Author's note?
Uhh... this is my first time doing an author's note. I just wanted to clarify that the things in this fanfic are based on a long series of running gags created by the members of r/PurpleMegaman. Check my profile for specifics.
(Btw, please don't drink lean because of this fanfic, Idk how it feels to do so, I just skimmed the Wiki page.)
Ruined Laboratory
Huff huff huff...
Gunshots and screams could be heard echoing through a dank laboratory. Faceless blue soldiers named Pantheons hunting down members of the resistance. A girl, and her fairy looking companion called a Cyber elf were frantically dashing through it, hearts pounding in fear.
"Why did I come all the way out here?" Ciel thought to herself, running away from an army of Pantheons and golems.
"I sacrificed the lives of so many resistance soldiers, for this stupid hail mary" Ciel continued, her stomach turning as the guilt bulit up inside her "the rumors were false, there's no legendary reploid around here. Just an empty lab."
Ciel's last ditch effort to turn the revolution around had failed. Looking for a Reploid named Zero. A legendary hero who fought to protect the world over 100 years ago. Neo Arcadia knew that Zero would easily turn the rebellion around and be instrumental in their defeat, sending a whole legion of Pantheons after them, even deploying golems to seal the deal. Ciel knew many of the resistance soldiers she brought with her would die, but in the more pragmatic parts of her mind she thought that recruiting Zero would be worth every single member of her forces. Unfortunately she and her men found absolutely nothing, and the Neo Arcadian forces began to catch up to them.
Ciel ran and ran and ran all while her men tried to hold the line to give her a chance to run away. She heard them being mowed down by the dozen while she ran. She was heartbroken at the lives wasted.
huff huff huff...
"what happened, every source I have says he should've been contained here." Ciel thought over to herself, looking around the Abandoned lab she could tell that there wasn't any other Place Zero could potentially be in.
Huff huff huff...
Finally the Transerver was in sight.
The Girl's legs were beginning to give out, she struggled to run any farther, crawling to the Transerver, salvation in sight until...
CRASH
A golem descended down, blocking Ciel's Path. Its imposing figure looming over her exhausted body. Immediately it snatched her in its grasp.
"Ciel can you go on any further?" Asked Passy, Ciel's 'fairy' friend.
"c-ccc-crap". Ciel exclaimed, struggling to breathe in the Golem's grip "I'd s-ss-say it's great that N-Neo Arcadia won't kill me, bbb-ut somet-ttt-times I think I'd prefer d-dd-ddeath".
The atmosphere was completely hopeless, the resistance force has been crushed and their leader compromised. Passy panicked, completely unable to help her friend.
"here, take this."
A mysterious voice emanated from the computers in the back of the room.
..."it seems she won't be able to pick up the gift I have for her." the voice said, now fully realizing Ciel's predicament.
"Wait, I have an idea." the Voice's voice picked up in tone upon realizing it's gameplan. The computer began to steam with heat, the lights flickered on and off, even the room began to shake as the voice gathered up steam for its next move.
Then suddenly a triangular sword burst out of the monitor, roaring through the air and slicing the golem's hand perfectly to free Ciel without cutting her in half. The sword getting stuck in the wall like a dart.
"uhhhhggg... Oh a Weapon!" Ciel exclaimed, gaining an extra burst of energy and scurrying her injured body to the saber. Unfortunately, it's resting place was too high to grab.
"I got this one Ciel!" Passy exclaimed, managing to pull the sword out of the wall.
Ciel picked up the saber and inspected it, then turned her attention to the disarmed Golem.
"AHHHHHAAAAGGGHHHH" stab. Ciel ran in, Yelling out a battle cry before stabbing the Golem directly in its middle.
The golem, being a robot, was pretty unfazed and stared down at Ciel, eyes glowing a bright green.
"unless thats some kind of 'knockout laser', you won't shoot it" Ciel said, calling the mechaniloid's bluff. She assumed that Neo Arcadia mechaniloid's were under order to not kill humans under any circumstance, even rebellious ones. In any other context, she'd be correct.
But today was different. For some reason, the golem simply didn't care about the girl's humanity and opened fire. Ciel barely dodged the attack and got nicked in the leg.
