Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.

Every late night call,
Every morning kiss,
All the "I can't live without you's"
And you say goodbye like this
Don't you understand, do you even care
If you love me like you said you did you'd still be standing here
You think you know somebody

"You Think You Know Somebody" by Hunter Hayes

~Edward~

My feet were like lead. No matter how loud I screamed in my head to just get the hell out of that room, my body didn't move. It was like I was having an out of body experience and couldn't control my own movements any more. Apparently, my eyes weren't functioning any better than my feet since I couldn't take them off of her.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I had no clue what to say to her. It was hard to forget the way she'd broken my heart, turned my life upside down, and ripped all the plans we'd made to shreds. I had to take a step back for the sake of my best friend upstairs mourning his loss. Bella's loss too. They'd both just buried their father. No, it didn't matter how badly I wanted to lash out at her, scream, ask her why; today was not the day.

Still staring at her gone was the eighteen-year-old girl who'd run off all those years ago and in her place was a young woman. Her face was slightly fuller and more mature looking, but I could still see traces of the girl I'd once known. She still had a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks and though her eyes were full of tears they still were like large pools of molten chocolate. What I noticed the most though, was despite the fact she had tear stains trailing down both cheeks, she was still just as beautiful as she'd always been. It took me back to the tears running down her face the day she'd walked away from me.

What the hell, Cullen? Was what she did to you pretty?

"Um…I'm…" Bella uttered in a shaky voice, followed by a long sigh as she hung her head and looked at the floor breaking our gaze.

I hated this. I hated how conflicted I felt. How part of me wanted to scoop her up in my arms and hold her as she cried for her father and whisper in her ear that it'd be okay. That I was there for her. Yet another part of me wanted to rip her to shreds. Shake her until she gave me the answers to questions that still haunted my sleep. Force her to tell me how we'd gotten to this point. How we'd gone from goodnight kisses and whispers of never letting go of one another. I needed to know if she understood what she'd done to me. To know if she even cared. To be able to grasp how you think you knew somebody one minute, so well they practically felt like an extension of yourself, part of your very own soul, and think they're a total stranger the next.

"I," she whispered before wiping her eyes and sucking in a long pull of air and blurting out, "I didn't know anyone was down here. I'm so—."

"There you are," Alice said with relief in her voice as she entered the room. She must have been searching for Bella

"Fuck," I muttered lowly in frustration, causing Alice to spin around quickly, taking notice of me standing there across the room. I had just resigned myself to wanting to hear what Bella had to say and my sister decided to show up.

Fucking great timing.

"Oh. I didn't see you over there, Edward." Alice paused and looked back and forth between Bella and me before she continued. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her own question.

Neither one of us said anything. Alice shifted from one foot to the other giving us the chance to elaborate on the situation she'd walked in on.

"Well…uh if the two of you were getting caught up, I can…uh tell Emmett. I think he was wanting to get you settled soon, Bella. They're wanting to get Emma to bed. She's starting to get a little restless," Alice said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was hanging over the room like a giant wall cloud hovering above the ground before the storm breaks wide open.

My sister was turning to head upstairs when Bella found her voice again. "Wait up, Alice. I was on my way up anyhow. I just needed a minute to myself but Edward was already down here."

My eyes swept from Alice to Bella, willing her to look my way. Her head moved slightly like she might, but then she quickly bent and picked up her shoes sitting on the floor next to her and slipped them back on. I shook my head and fought back the sarcastic snort I wanted to let out.

You mean scream?

She'd just told me she hadn't seen me down here and now she's telling my sister that she's leaving because I'm here.

Which the fuck was it?

I balled my hands, feeling my nails dig into them, in order to keep from darting across the room and demanding she finish what she was about to say. I closed my eyes for a second and sucked in a deep breath because I feared what I might say if I opened my mouth and got started. There'd be no stopping me.

Not now, not in front of Alice, I repeated to myself.

