Hi…smiles timidly… yes, it's really me. I know it's been a while and I apologize for that. It was never my intention to go this long between updates. I don't like it any more than you do. But writers block and a life that got extremely busy for a bit made it next to impossible to write. However, I think I am past that now and updates should come much faster. Thank you to my most awesome partner in crime, My Bella. She crawls into the deep caves of my brain and pulls out all the good stuff. I couldn't do this without her. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter and you are still here with me for this ride. After all, we're just getting to the good stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.
You put me on a roller coaster, fly me on a plane
You send me to another planet, get inside my brain
I knew right when I met you, I would never be the same
But I let you take me over, girl, so I'm the one to blame
You make all my screws come loose
Got me perfectly confused
Always find a way to mess me up and drive me wild
I love the way you make me lose my mind
Lose my mind, oh
Lose My Mind, Brett Eldredge
August
~Bella~
It had been a nearly three weeks since Edward and I had really talked on the night of Emma's birthday party. It wasn't that we'd avoided each other, as far as I could tell life had just gotten very busy for us both. Edward had been out on the road a lot, it had been a particularly busy July in the weather department, and between my new job and remodeling my childhood home I was lucky I had time to breathe. The only communication we'd had were a few late-night text conversations and some pictures he'd sent me of a gorgeous rainbow and some of the amazing storm clouds he'd seen. He was supposed to be home tomorrow and all the pictures he's sent had me toying with the idea of asking him if I could tag along on one of his chases.
Luckily I had an amazing brother who was more than willing to help when it came to getting the house fixed up. Even with us only working when we had free time, having Emmett was almost like having a full crew. His excitement for me to be staying in Oklahoma was extremely obvious and I loved it. I was starting to be really excited myself now that I knew that at the very least Edward and I would be friends.
You know you want more than that with him, I told myself.
Most of the interior of the house had been easy so far. The bedrooms had been easy fixes, only needing a fresh coat of paint on the walls and trim. The living room was the same, other than knocking down the wall between it and the kitchen to open up the floor plan. I'd just finished painting the trim and stood back, looking at the living room. It was amazing how much brighter and larger the space felt now that the dark wood of the fireplace, baseboards and other wood trim had been painted white. The contrast between the soft gray color I'd chosen for the walls and the white really added a brightness the room had never had even on the sunniest of days.
"Hey, Baby Bird," Emmett called from the kitchen where he was installing new cabinets. The kitchen was the biggest job we'd taken on so far and the bathrooms would need complete overhauling too.
I set down my brush and placed the lid back on the can of paint and turned around to see what my brother wanted.
"Wow," I said as I took in the look of the new cabinets. Having taken down the wall between the kitchen and the living room really changed the space. Since the rooms were more like one room now I'd used the same soft gray on the kitchen walls as well and the white of the cabinets Emmett had hung today really stood out.
"This room is so much brighter now too," I said taking in the work Emmett had done.
"It really is," he replied. "Especially with the addition of the window over the sink and adding double doors instead of the single going out to the patio."
"I agree. So, what did you want?" I asked.
"I just got a text from Jasper saying him and Alice were going to head over to The Bar for a burger and a beer and wanted to know if we wanted to go to?"
"Sure, what time is it anyway?" I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check and saw it was nearing one in the afternoon and I had nearly the same text from Alice.
"Well I guess we don't really have a choice since Alice texted me asking the same thing, but she added for me to tell you, Rose is with them."
"I suppose we better get on cleaned up and head on over then," Emmett agreed.
It didn't take us long to clean up and lock up the house before we were on our way.
"You know," Emmet started, causing me to turn my attention to him instead of watching out the window. "I'm really glad your staying. I've missed you, Bella, we've all missed you and I can tell that Emma loves having her Auntie here."
"It feels good to be here, Em. Really good. I didn't think I'd ever be happy here again. For the longest time I was terrified of ever coming back here, but things seem to be changing and I love my new job."
"I'm glad because I know that everyone is happy you're here and I mean everyone."
I snorted, catching on real fast to what he was hinting at. Or actually who.
"Edward and I have just begun to get to know each other again, Emmett. Don't go jumping to conclusions," I warned him.
"You still have feelings for him, right?" he asked, glancing over at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road.
