Author's note
Whenever you see a * that means there's something I wanna talk about that'll be resolved in the end of chapter author's note
Resistance Base
It has been 2 weeks since "Z-Diddy" was brought into the world, in that timespan the people in his life have come to one conclusion...
"He's annoying." Ciel flatly stated, having flashbacks to when he ruined Karaoke night by singing 'sus remixes' of popular songs, changing the lyrics to be about gay sex.
--
"I hate that guy." Cerveau emphasized, remembering when The Diddler in question ruined his latest invention by taking out a single screw.
--
"he's... not the greatest." A female resistance soldier claimed, trying to be nice. "But he did put Glue in my hair, then photographed it to make it look like... something else. Ugh, can you go to the next person already."
--
"'Z-Diddy'? He sounds pretty cool." Claimed a purple clad reploid in a trenchcoat.
"CUT!" Yelled out Alouette, she had her plushie dressed up as a reporter, even holding a microphone in the same hand as her plush to make it look like the toy was holding it instead of her. "This was an interview about people's opinion on you Z-Diddy, you yourself can't give an opinion!"
"What are you talking about? I don't even know who 'Z-Diddy' is, I just think he sounds awesome and sexy." The mysterious reploid explained, holding back laughter.
"Ugh." Alouette groaned, mad at Z-Diddy for not taking her interview seriously. "You weren't even supposed to know about this interview, I planned to do it on a day you were on a mission so you definitely wouldn't be here."
"Oh that... I overheard you planning this out, so I decided to play hooky to mess with you!" Z-Diddy loudly admitted to.
"Oop! Uhhh, don't tell Ciel I'm here by the way." Z-Diddy whispered
"Zeeeerrooooo." A voice called out. "Whyyy arrreeee yooouuu heeeerrreeee."
"Shit."
"also it's 'Z-Diddy', remember it!" Zero Yelled out!
Ciel's room
"I won't punish you." Ciel stated, clearly not pleased with the reploid's antics.
"YEAH!" Z-Diddy yelled out into the air, jumping out of his seat.
"That's because I have a mission for you, much harder than the one you were going to undertake." Ciel added with a fake smile on her face.
"Mythos Reploid?" Z-Diddy asked, sitting back down with minor disappointment.
"Yep."
"His name is 'Maha Ganeshariff', we've been trying to retrieve this data from an abandoned lab, but he's been guarding it. The place is infested with Mechaniloids now, and I dread to imagine fighting their boss. He should be almost done at this point, so it's up to you to get over there and defeat him." Ciel lengthily explained.
"Sure, sounds fun." Z-Diddy said
"Alright, it's settled, Zero, get to the tra-"
"It's 'Z-Diddy', I didn't know you had such a bad memory." Corrected the Diddler.
"Right... anyway go do your job." Ciel dismissively said, pushing Z-Diddy out of her room.
"That guy really brings out the worst in me."
Resistance base - transporter room
"Bye Zero, see you soon." Ciel said, waving goodbye until Z-Diddy grabbed her arm.
"It's 'Z-Diddy', you keep doing this."
"Sorry." Ciel apologized.
Suddenly, the elevator dinged and Alouette came running towards the two, jumping up to give Z-Diddy a massive hug.
"Good luck ok." The child added.
"I think the other guy is the one who needs luck on his side." Z-Diddy confidently claimed. "I'll be back before Dinner."
"Diddy you can't eat remember?" Ciel stated. "Or at least, not eat anything that isn't E-Crystals."
"Yeah..." Alouette said with her head held down. "Whenever I try to drink water it goes right through me."
"Stop doing that by the way, I'm tired of cleaning up your puddles."
"I'm sorry, but I feel thirsty sometimes despite the fact I can't drink." Alouette explained.
"Yeah... sometimes reploids run into those problems, their minds are built to 'act human', so sometimes they do things to affirm themselves as human. Even if they intellectually know they can't." Ciel pondered, getting lost in thought over reploid psychology. "It's a problem pretty much every reploid will run into at some point, I hope this doesn't become too serious for her in the future."
"Hey Ciel." Alouette called out, poking her in the stomach. "Are you ok, you've been standing there all zoned out. Z-Diddy left."
"Huh." Exclaimed Ciel, snapping back to reality. "Oh, I was just thinking about something, don't worry about it."
Ruined Laboratory
Z-Diddy touched down in the dank laboratory, the air instantly invading his senses. Walking out into the next room his feet immediately got splashed by dirty water, he saw a group of messed up monitors on the wall, illuminating the corpse of a golem.
