Midge sat down with a sigh; they were back at the Stage Deli after a long afternoon of looking at apartments. There were a bunch that Midge liked, but Lenny didn't seem interested in any of them. It was a little annoying, if she were being honest.
"So you really didn't like any of them?"
Lenny coughed because he laughed while inhaling a drag of a cigarette, his eyes opened wide, obviously surprised, "What? I never said that."
"You didn't have to! Your face and silence said it all." She huffed, rudely snatching the cigarette from him.
He sighed, "It's not that, Midge. It's that I've never lived in a place that nice, ever. You know my money situation, I don't want to sign up for something like that and then be left having to choose between feeding the kids and keeping the lights on." He laughed sardonically, "Or keeping my ass out of jail because I can't pay my lawyers."
'Oh,' Midge thought, 'That makes more sense, and now I feel like an asshole.' "Oh."
"Yeah. Plus, it makes no sense to live so uptown. First of all, I don't fit in with any of those upper west siders except maybe you, and both of us work way more downtown. The amount of money we'll spend in cab fairs alone will be enough to drain me dry." He got a little quieter, self-conscious, maybe, Midge wondered as he continued, "I thought you decided you didn't want that life when you turned away from the doctor."
"I did!"
He shrugged, "Well, good then, we can find something closer to Midtown that's big enough for us and our kids that won't kill us financially."
She stayed quiet for a while, stirring the straw in her iced tea that Verna placed in front of her. She'd always been raised to believe that life in the Upper West Side was what she wanted. That's where she's always lived, and figured it's where she'd live for the rest of her life. But didn't she turn her back on all of that already when she decided to devote herself to her comedy career? And Lenny was right; she sealed that door shut when she said goodbye to Benjamin. So why was she having such a hard time accepting that her life didn't have to be there anymore? Was it because of her family? Shit, her family. She couldn't just move out of Moishe and Shirly's and leave her parents there.
"What about my parents?"
"What about them?"
"I can't leave them at my ex-in-law's house; I need to help them with a place to live."
"So… So you want them to live with us?" He wasn't sure how he felt about that idea. Horrified came to mind, but he knew that was dramatic. He also liked Abe; Rose was a different story, but he had a feeling he was growing on her. That'd make finding an apartment much harder; they already needed what? Four bedrooms? With them, it'd be five, and knowing Midge, she'd want a spare because she was just used to that shit. So six bedrooms. Fuck, that'd be expensive anywhere. The girls would like each other, he was pretty sure, and they were close in age, so they could share a room, that's a little better, he supposed. Okay, so five bedrooms. That was still a lot, if he were being honest, he was panicking a little. Okay, a lot. He was panicking a lot. It was the first time since he made it to New York that he really wished he still had a stash so he could get high and take the edge off. No, he scolded himself, that was stupid and selfish, two things he had a lot of experience with but was trying to stay away nowadays.
"Well, maybe not live with us. I'd like to be able to live like newlyweds without having to worry about my parents overhearing us, but I have to at least help."
"Okay." He eventually said, feeling some tension leave his shoulders. "We can do that."
"We can?"
"We're married now, right? I might be a little rusty compared to you, seeing as I have a little over a year since I was last married, and you have three months and even less time since your last engagement, but from what I remember, it means we're a team now, your debts and responsibilities are mine, and same goes for you." As the words came out of his mouth, the tension came right back. He knew what he was getting into, but he never handled responsibility the best.
She smiled widely, and it made him feel a lot better, he knew he was doing the right thing. "Okay, yeah, that sounds good." She reached across the table and rested her hand on his, "I'll call a realtor tomorrow and tell them about the new part of town we want to look at."
"Yeah? Are you sure? I know it's a big change from what you're used to."
"We talked about this already, remember? In Las Vegas, you were very clear about what would be different if we stayed married, I knew what I was walking into. I want this, still want this, you do too, right?"
"Yeah, Midge, of course I do. I don't just go around telling any old woman I love her, you know."
"Good, you better not."