I laughed and rolled my eyes at my brother. Why he was fishing for information he already knew was beyond me. But out of curiosity I decided to play along. "Last time we talked about Edward and me, you claimed to already know the answer to that question."
"Oh I do. But knowing it and getting you to say it out loud are two very different things," he said confidently, flashing me that full on smile of his that showcased his dimples making him look completely innocent even if he wasn't. I couldn't help but laugh at him again.
"Fine, dear brother of mine, if it makes you feel better, then yes, I still have feelings for Edward. But it doesn't change the fact that we are both different than who were when I left."
"Look, I know you've both changed and I know dad was a dick. But you let him win, Bella. In a way when he told you, you weren't good enough for Edward you let him win, so—"
I cut him off, starting to get pissed. "Gee thanks for the morale boost there, Emmett. You think I don't know that?"
"Before you have a hissy fit, let me finish," he shot back.
"Fine." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out the window.
"All I'm trying to say is, with you and Edward still have feelings for each other you have a starting point that most don't. Most have to let those feelings develop before they can even begin to have the kind of connection I've seen the two of you have."
"But?" I asked, certain he was getting to some sort of a "but" in whatever he was trying to say.
"But Edward may be a bit gun-shy when it comes to you. You may have to be the go-getter this time. If being with him is what you really want, then don't let anything or anyone ever stand in your way again. Fight to get back what you lost."
He pulled his truck into the parking lot at The Bar.
"Thanks for the relationship advice, Em," I said with a huff as I opened the door and hopped out of the truck as fast as I could so he couldn't continue this conversation.
"Don't be like that, Bella," he pleaded, quickly coming around to the front of the truck and stopping me in my attempt to beat him to the door.
I didn't say anything to him, I just stood there looking around at anything but him. It wasn't so much that I was pissed at him, it's just that I wished everyone would leave Edward and me alone to figure things out. I knew they all meant well, but in the end it all came down to what we felt and what we wanted.
"I just want to see you happy. Maybe I'm not the best at putting shit into words, but I'm just trying to help." He put his hands on my shoulders and gave me his puppy dog pouting face. "We good, Baby Bird?"
I sighed and nodded. I knew he just wanted me to be happy, and he knew I could never be mad at his sad face. I just wanted so badly to put the past behind me and move forward. Staying here was supposed to be a new beginning but it felt like everyone kept pulling me into the past. I had to wonder if Edward was being prodded like this too. I would have to ask him about it when he came back. Even though we'd texted a bit while he was gone I didn't want to bother him while he was working.
"No more though," I told him, smacking him on the arm. "I'm trying to move forward, Em, not dwell on the past. And I know you mean well, everyone does. But you guys have to let Edward and me figure things out for ourselves."
"Okay."
"And you also have to remember that I agreed to stay despite not knowing what would happen with Edward and me. My staying here isn't dependent on Edward. It's dependent on me and my happiness. Yes, I know I didn't think I could move back here when I first came. But a lot of that also had to do with me worrying about how everyone else would feel about that too. Not just Edward. So you gotta let me do things for myself, you big lug. Okay?"
"Okay," he repeated.
"Pinky swear," I demanded, holding up the pinky on my right hand.
"Pinky swear," he returned, wrapping his pinky around mine and shaking. "Come on now, lets go get some grub. I'm starving."
"When are you not?" I teased, laughing as he pulled me through the door.
"Over here," Alice called to us. "How's it going?" she asked as we reached the table where her, Jasper and Rose were sitting at.
"Good. The living room and bedrooms are all painted. You won't believe the difference a coat of paint makes. Emmett is almost done with the kitchen cabinets, so it's moving along," I said, filling them in.
"Sounds like you guys don't have much left," Rose added as she leaned over and gave her husband a quick kiss.
"We still have to finish the kitchen, do the bathrooms, which will be complete guts, and there's still the outside which is a huge thing to do. It still looks pretty much the same, but I can't do that by myself," Emmett said sitting next to Rose. "How are you feeling today, babe?" he asked her.
"Good, which is why when Momma offered to keep Emma, I didn't hesitate to take her up on it."
