Midge knew the responsible thing would be to take the time to call both their managers to let them know the news that was sure to be going around within the next few hours. Sure, it sucked that they didn't get to do their plan for a smooth reveal for their marriage, the plan that would have barely affected her career at all, but honestly, she was just relieved that they didn't have to feel the need to hide anymore.

Plus, she didn't care if the responsible thing would be to call Susie. Right now, all she could think about was how much she needed Lenny, and going by the need pouring off his face, burning in his eyes, he felt the same. So, Midge dropped those worries from her thoughts and focused on the right now, the pleasure Lenny was expert at bringing out of her, the cries of ecstasy that constantly left both their lips, the feeling his lips left on her skin, somehow burning her. No, she didn't think about the outside world again until deep into the night when they finally both flopped onto the bed beside each other, utterly worn out, panting, trying to even their breaths.

She leaned in when she felt Lenny's hand snake under her neck to pull her closer and sighed contentedly on his chest. She let out a moan of appreciation when his hand rubbed gently up and down her back, somehow touching and massaging out all of her sore spots. They both stayed quiet for a long time, just enjoying the moment. In fact, they were quiet for so long Midge was mostly asleep, and she was sure Lenny was already dreaming.

That's why she jumped when he spoke, her heart pumping so fast from the freight that she was wide awake, "So…" He ventured.

"So?"

"So, everyone is going to know by tomorrow, fuck, it'll probably be in the Times tomorrow."

Midge laughed, thinking he was joking, but when he didn't join in, she pushed herself up to look at his face, seeing his seriousness, "What? No, that's crazy."

"Not saying we'll be front page before the fold or anything, but they put shit about me in their entertainment section all the time. Who I'm seen out with, where I got arrested, who I'm pissing off this week, it's not a stretch to think they'll comment on our marriage status."

"You really think so?"

He shrugged, "I'm not positive, but… yeah, I'd bet on it."

She stayed quiet for a long time, thinking everything over. Eventually, she let out a "Fuck."

Lenny knew it wasn't an upset fuck from her tone, more of a thoughtful one, so he gave her a few more moments to think things through before agreeing, "Yeah, fuck."

She shrugged a few moments later, "It's fine. I told everyone important to me already, and you did too, right?"

"Yeah, Ma and Kitty know. I also told a few of my friends in the business, who I knew would keep their mouths shut. I know you told your family and ex, but what about your best friend, the, uh," He snapped his fingers a few times, trying to remember, "the pregnant one!"

Midge shot up, sitting straight up in bed, "Imogene!"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Fuck, no, I haven't told her! I wanted to square things off with Joel first because her husband is his best friend, but now it doesn't seem like I have the time to wait. Where's the phone? There's a phone in here, right?"

"Yeah, right here, but Midge, it's almost 1 in the morning, are you sure this is a good time to call? Maybe wait till the morning?"

"No, in the morning, it'll be too late! She reads the times!" Midge says, starting to panic. She jumped up, looking for enough clothes to at least be semi-decent. "Fuck, that means we have to call Susie, and what was his name again? Joe, right? We have to wake them up to let them know, too."

"Nah, it's not worth dealing with the bullshit of waking up a tired Joe."

"Oh, believe me, I get it, you should hear some of the threats Susie has yelled at me for waking her up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning. But think about it, which will be worse, hearing their bitching for waking them up or hearing their bitching about the news getting out without them knowing about it?"

Lenny thought it over as he leaned over to the nightstand for a smoke and lit it. He took a long drag, still thinking, while Midge was still running wildly around the room, looking for her missing sock. Eventually, he agreed. "You've gotta point there, wife."

She stopped her search just long enough to throw him a smile; she loved being right almost as much as she loved when he called her that. She eventually gave her sock up for a loss and crawled back into bed, making sure to grab the phone and take it with her, paying special attention not to let the cord get tangled up. She crawled right into Lenny's lap without thinking twice about it, even though he was still naked. She smiled when he pulled her even closer and rested his chin on the top of her head.

She took another deep breath before dialing the number she'd known by heart for years. She figured Imogene would not only take the late call better; she'd take the news better, too. Plus, she figured neither of her calls were going to be short conversations, so she was going to be nicer to her best friend, who was always nice to her, as opposed to her manager, who was always a cranky asshole. She didn't feel nearly as bad at waking Susie up as she did Imogene.