He sat up straight and acted as if he had something important to say, "Good. Now that that's handled, we have something important to talk about, something that's been very lacking in our marriage."
She gasped and looked around, but he was talking quietly enough that no one could hear them, "What's that?"
"Jello molds. I remember being promised lots of Jello molds."
"I promised no such thing!"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but we've had this conversation before, it's what you do as part of your wifely duties."
"Oh, I'm the queen of jello molds,"
"That's my point exactly."
Benjamin wasn't sure what he was doing, the only thing he knew for certain was that he was pissed off. He respected Midge when she turned down his proposal, fuck, he knew it was a long shot to begin with, you only come across a woman like that once in a lifetime, and it's very rarely you're lucky enough that she chooses you. He didn't blame her for choosing her career, to be honest, it made him love and respect her more. So he didn't get angry, he didn't fight to keep her here, he didn't call her and make her uncomfortable just to make himself feel better by hearing her voice again.
So when she had the audacity to send her mom into his place of work to try to set him up in order to relieve some of her guilt… well, let's just say being pissed off was downplaying it. He was beyond angry; he wanted to yell at her, scream, shake her, and tell her how dumb she was for choosing her job over them over their future, their future kids. He wanted to kiss her… wait, no, he was getting off track. Angry, yeah, he was angry, and he was going to take that anger out on her, yell at her in the middle of that crappy, dirty, smelly deli she was so fond of.
Yeah, that was exactly what he had planned to do. That was why he was so surprised he slowed down when he walked in and saw her, he knew that look, the way she was looking at the man she was sitting across from, she was on a date! He knew that look well; no, he had never seen her looking at him like that before, but he'd made many a woman fall for him in the past, the way she was looking at that man made it clear she was in love with him. His feet stopped moving without his say-so. He wasn't expecting this and wasn't sure how to handle this new situation, so he listened and waited for the perfect time to step in, he made sure to hold on to the anger though, that was most important in his opinion. Wait, he was sure he had heard that voice before, he knew that man, if only he wasn't facing away from Benjamin so he could see the mystery man's face.
"Oh, I'm the queen of jello molds,"
"That's my point exactly."
"You know, that talk we had that night was the main reason I turned down that proposal."
"What? From the doctor? Christ, no wonder Rose hates me! That was not my intention, Upper West Side, I swear."
"Sure, it wasn't," She said sarcastically, holding the vowel sounds much longer than necessary while rolling her eyes.
Ben's eyes opened wide, this… this… this bozo was the reason he and Midge weren't married, working on making their first kid right now?!
"Okay, okay, so maybe it wasn't my intention, but that doesn't mean I wasn't pleased with the outcome."
The waitress came over and dropped off their food, saying something that made both her and the man laugh, but he was so angry his ears were ringing, so he didn't catch her words.
Midge took a bite of her sandwich and looked away a little kittenishly, "You know, one time he asked me if I and you've ever gotten together."
"Fortune teller, I see. He should switch careers; he'd make a lot more money." The man took a bite of his food and sat back against the booth, waiting to swallow before he shrugged, then continued, "Well, that or he saw the way I look at you."
Benjamin was sure Midge just blushed, he had never seen her blush before, what type of witchcraft did this man have over her? Something was wiggling in the back of his head, he must know this man, apparently, he asked Midge about their past before, but he couldn't quite remember.
"Or he saw the way I looked at you."
"Better watch what you're saying, sweetheart, or I'll find another dirty, dark corner to defile you in."
She laughed, "We're married, remember? I don't think you can defile your wife."
"Sure you can, I should know, I've been doing a great job of it since Vegas."
Benjamin's ears were ringing even louder now, married, she was married? No, he must have misheard, yeah, that was it. He should just do what he came here to do and get out of here. Without giving himself too much time to think about it, he continued his walk over to the table, walking with all the fire he had in him after all the shit he'd been through because of Midge.
So, he stomped up and rested his hands on his hips, speaking loud enough to get her attention along with everyone else's in the deli, "Well, this is going to sound like a cliche, but what the hell, how dare you…."