We all chuckled at Rose's comment. Emma was adored by all of us, but she could be a handful some days, and with Rose's baby bump growing rapidly now, chasing after Emma was getting hard to do.
"Do you have someone to help you with what's left on the house? Jasper asked Emmett and me.
I was just about to answer him when Jack came over to talk to us. "Hey guys, how's it going?"
"Going good, man, we just came here to feed our overworked selves," Emmett told him.
"Emmett you always want to eat," Rose said, chastising him playfully.
"Don't you know, all work and no play makes life dull?" Jack asked. "What has y'all so busy these days?"
"Didn't Edward tell you? My baby sister is moving back. We're rehabbing our childhood home for her to live in."
I'd never had any doubts about how happy Emmett was that I'd decided to stay in Checotah. However, seeing the light in his eyes and hearing the excitement in his voice as he told Jack about it, it really hit me just how much he'd missed me and how much I'd missed him too. I found myself wanting to cry, but quickly rubbed my eyes and was able to push back the tears, not wanting to do it here in front of everyone.
"Well I'll be," Jack said, moving over to the empty chair next to me at the long table we were sitting at. He swung his arm around my shoulders and continued. "This is your lucky day, darlin'."
"Oh yeah?" I inquired, playing along, not really sure what he was going to say.
"Sure thing, little darlin'," he said causing Alice to roll her eyes and snicker sarcastically at Jack's obvious flirtation. And the sour look on her face said she clearly didn't like it. My dad was a plumber nearly all his life and I worked with him a lot. So, I can take care of all your plumbing needs and then I can take you out on a date or three afterwards."
My attention was drawn away from Jack when Emmett choked on his beer and nearly sprayed us all with it as he coughed.
"Geez, Emmett, you okay over there?" I asked, and noticed he wasn't looking at me, his gaze was higher up as though he was looking over my head.
"Hey, Edward," he said.
Turning around I was shocked to see Edward standing there with a scowl on his face. "Aunt Mae said you were all here for lunch, mind if I join you? I wouldn't want to intrude."
~Edward~
"Thanks, Aunt Mae, you be a good girl, Emma," I called on my way out the door.
I'd gotten home at nearly two in the morning, so I'd slept away the first half of the day. I'd gone up to the house to see what everyone was up to. I grabbed an apple off the counter and asked her what had gone on around the ranch while I was gone. A few minutes into our conversation Aunt Mae let me know Emmett and Bella had been over working on Bella's house. She also mentioned that the two of them along with Rose, Alice, and Jasper were meeting them for lunch at The Bar. I sometimes wondered if that woman was clairvoyant with the way she could tell what you had on your mind without you even uttering a word to her about it.
"Go on now," she said as I finished the apple I was eating.
"Are you kicking me out? I asked, pretending to be hurt.
She laughed and then swatted me with her dish towel. "You know you came up here nosing around for information on where Bella might be. So go on, get out of here and go see her. We can catch up later."
I didn't waste any time making my way back down to the barn to get my truck. I opened the door and was about to climb in when I caught a glimpse of chrome peeking out from the tarp covering my bike. I hadn't had a chance to ride it at all this summer, and the weather today was perfect for it.
Feeling the urge to take it for a ride I climbed up on the seat of the truck and leaned over to grab my sunglasses out of the glove box. As I did the picture of me and Bella from prom night fell out and an image of her sitting on the back of my bike hit like a sledgehammer and then it was gone.
What the hell was that?
"Fuck," I muttered to myself.
Taking a deep breath, I got out of the truck and shut the door and walked over to my bike. After pulling off the dusty cover and tossing it in the corner, I grabbed my helmet off the handlebar and slid it on. Hiking my leg over the seat I slid on my aviators and fired the bike's engine. Closing my eyes, I let the rumble of the engine flow through me and again I saw Bella there with me on the bike. I decided right then I'd have to make that happen.
Walking into The Bar, it didn't take long to find where they were sitting. I was a bit taken aback by what I saw, and didn't like what I heard as I walked up to their table. I'd always known Jack to be a huge flirt and a bit of a lady's man, but I'd never expected him to make a move on Bella. And unless I was sorely mistaken, that's exactly what he was doing.
The second Emmett saw me he choked on his beer. "Hey, Edward," he said as soon as he could talk.
