavis strangling Butt-Head, only to switch to a scene where a concerned Beavis is trying to shake Butt-Head out of his sleep.)
Beavis: Butt-Head! Hey, Butt-Head! Ohhhh, no. Butt-Head! Butt-Head, wake up! Butt-Head!
(Butt-Head finally wakes up.)
Butt-Head: Dammit, Beavis. I was trying to score!
"Yeah, you can tell that to the helicopter that interrupted him in the first place." Sean replied.
Lucas: (Narrating) Beavis shows Butt-Head that the television is gone and Butt-Head becomes oblivious about it when we see two guys carrying their TV into their van, until Butt-Head anylizes the situation.
(Butt-Head looks at the broken window, at the crowbar on the floor with the muddy footprints, the empty space where the television is at, the muddy footprints and the open door)
"Dude, they just jacked you TV. I think you should go after them now." Lucas said.
Beavis: No.
(Butt-Head continues to look at the empty space, the broken window, the crowbar on the floor, the empty space, the muddy footprints on the floor and the open door once more)
Butt-Head: Uhhhh.
Beavis: No.
"Okay, how long is this idiot going to piece this altogether?" Sean asked.
(Butt-Head does this a couple of times before he finally pieces it all together)
Butt-Head: Whoa! I think I just figured something out, Beavis.
Beavis: What?
Butt-Head: This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. It really sucks.
"Really? No shit, Sherlock. You just had the one thing that you love taken away from you." Lucas said.
Butt-Head: This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took out TV.
Beavis: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
Sean: (Narrating) After all that nonsense, we then cut to the opening credits of the movie, with a 70's cop theme rendition of the Beavis and Butt-Head theme. And it's sung by none other than the one, the only Isaac Hayes. And I have to say, I love this opening so friggin' much and that little parody of 70's cop shows. After that awesome opening, we see that Beavis and Butt-Head are continuing their search for their precious TV as they head down to the hellhole that is Highland High School.
Beavis: Hey, wait a minute, where we going? I don't wanna go to school! Hehe, we gotta find our TV!
Butt-Head: Shut up, Beavis. I got an idea. Huhuhuhuh...
"Oh, are they gonna take a dump in the school?" Lucas said to Sean.
Sean then turned to Lucas and smacked him right in the face, Butt-Head style. After that he said, "Shut up, buttmunch. Let's see what they do first. Huhuhuhuh..."
Sean (Narrating): Of course, to no surprise, they decide to steal the TV for Beavis and Butt-Head to use, only to be stopped by their hippie teacher, Mr. Van Driessen.
Mr. Van Driessen (voiced by Mike Judge): Uh hey, excuse me boys. What's going on here?
Butt-Head: Uh, someone stole our TV.
Beavis: Yeah, we're just gonna use this one. Get out of the way.
(Beavis and Butt-Head try to move past Van Driessen, but Van Driessen stops him.)
Mr. Van Driessen: I'm afraid that TV belongs to the school. M'kay?
"What? Oh, come on, fartknocker! How am I supposed to spank my monkey to Richelle Ryan and Alura Jenson at my home now? Hehehehehehe…" Lucas said, imitating Beavis.
"Yeah, same here with Nikki Benz. Huhuhuhuhuhuh…" Sean said, imitating Butt-Head, "Man, you suck. Huhuhuhuhuh…"
Lucas (Narrating): So after some bullshit reasoning from Van Driessen telling them why they don't need television to entertain them, Butt-Head makes this joke.
Butt-Head: He said, "Anus." Huhuhuhuh…
Beavis: Entertain us, anus. Oh, yeah.
Mr. Van Driessen: Have you guys heard a word I've said?
Butt-Heah: Uh… yeah. Anus.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I heard it, too.
"Yeah, we've both definitely heard it. You said "Anus". Hehehehehehehe…" Lucas said, imitating Beavis.
"Yeah. Anus. Huhuhuhuh…." Sean said, imitating Butt-Head.
Sean: (Narrating) So after Van Driessen tells them to take the TV back to the AV room and all that crap about being a little open to life experiences, Beavis and Butt-Head decide to take the TV home with them. And then they do this.
Beavis: Get it over here.
(Beavis and Butt-Head lamely attempt to let it slowly down the steps)
Beavis: Wait a minute, no. No!
(The cart goes tumbling down the stairs, shattering the TV)
Butt-Head: That was cool.
Beavis: No, it wasn't!
Butt-Head: Uh…. Oh, yeah.
"Oh, nice job, you ass goblins! Thanks to you, I'm gonna miss the iCarly marathon on TeenNick. You had one job, Beavis and Butt-Head!" Sean yelled out.
Lucas: (Narrating) Their hot-tempered principal McVicker shows up and sees the broken TV and he starts to lose his shit as always when he sees Beavis and Butt-Head.
Principal McVicker (Also voiced by Mike Judge): What's going on here? Oh, no! (Sees the broken television)
Butt-Head: That belongs to the school.
Beavis: Yeah. It's supposed to be in the AV room. Wasn't our fault.
Principal McVicker: Get back here. Beavis and Butt-Head, you're both expelled!
Butt-Head: Cool.
"Don't worry, those two will be back to school just to piss you off some more. Hell, that's the reason why you can't stop shaking and why you're close to having a heart attack from these two." Lucas said.
Sean: (Narrating) Their quest to look for a TV continues when the idiotic duo comes across Tom Anderson's new camper parked in his driveway and Mr. Anderson's wife Marcy, voiced by Lisa Kathleen Collins, kindly lets them in while Mr. Anderson, who I swear is the long-lost twin of Hank Hill, is busy adjusting the trailer-hitch.
Tom Anderson (Also voiced by Mike Judge): You know, the most important thing you can have on a camper is a good butane regulator. And this here's the best one they make.
"Strickland Propane has the best propane in the world. I tell you, Marcy. They don't make better propane like that anymore." Sean said, imitating Tom Anderson.
Lucas (Narrating) With Mr. Anderson adjusting the trailer, our boys are finally enjoying their nice TV time they wanted. Well, that is, until Beavis fucks everything up.
(Beavis grabs a cola from the minifridge and drinks it, only to spit out the contents at the TV, which malfunctions and breaks it completely.)
Beavis: Augh, this crap is warm!
Butt-Head: Beavis, you butt-hole. You broke it!
Beavis: Agh, no, nooooo! Damn it!
"Serves you right, Beavis. You've should've waited until it was cool enough to drink!" Lucas said, snapping to the camera, "And you realize why I still keep my beers cool in the fridge and not lukewarm."
Sean then replied to the camera too, "Hey, Beavis. Hank Hill's got something to say to your ass."
(A clip of King of the Hill is shown featuring Hank Hill.)
Hank Hill (voiced by Mike Judge): That boy ain't right.
Lucas (Narrating): So with Mr. Anderson's TV out of the picture, the two delinquents search for another place to find a TV. Much to their luck, they find a hotel where they have color TV. Wow, that was easier than I thought.
Sean (Narrating): So they attempt to search every room they knock in, until…
(Beavis and Butt-Head open one of the hotel rooms to see Principal McVicker getting spanked by a hooker. Beavis and Butt-Head then laugh at him as Principal McVicker turns around being horrified.)
Principal McVicker: Beavis and Butt-Head, you little bastards!
Beavis: Can we watch your TV?
Principal McVicker: No! You're both expelled. Now get outta here!
We then cut to both Sean and Lucas, whose eyes are burned from their sockets after watching that disturbing scene regarding Principal McVicker and the prostitute.
"What the fuck did I just see…?" Sean muttered in surprise.
"I'm friggin' blind!" Lucas cried out in horror.
Sean then looked to the camera for a second, "Could you pardon us for a moment?"
(One hour later…)
Both Sean and Lucas are seen back to normal with their eyes looking very clear from that horrible eye-burning memory.
"Well, that felt good." Sean replied, "Who knew 100 drops of Clear Eyes did the trick after all?"
Lucas (Narrating): Well, that was goddamn painful to watch. Well, much to their luck, Beavis and Butt-Head find another room only to see it's rented out by a man named Muddy, voiced by "Mr. Die Hard" himself, Bruce Willis.
Muddy Grimes (Voiced by Bruce Willis): You're late.
Butt-Head: Really? Did we miss Baywatch?
(Muddy sees Beavis and Butt-Head in a drunken blur)
Muddy Grimes: Man, Earl said you guys were young, but, jeez. (Takes a swig of whiskey) Oh, well, as long as you can get the job done. What are your names?
Butt-Head: Uh, Butt-Head.
Beavis: Oh, I'm Beavis.
Muddy Grimes: Well, that's all right. I'd rather not know your real names, anyway.
