SATURDAY...
The next day, Blitzø arrived early to set things up for Neptune and Marijiana's orientation training over the weekend.
He started off by setting the meeting room table with snacks and beverages such as cheese and biscuits, many of them dog ones, dipping sauces that he stuck his finger in, then 12 bottles of booze. One of which he grabbed for himself.
...
Moxxie and Millie arrived at the traffic lights in front of the office as the sun was rising, where they stood next to two tall-as-fuck gorillas.
"HEY STEVE! LAURA!" Millie called out to them. "GOOD MORNING!"
"Oooh-oooh! AHH-AHH-AHH! Oooh!" Steve then let out a monkey shriek that sounded like Curious George.
Soon, Moxxie looked back at the lights, which ironically turned green showing two people hands romantically, ...like a gay couple.
"See that, Moxxie?" teased Millie. "Steve walks to work with his wife."
"You don't know that." scoffed Moxxie with an eye-roll. "For all we know, they'd just throw banana peels on the road, and with a slip and a slide, there they are."
Millie just chuckled at her husband's neurotic humour as they entered the office to see their boss hanging up a welcome banner saying: 'I Am Pee! Orientation Weekend!' with orientation spelt very poorly.
The married imps each looked at the banner with disgust and a giggle.
"...And there is our company's first impression." said Moxxie sarcastically.
"Great job, sir." Millie smiled at Blitzø with energy. "Why not add some balloons to go with the fun?"
"Oh, Millie." chucked Blitzø. "Sweet innocent Millie."
"I only get to say that, sir." Moxxie interrupted with a seethe.
"That comes AFTER the orientation." continued Blitzø, before whispering through his teeth: "If they survive the practical exam."
"I thought 'cake' comes after the orientation." Moxxie then said with confusion.
"So did Marie Antoinette!" exclaimed the boss. "Now let's get more of these preps online." He then said cheerfully as he left the office for a well-earned coffee break.
Moxxie and Millie got to work right away, sweeping the carpet and bleaching the entire weaponry room.
Drinking his coffee, Blitzø then put a sign on the office door saying: 'Closed for _' and slogan-like words underneath saying 'FUCK OFF!'
As he wrote another word 'Training' on the underlines with red paint, Verosika walked towards the door in her favourite faux-fur coat with Tex and her posse, and widened her eyes at the sight.
"Why is that red piss of yours on MY territory?!" she growled at him.
"Hey, I'm still undecided, alright?" the imp replied as he walked away... from Verosika's office door where the sign was still hung.
...
A few hours later...
With the sign later put on HIS door, Neptune and Marijiana arrived at the IMP building in a taxi, carrying handbags over their shoulders.
As they walked up to the office, Marijiana lightly knocked on the door and stood aside, while Neptune stood right where she was with all her excitement.
The two lightly chuckled before perking up their hound ears to hear footsteps approaching the door.
"What if Loona opens it and not him?" the Great Pyrenees hound whispered to her girlfriend.
"I already have her scent in my system, babe." Neptune replied quietly but cheekily as she was ready to pounce. "Around here, she's nowhere to be sniffed."
Soon, the office door was opened by Moxxie.
Thinking it was Balin, Neptune pounced onto the imp and started licking his face repeatedly. Moxxie just laughed at this display of affection as she had him pinned down with her tail wagging in the air.
Blitzø also laughed out loud and recorded this moment holding the phone with his tail, while Millie awed at the scene.
"Looks like someone already likes you, hun." she cooed.
"HAHAHAHAHA, come on now!" Moxxie giggled, as Neptune opened her eyes to see who she was doggy-kissing. "Get off of me, you sheepdog."
"Heh heh, sorry lil' old man." the border-collie flushed, grabbing some disinfectant wipes from her bag. "I thought you were our little Balin."
"Eh, Loona had to take him out to do some school supply shopping." Blitzø explained as he shook their hands. "Won't be 'hearing' much from him today."
That joke made the two girls look at each other with confused looks on their muzzles, which Moxxie noticed.
"Way to make an introduction, sir." he sighed.
"And you think yours was better, Moxxie?" Blitzø flatly replied without exclaiming.
"Don't worry 'bout them." Millie walked up to the two with a kind smile. "This happens a lot. But, out of us three, I'm the most sane imp here."
Realising what Millie had said, Marijiana soon got the joke. "So... I.M.P? Ooooh! That explains so much." she said.
"That's right!" said Blitzø, pushing Moxxie aside. "Welcome to the Immediate Murder Professionals!"
"Don't let the name get to you." Millie quickly spoke to the girls again. "We're not that big on the murder and shit."