Being wrong just flew out the fucking window.
Emmett's reaction told me all I needed to know. He thought Jack was hitting on Bella too.
"Aunt Mae said ya'll were all here for lunch, mind if I join in? I wouldn't want to intrude," I told them, my gaze finding Bella's.
Her cheeks turned pink and she looked mortified, but why? Did she want to date Jack?
"Hey, man," Jack said as he slowly stood up, holding his hand out for me to shake.
I took his hand and shook it. "Hey," I returned a bit stiffly, holding his hand a little tighter than I normally would, hoping to convey the question that was eating at me.
What the hell are you doing, Jack?
"I was just telling Bella here that I could help her with any plumbing needs she might have."
"Is that right?" I asked quirking an eyebrow at him.
"We were all just telling him how we were helping Bella rehab her old house in our free time," Jasper threw in. I had a feeling he was trying to defuse the situation, considering more than anyone else, he knew my true feelings about Bella.
Sam, Jack's other bar tender called over to our table, "Hey, Jack, can you give me a hand for a sec?"
"Be right there, Sam. Hey let me get your orders so I can give Sam a hand, it's been crazy busy all day."
"That's a good thing," Emmett told him.
"Sure is," Jack said, and then took our orders and was off to tend to his business.
"How's the house coming, Bella?" I asked pulling her attention to me. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted all her focus on me. "It feels like forever since I've been over there."
Everyone else had an advantage over me. They all worked right here in town for the most part so they had more time to help Bella than I did.
"Well you wouldn't know we'd done anything to it from the outside, But the inside is really coming along. You should come by and see it when you have time," Bella suggested with a smile that hinted she was glad I had asked. "I think you'll be surprised by how different it looks.
Life was a funny thing. For the last four years, I'd gone on with my life, believing there was a real possibility I'd never see Bella again. When I'd learned she was coming back, first thing I wanted to do was avoid her at all costs. I was even willing to face the wrath of Aunt Mae to avoid Bella. And now, well now after being gone for the better part of three weeks, right after the two of us promising to get to know one another again, to be friends and see what happened, I had found myself missing her again. Even the few text conversations we'd had while I was out on the road hadn't helped much. In some ways they made it worse, because I couldn't see her as we talked.
So when she offered up the opportunity to spend some time with her, I took it. "I'll do that. How's your new job going?" I asked, truly wanting to know.
"It's going good. A little frustrating, but good," she said.
Before I could ask what was frustrating her, Jasper jumped in, "Bella is upset because she read a report about the changes being made to building codes in Alabama and is being met with more resistance than she thought she'd get to trying to get them implemented up here."
"I'm sure funding is a big part of it, what kinds of changes are you talking about?" I asked curiously. Chances are I'd agree with them, given the type of damage I'd seen in my job, and if I could help in any way, I would.
"Well for instance in school buildings and other similar type buildings being built they are doing things like windows rated for 200 mph winds and steel doors with steel frames that meet compliance for the extreme effects of tornadoes," Bella explained, her voice filled with passion and conviction.
"I can definitely see where those upgrades would greatly improve the safety of buildings, especially schools filled with kids," I told her. "However, they are also costly."
"They are," Bella said. "But look at how many tornadoes have hit this state in recent years and taken out entire schools. Wasn't there one somewhere that even took out a hospital? If they are having to rebuild them anyways, why not make them as safe as they can be? Hell, they've only just recently started using hurricane straps up here in the Midwest to help keep roofs on houses in storms."
"Hey, you don't have to convince me. I'm on your side. I've seen firsthand the devastation those monsters can cause," I agreed.
"They can do that, they really have windows that will withstand those kinds of winds?" Alice asked.
"Yes," Bella and I said in unison. We both chuckled and looked over to find our friends all just staring at us with shit-eating grins on their faces. We were saved when Sam came over with a large tray loaded down with our lunches.
"So where were you off chasing tornadoes this time?" Emmett asked before taking a huge bite of the burger he'd ordered.
"Mostly Kansas and a quick trip into southern Missouri. We saw some really nasty shit this time out," I told them.
"One of these days you're gonna need to grow up and get a real job," Emmett commented.