"But Muddy, those are their real names. Jesus, how drunk are you?" Lucas asked.
"No telling how many bottles of whiskey that this man has." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Muddy offers Beavis and Butt-Head $10,000 plus expenses to "do" Muddy's wife, Dallas. But being the idiots that they are and thinking that they're going to get laid, Butt-Head convinces Beavis that they can "score" with his wife and buy a new TV.
Butt-Head: Uh, huh huh… we'll do it, sir.
Muddy Grimes: Well, all right, then. Let's get down to business. (Shows them a photo of his wife) Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. You gotta watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as you do her.
Butt-Head: (Looks at the photo of Dallas) Whoa. Cool.
Beavis: (Also looks at the photo of Dallas) Yeah.
Muddy Grimes: She's holed up in a room in Las Vegas. I got you a room right next to hers. Your flight leaves in an hour. Come on, I'll drive you to the airport.
Butt-Head: "Holed up". Huh huh huh. Hole.
Beavis: Oh, man, can we watch some TV first?
(Muddy picks up his gun and shoots the TV)
Muddy Grimes: No.
"Goddamn it, Muddy! Now how am I gonna watch episodes of Coach now? Thanks a lot, you drunken bastard." Sean said, glaring at the camera.
Lucas: (Narrating) While dropping them off to the airport, Muddy tells Beavis and Butt-Head that Dallas is carrying a leather satchel with her and he wants them to bring it back. So, now they're on their way to Las Vegas and they get on a plane, where they are seated next to a kind old lady, voiced by the late Cloris Leachman.
Old Lady on Plane and Bus (Voiced by Cloris Leachman): Are you two heading for Las Vegas?
Beavis: Yeah. We're gonna score.
Old Lady on Plane and Bus: Oh, well, I hope to score big there, myself. I'm mostly gonna be doing the slots.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. Yeah. Do they have a lot of sluts in Las Vegas?
Old Lady on Plane and Bus: Oh, there are so many slots, you won't know where to begin.
"Hey, Las Vegas is filled with "sluts". You haven't lived until you played the "slut machines" in the casinos." Lucas said.
"If you want to get laid by tons of sluts, then you two can head on down to the Moonlight BunnyRanch in Mound House, Nevada. And how do I know about that place? I've watched Cathouse: The Series on HBO. How else was I supposed to know about it?" Sean asked.
Airplane Captain (Voiced by John Dorman): Morning, this is your captain speaking. We ask you to turn your attention at this time to the front of the cabin for pre-flight safety instructions.
(One of the female flight attendants demonstrate the seatbelt)
Attendant's Voice: To fasten your seat belt, insert the free end into the coupling. If you are seated in…
Butt-Head: "Insert." Huh huh huh.
(Beavis and Butt-Head are struggling to make their seat belts fit, getting each other's parts)
Flight Attendant #2 (Voiced by Rosemary McNamara): Hi. Can I help you with that?
(Butt-Head sees the flight attendant as romantic music starts playing in the background as she reaches down his lap to insert his seat belt)
Flight Attendant #2: There you go, all set.
Butt-Head: I love you.
(Beavis and Butt-Head watch as the flight attendant walks away, then Beavis sees that the old lady is fixing his seat belt)
Beavis: Wait, hey, hey, cut it out! I want her to do it.
Butt-Head: Come to Butt-Head. Huh huh huh.
"Hey, baby. Why don't you and I join the Mile High Club? Huh huh huh huh…." Lucas said, imitating Butt-Head.
Sean: (Narrating) As the plane gets ready to take-off, Beavis starts freaking the fuck out while Butt-Head is trying to get with the flight attendant. During the flight, Beavis shows the old lady a picture of Dallas and tells her what he's going to do to her when he gets to Las Vegas. And then she pulls out some No-Drowz pills and he takes a lot as well as some candy and…
"Oh, yeah. I think we all know what's going to happen. When Beavis consumes large quantities of sugar, caffeine and other stimulants, and I think you all know what else happens." Sean said.
"And for those of you who do not know where this is going, we've gotta weed you out." Lucas said as he pulls out a Samurai sword while Sean pulls out a green lightsaber.
Flight Attendant #2: Hi. We're serving dinner now. Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo.
Beavis: Piccata. Titicaca.
Man on Plane (Voiced by Kristofor Brown): Excuse me, does the gumbo have corn in it?
(Beavis has his T-shirt pulled over his head. He's now in full Cornholio mode)
Beavis: I am Cornholio! I need piccata for my bunghole!
Flight Attendant #2: You'll have to wait your turn, sir.
Beavis: Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait! (Starts to wander down the aisle) Bungholio. Bungholio…
"Oh, man. Beavis is so goddamn funny as Cornholio. I mean, the sudden evolution of Beavis turning into Cornholio is amazing and it's the greatest highlight in the movie and in the TV show. And I'm pretty sure that during the COVID-19 pandemic, "TP for my bunghole" was the battle cry for everybody who ran out of toilet paper." Sean said.
Beavis: (Enters the cockpit) I AM CORNHOLIO!
(The pilots scream as the captain jumps up, hitting the controls which sends the plane into a nose-dive. We cut to Butt-Head, who starts to take a sip of beer, goes flying towards the front of the plane and lands on the control panel, facing the captain)
Airplane Captain: Get the hell out of the cockpit!
Butt-Head: Huh huh, you said…
Airplane Captain: (Throws Butt-Head back behind him) NOW!
"Man, it's a good thing that this movie got a PG-13 rating and that the airplane captain cut him off when he was about to say c…" Lucas said.
"Let's not finish that sentence." Sean said, interrupting Lucas.
Lucas: (Narrating) After Beavis almost causing a plane crash, the duo finally land in Las Vegas, where they are greeted by their limo driver, and Butt-Head proceeds to do this.
Butt-Head: Check this out.
(Butt-Head walks over to the limo driver and turns around to drop his pants to show him his butt)
"Are you kidding me?!" Sean yelled out, while he covered his eyes.
"And we just put in 100 drops of Clear Eyes in our eyes after watching one disturbing scene! Now, we're scarred for life from seeing Butt-Head's ass!" Lucas yelled out.
(One minute later…)
We see that Sean and Lucas are both back to normal after witnessing another eye-burning memory.
"Alright, let's never witness anything like that ever again." Sean said.
"Got it. Because I do not want to go blind from seeing anyone's ass." Lucas said.
"We do not want to end up like Hank Hill when he witnessed his mother and her boyfriend having sex on the kitchen table." Sean said.
(Beavis and Butt-Head then approach the limo driver, trying to read their own names from the sign he's holding up.)
Butt-Head: Uhh, Be… av. Beav?
Beavis: Buh, boo… boot? Someone named "Boot"?
Butt-Head: This says Beavis.
Beavis: And Boot-Head. Hehehehehe…
Butt-Head: Uhh, that's "Butt-Head". Don't you get it, Beavis? These dudes have the same name as us.
Beavis: Whoa, really? We should party. Hehehe…
"Oh, good frickin' god on a silver platter, you're Beavis and Butt-Head!" Lucas shrieked angrily to the camera, "I swear, you two make Kelly Bundy look frickin' smart!"
Sean (Narrating): We then go back to Highland where Muddy meets up with the two TV thieves we saw earlier in the movie, which results in this little confrontation.
Black-haired thief: Hey, you Muddy?
Muddy: What are you, the cops?
Black-haired thief: Uh, no. Earl sent us. You know, to take care of your wife?
Muddy: What… take of my… what the hell are you talkin' about? *grabs the thief* Wha-who are those other two clowns?
Black-haired thief: Huh?
"You know what kind of clowns I'm talking about!" Lucas said, imitating Muddy, "One that's named Krusty and the other one that looks creepy, has red hair and is holding a red balloon. Those are the ones I'm talking about!"
Lucas: (Narrating) This little mishap sends Muddy in a rage and proceeds to go to Vegas to kill Beavis, Butt-Head and his wife, but not without ramming his car backwards into the thieves's van, forcing Beavis and Butt-Head's TV to pop out from the back.
"So the premise of this entire film is basically Beavis and Butt-Head wandering all around America trying to score some chicks while trying to find their TV." Lucas muttered out, "When it's obviously simple that Beavis and Butt-Head should've chased that van down and got their TV back therefore ending the movie entirely in the first! So what's the point of having them go around the country for nothing?"
"Abso-fucking-lutely." Sean nodded before saying, "Can you honestly imagine those guys down at MTV Films trying to come out with a sensible plot for the movie? I can see it now."
(We cut back to a getaway gag in which Sean is dressed up as the president of MTV while both Lucas, Brian, Taylor and Oliver are dressed up as MTV executives. The whole scene is taking place in 1996.)