"Now THAT'S an understatement." Blitzø rolled his eyes under his breath, as Millie nudged his arm hard to make him behave. "...Anyway, I'm honoured you girls decided to give this place a look-around."
"Thanks." the two hounds said together.
"If you two don't mind me asking though, what made you decide to join us?" the boss asked them. "You can count that as interview question #1."
"Well..." the two girls tried to come up with an answer that didn't involve Balin. "After you asked us, we looked up your website and everything it has to offer, like a dream-come-true to see the living world. And we are almost at the end of college and everything, so anything to provide for the next of whatever future we have, together or no."
"Well I can certainly guarantee Ms. Neptune, we have plenty of what y'all are hoping for right 'round this part of the ring." Millie then said energetically. "In fact, if y'all come this way, I'm sure my hubby would be happy to show you how you'll be working around it as well."
"What they COULD be working around, honey." corrected Moxxie. "If they're up for it."
"...Sure. But together, they do share a limitless potential." said Blitzø. "Besides, Balin has more babysitters AND we have new interns. So, more work shit."
"Oh. Then... why the fuck not?"
"Now that's the attitude!" Blitzø ruffled Moxxie's hair before the two hellhounds followed the couple to the weapons room.
...
"So, ta-da! Our weapons room." Moxxie began explaining. "As you can see, we have assault weapons ranging from rifles, crossbows, axes, scythes for my loving Millie, hunting bows, katanas, hand grenades, laser-sights, Tommy guns, revolvers in three colours, old-fashioned shotguns, morphine: in some cases I won't go into, even a baseball bat or two."
"Huh. Haven't seen that one in here before." muttered Blitzø.
"Wow. That's quite a lot." Marijiana said in surprise. "Not that we're worried or anything."
"Yeah... well... we originally had much smaller space, but after some bigger missionary fish to fry over the previous years, we've been expanding on whatever weaponry we could grab. Saves for a whole lotta experience."
"For once, Moxx, I say great job to you." Blitzø gave him an elbow nudge. "FOR REAL, for real."
"Heh. Gentle this time." he chuckled to himself lightly.
"Anyways girls, onto properly seeing how we handle those bad boys on our missions." Blitzø pulled out some photos of previous targets and/or run-ins with other demons looking for trouble. "If you girls ever work around our filing cabinets, there's only one case I take pride in. So don't go looking, it's..."
"Research?" Moxxie and Millie finished for him.
"P-Precisely." Blitzø sheepishly but confidently replied to his two imps, before speaking to the wife. "So Millie, you have the test papers?"
Millie handed Blitzø two paper-clipped copies of a pop quiz. There were two pieces of paper showing each creative and strategic power-move I.M.P has ever used in missions of old, along with steps on how to pull them off. The rest of the papers were just questions in the form of final school exams based on the weapons used to do so.
Blitzø gave them 15 minutes to get the exams quietly done in the board room, so the two hellhounds went right to work. And by the time the minutes were up, Blitzø walked back in to see they were on their phones done with them.
As he looked over, he was rather impressed with how they got nearly every question right.
"Not bad girls." he said, giving the papers with a green 95% stamp. "In fact, not bad, good girls." he then grabbed out a couple of dog biscuits.
While Marijiana chuckled flatly at this weird behaviour, Neptune just stuck her tongue out and wagged her tail clearly wanting that treat.
"Racist much, sir?" Moxxie asked him flatly and quietly.
"What? Loona would never take them!" Blitzø dramatically replied in defence. "Consider them a back-up plan."
He then threw the biscuit to Neptune while Marijiana just grabbed it from his hand as they walked out of the living room.
SUNDAY...
Yesterday was just the theory lesson. Today, the girls were gonna practice the missions before seeing if they can handle the real deal on the field.
As they waited for Blitzø, the two cuddled Balin in their arms.
"You excited for school tomorrow, little guy?" asked Neptune softly.
"Yep." Balin replied happily. "Got everything I need to start the day again."
"This time, he probably won't go kicking and screaming." Moxxie whispered to his wife teasingly, as she gave him a devilish noogie in response.
Blitzø walked up to the two hellhounds as Marijiana gave the little boy soft kisses on his cheek, holding a cardboard box in his hands.
"Alright ladies, all devices in the box for the test." he said. "Including the Balin."
"Aw man." groaned Neptune playfully, as she grabbed Balin from Mari and rubbed her nose against his before putting him in the box. "See ya later, baby."
Loona just sat at the receptionist desk rolling her eyes with a smirk that nobody noticed.
