Winter's Refuge
Chapter One Hundred Seventy
HEYES
It was hard leaving Rocky behind bars, even in Frank's jail cell. The Kid lingered until Deputy Preston told him he had to go. "He can have visitors tomorrow, sir," the young man said.
"Not sir. Mr. Curry will do," the Kid answered.
Frank followed us out. I can tell he feels bad about this, too. But it's not his fault. He's doing his job. Lom and Father Patrick were sitting, waiting, on the bench outside the sheriff's office.
"Jed, how are you feeling?" The priest asked the Kid the question I'd be tired of hearing. But he told me he's not. It reminds him he can ask for help.
"Angry. Guilty. Sad. I failed Rocky," he answered. Holding up the palm of his hand to them, he added, "Know I need to talk about this, but not now. Not today. Need to get home and get to work. Have a lot of things waitin' for me and I don't have Rocky's help for a while." He started toward the livery.
Frank caught up to him. "Jed, wait. I promised Aiden I'd be there when you're working in the blacksmith shop."
The Kid stopped and looked at Frank blankly. Then I saw anger flare up in the Kid and rushed to stand next to him, shoulders touching.
"Frank, I don't need a keeper. I ain't ever gonna try and kill myself again. I gave you all and Aiden and Chrissy, my word…and I keep my word." His words sounded calm, almost friendly, but I know that tone. It's one of controlled frustration and anger.
I stepped between them. "Frank, you're welcome to come back to Phoenix with us. The Kid won't work past sundown. And I can use your help. We're expanding the blacksmith shop."
"No hurry on that, Heyes. You stop that for now. Can't use it until Rocky's workin' with me again," the Kid said bitterly.
Frank ignored the comment. "Glad to help, Heyes," he said almost too cheerily.
Father Patrick and Lom had been walking a few steps behind, talking. Now Father caught up with us. "Jed, if I won't be an imposition, I'd like to stay at Phoenix until Aiden comes back. I'm still staying in his spare room. I saw a lot in the last few days and think I'll need some help working through it. And the nights are the worst."
The Kid took a deep breath, but I could tell from his eyes that the worst of his anger had passed. He looked from our houseguest, Lom, to me to Frank to Father Patrick, sighed and smiled. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like, Father, and I'll help you live with what you saw, but you'll never really understand it until you've experienced it. Thank you, all of you, for carin' enough to help me. I think this time, it's me and Heyes that need to talk it out together."
JED 'KID' CURRY
Frank insisted on babysittin' me while I worked in the smithy. I understand he promised Aiden, but he needs to understand that I intend to go home, hug my family, eat, and work the rest of the day. And tomorrow, I'm gettin' up at sunrise to practice my shootin' and workin' the rest of the day as a blacksmith. I know my back and my ankle will ache, but pain doesn't scare me.
The ladies cried over Rocky's sentence, then went about bakin' sweets to take to him tomorrow. Usin' my cane, less than before, I walked down to the shop with Frank. Neither of us talked. I got a lot of feelin's to think about and this is new to me. But today guilt and failin' Rocky dominated my thoughts. I need to learn how to work things out by myself. But I want to talk to Heyes alone tonight. I know he's feelin' the same things. I can tell it in his face. He can't keep his emotions off it like he used to. He's getting better at it, but I can tell.
Frank watched as I put up the three sides of the shop and started the forge. I wrapped a bandana around my head and put on my apron. "Frank, I suggest you wrap this over your hair," I said, throwin' him a clean navy bandana. He did as I said. He walked into the back room filled with things people left to be fixed. The table, desk, chairs, bed were full, and it was overflowin' onto the floor.
"Where do you start?" he asked.
"Can't do anything till the fire is hot enough. I'll start with things on the bed and work my way around the room."
"Hello, Mr. Curry? Are you available to shoe my dear horse, Alexa?" asked Mr. Dwyer, as he pulled up in his small two-person buggy.
I smiled. Mr. Dwyer still comes to Sunday dinner once or twice a month. He'd like to court Auntie, but she'll have none of it. "Leave her here, Mr. Dwyer, and I'll work on her next. Why don't you go on up to the house? I believe Auntie is bakin' cookies."