He trailed off and lost some of his fire when he finally saw the face of the mystery man. He knew that man. Lenny Bruce, Lenny fucking Bruce, the man Midge wouldn't stop raving about, the man she forced him to see live. Now that he saw the man's face, he remembered that conversation with Midge clearly, and Lenny was right, the reason he asked about their past was because he saw that look in Lenny's eye, how much he wanted Midge. But Midge was right, too, because she shared that same look. She told him, multiple times, that he had nothing to worry about, but look at them now, months later, and clearly together.
"Benjamin?"
"It's a good guess."
"Speak of the devil," Lenny said, and Midge reached across the table to slap his arm, Benjamin didn't miss the warm look they gave each other for a second.
"But what are you doing here?"
Benjamin tried to work past his shock, so he started pacing, "When you want to find a penguin, you head to the North Pole." Midge continued to look at him, shocked, "Do you want to do this here, sitting across from your 'comedy mentor/idol?"
Lenny's face scrunched up in a scowl. He knew Benjamin's information was a few months old, but he really hoped Midge still didn't look at him like that, hoped he wasn't on some pedestal to her. Benjamin saw the face Lenny made and took it wrong, "Oh, sorry, funny boy, don't you like the idea of me taking Midge away? Are you afraid she'll open her eyes and see the huge mistake she made?"
"Benjamin!" Midge said, scandalized, not used to hearing him be so mean and aggressive. Without thinking about it, she reached across the table and took Lenny's hand in hers.
"Truthfully, doctor, I don't think about you much at all. No, I just wasn't fond of the words you used to describe me, I'm no idol."
"Well, at least we agree on something."
Lenny leaned back and laughed as he ran his hand over the lower half of his face, and then he looked at Benjamin appraisingly, he felt uneasy; it was almost as if Lenny could see inside his soul, and he didn't like it. Eventually, Benjamin felt some relief when Lenny turned his eyes away from him and over to Midge, but it also made him angry because he could see the humor in Lenny's eyes, and it made him feel like Lenny didn't take him seriously, that he was a part of some big joke he didn't understand.
"Wanna get outta here?" The comic asked Midge as if he wasn't even there anymore.
Midge flicked her eyes to Benjamin but quickly looked back at Lenny, "Yeah, I have some calls to make before tonight, anyway." She looked back at Benjamin, "Unless, I mean, I'm pretty sure you came here for a reason, and it wasn't for the five-star food."
Benjamin wasn't really sure what to say here; he came today with a clear purpose, but now he was just confused. To be fair, Midge and Lenny's connection always did that to him, so it wasn't like it was new. He mentally shook his head; he had come all the way here, and he wasn't going to leave without saying his peace.
"I let you off pretty easy, didn't I?"
"Wha-?"
"You sent your Dear John letter, unproofed, by the way, and I didn't chase you down, didn't bang down your door demanding an explanation, did I?"
"No."
"That's right, no. I let you slink off into the night like a goddamn Damon Runyon character; I figured if that's the way you wanted it, I wasn't going to beg you for an explanation. An explanation I was absolutely entitled to, by the way."
"Uh, yes, you were."
"I was. I handled the whole thing with dignity and grace, I handled the whole thing very calmly, I don't get mad, I can't get mad, when you're very tall, you can't get mad, you can't pace around, and wave your arms in the air," As he was talking his anger came back with a vengeance, so he started acting out his words, pacing back and forth, gesticulating wildly. Midge's eyes opened wide; she'd never seen him like this before, she looked over at Lenny and wanted to smack him for the humor she saw behind his eyes.
Lenny pointed his cigarette at Benjamin in agreement; he knew how people looked at him when he was pissed, it wasn't pretty. On one of the paces back to the table, Benjamin noticed Lenny's agreement. "See, he gets it; god forbid you raise your voice, you can't because people get scared, "A lot of people were on edge when Benjamin's voice raised; one lady even screamed, and he pointed at her, "See? Look around, that's what people look like when you're really tall and really mad," He waved his hands wildly, "I look like an angry building! So I stay calm all the goddamn time. But this time?" He laughed a little insanely, "This time, you have pushed me too far."