All I could think as she made her way from the room was, she walked out on me a little over four years ago, vanishing from my life, and here she was walking away again.

I listened to the sound of Alice and Bella's footsteps until I was sure they were a safe enough distance away for me to make a run at getting the hell out of here. It felt like a lifetime before I was in the clear. Certain that Bella would be in the family room saying her goodnights, I escaped out the back. I knew Aunt Mae would tear into my ass for leaving without seeing her, but she was just gonna have to give me some leeway in this mess of a situation. I'd done what she'd asked of me. I'd gone to the funeral, and I'd behaved myself through the family dinner she'd insisted I attend. Now it was time for me to do what I needed to do.

Jogging across the driveway, I was thankful that I'd parked behind everyone else instead of pulling all the way up to the house. If I'd had, I'd have been blocked in and wouldn't be going anywhere. Yeah, I could walk the short distance to my barn loft, but I wasn't going home right now. Being at home was still too close to where Bella was at the moment.

Digging my keys out of my pocket, I jammed them into the ignition and after throwing the truck into reverse, I backed down the driveway, far faster than I probably should have.

As I drove, my body was humming with the adrenaline-fueled emotions surging through me.

"Fuck, shit, damnit!" I growled, slamming the steering wheel with my hand every time a curse word flew from my mouth.

For months after she'd left, all I'd wanted was to talk to her, see her, beg her to change her mind and come home. And now…why now? Why when I was finally able to deal with the shit-storm she'd left in her wake?

"Shit," I cursed again for not paying more attention to what I was doing. Get your head out of your ass, I thought for not slowing down more before pulling onto the gravel parking lot of The Bar. Slamming my foot hard on the brake pedal I managed to skid to a stop before I hit the building. The sound of gravel spitting out from under my tires as I did, ricocheted off the underneath of my truck in rapid fire succession.

Entering the building, I glanced around and noticed it was an unusually slow night for the local watering hole that was almost always busy. Good. I wanted to be left alone to wash my thoughts away. Being on the main road in town kept it on everyone's radar since you'd drive past it whether you were coming or going from town in either direction. But tonight I was grateful there was only a handful of people and they seemed to be together and enjoying a game of pool on the far side of the place.

Making my way to the bar, I slid onto a stool at the end furthest away from the billiards room.

"Hey, Edward, what's up man? You want the usual?" Jack asked. He was the bar tender and owner, as well as a good friend of mine.

Jack was a tall drink of water as Aunt Mae liked to say, nearly six foot six and strong as an ox. And according to the gossip amongst the women in town he was damn good looking too. Jack's prowess with the female population was nothing new to me, I'd spent all four years of college seeing them drool and bat their lashes at his sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Yeah and throw a burger on the grill for me too."

"You got it," Jack replied.

I suddenly felt the need for something more than a burger and beer and changed my mind. "You know what?"

He looked my way as he reached into the cooler and pulled out a bottle of beer and waited for me to answer my own question.

"Make that a boilermaker. With the day I've had, beer just ain't gonna do it for me right now."

Jack looked a little surprised at my request but nodded and slid the beer down the bar to me then poured the shot of whiskey to go with it.

I picked up the shot glass and swirled the amber contents around a bit before downing it in one swallow. I felt the heat of the whiskey as it went down, welcoming the warmth of it in the pit of my stomach.

"Give me another." I set the glass down and slid it down the bar to Jack.
After the second there was a third. The buzz from the liquor couldn't hit me fast enough. I wanted it to burn the image of seeing Bella from my brain.

Frustrated I picked at the paper label on my beer bottle before taking a long swig.

"Are you ok, man?" Jack asked. His eyebrows were lifted with his curiosity as he wiped down the bar top, waiting for my reply.

Was I ok?

Slumping against the back of the barstool, I downed another long drink of beer as I thought about how to answer him.

"Yes. No. Fuck, man, I don't even know," I huffed.