I cleaned Alexa's hooves and put two new shoes on her. Frank wandered over and looked at the almost complete Ken's Shoe and Boot Emporium, just waitin' for him and Mary to return from helpin' his ma take care of Karl. Finished with the horse, I went into the back room and chose two knives from the bed I could repair easily. Settin' them on my anvil, I started to work a broken blade out of its handle with a pair of pliers.
"Jed, do you have to work with knives today?" asked Frank, nervously.
I repeated to myself that he's here as a concerned friend before I answered sharply. I credit his concern with savin' my life, so I just said, "They need to be fixed. You want to help? Pull that blade out of the handle. You'll find pliers hangin' on the wall."
"I just meant…" Frank started, but I interrupted him.
"Trust me, Frank, please. Just gonna repair the knives, not use them on myself," I told him.
He smiled. "Glad to hear you confirm that. Was thinking you're so fast that if you wanted to hurt yourself, I couldn't stop you."
"Good thing I'll never do that again."
And so it went the rest of the day. Frank seemed nervous about almost everything sharp I worked on. Friendship, I reminded myself, he's doin' this out of friendship. Heyes had agreed to put workin' on the addition off until close to the time Rocky came home.
HEYES
I went down to the blacksmith shop before sundown. The log was locked in Frank's safe. It also had the list of who brought in what in to be repaired. So I made another log and asked Kid what he'd done today and how much he had charged. He just smiled.
"Well, I shoed Mr. Dwyer's Alexa," he started.
"How many shoes?" I asked.
"Two."
"Where's the money you took in today? Just give it all to me," I said.
He took off his bulky glove and reached into his pocket. "Just got the money for the shoes. The other things I fixed are right there. Have to let the people know they're ready." He put a crumpled bill and two coins on his anvil.
He'd worked hard today. Each completed piece was labeled with a name in what I assume is Frank's writing. "Well, I can write out invoices and Michael and Martha can deliver them after school tomorrow. You need to tell me how much you charge for each one." I started making a list of the items I saw.
"Heyes, feel bad that I didn't do them more quickly. Don't think I want to charge them anything," the Kid said with a voice filled with regret.
I know that for the Kid regret leads to depression and feelings of worthlessness. I was thinking how to word my reply, but Frank erupted before I could answer.
"JED CURRY, you and I have labored in this extremely hot forge most of the day. I've watched you wince while lifting a plow by yourself and saw your arm start to shake with the strain of holding a big stewpot in the fire so you could repair it. It's only two steps from the forge to the anvil, but you limp taking those. You are the blacksmith for Three Birds and most of this county. We rely on you and your quality. DO NOT UNDERVALUE yourself. Charge your full price…and, if you want my opinion, your prices are too low. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Frank said firmly, punctuating his words by hitting the Kid in the chest with his finger. Few people are brave enough to do that.
I didn't know what to expect from the Kid in response. He watched Frank's finger hit him in the apron each time he made a point. The Kid doesn't let it show much, but he has a temper. He gave Frank his gunfighter stare and the sheriff took a big step back. Don't know many men that can stand strong when facing that glare. It was so quiet that I swear I could hear the sooty sweat dripping off the men. I didn't know what was going on in the Kid's thoughts. I need to keep peace here, so I said, "Maybe it's time you call it an early day here, Kid."
He turned his frightening gaze on me, but it immediately softened into a smile and a wink. Frank hadn't moved. The Kid went and put his hands on Frank's shoulders. "You're right, my friend, my prices are low, but I do that on purpose. I still make a nice profit. This town and these people accepted three ex-convicts as neighbors and welcomed us. Can't see chargin' higher prices just because I ain't got any competition. Heyes, what do you think?"
"How about all these jobs that got delayed get a fifty-per-cent discount? We'll even show it on the invoice. Say something like thank you for your patronage and patience?" Heyes suggested.
The Kid smiled. "Works for me." He turned to Frank. "You agree or do you think I'm still undervaluin' myself?" He was serious, but the words were almost teasing, more testing.
"I think I understand more about Jed Curry the man now. And Heyes, I think that's a good solution," Frank said. "Let's say I help you clean up for the day? You planning on working tomorrow, Jed?"