"What are you talking about? What did I do? I mean, besides…"
"I work at a hospital, Miriam, I perform surgery, I hold really sharp tools that I cut people open with, and if I cut them open incorrectly, they tend to die. And that's where you chose to send your mother to fix me up with another girl?"
"What?" Midge was as flabbergasted as she sounded, Lenny choked on the sip of coffee he was taking.
"Are you insane?"
"Benjamin, I swear, I had nothing to do with that."
"Bull shit Miriam, you feel guilty," No one missed his eyes flicking over to Lenny, "So you decided to get me settled so you don't have to feel bad anymore. Well fuck that, you don't get a say in what happens to me. Do you feel like a louse? Too bad, live with it."
"I didn't, I swear, I mean no! Yes, I felt bad, and still do, but I'd never send my mother over to your place of work to set you up! I mean, I know what it's like to be set up by my mother, I wouldn't do it to my worst enemy." She added the next sentence a little quieter, more like she was thinking to herself, "Well, maybe I'd send her over to Penny Pan, she seems like someone who needs a Rose in her life to straighten herself out."
Lenny smirked, holding back a chuckle. He knew this conversation wasn't his to get involved in, even if she was his wife now, but he couldn't help that she was funny even when she was stressed out. In fact, he thought that might be when she was at her most funny. The smirk didn't go unnoticed by Benjamin, though.
He pointed at Lenny, "You're lying, your little partner in crime doesn't have a poker face as good as yours, Midge. God, I'm such an idiot, how did I ever believe you when you said there was nothing going on between you two?"
"What? There's nothing going on between us, or there wasn't anything, I don't know, I just know I didn't lie to you." Midge was getting mixed up. It wasn't like she was embarrassed at all about her relationship with Lenny, but they still hadn't decided what to do about going public, in fact, the last she heard from Susie, she wanted them to keep it quiet for a few more weeks, just let themselves be seen out in public together as friends. She had a feeling this wasn't what Susie meant.
"Don't lie to my face again, Midge. I thought you were better than that. Then again, apparently not. I heard you two talking just now; you're married!"
"Fuck," Lenny whispered under his breath and looked around the diner, everyone was already watching them since the ex's freak out, but now they weren't even being polite and pretending not to pay attention when he made eye contact with them no, they were staring outright. "Thanks for the big mouth, doctor. My manager is already on his last straw with me; I'm sure hearing about my second marriage in the papers will finally snap it. Susie won't be too happy either."
Lenny was being dramatic. Joe knew all about the marriage; he was the first person Lenny told, but that didn't mean he'd be happy with the news getting out. He and Susie worked together on a plan to hopefully do the least harm to either of them. Midge banged her head against the table twice, also not looking forward to the talking she was sure to have tomorrow morning when Susie checked the paper.
"Gotta be honest with you, I couldn't give a fuck how this affects you, Midge obviously didn't care how it affected me when she left my through a letter in the mail or sent her mother to set me up with someone."
"Christ, man, if you knew Midge at all, you'd know she didn't send Rose. Fuck, up until a few weeks ago, I'm sure Rose still had hopes that Midge and you would get back together, this was probably her strange way of showing she accepted the truth."
"Hey, why don't you do me a favor and stay out of this? You've already done enough damage for me and Midge, let's not make it any worse. It's none of your business, anyway." Benjamin said, anger growing again.
Lenny was starting to get pissed, too, "First of all, I didn't do anything to your relationship with Midge. Since the cat's out of the bag anyway, we didn't get together until after she left on tour, you two were done by then. Second of all, you're right; it wasn't any of my business, but once you started screaming said business around a group of people more gossipy than high school broads, you left me no choice but to get involved." Lenny looked like he wanted to say more than changed his mind, he leaned back in his chair and lit another cigarette, immediately handing it to Midge before lighting one for himself. He felt a headache coming on, and he really didn't want to be in this situation anymore. He would say he just wanted to get home to relax with his wife, but right now, that home was at Midge's wacky ex-in-law's house, so he couldn't say he was much looking forward to that either. That tingling urge to get high was buzzing in his head again.