"I heard about Chief Swan. Must be a tough day for your family. Wasn't the funeral today?" he inquired, genuinely concerned.

I nodded, the image of Bella sitting in the church flashed before my eyes, instantly causing me to nudge the empty shot glass closer to him, silently asking him for another round.

"I can't imagine what that must be like…to lose a parent." He stopped and stared at the floor for a moment. "Not to mention, both of them."

It fucking sucks, I thought.

I tipped my beer bottle back and sucked down the rest of it. After setting it down on the bar top I was talking before I'd even realized what I'd said. "I wish that was the only demon I wanted to chase away tonight."

"What was that?" Jack asked.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself," I lied.

"Well that's one way to win a conversation. But you know there's an old saying about bar tenders," he supplied.

"No, I don't actually. Why don't you tell me while you grab me another beer," I suggested.

Taking the empty bottle off the wooden bar top he grabbed me another and said as he twisted the cap off, "You know I've been told bartenders are like shrinks. Especially if you're lucky enough to be college chums with said bartender. So if you wanna talk about today or if you just need to get something off your chest, I'll gladly bill ya a hundred bucks an hour to listen. Or you could just give me your bike."

He gave me a flash of the charming smile he used to win girls over.

I snorted. "You can save that kiss ass smile for some pretty little blond thing. You ain't getting my damn bike."

Jack had been trying to get my bike away from me since the moment he'd first laid eyes on it in college. He'd even once offered me a crazy amount of money for it. However, there was no amount of money that would get me to part with it. The bike, a 1971 Morton Commando 750 motorcycle, had been my dad's. It was one of the few things I'd kept of his.

My dad had found it sitting in an alley in Chicago with a sign on it saying free to someone who could repair it. He'd never gotten around to doing it, having been too busy with work, but when he'd died, it was something I wanted to do.

I had originally planned on figuring out how to fix it that first summer Alice and I were living with our aunt and uncle. But then my relationship with Bella had developed quickly and I'd found myself spending nearly all my free time with her. Then once she'd left, I'd finally dug into it as a means to keep my mind occupied. I'd taken on extra hours working at the part time job I'd had at the local hardware store and doing any odd jobs around the ranch to earn extra money for the parts needed to repair the bike. It had been a great means of transportation for me during my college years and I now rode it occasionally just for fun. Jack had fallen in love with it the one time I'd let him ride it. But there was just no way him or anyone would ever get me to let it go. Didn't mean he didn't still try.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He laughed and handed me the beer he'd opened for me.

I downed half my beer in one gulp. Picking at the burger in front of me I asked Jack, "You remember when we first met in college? How you gave me shit cuz I wouldn't hookup with all the blatantly available chicks with you?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well you were right about why."

I scrubbed my hand over my face wondering if I really wanted to rehash my past with Bella, with Jack. But the urge to tell someone who wasn't related to me or her, pushed me forward.

"Right? Help me remember, bro."

Guess there was no turning back now. "You once accused me of either being gay or having had a chick done a real number on me," I supplied, refreshing his memory.

I could see the light in his head come on and his eyes brightened as he said, "So you are gay."

"What? Fuck no, you jackass!" I exclaimed and threw a fry from my plate at his head.

He ducked it and chuckled at me.

"Huh," he said with a shrug, still laughing inside. "So who's the chick then? You've never mentioned anyone."

No, but not because I hadn't thought of her.

I ran my hand through my hair and let out a huff of air as I tried to figure out where to start.

As if sensing what my problem was, Jack remarked, "You know usually the beginning is a good place to start."

I nodded and took a swig of my beer, swallowing it down along with the emotions that were threatening to explode in me.

An hour later I'd filled him in on my life with Bella Swan, from the feisty little girl who was like a kitten trying to be a lion, to the beautiful young woman who still lashed out like that pissed off kitten when she was upset, that had broken my heart and never looked back.

"She's never been back? Not once?" Jack questioned, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Nope."

"Not even to see Emmett?"

