A/N: Welcome back to our semi-regularly scheduled Gelphie programming! If you haven't noticed, I'm extending the timeline between Popular and One Short Day because I want more relationship development to happen than does in the show or movie. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, emotions, and ideas with me—I would love to hear more! This one is very angsty and emotional. But honestly, that's all I know how to write.
Galinda entered their suite one evening to find a sulking Elphaba sitting at her desk. Her head rested heavily over her folded arms, and her agitated left foot tapped against the linoleum flooring in an unproductive attempt to self-soothe.
"Elphie, Fiyero and Boq want to go on a double…date," she trailed off, observing the odd position her girlfriend was in. "Elphie? Are you alright?"
A low groan came from the heap of green skin and pile of braids. "I'm fine, Galinda."
"Wow, you're not even trying to be convincing." The blonde pulled over a spare chair, reaching out to rest a hand on Elphaba's upper back, and her voice grew gentle. "I thought we decided we would be honest with one another. You're clearly upset, love."
Elphaba turned her head and her eyes met Galinda's, which were curious and worried. "I'll live," she decided, blinking away tears. "I always do."
Galinda's heart clenched painfully in her chest. Elphaba had been crying. Her eyes were puffy, red, and swollen, her cheeks a beautiful but profound purple in contrast with her emerald skin, which appeared wet.
The younger of the two women ignored the sorceress's words as she pointedly reached out to brush away a droplet that was threatening to fall. "What happened while I was out with Fiyero?" Elphaba had initially been slightly insecure about how much time the prince and the popular girl still wanted to spend together, but Galinda had been diligent in explaining that they shared a bond over the things they had in common—high expectations from upper class parents, the tendency to fall in love with people of a gender that was not always socially accepted, and of course their shared love of misfits from Munchkinland.
"I got a letter." Galinda nodded, reaching for Elphie's hand as the older girl sat up fully, still attempting to conceal the remnants of her tears. "It was from my father. I thought maybe he'd ask about sorcery with Madame Morrible or anything to do with me at all. But he just chastised me for caring more about my goals than Nessa, as if I spend any amount of time without my guilt about her looming over my head."
"Elphaba, your father is wrong. I hope you know that. You need to think about yourself more, not less."
"Part of me believes that's true. And there's nothing I could do for her to get him to feel any affection for me." She exhaled shakily. "But I can't stop wishing." Her voice broke then, a singular sob escaping from the depths of her. "Galinda, I—this sadness hit me like a train, and I can't stop crying. It just hurts so much."
"Come here, Elphie." Galinda pulled her to her feet, leading her to the slightly larger bed in the room. "Lie down with me." The blonde lied down first and pulled Elphaba next to her, wrapping her coziest pink blanket around them both before cradling the crying girl in her arms and wasting no more time before digging her fingernails into the green girl's hair. "You can't stop crying because you're trying to stop crying. You've been holding this back all of your life, Elphie. Let it all go. Cry, my beautiful girl. Just cry. It's alright."
Elphaba couldn't keep the question out of her eyes as she forced her tears to stop and silenced her wailing. Galinda, happy, bubbly, giddy Galinda surely had a limit, and Elphaba was definitely adding too much drama to her life. She was more trouble than she was worth.
Galinda could see the uncertainty in her beautiful green eyes and heard Elphie's assumptions loud and clear. Elphaba was good at concealing her true feelings underneath a mask of poise and confidence, but Galinda was better at seeing through her. She shook her head no without even needing to hear the question. "You are completively accepted by me. There's nothing you could do that would make me love you less, let alone something as basic and necessary as crying."
"I'm scared." Galinda had never seen her seem so small. For a moment, it was as if she were cradling a small child, and she couldn't resist the urge to begin rocking the woman back and forth.
"You're allowed to be scared. Be brave and do it anyway. Let me show you how okay it is for you to feel hard things with me. I know you weren't allowed to express sadness or grief or even joy back at home. That time is over." A look of fierce determination graced Galinda's features and she jut out her chin in something akin to authority. "Are you hearing me?" She shifted Elphie so that the other woman rested her head in Galinda's lap, and the blonde sat up, making eye contact. "It's over. I want to hear you say it."