Wincing in pain, Ciel began to panic as the golem's head turned towards her. Out of options, Ciel sat up, took a deep breath, and threw the Saber directly at the Golem's head. The attack landed as the Golem unceremoniously shut off, falling on it's back shortly after.
Ciel breathed heavily as the adrenaline rush ended, crawling over to the saber and digging it out of the Golem's head.
"Good work, that sword belonged to a friend of mine." the voice chimed.
"Wait, who are you?" Ciel asked, but got no answer as the room fell silent.
Ciel looked at the transerver, ready to go home after this extremely eventful day. Crawling towards it and weakly typing in the coordinates of the resistance base.
Resistance base
Ciel returned to the resistance base, being greeted by her allies who stayed behind.
"How was the mission?" Asked Cerveau "and where's everyone else" Cerveau continued, knowing the answer but wanting confirmation.
... Ciel stayed silent, looking directly at the croud before tilting her head down.
"Oh... " Cerveau realized.
"Leeeeet's get you back up, ok" Said a female resistance soldier walking over with her hand outstretched. She had burning red hair in a ponytail, contrasting with the green resistance uniform.
Ciel took her hand and the soldier began helping them up, Ciel than wobbled and nearly fell but was caught by the soldier.
"Woah, you look worse than I thought, uhhh just hold my hand ok" the resistance soldier offered, an offer that Ciel took, than proceeded to put her arm around the soldier's shoulder "Oh you wanna lean on me instead, alright" the resistance soldier said.
The two walked off to the medical bay, leaving the others.
Resistance base(again)
A few days after the incident Ciel has seemingly recovered perfectly. Walking towards Cerveau's lab for a special request.
Cerveau's door slammed open with as the human walked inside and sat down on the nearest chair.
"What the- I didn't know you were secretly Wolverine" Cerveau claimed, amazed at Ciel's speedy recovery.
"I'm a little surprised too, guess I heal a little quick, I've always had that said about me, but I've never been injured beyond minor cuts and bruises" Ciel responded "...Guess I'm a little special."
"anyway, I came here for something special" Ciel said, turning her head to Cerveau. "you're an engineer right, I need you to engineer me a cup of lean."
..."what" Cerveau calmly and flatly exclaimed. "you want me to what."
"I mean you confiscated all my ingredients to make it, you still got them?" Ciel claimed.
"I have them, but I confiscated them because you're an addict!" Cerveau exclaimed.
"that's not true, I got over it, before you took my cough syrup away I only drank 2 cups a day" Ciel claimed.
"You drank through 2 entire bottles of soda one day, who knows how many cups you made out of that!" Cerveau claimed, getting genuinely angry at the Girl's habits.
"So what, we've already established I'm built different" Ciel claimed, pretty much admitting to drinking all of that lean.
"It's... not... healthy" Cerveau said, barely containing his rage.
"But I think better while on lean." Ciel Countered. "Most of my progress on the Ciel system comes from being on lean".
"the progress in question?" Cerveau smugly asked, knowing Ciel's done absolute jack on it.
As the tension in the room rose, suddenly a small, childlike Reploid walked in, holding a cup of purple liquid.
"Hiiiiii Ciel, I got you some lean because you love it so much" Alouette said with a huge "innocent" smile on her face, holding her laughter.
"Alouette! Why do you have that!?" Yelled out Cerveau, tired of dealing with the leanhead who's currently chugging down the entire cup.
"ah, Relax Cerveau, now I can get started on our next move" The high human assured. Getting off of the chair and wobbling her way towards the elevator.
"I should really install some stairs." Cerveau thought to himself before walking off in the other direction.
Ciel's room
Ciel was inside her room, absent mindedly staring at the ceiling from her bed, she hasn't cleaned the room in weeks and it shows. Dirty clothes everywhere, her desk has so much dust you could choke on it and there were enough instant noodle containers to feed a nation.
"Tsk. It's over, I don't have enough manpower to do much of anything anymore" Ciel thought, thinking of her next play in her war with Neo Arcadia "the resistance hasn't gotten any new members in months, so no chance of new members, not that they'd accomplish much. I've lost tons of equipment, so no weapons to outfit any hypothetical people with. Can't get new weapons because we've reached a new level of broke..."