The three imps took the girls upstairs to another room. It was their very own obstacle course room for new and potential employees, as well as any current ones that needed to blow off some fucking steam or gain some new steps for any upcoming missions.
Millie then cleared her throat as the hound girls sat down on two chairs, and she and Moxxie stood in front of them with old case studies on previous clients.
"So, Marijiana, I'm a 29-year-old Latin American responsible for the pizza boy who his girlfriend was booking flight tickets with." she said. "Extremely clingy and paranoid, but willing to fight aggressively. Which tactic do you use?"
"Uh..." Marijiana began thinking as she twitched her ears. "Oh! A hellhound rub-and-dash!"
"Demonstrate?" Moxxie ordered politely as he pressed a button showing the target.
Marijiana stretched her knuckles as she started rubbing herself against the cardboard target before dashing in front of him, biting down on his leg and swinging it to the wall in a strong manner before jumping on her hinds.
"OK, I can work with that." Blitzø thought to himself with impression.
"Now, your turn." Moxxie said to Neptune. "A newscaster who reported the plotted assassination of an election manager, one who killed him hours later and now kills whoever stands in his way. Which tactic?"
"An assault rifle with no laser sight or sudden noise."
"Demonstrate."
Hiding behind one of the cardboard bushes, Neptune pointed her prop gun out blending with the leaves before shooting the target with a quick blank to the head. She then blew the artificial smoke from the barrel and smiled at her work, baring her teeth sharper than Loona's.
As they day and the obstacles went by, M&M wrote their notes for Blitzø to read and a few hours later, he made his decision.
He soon called Nep and Mari back to the office where once they opened the door, they saw it was filled with balloons and cake.
"CONGRATULATIONS!" the three imps screamed, as Balin sat in Loona's chair with a big smile.
"So I take it we're in, dude?" asked Neptune with surprise, trying to play it cool.
"Yep." replied Blitzø. "Adventurous, good weaponry, possibly some experience with combat, more muscle than previously anticipated, but then again, I played laser tag against you. Other than that, you two show some blossoming potential. One I'd be proud to help you find as your boss."
"Why thank you, boss." said Marijiana. "We won't let you down."
Neptune then walked up to Balin and gently pinched his cheek.
"Looks like we'll be seeing you around more often..." she cooed to him.
"I can't wait. Welcome to I.M.P, Neptune." Balin smiled, gently rubbing her muzzle.
Neptune then gave him a soft hug saying "Awwww" before laying her head in his lap and asking for: "Scratches, please?"
Balin began running his fingers through her furry head, making her whimper to the feeling with her tail softly wagging, as Loona walked up to him with a slice of cake.
"Want some lemon cake before we leave, bud?" Loona asked him.
"No thank you Loona." Balin pretended to gag. "I mean, lemon cake? Blegh!"
"Yeah... probably not, since Blitzø got it anyway." she secretly looked disgusted as she put the cake back and picked up some contracts for Neptune and Marijiana to sign. "Blitzø's gonna need you two to sign here. It's a legal disclaimer that apparently releases us of any liabilities and responsibility for any injuries or deaths that occur during the gig."
The two hellhounds looked at the wolf-like hound then Blitzø with widened eyes.
"Hey, the living world you're hoping to see is no joke." he said in defence. "We're most likely to get kidnapped, mugged, or shot in some place that's not the leg or the arm, or whatever gets amputated first. But then again, you two are fast fierce hellhounds who can rip apart anything with your teeth and claws. Even metal. That AND it's a normal Tuesday."
"Right..." the two both said before individually signing the papers.
As soon as that was complete, Loona grabbed Balin in her arms and she began walking off.
"But between us, like the kid said. Welcome to I.M.P, it-girls." she snapped her fingers to them with a smile.
Balin waved them goodbye as they left, and his biggest fans returned the waves and blew him kisses all with warm smiles.
LATER ON...
After he had a healthy home-cooked dinner with her at the apartment, Balin walked up to Loona and gave her a hug before saying good night to her and retiring to his bedroom for the night, after she returned it with a head-rub.
A few moments after she finished, before she went to her room, Loona heard him talk on the phone with someone.
Gently pressing her ear against his bedroom door, she heard him say:
"I'm okay Matt." "I can't wait to see you tomorrow." and "Yes. Best mates forever."
Loona softy smiled hearing this and soon went to her room for the night. As curious as she was to meet this friend of his, she was excited to witness him starts his entire school journey all over again, secretly or not.
Balin pulled up his blanket and cuddled with his stuffed animals as he fell deep asleep at exactly 7:35pm, ready for whatever the big day had planned for him.
A/N: See y'all in the next chapter.