Sean (as president of MTV): Okay everyone, listen up. Mike Judge is trying to come up with a perfect plot for his upcoming Beavis and Butt-Head movie. Anybody got any ideas?
Lucas: I have one! How about Beavis and Butt-Head stop a terrorist attack from actual terrorists who are attempting to shoot up Highland High School.
Sean: Interesting. Anybody else?
Brian: I have an idea that involves Butt-Head running for President of the United States while Beavis runs for Vice President. And all political hijinks ensue!
Sean: I'm pretty sure Fox News has enough of that. *looks at Taylor* You got an idea?
Taylor: Well, I got an idea that involves Beavis and Butt-Head trying to do stupid shit like have an alligator bite their nipple off, take a scuba dive in sewage, or dress themselves in fat suits wrecking their bodies for people's enjoyment.
Sean: That sounds a bit stupid. Although I may save that idea for later on. *looks at Oliver* So what about you?
Oliver: Truth be told, I didn't think much except for the thought that has Beavis and Butt-Head wandering all around the United States of America searching for a TV, when really, all they want to actually do is score.
Sean: *gasping* That doesn't make any sense. *smirking* Perfect, I like that! Mike Judge can't say no to that idea! I'll go call him!
(The cutaway gag ends.)
"Yep, that was 1996 for you, ladies and gentleman." Sean nodded to the camera. "The year where movies hardly makes any sense, no matter how weird they are."
"Although one of those pitches actually came true." Lucas replied, "It was actually called Jackass."
Sean (Narrating): So with Beavis and Butt-Head finally arriving in Vegas, we get one hell of a catchy musical montage with Red Hot Chili Peppers doing a cover of the Ohio Players hit song, "Love Rollercoaster". And I gotta say this cover looks impressive as fuck. They absolutely did an awesome job covering this funky tune from the 70's. In fact, you pretty much put this song in every clip that has someone dancing to it. Lets try it shall we? Hit it!
(Various clips then start playing to "Love Rollercoaster" in a big montage. The clips that are playing in order include Peter Griffin doing the Surfer Bird dance on Family Guy, Liu Kang dancing as part of a Friendship in Mortal Kombat 11, Beavis and Butt-Head staring up at a golden statue that has a woman with her "globes" out, Steve Urkel doing his Urkel Dance on Family Matters, The New Day dancing alongside Stephanie McMahon and Triple H on an episode of WWE Raw, Crash Bandicoot and Coco Bandicoot doing the Crash Dance at the ending of Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled, Beavis and Butt-Head climbing up the golden statue until they fall off, Al Bundy dancing with sunglasses on an episode of Married… With Children, the cast of Total Drama Island dancing to the Thriller dance, Balki and Larry doing the Dance of Joy on an episode of Perfect Strangers, Pinkie Pie dancing dressed up as a rapper on an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and ends with Beavis and ButtHead dancing to the song while the camera spins around in circles.)
"Ok, I totally gotta download that song on my phone now." Sean smirked in delight, "That cover totally sold me."
Lucas (Narrating): The joy doesn't last long for Beavis and Butt-Head though as they are escorted away by a group of agents, and right inside a comfy hotel room where Beavis is stuck having to get the remote off a nightstand.
(Beavis is shown trying to pry the remote off the nightstand.)
Beavis: Damn it. This thing's stuck.
Hotelier (Voiced by Toby Huss): Sir, it's attached to the…
Butt-Head: You dumbass, let me try.
(Butt-Head then walks over to Beavis and helps him attempt to pry the remote themselves. Beavis then looks at the hotelier.)
Beavis: Hey, check it out, that guy's still standing there.
(The hotelier clears his throat.)
Butt-Head: *to the Hotelier* Uh, could you like, not stand there and stuff?
"That's what I usually say to a dude who watches me take a crap whenever I have to go to the bathroom." Lucas replied to the camera, "You know how I like my privacy."
Sean (Narrating): Beavis and Butt-Head soon hear some strange noises coming from the next door, only for a hot-looking woman to pull them out of their room and right into the bed with a gun in her hand. It turns out this woman with a gun is none other than Muddy's ex-wife Dallas, voiced by Bruce Willis's ex, Demi Moore.
(Dallas opens the door before pulling Beavis and Butt-Head right into a bed and draws her gun at them.)
Dallas Grimes (voiced by Demi Moore): All right, who are you? CIA? FBI? ATF?
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head! It's her!
Butt-Head: Whoa…
Beavis: Yeah. Hehehe…
Butt-Head: Hey, baby. Are we like, gonna do it?
Dallas Grimes: You got two seconds.
Butt-Head: Uh… is that gonna be enough time?
"What the? Two seconds?! Damn, I last longer than that when I'm in the bedroom with Taylor. Mostly because it's Brazzers-style sex that we've been having." Sean smirked.
Dallas Grimes: (Grabs Butt-Head by his shirt) Who sent you?
Butt-Head: This drunk dude. He said he was gonna pay us to do you.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah.
Dallas Grimes: Muddy. Son of a bitch. (Lets Butt-Head go) Hold it. What's he paying you?
Butt-Head: Uh… ten…
Dallas Grimes: Ten grand? Oh, that cheap ass. All right, I got a better deal for you. I'll double it. I'll pay you 20 if you go back there and do him.
Butt-Head: Uh… you want us to do a guy? No way.
Beavis: I don't know, Butt-Head. That is a lot of money. Maybe if we close our eyes and pretend he's a chick.
(Butt-Head smacks Beavis in the face)
"Oh, Christ. That's one image that I do not want to see and have it burned in my memory." Lucas said.
"Uh, Lucas." Sean said.
"What is it?" Lucas asked.
Sean points directly at the camera as Lucas turns to look at it. Then, we cut to a photo from 2018 where we see Bruce Willis and his friend Stephen J. Eads dressed as the creepy twin girls from the 1980 movie The Shining at a Halloween party.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Goddamn it, Bruce!" Lucas yelled out. "Why did you have to show me that, Sean?! Now, it's gonna be burned in memory!"
Lucas: (Narrating) But then the police and A.T.F. arrive, forcing Beavis and Butt-Head to wait at bedside while Dallas immediately thinks up a plan involving their next destination. Beavis and Butt-Head strip off to their undies - don't know why I want to see that - and fight who gets to score with Dallas herself. While that's happening though, she decides to hijack Beavis's shorts and insert what seems to be a biological virus in the butt region. Definitely hoping it ain't no T-Virus or Coronavirus or any of that shit, because thank goodness that never existed.
Dallas Grimes: Don't wear yourselves out, boys. Save some energy for me.
(Dallas unbuttons her shirt partially)
"Oh, damn. Look at the knockers on Dallas." Sean smirked. "I would definitely have some fun with her… but I want Taylor to join in on the fun as well."
"Boing… oing… oing… oing… oing… oing! She's giving me a stiffy!" Lucas said, imitating Beavis.
Lucas (Narrating): Yep, they're finally gonna do it after five long years of trying to score chicks. Yet they still manage to laugh it up like their usual selves, forcing Dallas to grab their attention.
Dallas Grimes: Boys?
(Beavis and Butt-Head still laugh.)
Dallas Grimes: Boys…?
(Beavis and Butt-Head still continue to laugh, which annoys Dallas.)
Dallas Grimes: BOYS!
(Beavis and Butt-Head finally stop laughing.)
Dallas Grimes: First, you have to do a little job for me. *caresses Butt-Head's cheek* Would you like to do a little job for me?
"Ma'am, I would literally kick Jake Paul's ass for a Klondike Bar for you all the way." Lucas replied, rubbing his hands very excitingly.
Sean (Narrating): Well, they unfortunately don't score though as Dallas informs our two morons to take a bus over to Washington D.C. where she tells them she'll be waiting for both Beavis and Butt-Head when they get there. That way, they can make a whole lot of money and Dallas will give them a whole lot of everything. Well damn, that'd be a suicide mission worth taking if they're gonna get laid. They immediately take their leave and get back on the bus where they meet up with the kind old lady again.
Old Lady: Oh, it's you two. How did you do in Las Vegas?
Beavis: We didn't score yet.
Old Lady: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Me. I took a beating!
Butt-Head: Cool.
"Yikes, I can only hope you're talking about the slots…" Sean shivered nervously.
Old Lady: So, that's why I'm bussing across America. I'm so glad you're here. *to Jim* Jim, Jim, I want you to meet two nice boys.
Jim: Oh… ohh…
Old Lady: This is Travis and Bob. *to Butt-Head* And what's your last name, dear?
Butt-Head: Uhhhhh, Head. Huhuhuhuh. My first name's "Butt".