Ciel was hopeless, she's ran out of resources completely, Neo Arcadia has effectively won, and she's just waiting out the days until they find the location of their base and raid it. She turned over in bed and stared at the Z-saber given to her by "the voice". Zero wouldve solved every problem they have. Manpower? He's a one man army. Equipment? He'd probably be sealed with his weapons(or at least thats what Ciel thought) not to mention that according to records from the Jakob project incident he can fight bare handed just fine, and can use glaves, hammers, lances, even hand fans. Pretty much everything you give him is equally deadly in his hands. If Ciel had anything on the level of Zero, even a cheap imitator, it would instantly turn the tide of her rebellion.
Even... a cheap imitator.
Resistance base
Loud whirring filled the resistance base as Ciel worked tirelessly on her new project. Refusing to reveal information so she could surprise the entire resistance with her latest creation.
"I wish Ciel wasn't glued to her stupid new project." Alouette pouted, mad that Ciel didn't have the time to play with her anymore.
"Patience, Alouette." Cerveau lectured "Ciel is putting her all in this mystery project, whatever it is she seems to take great pride in it. She's refused any help I offer, claiming this is something she should do herself."
"Mmmm, I'll go and offer her some lean to relax, that's the quickest way to her heart after all." Alouette explained
"I... ugh." Cerveau groaned "Please don't, this is very serious business for Ciel, I doubt she'd appreciate it"
Unfortunately for the disgruntled reploid, Alouette disappeared in the blink of an eye, ready to give Ciel a cup of lean.
Ciel's lab
"Heeellloooooo." Alouette called out into the darkness.
It was nigh impossible to see anything in the room, although Alouette could see the vague outlines of objects. Some cabinets, a table, a chair with a sleeping Ciel on it, another table with a body on it. Mostly normal stuff.
"zzz... huh? Who's there?" Ciel groggily asked as she woke up. "Oh! Alouette I told you not to come in here, this room has like 5 locks, how did you get in?"
"Maybe they weren't good locks." Alouette remarked.
"where's Passy? I had her standing guard." Ciel asked.
"Oh Passy? I hit them with a flyswatter, I put a bandage on them so they should be fine" Alouette explained
"... I don't have time for this, please get out of here Alouette. I don't wanna make you feel bad but this is top secret work." Ciel said "good thing she can't see anything in this light, otherwise the surprise would be ruined."
"I just wanted to bring you some lean" Alouette explained. "You've been doing this for days so I wanted to give you something that would help you relax."
"Hmmmm... Not a bad idea, you know what? I'll take a quick break, now hand over that lean!" Ciel said, her mind being immediately swayed by the purple drink.
Alouette waddled forwards to give Ciel the lean but tripped over a wire. Ciel dodged the purple drink with ease but her eyes opened with shock as she realized where the beverage was heading towards. The cup splashed all over the Table that had the mysterious body spread out on it.
"No... nonononononononono" Ciel panicked as she turned to find something to dry off her creation.
Alouette recovered from her faceplant and looked around, her face becoming one of panic as she looked at the spilled cup.
"EEK! I'm s-sorry Ciel! I-I just wanted you to h-h-hang out with me." Alouette cried, tears (somehow) streaming down her face.
"It's ok, it's just some liquid." Ciel assured the reploid child, trying to console her. "Ugh, I can't see anything, turn on the light."
Alouette reached for the light, turning it on, revealing thr body left on the table. It was clearly a Reploid, slim build, slightly taller than both of the girls but not very tall, a helmet with beautiful blond hair flowing out in a ponytail, contrasting the rest of the body, which was a blank white. Whatever this reploid was, it's paintjob seemingly hadn't been finished. More alarmingly, it's core was exposed which the lean was seeping into.
"AHHHHHHH!" Ciel yelled as she froze up and panicked. Then, a brilliant plan came into her mind, a very brilliant plan, created in 5 seconds while tired and panicked. She went over... and began to lick the lean off of the reploid.
"Ew sis. What are you doing?" Alouette asked in disgust.
"Ummmm, there's no paper towels to be found in the room, and cleaning the project is a top priority." Ciel said to excuse herself.
"Cerveau was right, you are addicted." Alouette pouted.
"Ok-k maybe a little bit but this is optimal, trust." Ciel said, her voice shaking a little at Alouette's words.