"Man this place sucks." Z-Diddy monologued.
"Agreed, I was here once... wasn't a good time." Said a voice coming from Z-Diddy's head.
"Who's there!" Z-Diddy exclaimed. "If you're hot, then get out here. Your voice sounded pretty sexy."
"Zero, it's me, Ciel." Ciel explained. "I'm talking to you via communicator."
"Oh." Z-Diddy flatly said, the awkwardness setting in. "Well... your voice may be hot, but the rest of you isn't!"
"Let's... just move on from this."
And so they did. Z-Diddy dashed out of the room, initially being stumped by the 'dead end' he landed in, only to look up. He sighed before Wall jumping upwards, making careful movements to not tou- Zzap. After getting shocked by the Ray Blade Z-Diddy Made extra careful movements, this time actually making it all the way up.
"Pay attention." Ciel reminded.
"Yea yea yea I will." Z-Diddy said, dismissively shooing away Ciel before running headfirst into a Crush Roller, the spikes digging into his head and neck.
"Ow! If I was a human it would be so over for me." Z-Diddy lamented, waiting until the Roller rose up again
Miraculously, the holes in his nape immediately began to heal themselves fully, thanks to his auto repair systems.
"Focus!" Yelled out Ciel.
"Ok ok ok, I'll lock in." Z-Diddy exasperatingly promised.
The Purple reploid took a deep breath despite lacking lungs, striking a pose and readjusting his glasses, he dashed forward, perfectly reacting to everything thrown at him, dodging shots from the Seal Cannons, dashing under the Ray Blades and waiting out the Crush Rollers. Eventually, he managed to reach a largde door.
"Be careful Zero, I think this is where the Mythos Reploid is." Ciel warned.
"Great." Z-Diddy responded, fearlessly walking through the door.
Boss Room
Z-Diddy stepped in the room, splashing his feet in the ankle deep water. On the other side of it, an elephant reploid, green in color had it's back turned to the wall. Reaching in for a closer look, Z-Diddy dashed forwards, stopping in his tracks when the machine turned around.
"Who are you?" Asked the elephant reploid. "Leave immediately, this place is restricted access for non Neo Arcadians."
"I'm 'Z-Diddy', the Mechanical Menace, the Sexual Swordsman and the Raunchy Reploid!" Claimed the purple reploid, firing off titles
"When did he get the time to make those titles?" Ciel Wondered
"A swordsman?" The Elephant Pondered. "Are you the same person who Bisected Aztec Falcon a Fortnight ago?"
"Pfft, Fortnite." Z-Diddy giggled. "Uhh yeah, he was really annoying, so if you worked with him at any point, you can thank me."
………
"My name is Maha Ganeshariff, and in the name of Neo Arcadia, I will personally execute you." Explained the Mythos.
"Get outta here with that Sailor Moon ass deceleration, I'll reunite you with your coworker in less than five minutes." Boasted Z-Diddy, getting closer until the two were face to face... with Z-Diddy having to look up at the elephant because of his small stature.
WARNING
Z-Diddy immediately regretted his decision to get in close as Maha Ganeshariff proceeded to slap him dozens of times. The Diddler, in a fit of rage, swung his saber at the Elephant, only to get his sword caught.
"Predictable."
Ganeshariff threw the saber out of Z-Diddy's hands, jumping back and turning into a ball, thankfully he dodged the mechanical boulder with reletive ease.
"And you're stupid." Z-Diddy responded, gunning for his sword.
Maha proved that he wasn't stupid by Firing his tusks at the purple menace, following up by attaching his trunk to the ceiling and moving back and forth, gaining the momentum to swing over to Z-Diddy.
CRASH
Z-Diddy stopped in his tracks, making it very convenient for the tusks traveling towards him, now they could finally catch up! With both digging into his back
"Shit this guy's giving me double backsh-"
The Diddler's train of thought was stopped right before it finished its newest stupid sentence with a clean uppercut, sending him into the ceiling.
Z-Diddy flew into the air, getting stuck in the ceiling of the lab.
"Z-Diddy, use the gift I gave you!" Ciel yelled out, trying to save her creation from certain doom.
Meanwhile, Maha Ganeshariff was currently charging up a massive rolling attack, sure to flatten our... hero? When suddenly
CRAZZAP
Maha Ganeshariff's systems were filled with electricity, forcing him out of his ball form and making him twitch. After a little bit, he managed to get up, seeing Z-Diddy with his saber thrusted into the arena's water.