"Gonna start about an hour after sunup. You're welcome to join me," the Kid said.
"I'll be here," Frank said with resignation.
JED 'KID' CURRY
After dinner, me and Heyes sat in the rockin' chairs on the front porch. He was holdin' Josiah. I was burpin' his Nettie.
"Heyes, I know you feel guilty about not bein' home when Rocky got that letter but I been thinkin' and he could have gone to Angie or Juan. He just kept it to himself."
He looked at me then smiled at Josiah. "You're right. Didn't think about that. Think your son is smiling back at me," Heyes said.
"He's a happy baby," I said. "Heyes, do you remember if I was a happy baby?"
"A very happy baby. Really remember you as a toddler, quiet but smiling. You were the last baby. All the adults adored you. Spoiled you," Heyes answered. "Hate to admit it but I was jealous…until you got old enough to play with."
Smilin', I got back to what was on my mind. "Heyes, need to talk to you. Ask your advice."
He could have reminded me how I hadn't talked to him earlier but he didn't. He just said, "Sure, Kid," and started to rock Josiah to sleep.
"Frank and everyone, except you, is watchin' me like a fox stalkin'' a chicken. I know it's out of concern and friendship but it's makin' me nervous and uncomfortable. Reminds me of the prison guards. I appreciate you not watchin' over my shoulder when I practice shootin'. Don't know what to do to convince them they don't need to be with me all the time."
"Saw you were angry at Frank today. Haven't seen that gunfighter steel gray look in your eyes in a while," Heyes told me.
"Would have yelled at him if you didn't step in. Thank you," I said.
He was quiet for a minute. "Maybe that's what you need to do. Get angry and yell at one of them for their vigilant surveillance. That's what you'd do when one of the gang got on your nerves."
I nodded thinkin' about it. "Heyes, I really am fine now. Scared myself as well as everyone else when I pulled that trigger."
"I know you are. You've been fine since the day of your trial. I'm not worried about you shootin' yourself…" He got a playful grin on his face. "Maybe I should worry you're going to shoot one of them."
The days after that fell into a tense routine. Lom and Wayne went home and Paddy left durin' the day and returned each night. Me and Heyes stayed up late talkin' with him. He was appalled when Chrissy joined us one night and he learned her past. All of us tried to convince him he wasn't called by God to work in prisons. And he was needed right here in Three Birds.
Paddy announced at dinner one night that he was healed enough to hold services at nine on Sunday mornin'. A chill swept through me. The priest must have read my expression. He gave me a nod but kept talkin'. "I'm hoping that you all will join me. Jed, I'd like to talk with you after dinner before you go back to work."
Martha looked like she was thinkin' real hard about somethin'. Finally she said," Father, I don't want to go. All the yelling scares me and gives me bad dreams."
Sighin' sadly, Paddy answered, "Martha, do you trust me?"
"Yes, Father Patrick."
"Good. I promise you if you'll try coming to church with your pa and ma on Sunday, there will be no yelling. Our Lord is a God of love and mercy, he only yelled at the money changers that desecrated the temple. There will be no fire and brimstone or accusations from MY pulpit. I don't make anyone come to church but, Martha, will you think about coming…for me?"
She looked at Michael, who nodded. Then she looked at me and I smiled at her. I know she doesn't understand what happened. But she and Michael are sharp enough to see that the Monsignor was starin' at me when he yelled. "Up to you, little darlin' if you want to attend. It'd be nice to have you come with us."
At Valparaiso, me and Heyes and all the other boys were marched into Sunday services whether we wanted to or not. A lot of times I didn't understand what the minister was yelling about. I would have rather caught up on sleep. But sometimes there were fresh cookies and I liked those. I won't force my kids to go but I will encourage them to go…and now I will encourage them to go with me.
Come Sunday, the whole Curry and Heyes clans and Auntie set out for church. Juan and Hortencia had already left and Vince rode with them. I didn't like leavin' Phoenix empty but it was only a couple of hours. Auntie had packed Rocky a small breakfast to go with the one Frank would provide. We planned to bring it over after Mass but when we got to church, Heyes reached into our wagon and took the package. "Just going to take this over to Rocky now," he told us and walked off before anyone could object.