Once Alouette left and closed the door behind her, Ciel continued to diligently lick the Purple elixir off of the blank reploid's body, after a couple of minutes she stood up and stretched, taking a look at her creation, perfectly clean again(besides the core, but she waterproofed it, nothing bad would come out of it). Only one problem, the reploid had its eyes wide open.
Ciel stood in disbelief, THIS was her first interaction with her new creation? How long had it been awake?? What is it gonna say???
"Wait... why did you stop?" Asked the reploid.
Ciel wanted to cry. "I... so you were awake for the whole thing?" She asked
"I was up for the whole thing, when I woke up there were 2 girls panicing over something." The reploid explained. "I was still awaiting some kind of instruction so I just stood still"
"..." Ciel took a deep breath. "So... Welcome to the world, Copy Zero!" She exclaimed
"Copy Zero?" The blank reploid questioned. "Is that my name?"
"Yes! You're a replica of a great warrior from 100 years ago." Ciel explained. "Don't let it get to your head."
"Ok." Said Copy Zero.
As Ciel began to reach out for the replica's hand, he suddenly stopped her.
"Wait one more thing." Copy Zero asked. "Can I have some of the purple stuff that you got on me?"
"eh.. hehehe." Ciel nervously laughed "Uhhhh it wouldn't do anything for you, Reploids are very advanced nowadays but I don't think they can simulate what it's like to be on drugs."
"But!" Ciel blurted." I'll still give you some if you want."
"Ok." Copy Zero flatly responded.
Resistance base
The stage was set, literally. As a giant wooden stage was erected in the middle of the 5th floor. Almost the entire resistance was here, anticipating their leader's announcement.
"For the past month or so, Dr. Ciel has been working tirelessly on her new project." Cerveau said, speaking out of a mic to the crowd...
--
"that's not entirely true." Ciel claimed behind the stage, out of sight and hearing range from everyone else. "I finished you last week, everything else has been teaching you about the world and the state we're in.
"I feel pretty smart, so you must've taught me a lot, Ciel." Copy Zero said.
"G-good one." Ciel said, holding her laughter. "Of course, I can't just endlessly cram your head with crushing reality, so I tried to get you into art and music and other things as well. I wanna teach you how to socialize, but that can't really be done until you meet new people."
"I like Alouette, I listen to her talk all the time, is that socializing?" Copy Zero asked.
"Of course!" Ciel exclaimed.
"Now one last thing." Ciel said, sighing and closing her eyes briefly. "I've asked you this like 10 times now, but do you really wanna be a member of the resistance? You don't have to, I won't force you, or convince you."
"Of course I want to join the resistance, that's what I was created for." Copy Zero flatly stated.
"...Sure, I won't question your reasoning." Ciel said, a little dejected at the copy's answer.
"Now are you ready to get out there Zero?" Ciel asked.
"Sure" Copy Zero responded.
--
A hand popped out of the curtain, giving a thumbs up. The crowd erupted in cheer as Ciel stepped out onto the stage.
"Uhhh... Thanks for coming everybody." Ciel nervously said "for a resistance leader I sure suck at giving speeches."
"I'd like to unveil my newest creation" Ciel announced, getting the speech back on track. "Come on out!"
Then a chrome foot stepped out of the curtain, slightly trembling. The resistance looked in confusion. Ciel was trying to encourage them to get on stage. Slowly, the chrome reploid fully stepped out, his blonde hair sticking out as the only color on his body. Most were confused by the sight but some members of the crowd began to cheer, and not wanting to be left out, everyone else followed the people cheering.
"This, is Copy Zero" Ciel explained. "We were unsuccessful in finding the original Zero, a legendary reploid who would've instantly turned the tide of our war with Neo Arcadia."
"So I decided to take a crack at it, and create my very own duplicate!" Ciel exclaimed.
Copy Zero blankly waved at the crowd, not sure of what to do.
"Uhhh, Copy Zero, anything you wanna say to the people?" Ciel asked, holding a microphone up to the duplicate.
"No." The copy stated.
"Ciel! Ciel, it's urgent!" Yelled out a voice.
Suddenly, a red haired reploid came running towards the stage, clearly in some sort of panic.
"What happened soldier?" Ciel asked
"My team... th-they were captured by Neo Arcadia a-and I think they were s-ss-sent to the Disposal Center." The reploid answered, holding back tears(again how)
"The Disposal Center!?" Ciel exclaimed in a panic.