"Bob Butt-Head?" Lucas said, raising an eyebrow, "Doesn't really ring a bell. It's like changing my last name to Hackett to Bighead. But then, I'd be calling myself Lucas Bighead, like I'm related to Ed and Bev from Rocko's Modern Life. That's fucking silly."
Sean (Narrating): So with Beavis and Butt-Head out of here, Dallas gets a little visit from Agent Fleming himself, voiced by none other than the late great host of Unsolved Mysteries, Robert Stack. And I gotta say, his voice is just picture perfect for this role.
Agent Flemming (Voiced by Robert Stack): So, are you gonna tell us where it is, or am I gonna have to have Agent Hurly over there give you another cavity search?
(The camera cuts to Agent Hurly, who's a tough, stocky woman)
Dallas Grimes: Ooh, it that a promise?
Agent Flemming: Look, Mrs. Scum, we know who you are. Tell her, Bork.
Agent Bork (Voiced by Greg Kinnear): Dallas Grimes, married to Muddy Grimes. You run a mom-and-pop arms smuggling ring.
(He tosses her some photos of her and Muddy as Dallas picks up one of the photos)
Dallas Grimes: Oh, you got my bad side.
"Let's not forget her most heinous crime of all time… starring in the movie Striptease!" Sean yelled out as the poster for the movie Striptease is shown. "Please tell me that it's not the movie that I'm gonna review next? It sucks ass like a certain Paul Verhoeven movie. What's it called again? It stars the chick from Saved by the Bell and Gina Gershon?"
"Showgirls?" Lucas asked.
"Oh, dear. Yeah, that's one movie to review and rant about for a future review. I'm gonna need tons of alcohol for this." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) Agent Flemming tells Dallas that she stole the X-5 unit from an army research facility in Hadley, Nevada. But Flemming and his partner Agent Bork, voiced by Greg Kinnear, could only legally hold her for a short time, so they let her go.
Agent Flemming: (Slams his fist down) Where's that damn unit?
(We cut to the tour bus arriving at the Hoover Dam)
Butt-Head: We're in Washington.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna score now.
Old Lady: Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: No, no. We're in Washington!
Butt-Head: Yeah. We're gonna score now!
"Um, does it look like you're in Washington? Unless you bump into Clark Griswold and his family and you're at the Hoover Dam… YOU'RE STILL IN NEVADA, YOU BUTT-RASH!" Sean yelled out.
"Yeah, what my friend just said." Lucas said.
Hoover Dam Guide (Voiced by Tim Guinee): Over 40,000 tons of concrete were used in the construction of the Hoover Dam. From top to bottom, the dam is 51 stories.
Beavis: That's something.
Hoover Dam Guide: It has a maximum capacity for generating 2.074 megawatts of electricity.
Beavis: Wow. Really?
Hoover Dam Guide: But on the average, it generates about 25% of that.
Beavis: I'll be damned.
Hoover Dam Guide: Now, can anybody tell me how much energy it takes to power Las Vegas?
Beavis: Um yeah. I just have a question. Um. Is this a God dam? You know, God damn. You know?
"Okay, that joke was pretty dam funny." Sean laughed.
Sean: (Narrating) The two of them enter the Hoover Dam control room as they start to mess around with the controls and Beavis scratching his butt all over the controls, which causes the system to go out of control and destroying the Hoover Dam. Then, we cut to Tom Anderson and his wife just enjoying the outdoors.
Tom Anderson: You know, I'll tell you what. It doesn't get any better than this. This here is God's country. Unspoiled… (Turns around and sees a wall of water heading for them) Aaaaghhh!...
(Mr. Anderson and his wife are smashed by the flood)
"Uh, shouldn't Mr. Anderson go "Bwah!" after seeing that wall of water heading right towards him?" Lucas asked. "In fact, let's replace Mr. Anderson's scream with Hank Hill's scream for this scene."
Tom Anderson: (With Hank Hill's voice) BWAH!
(Butt-Head rips out the controls to the console)
Butt-Head: I think I found the remote.
(The power goes out. We then cut to a shot of the Hoover Dam as we see the power going out before cutting to the ATF building. Agent Flemming is examining a photo of Beavis and Butt-Head until the power goes out)
Agent Flemming: What the hell's going on?
(We then cut to Las Vegas as we see the power going out as well)
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(We see Sean, who's playing a tourist in Las Vegas, sitting in his hotel room watching a pornographic movie in his room)
Sean: Okay. Now we're talking. Jenna Jameson, here I co…
(The power shuts off)
Sean: (Yells) NOOOOOOOOO!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Lucas: (Narrating) After destroying the Hoover Dam, Beavis and Butt-Head leave the area. Meanwhile, Agent Flemming and Agent Bork examine the footage of Beavis and Butt-Head in the dam's control room. And then we learn what the X-5 unit is.
Agent Bork: The X-5 unit is a new top-secret biological weapon, a man-made virus, the deadliest known to man. It could wipe out five states in five days. Here's what happened when it was tested on a group of army recruits.
(We cut to footage of the army recruits who are vomiting, rolling around in pain in stretchers and dying)
Agent Bork: Look at these guys, Chief. This thing is a veritable doomsday device.
"Jesus. The most deadly biological weapon, much deadlier than the Coronavirus." Sean said.
Agent Bork: It gets worse. The unit wasn't finished. It has a flaw, the casing. If hit hard enough it could break open, releasing the virus.
Agent Flemming: Okay, people, as of right now, these are the most dangerous men in America. (Holds up a photo of Beavis and Butt-Head) I want these faces in front of every Fed and two-bit Sheriff within 1,000 miles. The orders are dead or alive.
"Wait, Beavis and Butt-Head being the two most dangerous men in America. Don't be ridiculous." Lucas said, imitating Balki from Perfect Strangers.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we cut to a montage of Beavis and Butt-Head on a tour bus going from state to state while the ATF are tracking them down while "Gone Shootin'" by AC/DC starts playing throughout the montage. After that montage, they arrive at Yellowstone Park to look at the "Old Faithful" geyser, but Beavis and Butt-Head get bored and start to play around with the urinals in the restrooms. That is until the park ranger recognizes them from the photo and calls in Agent Flemming to go after them.
Lucas: (Narrating) Back with Beavis and Butt-Head, they stop playing around with the urinals and hop aboard on the tour bus.
Butt-Head: Uh… is this the right bus?
(Beavis and Butt-Head see that they're on a bus filled with nuns)
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis, we're on a bus with chicks. Hey, baby.
"Holy, holy, holy shit. You idiots do realize that they're nuns, right?" Sean asked. "They've taken a vow of chastity, which means that they cannot get married or have sexual/romantic relationships. Same with priests but I'll get to that when I review the movie Last Rites."
Sean: (Narrating) While the ATF stop the tour bus with the elderly people and giving them a full cavity search… ew. We see the tour bus that Beavis and Butt-Head are on driving past them and we get another montage set to the tune of Rancid's "I Wanna Riot" where Beavis is busy reading a bible that one of the nuns are showing him.
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, this book kicks ass. There's this talking snake, and a naked chick, and this dude puts a leaf on his schlong.
Butt-Head: Cool. Huhuhuhuh…
"Ah, yes. The tale of Adam & Eve. The only Adam & Eve that they have on their minds is the production company that produces pornographic movies." Sean said.
"And not to mention that sweet ass store that sells those movies," Lucas smirked out, "That's like the Wal-Mart of porn."
Lucas: (Narrating) So after they fail at doing the Hail Mary that results in Beavis getting the crap smacked out of him, and praying the wrong way before dinnertime, the two make their way down at New Mexico where they stumble inside a church out of all places. Let's hope Kirk Cameron and his COVID carolers aren't inside there.
(Both Beavis and Butt-Head then look at the confessionals.)
Beavis: Check it out, Butt-Head. Port-a-potty.
Butt-Head: Cool. Huhuhuhuh. I gotta take a dump.
(Beavis and Butt-Head enter inside the confessional/)
Butt-Head: Uhhhh… where's the toilet?
"Seriously, if you don't know the difference between a confessional and a port-a-potty, then may God have mercy on your souls." Lucas replied to the camera.
Sean (Narrating) Then we get to one of the funniest scenes in the movie as we see some of the churchgoers enter the confessionals that Beavis and Butt-Head are in, and this results in this little scene.
Man in Confession Booth #1 (Voiced by Sam Johnson): Forgive me, Father. I've sinned. I, uh… I slept with a woman, and…
Butt-Head: Really? Was she naked? Huhuhuhuh…
Man in Confession Booth #1: Well, yes, Father. Please forgive me, I…
Butt-Head: Cool. Could you, like, see her boobs?
"If yes, did you know which size they were? Huhuhuhuhuhuh…" Sean smirked, imitating Butt-Head.