I had been about to take a bite of my own burger, instead I put it down and I looked up at him. Everyone else was too. No one said anything, we all just stared at Emmett.
"What?" he asked innocently when he'd noticed.
"You got a problem with my job, Emmett?" I was trying real hard not to get pissed off at him.
"Just saying. One day you might have a wife and kids and how are they gonna feel if you're out chasing tornadoes? That's all I'm trying to say."
"Well, Emmett," I said sitting back in my chair and placing both my hands on the table. "Not that it's really any of your business, but to answer your question, it's been a real long time since I've thought about having a wife and kids. I guess if I was ever in that situation, I'd have to reevaluate things. But also, you do realize that I don't do my job just for fun. Yes, the weather has always fascinated me, but what me, my team, and all the other storm chasers do out there is helping save lives. While we risk ours, I might add. It could help save your ass one day."
I glanced over at Bella and noticed she was now staring down at her food, absent-mindedly pushing a fry around in her ketchup.
Fuck! I internally cursed. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to think I was blaming her.
"Ouch," Emmett whined. Rose had whacked him on the back of his head. "What'd you do that for Rosie?"
"Cuz you're a moron," Rose replied.
"A ninja moron," Alice added with a snicker.
"Look," I added. While I didn't appreciate his method of asking me, or his timing, I had a pretty good idea where Emmett was coming from. He was asking as a big brother, looking out for his little sister. "My job is dangerous, I get that. And honestly if I were to have someone significant in my life at some point….well that would most likely change things. But for now, it's my job. If the winds of change blow in my favor and I do find someone to have my ass for the rest of their life," I glanced over at Bella again, "I'm all for looking into other means of employment."
As we finished eating the guys spent the majority of the time talking about sports, while the girls talked about decorating Bella's house. Well Alice talked and Bella and Rose gave their input when needed. But I wasn't much better. I mostly listened to Jasper and Emmett, answering when they directly spoke to me. The rest of the time I was fixated on Bella. For the first time I could really see she wasn't the same girl I'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Sure, I could still see that same girl in her smile, and in the smattering of freckles across her nose, and hear it in her laughter. But she wasn't the fearless teenager she'd once been. She was stronger, bolder, and more self-assured than she'd been back then. Or at least in everything but where things stood between her and me.
When you're eighteen and in love you think that love is strong enough to withstand anything. You dream of life after college and never once consider that, that love could ever be broken. And maybe our love had been strong enough to withstand anything, after all it was still there in some way, but Bella hadn't been. Her father had broken her in the worst possible way. I'd never considered the fact that when she left, she'd never told me she didn't love me, just that she'd changed her mind about our plans and she couldn't stay here anymore and was leaving. And as I looked at her now, the sun shining in and lighting up the auburn colors of her hair, and her smile carefree and happy, I recalled our talk a few weeks ago about being friends and getting to know each other again, and while I did want that, I also didn't know if I knew how to just be friends with Bella. I didn't know if that would ever be enough for me.
I was pulled from my thoughts by the scrapping of a chair against the wooden floor.
"I need to go to the bathroom before this baby jumps on my bladder again," Rose said making us all chuckle as she rubbed her growing baby bump. "Emmett, help me up since this is all your fault," she added.
Alice and Bella both hopped up to join her, leaving me there with Emmett and Jasper staring at me.
"What," I asked?
"Dude, you've done nothing for the last fifteen minutes but stare at my sister," Emmett announced.
"He's got it bad," Jasper added.
"Always has," Emmett said, continuing their banter.
"I wasn't staring at Bella," I lied.
"Why does he keep fighting it," Emmett asked Jasper like I wasn't even there.
"I guess he thinks that pretending to be looking at food thing or out the window works. I don't know how he keeps fighting it," Jasper said. "He's clearly still in love with her.
"You can both stop now. Bella and I have agreed to get to know each other again and be friends. If it goes beyond that, then, well, then that's great."
"He's funny," Jasper told Emmett.
"Blind too," Emmett threw in.
"And you two are fucking comedians."
"Come on, man, just give in, you know you want to," Jasper insisted. And he was right, I did, I'd reached a point where I just didn't care anymore, I wanted to give in to my feelings. But I didn't want to rush into things either.