"No. Not when he and Rose got married or had Emma, and not when Alice and Jasper got married."

He let out a long low whistle. "Damn."

"Yeah. Damn."

"So let me get this straight. Not only did this chick pull a one eighty on you and walked out on you out the blue, but she walked away from her entire family too? How's Emmett feel about that?"

"Well now that's the kicker, I guess. While she's never been back here, Rose and Em have gone to see her at least once a year."

He took an unbalanced step back, almost as if he'd faltered from having too much to drink, which I knew was far from the case, and I'd swear a wave of shock crossed his face but it was gone so fast I couldn't be sure.

"No phone calls? No Dear John letter?" he wanted to know.

"Nothing."

"And she's back now?" he asked, before glancing at the clock and grabbing himself a beer. He occasionally had one while working, but never more until after closing time.

"Yep."

"You've seen her?"

"Yep."

"Must have been a bit rough." He took a drink of his beer and held up a finger for me to hold on while he filled the drink order for some guy who had just come in.

Once he was done he made his way back down to where I was. "As I was saying, seeing her must have been a bit rough, weird, after all this time."

"Fucking understatement of the century." I grumbled and finished my beer before asking for another along with another shot of whiskey.

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, trying to erase the visions my mind conjured up of my time with Bella.

"What?" he asked shooting me a look of surprise. "It's not like you still have feelings for this chick so what's the big deal? Yeah I get it's a bit weird. What with the way she left and all, but even if you were still too hung up on her back in the early days of college, surely you've moved way past that now," he stated like he was talking about the weather.

When I didn't respond he set his beer down and stared at me.

I just stared back, because I knew he was right, most guys would have moved on a long time ago. Once Bella was gone that should have been the end of it. But it wasn't. I wasn't most guys.

"Spit it out. What's the deal, man? You still pissed she dumped your ass like she did, or you still hanging on to feelings for her?"

~Bella~

"You're awfully deep in thought over there," Rose declared as she stepped through the door to the porch. I hadn't even heard the normally noisy spring of the wooden screen door.

"You must have the magic touch with that door." I'd heard it slam shut like a clap of thunder when Edward tore out of here like a bat out of hell a little while ago. "Is that how you used to sneak out and see Emmett late at night?" I teased her.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah…Maybe."

I didn't turn around to look at her, but knew she was headed my way as the sound of her shoes on the wooden planks got closer. She stopped right next to me. "I know you've been down in Florida on your own for a while now and have had to handle the loss of your father on your own until late last night when you got here, but you're not alone any more, Bella. I'm not going to pretend that I've come to understand why you left, because I don't. I don't know if I ever will. But…" She took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of mine resting on the rail, squeezing it gently. Her voice was much softer and held a lot more emotion when she continued. "I'm still your family. Emmett and I are here for you. Hell, there's a lot of people in this town that care for you. You don't have to grieve alone, and you don't have to hide it or pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, then scream. If you need to fall apart, that's okay too. Do what you need to."

I felt a tear run down my face as I struggled to find the words to say to her. The dam of emotions I'd been fighting for so, so long was cracking quickly and I feared what'd be left behind if it gave away completely.

"Damnit, Isabella, you can't keep it bottled up inside forever," Rose insisted.

"I—I need—have you…"

"What Bella? What do you need? What do I have? I don't understand what you're trying to say," she begged me for answers.

"Have…Have you ever wished for a do over? Wished you could go back in time and change something?" I whispered.

"No, I can't say that I have."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. You've gotten everything you've ever wanted," I mumbled, low enough I didn't think she'd hear me.

"Wrong." She removed her hand from mine and took a step back placing her hand on her hip. The concerned look on her face was replaced by one that was less sympathetic.

A lot less.

"I never got to know why you took off out of here faster than those god forsaken storms my cousin chases after, leaving him with a broken heart that still hasn't healed."

I gasped as I tried breathe, feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut at the mention of what my leaving had done to Edward.