"Listening to the fight, I realized the area you guys were fighting in was filled with water." Ciel explained. "Water conducts electricity, therefore the electricity would travel throughout the arena and into Maha's feet!"
"Although, the electricity will spread out in water, so your electric attacks are going in every direction, they might not even hit depending on the distance between you two." Ciel continued. "Keep a medium range, use the buster to hold him off while charging up charged Z-Sabers."
"Intelligent move, you caught me off guard there." Maha admitted, throwing out another pair of tusks he grew.
Z-Diddy dodged the tusks easily, "one." however he saw Ganeshariff rolling over to him, trying to catch him mid-dash. "Two." The Mythos was moving at top speed, now only inches away from his enemy, this was it, Vic- "Three."
ZZAP
Electricity once again paralyzed Maha in place, with Z-Diddy taking the opportunity to slash at him over and over again. Maha regained his senses even faster this time, attacking with a hundred palm strikes. He barely managed to overpower Z-Diddy's onslaught and slapped him away. Not without massive damage to his hands of course.
"Damn it!" Maha Ganeshariff mentality exclaimed while regenerating his hands. "This guy's strategy is good, he charges annoyingly fast. I need to know the exact time it takes for him to charge, then plan around it, get the sword off of his hands and defeat him. Last time, it was 3 seconds, I need to know if that time is consistent or not."
Meanwhile, Maha rolled after Z-Diddy. Due to Maha's extreme mental processing speed, it hasn't been a long time since he came up with his strategy. "One." The Diddler was shooting mostly ineffective buster shots, as Maha's boulder form was seemingly immune to damage, or at leasy any damage he's tried to inflict on it. "Two."
"Here it is."
"three."
ZZAP
Lightning once again crackled across the battlefield but this time with no target in sight. The Mythos was nowhere to be seen.
CRASH
Maha Crashed down on Z-Diddy, crushing his chest and making his saber fly off into the ceiling.
"I learned the timing of your attack, and I countered it by leaving the ground entirely, making the electricity down below useless." Maha Ganeshariff explained. "You were a formidable opponent, but unfortunately my wits were sup-"
splash
"Huh."
"Made. You. Look." Z-Diddy slowly said, his buster pointed at Ganeshariff's head.
Bang
Z-Diddy shot his semi-charged buster shot straight at his opponent's head, the force causing Maha's body to lift up just slightly enough for Z-Diddy to escape.
"Man I got lucky, but I'll act like that was intentional." Z-Diddy thought to himself.
"When I saw you falling on top of me, I threw my saber into the ceiling, specifically at such an angle that it would dislodge quickly and fall into the water, distracting you, allowing me to shoot you.
"Hmm, clever." Maha admitted, giving respect to his opponent, not knowing Z-Diddy made all that up.
"This isn't all bad, I can play keep away with his saber now." Strategized the Mythos Reploid.
"Well you aren't dead, but you're in a bad spot right now." Ciel commented.
"I've been so locked in, I can't think of any jokes." Z-Diddy thought to himself.
The two reploids stared each other down, nither of them willing to make a move...
…
…
"FUCK THIS!" Z-Diddy Yelled out, rushing at Ganeshariff.
The Diddler opened fire on Maha, but the Elephant perfectly blocked the shots with his palm strikes. Z-Diddy sidestepped away from the palms, only for Ganeshriff to stop palming, and turn around to face him. The Mythos tried to tackle him to the floor, but Z-Diddy barely managed to end his dash in time to dash away from the tackle.
"This fatass is super annoying now." Z-Diddy complained.
"Wait! I saw back there... he stopped his palm strike attack to turn around hehehe." Realized the purple reploid. "So I need to get him in a position where he HAS to palm strike when he's turned away from the Z-Saber.Nonono, he reacts too fast. I need to be faster than last time!"
Z-Diddy rushed Maha yet again, mostly doing the same stuff as before, running and shooting. In response, Maha also did the same thing, blocking with Palm strike.
"What is this reploid's plan, doesn't he know the definition of insanity?" Pondered Ganeshariff.
Z-Diddy was insane, but not exactly in the way Maha Ganeshariff was thinking about. He crouched down, fired even more shots, and jumped up into the air, vaulting over the Elephant reploid, unable to respond to his movements.
Z-Diddy came down with a splash, running over to his saber and picking it up, ready to fight once more.