Man in Confession Booth #2 (Also voiced by Kristofer Brown): Uh, I'm sorry. Uh, how many Hail Mary's?
Beavis: 1,000! And I want you to hit yourself. Right now! Hehe…
Man in Confession Booth #2: Uhh, Now?
Beavis: Yeah, do it! Hehehe…
Man in Confession Booth #2: (hits himself) Ow.
Beavis: Harder!
Man in Confession Booth #2: (hits himself again) Ow!
Beavis: Do it again!
Man in Confession Booth #2: (hits himself again) OWW!
"Thanks a lot boys, you just doomed two people straight to Hell." Lucas replied, "Way to do the big man's work, you two."
(Beavis and Butt-Head make their way to board the bus, until the two of them are struck by a random, inexplicably bolt of lighting)
"Well, what do you know. God is pissed off at you two for your unholy shenanigans." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) After the two of them get struck by lighting, they arrive at the Petrified Forest to look at the petrified wood, until the nuns ditch them. Smart move there, ladies. Then, they ask a civilian where Washington is and he tells them that Washington is about 2,000 miles towards his general direction. So, the two of them decide to walk in the hot desert. Meanwhile, the ATF are hot on their trail.
Agent Flemming: I don't suppose you tried to stop them?
Petrified Forest Ranger (Also voiced by Sam Johnson): The most dangerous guys in America? No, thank you. I make $9.00 an hour.
Agent Flemming: National security is the responsibility of every American. Bork.
Agent Bork: Cavity search?
Agent Flemming: Deep and hard.
"That's how Taylor likes it in the bedroom. She likes it deep and hard like Abigail Mac in a Brazzers video." Sean smirked naughtily.
Sean: (Narrating) As Beavis and Butt-Head continue to walk the hot desert by themselves, we see Mr. and Mrs. Anderson bring pulled over by the ATF while they're being shown a picture of the two buffoons themselves.
(Mr. Anderson pulls his SUV towards an ATF agent.)
Tom Anderson: Something wrong, officer?
ATF Agent: *shows Mr. Anderson a picture of Beavis and Butt-Head* Sir, we're looking for these two fugitives.
Tom Anderson: Well, I'll be danged. That's them two boys that's been whacking in my camper.
"Not to mention they put my dog inside a washing machine, wrecked my yard, messed around with my chainsaws, and took in a foreign exchange student to give me war flashbacks." Lucas replied, imitating Mr. Anderson, "Did I forget to tell you my voice sounds like Hank Hill, officer?"
Lucas (Narrating): This little conversation forces the entire squad to practically raid Mr. Anderson's camper, wrecking everything in sight. Meanwhile, Bork manages to show Agent Fleming a picture of Cornholio, which looks pretty damn drawn on. Whoever drew that should get props.
Bork: Chief, just came in. Two days ago, Express Airways added a disturbance by someone calling himself, "Cornholio". *shows Agent Fleming a picture of Cornholio* Guess who matches the description?
Agent Fleming: *adjusts his glasses* Finally, a real break. Give me that flight point of origin. We're gonna kick some ass.
Sean (Narrating): As the ATF goes on a little manhunt for the two boys themselves, Beavis and Butt-Head continue to walk into the desert some more until they approach two men who look exactly like them.
(The guys who look exactly like Beavis and Butt-Head are busy starting a fire with their matches before one of them turns to Beavis and Butt-Head themselves.)
Butt-Head's (possible) Dad (voiced by David Letterman): Uh, hey. One of you bastards got a match?
Butt-Head: Uhh, yeah. My butt and your… butt.
(The four men continue to laugh at the same time.)
"Oh yeah, I totally forgot that one of them is voiced by David Letterman as well." Sean nodded out, "Imagine putting that in a 'Top 10 Things You Never Knew About David Letterman' list.
Lucas (Narrating): Anyway, we then go right back to Highland High School where their hippie teacher Mr. Van Driessen is about to bore everyone to death with a folk song he wrote himself. I can tell this is gonna be painful to hear.
"In fact, how many of you watching at home want to bet this ends bad?" Sean said, asking to the camera.
Lucas shrugged before asking, "Well, I can think of the last time he sang…"
(A clip of Beavis and Butt-Head plays showing Mr. Van Driessen being thrown from the school bus and falls off the clip screaming while his bones are being broken on the way down.)
"Touch a mountain?" Sean raised his eyebrow before smirking, "More like 'Fall Off a Mountain'! That's what his hippie ass gets!"
Mr. Van Driessen: And here's a song that might help you cope with some of those feelings, mmm'kay? It's called "Lesbian Seagull".
(Mr. Van Driessen strums his guitar, starting the song.)
Mr. Van Driessen: *singing* She flies so gracefully, through rocks, trees and sand…
(The scene switches over to ATF agents driving to Highland where they soon raid Beavis and Butt-Head's entire house.)
Mr. Van Driessen: *singing* Soaring over cliffs, and gently flowing down command...
"Yeah, Dan Fogelberg this guy ain't." Sean shook his head negatively.
"No wonder he's rolling in his grave hearing this." Lucas shook his head as well.
Lucas: (Narrating) Thankfully, his song doesn't last long though as ATF and Agent Fleming barges in his little festivities, and begins to question him about Beavis and Butt-Head themselves.
Mr. Van Driessen: Uh, what's going on here?
Agent Fleming: I'll ask the questions. *shows Mr. Van Driessen a picture of Beavis and Butt-Head* Are these your students?
Mr. Van Driessen: I assume you're a government agent. I would think you would know there are something in this country called "due process", mmm'kay?
"Uh, dude. He literally asked you a question about Beavis and Butt-Head." Lucas rolled his eyes to the camera, "That was really fucking simple, Van Driessen."
"Now I honestly wish he died falling off that mountain in the first place." Sean replied.
Agent Flemming: That's about the kind of talk I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. Take this scum away.
Mr. Van Driessen: I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights. Now, if…
(An agent interrupts, hitting Van Driessen in the gut with his gun)
"Yeah, that's the ATF's translation for "Fuck your rights, you hippie fuck!" Let's see that again." Sean said.
(We cut to the ATF agent hitting Van Driessen in the gut with his gun once more)
"Ah, that's the most satisfying part in the movie. I could watch that over and over again." Sean said.
"True story, he actually got his ribs broken in one sitting." Lucas said to Sean, "Tender than a juicy rib. Hmmmm, feeling hungry for ribs right now. Might get some after the review."
Lucas (Narrating): With Mr. Van Driessen thankfully not coming back for the rest of the film, we get a little information from Bork himself.
Bork: Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?
Agent Flemming: Bork. You're a federal agent. You represent the United States Government. Never end a sentence with a preposition.
Bork: Oh, uh… you know that guy in whose camper they… I mean, that guy off in whose camper they were whacking.
"Yikes, you can't possibly tell if it was murder or masturbation-related." Lucas shrugged off.
Sean (Narrating) We soon find out from Bork that the guys Beavis and Butt-Head met are actually roadies for Motley Crue, who could turn out to be their possible dads. If that hardcore, I don't know what is. Back at the desert though, Butt-Head's possible dad tells a true story to our two morons that deserves to be on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
Butt-Head's possible dad: About 15 years ago, we stopped in this toilet uh… called Highland.
Butt-Head: Really? That's what we're from.
Butt-Head's possible dad: Well, then you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, here's a story: I scored with these two chicks. True story.
Beavis's possible dad: Hehehehe. Yeah, me too.
Butt-Head: You scored with two chicks?
Butt-Head's possible chicks: Yeah. They were sluts.
"With knockers so big and asses so round they could leave you hungry for more. Huhuhuhuh..." Sean nodded, imitating Butt-Head's dad, "And not to mention that was the moment you were born. Huhuhuhuhuh…"
"BO-OI-OI-OI-OI-OI-OING!" Lucas chuckled while imitating Beavis.
(The four men continue to laugh before Butt-Head's dad overhears Beavis's dad laughing beside him. Butt-Head's dad then whacks Beavis's dad right in the face.)
Beavis's dad: AGH!
Butt-Head dad: *to Beavis's Dad* Shut up, Dumbass! You didn't score! I scored with both of them!
"Well, if you scored with both of them, shouldn't your children look like Butt-Head if that's the case?" Sean said, questioning to the camera.
"Yeah, and now it makes us want to unsolve a mystery of how Beavis was born then." Lucas nodded out, "I can possibly see that turn into a future Unsolved Mysteries episode. I wonder how it would turn out?"
(We play a clip of the opening to Unsolved Mysteries that transitions to pictures of Beavis and Butt-Head and their possible fathers.)