Her best friend answered before the second ring even started, surprisingly. She had to be up and about to be that close to her phone, which was stationed in the kitchen. Her cheery voice made Midge more positive she wasn't waking her friend up. "Hello? Cleary residence, this is Imogene speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hey Imogene, it's Midge, sorry to call so late."

"Oh, that's okay! You know I'm here whenever you need me; don't even think twice about it."

"But…"

"I said don't think twice about it!"

"Okay, okay, sorry."

"So, what can I do for you? I don't have to tell you, it is pretty late, the phone ringing almost woke the children up."

Midge rolled her eyes but answered with a smile, "I just have some news that I'd rather you hear from me and not the pap—not from anyone else."

"Okay…" Imogene said, just waiting to hear the gossip, not a fan of Midge beating around the bush.

"I got married." She finally blurted out.

"What?!" Imogene yelled. Midge was sure her best friend's scream was much louder than the phone ringing, but she decided to keep that thought to herself.

"Uh, yeah, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing, it happened when I was touring in Las Vegas."

"What?!" She yelled again, this time thankfully a few decibels lower. "With who? Why? I didn't even know you were dating! This is not how best friends treat each other!"

"I'm sorry! I just didn't know how to tell you. Plus, I needed to tell Joel myself, and I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't be able to keep it from Archie."

Imogene stayed quiet for a long time, far too long for Midge's liking. Midge thought she might have finally done it, pushed her best friend too far. Thankfully, after a long breath, Imogene wiped away her friend's fears, "Okay, I forgive you. If you give me all the details right now."

"You won't believe me if I told you."

"I'm listening…"

"Okay, I'll start with the part that will probably surprise you the most: who I got married to, Lenny Bruce."

"What?!" Imogene yelled so loud Lenny could hear it, she held the vowels much longer than necessary, in his opinion.

Hearing how surprised Midge's best friend was at their marriage, hearing Midge explain that they'd been friends for a long time, made him feel a mix of good and bad. Good because it made him feel like less of a deadbeat for keeping everyone around him in the dark about his life, no one knew he fell for Midge until months after it happened. Until he 'just so happened' to have a show in Vegas the same time she did and got her so drunk she thought marrying him was a good idea. On the other hand, it made him feel like shit because there must be some sort of reason someone as opening and loving as Midge kept their relationship, their friendship, a secret. He knew he wasn't what most people would call a prize, especially in her Upper West Side world, but he didn't think he was so bad that she needed to be embarrassed and hide their relationship unless … unless she thought so little of him before they were married that she didn't feel he was worth mentioning. Fuck, that last thought felt terrible, even if he knew it was probably accurate.

He didn't hear much more of the conversation with her pregnant best friend, actually, now that he thought about it, she probably wasn't pregnant anymore, it had been like a year since that bit. It didn't matter either way, he decided, either way, he felt pretty shitty hearing that conversation, even if it seemed like her best friend was happy for them and thought she was lucky for catching someone as hot as him. Huh, it seemed that he did catch more of that conversation than he realized.

He must have been too lost in thought because by the time he realized Midge was shaking his leg incessantly trying to get his attention, she'd already hung up the phone and turned the top half of her body around to look at him worriedly, "Lenny? Are you okay, where did you go?"

"What? I'm fine, sweetheart, just got lost in thought, as is the norm."

"Yeah, but I've seen you lost in thought plenty of times before, I've never seen you look so… sad while doing it"

"I'm fine, Kitten."

Midge was surprised, that was a new nickname for him to use, she had to admit, she didn't hate it. "Kitten, huh?"

"Oh yeah. Truthfully, you're more of a tigress or lioness in bed, but I figured kitten would sound much less filthy in public."

She shivered, just imagining the reactions she'd have in public when he called her that, especially after this conversation and knowing exactly why he was calling her that. Quickly, to get the dirty thoughts out of her mind, she shoved the landline toward him, "Your turn."

He tried to shove it back, but she didn't budge, "Joe is up all hours, he won't mind what time I call, he can be last."

She shoved the phone to him again, not letting him get out of it that easily, so he complied. The whole conversation took four minutes; three minutes and thirty seconds were spent getting yelled at for his shortsightedness, and the last thirty seconds were spent congratulating them again. He eventually hung up with a smile on his face, handing the phone back to Midge. Her phone call with Susie went just as they both expected it to: lots of yelling, not enough time to defend herself, eventual acceptance, ending with a way to spin the story to somehow make it seem like Midge and him were the wronged party, with the possibility of helping each of their careers. They both looked at each other, surprised at how well the conversations went.