Paddy was true to his word and I'm glad I went. His message was similar to our late night talks, filled with wise counsel and forgiveness.
The next week, we were all gettin' into our two wagons when Heyes announced he was stayin'. Said there was a horse close to foalin' he wanted to watch. Givin' him a questionin' look, I lifted my kids into the back of the wagon but didn't say nothin. None of our mares are that close to havin' their babies. Just like I won't force my kids, it's Heyes' decision if he wants to go to services. Maybe if he sees we are enjoyin' it, he'll start to come. I can see from Angie's eyes she wants him with us.
We all knew that the prison wagon would come for Rocky one day soon. I got up at sunup and went down to practice my shootin'. Most days I was alone, but Heyes joined me a few times to practice his own accuracy. After the confrontation in Three Birds, he wears his gun more again. We're both real careful never to leave them where the kids can touch them.
After shootin' practice, I join the family for breakfast. It's one of my favorite parts of the day, everyone eatin' and talkin' at once. Auntie packs up a breakfast for Rocky. Chrissy and Angie drive the twins to school and then go to the jail to visit with Rocky. Usually, they take Joy and Ruth Ann with them. We tried to explain why Rocky was behind bars but ended up explainin' he did somethin' bad, and this is his punishment. They don't need to know what comes after this for him.
Ruth Ann, especially, enjoys ridin' into town. Angie tries to teach her new signs each day. Chrissy has to watch her close because she has no fear. When they got home one mornin', Angie and Chrissy told me and Heyes what happened. "It's funny now but it wasn't funny then," Angie said as they told the story.
That mornin', Ruth Ann wandered away by herself when they were waitin' outside the sheriff's office for the deputy to unlock the door. She thought it would be fun to hide under the bench and didn't follow them inside. A passerby saw her alone under the bench and then tryin' to reach the doorknob, but she was too small. "Where's your mama, little one?" the lady asked.
Ruth Ann signed and said, "Mama". It's a word she says pretty clearly now.
The nice lady grabbed her hand. "Going to take you over to the doctor's office. He knows everyone in town," she told my daughter.
Ruth Ann shook her head and pulled away. This time she yelled, "Mama," just as Chrissy was rushin' out of the office frantically lookin' for her. She scooped the toddler up in her arms and showered her with kisses.
"Oh, I'm glad you found her," the lady said. "She's such a pretty little thing, but I know she was up to mischief when I saw her come out from under that bench."
Chrissy put Ruth Ann down in front of her, gave her a stern look and signed, "Ruth Ann hide?"
The little girl nodded, smiled, and crawled under the bench to show her ma what she did.
Chrissy was so upset and mad that she pulled her out and slapped her bottom, signin' 'no' and 'bad girl'. Ruth Ann cried. Chrissy picked her up and held her as she asked, "Sorry?" with one hand.
Ruth Ann nodded and signed, "Sorry mama," then buried her head in her ma's shoulder.
Chrissy thanked the woman and took our little girl inside. She put her on the floor outside of Rocky's cell to play next to Joy.
"Rocky, are the sheriff and deputy treating you right?" asked Angie.
"They're treating me real good. Better than I deserve," Rocky answered. "Deputy even helped me read that book you left."
The ladies were concentration' on Rocky and not watchin' the little girls. Ruth Ann squeezed through the bars of the jail cell and went and climbed up on Rocky's cot.
That's when Joy noticed her. "Mama, look at Ruth Ann," she said, pulling on Chrissy's dress to get her attention.
"Oh dear, Ruth Ann come out of there," ordered Chrissy and Joy signed the words to her sister.
Ruth Ann signed back, "No, Ruth bad like Rocky. Stay here." She climbed down from the cot backwards. "Bed hard. Smell bad," she signed.
"What's that child doing in there?" asked Deputy Preston. "Get her out of there."
"Yes, sir," Rocky answered. He got down on one knee and looked her in the eyes. Angie had only taught him a few signs. He told her, "Ruth Ann good. Rocky no good. Go home with ma."
"Rocky good boy," she signed back, huggin' him. He picked up the little girl and helped her squeeze through the bars and into Chrissy's arms.