Sean (Narrating): *imitating Robert Stack* Tonight, on Unsolved Mysteries, the story of two Motley Crue roadies, one who looks like Beavis and Butt-Head, drive into Highland where one of them bangs two broads that results in the births of Beavis and Butt-Head themselves. The problem is, how did one of them look like Beavis when those babies are supposed to look like Butt-Head? Plus, we've also examined a case why Daria left Highland in the first place in order to star in her own show Mike Judge created on to put on MTV. And also, are Tom Anderson and Hank Hill actually related? Perhaps you can solve the case.
Butt-Head's Possible Dad: Hey, you want to see something really cool?
(Butt-Head's possible father gets up, turns his butt towards the fire and starts to drop his pants. The scene then cuts to the campfire in the distance out in the middle of nowhere, a flatulent sound is heard. Then all of a sudden, a big fireball erupts as they all start laughing)
Beavis: Fire!
"Holy shit. Well, now we know what caused that nuclear explosion from Terminator 2, it's because of this moron's deadly farts." Sean said.
(We then cut to a clip from Terminator 2: Judgment Day, featuring the scene where Sarah Connor is having a nightmare about the nuclear explosion, we hear the flatulent sound coming from Butt-Head's possible dad right when the nuclear explosion starts wiping everyone out)
"Great job, dude. You've just started Judgment Day with your farts. I knew that Sarah Connor shouldn't have blamed Skynet for this mess. She should blame this guy!" Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) The next morning, Beavis and Butt-Head wake up to find their possible fathers have left them behind, so the two of them start walking through the desert in the scorching sun until they end up exhausted that they end up crawling through the desert. Then, Beavis comes across a peyote cactus after slapping a vulture away from him.
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, isn't there supposed to be, like, water in cactuses?
"Uh, Beavis, I don't think that you should be eating that." Lucas said.
(Beavis takes a bite out of the peyote cactus, chews and then coughs)
"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine." Sean said.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis, check it out.
(Beavis and Butt-Head see two vultures humping right in front of them)
"Excuse me for a second." Sean said as he gets up from off of the couch and leaves the room. Then all of a sudden, the sound of the young critic vomiting is heard. After he finished vomiting, Sean returns to the room and sat back down on the couch while drinking a bottle of Pepsi Blue. "Sorry, I got disgusted from the sight of two vultures having sex. I think I'm gonna need to watch some Brazzers porn to clear my mind from that scene. And I mean a lot of Brazzers porn."
Sean: (Narrating) And then we come to the famous scene of the movie and this is one of the biggest trip-out moments ever when Beavis starts hallucinating after eating the cactus, and what follows is…
(The Hallucination scene starts while the song "Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks and Cannibal Girls" by White Zombie start playing in the background)
"Whoa! Either somebody slipped something in my Pepsi Blue or we're watching the best damn hallucination sequence ever." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) I'm not kidding, this is the best part of the movie. I know that Beavis and Butt-Head weren't big in the artistic department, but when Mike Judge hired Rob Zombie, he was tasked with animating this famous scene and the rest is history. I can see why the Nostalgia Critic added this moment in his "Top 11 Mindfucks" video. I mean, look at this: you have a bunch of crazy stuff happening like monsters playing guitars, TVs morphing into creatures, Butt-Head melting into little demon Butt-Heads and Beavis tripping balls. This is like one big music video.
"I mean, just imagine seeing this while it was in theaters at that time. Man, talk about one hell of an experience." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) So after that little bizarre hallucination trip, we cut to the next morning as Beavis and Butt-Head are asleep, until they are awoken by an armed Muddy, who's about to go all "Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker" on their asses.
Muddy Grimes: Any last words before I kill you?
Butt-Head: Uh, huhuhuhuhuh, I have a couple. Butt cheeks.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. And boobs. I just wanna say that again. Boobs.
Muddy Grimes: I'm gonna blow you both to hell, that's what I'm gonna do!
Sean immediately spits out his soda while a shocked look appears on Lucas' face.
"What the hell, Muddy?! You are one sick bastard wanting to blow both Beavis and Butt-Head." Lucas said.
"I know. He should be ashamed of himself." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But before he could kill them Beavis and Butt-Head reveals to Muddy that they're going to meet Dallas in Washington and "do" her. Muddy realizes that he might need them, so he locks them both in the trunk and drive them to Washington all while the song "Walk on Water" performed by Ozzy Osbourne is playing. As they arrive in Washington, we get this little moment.
Butt-Head: (In the trunk while playing with the jack) Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.
"Oh, God. Please, I do not want the image of Butt-Head jacking off in front of Beavis in my mind. Oh, God. Let me think of something else. Maybe I'll clear my mind by writing a dirty iCarly one-shot featuring Carly Shay and Sam Puckett. Yeah, maybe I'll do that." Sean said, while picking up his laptop to start typing.
Lucas: (Narrating) They pop the trunk open with the jack, which results in Butt-Head being an ass goblin by pushing Beavis out of the trunk and onto the freeway and causes an accident.
Butt-Head: That was cool.
(Muddy drives over a pothole, which causes Butt-Head to hang on to the trunk of the car and fall onto the freeway and roll uncontrollably past some speeding cars, causing them to crash into each other)
"Well, there we go. We've just witnessed Beavis and Butt-Head being the reason why accidents occur on the freeway… and murder a bunch of people." Lucas said.
Tom Anderson: Boy, what I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with them two little bastards…
(Butt-Head lands on the windshield of Mr. Anderson's truck and rolls off as Mr. Anderson screams and crashes into another car while two other cars crash into the pileup)
"And what do you know, Mr. Anderson and his wife are killed in the accident." Sean said.
"Not to mention fat Kurt Russell driving out of the accident not giving a shit." Lucas replied, referring to Muddy.
Lucas (Narrating) It isn't too long before the ATF suddenly catch Beavis and Butt-Head on live TV, forcing them to investigate their location on where they're heading.
News Reporter: In other news, GPAC is set to begin at 2 p.m. tomorrow, when representatives from around the world…
Agent Flemming: What the hell…?
(Agent Flemming looks right at the TV showing a picture of the Washington D.C. capital building before looking right at the map.)
Agent Flemming: Bork, that bus we picked up? Where was it heading?
Bork: *looks into his clipboard* Uh, D.C. chief.
Agent Flemming: Jesus jumped up… Bork, can you imagine what would happen if they set that thing off at our nation's capital? Or even worse, if they sold it to some damn foreigner at that conference? Well, it's not gonna happen!
(Agent Flemming pounds his fist on the table.)
Sean and Lucas immediately back away from this scene out of defense, forcing Sean to say, "Whoa, relax dude. Get a Snickers. You're not you when you're hungry."
Lucas then nodded to the camera before saying, "Besides, we already had one bad thing happening in DC.. It was called President Trump."
Sean (Narrating): With Beavis and Butt-Head walking away unscathed from the traffic accident, they're soon reunited with the old lady down at the bus, which offers them a trip to good ol' Washington DC.
Beavis: Isn't Seattle in Washington?
Butt-Head: Uhh, yep. It sure is.
Beavis: Cool. Cause I was thinking after we score, maybe we can go see Hole.
Butt-Head: Uhuhuhuh. "Hole".
" Maybe over there, we can go visit Courtney Love's house where Kurt Cobain got shot two years ago. Hehehehe…" Lucas smirked, imitating Beavis.
"Yeah, that would be cool. Huhuhuh…" Sean said, imitating Butt-Head.
Lucas (Narrating): It isn't long before Beavis and Butt-Head finally make it to DC, where they stop and take in all of the scenery.
(Clips of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument and the Capitol Building are shown in order while the busgoers are busy taking pictures.)
Sean (Narrating): Ah, there we go. The Lincoln Memorial. That's classy. The Washington Monument. Looking spectacular. D.C.'s Capitol Building. Feeling-
(The scene switches to Beavis and Butt-Head mooning at the Capitol Building.)
"OH MY GOD!" Sean shrieked out, burning his eyes.
"OH SHIT, MY EYES!" Lucas screamed out as well, trying to cover his eyes in pain before shouting, "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"
(An hour later.)
Both Sean and Lucas are shown once again, only this time their eyes have been completely bloodshot not just from the eye-burning of that uncomfortable scene, but bloodshot due to the amount of Clear Eyes they took in response, possibly 500 shots of drops.
"OK, NO MORE ASS SHOWING FOR ONE DAY!" Sean screamed angrily before shouting, "UNLESS IF IT'S LUSCIOUS LOPEZ DOING A MONEY SHOT, I'M FINE WITH THAT!"
Lucas: (Narrating) Dallas arrives in Washington to meet the two Capitol Building-mooning morons to pick up the weapon, until Muddy arrives to settle the score with her.
Muddy Grimes: Well, well. Look at this. The love of my life. (Coughs) Where have you been?