"Tsk, no no no. That's guarded by a Mythos Reploid, we struggle against mechaniloids, there's no way we can get past that." Ciel was lost in her thoughts. "Copy Zero could probably do it, but he only has a week of experience. And even then it's only watching training videos, he hasn't even sparred before."
Ciel was beginning to pace around the stage.
"Boss, are you ok?" Copy Zero asked.
"Um... n-no sorry" Ciel blurted out. "I was just lost in thought about our situation."
"You can send me, that's my job after all." Suggested the Copy.
"Hmmmmmmmm... sorry, I don't think you have the experience to take down a Mythos reploid." Ciel said. "No offense"
"Makes sense." Copy Zero agreed.
"But someone has to save those reploids." Ciel pondered.
"Wait!" Ciel exclaimed. "I'll go."
The crowd murmured in confusion at their leader's decision to risk her life, or more accurately, throw it away.
"NA doesn't allow its reploids or mechaniloids to harm humans, I won't get killed, just captured." Ciel reassured the resistance.
"That's still bad." a crowd member from the back blurted out.
"...Whatever, just know that I'll be out on a mission for the next couple of hours." Ciel stated "the Disposal Center is a decent walk away from here and there's no transporter that I know of near it."
"Copy Zero, this is the first time I won't be by your side, so just listen to Cerveau's orders until I get back ok." Ciel explained.
"Ok! I'm gonna go practice." Copy Zero stated with a slight excitement in his voice.
"Bye!" Ciel waved goodbye at the resistance as she took the elevator up to her room to get in gear.
Disposal Center
Ciel was tired, she's had Spikings(now you know the name of those enemies) nearly drop on her head, chased by pantheons, and trudged through rain and wind that nearly swept her off her feet. But finally she made it. She'll sneak in, save her comrades and return home. She's right at the entrance, now she just needs a way in.
CRASH
"Ooh, looks like I hit the jackpot." Said the intimidating reploid standing behind Ciel.
"Tsk, Aztec Falcon correct?" Said Ciel, clearly familiar with this guy.
"In the... well not flesh." Joked the Mythos Reploid.
Ciel immediately drew her Z-saber out of her pocket and slashed at Aztec's face, leaving a deep gash in it. The reploid staggered for a bit but quickly got over the pain
"Ow! You actually hurt me a little." Aztec Falcon remarked. "You didn't hurt me enough though." He added, priming his electric arms and aiming them at the human
"Now stand down and surrender yourself" The reploid commanded.
"Yes! I'll be the one to return Ciel to Neo Arcadia, then I'll get the promotion I've always wanted. I'll climb up the ranks and before you know it, it'll be the 5 guardians mmmhehehaha." Aztec Falcon fantasized "Sage Harpuia will be so proud of me, they'll make statues a-and parades and-"
BANG
The birdbrain's train of thought was interrupted by a charged energy pellet to the head. His head ached in pain as the sound of footsteps grew farther and farther away, Ciel was trying to escape, running through the front door of the Disposal Center.
"Ohh, urg... Wait! Get back here!" Yelled Aztec Falcon, dashing after her.
Ciel quickly found herself at a dead end. She closed the door behind her and readied her buster when voices echoed across the room
"Help! Anyone!" Cried out the voices.
"Hello?" Ciel responded.
"Below you." The voices said "We've been falsely accused of being Mavericks, let us out!"
"Don't worry, I'll get you all outta here" Ciel reassured them.
Suddenly the door opened, Aztec Falcon staring down the girl. BANG? The shot did significantly less damage than last time, due to the reploid not being caught in an internal monologue. "Nice try. What was your plan?" Taunted the Mythos Reploid "You wanna save these guys?"
Aztec's eyes glowed for a brief moment and suddenly the floor below them began to slowly drop.
"You have ~1 minute and 15 seconds before all your friends get squished." Said Aztec Falcon, his voice barely containing his sadistic glee.
"Nothing I use is gonna work on him, the buster isn't doing enough damage and theres no was I can last long enough in a close range fight to use the saber effectively." Ciel thought to herself.