Maha, Finally being able to turn around to face his opponent, immediately panicked and threw his tusks at the Diddler. Only for them to be Pistol-Wipped away. "One."
Maha Ganeshariff, enraged, ran at Z-Diddy, surprising the reploid with his speed. "Two."
This was it, all Maha had to do was smack the saber out of Z-Diddy's hands. It's only been 2.40 seconds. He can do it, he raised his hand, ready to slap the sword out of its owner's hand. 2.50 seconds. Z-Diddy's face grew nervous, was he actually gonna lose on his First ever misson? 2.60 seconds...
ZZAP
It was over. Somehow, Z-Diddy managed to fully charge his saber in less than three seconds. Maha was stunned in every sense of the word, but it didn't matter now. Z-Diddy used the opportunity to slice his head off, with a manic smile on his face.
"H-How." Ganeshariff's head asked.
"Huh? Did you count wrong or something? My Z-Saber charge isn't three seconds, it's a little bit less than that." Z-Diddy casually admitted. "Ciel gave me an exact time, but I forgot what it was."
"Easy to assume, it's like less than half a second off of three seconds, who cares. I said 'Three' because it was cooler." Z-Diddy continued. "Did I even say 'one two three' or is that something for the audience. Eh."
"Ciel, what do I do with this guy?" Z-Diddy asked.
"You can crush his head, the data inside his body will be fine." Ciel explained.
"Ohhhhhhh that's why I was fighting you." Z-Diddy realized. "I completely forgot."
"Uhh anyway." CRUNCH
"How do I get the Data." Z-Diddy asked.
"Just leave it to me!" Ciel said.
Suddenly , the room began to shake, a piller of stone falling onto the floor.
"Huh?"
"Damn it the ceiling is collapsing, had to have the last laugh huh." Z-Diddy complained.
Z-Diddy made a run for it, dashing away from the falling ceiling, only for the door to close on him.
"Open the door!" Z-Diddy yelled, banging on the door
Thankfully, with some persuasion(his saber) the door opened up. This continue for a minute or two, Z-Diddy running for his life, violently opening doors until he reached the pit he had to climb up at the beginning, jumping down with no hesitation.
"I think we're safe." Ciel said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"That was annoying." Z-Diddy remarked
"Whatever, just get back to base."
Resistance Base
"So, you might be wondering what happened to Maha Ganeshariff's data." Ciel said, addressing Z-Diddy and Cerveau.
"Not really."
Ciel glared at the Diddler before continuing her speech. "Unfortunately I couldn't get all of his data, that lab collapsing destroyed his body, and a lot of the stuff inside it as well."
"But!" Ciel exclaimed, interrupting herself. "I managed to find blueprints on weapons in there."
Z-Diddy's face lit up with excitement
"Yes, soon you'll get all new toys to play with!" Ciel exclaimed.
"YEAH!" Z-Diddy jumped into the air celebrating.
"I have my work cut out for me." Cerveau groaned.
Today's Baddie: Maha Ganeshariff!
"Welcome to "Today's Baddie" a series where we rank and analyze the different Mythos Reploids Z-Diddy fights!" Ciel exclaimed.
"Wait. Is this a Murcièlago reference." Z-Diddy wondered. "If so than that's awesome!"
"In-Universe, no. In a meta sense, yeah!" Ciel explained, shattering the fourth wall. "Anyway, we'll be ranking their stats from A to E, with S and F being special exceptions, reserved for the best of the best, or the worst of the worst."
Maha Ganeshariff
Power: B
(Z: That guy packed a punch, damn.)
Speed: D(C in ball form)
(C: Good thing you can run circles around him huh.)
Intelligence: A
(Z: Maha definitely knew a thing or two, he was really good at covering his weaknesses. C: His job has him absorb all types of knowledge, I'd expect him to be smart.)
Skill: B
(C: this tier is pretty subjective, but I think B works fine right? Z: Yeah)
Durability: A
(C: originally this was "Charisma" right? Z: Yes, but I don't think that's a particularly important stat, so I replaced it with durability.)
Abnormality: E
(C: So the higher they rank, the stranger they are right? Z: Yes, that guy was pretty normal all thinks considered.)
"We... forgot Aztec Falcon unfortunately. Hopefully we can do him soon!" Ciel apologized.
Author's Note
*When I came up with the "timer" gimmick, I actually booted up Z1 and checked how long it took me to charge. It was a little under three seconds, so that's how I came up with the resolution to today's fight scene.