And what did she mean by still hasn't healed?

"What?" she asked. "Did you really think he'd get over you that easily? Did you think he'd just move on as if you'd never existed?"

"No—I—I just thought…."

"Thought what? That he'd be over you by now?" she quipped. "Moved on?"

"But it's been fo—"

"Four years? Yes, it has. But let me tell you something. He might think he's had all of us fooled over the years and I seriously doubt he's been a monk. And your brother may avoid talking about Edward like the plague when we visit you, but let me tell you something little sister, I can promise you, that man still loves you."

I shook my head back and forth refusing to believe what she was telling me. I didn't know why she was, maybe she thought it'd help ease the pain over losing my father. Whatever the reason it really took me for a ride because Rose wasn't one to tell bullshit stories, or to try and placate a person to make them happy. No, she was a straight and narrow kind of person.

"No. Just stop it now. Lies, you're lying to me. And I don't know why you are telling me these things, why you would lie to me like this. But I can promise you, that you are certainly wrong," I sobbed. "There's no way Edward still cares for me. I'm nothing."

"The only one who is lying here is you," she claimed. "I am not going to stand here and tell you that you and Edward could ever get back to where you once were, sometimes love isn't always enough, but it is a great place to start. To try. While I may be sure about what's in my cousin's heart, I also know when you left here, you devastated him. However, in order to even have a shot at it you are going to have to stop this lie you've held onto all these years and come clean about the real reason you left."

My mind was reeling. My head pounding. Was she right? Could I have a chance to make things right between Edward and me? No. Too much time had gone by. He never even tried to stop me from walking away, never called, wrote, or anything once I was gone. What Edward and I had shared was long gone. A beautiful memory that would be just that forever.

"I'm gonna head on up to bed," I murmured, keeping my head down and not making eye contact with her.

I'd just reached the door, my hand hovering over the handle. "Damn it, stop running, Bella. Stop acting like you aren't hurting too. Stop lying. Just stop."

Faster than I'd have thought was possible she was right next to me. She grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"If you won't tell me why you really left, at least be honest with Edward. He deserves that much. And your brother too."

She starred at me. My instant reaction was to look away. My resolve was beginning to weaken and I knew if I was out here much longer she'd see right through me and break me down the rest of the way. And if that happened it would only hurt those I loved more than I already had.

I pulled my arm out of her hold. "There's nothing to tell," I said as boldly as I could before darting into the house and making a fast track to the guest room.

That night as I tossed and turned in bed, Rose's words kept haunting me…at least be honest with Edward.

Maybe I should. Maybe it was finally time to come clean about why I really left. Maybe the truth could set Edward free. Give him closure and he could move on and be happy. Maybe…

~Edward~

"Eddie, baby, I thought you were gonna teach me how to play," Tanya whined. Her hand rubbing all over my chest felt all kinds of wrong, but I wasn't in a mood to really give a shit. "It's no fun just watching you try to kill those little balls."

"Here," I told her as I dug into my pocket for some change and shoved it into her hand. "Go play that song that was just on again."

"Again?" she screeched.

"Yeah." I downed the last half of my beer and turned to make my next shot, but at the last second I stopped and dug my hand into my pocket once more. "In fact," I said, pulling all the change out of my pocket and dumping it into her hand. "Play it as many times as you can."

Getting pissed as I nudged her off of me and turned to take my shot, she stomped her foot to get her point across and caused me to miss and send the balls flying in every direction but where I wanted them to go.

Fucking spoiled brat. She's nothing like…

The image of Bella sitting on Aunt Mae's fence shot through my mind. Did she ever really love me? I wondered as I shot the ball hard across the table.

With each subsequent shot I had another thought of Bella.

Why'd she leave?

And another shot…What's she been doing all this time?

And another… Why'd she have to come back?

With each question racing through my mind I was getting angrier and angrier causing me to shoot the ball harder each time.