"I told you, Bella and me are friends getting to know each other again," I reiterated.
"Yeah well friends don't try to rip the arm off they guy who's talking to said friend's ex-girlfriend if that ex-girlfriend is just a friend," Emmett said.
"Huh?" Jasper and I both said.
"You know what I meant. You practically ripped Jack's hand off his arm when you saw him hitting on Bella."
"Shit, was I that obvious?"
"Yeah, you were. But lucky for you, I don't think my sister realized it," Emmett replied.
"I just.. I don't know. Yes, I have feelings for her, but don't you think we should get to know each other again. What if we don't like who we are now? What if we don't work like we used to?"
"Here's what I think," Jasper supplied. "You and Bella already know fundamentally who you are. You know all the crap that most people learn when they start dating someone. So, you are already miles ahead of where most couples are when they start dating. I'm not saying rush into anything, but why not just let the chips fall where they may. Don't label anything. You don't have to be friends, you don't have to be anything but together. Just let things happen naturally. You guys will know what's right for the two of you."
I was about to tell him I could do that, but I didn't get the chance because the girls came back.
"Emmett, are you about ready? Emma will be waking up if she isn't already and I am pooped," Rose declared.
"Sure, darlin'," he told his wife. He got up and gave her a quick kiss and then turned to his sister. "Hey, Bella, you gonna ride with us or Jasper and Alice?"
"Well seeing as I'm done for the day too, I might as well ride back to the ranch with you guys. It would be stupid for Jasper and Alice to drive out of their way when you are going where I need to go."
"Makes sense, lets go," Emmett said.
The three of us guys insisted on taking care of the tab despite Bella's protest that she could pay for her own lunch. Afterwards we all made our way to the door and said our goodbyes.
Bella was about to climb into Emmett's and Rose's truck with them when an idea hit me.
"Hey, Bella, wanna ride with me?"
She stopped and looked around. "Where's your truck? How are you even getting home?"
"Right there," I said, pointing to my bike.
"You have a motorcycle?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah, it's a nice day and I haven't had it out in a while so I rode it here. So, what'd ya say?"
"Well what about a helmet? Surely you don't just carry an extra one around?"
I could see the light in her eyes, she wanted to go with me.
"You can wear mine," I suggested. "I'll take the back roads back to the ranch, it won't be a big deal."
"I don't know," she hesitated.
"Here," Jasper said. He tossed a helmet at me. "Now you both have one."
"Well?" I prompted Bella for an answer. She had a look of confusion on her face so I added in, "Jasper has a bike too."
"Um, okay then. Sure," she replied, a smile spreading across her pretty face.
Once we'd said goodbye to everyone for a second time, I couldn't resist helping Bella strap on the helmet. It was a breezy day and her hair kept blowing in her face. "Here, let me help," I offered, holding my hand out for the helmet. She handed it to me. "Now get your hair all pulled back." When she did, I slipped the helmet on her head and then tightened the strap under her chin and checked to make sure it was tight, but not so much it would pinch her neck.
After pulling on my own helmet and slipping on my aviators, I tossed a leg over the bike and settled into the saddle. With a quick kick of my heel, the kickstand retracted and I shifted my weight until the bike was balanced and ready for Bella to climb on. Looking over my shoulder I smiled at Bella while patting the seat behind me in invitation for her to climb on. I couldn't help noticing the way her cheeks had turned pink as she stood there watching me. I'd like to think it meant she liked what she saw.
"You know what you're doing right? You have a license to drive one of these?" she asked a little nervously, the color on her cheeks darkening a little.
She was so cute staring at me with a shy smile on her face, I couldn't help laughing a little. "Of course. I'm not a law breaker. Do you really think I'd be on the streets with this if I didn't?"
"No, I guess not. I just really don't wanna die yet," she laughed.
"And you think I do?" I threw back at her.
"Well you do chase tornadoes for a living." She had a smile a mile wide on her face this time, letting me know she was messing with me.
"Always a smartass," I muttered and then reached out and took her hand in mine. Pulling her closer to me I whispered, "I promise to be extra safe, Kitten."
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise of my use of the nickname I'd given her when we were in high school.