Midge saw something going on behind Lenny's eyes. She wasn't sure what it was, but she was positive she didn't like it. So she decided to get them out of there. She sighed and looked at her ex, 'Look, Benjamin, I'm truly sorry about my mother. I'll be having a talk with her for sure when I get home, and I'll make sure it never happens again. I'm sorry everything happened between us the way it did, and I'm sorry you got hurt because of my indecisiveness. I hope you'll be able to get past it soon and move on because you're a good guy, and you deserve to be happy like I am." She offered him a small apologetic smile before grabbing up all her belongings, standing from the booth, and holding her hand out to Lenny. Benjamin didn't miss the affection, or worse, love flowing back and forth between the two as Lenny took her hand, and they stared at each other. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but we have other apartments to see today before we each have to get ready for our shows, so we really have to get going."
"Uh, yeah, okay," He managed to get out even though he was so confused. He took a step away from the booth, making room for them. After she gave him one last glance over her shoulder, Midge Maisel was out of his life again as quickly as she entered.
Midge breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they were out of the diner, of all the things she expected to happen, running into Benjamin wasn't one of them, much less getting yelled at by him for what felt like an hour in front of 80% of her fellow New York comics. Lenny's dark chuckle brought her out of her thoughts, "What?"
He mimicked Benjamin's wild arm flailing, "Do you think he'd mind if I took some of that for my set? That was fucking hilarious. I already have a whole bit to go with it."
Midge laughed and slapped his arm, "Why don't we both give him a little time to calm down before we add any of that to our sets?"
He pretended to forlornly sigh, "I suppose I could do that, I do feel bad for the guy, losing a girl like you. I don't know how he's keeping it together." He said as he turned his head to her and gave her one of his sexy, crooked smiles that always managed to make her legs weak.
"Such a sweet talker, Mr. Bruce. No one would believe it if I told them."
"Another reason you're going to keep that little piece of information to yourself, Mrs. Bruce." He'd have thought calling her that would have gotten old by now, but it hadn't, and she still smiled every time he said it, so he considered that a win."
She quickly stood on her toes to peck his lips, not stopping their fast stride. When she went flat on her feet again (Well as flat as someone who always wears heels), she sighed, Unlike Lenny a moment ago, her upset was not being faked.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He asked, and she could hear the real worry in his tone, it made her insides all warm and tingly.
"So, our secret is out, or at least it will be in a few hours. You weren't joking about them gossiping more than Brooklynites sitting on their stoops."
Lenny chuckled as he reached over and interlaced their hands, "Yeah, it is. Guess that means I don't have to worry about doing this anymore, or who's around whenever I want to touch my wife."
Midge smiled softly, yeah, that was a good point. But… "What about Susie? And your manager."
"They'll figure it out; it's literally their job to deal with fallout from stuff like this. Plus, it isn't like this is the first time either of them has heard about this, they've both known since Vegas, and I'm sure they worked out a plan to make this not affect your career. And that's all I ever cared about anyway."
"But what about your career?"
"It won't affect mine, and even if it does, it's not like I care, my name is already so dragged through the mud that there's no cleaning it. It's one of the reasons I was worried about staying married and publicly connecting your name to mine; I don't want to make my bad reputation mess with your work."
She smiled again, this time much brighter, "It won't I, won't let it. And if somehow it does, we'll work together to fix it."
He looked at her and smiled softly. Midge marked it permanently in her mind; she didn't get to see it often. She saw him smirk all the time but not smile, so she ate them up when she got to see them. He squeezed her hand and pulled her closer to him, more resting his lips at the top of her head than kissing her, before pulling away. In the most innocent voice he could muster, he asked, "So, now that we're not going to those last few apartments, it seems to me we have a few hours with no one looking for us and no responsibilities. What oh ever could we do to fill the time?"