Ciel was beginning to lose hope, the sound of footsteps got louder and louder as Ciel dropped her weapon and began to- wait a minute those aren't Aztec's footsteps
KICK
Aztec Falcon went flying into the wall behind Ciel, she began to look up at her savior and saw a figure that left her in shock. Slightly taller than herself, 2 holsters on his thighs, Long blonde hair in a ponytail, a pair of triangular sunglasses on his face? And decked out in... purple armor?. There was no way the sight Ciel was seeing actually existed
It was Copy Zero... but with a whole new look.
"Copy Zero is that you?" Ciel asked
"Mmmm yeah. But I don't go by that name anymore." He Responded
"what." Ciel flatly exclaimed. "Did he pick out his own name?"
Meanwhile in the back, Aztec Falcon was beginning to return to his senses. He got up and turned to face his new opponent.
"Hey! I was in the middle of getting my ticket to a promotion." Aztec Falcon said with rage. "Who do you think you are?"
The Mythos Reploid charged in anger, electrifying his arm and raising it over his head to swing at Copy Zero.
"Who am I?" Copy Zero said in disbelief. He easily blocked the reploid's extremely telegraphed attack and held his head down before saying. "I'm Z-Diddy now."
The newly named reploid began his offense, kicking Aztec in the stomach and backhanding him in the face. The Mythos tried to throw a punch but it was countered easily.
During this whole exchange, Ciel was in disbelief. "'Z-Diddy'? What happened to him, he's been unsupervised for 2 hours. Did Hirondelle do this?"
Aztec Falcon was also in disbelief at Z-Diddy, although for different reasons. "What's up with this guy? I can't land a single-" WACK. Aztec Falcon's train of thought was delayed for a second time that day, as Z-Diddy hit him with a right hook and got in position to kick him in the back of the knee. Falcon kneels and Z-Diddy's face gains a massive grin, he gets behind him, grabs his arms and puts his foot on Aztec's back.
"Now, I'm gonna give you backshots." The Diddler whispered into Aztec Falcon's ears.
"What the- Who taught him that stuff?" Ciel thought.
"Wait, we can talk about this." Bargained Aztec Falcon in a panic
Z-Diddy began to put pressure on Aztec's back, pulling his arms at the same time. The sickening sound of creaking metal became louder and louder until SNAP. Both of Aztec's arms left their sockets as the mutilated Mythos fell to the ground. Aztec Falcon looked up in horror, seeing Z-Diddy holding the arms in his hands before tossing them aside. Gathering his resolve, Aztec dashed away from Zero and looked down, charging up for an extremely strong dash attack.
"Ciel!" Z-Diddy yelled, snapping her back to reality. "Give me the Z-Saber."
Ciel threw the deactivated hilt at the purple doppelgänger right as Aztec Falcon finished charging up. He dashed towards Z-Diddy like a rocket, determined to finish him off, but just barely Z-Diddy managed to activate his saber, hold it over his head, and
SLICE
Swing downwards, vertically splitting the reploid in 2.
Immediately afterwards, the platform began to stop moving downwards. Cheers could be heard below the 2 blondes.
"Good job Zero." Ciel said. "I actually made a mental note of the time limit we were under, we had like 15 seconds left. Aren't we-"
"My name is Z-Diddy, remember it" He corrected.
"...Sorry, Z-Diddy." Ciel conceded. "Anyway, let's save these guys."
Outside Disposal Center
"All in a good days work huh Zero." Ciel chatted, trying to fill the void while the group walked back home.
"It's... Z... Diddy." He stressed. "Like the rapper, P-Diddy. You know him?"
"uhhhh, doesn't ring a bell no." Ciel answered. "Why name yourself after that guy anyway, what's so important about him?"
"I don't know, my memory isn't the greatest but I guess the music just imprinted on me." Z-Diddy reasoned, not knowing the answer.
"Whatever, anyway I wanted to give you this." Ciel reached into her pocket, pulling out some kind of panel with an electric symbol on it. "It's a electric chip, it'll give you powers if you use it. I'll show you how it works when we get back ok."
"Where'd you get it from?" Z-Diddy asked.
"Aztec's corpse." Ciel answered, as if it was a completely normal thing to say.
"The boss seems like she's a little hardcore." Z-Diddy thought to himself.
"Tsk, there's something still on my mind." Ciel thought. "What was that Golem's deal? Why did it attack me? Was it a malfunction? Or... was it ordered to attack me?.."