The firm but loving attitude caused a river of warmth to flow through the sorceress. Could it really be true? "It's over," she repeated weakly.
Galinda noticed fairly quickly how this turn of events had visibly calmed her girlfriend, so she decided to go with it. "Good girl," she hummed, running her fingertips through the braids that cascaded over the blonde's legs.
The older woman's eyes closed at the combination of words and care, a small whimper escaping her lips as her breathing became consistent again and her tears slowed.
"Galinda, what—"
"The praise feels good, Elphie?" She confirmed, staring down in absolute awe at the girl who looked up at her with wide, expressive eyes.
"Yes...but I know it's weird. This feels so unnatural. I'm sorry." She went to bury her face in Galinda's lap in embarrassment,
Galinda interrupted her, cupping her cheek gingerly in her hand in order to stop Elphie from completely turning her face away from her. "Don't question it. You don't need to be sorry, my darling. Thank you for telling me. It's not weird at all. You need to feel loved. Every person and Animal needs this. What is unnatural is that this nurture was stolen from you during your childhood. I'm going to hold you while you cry. Cry until you have no tears left to cry, my brilliant, beautiful girl. I'm going to keep offering you encouragement."
Elphaba froze for a moment as tears began cascading down her cheeks without relent, prompting Galinda to ask, "Is this too much? You can tell me if it is."
"No, I—this is exactly what I need. Explicit permission to feel." Somehow Galinda had the ability to instinctively figure these things out just by observing her. She felt unimaginably seen, which ordinarily would have sent her running for the hills, but Galinda made it feel less scary. Galinda made her feel like she truly was worth the trouble. That the intensity of the emotions she was feeling—allowing the juxtaposition of her life at home and her new life at Shiz, a life with love, truly hit her—really could be just a lily pad floating down the river of her life. Something she could notice and acknowledge, allow to exist, and then let go, without ruminating over it for the rest of her days.
"That's exactly what I'm giving you," Galinda promised, slowly and dutifully wiping water droplets off of wet emerald cheeks. "Today and all days. I know how nervous you still are. You're being so brave, allowing yourself to cry in front of me, and I'm so proud of you. I want to remind you that it's safe to feel absolutively anything with me, and you can always share those feelings."
Galinda allowed a few minutes to pass, leaning her lips in to press gently against Elphie's forehead. "You're not too much for me. You're perfect." She nuzzled her nose against Elphaba's closed eyelids. "You are exactly what I want." She rubbed her hands up and down the green girl's arms, warming the icy skin. "I'm here with you, and you're not alone in this anymore."
The word "alone" caused a fresh wave of tears to begin anew, and Galinda hummed in comfort. "You're doing so good, Elphaba Thropp. You are so good."
The older girl shook her head at herself in something akin to disbelief. Oz, how Elphaba had spent her life longing to be seen as good. "That makes me feel so warm, Galinda. It makes me—."
The blonde shifted out from under Elphaba, moving to lie next to her as she continued to calm. "Makes you what?"
"It makes me want you closer." She thought for a moment. "It makes me want to kiss you."
"How interesting," she mused aloud with a grin. Galinda wrapped an arm around her waist, biting her own lower lip. "Well, you have my permission. My lips are here for the taking."
A small smile formed on her lips, making Galinda giggle. Oz, getting Elphaba to smile was quickly becoming her favorite pastime. "While I'm crying?" It didn't seem like something Glinda, who was proud to stroll around Shiz with the word "consent" written on her forehead—something that appeared more and more important to her as the new couple had begun to routinely share kisses and cuddles in the bed, as they'd begun waltzing through the quad hand-in hand, the blonde pressing kisses against their interlaced fingers after an inquisitive glance Elphaba's way—would entertain. Too much vulnerability, the sorceress assumed. Galinda seemed entirely collected, and Elphaba was moments away from collapsing in tears again.