She felt heat grow at her apex; all it took was a hint from Lenny, and she was ready for him, she looked around, it was broad daylight; it wasn't like that late night in California when she was drunk, and it was dark enough that he was able to convince her that they wouldn't be seen in that alleyway. But they couldn't go to Moiche and Shirly's either, fuck they really needed to get a place of their own, and now. They could get a hotel, but that'd just be a waste of money to only stay for a few hours. Unless… there were four grandparents at the house, she was sure between the four of them, the kids would be watched after. She looked at him with a sparkle in her eyes that Lenny knew well by now, "What do you say about me and you getting a hotel for the night? I'll call the grandparents to let them know we won't be making it home tonight after our sets."
"Mrs. Maisel, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're trying to steal me away to seduce me." He said in an overly shocked voice.
"Who, me? Now, do you really think I'm that kind of girl?"
He grabbed her by the hips and turned her so she was facing him before taking a few steps forward, until she was trapped flush against him and the wall of a building. She enjoyed the contrast of the brick scratching her back and his hard, smooth body at her front. She didn't protest when his leg slipped between her legs. He continued the little game they were playing, "I don't know, I have a feeling you've let go and been bad a time or two in your past."
Her look became more sultry, "Well, Mr. Bruce, you might be lucky enough to find out if you take me up on my offer."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're trying to corrupt me. You might be that type of girl, but I'm most certainly not that type of guy."
"Maybe not yet, Mr. Bruce, but I have a feeling I'll be able to change that by the end of the night."
"Fuck, Midge," Lenny groaned, breaking character, he leaned in and took her lips hungrily, not hearing the annoyed grunt from the men passing or the scandalized squeals from the women, too lost in her. She didn't seem to pay them much mind either.
One voice did cut through their fog of need and arousal, "Ah, you've got to be fucking kidding me! This is what was so important you had to leave for?"
Lenny let out a silent groan as their kiss broke, and he rested his head on her shoulder for a moment, getting himself together. This guy was really starting to get on his nerves; they'd broken up months ago at this point, and he had no right to be so upset that she moved on. Sure, she got married fast after the breakup, but he didn't know that. With a sigh, he turned to face Benjamin, trying to look friendly, although he wasn't sure if he was pulling it off. He made sure to stand in front of Midge to give her a moment to adjust her clothing; he might have gotten a little overzealous with his hands during that kiss. What could he say? His wife really knew how to get him going.
"Doctor! Long time no see, didn't expect to see you this far downtown, what are you doing here?" He acted as if they weren't just together minutes before.
He scoffed at Lenny and tried to look past him to get a look at Midge, but Lenny moved just enough so that wasn't possible. Benjamin sighed, "Midge? What are you doing, this isn't you. Don't let this… this… degenerate turn you into someone you're not."
Lenny laughed, which only made Benjamin more mad, "What's so funny?
Lenny waved his hand in negation while trying to contain his laughter, "Nothing, nothing. It's just, if you think that's what's happening here, then me and you know two completely different women."
"What the fuck is that supposed to…."
"Benjamin, what are you doing here?" Her friendly, apologetic demeanor from before was gone, she sounded just as annoyed as Lenny felt.
"Me? What are you doing here? You were almost having sex with him in the middle of the street."
"Okay, number one, sure, we might have gotten a little too lost in the moment, but having sex in the street is exaggerating, and two, that's none of your business anymore, Benjamin."
"This isn't you." He said, not sure why he bothered, even if she agreed with him and left Lenny right now, it wasn't as if he was sure he wanted her back he was still so angry.
"Lenny is right, if you think that's true, you should have seen me in college. I'm the same person I've always been. We should thank you, though; we are wasting precious hours standing out here, when we could be alone. And at the very least, I should have opened my purse so people could throw money in it since we were putting on such a show."
Benjamin looked disgusted while Lenny laughed, and it was never more clear to her that Lenny was the one she was meant to be with. So, without another word, she grabbed her husband's hand and walked to the closest affordable hotel. She wanted to spend as much time as possible alone with him, showing him how much she loved and enjoyed him.