Me and Heyes laughed when they told us, but I got serious. "Do I need to give her a spankin'?" I asked, dreadin' the answer.
Chrissy touched my arm gently. "Jed, no spank any of our kids yet. Some day will need to, not now. She'll just stay here with Auntie and the babies when we go visit Rocky for a few days…if he's still here the next few days."
But Rocky was still here the next day and the ladies kept up their mornin' visits. Frank arrived an hour after sunrise each day. Always sleepy, he'd watch me put the sides up, review with me what I was gonna work on that day, and fall asleep on the bed in the back room.
Aiden keep sendin' telegrams to Miss Denise that he was delayed with new cases. I was hopin' they were hospital cases and not prison cases. So everyday was the same until a week later, when Aiden returned and stopped at Phoenix before headin' home to Three Birds. He had heard bits and pieces about Rocky from our telegrams and the warden had asked him what he knew of the boy. Aiden said he told the warden that Rocky was a good, polite, hard worker.
"Where's Frank? He promised me he'd be here when you were working?" Aiden demanded.
Smilin' I answered, "He's been here all the time I've been workin'. First days he hovered close and kept gettin' in my way. Came to realize I ain't gonna try to kill myself again. Still, he's here just after sunrise 'cause he promised you. He's sleepin' in the back." I knew my words sounded defiant but there was no need for Frank to be here durin' the day and do his sheriff work at night.
Aiden asked his question again. "What are you feelin' now, Jed?"
"Glad to see you home safe. Glad that Frank trusts me to be alone and do my work and worried that you're goin' to start watchin' me closely," I answered in an angry tone that dared him to do just that.
Aiden laughed. "Been waiting for you to show some of that Curry fire! You needed to lose that compliant attitude and stand up for yourself!' After that, Aiden cleared me to work alone.
Each afternoon after school Martha and Michael went to visit Rocky and told him all about their day and what was goin' on at Phoenix. They helped him with his readin' and writin' and stayed there until either me or Heyes or Juan or all of us drove in to pick them up. We brought Rocky and Deputy Preston a hearty dinner. Every day I asked Frank, "Got word when that black prison wagon's comin' to get Rocky?"
And every day for almost three weeks he answered, "No word so not tomorrow," and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Rocky was gettin' more jumpy about prison every day. When I asked him how he felt, he always answered, "Nervous and scared, Mr. Curry. You know what it's like in there. Been doin' what you said and countin' down the days to my parole. Down to ten days now. You think they forgot about me?"
"I'm sure they did NOT. Mr. Apperson was adamant that you would serve time." I wanted to make sure I didn't give him false hope.
And then one day, Frank's answer changed. "Heard today that they are on their way. Would you tell the boy?"
It was not somethin' I wanted to do, but I did it and Rocky took it stoically. A rush of guilt that I couldn't help him went over me and must have shown on my face because he saw it.
"Mr. Curry, this ain't your fault. Nothin' about it is your fault. You been good to me. Better than I deserved. And when I come back, I won't never ever let you down again."
"I know you won't, Rocky," I reassured him and turned away so he wouldn't see the tears startin' to form in my eyes. My emotions are still close to the surface.
I let the ladies visit one more mornin' and the twins come that afternoon and then told them no more visits. Me and Heyes and Aiden were there with Frank the next mornin' when the black wagon arrived to transport Rocky to prison. Just the sight of it made the wound on the back of my head throb.
Last thing I told Rocky was to keep to himself and do everything the guards told him to do.
He stood straight as the guards shackled his arms and feet. He tripped goin' up the stairs to the wagon. Heyes reached to help him, and the guard's billy club struck both Rocky's back and Heyes' arm. "Don't touch the prisoner," the guard snarled. "Stay back."
Rocky didn't yell in pain or turn around to look at us again. I felt the hopeless fear he must be feelin' as the wagon rolled away.
"Heyes, let me see that arm," Aiden's voice broke into my thoughts.
"Don't touch it. It hurts!" Heyes pulled away from the doctor, cradlin' the arm close to his chest with his other hand.
"Heyes, that looks bad. You didn't yell out?" Aiden said.
"Didn't want to yell in front of the boy. Didn't want him to feel guilty I got hit," Heyes answered. "Just didn't want him to fall."