"So it's done? Everyone who needs to know knows?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, I think so." She answered, still unsure.

"Good then. As a celebration, I say you lay flat on the bed and let me lick, suck, and fuck you until both of us pass out from either pleasure or exhaustion. I don't see that last one happening because you have a lot of staying power, and I'm willing to do all the work, but I'm excited to see how it plays out," He said with his brow quirked.

Midge laughed and kissed him. Lying flat on the bed was all she needed to do to let him know she was interested in his plans. Neither was sure what was the actual time they fell asleep, all either of them knew was that they were absolutely exhausted and were sure they couldn't possibly manage to do one more pleasurable thing to the other by the time their eyes closed that night.

Two Weeks Later

Midge was on top of the world; she was literally sashaying her way to the front door, She used her brand new key to open it and let out an 'eep' of happiness when she got another view of her new apartment. It took too long for her liking and what felt like at least a hundred viewings of different apartments until they finally found one that worked for them, one that finally had all their needs handled. There was this thing that they called a 'mother-in-law's suite,' which was basically a mini apartment attached to the main one where your in-laws, or parents in her situation, could stay. They'd still live in her house, but they each had the privacy of a locked door separating the two.

In the main apartment were four bedrooms, Midge had decided the girls would still share a room to have a spare in case of company even though neither of them had any friends that lived far enough not to be able to make it home after a night of dinner and bored games, and the in-law suite had another room, perfect for Rose and Abe, with their own bathroom and kitchenette, they'd be able to go days without needing to enter the main apartment, even if Lenny didn't have high hopes of that,

Lenny worked hard, really hard not to think about the fact that it was costing him an arm and a leg to live in this apartment, even so far downtown. Granted, it was more uptown than he'd ever lived before, so he supposed that made more sense, even if it was much less than Midge was used to. Which Lenny felt terrible about. Midge never gave him a reason to think that she was unhappy with the house or the life they were making for and with each other, but he couldn't help but feel like he was failing as a husband, failing to provide his wife with the life she'd become accustomed to,

Midge seemed more than happy with the apartment and life they were building, though, and he tried to remember that, especially when he felt so lacking he started wondering what the point was, why he was even bothering, why he shouldn't just let her go find someone who could give her what she deserved.

Midge sashaying into the room with a ginormous smile on her face made his body calm, his heart, his soul, it all evened out and quieted, and he knew all the bullshit he was going through was worth it, he was where he needed to be, more than that, where he wanted to be. He opened his arms, and she spun right into them, not before dropping the most recent kitchen box she'd been holding, she didn't trust the movers to handle her kitchenware, she demanded to do that herself. She stood on her toes and kissed him deeply, not worried about her kids. They were fascinated with their new rooms, the same went for her parents. So they stood there, swaying in the kitchen, kissing and feeling each other up like teenagers.

They finally broke apart after someone clearing their throat went from insistent to annoying. They both looked at the person interrupting them, and Lenny sighed while Midge smiled.

"Susie!" They both said, Lenny's tone much less excited.

"What do you think?" She couldn't help but ask her manager.

"I think you should be charging at least a dollar per showing. I swear, people would pay a lot more just to get a look of you two getting it on."

Midge rolled her eyes, "I meant the apartment, asshole."

"Oh, that. Yeah, it's okay, I guess. I like the location, if you keep the same mental math and make sure to leave at the same time, I'm sure you'll finally make it to shows on time." Lenny laughed, but Susie quickly shut him up, "You too, asshole. I'm positive you're worse at showing up at shows than our girl is here, and you're not even a lady, so you don't have the excuse of getting ready."

"Hey," Lenny defended, "I haven't been late to a gig for over a month since I got back to New York."

"Yeah, well, keep up the good work. Actually, I don't give a fuck, miss a show, miss all the shows; maybe they'll call my girl here to fill in."

Lenny sarcastically laughed, "Thanks Susie. I'll make sure to keep that sage advice in mind."

"Good. You better." She demanded before turning her attention to the appetizers Midge expertly laid out, showing Lenny even more that she was too good for him, but he knew now wasn't the time to worry about that, much less speak about it to Midge.

Midge invited all of her friends to help her move, trying to convince Lenny to do the same. She could tell something was off with him, but she didn't know what. He didn't seem too interested in getting his friends involved with their life together, and if she was being honest, that realization made her worry. It made her feel like he was pulling away, even if she had no other reason to think so. So that made things a little awkward between them, even if neither of which were willing to speak about it.