Dallas Grimes: Honey, I was gonna split it with you after I sold it. Right down the middle, I swear. I just…
Muddy Grimes: Sure you were. But now you don't have to go to all that bother, do you?
Dallas Grimes: (Moves seductively towards Muddy) Come on, Muddy. What do you say we just forget about it and go get a room like old times?
Muddy Grimes: (Points his gun at Dallas) I don't think so. Where is it?
"What do you want, Muddy? Do you want the horrible movies that she made or pictures of her in General Hospital?" Lucas asked as a picture of Demi Moore as Jackie Templeton in General Hospital is shown followed by movie posters of The Scarlet Letter, The Juror and G.I. Jane were shown.
Sean: (Narrating) Back with Beavis and Butt-Head, they arrive at the Capitol Building and they announce on the PA system that they're ready to score while all of the Senators are in the room.
Butt-Head: (Over the PA system) Attention. Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.
Beavis: (Over the PA system) Yeah, yeah. We are ready to do you now.
(Beavis and Butt-Head laugh while all of the senators laugh in the room)
"Okay, for Beavis and Butt-Head getting laid by the chick with the big boobs, say "I"." Sean said.
"Hell, yeah!" Lucas said, raising his hand.
"All oppose?" Sean asked.
Senator: Nay!
Sean immediately picks up a grenade and pulls the pin before throwing it off-screen until it explodes.
Senator: (Weakly) Nay.
(The senator drops to the floor)
The "I's" have it." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) Back with Muddy and Dallas, we see that Muddy has tied up Dallas and moves to the trunk to grab Beavis and Butt-Head until he sees that they're not in the trunk and he starts raging.
Muddy Grimes: Damn! Damn! I am gonna kill them!
Dallas Grimes: No, honey. We're gonna kill them.
(Dallas, still tied up, starts kissing Muddy. Muddy gives in and starts kissing Dallas back)
"Well… damn. That's one way of getting back with the person who's trying to kill you. Just start kissing them by changing their mind so you can kill the people who stole from you." Lucas said.
"Right, so how long until these two start boffing each other's brains out?" Sean asked while he looks at his watch.
(The words "One Minute Later" is shown)
Narrator: One minute later…
(We cut to Dallas and Muddy in the back seat of Muddy's car having sex. The two of them are humping away, in a PG-13 kind of way)
"And you two end up fucking in the back seat of Muddy's car in a parking garage. And that looks too hot for a PG-13-rating." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But their sexy time is interrupted when Agent Flemming and the other ATF agents catches the two of them in the act.
Agent Flemming; Well, look what we have here. You two make me sick. Book them, Bork.
Dallas Grimes: You don't have anything on us and you know it.
Agent Flemming: Oh, I don't, huh? How about lewd conduct? Maybe indecent exposure.
"Uh, Agent Flemming. Let's not forget the list of horrible crimes that they've committed. For starring in Hudson Hawk and Striptease. Two horrible movies that they've made. They should be arrested for that. But then again, the two of them both starred in the movie Mortal Thoughts together and Bruce played Glenne Headly's abusive, drug-addicted husband with a goofy devil beard and a bad New Jersey accent. Okay, those two were in that movie together and it was released the same year as Hudson Hawk, arrest them!" Sean yelled out.
Agent Flemming: One of you is going to make a deal and get me the unit. The other can spend the next 60 years in jail.
Muddy Grimes: (Chuckles) That's where you're wrong, boy. Me and my wife are back together, and you will never…
Dallas Grimes: He stole the unit. He said he put it in some kid's pants.
Muddy Grimes: Why, you damn little four-legged… (Gets cuffed and dragged away) Hey, take it easy! I'm gonna rip your…
"And that ladies and gentlemen is how Bruce Willis and Demi Moore split." Lucas said.
Lucas: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Beavis and Butt-Head head back on the tour bus to go to their next destination, which is the White House. But Beavis gets disappointed that they never met Dallas and never gotten any action. Butt-Head tries to calm him down, but then Beavis makes his speech about not scoring with a hot chick.
Beavis: Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled… 100 miles, 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!
Tour Bus Driver (Voiced by Richard Linklater): Hey, buddy, sit down.
Beavis: Shut up, ass-wipe!
"Yeah, dude. Don't interrupt Beavis. The poor guy needs to finish his speech." Sean said.
Beavis: I'm sick and tired of this. We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen. We're just gonna get old like these people, but they've probably scored.
Tour Bus Driver: Hey, I'm warning you. Sit down!
"Hey, shut the fuck up, you ass goblin! Let the man speak!" Lucas yelled out.
"Yeah. Don't you have a sequel to Before Sunrise that you should be working on or a Bad News Bears remake that you should be working on?" Sean asked, referring to director Richard Linklater's films.
Beavis: It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy, he's old, but he's probably scored a million times.
Old Guy (Also voiced by Kristofer Brown): Oh, yeah.
Beavis: But not us. You know, we're never gonna score. WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE!
Tour Bus Driver: All right, that's it, numbnuts!
(The bus driver tackles Beavis and starts beating some sense into him)
Tour Bus Driver: One more and I'll…
Beavis: Kick your ass.
"What is this, the tour bus version of United Airlines? Just have the bus driver beat up on Beavis while the elderly people and Butt-Head just watch on. I'm sure somebody filmed the whole thing and uploaded it on YouTube or Facebook." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So after the tour bus driver beats the living crap out of Beavis, the tour resumes as the old lady pulls out a bottle of NoDrowz caffeine pills and Beavis starts wolfing them down and a bunch of other candies. Aside from that, the ATF are hot on their trail as Agent Flemming learns that the tour bus is headed to the White House. Beavis and Butt-Head arrive at the White House where we see Mr. Anderson and his wife arriving as well and then we get to see Beavis go full-on Cornholio.
Beavis: L'Enfantata. L'Enfantata titicaca for my bunghole. Bunghole.
White House Tour Guide (Voiced by Pamela Blair) Sir? Sir, are you okay?
Beavis: Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio!
White House Tour Guide: Okay. Uh, sir, maybe you should wait out in the lobby?
Beavis: Okay. In this lobby. Will there be TP for my bunghole? (Wanders off, muttering) I am Cornholio!
"Oh, man. This is going to make one hell of a hilarious scene involving Cornholio in the White House." Lucas said.
"I just had a thought. Imagine Cornholio as the president." Sean said. "President Cornholio."
"He will make T.P. great again." Lucas smirked out.
(Beavis, or Cornholio, stops to see a picture of President Richard Nixon doing his signature double peace sign. It switches back to Cornholio and then the picture itself.)
Beavis: *to the picture* Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio!
"Of course Nixon ain't threatening you." Lucas said to the camera, "He's been dead for a good 27 years. Pretty sure he got tired of people kicking him around."
Lucas (Narrating): Cornholio then crashes a White House conference while hyped up on sugar cubes.
Press Secretary: ...are totally unfounded.
Beavis/Cornholio: *to the Secretary* I am the Great Cornholio! I am a gringo! I have no bunghole! Bungholio!
Sean immediately laughed before saying, "Oh my goodness, can you honestly imagine Cornholio interrupting your usual White House press conference that our former President Trump could've had? Imagine that.
(A cutaway gag begins showing Brian, dressing up as former President Donald Trump, doing one of his press conference in front of the press, which consists of Sean, Taylor and Oliver.)
Sean/Press Reporter: Mr. President, there are rumors spreading around that you might have had an affair with Stormy Daniels while being married to your wife. What is your response.
Brian/Mr. President: *to Sean* Oh, please. Those rumors have been entirely unfounded.
(Lucas then enters into the room dressed up as Cornholio.)
Lucas/Cornholio: I am the Great Cornholio! You, Mr. President, gave Stormy P.P. for her bunghole! Bungholio!
Brian/Mr. President: Okay, THAT is fake news.
(Cutaway gag ends.)
Sean (Narrating): Cornholio, then takes things up a notch when he enters the Oval Office without everyone watching him. It's there we get another hilarious scene of the film.
(Beavis/Cornholio approaches the President's phone and grabs it before calling one of the military's lieutenants.)
Lieutenant: Yes, Mr. President?
Beavis/Cornholio: I am Cornholio! My bunghole it goes… Raaaah-wa-ta-ta-ta-ta…
Lieutenant: Mr. President.
(Beavis/Cornholio is still speaking gibberish over the phone incoherently.)
Lieutenant: Mr. President, I can't make up what you're saying.
Beavis/Cornholio: Bwah-bwah-bwah-bwah-bwah…
(Beavis/Cornholio then shakes his head all around erratically while speaking more nonsensical gibberish.)
"Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Trump's phonecalls in an entire nutshell." Sean smirked out.
