As always, I owe a lot of thanks to My-Bella for all her help with this. Trust me, you wouldn't' want to read this before she goes over it with her magic purple editing pen.

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. But I wish I did.

So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
Don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you

~Ed Sheeran

Where we left off…

"You're leaving?"

Now…

~Bella~

The pain in his words cut through me like a knife. I knew I should have told him sooner, but I'd really wanted to surprise him with this trip.

"Edward," I called as he turned and headed right back out the door. "Wait. Please."

I hurried across the kitchen and out the door after him, hoping he'd wait and hear me out. He was standing at the bottom of the porch steps, staring off across the field.

"Oh, thank goodness." I sighed in relief that he hadn't run off. "I can explain if you'll just give me the chance. God, I was so stupid, I should have just told you right away."

"Told me right away?" he asked, anger filling his voice. "Is that supposed to make it better?" Hanging his head, he kicked at the dirt with the toe of his boot.

I moved down the stairs and came to stand in front of him. I reached out to take his hand. He didn't pull away, but his hand remained open, lifeless, as it sat in mine.

"The only reason I didn't tell you is because I wanted to surprise you."

He chuckled darkly. "Oh, I'm surprised alright." He jerked his hand away from mine and tucked them in his jean pockets.

I couldn't deny the move stung. Maybe this situation was worse than I initially thought. Pleading with him I said, "Edward, please. I can explain everything. Can we just go have dinner? Once we've eaten and are alone, I'll fill you in on everything?" I waited for him to respond, hoping he'd agree.

Lifting his head, his gaze met mine. "What's there to explain. You're leaving. Again."

"I'm sorry, I should have just told you back when Jessica called. I'm sorry for that. But I don't understand why you're acting this wa—" I stopped mid-sentence as it suddenly registered in my head what he'd said. Again.

"Edward," I whispered, reaching out to touch him. Needing to touch him. But when I saw him flinch and then try to hide it, I had to settle for fidgeting with the tail of the shirt I was wearing. His shirt. The flannel he'd given me the other night on his bike. "Surely you don't think I was just going to run off and leave you again. It was such a mess trying to coordinate with Jess, my old roommate in Miami, my work schedule, your work schedule, and Emmett's too, just in case you couldn't go and he had to. Jasper even helped me when I went to your boss to ask if you could have the time off. Please tell me you believe me."

Instead of giving me the reassurance I was begging for, he continued to stare at the ground. It didn't take long for realization to hit and the truth rammed into me like a freight train barreling full speed down the tracks.

"Oh my God. You did think that. Didn't you?"

He nodded. Finally glancing up at me he said, "Yeah, I did."

"Why? Help me understand."

"I guess I panicked, I don't know how else to explain it."

I could see so many emotions brimming in his eyes. The anger I'd initially saw was now joined by hurt, and something else. Fear. And I didn't understand. Of course, I knew I'd hurt him badly when I'd left before. It hurt me too. However, I'd thought we'd moved on from that. That we were both in this all the way. Especially since we'd given in and embraced the physical side of our relationship.

"But why, Edward." Do you not realize that I'm all in this relationship with you? I've set down roots here again. Gave up a hell of a fucking internship to stay here. Found a job, finally making peace with my past here. I've fallen in love with you all over again."

With my admittance of having fallen in love with him again I saw a brief flash of something in his eyes. Maybe surprise or guilt. I wasn't sure since it was gone so fast. I knew I had to make myself completely clear with him. And I had to know where he stood too. "I am in this one hundred percent. And I thought after we'd made love the other night that you were too."

"I know," he admitted.

"You know?" I chuckled sarcastically. "Do you?" I asked him, trying to fight off the anger I felt rising in me. "If you do then tell me this. Are you all in, Edward?"

"I want to be." His answer was a bit of a shock. Not what I was expecting at all. He hung his head and his shoulders slumped as if in defeat. Something was up. It was as if him thinking I was running away again had triggered something inside him.

I sighed, feeling totally deflated myself. "This is not how I saw this going. I was so looking forward to taking you with me, introducing you to my friends down there, showing you that part of my life. And now…now I don't know what to think. I just feel lost, Edward."

I turned and started to head back inside. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to deal with what he'd admitted. I didn't know what to do to get him to where I was. Or if he could get there. I needed some time to think. Time to digest what'd happened here today. Maybe he did too.

I'd just reached the last porch step when he called out, "Kitten," just loud enough for me to hear. The pain in his voice stopped me in my tracks. Tears welling in my eyes from being hurt and pissed.

When he repeated my nickname I sucked in a deep breath and turned around. I didn't know whether to be happy or heartbroken that he looked as miserable as I felt.

"Don't Kitten me," I told him. "You need to figure out what you want, Edward. Why did we have sex? Why did you say you were ready to take that big of a step forward without knowing if you want a future with me or not?"

I waited and nothing. Not a word.

"I'm flying to Miami in a few days. I have to get all of my stuff to bring back here. Here to the new life I'm building for myself. Where I thought we were working on making a new life together. I'll likely be gone for about a week, depending on how long it takes to drive back with my things. I'm hoping that you'll take this time to figure out what you want. If you want me. If you can trust me. Because if you can't trust me, trust that I am not going to leave again, I don't know how we'll ever move forward. And as much as it sucks to tell you like this right now, I have to say it. I need you to know. I love you, Edward, and I know what I want. I can understand your misconception about me leaving. But you jumping into a physical relationship with me and not knowing what you want…that's not the Edward I fell in love with—either time."

I'd never really understood that saying the silence if deafening, but when Edward again had nothing to say, I was wholly aware of just how loud the quiet could be. Giving up I made my way back into the house, praying to the universe that he'd make the choice I wanted him too. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I walked through the kitchen. I knew they probably wanted answers, but I had none to give. I went straight to my room, curled up on my bed, and gave into the tears I'd been holding back.

Monday…No contact from Edward. The day came and went. I ended up calling my boss and begging for more time off. Luckily, he was understanding.

.

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Tuesday…

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Wednesday…

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Thursday… I would be leaving for Miami in the tomorrow morning. I was losing hope.

I promise there are reasons that will make sense.

Thanks for reading!

~EA