"Where should I put this?" Imogene asked from the entryway, thankfully dragging Midge out of her dark thoughts.

"Kitchen!" She answered, "Everything that the movers aren't carrying goes to the kitchen!"

A few moments later, Imogene entered the kitchen, sparing a big smile for Lenny, and once her box was put down, she pulled him in for a full, long hug. Lenny still wasn't used to such things, but he managed to pull it off as if he was. He was surprised to find that Midge's friends in the upper crust, specifically Imogene, were fans of his. It turned out that Imogene supported Midge, and when her best friend got into comedy, she made sure to study up on stand-up, and that was when she came across Lenny. He was flattered but still he wasn't used to having people feeling close and comfortable enough with him to hug him without his consent.

When Imogene pulled away from him, she went over to help Midge, who was unpacking plates, then, over her shoulder, she asked Lenny, 'So, what day is your daughter getting here? The kids are so excited to meet her."

He smiled, "She's psyched to meet everyone too, it's all she talks about when I call her." He agreed as he walked over and took the serving plate from Midge, she was trying to get it on the top shelf but was having a problem reaching.

Once it was safely secured on the top shelf, Midge pulled him down for a quick kiss. "Show-off," she said, trying to sound annoyed but clearly delighted.

He laughed. "Hey, we might as well make use of this height for something. You have no idea how much trouble it's caused me over the years."

She arched an eyebrow. "Trouble? I'm not buying it. What on earth could possibly be hard about being tall?"

"Oh, you know, just the constant head injuries—door frames, ceiling fans, low-hanging lights. Want me to show you the scars?"

She smirked. "What a tragedy. Meanwhile, I'm stuck using a step stool to reach the top shelf, and no one would ever think to describe me as heroic."

"Sure, but have you ever tried finding a mattress that's long enough? Let me tell you, fitting these legs on a bed? Expensive nightmare."

She crossed her arms. "I'm sorry, your life sounds devastating. Must be why you get that extra half-inch of legroom on airplanes."

"Don't even get me started on airplane legroom! You'd never survive in my shoes."

"Oh, I'd thrive. Hell, give me even a half inch, and I'd conquer the world."

"You two are so gosh darn cute together!" Imogene said, breaking them from their banter. Midge beamed at Imogene while Lenny looked at her sheepishly, "So, Kitty? When is she coming?"

"Oh, Kit and my mother will be here next week after we're all moved in."

"How long is your mother staying? I have to meet the woman who raised Lenny Bruce." Imogene said and Midge mumbled something under her breath so low neither of them could hear. "What was that, Midge?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"She's not my mother's biggest fan," Lenny said with a chuckle.

"What? Why?"

"I like his mother!" Midge defended herself.

"Sure you do, sweetheart. Why don't you go ahead and tell us what you were just mumbling under your breath then?"

She opened her mouth, probably preparing to dig her heels in deeper, but didn't have the opportunity because the brash voice of Susie cut everyone off, "Alright, alright, Midge, why am I here right now? I don't feel like watching the Midge and Lenny show, I had much more enjoyable plans. Now tell me what was so goddamn important that you made me get off my ass on what was supposed to be my one day off this year."

"Susie, don't be such a grump, I just wanted to show you our new place. Much nicer than I thought we were going to find so downtown."

Susie scoffed, "If this is downtown, I shit gold nuggets."

"What? Eww. Susie, what have we said about you talking about your shit?"

"Hey, you drag me out of bed I get to say any fucking thing I want to."

"Language, Susan." Rose chided as she came out of the shut door to their in-law suite.

"Jesus fuck, where did you come from?"

"Oh, you know, just the coat closet our daughter is packing us away in until we die."

"Mama! Don't say that; it's a very nice mini apartment, and you know you can come out here whenever you want. There are about to be the kids living here, the oldest one in kindergarten, I figured you'd be happy to be able to get away and have some peace and quiet."

"I just don't see why we couldn't get a place in our old building; I heard your old apartment is up for sale again."

"Because we'd all have to take up second jobs just to keep the lights on and everyone fed." Lenny chimed in a little shortly, he was tired of having this conversation, but Rose would just not give it up, so she kept making Midge feel more and more guilty, and that was pissing him off too.

"Or you could give up this comedy hobby of yours and get a real job." She said shortly, she still wasn't sold on Lenny and had no problem letting it be known.

Lenny opened his mouth, finally losing his patience with her, but thankfully, Midge spoke up, "Mama! That's just mean! You know damn well it's not a hobby for him, it's a career. Let's not forget, if he wasn't so kind and giving, you would still be stuck in Queen's with the Maisels instead of living back in Manhattan for free; I'm not paying for this on my own."