"Come on," I said flashing her a wide smile. Letting go of her hand, I patted the seat again. "All you gotta do is put your left foot on the peg and then hike your right leg over and hop on. Have some fun."
I could tell she was still a little hesitant as she threw her leg over the bike and grabbed on to my shoulders to help her climb on. I told her where to put her feet and then turned the key. As the bike rumbled to life, I felt Bella's legs clamp tighter around me and her hands dig into my shirt. With my feet still on the ground holding us upright, I reached up and grabbed her hands and pulled them down around my waist. The feeling of her practically wrapped around me felt amazing, better than anything I'd felt in a long time.
"Hold on tight, Kitten," I warned as I started us forward slowly on the gravel parking lot and out onto the street.
As soon as we got a bit further down the street I felt the stiffness leave Bella's form as she relaxed against me. Riding the high of having Bella on my bike with me, I quickly turned my head and hollered for Bella to hang on tightly. When I felt her grip tighten on me, I opened the throttle, causing the bike to shoot down the road like a rocket. At the same time, I felt Bella's hands move around from the side of my waist and grasp onto my front belt loops. Fire was shooting through me down below at the thrill of it.
Enjoying our ride an idea popped into my head and I knew exactly where I wanted to take Bella. It was a place familiar to both of us and I was hoping that she wouldn't mind the detour on our way back to the ranch. Going just a little further down the road, I made a left when I came to Old Mill Road. About a mile down we came to where the train tracks ran along the river. After crossing the tracks and turning off the road, I drove on the dirt until I came to the spot along the riverbank where we all used to sneak off and swim. A tattered and frayed part of the old rope we used to swing out and jump from was still tied to a low hanging tree branch. It looked as if it had been cut just below the knot holding it to the tree, probably when the newer one next to it was hung. It was cool to think that another group of kids spent their summer days where we used to. After shutting off the bike, I pulled my helmet off and waited for Bella to climb off.
"Shit," she exclaimed and laughed when I grabbed her by the arm when her leg caught while she was getting off the bike. It was a little tall for her short legs.
Getting on had been easier since she could put her foot on the peg and hold on to me as she pulled herself up. But not having any experience on a motorcycle, Bella didn't realize she could use the peg to get down too. I'd make a point to show her. If I was being honest with myself, I was hoping this might be the first of many rides together on my bike.
She pulled off the helmet and shook her hair out as I pushed down the kickstand, making sure the bike settled steadily, and then got off the bike.
Looking at Bella I couldn't help but think how fucking gorgeous she was. She was practically glowing as she stood there in the sun.
"I hope you don't mind the little detour," I told her. "You do know where we are, right?"
"Yes, we're at the old swimming hole. I can't believe part of that old rope is still hanging there. But how?" she asked, a smile lighting up her face as she took in our surroundings.
"How what? How did we get down here?"
"Yeah, there only used to be one way down this way. Old Mill Road never went all the way to Main Street on this side of town. When did that change?"
I chuckled at her eagerness to know. "A couple years ago a train derailed right over there." I pointed to the spot where the tracks started to curve around a cliff. "It took too long for the emergency response teams to get to it since there was only one way down here. After that they extended it up to Main Street so they'd have access from both ways."
"That makes sense. If you think about it, it's kinda crazy they hadn't thought of that sooner."
"It is," I agreed. "Come on," I held my hand out for hers. She slipped her hand into mine and we started towards the river's edge.
We sat on the grass close to the edge. I watched as Bella kicked off her shoes and closed her eyes and tilted her head back, lifting her face to the sun. It hit me again at just how beautiful she was.
When a few moments went by and she didn't say anything I broke the silence and asked, "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"
"Nothing really. I'm just taking it all in," she said, a soft sweet smile on her face.
"Just what are you taking in, your eyes are closed."
She fell back onto the grass, keeping her eyes closed. "The sounds of the river, the birds and the wind blowing through the trees. I missed all those things in Miami."
"Is that all you missed?" The question had come out before I could stop it.
Bella opened her eyes and discovered me lying next to her in the grass with my arm folded, and my head propped in my hand.
We held each other's gaze for a long moment before she whispered, "No, it's not."
There was another long pause of silence and then Bella cleared her throat. "Today when you first got to The Bar, you looked mad, or upset about something. Like something was bothering you. I'd seen you walk in and you had a smile on your face until you looked over to our table. What was that all about?" she asked.