Lucas: (Narrating) With everyone being escorted out of the White House, Butt-Head stays behind to look for a TV to watch, until he stumbles across Chelsea Clinton in her room and he tries to flirt with her.
Butt-Head: Hey, baby. Huh huh, I noticed you have braces. So do I, huh huh.
(The scene then cuts to a shot of the White House as we see Butt-Head getting thrown out of the second-story window by Chelsea and lands in the bushes)
Butt-Head: (Emerges from the bushes) Huh huh huh. That was cool.
"Note to self: never try to flirt with Chelsea Clinton. Because she will throw your ass out of a window." Lucas said.
Sean: (Narrating) The A.T.F. agents surround Butt-Head and Agent Flemming questions him about the unit, so they frisk him and learn that he doesn't have the unit on him and then Agent Flemming requests Agent Hurly to do this.
Agent Flemming: Agent Hurly, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop till you reach the back of his teeth.
Butt-Head: Huh huh huh. Yeah.
"Oh, great. That's just great, movie. I now learn that Butt-Head enjoys having his asshole fisted. I would rather watch Adriana Checkhik being fisted by Penny Pax instead of this one." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) After Cornholio finishes screwing around with the military by setting the nation to Defcon 4, he leaves with a group of foreign dignitaries and he comes across Mr. Anderson's camper, leading to this hilarious moment.
(Beavis/Cornholio sees Mr. Anderson's camper and takes a picture of Dallas out as he alternates from looking at the camper and the picture before walking towards the camper and stepping inside. We then cut to a title card, which reads "One Minute Later")
Narrator: One minute later.
(Mr. Anderson looks in the side-view mirror and notices the camper shaking)
Tom Anderson: What the hell? Wait here a minute.
(Mr. Anderson steps out of the car and walks towards the camper to check it out)
Beavis: No. Oh, no.
Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise? I…
(Mr. Anderson goes into the camper and sees Beavis)
Tom Anderson: Oh! What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
(Mr. Anderson throws Beavis out the door. Beavis is in his underwear with his T-shirt still pulled over his head)
Tom Anderson: And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you. Oh, damn it. Now I gotta straighten up in here. Damn it.
"And if I find any suspicious stains in here, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Sean yelled out, imitating Mr. Anderson.
Sean: (Narrating) But then the A.T.F. surround Beavis while they're armed to the teeth after thinking that he has the bioweapon on him and Agent Flemming tries to talk to him.
Agent Flemming: This is Agent Flemming, ATF. We won't hurt you. We just want the unit.
(Beavis/Cornholio parades back and forth while muttering)
Agent Flemming: Tell us where the unit is.
Beavis: Do you have TP? TP for my bunghole?
Agent Flemming: We'll get you whatever you want.
"And make sure that you give him plenty of T.P. for his bunghole." Lucas said. "Lots of it."
Beavis: You must bow down to the almighty bunghole. That was cool.
Agent Flemming: This is your last chance. Give us the unit now.
Beavis: Why does everybody want to see my schlong?
"No, dude. Nobody wants to see your schlong? In fact, I will gouge out my eyes if I ever saw your unit." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) When all else fails, Agent Flemming orders his men to open fire on Beavis, but then Beavis snaps out from his Cornholio phase and sees what's going on until Mr. Anderson pops up with Beavis' shorts.
Tom Anderson: Take your damn pants with you.
Agent Flemming: Hold your fire!
Tom Anderson: What in the hell?
Agent Bork: The pants! He's got the unit!
(The ATF agents point their guns on Tom Anderson)
Agent Flemming: Drop the pants. Now!
Tom Anderson: Now, wait a minute. I ain't the one who…
(An ATF agent charges at Mr. Anderson in slow motion. He grabs the pants as Mr. Anderson pulls away, causing the pants to rip and sending the unit flying. The ATF agents and the crowd look up and gasp)
"Ooooooooooooo ffffffffuuuuuuuudge." Sean and Lucas both said in slow motion.
(Butt-Head laughs as the the unit falls and hits his head. The unit bounces off Butt-Head's head and falls into his hand as Flemming, Bork and the other agents take a step back)
Butt-Head: Uhhh… here you go.
(Butt-Head hands the unit over to Agent Flemming and the crowd cheers)
"Hallelujah!" Sean cheered out.
"Holy shit, it's a miracle!" Lucas cheered out as well.
Sean: (Narrating) The ATF secure the unit and they arrest Tom Anderson, thinking that he's working with Muddy and Dallas, so now Beavis and Butt-Head are now heroes for saving the nation and being interviewed by reporters.
Butt-Head: Uh, hey. Does anyone wanna see my unit?
"NOOOOOOOOOO! No, no, no! Nobody wants to see your schlong! Let's move to the next scene before I start freaking out." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) Agent Flemming apologized to Beavis and Butt-Head and admits he was wrong about them and their actions will have to remain top-secret. And a special someone wants to say thank you to them, which is the president himself and former governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton.
President Bill Clinton: Beavis and Butt-Head, on behalf of your fellow Americans, I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country.
Butt-Head: Huhuhuhuh. He said, "Extend."
Beavis: Oh, yeah.
President Bill Clinton: In recognition for your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-Head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
President Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
"Congratulations, President Clinton. You just made two of the dumbest teens on the face of the Earth ATF agents." Lucas said.
"Yeah. They're now ATF agents from the guy who claimed that he did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The duo return to Highland and yet they are bummed that they didn't score and they didn't get any money. But they do come across something better than chicks and money.
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. Hey, Butt-Head, look!
(Beavis and Butt-Head find their stolen TV while Handel Messiah's "Hallelujah Chorus" plays in the background)
Butt-Head: Yes!
Beavis: Yes! Yes! Yes!
(Beavis and Butt-Head run up to the TV like it was their lost and found dog)
"It's a miracle!" Sean exclaimed. "And I think you guys need a new TV because your TV is mangled and stuff." Sean said.
Lucas: (Narrating) Therefore, happy ending! Beavis and Butt-Head get their television back and the movie ends with the duo walking home into the sunset while insulting each other.
Butt-Head: You're too much of a butt monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-Head: Butt-dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-Head: Ass-goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-Head: Uh, yeah.
Beavis: 'Cause I just need to stop by his tool shed for a couple of minutes. You know what I'm saying?
Butt-Head: Tool.
"And that was Beavis & Butt-Head Do America and this is a movie that I would love to watch again because I really like it." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown once more)
Sean: (Narrating) What can I say about this movie? It is funny as hell. When I come across it on HBO, I watch it again and again and experience all of the jokes again. This is a great fun movie to experience.
Lucas: (Narrating) The movie brought a few laughs and the animation is well done. You got some great jokes along the way and it gets really creative with it's artwork in some scenes, like it's infamous hallucination scene. I'm surprised that I didn't get any nightmares from watching that scene.
Sean: (Narrating) The voice cast is amazing and big props to Robert Stack as Agent Flemming, he's the best part about this movie and he's hilarious as always. The soundtrack for the movie is freaking amazing and it features songs from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Isaac Hayes, LL Cool J, Ozzy Osbourne, Rancid, No Doubt, AC/DC and many, many more. Hell, there's even a wonderful cover of Engelbert Humperdink's "Lesbian Seagull" and the original music score from John Frizell is decent. This movie is so good that Siskel and Ebert gave it two thumbs up. No, I'm not kidding about that part, they actually liked that movie. This movie is funny, engaging and entertaining and if you happen to come across it, then go check it out if you're a fan of Beavis & Butt-Head. If you haven't seen Beavis & Butt-Head, then watch the show and check out the movie. Beavis & Butt-Head Do America comes in at 5 TV sets out of 5.
"And that is all for Animation March Madness. We've looked at a couple of animated movies and thank you all for tuning in. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever. Tune in next time when I move on to another topic. I think you might want to get down for this one." Sean said.
"Why's that?" Lucas asked.
"Because next time, I'm going to be talking about iCarly. Get down!" Sean yelled.
Sean and Lucas duck down for cover before bullets come flying at them while the audience boos at him.
"Oh, yeah. Let the angry Creddie and Seddie fans come after me." Sean said.
Mayhem Critic Tagline - Do you have T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole?
Well, there you go everyone. Sorry if this took a long-ass time to do, you know how busy me and Lucas got with the crap we have to deal with. But you know what? We finally got it done, which means Animation March Madness is over and done with. Thank goodness for that. Now that I'm looking pumped to do more episodes, next time will finally be a list worth waiting for as I present my Top 11 Favorite iCarly Episodes. After that one will be a long-awaited review of my next movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's sure to kickass, my friends. If you like this fic and want to leave a review, go right head. If you also want to suggest a movie for me to review or co-review, let me know by review or PM. Anything works good for me. Until next time, cheers everyone!