She was also really starting to get angry with her mother. Lenny didn't fight to have

her parents living with them once, and Rose took every opportunity she had to talk badly about him recently. If Rose didn't knock it off soon, Midge knew Lenny was going to lose his cool, and she really didn't want her husband and her mother to not like each other. Midge decided she'd talk to her Papa; he had a way of getting through to her Mama, and she really needed to keep the peace in the house.

Especially with Kitty getting here soon, she was a mixture of excitement and nervousness, knowing that her stepdaughter would be there soon and her whole family would soon be together. The last thing she wanted was for Kitty to get there and for everyone in the house to be fighting, mad at each other, or just an awkward silence because everyone was upset.

"Yeah, well, I suppose I'm just a bit cranky from the move and the cramped accommodations."

Midge sighed, "You're room is almost as big as ours, Mama. I'm sorry we're no longer in the Upper West Side, but we're not forcing you to live with us. Feel free to go apartment shopping more uptown with Papa."

"Miriam! Don't talk to me that way; I'm your mother."

"Talk to you what way— you know what, never mind. Do you have the kids for a few hours, I think Lenny needs some fresh air, and they're almost ready for bedtime anyway."

Rose sighed as if she'd never been nearly as inconvenienced as she was right now, "I suppose."

Midge held back, rolling her eyes, no matter how much she wanted to, she decided to take this as a win. "Thank you, Mama." She turned to Imogene, "Give us ten minutes, and we'll be ready."

Imogene shrugged, she had a sitter for the next few hours while Archie was at work. Sure, she planned to use that time helping her best friend unpack her new place, but if Midge would rather spend that time slacking off, Imogene wasn't going to complain, she was too pretty for manual labor anyway. "Sure, Midge. I'll be here."

Midge made eye contact with Lenny, who was looking at her with appreciation. She nodded her head toward their new bedroom, inviting him to join her. With a devilish smile, he nodded his head once and held his hands open, pointing down the hall in a gentlemanly fashion, "Ladies first."

Midge again stopped herself from rolling her eyes, but at least this time, it wasn't because she was annoyed, it was because her husband was cheesy and sweet. She led the way into their still packed-up bedroom; it was just a lot of boxes along with rows and rows of her garment racks. Thank goodness her closet was a walk-in closet, or there wouldn't have been enough room for her dresses, and that just wouldn't do. She was sure she'd be able to manage a small part of the closet for Lenny and his suits, along with a few drawers for everything else, but he'd be insane if he thought she'd be able to manage much more than that.

She barely heard Lenny close the door behind them before she felt him grab her and spin her around, hands on her waist, pulling her up against him. She could feel his excitement, and she immediately regretted the plans she just made them. She stood on her toes to kiss him, but that wasn't necessary as he was already leaning down to meet her. His hands slid from her hips around to her back, her ass, up her back, then down again, wanting to touch all of her.

She let herself get lost in the kiss for a long time; her hands started exploring him without her permission. She didn't come back to herself until she realized, at some point, Lenny had moved them to the bed, him on top of her, running his hand slowly up her leg under her dress, her garter, the tips of his fingers slipping under the lining of her underwear. Reluctantly, regretfully, she reached down and grabbed his hand, stopping him, and she broke the kiss with a groan.

"Lenny…"

"Hmm?" He asked, not letting the end of the kiss bother him, instead moving his attention to her neck.

"Im—mhmm—Imogene is waiting for us."

He groaned into her neck, fingers stopped just as they were about to reach where she needed them most. "Is it too late to cancel?"

She laughed a little, "I wish, but it's okay. Somehow, the stars aligned where neither of us has shows tonight, and someone is watching the children. We actually can have a night to ourselves. Maybe go to dinner with Imogene, then to Upstairs at the Downstairs for a few drinks, ending our night back here after everyone is asleep so we can be as loud as we want."

He groaned one more time, although it was more just for show now. "Fine, as long as we can heckle whoever is on stage tonight."

"Would it be a fun night out if we didn't?"

He chuckled as he stood up, holding his hand out to help Midge up. Once she took it, he pulled her into his arms, "Did I ever tell you, you're the perfect woman?"

She looked up to the sky as if she was thinking really hard, "Maybe once or twice, but I wouldn't mind hearing it a few more times."

He leaned down to kiss her, this time short and sweet. "I think I could manage that."