For a few long breaths we just stared at each other. The only sound was that of the nature around us and I was certain Bella could probably hear my heart hammering in my chest. I closed my eyes and pulled in a long breath of air and let it back out. "I didn't like what I saw when I came in."
"What do you mean? Are you talking about Jack?"
I let out a frustrated sigh and scratched my hand through my hair, knowing this was going to be a turning point for us.
"Come on, it can't be that bad, is it?" When I still didn't answer she went on. "I thought we agreed to being friends, and friends talk to each other when something is bugging them, right?" Bella rolled up on her side and her position mirrored mine.
"That's the problem, Bella. I don't know if I can be friends with you."
A hurt expression fell across her face. "What? Then what are we doing down here? Why not just let me ride with Rose and Emmett?"
"Fuck", I muttered when she started to get up. Reaching out I kept her from moving. "That's not what I meant. That came out wrong."
She seemed to relax just a little. "Okay. Then what did you mean?"
"Yes, it's about Jack. Well partly. I didn't like him coming on to you. But if we're just friends, I have no right to say anything. So what I'm trying to say is, I don't know if I know how to be friends with you, Bella. I don't know how to be just friends with you. What you saw when I walked in was me being pissed that Jack was making a play for you."
"It doesn't matter, Edward. He can flirt all he wants. It's not going to change anything."
"So you knew he was flirting?" I asked.
"Yes. Why?"
"You always were completely oblivious to all the guys flirting with you and vying for your attention in high school?" I replied, shaking my head and thinking back to our high school days.
She laughed. "I guess I was a bit clueless back then. But even though I was aware of Jack today, Edward, I couldn't even really tell you what he was saying, beyond the fact he was offering to help do some plumbing at the house."
"You weren't paying attention to him?
"No. I guess I was too busy paying attention to you," she teased, and playfully poked me in the chest. "But seriously, all I really heard was the plumbing part. Something about his dad too, I think.
"Yeah, his dad was a plumber for years, and Jack was offering to help with plumbing. But he was also offering a whole lot more. It wasn't what he said, Bella, it was how he said it. I know Jack, he's one of my best friends, and he was offering a lot more than just plumbing."
"And that upset you?" she asked softly. Hesitantly as she looked down and started tugging on the grass between us.
"Yes," I answered.
She looked back up at me and studied my face for a second, like she was searching for an answer she was unsure about asking. But then she did. "Why?"
Here goes nothing, I told myself. "Because the thought of anyone, any man having anything other than platonic thoughts about you drives me insane."
Her eyes fell closed and she took in a deep breath. "Why?" she asked again.
"I told you, I don't know how to be just friends with you."
"So where does that leave us?" she needed to know. I could see her need for answers blazing in her eyes. Things were changing and we were both a bit on edge because of what it could mean.
"I'm tired of fighting how I feel. Especially right now."
"Then don't." She opened her eyes and held mine pinned to hers. The mood shifted and the chemistry between us crackled in the air all around us. It only took a second for me to feel myself involuntarily leaning closer to her. I brushed her hair back over her shoulder and slid my hand up behind her neck and pulled her to me. "Bella," I murmured her name as I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to hers.
God, how I'd missed kissing her. The way our lips danced together perfectly.
When I felt her tongue brush against my bottom lip, I didn't hold back any longer. Brushing my tongue against her lip, her mouth opened, letting me in. Everything around us faded away. Nothing mattered but Bella and me lost in our kisses that went on for what seemed like forever.
Bella's hands moved up my arms until they were both tangled in my hair. As I started nudging her onto her back to deepen the kiss, a train came chugging down the track, blowing its horn, and pulling us from the haze we were lost in and keeping us from getting too carried away. Groaning in frustration I rolled onto my back as we reluctantly pulled apart.
"Damn train," Bella muttered softly as she sat up. I wasn't really sure if she meant for me to hear her curse the train or not.
Pulling myself up too, I looked in her eyes and saw a fire burning there that I hadn't seen in a very long time. In that moment I knew everything had just changed between us.
How 'bout that kiss? Let me know what y'all thought! See you next time.
~EA