"As long as you're comfortable with it." She sighed, pulling Elphaba's hand to her warm cheek, holding it against her rosy skin. "You know, you don't see tears falling from my eyes, but I promise you I'm emotional too. I feel really connected to you right now, and I think we're both at the limit of expressing how we're feeling through words. So, we could sing or we could kiss."
"I vote for kissing," Elphaba indicated, immediately tangling her fingers into golden hair and enthusiastically pulling the two girls' faces together. Galinda decided not to question it for a heavenly moment and responded eagerly, neither woman able to get close enough to the other, small whines and moans flowing from both of their lips.
Elphaba blushed, releasing Galinda's lips with a pop. The warmth that always began moving its way through her abdomen at this point was slightly disconcerting and she was self-conscious at the desperate sounds she would start making. Galinda nuzzled their noses together, recognizing the signs that Elphaba was flustered at her own response to the touch. "It's alright. You're perfect, Elphie. Your sounds are perfect."
By this point, Elphaba had stopped crying entirely. "Galinda—"
"Breathe," she reminded. "Do you want to stop?"
"No, please, no."
The blonde nodded, exhaling intentionally. She reminded herself to keep her focus on Elphie's body language. "Do you want to try it with a little bit of tongue? If you don't like it, we don't have to continue. And we don't have to try even, if that feels too overwhelming after the evening you've had."
"We can try. I trust you. I'm not sure what to do though."
Galinda smiled reassuringly. "Relax your lips and let me lead for a minute?"
The older woman couldn't help the groan that spilled out of her mouth as her eyes closed and she waited with bated breath for the contact that would be her undoing. The way Galinda cared for her in these moments, taught her with the utmost patience, drove her absolutely wild. But it was still never enough. She dreamed of the day that the woman she undoubtedly loved—but still hadn't declared her love to—would abandon all caution and simply have her way with her. She didn't know exactly what that meant, but how could any extension of Galinda's touch on her skin feel anything but other worldly?
The brush of pink lips against her own lit her up for a moment, but Elphaba was disappointed with the lack of pressure behind the movements. She was distracted from her disappointment by a new sensation at her lips. Was that—
Yes. It was the tip of Galinda's tongue just barely running itself along the seam of Elphaba's kiss-bruised lips. She wasn't sure how to respond, and so she simply let Galinda continue to light squeezed of her lips with the slow, barely there teasing of her tongue. It felt exciting, at least the idea of it did, but for some reason that she didn't understand, Elphaba couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and welcome the intrusion. For her part, Galinda remained steadfast, continuing her ministrations without becoming demanding, and adding a steadying hand against one of Elphaba's shoulders, squeezing in comfort.
"I love you. It's okay." She pulled away reluctantly after a few moments, and Elphaba sighed.
"Galinda, I feel you holding back."
"I am, Elphie. I have to. To keep you safe. Your entire body tensed up. I'm not going to force my tongue into your mouth. Something about it made you nervous."
Elphie sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down hard. She hadn't even noticed that her body had done that. "I want you to enjoy this too."
"Oh, make no mistake, Elphaba, I'm enjoying this immensively." She squeezed her love's shoulder for a second time before bringing her pointer finger in to trace along the sorceress's swollen lips. "I'm just working on finding balance. This is how you become good at these things. It's not about one technique that's good for everybody. It's about being in the moment with your partner. There's a bit of a power exchange going on between us, something we can't control due to the difference in our experience levels. Because I'm ready for more and you aren't, it's my responsibility to follow your cues and messages to me."
"So you do want more." It wasn't a question and still Elphaba struggled to believe it.
"Yes. When you're ready," she explained, cradling the older woman's face in her hands, "I want to show you how much I love you. I want to love your entire being, from your head to your toes. But not a clock tick before you're ready."
"We haven't really even talked about sex yet."
"And we don't have to. Not yet, anyway." Galinda slipped off the bed. "I'm going to get a cool cloth to soothe your face and neck. You're a little sweaty."
Elphaba flushed as the blonde looked at her adoringly. "You really don't have to do that, Galinda."
Galinda's gentle laugh filled the suite as she skipped towards the bathroom. "I know. I want to."
A/N: I hope this chapter gets your week off to a warm and fuzzy start!