"Eddie, let's get out of here," Tanya begged as she pulled on my arm spinning me around easily in my drunken state. Nearly as tall as me she pulled me towards her and planted a kiss on me.

"Get off me," I growled. "And don't fucking call me Eddie." I nudged her away from me. In doing so my pool stick hit a ball so hard it went flying, hitting the guy across the table in the junk.

"Oops," Tanya slurred with a giggle.

Next thing I knew I had my back against the wall and the guy's arm pressed under my chin choking me.

"You better watch yourself and the little lady over there or it's gonna be your face getting hit with my fist next time," he barked, spit spraying in my face as he did.

"Get the fuck off me," I grunted back. It was hard to talk with the hold he had on me.

"I think you better be going home now," he ordered, pressing even harder on my throat to back his threat.

"I'll leave when I'm damn ready. Now get off me!"

I shoved him off me and as I did he pulled his fist back….

"Woah, woah, woah," Jack chanted as he stepped in between us. "I think it's time you both go home," he ordered, holding us apart with his hands on each of our shoulders.

"You better watch your pal," the guy warned Jack as he nodded and turned to make his exit.

"Kiss my ass," I shouted after him.

"Edward," Jack grumbled. "You better shut the hell up now or I'm gonna drag your ass on over there and let him kick it into tomorrow mornin'."

"Really, Jack? You're gonna take his side?"

"Take me home, Eddie, you don't have to listen to either of them. I can make you feel all better," Tanya whined, while rubbing her hands up and down my chest. She'd been chasing after me for years now, and it would be easy to give in. But I just couldn't. It didn't feel right.

She didn't feel right.

"Tanya, you need to scoot yourself on outta here. Ain't nobody here wantin' what your flea infested ass is offerin'," Jack told her.

I couldn't help snicker a little at the put out, pissed off look that washed over her face as she stomped off.

"Really, Jack? You ruin my chance at getting lucky and you're gonna take his side on top of it?"

"It isn't about sides," he shot back at me. "It's about keeping my bar from being busted up and you from hating yourself in the morning. You know as well as I do, she ain't what you want." He picked up the pool stick I'd dropped in the scuffle with the other guy and set it back on the rack. "Besides," he added as he pulled the balls out of the pockets. "Tomorrow when your ass isn't drunk as a skunk, you'll see I was on your side." He turned and playfully slapped me on the cheek a couple of times. "Wouldn't want anyone to plow over that pretty mug of yours. Now come on. I'll pour ya one last shot before I close up for the night."

Three shots later I was about to get up to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder shoving me back down.

"Not so fast there, Bro."

As soon as I saw Jasper plant himself on the stool next to mine, I knew Jack had been plying me with liquor to keep me here.

"Dude you look like hammered shit."

"You come to have a shot with me?" I asked him. "Hey, Jack, can we get two more shots down here?"

Jasper chuckled and shook his head a couple of times. "Nope, I came down here to drag your sorry ass home."

"Jack, you low down dirty double crosser. You ratted me out," I hollered as I tossed back the last of the beer I had. "I shoulda left with Tanya, she's purdier than you."

"I'm thinkin' Jack should have let Big Bubba kick your ass."

"Real nice, Jazz." I tried to stand again and had to grab the bar to keep from falling over.

"Jack," Jasper called out as he looped my arm and wrapped it around his neck.

"Yeah?"

"Edward's truck good to stay parked here til mornin'?"

"Sure is," Jack returned before calling, "Hold up one sec."

"What's that?" I asked as Jack stuffed a napkin in my shirt pocket.

"Just a little reminder. Read it in the morning when you can see straight," he told me.

I nodded and let Jasper lead me out to his truck.

"Let's go. It's time to take your drunk ass home before you get into any more trouble."

Poor Edward, trying to drink his sorrows away. We're getting closer to revealing why Bella left. It will begin to unravel in the next chapter.

Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.

Don't forget to let me know what ya think. See ya in two weeks!

~EA